The Mitch Is Back 2: Mitch On Wheels

♪ Love it or leave it, it's love it or leave it. Stretch your tie. Love it or leave it, it's love it or leave it. ♪ What's up Los Angeles? Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live from Hollywood. I'm John Lovett, and let's get into it. What a week. Over the weekend, Anthropic CEO Dario Amadai published a 3,800-word essay calling for the AI industry to slow down, warning of the danger of what's known as recursive self-improvement, in which AI models train and improve new AI models, which may leave humans unable to control or even understand these systems. In independent intelligence, we can't control or understand? Sounds like AI is at risk of becoming my wife. Sam Altman, the CEO of OpenAI, and Elon Musk, the saddest, richest man in the world, echoed Amadai's concerns, kicking off a debate over regulation. However, House Speaker Mike Johnson doesn't want Congress, which has so far done nothing, to do too much. But the problem is, I'm telling you again, the guys who are raising the alarms right now all have very different ideas on what the guardrails should be. There's no consensus among them, and Congress is obviously less qualified than the people who are pushing this frontier to know all the ins and outs of it. Awesome leadership. And there's no consensus among them, and Congress is obviously less qualified than the people who are pushing this frontier to know all the ins and outs of it. Also, that's an argument against any safeguards for any industry. You don't have to understand why dough rises to know that it's bad when there's glass in the fucking bread. Meanwhile, some would rather dismiss all of these warnings as some kind of psy-op. On the left, that's to avoid facing how powerful AI can be by viewing this as some marketing ploy. But this isn't like when they killed Mr. Peanut in 2020 to sell more peanuts. This would be more like if Mr. Peanut wrote an essay saying that peanuts could kill us all. Sure, we'd definitely be talking about peanuts, but not in a good way. Meanwhile, on the right, the claim is that this hyperbolic language is meant to scare the government into creating regulations that will reward more established firms, which can then afford the compliance costs. And this isn't just a fringe theory. Here's Vice President Jelly Deli Vance. I have to say, just personally, I feel a little bit weird about the fact that you have so many frontier AI tech companies kind of coming to the government and begging the government to regulate them. It feels a little bit to me like a bit of a Trojan horse. It's exactly like the Trojan horse. If the Greeks who built the Trojan horse ran to Troy screaming, watch out for that horse, there could be some guys with swords in there. Meanwhile, President Trump isn't losing any sleep over the impending AI threat. He's losing sleep because his CPAP machine is broken after he tried to put Diet Coke in the reservoir. Here's our big golfing boy. We're leading China in AI. We're the most sophisticated country in the world. And frankly, I want to keep it that way because whoever wins, AI wins. Yes, whoever wins, AI wins and then dies. Dies a winner. Later on Air Force One, the leader of the most sophisticated country in the world was asked about his own AI use. Have you ever used it yourself or have you been? How do you use AI? But I would say, you know, for the most part, you can use AI for a lot of things. What do you use it for? I don't know. I had a Trump. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go task codex to build a model for solar adoption by latitude, giving decreasing material costs so that I'm ready for my meeting on permitting reform in the morning. I'm just kidding. I'm going to make a video where I have huge muscles and eat James Tallarico like a candy apple. Thank you. On Monday, Trump took to social media to further detail his argument, posting, quote, the only controller guardrails that AI needs is a strong and smart, high IQ president. And the USA has that in spades. And this just in humanity has fallen. Let's take a moment to honor 50,000 wonderful years of being the dominant species on the planet. The cave paintings of Sulawesi, the Great Pyramids of Giza. Mr. Bean. The end wrote Trump in another post, quote, I am the hoax buster and I'm right now breaking another hoax that AI is going to take over, consume and destroy the world and that robots will be marching into our cities and getting rid of us all, which is, of course, absurd. Robots won't march into our cities. They're terrifying. Quantum technology will allow them to teleport directly into the bathroom while we're pooping. In corrupt wedding news, ProPublica reported on Monday that Donald Trump Junior's May wedding in the Bahamas was secretly paid for by Russian oligarch Umar Kremlev. And let me just say, as someone who got married the same weekend as Don Junior, I should have thought of that. According to ProPublica, Kremlev spent hundreds of thousands of dollars renting out a private island for the weekend, in addition to footing the bill for a fireworks show and lending out his team to plan the event. But that's Russian oligarch Umar Kremlev. He loves love. And it was all pretty casual. The after party was KGBYOB. Kremlev is an associate of Russian President Vladimir Putin and the head of the International Boxing Association, a shady sports group financed by Russia's state owned energy company Gazprom. In 2023, the International Boxing Association was stripped of its role organizing Olympic boxing due to its refusal to, quote, "transparently explain the sourcing of its financing." I'm sorry, I'm having trouble understanding your questions about corruption, Mr. Olympics man. Would you mind saying it a bit closer to open the window? Don Junior is reportedly worth hundreds of millions of dollars. His family has made billions in just the past few years by monetizing the presidency. Why would he want a Russian mogul to front a few hundred thousand dollars for his wedding? I mean, I get that he has to save up for the third wedding, but still. On Monday, Don Junior's bride Bettina posted a statement from the pair defending the Russians largesse, writing in an Instagram post, quote, "It was an extraordinarily generous wedding gift from a friend and something for which we were and remain incredibly grateful. Friendship doesn't require a political motive. Generosity doesn't automatically come with an agenda, and sometimes a wedding gift is simply a wedding gift." Concluded Bettina, "Alexei Navalny killed himself." Bettina also posted wedding photos with the statement, which, of course, interested me greatly as someone who, as I said, just planned a wedding. And I was struck in particular by this photo. It is a personalized cocktail napkin with a beautiful quote, "We loved with a love that was more than love," by Edgar Allan Poe. And when I saw this, something went off in my brain a little because, like, I don't know. You don't think Edgar Allan Poe is like the wedding poem guy, right? But the line does appear on lists like the 52 most romantic quotes of all time from books, poetry, and plays. But sure enough, the actual poem, Annabel Lee, is about a child bride who's great. You knew the poem once I said the poem, but you know, no, it's you can now imagine. So you know what I'm talking about to say. Annabel Lee is the poem, and it is about a child bride whose grave he visits, and many believe it is inspired by Poe's own marriage to his first cousin, which took place when he was 27 and she was 13 before she died of tuberculosis, which must have been a welcome relief from having to fuck your old cousin who was constantly asking to read you his creepy poems. Quote the raven, "blech." Nevermore. Can you believe that? This is why you can't just Google a fucking brainy quote and have somebody say it at your wedding. You got to do the research. You got to look into find a nice one, right? In my favorite part of this story, Don Junior's esthetician also posted about the wedding, specifically naming the procedures that the bride and groom got before the event, and I am not judging. I can't because I got some of the same treatments for my wedding. That's real. Pure Skin Palm Beach wrote of Don Junior's face, quote, "It was also a pleasure getting to know Don and helping him prepare for the big day with customized therapy treatments to naturally define his jawline. Sadly, that esthetician has since died in a freak accident in which he was thrown out of the window by a Russian guy." And you know what that sound means? It's time for a bestiality update. You may remember in August when we learned that the FBI had loosened its hiring policies, no longer automatically rejecting applicants who had committed theft, prostitutes or participated in bestiality. And so ironically, FBI Director Kash Patel headed to the Hill to be barked at by a bunch of senators. Here's an exchange with Louisiana's John Kennedy. What about the bestiality? Tell me what it said before. It automatically disqualified any individual who participated on either side of it. Obviously, we are never going to hire the criminal side of what the bestiality. Yes. So you disqualified the animal? Well, I don't think we have great canines, but we're not going to disqualify. I understand. You do? I don't. Either side of it. Either side of it. Is there a problem with people blaming the victims when it comes to bestiality? Have people been commenting "slut" under Lassie's IG posts? Now, in fairness, Kash Patel is saying something quite grim, which is that people who have been victims of human trafficking may have been forced to engage in bestiality and try to join the FBI. And my feeling is, if that's you, you've been through enough. Forget about the FBI. Teach yoga. Become a magician. Rent jet skis by the water. Take it easy. If that happened to you, take it easy. and that's been the bestiality update on monday kentucky senator and living man mitch mcconnell returned to the senate for the first time since his hospitalization in june and he looked great the embalmers did a beautiful job here's mcconnell leaving his home in the first proof of life video we've seen during his three month absence are you feeling good mitch looks good give us a thumbs up cut him some slack his staff is still figuring out which strings control which parts of his body and finally during a high rocks fitness competition in china an australian athlete experienced bowel incontinence or shit herself and was allowed to finish the race this is why high rocks events should not include an oyster eating contest the athlete you , joanna wetrick nevertheless came in just behind the winner writing in a now deleted selfie go hard or go home a win is a win yes wetrick finished number two in the race and she took home second place hey joanna i've got a motto for you go hard or go bathroom many pointed out or continuing in a competition in which the athletes all share equipment was unsanitary disgusting and perhaps unfair to the other competitors in response to the backlash high rocks wrote in a statement we ask our athletes to push themselves to the highest levels. At times, they will go beyond what even we thought possible. That courage, resilience, and refusal to give in are precisely what makes elite athletes so extraordinary. She pooped your pants. She didn't land on the moon. Do I get a medal too, asked Senator Mitch McConnell. As the backlash rose, High Rocks co-founder Moritz Furtz issued a more explicit apology, writing, I apologize to all that were directly or indirectly affected as well as to everyone who felt like we did not handle the situation like we should have. High Rocks made a mistake by not reacting immediately during the race. Furtz continued, I regret not standing up and saying, hey, stop doing that. Cut that out. Furtz has said that he was surprised by the outpouring and also that he heard from a lot of people. And when asked if anything could have prevented this grotesque incident, Furtz has said, depends. All right, we've got a great show for you tonight, and we'll be right back with Ms. Pat. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. This episode is presented by Planned Parenthood Federation of America. So in case you missed it, some public officials are still very committed to the deeply unpopular idea that they and not you and your doctor should make healthcare decisions for you. Their latest move, the Trump administration is going after a little-known program called Title X, the only federal program devoted solely to funding care like birth control, cancer screenings, STI testing, and treatment, and more for uninsured, underinsured, and low-income people. So if you're interested in and low-income people, this is yet another attempt to make it harder for people to get the care they need at Planned Parenthood health centers. Title X was not controversial at its inception. It was created with bipartisan support in 1970. Planned Parenthood health centers have been key providers of medically appropriate quality care through the program. 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We stepped out, we stepped back in. Now they're on a little remote and you can just move them up and down with the remote. It's awesome. Right now, Blinds.com is giving our listeners an exclusive $50 off. When you spend $500 or more, just use code LOVET at checkout. Limited time offer, rules and restrictions apply. See Blinds.com for details. And we're back! Ms. Pat will join in just a moment. But first, check out Still Counting. It is the new podcast from Nate Silver, Claire Malone, and Galen Druke from FiveThirtyEight. Nonpartisan data journalists are going to take you through what's happening, why, and what might happen next. Every Wednesday evening, they'll break down the latest polling, explain what the numbers actually mean, and where public opinion stands. New episodes out right now. Subscribe to Still Counting wherever you get your podcasts. And if you're in LA, you can still get tickets to this show at crooked.com. We've got some great guests coming up. The very funny Michelle Collins, comedian Lisa Gilroy, and Broadway star Laura Benanti. All right, please welcome to the stage, the hardest working woman in show business, streaming, and YouTube, it's Ms. Pat! Good to see you again. Good to see you again, too. Come join. Now, first of all, thank you for making the time to be here, because you do too much. Sofa too damn low. We've got to work on the sofa. I'm sorry. When you invite old people, you've got to have this. Now, how am I going to get out of here? Your little ass can't pull me out this hole out of the city. Well, that'll be a problem we'll deal with later. Okay. But make sure you bring two strong men, because I'm going to need some help up out of this shit. You could have said one more strong man. It was free to say one more strong man. You're not big enough to pull me up. I do. Listen, I don't look like much, but I do a lot of Pilates. Pilates don't mean shit picking up a big black woman. I need somebody to do weights. I don't know who scratched their ass. I don't know. I think there's something to be said for functional movements. You get a big strong guy, all of a sudden he's hurting his back, you know? Now, your show was nominated for its fourth Emmy this season. Yeah, we lost last night. Yeah. But you were nominated. Yes. That's cool. I don't care nothing about awards. I care if the check clear. But the people that write the checks care about the nominations. Well, that's their problem. I did the job. If they get the trophy, as long as the check clear. Well, I am thankful. That's our fourth nomination, and this is our sixth season. I mean, I'm just not a trophy chaser. I am. I need it. You do? And, you know, the Webby's aren't the same, but, you know, I've gotten them, and it doesn't do anything for me. So I need better awards. What do you want to win? Really anything. Any acclaim would help. Oh, okay. I'm sorry you need somebody to tell you you're great, but keep going. So you host the Miss. So there's the Miss Patrick. Yes. You host Miss Pat Settles It. Yes. And Whisking It All. Uh-huh, and I have a new show called America's Funniest People, and it's coming out in October on VH1. That's cool. Thank you. Thank you. Now, have you considered sharing some of your many jobs in Hollywood with those in need? I do it every time I go home. I have seven crack babies. So every check, white people, you can laugh. This is not the 90s. This shit is funny. There's no shame here. So every time I get paid, I tell. I take care of my nieces and nephews, whose parents smoke crack. So every time I get a job, I'm taking care of somebody's crack baby. Beautiful. I said y'all can laugh. Don't stare at me. Don't stare, Miss Pat. Do not feel sorry. If you're feeling sorry, write me a check and we can cry together. Now, your show on BET, you had an episode. BET Plus. BET Plus. Now, it's on Paramount. And that's on Paramount. Yes. You had an episode about a woman hiding from ICE. Yes. And it was a bit of a process to get that episode. It was. What happened? Well, the merger came and they said, fuck no. Everybody's scared of, you know, of the people who own Paramount. And they just didn't. At first, they approved it. Then when the merger went over, they was like, no, this is going to be too controversial. And then we're going to get shit down. And we just fought for it. And we was, you know, because that's what. That's the shit I stand for. You know, nobody should be dragging nobody out of this country. This is a stolen country. And we should be living in this bitch together. By now, we should be able to get along. But for some reasons, people don't want us to get along. And we wanted to do an episode about ICE, and we did it. And it was hard, but it was so touching. So many people reached out and was like, they were so happy about us being bold about it. Because in the episode, my son was a teacher, and he brings home a Hispanic kid whose parents just got caught by ICE, and we was there to protect him until his aunt got there. And so it just so happened the president was in his town. Well, McDonald's opened it. Because he liked McDonald's. And to make a long story short, the Secret Service came by the house. Which was a very funny episode, and it was very touching. Do you think the merger causing people to be worried about the episode, do you think that was coming from the higher-ups? Or was people afraid of the new higher-ups trying to stay out? Was it people afraid of what the new world would be like? Or do you think it was actually coming from the top? I just think people were just afraid of the administration. So I just think, you know, when you get to talking about stuff, that they want to make act like it don't exist in this world people are just scared i mean look they go on the internet you say bad things about the president you get a knock at the door you usually can say the president shit himself and bam you get a knock at the door why did you say the president shit himself because he be shitting himself you know what this is this is a free country we supposed to be able to say and say what the hell we want to say you know other than the n-word that's the only thing to get your ass whipped other than that we can talk about everybody right for sure we supposed to be but now people are walking on eggshell not me i don't give a fuck but you know so you have a second book coming out miss american dream yes it's about your path from dropping out of eighth grade raising two children at 15 to who you became is your current life one you were aiming for or was it unimaginable it was unimaginable i mean you i you i would i tell my kids all the time you couldn't have told me i'm 54 now you couldn't have told me 30 years ago this is how i was going to be living i was going to be in entertainment with four shows and four emmy nomination and i'm creating other things i did not see this i mean and society didn't see it for me either i mean i grew up in a crack infested neighborhood i had two kids by the time i was 14 got shot a couple times went to prison you know where i come from that's that was the american dream for the african-american community wasn't supposed to move up and believe it or not that's what the community was and that's how i grew up but i think i wanted more and i think it became from i wasn't i used to love tv so i used to watch leave it to be even and it braided a bunch and good time was on but i was sick of them black people eating oatmeal i was like i'm do not be scared to fucking laugh you can laugh and i was like i'm sick of these motherfucking black people eating oatmeal i don't want to see this shit i'm living this shit i said why the fuck beaver got a sandwich every time he get off that school bus i want this white shit over here so when i was a little girl i had a jerry curl but we was poor so we only had activator activator is the stuff that we put it on how to keep it shiny we could only get it once a month so once we ran out our jerry curl was just dried the fuck up so i was sick of the dry jerry curl and i said i just want to be white because white people get a sandwich when they get out the bus and they fucking mama ain't drunk you know because this is the this is the american dream they sold me so i'm thinking white people didn't have no fucking problem so i would tie a tie around my head and say i'm fucking white and then i grew up and realized we all the fucking same people and the difference between me and you is y'all get wrinkles before me and so i said i want to be black so i went back to being black were there moments where like did you know you were special like did you know you had like because you know i think you can there i think you can judge a society not like it's not necessarily best to judge a society by can someone with extraordinary talents right emerge from a place with a lot of struggle right you what you want to know is can somebody get get out of a bad situation or poverty without being extraordinary just by working hard and doing their best but you had real and extraordinary talents did you feel at the time i didn't have talent when i i had a talent but i didn't realize i tell you i had a baby at 14 years old by a 22 year old married man and once i gave birth to that baby by this time i had already been molested i had already been shot i had already been beaten down i had been to the bottom and i just remember having that baby august 9th 1986 and i said excuse my friend these niggas ain't sticking their fingers in your ass so i'm gonna protect you and that's what made me say i gotta survive because it wasn't about i could go hungry because i was a little black kid here in the ghetto but when i gave birth to that baby we all as a woman we all have something in us called motherly instinct and no matter how old you are when you give birth that instinct instantly turns on for some people should for most and that turned on for me and i knew i had to survive and i just said i gotta get a better life you know i always wanted a better life but i was like i cannot let my baby go hungry i cannot let these people molest my child i cannot let these people beat my child and nobody can stop me i cannot let these people beat my child and nobody can stop me i cannot let these people beat my child and nobody can stop me graduated in my family so i just i remember holding my baby on august 9th 1986 and i said we're gonna break this cycle uh and it's cursed that we in i said you're gonna graduate high school i wasn't even thinking about college i just said i want you to graduate high school i know if i can get you down there out of graduate high school you would do something that i never was able to do and so that turned on and and then i went to selling drugs and forging checks and then i got back on track and got married and i thank god you know i'm not gonna i'm a big democrat and i voted for bill clinton not because i'm a democrat because he was cute as fuck bill clinton was so goddamn cute i was like oh my god i'm gonna vote for this this cute white man who can blow the horn so i go and i vote for bill clinton and he pissed me the fuck out bill clinton literally turned around the next year after he got elected and he betrayed the black community he started the welfare to work program so i had to go get a job and i was so mad i was so pissed at bill clinton it was the best thing ever because he made me get off my ass and he said you're not gonna get these free benefits you go get your ged and become some so i got my ged and i wanted to become a a nurse because i love helping people and he's like you can't be no nurse because you're convicted felon and all these drug charges and i was like oh now here i am with a ged and a grade education and i still no matter what in this society i can't be i had a gas station i got five from a gas station but i went into this caseworker and i would just tell these horrible story because i wanted them to feel sorry for me and so i was like oh my god my granddaddy hung us one time and she was like hung y'all so yeah we stole my auntie food stamp she was like how did he hang y'all so my granddad would do the practice hanging because don't get scared just listen to the story so he one time we stole my aunt food stamp and he threw the rope up in the little shotgun ceiling we lived in the house and he put my cousin in the chair he said which one you motherfuckers stole the food stamp we had stole the food stamp so we can go cash to you know buy a piece of candy get the change and play pac man and i we had promised we was not gonna tell when my granddaddy put that rope around my cousin and move that chair to me it was 15 minutes it probably was only two seconds and my cousin swung around i said granddaddy my brother stole them goddamn food stamp and i was like oh never again would i ever steal anything else and so i just i don't know i just i don't fucking forget where the fuck i was going did anyone go boy you're funny at some point like when did that happen i told the caseworker that story and she bust out laughing that's where the fuck i was going i got menopause and brain fraud and she thought it was so funny i'm like bitch you're supposed to be crying so i can get more free shit and so the caseworker was like let me ask you something she said you're trying to go to school to be a nurse but you're gonna have to be a medical assistant because you gotta come you know and i was like no she's like you're fucking funny and she would block off my time to report you know i had to report like every other month at the time and so she would block off my time i would just tell her story she said you should really look into it so i went and got on stage and now i'm like 24 years in have you did did you ever reconnect with that casework all the time i bought her car i call her my mom she never left my side she's still in my life i'd be like i don't want to talk to you today but i talk to her all the time but was that and did she see something other people didn't see or because here's the thing i find it hard to believe that no matter what was going on in your life that you weren't just funny all the time i was funny well see i didn't see it as funny i saw that straightforward i saw myself as i would say shit you was too scared to say so if you was getting fucked with i'd be like look here get the fuck out his face so i was that type of person if if i saw something in the room that needed to be said i would say it i'm never scared and i'm just like that man hollywood you know when you go on set people be walking on eggshells you don't walk on eggshell in my on my set i don't separate the stars even though i'm the star of the show from the other people you know people eat first and last no we fucking eat together we are people we're human beings why are you separating us that's why i don't like shooting the show in hollywood so you know i'm quite sure she saw something in me but i didn't see it at the end yes i do why uh uh it makes so much sense that you're constantly settling it on miss pat settles it which is why it's time to bring down the gavel with our little round of miss pat settles it aka the miss pat down i have a number of topics and we just want to get your verdict on okay first up spirit halloween opened in my neighborhood in august a halloween store opened in august we saw people putting out animatronic skeletons on september 1st when is the actual time to start decorating for halloween now i'm not gonna lie my shit is up right now i do christmas in october because i spent i put up like 15 christmas trees so i want to get my money worth that shit is expensive you know i bought all of that shit outside the dope my halloween stuff is up right now i was like what is fuck wrong with you i said when i get back i'm gonna need the candles hung on the porch but you you just i don't want 30 days i spent a lot of money at least at least 60 days all right yeah september one that's it verdict yeah my christmas trees will be up next month i won't light them up but they're gonna be up because i might have 15 trees this year well those are just trees then they're christmas trees but not without the lights oh they be no yeah they're criminal they'll be fully decorated oh fully decorated fully decorated in october in october wow yeah i i grew up without christmas trees so i i love christmas i uh i was uh engaged to uh a non-jewish person and it was the only chance i had of being around christmas trees but now i'm married to a jewish person and so there's no christmas trees and it was the one purse perk of dating a non-jew the one the one and Jewish people don't like christmas trees well so it's controversial but but when jews have christmas trees uh it is frowned upon why because it's like we didn't fight to get all the way over here for you to put out one of these goyish christmas trees all right that that's how we feel about it y'all don't fucking like christmas trees no no and i just want to be clear y'all we love the christmas trees candles yeah we have candles we like them we like them but we just think it's we have to preserve our our culture and heritage by not what the fuck have a christmas tree did to you well a lot of people have the christmas trees haven't been nice over the centuries but we love christmas trees it's not a disrespect for the christmas trees it is that it somebody beat y'all with a christmas tree i'm sure it's happened i'm sure it's happened next up female olympians are uh pretty upset with christmas trees and christmas trees are pretty upset with sydney sweeney's butt naked ads for sports betting huh have you seen this yeah i saw that they are upset that that she's trying to keep a job i mean i mean she's getting paid to promote this sports betting app but some of the the the female olympians are saying uh that you know they're that they don't like that this is being used to to push people towards sports betting what do you think sports betting yeah it's an app for it's a it's a it's a way to bet on sports i know what that is no i know but this i'm saying she's promoting an app called sports betting which is a way to bet on sports and they had to get a butt naked for them to spend the money i i think so what would you go over there and bet without saying that well i that doesn't do anything for me you gay yeah and you jewish yeah and you don't like christmas no you fucked up well that's that's the verdict next up after after years of posting martha stewart posted on instagram monday i've been thinking about releasing my nudes is that martha stewart that's martha stewart who the fuck pulled martha face back like that martha about 99 years old she's 85 should she release her nudes who wants to see that old wrinkle pussy i mean that face is tight but that pussy is hanging i guarantee you that pussy got feet and that pussy got more wrinkles in it than my motherfucking pants and that pussy who can't even be saved with olive oil i don't give a fuck how you pull that face back you can't you can't do that to a pussy i got a pussy you can't do that no you can't they couldn't do something no you get the fuck around your click fall off at 90 yeah that you can't be and i'm going through middle power so one side of my pussy is dry and the other side is juicy so you gotta be careful how you fuck around because that other side get too brittle and fall apart no martha stewart you can't do that to a pussy you see she got them lips and can't suck a dick because she 90 she get a headache i thought you said you were going to be kind of free and just say what you think i feel like you're really holding back what the fuck you care you don't even like crema trees all right everybody thank you to ms pat ms american dream is on our store september 29th check out the ms pat show and ms pat settles it on bt plus and whisking it up on youtube which i think i'm gonna i want to come you know i want to cook for you ms pat everybody hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up love it or leave it is brought to you by thrive market summer is coming to a close which means getting back into our routines back to school or back to our health goals we might have pushed to the side in the name of summer fun thrive market is a great place to stock up your pantry with healthy snacks that get you and your family back on track they got the thrive market brand dried fruit like apples apricots pineapples they got the blake seeds based 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first two orders when you use our link thrivemarket.com love it these offers stack so sign up before the sale ends thrivemarket.com love it love it or leave it is brought to you by zbiotics i have to tell you about this game-changing product i drink before a night out with friends it's called pre alcohol by zbiotics zbiotics pre-alcohol probiotic drink is the world's first genetically-engineered probiotic product you can get it at zbiotics.com and you can buy it at zbiotics.com you can also get it at zbiotics.com you can get it at zbiotics.com and you can get it at zbiotics.com you can get it at zbiotics.com it was engineered by phd microbiologist to break down acetaldehyde an unwanted byproduct of alcohol metabolism make pre-alcohol your first drink of the night drink responsibly and enjoy your next day activities zbiotics has sold more than 14 million bottles and you're in the trust of thousands including us i love zbiotics i just had it this weekend i was uh gonna have a couple drinks i was like you know what before that this this zbiotics has got to have that so that the next day i don't feel like you know like it works it's great huge fan try it for yourself today and i'll see you next time bye if you are unsatisfied they will refund your entire order no questions asked head to zbiotics.com slash love it code love it for 15 off your first order that's zbiotics.com slash love it code love it and we're back my next guest asked the question that america needed answered which was did i do that please welcome to the stage jaleel white hi thank you for being here guys no no i know i was trying to wait on you you should have you i should you should have said you i you were right i was wrong and that's been that up and down shit i'm old well you guys you were uh in a couple episodes of miss pat show yeah uh how'd you do he did fucking great did i pass the sniff test what sniff did my skills hold up over the years my sitcom skills yes he was fucking great you hey you just i'm the motherfucker that can't act it was a good time what's it like working with miss pat oh pat is she's wildfire she's wildfire on the set um but it's fun everybody on the set is allowed to speak up there's no there's no phony hierarchy um you know you can catch a joke from anywhere uh her showrunner jordan is terrific they got a well-oiled machine she's trying to downplay it but you don't stay on the air for six seasons without knowing what you're doing yeah oh thank you now you're also on the air for six seasons and you're on the air for six seasons also hosting totally 90s house on hgtv where a bunch of stars from 90s shows get together to renovate houses that are stuck in the 90s yes uh how has it been coming together for that reunion it's fun i mean i've known all the participants since we were very little from keisha pulliam to uh brian austin green so for me it's my version of a high school reunion oh because i didn't know the concept of the show he didn't tell me it was like the kids stars from the 90s so now you just think you should pull on oh i can't wait to watch that i know it's a fun watch it's a fun way it's a competition show so you've got um two teams of uh of stars from the 90s that have picked their home and they've got it renovated with the money we give them and there will be a winner uh so now in your memoir growing up urkel you told a story about what happened when you got to college and a ta was discussing 90s sitcoms without realizing that you were in the class so you're sitting in this class and you're sitting in this class and you're sitting in this first of all i can't believe that i can't believe you're in a college class and there's a ta talking about sitcoms mentions you but doesn't know that you're in the room oh yeah no it's very easy i mean hey you're talking about ucla so you know class sizes could be upwards of you know 200 300 uh it's probably a good buck 50 that day and uh she just started making her way down you know the different decades and as soon as she started getting into the 90s i was like uh-oh here we go and sure enough she brought up my character and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be in the 90s and i'm what she thought of it what and she was pretty she was she did not like steve steve no no she had a very academic uh assessment of the character that just didn't come from a place of reality at all about how the business functions uh it's really funny when you get to college because you hear the professors give you their academic takes on things and it's like come on that's not the way it works in the real world so i actually just shut my mouth and uh somebody told her at the end of the class you know that i was in the 90s and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be in the 90s and i'm and she came up to me and you know wanted to apologize but it was one of those moments where i was very grateful that we did not have camera phones back then what did she say no she said i was a sambo i was a she said my character was a non-threatening uh character that was specifically designed to create comfort with white people she would play of course oh it's i'm like that's that's a stretch a it was not the character was not nearly as um you know i always call the character accident. You know, they develop these shows and to the best of their ability, they try to find an audience. And back then, one of the mistakes, though, that was frequently made is, you know, there would not be a lot of black writers on these shows. And for certain concepts, it would just shine through. So I always say what my character did was my character gave the white writers something to write that I would just kind of turn on its head and make black. And it just, it literally, it was like, my character really just brought the writer's room and the cast together, and then the fighting kind of stopped. - Remember Stefan Urquell? - I catch a, listen, the cool thing about it, I catch a lot of love from everyone. - Yeah, I bet. - That's the thing I probably value most at this point in my life, that it doesn't matter what neighborhood I go into at this age, everybody loved the show, everybody watched the show, for whatever reason, you know, that they were drawn to the show. - Yeah, 'cause I-- - Whether it was Stefan or Steve or whatever it was, that, you know, I've really landed nicely in a place with millennials that I really appreciate. - Well, look, I do, but it's interesting, right? Because in that story, it's like, oh, this was a, you know, something to make white people watching it feel comfortable. I was one of those little white kids watching it, and I loved "Family Matters," and whenever you would get to be Stefan Urquell, that was the coolest fucking thing. It was like-- - I liked the lean in. - It really was. Like, if you were watching a Stefan Urquell episode of "Family Matters," you knew you were in for a good fucking time, and the same time, I was like, same way that, like, when Bebe Neuwirth would show up on "Frasier" and play Lilith, you're like, a Lilith episode? - Oh, that's a throwback character. - This is gonna be awesome. But I feel like it was a chance for you to, like, not be this sort of stereotypical nerd and get to be, like, kind of actually a heartthrob, which you kind of were outside of the show. - Yeah, first of all, I appreciate the words, thank you, but, you know, our job was to have fun. They would throw different things at me every week. Okay, you're gonna play Elvis, you're gonna play Bruce Lee, you're gonna play this, and, you know, on Monday I didn't have the confidence, and by Friday my showrunner had effectively convinced me that I could pull it off, and that was the acting exercise that took place every week, and we also tackled a lot of tough subjects that a lot of people don't necessarily, we get credit for, but forget about the credit. If you go back and you look, you'll see from, you know, police harassment to, you know, inequality in the workplace, you know, and Laura went through everything, my goodness, you know, we tackled a lot of subjects, but we did it in a way that was intentionally universal, and I'm grateful for that because I'm the one that gets to travel now around the world, and whether I'm in Spain, whether I'm in Germany, or you name it, our show still airs, still airs to this day, and people are learning those lessons and watching those episodes. - That's cool. - Well, give me a residual check. I know you got 'em. - So, you had this extraordinary childhood, growing up on this show, and you decide you're gonna, you're gonna go to college. I think people wouldn't expect or know that you were just going to public school throughout the time that you're doing Family Matters, right? You're just- - I love that you picked up on that, yeah. No, I went to public school the entire time I was on the show. - Really? - You got to have more of a normal childhood, which I think is really cool. - Which was, when I look back on it, wildly dangerous. But that's the way my momma wanted it, and- - And you had been- - She wanted you to be grounded. - And your parents did a good job protecting the money, too. And I think that's important, right? Like you, like they didn't, there were rules that protected a certain amount of what kids could have, but you were able to make sure, your parents put away the money that you had earned. You didn't even know how much you had. - It was so funny. My mom never told me how much money that I made on this show until I was 15. So, I'd probably done about 60-something episodes before I ever found out what my salary was. But what was even funnier was, if I needed money, my mom still was a little bit of a control freak, though, and she would always just give me $300. You know, whatever I needed. She was like, "Here, here, take $300." She'd give me $300. - But like, that's a lot of money. - At the time, you know, at the time, exactly, that was a nice amount of money. So, it pretty much covered anything I ever needed, is, you know, I would get this $300. And then I remember the first time I ever went to an ATM with my boys in college. And first of all, I made the mistake of standing way too close to them while they were at the machine trying to type in their PIN code. And they were like, "Yo, you need to back up." I had never been before. And then I stick in my card, and I realized $300 was the amount, the maximum amount that you could get from an ATM. So, that's all she had been doing, is just going to the ATM and getting the maximum amount. So, just innocent stuff like that probably went on for too long, but saved me a dollar. - That's cool, though. But what's interesting about that, though, is, right, like, no parent would ordinarily just give their kids $300 all the time, which is, it's a strange thing about your success at such a young age, right? Which is that your parents are doing a good job of keeping you grounded, putting you in school, sort of raising you well. But also, there seems to, was there a little part of them that was like, "Our son's fucking rich, you know? "Most kids don't get $300, but, like, "we're going to give him $300." - I don't know. I just, it depends on what you get into. Like, you know, my curfew always followed my shoe size and my grade, so, you know, in the 12th grade, I was begging just to stay out until 12:30 anyway. So, it wasn't like I was really getting into too much. I remember, may he rest in peace, Malcolm Jamal Warner and Michelle Thomas, probably, were the first people to take me out on the town and break curfew, and they took me to a record industry party that had a lot of rappers and a lot of booze and a lot of everything. And I was kind of a rule follower. My mom had scared the living crap out of me that if I did anything, I would lose the show, I would lose my money or whatever. So, I just didn't do a lot of things until I got into my early 20s, and I got overseas, and I started hanging out with some ballplayers, and then life changed drastically and quickly. - Is there advice you would give to kids that are, say, like, sort of working on, one of Miss Pat's show, when you're like, you know what I mean, are there things you would say to them that, like, to say, like, to make sure that they understand? - Well, the kids on her show, first of all, are phenomenal. They're all looked after, and there will be no funny business on that set at all. - Oh, no, I don't, I told 'em from day one, if you date, you're fired. I don't want no fucking problem. - They're all, they're all great kids on her show, but, you know, ultimately, to any kid that's performing these days, you know, it's a different landscape. To kids today, I really say, you know, teach yourself to be a filmmaker, start creating your own content, but also don't forget that this is a profession. Try to find people who have done this before you. They have the experience to mentor you and share, because just making skits and getting, going viral doesn't make you a professional. You know, there's-- - I saw either. - There's, there reaches a point where whatever talent you have could be exposed for, you know, lack of experience if you haven't been shown the ropes by people who've done it before you. So, you know, I think that's what I would say to kids also, and also do it, don't do it for money. Do it because you feel like this is, there's a calling here. - So there is a certain kind of story in a sitcom like that. But also, I think these days, a lot of the news seems like it could be from a sitcom at best, which is why we're gonna play a game, we're calling, you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there you have the game we're playing today. - Okay. - Pat, Jaleel, I'm gonna read this. - I'm gonna read you a log line. You're gonna tell us that this is the plot of a '90s sitcom episode, or something that just happened in real life. Are you ready? - Mm, okay, I'm ready. - Fire away, let's go. - All right, first up. A performance arts center is threatened with bankruptcy unless it agrees to let a comically greedy villain put his name on the side of it. - That's Batman. - She said, "That's Batman." - It's Batman? - Batman. - Wow, it's vaguely the plot of, uh, "Break into Electric Boogaloo." - Hilarious. - It's close, it's close. - I think that's a headline today. - You're right, you got it. - Yeah, that's the headline of that. - The Kennedy Center, that's the Kennedy Center and Trump. A judge on Tuesday barred Trump from putting his name on the Kennedy Center. - Praise the God. - And now they voted to close it indefinitely. - The Kennedy Center? - They voted to close it, yeah, to renovate it, yeah. - Who, who, who, what? - The Trump-appointed board, they voted today. - To close the Kennedy Center? - Not, not, not permanently, but they're gonna, they're basically-- - They're renovating it. - They're renovating it. - They lying? - I wish Kennedy would get up with that hole in his head and hunt the shit out of him. Oh, I shouldn't have said it out loud. - Next up, a young actress gets her big break with a high-profile network interview. The only problem, she doesn't exist. What do you think? What do you think, Pap? - It's gotta be today, aye-aye. - Mm-hmm. That's right. - Okay. - This week, NBC News aired an interview with Tilly Norwood, the AI actress they keep trying to make happen. - That's nice. - Here's a clip. - Do you have opinions on what's happening right now in the Middle East, in Gaza? - Ah, Chloe, that's a very heavy topic, and honestly, it's not something I'm really equipped to discuss. My world is a bit more about creative expression and the magic of filmmaking than the complexities of global politics. - Wow, that is exactly what a studio executive would want every actor on Earth to say. - And that's the problem. - Right. - That we are a long ways off from AI characters being the main character in shows. - You think we're a long way off? - I think so. I did. Now, music is different. Because music is audible, I think the younger generation is going along with chart-topping AI. - There's one song on AI that I cannot stop listening to. - So I already know. - And my sister was like, "You shouldn't listen to that. "They not real." I said, "But the bitch is hitting all the right points." - Exactly. -And it's a song, "I celebrate me." -Music is cooked. I did not say this applies to you. music but when it comes to film and television we just we we have such a keen eye that we're we're searching for the truth when we're watching and i want to know if you turn actors into ai who y'all gonna run up for an autograph the bitch can't come outside the stream next up a working class populist starts a cult in order to get out of paying taxes oh that's today shit you should answer that that is that is a sitcom that's al bundy on married with children starting the church of no ma'am after realizing that by becoming a church they would be get tax exempt status on beer purchases what i wasn't allowed to watch married with children when i was a kid i love it i wasn't allowed i was nine o'clock yeah yeah but because you're a couple years older so you're just i was younger than you and so for me it was like just it was it was like so it was like considered the most raunchy vulgar thing oh it was so good for me to cut off was generally just time oh yeah it was in my way i had a hard time cutting off at nine o'clock i had to do some heavy negotiating to watch a different world and family ties you couldn't watch your own show no not no a different world was a different show that was oh okay did you do you ever watch it yeah we would we would watch the shows while we watch it now while we were um i went back and i actually watched the first season during pandemic oh okay i i really i i enjoy watching the growth between episodes 12 and like episodes 18 i'm like a different person yeah i can't watch myself i was just calling rurs uh next up a nerd almost dies in space after a satellite crashes into his rocket but saves the day in the end man that's my show yes that is the last episode of family matters i cannot believe so i cannot believe in the last episode of family matters they send you the last episode of family matters to fucking space i like it i like it talk to the execs how many seasons was it nine years 215 episodes 215 years 215 episodes yes i actually just crossed the thousand episode mark for episodic television this year so i've done over a thousand i've done over a thousand episodes of just episodic television if i count the 520 from flip side uh 215 from family matters over a hundred for sonic the hedgehog and then all the guest appearances that i've ever done wow that's amazing well thank you jaleel totaling 90s house airs on wednesdays on hgtv i want to i want to some of those 90s trends are just on the verge of coming back so hey you know it could be you know it's interesting and that's also streaming on hbo max and we'll be right back yes hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up love it or leave it is brought to you by hymns losing weight is one thing but feeling your best summer that's the real goal that's why weight loss by hymns now offers access to the fda approved we go v pill and we go v pen we go v is designed to help you lose weight sustainably so you can show up 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learn more including important safety information we go v is the registered trademark of novo nordisk as to get started and learn more including go v clinical study information and restrictions visit hymns.com and we're back hold on tight because it's time now for that cherished love it or leave it tradition the rant wheel oh my god here's how it works we'll spin the wheel wherever it lands one of us will have a chance to rant for 60 seconds on any topic of our choosing are you ready yeah all right let's go we're ready to go oh my gosh what am i gonna rant about for 60 seconds um i i think i would like to see natural bodies trend again i i was looking at a post not too long ago and it had all the names of nia and lark and stacy and the daniels twins and i'm like man natural bodies would be nice to celebrate again you know i'm saying just a good natural titty you know i did it doesn't even you know i did it doesn't even matter i'm not gonna rant about it i'm gonna rant about it doesn't even matter the the size you know it can be itty bitty i don't care it's part of the committee you know and i know she's blessed with a lot of naturalness over here uh you know uh you know but natural butt you know what i'm saying like all those women in the 90s just look different man it's it's amazing uh less transforming and maybe it'll prevent you from meeting another decepticon out there yeah that's a good idea we are what we attract all right let's get to the next question uh pat what would you like to rant about um my kids i have six six girls and i'm tired of them um being nasty i hate musty kids and they're just dirty and kids don't like showering anymore you gotta be nice with them when you tell them their ass stink and they get mad because i'd be like your ass stink and they want me to say it like a baby i smell you puka puka no your ass stink when you get mad you're like your ass stink and they want me to say it like a when you get hair on your vagina it's a pussy so you should keep it clean and so you got 30 more seconds i just you know just dirty ass kids hey you know i just hate dirty kids they filthy they don't clean up their rooms and they hide they shit in their room and they don't empty trash cans i'm sick of kids and i just i was like use them if y'all knew how i grew up y'all would appreciate this shit and they just eat in their room and hide shit up on their pillows i just fucking hate kids and i understand why people tie their tubes you thought i wasn't gonna make it through i got a lot of shit i didn't say i want you to know something it was never a worry that you wouldn't be able to fill 60 seconds not something that ever crossed my mind to be afraid of all right let's spin it one more time i wonder where it's uh steve hilton who's running for governor in california we're also for pod save america we're also trying to get javier becerra on tough guy to book and i actually appreciated the conversation uh he is a guy that's supported by trump i obviously think that someone who is willing to support trump that raises uh deep questions about whether you could trust them to be the governor of this state but he reached out actually we didn't reach out to steve hilton steve hilton reached out and said i want to come and talk to pod save america which i actually is i think is i i respect he wants to he's willing to kind of put himself in in front of a more progressive audience it's going to be a tougher conversation but i thought it was good to talk to him and i've been surprised by the number of people who continue to say something along the lines of like oh why are you platforming this person uh because i feel like that was a term that was kind of that's been a bit abused because it's not about elevating someone who doesn't have a platform this is someone who is the republican nominee for governor he has a platform we are trying to ask questions to understand uh if he should if he deserves another and i think sometimes the platforming conversation uh uh goes beyond i think what it should be about which is not allowing kind of really drawing a line at like the way you know really drawing a line about acceptable debate but instead just i don't want you to expose other people to people that i think are wrong as if you can't trust other people to adjudicate a person's views and make their own judgment in a way that would align with yours so i don't like this thing of why would you platform people can i ask you a question do you think there's a difference between republicans and maga yeah i do i do too i do i really do i i think it's some scared ass republicans that will not speak up and sitting in the back knowing that things are wrong but don't have the power to speak up and then you have some crazy mega motherfuckers that's just out front who acting like fucking food and just say oh we got racism back and white boys are cool and they've been oppressed and all of this bullshit but i do think it's a difference between republicans and and uh a fuck fucking mega mega is racist republicans are scared i think there's there's i think there's truth to that i will say though one lesson i take from sort of the last 10 years is i used to think that difference mattered more that what was in people's hearts mattered more yeah and i always felt like oh you can really tell the difference between a republican that really loves trump and a republican who's afraid and is pretending to love trump but especially as we've been going through this for such a long time and so many people have refused to speak up actually what you say and do is who you are not what you how you feel is beside the point if you are pretending to be a mega person there's no difference there's no moral difference you are a mega person as far as the world knows and there's a kurt vonnegut wrote this book about uh a guy that was pretending to be a nazi in nazi germany and he said that uh be careful what you pretend to be because you are you are what you pretend to be and i think a lot of these republicans are what they pretend to be so i know that there's a difference in their hearts maybe but it doesn't matter when their actions empower someone like trump you know that's how i feel about it but i think it's i try i try not to clump them all together i say some people are republicans and just and it's it's even when you when you know something is going wrong and you don't fucking speak out or they shut you down and you can't do anything it's like the democrats they can't do shit right now because we don't have the majority we don't have this and that so you know i just i hate when people clump them all together i think maga are a bunch of crazy hidden motherfuckers that don't rose to the top they're a bunch of maggots that float now yeah i think it also matters in like how we try to kind of figure out what's next right because we should remember that even if trump won the election there are a lot of diehards but the whole but the majority of the country they even you know let's say there's a third of the country that are true maga right there's a lot of people that are persuadable that we can try to get back which i think is is important and kind of part of what you're you want them back well we got to win we need a couple of them to win well i think people are crossing over because i think what happened is it the people who voted that away at first it has come to regular people door and what i'm saying oh my god he's not going to win he's not he's going to do this they said hold on why this shit at my door so now it's that they don't they was like well this ain't like the farmers well this all but lose my farm what they've been on your fucking land for the uh for those data center but you were just too stupid to realize didn't you i think the farmers really got fucked when they brought their fake beef in here so oh yeah that old that old that old frozen oh that old frozen beef dude i'm i got a farmer i got a guy if you need some real meat he got cows i'm black i got everything you need except that dugout bag at your i don't i don't associate when you said like i'm not gonna let her get away with that like miss pat will have a deep conversation with you but still try to sell you something in the middle of the conversation i hope it is like i've never i've just not i've never honestly like i'm black so obviously i have access to secret beef what that's not like on the list of things i'm aware of that are like black that's like is that like i always need beef but i'm just saying i didn't wouldn't have thought it as a black thing to have access to secret beef yes is it it's fucked up by here i got the good beef i know i know a black where can we where can we buy your good beef oh it's online i know so i knew it was online we didn't think it was in your trunk all right we'll be right back and we're back now it's time for a segment we call second thoughts here's how it works this has been a 10 out of 10 show all right we've gotten it all right yet the producers believe i may have made a mistake now it again if you can imagine it and so i have a list of places where the producers of this show during the show have decided i could have done a better job and i'm going to share them with you now okay uh as part of second thoughts um first up i lied about having a wife to who uh to the audience uh uh i did a russian accent without asking my close russian friends if it was okay uh it wasn't it wasn't good it was great can we hear it uh i uh i slut shamed lassie the dog okay uh let's see oh uh during our segment i disparaged the webbies uh oh as a gay person i should be more enthusiastic about celebrating halloween early you were right you know you wanted to celebrate halloween early and i was a bit of a i was a bit negative about that and i'm sorry so you should be you should have more energy because you're gay yeah we were sort of celebrating halloween early and i was a bit of a i was a bit negative about that and i'm sorry and we like we love costumes you know and parties so you're a freak i don't i don't think yeah i mean sure but not about this oh okay well gay people get more happy i mean my hair makeup they gay they don't like halloween do you guys like halloween they like to trick or treat they like to trick or treat they like to trick or treat he said it's so good with the deep voice yeah that's why i want to come to my door for candy a big old strong negro let's see i valid jamil i validate one of one one regret i have is that i did validate uh your professor your ta's claim that his character made white people comfortable by saying that i really liked i really like that character i don't agree with that i don't agree with this no forget about that lady man she probably doesn't even have a job at this point did you graduate yes i graduated i graduated i graduated i graduated i graduated i graduated i graduated oh what you what did you fuck you go to major in when you already had a career it was a bit redundant but i did it to make my mom happy and i graduated with a degree in film and television from ucla you already had a fucking degree in free i just prefaced it and said it was a bit redundant what i did who the fuck gonna get a degree when they was already doing something a boring rich person i'm gonna i'll make sure to give you my mama's number though i would love with your mama you got a black mama we have to fight we're good and uh i'll tell you something i actually have no regrets about tonight other than that this show is now over that is our show thank you so much to jaleel white and miss pat there are 48 days until the midterms and we'll be back this friday with hassan piker and andrew zimmer love it or leave it is a crooked media production our show is produced by kendra james bill mcgrath kelsey gante and me john love it our production team includes hallie keeper sarah lazarus raman borselino peter miller david tolls claudia shang j banks raul calderon gavin purcell and matt degrote and our production staff is jaleel white and miss pat there are 48 days until the midterms and our production staff is proudly unionized with the writers guild of america east