The Mitch Is Back

[music] Welcome to Love It Or Leave It, live from Hollywood. I'm John Love It and I'm on that new Michigan produce diet. [laughter] For some, we're going to tighten it up. We got a great show for your night, but first, let's get into it. What a week! [applause] A U.S. Senator has shuffled off this mortal coil over the weekend and twist. It wasn't the one we expected. C.I.M. Alive said Mitch McConnell bolting upright and causing the medical examiner to issue a full-body scream. Yes, South Carolina Senator and Secret RuPaul's Drag Race fan, Lindsey Graham, died on Saturday evening at the age of 71. It came as quite a shock as Graham seemed like he was always in a younger man's body. [laughter] According. I would say, "Get comfortable with what that was." [laughter] According to Axios, a person who spoke to the Senator on Saturday night urged him to seek medical attention immediately, but Graham said he would do so Sunday morning after his scheduled appearance on NBC's Meet the Press. A bitchy queen literally dying to be on television cannot relate. [laughter] President Trump hailed Lindsey Graham as a true American patriot on truth social and ordered that all American flags across the country be lowered to, quote, "half-mast" through Saturday. Half-mast refers to the lowering of flags on naval vessels, which Lindsey would have appreciated the man "loved semen." [laughter] So, okay, Trump meant half-staff fine, but also, and I seem to be the only person who actually cares about this. The President of the United States cannot order the flags across the country to be lowered. He does not control all of the American flags because this remains a free country. His authority extends to federal flag polls and the mass-sun government ships, and that is it. Besides, this is Lindsey Graham we're talking about. He wanted the full poll. [laughter] South Carolina governor Henry McMaster appointed Graham's sister, Darling Graham Norton, to serve out the remainder of her brother's term. And I don't know why, but it is simply not possible to hear this news about Lindsey Graham's sister being appointed to fulfill his term. And not picture Lindsey Graham in a dress and a wig. Right? Like, it's an incredibly powerful image that this idea calls into all of our collective consciousness. Didn't when you heard that Lindsey Graham's sister was going to replace Lindsey Graham. Didn't you picture almost against your will Lindsey Graham in a kind of Barbara Bush style dress with pearls and a kind of Bob style, like old school Republican wig? Right? Like, am I crazy? Like, did you, am I alone? Did you picture that? Right? No? Shut up! [laughter] Anyway, here's the governor. Lindsey took care of his little sister in years long departed. It's my honor to ask his little sister, Darling Graham, to finish his work for him now. So Lindsey and Darling Graham's mother died of cancer and soon after their father died of a heart attack. Lindsey Graham was 22. His sister was only 13. He became her legal guardian. And oh, I guess you don't want to be reminded that this flawed and ultimately tragic figure also contained genuine humanity. Because it makes the jokes feel a little bit bad. Well, that's on you. This evil fag was a wonderful brother. [laughter] He was also in the middle of running for his fifth term and the GOP will need to hold a special election to replace him on the ballot. And his allies and opponents all agree Graham left a big hole to fill. [laughter] South Carolina congresswoman and advocate for mental health treatment by dint of her behavior, Nancy Mace finished dead last in the primary for governor a month ago. But she's interested posting this Godfather clip on social media. Just what I thought I was out. They pulled me back in. Hey babe, no one's pulling you back anywhere. I've never seen a person less pulled in my life. Go enjoy your summer. Have some fresh, uncooked vegetables. It is the season. On Monday Trump called into Fox News to eulogize the late senator. Now he had one bad moment and that was, you know, in the January 6th when he stood up. All right. Now I've had it. That's it. I can't do it anymore. He called me like about 40 minutes later. He said, "Did I really say that? I can't believe it." And he took it back. So I give him a 99 instead of a 100. Mr. President, this is hardly the time to drag Lindsey Graham's memory through the mud by reminding us of his failure to hang Mike Pence. And it obviously ran counter to Graham's instincts. He loved to see a man who's hung. Graham once wrote a bill to cap greenhouse gas emissions with John Kerry and he was part of a gang of eight in 2013 that proposed a pathway to citizenship for undocumented immigrants. Gang of eight was also his favorite Pornhub search. He absolutely hated Trump. There's a lot of quotes by Graham mocking Trump. But it's worth seeing Graham's full plea from December of 2015. What is your reaction to hearing what Donald Trump says? It disgusted. Well, I want to talk to the Trump supporters for a minute. I don't know who you are and I don't know why you like this guy. I think what you like about him, he appears to be strong when the rest of us are weak. He's a very successful businessman. He's going to make everything great. He's going to take all the problems of the world and put them in a box and make your life better. That's what he's selling. Here's what you're buying. He's a race-baiting, xenophobic, religious-big. That's what Mr. Trump is doing and I don't think he has a clue about anything. He's just trying to get his numbers up and get the biggest reaction. He's putting our soldiers and diplomats at risk. He's empowering the enemy. In this ban, if it's actually enacted, would take people who have been interpreters who came to our side in Iraq and Afghanistan, who are under siege in their own countries and basically becomes a death sentence for them. And you know how you make America great again till Donald Trump to go to hell. And then Trump won and Graham became among Trump's closest allies. In fact, Graham got so jealous of Trump's other best friend that he had a murdered in jail and made it look like a suicide. Graham was pretty explicit about his motivations. He wanted to keep his job, stay relevant, and he believed he could harness what he called Trump's magic for good against Trump's dark side. And now he's dead. Do we think Graham succeeded? There's a quote from him reported by the Atlantic this week. He said, "When I was first elected to the house, I looked for the day. They who run things. They who know how things really work. They who know what they're doing. But I couldn't find the day." He keeps looking in the Senate and the White House. What I finally realized is that there is no day. There's only we and we usually don't know what the fuck we're doing. What he's talking about are the adults. And on some level, I think he's talking about parents. I do. And just as there's no one once we become adults and parents ourselves who secretly know what to do, there's also no one to tell you how to be. You can give up your principles and sell your soul and no one will stop you. No alarm will go off. No one will protect you as you become a vassal for a fraud until one day you die. And that fraud you once despised, but then embraced, despite knowing in your bones that it was wrong, he gives you a number grade to sum up your entire life, says you love the outdoors and sucked it golf. Briefly had a conscience, but don't worry. It did it last. Before he hangs up, he continues to do exactly what he would have done had you never sold out in the first place. So R.I.P. Lindsey Graham, I'll see you in gay hell where the diacokes are flat and the boobs are enormous. Speaking of people, you might see in hell on Sunday Mitch McConnell's team finally provided proof that the senator is alive and well, well just alive. There's the photo. Come on, give me more of a smile, said the photographer, to the two people off camera pulling the strings attached to each side of Mitch McConnell's dead face. The photo shows the senator propped up in a hospital bed next to his wife. He's holding the Sunday Wall Street Journal Sports section, a tactic borrowed from hostage videos. They had planned to upload a video as well, but the circling vultures kept swooping down, swooping into the shot. The image was accompanied by a lengthy statement that also explained his prolonged silence. He said, "You all know how folks of my generation often hesitate to share the vulnerability that comes with growing older. Even in the public eye, I feel that same instinct. I can't help it." The statement says McConnell plans to get back on the senate floor as soon as possible. It continues, "I can't wait to catch up on the news right after I eat this delicious leafy green salad from Michigan." Speaking of needing a guilt-free reason to get a side of fries, an outbreak of a parasite that causes explosive diarrhea has led to over 4,000 cases across Michigan and Ohio alone. Let's just say the Cleveland Browns are heading to the bowl. The number of reported cases in Michigan doubled from Friday to Monday as a result Michigan has been downgraded from a flyover state to a fly-around state. The outbreak may even be worse than what's reported due to doge cuts. The CDC has lost a quarter of its workforce and the Trump administration scaled back the system that tracks food-borne illnesses. "I warned you," said the CDC's former chief diarrhea detective. "I knew the name seemed dumb to Elon, but it was a serious job." The parasite. The chief diarrhea detective cannot get it. at any respect in this administration. They're making fun of 'em, shoving 'em in a locker, putting his signs on his cards, the chief diarrhea detective is an important job, you know, realize how important to everybody got diarrhea. (audience laughing) The parasite is an airborne, but spreads through food. It's been found in berries, bags, salad mix, precut vegetables, fresh herbs, and it says here that thing you just ate. (audience laughing) Symptoms include weeks of watery diarrhea, fatigue, cramps, bloating, and other gastrointestinal issues, said Jewish Americans, and how do you know if you have it? (audience laughing) Per the Washington Post, on Tuesday, federal and state authorities are investigating Taco Bell as a vector in Michigan's outbreak, when reached for comment that Taco Bell Chihuahua said Yokeiro, Saltines, and Gatorade. (audience laughing) While the link hasn't been confirmed, multiple Taco Bell locations have voluntarily removed lettuce and tomatoes from their menus, but the lettuce and tomatoes are why I go to Taco Bell, said a serial killer. (audience laughing) Explained who cares? Just a shit that falls out. Let's give it up Taco Bell. Never put them back. Why are we all pretending? We want the lettuce and tomato on these things. Shut up. (audience laughing) Explained to Taco Bell Spokesperson, the last thing we want is for people to associate Taco Bell with diarrhea. (audience laughing) Speaking of problems that are airborne, on Friday Trump's Justice Department, issued subpoenas to several New York Times journalists who reported on security concerns related to Trump's new plane, which was gifted to him from Qatar. Yes, had it not been for this reporting, we would have no reason to doubt the hastily renovated used airplane, given as a bribe by a corrupt amir, might pose a security risk. But have they found the electronic monitoring devices, said a Qatari spy? Who said that replied Trump alone in the airplane's beautiful marble bathroom? (audience laughing) According to the reports, Trump used the old Air Force one, instead of his new present, after the Secret Service expressed concerns that the Qatari plane lacked the advanced security features necessary to protect the president. Said the Secret Service, also seems like a suspicious number of trapped doors to include in the floor of Air Force one. Trump enlisted FBI director, Cash Patel, to personally head up the investigation with Patel cancelling a trip to Chicago to see his country singer-girlfriend perform. Said Trump, you can miss that, right? It's like a sun's wedding or whatever. (audience laughing) And finally, the great actor Sam Neal, known for his roles in Jurassic Park, the hunt for Red October, and in a movie that absolutely fucked me up, Event Horizon, has passed away at age 78 in Sydney, Australia. That's weird, I haven't seen him around heaven yet, said Lindsey Graham, being dipped by his feet into a lake of lava by a giant shrieking pig monster. (audience laughing) We've got a great show for you tonight. (audience applauding) And we hope you're right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Quo. Running a business means you're always reachable until you're not. And the moment you miss that call, the text, the follow-up, a competitor is the one that picks it up. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q-U-O, the business phone system built so you never miss an opportunity. All your calls, texts, and voicemails live in one place. So anyone on your team can pick up a conversation, see the full history and respond fast. 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(audience cheering) David Wayne and Joe Lutulio will be out in just a moment, but first I will be kicking off CricketCon weekend with Love It or Leave It Live in Washington, DC on Friday, November 6th at the historic Capital Turnaround Theater. And the next day, I'll be at the All Day CricketCon on November 7th. So come be part of CricketCon. It's a great time. It's a great chance to hang with a bunch of people fighting to protect democracy, fighting to be part of this great community. We will have just had the election. We'll know how it ended and get ready to go into the primaries and the presidential race to come. So get tickets for Love It or Leave It Live and the All Day CricketCon at CricketCon.com. All right, please welcome to the stage. My two celebrity home passes, besides myself, of course. What does that mean? (audience laughing) It's David Wayne and Joe Lutulio. (audience cheering) - Hi. - Hi. - Hi. - Hi. - Good to see you. - I'll get in here. - Hello, folks. - Hey. - Hey, everybody. - Hey. (audience applauding) - Thank you for coming on. So you just made a new movie, Gail Dottry and The Celebrity Sex Pass. - Yes. - So let's start with this. - Yeah. (audience applauding) - Who are your celebrity sex passes? - Oh my goodness. - Oh boy. - Well, that's a stumper. - That is a stumper. - I'm sorry, is this not been asked of you? - It has, and yet there's never a good answer and I'll tell you why. Because if I named an actual famous person that I actually would have sex with, that would be very awkward and creepy. And so then I guess I could make a joke. But now it's too late for that. Now that I've torn it apart. - I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what. I always had a crush on Daphne from Scooby Doo, the animated Daphne. - Oh, cool. - Yeah. - Did anyone want to do that? - That's not what I wanted to do by myself. Like I thought Aladdin, when I was a kid, a boy, Aladdin. - Right? - He was a guy. - His legs went all the way up. - Yeah, Daphs. - Speaking of that sort of thing, do you remember the show "Sid the Science Kid"? - Yeah. - So there was the girl on there that wore the sweater and had the glasses and that really gets me going. And I was very excited about that. But that was on when I was already a parent of kids who were watching it. - So it almost seems too late. - And also she was a nursery school, this character. But it was more the clothing. - Right, they look. - I should quit one ahead. (laughing) - Yeah, I didn't know that I had a, I didn't understand that I was gay. And so when I would see characters on TV shows growing up, I would just think I wanted to be them. - Sure. - And so then I would go to the mall and I'd go to structure and try to recreate what Zach Morris was wearing. And you know, a yellow t-shirt under a flannel looks so cool there in the streets of whatever that high school was. Bell saved Bell School, the high school. But when I did it, I was like a fucking clown. - Yeah. - 'Cause he didn't go to save Bell School. - He didn't go to save Bell School. So we realized it's Gayle Dottry is a play on Dorothy Gayle. This whole, this film is a play on Wizard of Oz. - And yes, it is. (laughing) - But it's really, it's more like its own thing, but then it just sort of becomes kind of structurally Wizard of Oz in a fun way. - It kind of like Easter eggs, but. - It's like a big Easter egg. - Yeah. - What I like about this movie is like, the idea of this celebrity sex past, it's like a funny thing people talk about. - Right. - But if it actual life, it's not really meant to be taken literally. - Right. - And that's what the movie's about. What if somebody suddenly, both had the opportunity and the balls to actually do it. And then this guy, her fiance, actually has, meets and has sex with, and I'll spoil it, Jennifer Aniston, in the movie. And then she's distraught and she decides she's in Hollywood on a trip. And then a psychic says to her, "Hey, if you find your celebrity sex past, John Ham, "that'll even the skills and will save your relationship." And so she goes on this journey to find and have sex with John Ham. - What? (laughing) - Yeah, and it's a little like, "Hey, what's it for John Ham, you know?" - Right. - It's got sex in the end sex. But, you know, guys love sex. - Guys love sex. - So about sex for guys. - Speaking for myself. - It's sex. - Oh, so great. - Sex is their favorite. - Especially that part of the end. - What drive mind? - That part of the end. - Oh my God, that's, that's the, and that's my favorite. And then you kind of lose interest in sex for a while. - For a few minutes, yeah. - For a, yeah, it didn't go out. Must be nice. (laughing) - A few days, whatever it is. - Yeah, so you've both been making comedies long enough that you have this fan base that's like, so excited for what you're doing. And you've been making movies, like, is it, at this point, like, it's harder and harder to make a movie. - True. - Do you find that, like, you have, like, how have you found your way to navigate this sort of evolving and like increasingly convoluted system in which fewer and fewer things are being made? - I don't have any good answer for it, but I will definitely agree that, especially comedy feature films, original kind of feature films, or films are rarer and rarer and studios basically gave up on them and so all we all I ever do is just hope for the you know I write what I want to write and hope for the best. Yeah a lot of it is just kind of trying to make your friends laugh getting together trying to you know come up with an idea that's fun to do and then if you kind of make your friend laugh then maybe You have something Worth worth shooting and as far as like the landscape goes Yeah, if it ends up you know the last movie I did was it ended up on as a Netflix movie and this one Somehow got a theatrical release which I'm thrilled about because it really should be seen in a theater and and people are loving it But who knows you know and each one takes a long time and Hopefully as platforms keep changing things will evolve but people will always want to laugh So you said that you came up with the first draft of this and a concept for two more during a seven-day sprint So what's it like not having ADHD? No, that's the opposite. It is the ADHD. It is the ADHD It's because there's no other way to do it for me like if I if I give it myself a year to write a movie It's never gonna happen. If we say we lock ourselves in a room seven days like you're doing a film shoot 12 hours a day. There's nothing else to distract nothing to interrupt then we get a first draft done Sorkin said that he would lock himself in a room at the four seasons do the coke until it ran out then write till the new coke came right That's that's that was his secret. That was the story of new coke. Yeah That's how it you know he walks out and he says I think there's there's a there's at least two things in this He does a lot of walk and talk about it. What is Sorkin ever done? Really? I mean, right? Yeah, what has Sorkin ever done? Was he ever really achieved one name name three things name seven movies name 20 movies that he did well Can only name 15 How was it how did you get Jennifer Anderson and John Hamm on board? well, we were just lucky enough to have crossed paths with them at different points over the years and You know, we're so great and funny and And I know people are dying to work with us But we just basically said do you want to do this riff on your own playing yourself in a weird funny way and They were incredibly game as were many other celebrities that are in this movie So it's also about to be the 25th anniversary of wet hot American summer Is there any is there any plans for the the anniversary? Yeah, yeah, we're doing a show out here August 8th, they think right as a big outdoor screening and a concert with art We have this middle-aged dad jam band and we're doing and there's going to be the cast panel But then there's also focus features is doing a re-release They're putting it in theaters all over the country on August 14th and it's like it's going to be in something like 800 theaters at least And the original movie when it first came out was in two theaters at first and it expanded to like 10 So this is very steady. What was it step up? It's a step up. Yeah, that's more by a lot by a lot of wise it if like Well, what was your experience of the movie kind of being small having this small release and like slowly becoming a cult class? Like when did it start to feel like wow? We did it like yeah, like it didn't you know people didn't maybe know about it or it wasn't as big as we hoped it would be But it became one of those movies that like had purchased my memory of it of when it caught on was when it was released on DVD And and I don't even know if it was on Blu-ray But the DVD seemed to float around colleges and college dorm rooms and you know, and and all of a sudden it was this like cult film Which was really nice to see because at you know at first it was Not that it was incredible. Yeah, one of the we made this movie for very little Did nothing when it basically it essentially wasn't released and then so you move on and that's like that's like most indie movies and then Two three years in people are like the buzz starts building if these midnight screenings people are dressing up and Rlining up around the block and then little by little over the years by the time we did this sequel series on Netflix It was like this you know unanimously heralded cult classic. We're like, oh, I guess it is. It's crazy. It's amazing That's cool Do you think that's gonna happen to my failed TV show? Yes, it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. Hell yeah That's what I'm hearing. It's taking a long time. It's taking longer. You need patience. There's been 12 years at apps right now I think you can only get a DVD if you pay to print one Is that a bad sign you think no But the region be or something? Yeah, you got to get a printed for yourself, but you can customize it so that's kind of cool But I think that's true of any video. I'm gonna order I'm gonna order a video. I'd order it custom printed DVD of your old show Well, thanks for saying that thanks for saying it now David you were not initially excited about your first summer camp experience True, I went to this place called camp mode in in Maine and my first summer my Parents came halfway through and I begged them crying to take me home and they said no You need to stick it out and I'm so glad they did because not only did I have an incredible many years at summer camp But I made my whole career out of it as well Well, yes, it was good for commerce. You could have known that at the time. Joe, did you have it a good or a bad camp experience? I didn't go to the overnight camps. I grew up was born in New York But grew up down in South Florida and went to a sea camp, which was the only overnight camp I went to was just a weekend And they said hey, we're gonna go to this lagoon and there's gonna be some very small little lemon sharks a little nerf sharks No more than a foot or so and they were right But they didn't tell me that there was also swarms of Cassiopeia jellyfish that were also in the lagoon. It sounds like an utter nightmare. It was an utter nightmare But luckily, you know, they said it doesn't hurt too much, but they were wrong. It did hurt I would downgrad it from sea camp to D minus camp. Hey. Hey, huh. That's the type of stuff. Got him. That's that type of stuff. You're nailed Got him But anyway, yeah, speaking of camp season So there's a kid's meant to you're being here because it is the anniversary of what how to American summer the kids are and summer camp and coincidentally My sister sent me a series of letters that my nephew Had sent from camp, okay, and I'll just read one example. These are real letters. I'm gonna read them I have permission from your nephew from my nephew to to to to his mother your sister to his parents my his sister my sister his mother you get it First letter begins everything we did so far was not very good the The meals are bad staff are not that good have done nothing fun went to sleep very late because nobody would stop talking 12 a.m Oh Cryed a little today, too. Are you picking me up today Monday? If not come pick me up as soon as possible tomorrow Wednesday before lunch, please I hate camp. Let me know when you were coming love Bennett. Oh God poor Benin and Yet I can relate I understand is that can I ask is that like a weekend a couple days in I believe this was day one Yeah, that was a day one missive Now then there were ports that he was having a nice time at camp Plot thickens And we're gonna just I'll just say this will be though. We'll just jump to the final letter and I it reads I Hate it here nothing is fun come pick me up from this prison now, please. I am done giving it a chance I am done being positive. Please tell me when you were picking me up day time Monday I do not want to wait until visiting day for you to pick me up. Please Monday text the person you are talking to to make sure I am okay I'm on the brink of finding my own way out of this prison. Oh my god come pick me up as soon as possible I'm miserable having no fun and really want to leave come pick me up. Please Wow, so here's a question What did my sister do? And what would you do which is why it's time for a segment? We're calling should this miserable child suck it up Okay, I would say after the first letter a hundred percent suck it up first letter first day let it ride like I would agree with that They're all half the kids are have writing that letter after the first day second letter more complicated Second letter. I still think he's got to suck it up. Wow. I think I think you if yeah You want he wants to escape, but I think adversity is good. How old is how old is he's 11? Yeah, all right So I have a 10-year-old and you know He didn't want to go to a camp because He had a scratch on his knee and it was just a scratch and I and I said we have to we have to we have to go I've got things to do like you know scroll and stuff and so and so he ended up going and I think in hope the summer to scroll That's right you wait. I'm sorry you picked him. No, he went. I dropped him off the camp and he went and he was okay I said how was how was it and he's like it was fine my my the scratch didn't hurt and I you know I said of course it didn't hurt Perhaps the scratch was some kind of an excuse to say he didn't really want to go because he was a bit scared perhaps Perhaps I don't want to impute anything he was feeling a little lazy But that's what I'm saying man scared lazy maybe I live in that space after I just remember still no matter how bad it is It's still a place that your parents are paying for you to go and have like leisure activities it's right It can't be I mean it can be bad. It can be terrible, but I don't know so let's let here's another story This is from Halley our head writer one week into Brownie camp, which is the Brownie is the girl scout level for third grade For those who don't know a friend of mine and I had to take a flashlight out into the woods at the dead of night to the terrifying gross Unlit port of potty style outhouse my friend went first, opened the door, stepped inside, was silent, and then turned around and said, "I can't find the toilet. I laugh so hard I peed my pants," and everyone found out about it when I had to get a plastic bag from our troop leader for my pee pants. [laughter] That's a great story, but I would say also a classic, that's not a leave camp story. Yeah, you got to stay. I think that's right. You know, I just remembered, I went to a place called the Country School with Craig Weddard when I was 10 or something, and it was a farm Amish camp, and it was awful. And there was no electricity, and you had to bathe at the end of the week in four inches of dirty water that everyone else bathe in, and you just shoveled poop all day, and I hated every second of it. But I didn't even think to ask to go home. It wasn't a work camp or any type of labor camp. It felt exactly. Was it for dissidents? It was like to have the Amish experience, but we found out it was a fake Amish family that was in the trailer at night watching TV and stuff. It was, it was crazy. Honestly, that, I respect that so much. [laughter] I think that's awesome. They're selling the candles you're making. What a wreck. All right, next up, we have Jay, also on the Love or Leave a Team. He says, "When I was 11 or 12, I went to Boy Scout Camp and didn't poop for a full week due to terrible anxiety. I was a little gay boy who hated being in the woods. I called home collect every day crying. At first, they would encourage me. There's a new experience. You'll be fine. But eventually, they would answer and say, "We're not picking you up really quickly, so it wouldn't charge them for a collect call." [laughter] That is so funny. Later, I found out my mom, dad, and stepmom had met to discuss letting me come home, but decided I needed to stay and tough it out. Were they right to let this miserable child soak it up? I just was explaining to my son, "Who's that camp this summer? What did a collect call is?" Anyway, this, this guy, stick it out. Yeah, it's got this thing out. Stick it out. Finally, this is from Amy and Dallas from the friend of the pod Discord. I was electrocuted in the shower when I was at church camp in Texas in the seventies. This is the kind of shit. There was a short in the water pump and they told us to get out of the showers immediately, being the daughter of a rabid environmentalist. I had to turn the water off first. Big mistake. Next thing I knew, I was being electrocuted. My hands were stuck to the metal handle. AC, that's dangerous. That's no good. You want to get fired off like from Jurassic Park? Yeah. You want to get attached to it? Mm-hmm. That's bad. It's real bad. Fortunately, a counselor wrapped a towel around my waist and pulled me off. Ooh, I wasn't permanently injured, but I was freaked out and wanted to go home, but for some reason they wouldn't even let me call home, let alone go home. Needless to say, I stayed dirty the rest of the camp. Well, staying dirty, that's a-- I mean, I never shared it. It deserves like, you know, Navy SEAL 6, get her out of there, get in the rest of the-- Yeah, danger. Yeah, that's-- This is danger, you know? This is different. Yeah. The only caveat I'll say is I've heard stories like this and then somebody else who was there was like, actually, it was nothing like what she did. Like, she said electrocuted, but she really just like, you know, bumped her head for a second or so. I believe women. Yeah. Fair enough. Thank you, David and Joe. Catch Gail Dodger in the celebrity sex, pests, and theaters now. Go to DavidWayne.com for tickets to the middle-aged dad, jam band tour. Also, LA, get tickets to the special Wet Out American Summer 23 Union screening at streetfoodsinoa.com. And we'll be right back. Yeah. Hey, don't go anywhere, there's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. While the stigma around mental health is fading, asking for help, can feel daunting. New data from BetterHelp confirms it. BetterHelp's 2026 State of Stigma Report surveyed 2,000 Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform having served over 6 million people globally. And it works. With an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session, based on over 1.7 million client reviews. BetterHelp's therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short question here helps identify your needs and preferences. And they're 12 plus years of experience in industry-leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored wrecks. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/LoveIt. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage. There's been more comedies and get to shake a stick out. It's Rachel Harris. Come on in. Hi Rachel. Welcome. So nice to have you. Thanks for having me. It's nice to see you. This rug's a mess. I'm sorry. Yeah. But I just like that your leg just froggin' it up there. Yeah, I like to get up. I like to move around. That's, yeah. No, no. Don't change. It's never happened. But so you and Joe co-incidentally just were in a show together, right? And we were debating whether or not we were able to talk about it. We've decided we mostly can. And so it was Star Trek. Yes. You're in Star Trek together. Yeah, we did Star Trek Strange New World. And I understand that you're on Star Trek, which must be stressful just because there's a lot of lingo. And then all of a sudden, and you showed up. Yeah. You did not, it was a different scene than you expected. Yeah. So what happened? Yeah, it was the first day of shooting. And Joe and I gratefully were in the scene together, but I got to set and I looked at the call sheet and I, the scenes are very similar. Like some of them, we kind of do the same thing, but different. And so I just, I just prepared the wrong scene. And I had a thought for a moment that I thought, oh my god, I didn't prepare the right scene. And the one that I did prepare had a ton of like cool Star Trek lingo in it. That is not, I'm not used to speaking Trek, you know. So I had a moment where I thought, I, I'm just going to pretend that I know what scene I'm doing and try to learn it really quickly and I realized that was not going to be a good idea. Because of all the lingo, it's very specific. You have to know where the phasers are set to and where the power is going and where the shields are, the percentages, but she crushed it. It's crazy. But you crushed it. He's very sweet. But I can't wait to see it. The one thing that I'll say, yeah, you would get buckled up. No. The one thing I was going to say was that I had, you know, it's nice being, having worked a lot because David and I have done films together as well. And it's really great to have the great thing about having Joe there was that I knew like that I could be honest. And so I just simply said to the first AD and to the director, I said, I, you know, I didn't prepare the right scene. And they were so, I was so glad I did because they said, well, we'll move the day around and we'll give you some more time to learn it. And then Joe, who was in scene with me, who was so great and just sat there and ran it and ran it. But it was all so great because he was really like, I'd be shooting my pants right now, too. You know, so it was. You know what, though? It just, it's a lesson that if you just ask for help sometimes, people want to be nice. Yeah. We're not allowed to get each other. They weren't angry. But yeah. Well, yeah, that's true. I think you're, and that's on a bigger scale. Well, macro level. Yeah. I feel like this is clever to leave it. We want to talk about big things. Yeah. We got to talk about big things. So you've been in three Christopher Gas movies. You're in Best and Show. I'm mighty wind. And for your consideration, you, how is it, what's it, how is preparing for those movies different than, say, preparing a lot of jargon for Star Trek? Oh, well, just that. Just like the memorization of the scenes is really is, that's the hardest part for me. But the difference, though, with doing, like, doing a film where you're improvising is, you have the bullet points, but then the pressure is always on you to be funny. And the curse of death is trying to be funny, right? So you just have to come prepared, know what your point of view is, and then hope for the best, and just listen and respond, honestly, in character. And I, I, I, I mean, I love it. It's just, you need to listen and do your part. But I mean, also, you are uniquely one of the greats at that, like, not everybody can do that. Well, that's very sweet. And he's right. No, he's right. 100%. He's totally right. No. Do you, are there people that have been, like, intimidating to do those kinds of scenes with, people that are, or that, like, you felt, like, nervous about because they were such legends, or who, and then, like, what was that like? Oh, yeah. No, I remember doing for your consideration, every time I say it, I get choked up. Getting to work with Catherine O'Hara was so amazing. She was just so kind, and everything you'd want her to be. And we shared a dressing room. And there was, like, an accordion door that we could have closed. It was, like, first of all, we didn't really have dressing rooms. We had, like, honey wagons, and then we all hung out in one big green room. But I was never nervous with Catherine, though. Catherine was always like, you know exactly what you're doing, and it'll be fun. But the one person, when Ricky Gervase was just first coming up, he was in for your consideration. And I remember just wanting to, like, say one line to him in, like, a big group scene. And I couldn't. Why? Because I I loved him in the office so much and I just thought it was I love British humor so much and that form of comedy I think it's so You know underplayed and fantastic and And I just that was you I mean you ask if there's someone that I was Feeling a little in secure and then he was a big one and then then we did a film together. We did night at the museum together and And became really good friends and that was really lovely I was gonna make a joke about how and you know like Joe. He's famously nice Ricky Jervais. Yeah Yeah, like Joe the Chuglia. They're very they're kind of like sort of you're the kind of American Ricky Jervais or personality Culturally personality wise. That's the neat. That's the niche. That's my niche. Yeah, like nice guy kind of say Yeah, same kind of energy two nice guys nice guys But I also think when you're working with your peers you also When I make your peers laugh, you know, you want to be funny and and effortless and And and David's directed me and party down. Do you remember you directed that? That was really great Yeah, and he was so wonderful in that but also that was like whenever you're coming on to like a set and you Are in a regular on the show, but you're a guest on the show. That's I think when it's kind of scary when you want to do really well And it's nice that you know People like David and Joe and everybody or you know, it's it's really fun when you have like friends that you to work with When you're doing Star Trek, do they make you say it exactly as it is on the page? They were pretty tight. Yeah, you're pretty tight with They weren't Aaron Sorkin. No, no, no, no, no, it wasn't Arthur Miller, but you know it was right, right, but it was You could put some handles on there. You could be like oh, oh Yeah, you can't really know we did a lot of gesticulating. Yeah But with the scene in particular that I didn't know my that I was struggling with my lines. I really didn't know my lines and I Ethan Peck plays Spock and he's so you know emotionless What are they fire Leonard Nimoy? They weren't with somebody younger Hollywood this fucking town. This is this town They did but he he felt so bad because every time I would fuck up member He was so stoic and he would say I'm so sorry. I can't like we'd break and you go. I'm so sorry. You're dying He's like I can't give you like any emotion to like look at you and be like because of the character Yeah, yeah, you should say you're half-human Give me half of what you got. Sorry Spock famously is a a roiling cauldron of deep and A enormous emotion just beneath the frozen. Yeah It's serious. Yeah, it's actually yeah, it's a deep conflict inside of the character as you tell him that you're also on a daily show I was and famously Stephen Colbert said that one aspect of being a correspondent of the daily show is leaving your soul behind Yeah, did you do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was hard because I I grew up in Ohio and the daily show then was like it wasn't as I want to say cuz it was early 2000s. It wasn't as Like the the two political parties weren't as polarizing George W. Bush was in office. It seemed beloved beloved It just wasn't as I mean well that's I remember I was flying across the country on assignment doing a field piece When they started the war and they were like you're in the air and they've just started a war and it was kind of scary Yeah, then things got tense things got real tense, but But they weren't necessarily going after it wasn't Republicans that they were going after they were it was more just like people that were People that were very self-righteous and yeah, we were calling them out, you know taking the piss out of that and I loved doing it But at the same time sometimes people just didn't really understand what we were doing And I felt terrible like it was like leading them into a trap and I famously once I finished when I left the day with the daily show I went to do star scan hutch and I was so excited to be in the spend stiller Owen Wilson movie and I Just come off the daily show and there was a really famous actor sitting in the makeup chair next to me And I said, oh, yeah, I just came off the daily show and he goes, yeah, I Used to like the daily show. I think their humor is really mean and I was like, huh? He goes, yeah, it's really really self-righteous and mean and I I was so proud to have been on the daily show and He goes, yeah, I didn't like it. I don't like it now that John Stewart's the host and John has only been the host for I'm not kidding. Maybe like a year. It's so rare to meet the like Craig Kilborn diehards It's like it's a Craig Kilborn diehards. I know I was a correspondent on the Craig Kilborn pre-junctive Where are you really? But it was it was way there They were still figuring out the format and I was doing like funny fake Segments from Maplewood New Jersey the Maplewood Minute as if it was like Hollywood because I was such a nerd I watched all I watched the whole thing like when I was in high school I watched the crowd killborn daily show and it would some it would rear During the day the next day. I believe on Comedy Central And I would watch it and then I remember I was actually I was upset when it was Going to be switching to John Stewart just not I know ill thoughts about John Stewart I just really like Craig Kilborn, right? And then I remember the first episode of the John Stewart show where they retired the Fire five questions at the end for three two run because that left and went with Craig Kilborn to the other Net when you went to CBS. I believe yeah, huh? That was a really low. Yeah. Yeah, no, but I I I loved my time on the daily show. It was so fun because it was it was obviously John And my addition for that I don't want to like hijack everything But my addition for that was it was you know that the daily shows heavily scripted, you know, and when you do your correspondence piece But I didn't know that when I auditioned because I was coming from an improv background So I thought oh, I've got to make this mine and so I rewrote everything like in my voice and at the end of it John I finished my audition and and I hear John Stewart going well. She's fired and And I was like I was thanks to thanks so much and then they called me said I had the job So it turned out you did do the right thing. Yeah, I did do the right thing. Nobody's gonna work. Nobody's gonna. Nobody can out Rachel Harris Rachel Harris. We'll be right back Hey, don't go anywhere. 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I have great sweats from their sheets from their sweaters from their poles from there and great bags This is a great company make your summer wardrobe easier go to quince.com slash love it for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada to that's qunc e.com slash love it for free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash love it Amber back It's time to take out a loverly the classic that's right. It's time for the rat wheel Here's how it works. We're gonna spin the wheel It'll land on one of our four faces and that person has one minute on the clock to rant against that person plays her thing of their choosing Are you ready? Oh boy. I don't know I can give you one of my options if you want people who are different than Okay, here we just jump right in jump listen. I think AMC theaters promos with Nicole Kendrick. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you've seen them a lot. All right I know why I go to the movies. It's for the magic. Sure. Yes, it's to laugh and to cry Sure, I know the indescribable feeling when the lights dim, but We're done with it now. It's like a rocky hara picture show and again, and let me just add I love Nicole Kidman. This has nothing to do with Nicole great actress and has nothing with AMC theaters that are supporting our Movie it's just a matter of like let's rotate people. Let's this isn't a pop hit. Let's move it along. We get it I like it so important and I'm glad you took a moment inside of that I still got to go all right We'll look listen also they open with it with it in the rain, you know Like as if we only go to the movies when it's raining come on guys we go to the movies because we love the movies It doesn't matter about the weather get in there and go see a perfect story because you can Yeah Pretty good Beautifully said I I appreciate it how midway through you took a moment to make sure you complimented Nicole Kidman so that she would Turn the key and close the box with the red button on it So you're safe again. That was that was beautiful and I agree I agree I liked it. They did shorten it There's a cut down version now. Well, they keep they do different As it is I agree that it's it's as if they've only could shoot one promo for 10 years right they have to keep cutting it up in different ways and it's like they could get a little more size maybe it's a big payday they want to kind of spread it out maybe they know it was a it was like a meme and a zeitgeist yeah and that's a lightning in a bottle thing you know you're not gonna you know the next one is like I don't know who it's gonna be walking down the stairs but it's like a kind of nobody wants that that's a tough job you know like that let's do another one yeah you know what Joe said I wonder how I'll do it they said they're looking for a Ricky base type I wonder how much they offered it to do another one yeah somehow hot break seems what it here seems less harmful or what is it seems hot break seems heartbreak good heartbreak feels like this heartbreak feels that what it is but also I wonder if she was asking her apps like did I give them permission to use that forever like I thought that was like for during the pandemic for like a few weeks they would run that and also heartbreak never feels good anywhere it doesn't look like this you're right you're right it's heartbreak it hurts it's called heart breaking for a reason right let's spin it again okay I would like to and kind of keeping on theme I guess because he just talked about theaters I would like to rant about the fact that um film we all like to go to see films right but what I think we're tired of is seeing the exact same actors in every single big film right and I think I didn't realize that was gonna get in a plus break but for me and the example I use all the time is that the hangover this film that I did with at the time people didn't really know the biggest actor in the film I think was was Jeffrey um boy I love it oh no Timber Jeffrey Tambor he was one of the biggest actors in it and it was a little known Ed Helms a little known Zach Elephanakis and Bradley Cooper and I think that's what made that film so great was that nobody really knew those guys they took a risk on them we liked going on the journey with them because we hadn't seen them so much before and my time's up I think it's well I feel that way often when they're they're all announced some like new animated movie and those you'll see the cast you're like what why do you need super hot people for this right things not easy enough for the hottest human beings in the history of humankind and the richest the richest hottest people in our community they're also getting the voice actor work like why like is there any it's all by the way it's like evident it's like it's so they can do the promotion cycle for the thing but it's like what about the voice actors that have those great voice actor voices you know like I don't need Jason Mamoah to be flounder in the little mayor me you know what I mean Jason Mamoah is flounder why come on let's spin it again oh my goodness my thing is when people I don't think people need to come up to you at a social event and say do you know who I am do you remember me I bothers me so much because there's what are you gonna get out of it because if I don't know who you are then it's just awkward for both of us we both feel bad so what's the point and I personally feel like people should just wear name tags always that to be mandated I agree with your name and bullet points about who you are but at least it's short of that at least you go up to somebody it's anywhere unless it's your spouse you should just be like hey oh David Wayne I'm a filmmaker we met at the guy at Joe's house and we were talking about bagels and we had a fun time that it was like a year ago and then before I even had a chance to speak now and when I said you remember me like of course I do and whether it's true or not where everybody's happy yeah that's right well I find that like there's the like sometimes you'll say like you'll introduce yourself and they'll say we've met and it's like okay a fine but like I'm just I fuck you maybe I reckon like maybe I thought we met maybe I'm not sure if you remembered me yeah right like it's not insulting to introduce someone to someone that that you've already met also like all of our brains are fried everyone is distracted and a lot of people are bad of names and faces like myself so let's give it a break we're all hurtling through on a rock through space give us a break just for my mind we're doing pretty well Lindsey Lindsey Graham is dead yeah nothing is promised let's spin it again I wonder who I'm here here I hope it's me again it is landed on me and interestingly enough my new headshot all right okay my ranch is about swastik is in the wild sure so I went to an incredible restaurant one of the best restaurants in Los Angeles is called bistro na it's in the San Gabriel Valley if call a week ahead you could get a paking duck and it's amazing food I've been before some of the best Chinese food you will ever get but we're sitting at the table and then we notice that there's this trim throughout the restaurant can we zoom in can you see that in a trim I didn't take a photo I was there so these are from Yelp there are these swastikas everywhere everywhere on every wall in the restaurant and it's just on the line I think it's on the wrong side of the line but it's just on the line of like hmm did you know what the fuck come on are we catching this you see what I mean once you see it that's all you're seeing that's all you're seeing and then all of a sudden okay you're at a restaurant with your parents on the last day of the visit and now the topic of anti-semitism is on the table and it's gonna be a top fucking dinner because then it's about Bernie Sanders hating the Jews and it's like what all right that's the rant we'll we'll be right back and we're back and now it's time to close out the show with a segment we call second thoughts here's how it works I thought this one great but my producers have handed me a list of things they wish I hadn't said or done first regret too many Lindsey Graham gay jokes are not enough it's kind of our last chance I don't even think of that these were our last ones well people don't make Reagan jokes yeah right I mean not very successful right right like if like if like six months from now I'm like boy Lindsey Graham boy he loved guzzlin come huh yes it's not gonna play as well I don't think it won't work as well yeah I don't think it'll work as well just that on its own killed yeah I did the talk about Chihuahua's accent kind of I we talked no we talked about it and we felt we felt legally I could get away with I had to say Yokeiro with the accent if I said Yokeiro Gatorade and Saltine's that's not funny but I had to say that Yokeiro if I did that then I could just say Gatorade and Saltine's I felt like we were in the clear I think we were we were okay sort of you know with the with with the internet I think we'll see what happens I'm not loving the reaction well I yeah I would get canceled because I thought it was very funny yeah yeah great I mean like and I I'll take the side of was very offended thank you thank you thank you for holding me accountable I laughed harder than the audience at the joke about the guitarries spy being heard in Trump's bathroom that worked for me and that's okay I love how your producers are sitting there thinking of things that you did wrong so one one thing that they that the producers believe that David and Joe did wrong is that you need to have a ready or better a better ready answer for celebrity success it's so funny we we have been asked that I 300 times I know and as I was as the words were leaving my mouth I'm like John shut the fuck up what are you doing it's a fair question yes yes but why why am I why am you in the spot bucket oh yeah but I was like that's creepy too I was like who would have been I have answered that several times in during our press tour that we with the answer Ed Koch that's good see that's good and I could have just done that again I had a good so I have regrets okay let's see I tried to shoehorn my failed sitcom into the wet hot American summer conference I was supportive of that I was supportive of that too any second thoughts you'd like to add I stand by my words wow yeah brave given what you've said given the thing you the the one thing you said that you're not even remembering that I fucking but I believe from your you should just have a blind spot and you said it I said blind spot ableist so now I'm done well I guess I'm gonna have a little surprise on the on the on the review and then yeah so I think I think we're good I think we're good David nothing I feel great about everything that's happened tonight today I think this has been a great audience by the way a great maybe it's not funny to say it but it happens to be how I feel people could get last for taking things down you suck and we know I'm sorry it's not how I feel yeah yeah I feel joy right now are you can I ask you about this regret that you may not know about only first walked in David said oh I overdressed no do you feel like you've overdressed now now I feel fine yeah sure I wonder it's one regret I feel a little bit actually what I don't know if I enough really explained the incredible reviews that our movie Dale Dottry and the celebrity sex pass has gotten getting incredible reviews not just critics but like audiences of all different types are having this like amazing experience going and laughing so hard like more than they have in years they keep saying and I feel like I didn't underline that enough or or explain that if you go to gale.tree.com - You go to actually.com. - The tickets for wherever it's near by you to see it. - Yeah, they say that that basically the second leading cause of diarrhea is people laughing too hard at this movie. Yeah, right now, and it would be in first, but for this unusual parasitic year. It would have actually been diarrhea number one. Okay, and that's our show. (laughs) Thank you so much for Rachel Harris, David Wayne, and Joe Luchulio, there are 111 days, until the midterms will be out Friday with Desbishop and Carmen Christopher, have a great night. (audience cheers) - Love and Relief, it is a crooked media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, film a graph, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Love. Our production team includes Halikipa, Sarah Lazarus, Roman Borcellino, Peter Miller, David Toll's, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGro. And our staff is proudly unionized with the writer's guild of America East. (upbeat music)