142: The Millennial Episode

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So you should be thanking us. I have the same hours of the day as Beyonce. So yeah, what do you do with your 24 hours? Hey guys, welcome back to the Berserker Report. Millennial edition. I will wait, I will wait for you. And that was the harmony. And sometimes y'all do those edits of putting me over, me singing over the actual thing. And sometimes I hit a random harmony. What was that one song? The I hit a crazy harmony to that song, like for no reason. And then y'all put me also. Rhett, y'all put me over on Rhett and Link singing Neon Moon when the sun goes down and we kind of hit that shit crazy style. I really, you know, you know, I really feel like I give you a lot of credit for that. I really, you know, you know, I really feel like I give you guys so much, a creative well of information and data that you just, you do your thing with it. And I'm really, really appreciative of it because, you know, I appreciate it. And I just feel really seen by you guys. All right. Same as last week. I've got my Neato gummy bear. And see how when you press on its, on its gelatinous stomach just enough, it kind of bulges out. I like that. It sack bulges. When you grip on its sack and you push it, it kind of bulges out pregnant style. So that's awesome. I like to really explore the anatomy of my stem toys. You know what I mean? Oh, my God. I'm so excited. I'm, um, um. I'm going to visit my friends soon. And, uh, hello. Hello. What the fuck is going on today? My brain doesn't work. I'm going to, um, let me get, um, why do y'all listen to this podcast? I'm going to Savannah, Georgia soon to go visit, uh, some very dear, dear friends of mine. And we're going to do girls weekend. We're going to have our little thing. And I'm very excited because, you know, in those little shops, like the little mom and pop shops, they randomly sometimes have the best fidget toys. Like for no reason. There'll just be a little corner with like a bunch. A bunch of AI slop and then whatever. And then just like great stem toys. So I'm like, oh, mom and pop have the hookup for the ADHD slash high functioning autistic children. And by children, I mean adults. So that's awesome. Um, and yeah, they are meant for, for children, but in many ways I am a child. So, all right, here's what we're going to do today. Today is fall. Welcome to fall y'all. It's fall y'all. Remember those signs? Yeah. I used to love that shit. TJ Maxx in Texas, Maxinistas, where the fuck are you? Stand the fuck up. Maxinistas stand the fuck up. TJ Maxx, HomeGoods, Marshalls. That is the like middle-class America. That's where you get your shit. Like we couldn't afford the Nordstrom's or the pennies was my, my Mimi did pennies. She still does. And pennies and Kohl's had really cute stuff, but that's on the more pricey side. Dillard's Dillard's. Dillard's was ritzy. Okay. And I don't know if Dillard's even exists anymore. At least not brick and mortar Dillard's. You know, I went to, to JCPenney and Dillard's probably two years ago, maybe three years ago, just in the mall. Cause they're in every mall, but they're empty as fuck. It's literally ghost town. It's scary boots. I went into JCPenney where I lived in, where was I? No, it was here. It was in LA. Uh, and I think I drove maybe like 30 minutes out of. My way. And I went in, it was empty. Even the people working there were like, can I help you shopping? And I went in there to get sweaters. Cause I was like, girl, these fucking Instagram ads, everything is polyester, even thrifting stuff. Sometimes I'm like, this is she in bitch. And you ripped the tag out. And I'm just like, I can feel it. And it just doesn't keep you warm. And it smells like puss and it's just bad. And so I was like, I'm gonna go to JCPenney. At least find me some, you know, a hundred percent cotton, a hundred percent wool, whatever, go get a sweater. And I know it's going to be super ass discounted. So I went in and I promise I was the only person in the store and I went to the clearance rack and I found a bunch of sweaters and I got like J crew and all like good brands for like $8. It was such tea. And then I didn't want to tell anyone. Cause I was like, this is my secret. Like I'm getting this shit discounted 95% off. Insane. $8 for a sweater. I think I got like five sweaters and, uh, I still wear them. Like I wear them out. And so that is my, my tea is I would say broski nation head out to the department stores because they're about to close. Anyway, a lot of them are doing their like last, everything must go. If they're even still open in your town, I would really go and set a budget for yourself. Like, okay, I'm not going to spend more than $50 and just stock up on what you need. Whether that's sweaters, whether that's like shoes, whether it's sweaters, summer shorts, I don't like whatever. And they have that shit and it's like good quality, good brands. And it kind of makes me sad. Cause it's like, yeah, of course these brick and mortar stores that employ people are going out of business. But I also remember the hellscape of being a fat kid. And like my parents taking me to JCPenney to go try on like clothes for school and be like, it is a billion degrees in here. Everyone and their mother is here. It closed all over the fucking floor. Nothing's organized. It's very, and this is like pennies and pennies. This was the nice place, but that back to school, like flurry of buying clothes was just too much sometimes. And then like arguing with my mom about like, I don't like this, or this is the style, mom. I don't care if you don't think it looks good. I need to wear an infinity scarf. I need to wear a pencil skirt to school. Trust me. And so in that vein, I've just been thinking a lot about fall. I've been thinking a lot about fall growing up, fall during school and how my relationship to fall over the years has changed. And morphed and blossomed because I used to be like, Oh, the sun's going away. I'm like time to get depressed. And now I'm like, Oh my God, it's my favorite damn season. And I do believe I am an autumn and any of y'all color analysis people, if you want to like take a bald photo of me, cause you know how they block your hair and they block your, I've got plenty of those photos out there. Just take a bald photo of me and do my color analysis because I'm very curious. Cause sometimes like a light blue looks very bad. It's very beautiful on me. But ever since I made my hair warmer, everyone's like, Oh my God, you, you finally look good. Oh, you finally look good. Oh, thank God. Cause I do look back when I had bleach blonde 22 inch hair and I'm, you know, I needed to do it. That was my fantasy bitch. Like, I don't know what that is growing up being like bleach blonde hair is the epitome of gorgeous Jessica beauty to me. I thought I was Pamela Anderson with those inches in bitch. A zillion bust down 22 inch bleach blonde, Pamela Anderson. And it was not giving that it was giving washed out your white L plus your white. That's what it was giving. So yeah, my bleach blonde extensions with my graphic t-shirt and Nike tennis skirt. Like, no girl, that's not fashion. I don't know. But you know what? I felt gorge. I felt fucking gorge. You couldn't tell me shit when I walked in the room with my, with my 22 inch bust down thick dork eye makeup. I loved doing that dark eye makeup. It was really, really fun to me. And then, yeah, a lash, my long ass nails. And then guess what? A Harry Styles graphic t-shirt and a Nike shirt, a Nike skort and a high top Converse. And you can tell when I interviewed fucking hosier, that was, I was deep in that. I was deep in that phase of my life. I'm wearing a graphic hosier t-shirt, high top Converse, I think a skirt, and then my dark ass makeup and my bleach blonde hair. That was quite the era. But in high school, it's funny because I could trace it back to in high school. That's all I wanted to look like. And then I finally, I got adult money and then I could do it. And now I'm like, obviously I, you find yourself more and more every year, which is very much funny, uh, how it changes so drastically. And so now I look back and I'm like, God, that is not cute girl. But it was at the time. I really, really thought it was. So that's what matters. That's what matters is I felt, I felt beautiful. So. I'm thinking a lot about millennial fashion. I'm thinking a lot about fall. I'm thinking a lot about Christian girl autumn, about millennial hipsters. They really, really had their peak in fall. And Americans do call it fall. And I do believe we're the only ones because leaf fall down. Okay, sky, sun fall from sky. Every other civilized nation calls it autumn. And to that, I say, and to audio listeners, I just jacked off to the camera. And to audio listeners, I just jerked it. I jerked it off because like, shut up, shut the fuck up, bitch. It's fall. Okay. And yeah, I'm going to say fall because I'm American. Here's the thing. I am in both camps. I'm in the camp of Americans are loud and annoying. And we do a lot of things wrong. And American individualism and exceptionalism. And we think that we're exempt. And we think we're the number one country in the world. XYZ, all this fucking bullshit propaganda. And the other camp, they're like, oh my God, I'm embarrassed to be American. but the laughingstock of the whole world, of the entire world. Anytime I go to Europe, anytime I leave America, the number one question is about Trump and everyone's just infatuated with him. They think he is genuinely evil. They think he's a cartoon character because he is. And it's just so embarrassing that it's like, that's the, and then like every single video I see about Americans online, it's just, it's, it is so humiliating. And I don't want to add into that. But at the same time, I don't know, Caleb said something on his podcast like a year ago or something where he was like, dude, through it all, love being American. I love football and I love fried chicken and I love sweet tea. And I love like, you know, like all these things. And I was like, he's low-key right. There's a lot about being American that I'm like, that's awesome. That's fucking awesome. Disneyland, only an American could have dreamed that up. I mean it. Only an American could have been like, what if Disneyland was a thing? And now it's a global franchise. Like, and now it's like everyone, when you step foot in Disneyland or a Disney resort of any kind, you are also American. That's how that works. Like you suddenly become American. So I don't know. It's very, very, I have very mixed feelings on it, obviously, because I'm humiliated to be an American, but also so, so happy to be an American sometimes. So yeah, dude, fall, fuck you. I'm jerking off to the camera again. It's, it's called fall. It's where I'm from. And if I was from the EU and I learned English, I'd probably call it autumn, but I'm not, but I'm not. All right. So what I want to do today is millennial autumn fashion, take it or leave it. Okay. Keep it or leave it. We're going to not rank it, but does it have its place in fashion herstory or should we leave it in 2013 where it kind of belongs? So in honor of that, today I have my flannel. I have my infinity scarf and I have my Canada beanie that I bought in Toronto. Shout out to Toronto. You left your mom in the hoods fam. You left your mom's in the hood. Toronto. This is Troy Millings from earn your leisure. If you run a small business, you know how important it is to stay on top of your numbers. That's why I want to tell you about Xero. That's X E R O. 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Literally just wrap it around once, throw it over your shoulder, but it's a huge scarf. I think that is so chic. I really do. Just over a nice fitting coat, just wrap it once, throw it over your shoulder, or do the classic, you know, wrap around once, other side, and they're both in front of you. But I've also started doing this cute thing. In the fall, where you tie it like a bow. I have this red scarf, and I put it on my black jacket, and I tie it like a big bow around my neck, and it's super cute. And I've also seen it with pink scarves on navy jackets. That's a very fun color combo for the fall slash winter if you're a cool tone girl. Love that. Definitely try that. A beanie. Look, beanies are timeless. I feel like there is a specific type of dude that wears a beanie, but when I see a woman in a beanie, I think of Marnie from Girls. It's just a very, you know, it's bedroom pop. You're like, forgiveness is only saying sorry. Like you're doing, when you're wearing a beanie. If you're a woman who wears a beanie, you also own a ukulele. You own a ukulele. You're doing, you're singing in cursive. You probably love Phoebe Bridgers. Like that is the woman that wears a beanie. I just feel like there's other more fun winter hats to wear. But I also understand the functionality of a beanie. Okay. Like if you live in Colorado, if you live in Boston, it's fucking cold. I don't wear a beanie because it fucks up my hair because my hair gets greasy as fuck when it's pushed against my head because my head is oily. Right? Right? My scalp is oily. So when you push it again, it just never looks good. I love earmuffs. I'm going to throw in earmuffs into here. My quintessential, I don't think they ever go out of style. I think they're so cute. And what gets cold? Your ears. And guess what? In a beanie, the ears are exposed. And now I'm pissed off because everything else is warm. My earlobes are fucking red. Now my earlobes are red. I look like I'm swollen. Okay. I don't like that. So I suggest no beanie, use ear warmers. Let's talk about the quintessential Thanksgiving outfit. Dude, quintessential Thanksgiving outfit. Suede pencil skirt. Suede mini pencil skirt with the buttons. A black turtleneck. Very tight. Very tight black turtleneck. That green, you know, the one, the olive green jacket that everyone had, the tumbler jacket, tights, ankle booties. All right. Probably a Chelsea boot, but I used to wear this brand, this fucking, I don't know if anyone else knew about this other than like 50 plus year old men. Clarks. Clarks makes like Oxfords and brogues. Oxfords or brogues. That's from, that's from Kingsman. Shout out Taron Egerton, bro. Kingsman? I was, I was gooning for Taron Egerton as a teenager. I was gooning for him. Eggsy. Eggsy, darling. My God. And then the second one when he's in a coma, what's his name's in a coma? Colin Farrell? Colin Firth? Colin Firth is in a coma? Dude, I felt like a fucking family member had died. Like he taught me how to be an agent, how to be a spy. How to be a Kingsman. Oxfords or brogues. Like that movie really, I've seen that movie so many times and it's so campy. And like, honestly, if I watched it back now, I'd be like, what the fuck is this movie? But it was so, I love a movie with a trial in it. And that is that. Like, oh shit, this scared me. My leaves fell on my damn screen. It fell. So yeah. Shout out to Taron Egerton. And sorry that I used to goon to you as a teen. Okay. That's the Thanksgiving outfit. Make sure, oh, my ankle booties were Clark's and they were so comfortable because of course they're for men. So of course that shit's comfortable. It had this padding on the bottom of the ankle boot and they laced up. I loved that shit. And when I say ankle, I mean ankle. Like they cut off down below the ankle. And, but they're kind of camp. If we were to bring that back today, I feel like it'd be, it'd be like, oh, okay, work. The way that that Valentino shoe is coming back. Well, and what's the, the platform ankle strap sandal. that like Ariana used to wear Beyonce used to wear it I forget who makes it but that's kind of coming back this almost people are nostalgic for 2010-2011 grunge which is very crazy this shit's always cyclical whatever you have from 2020 and you're like oh let me donate this maybe keep some of it because that shit is going to come back around and it's going to be cool in like 10 years so you could be like this is my Shein warped checker pattern tank top tube top from from 2020 COVID when we were all getting fitted the fuck up in our rooms cider hall Shein hall and just plastic just landfill core and getting fitted up to take photos to post not on Instagram no no TikTok damn I gotta go do a video for TikTok in my Shein fit what a time you I know I'm fucked up I'm just a little sorry what a time all right next horse riding boots girl this is evergreen the equestrian look look because look let me tell you something the Ralph Lauren thing by the way it's Lauren he's American it's not Ralph Lauren he's not fucking French bro that's like quintessential American designer Ralph Lauren Ralph Lauren core the the old money equestrian like really tight uh almost leggings tucked into a riding boot with the socks peeking out I personally think that's timeless I think that it's flattering anything can go on top I love a riding boot a riding boot with a dress a riding boot with a skirt mini is very flattering and very like it keeps you warm it's a good winter slash fall slash autumn kind of thing so that's evergreen keep it oh let's go back through these infinity scarves leave it beanie leave it the thanksgiving outfit uh leave it but um no leave it horse riding boots keep it galaxy print leggings bro bro what the fuck were we doing gal I never had them I never had galaxy print leggings but you know what I did have and I'm being very deeply honest when I say this my parents were uh my parents were money savers okay my parents were money savers in many ways and that deeply affected you know what we looked like and not to say we went without ever but like what what I was wearing as a teenager was very much like oh my dad said my dad won't let me xyz and the fashion the fits suffered because of it y'all all love to my dad the fits had fucking suffered like the fits could have been a lot better but my dad insisted that we close shopped at Costco my mom my mom's side she would take us to JCPenney's Kohl's Dillard's and now of course it was always what my Mimi what my mom wanted me to wear I had very little to say in the matter but my dad he was more so like we're at Costco what do you want and I was like probably nothing oh back to school fits yeah probably nothing from Costco to be honest but yeah no no I'll take a look and so I went over and took a look you know how it's those big ass tables of just shit it's just got shit on it and it's usually like it's for men it's like golf shirts or it's zip ups or it's whatever baby clothes now me imagine me 15 year old me I'm in the Costco trapped there against my fucking will because we're doing a family grocery run we're there for four hours shopping for Costco stuff and I would only say yes if I knew that we could also go close shopping because I wanted shit because I was a greedy fuck I was a greedy 15 year old and I wanted shit I'm only going if there's something in it for me otherwise I could be at home on tumblr like why the fuck do you think I'm here also I'm on my ipod touch there's no wi-fi here this place fucking sucks this place fucking sucks I can't even read Harry Styles fan fiction what the fuck so we're at Costco my ipod touch is not connecting to the wi-fi because I'm not a Costco club member okay I'm not I'm I don't and my parents don't give a shit about me enough to share me the fucking wi-fi password with me because I'm being abused because I'm being fucking abused by my parents we're talking Costco for four hours and so they're running around doing whatever and I'm just falling behind oh my oh by the way looking back my parents were like struggling having two like small children because we're my brother and sister and I are six and seven years apart six seven we were six and seven years apart and they're obviously dealing with them whining like like getting all the samples whatever and then I'm behind them like I need wi-fi I need wi-fi my fucking friend on tumblr said she's gonna kill herself I have to like check in she's alive mind you she didn't they never did but I got real real real real accustomed to that whole thing you know what I mean I'd be at the family dinner table and I'd be on tumblr like under the table on my ipod touch being like don't do it you have so much to live for like I have always been the bitch holding that shit down I've been the friend holding that shit down don't kill yourself because don't kill yourself don't like seriously don't I really feel like there's so much to live for this whole podcast is just there's so much to live for and there's so much to be happy and hopeful about okay so I think from a young age I was always that for my my friends and my internet friends whatever like you know how that shit used to be I was talking to people I'd never met in person who supposedly were my age really struggling with their mental health and like I as a teenager really didn't struggle with my mental health everything was all fucking rainbows and butterflies for me so I would help them and that became a kind of like I got pretty good at it and then you know in my adult life I started to date men who needed that for me as well which is really fucking fun anyway okay can I say something why does every friend group have that one person who's like don't worry I'll bring something and then they show up with one lonely bag of chips probably for themselves girl there's 20 people here what was the thought process there I personally am the opposite of that person that's why I've been grabbing Smirnoff ice it's cold it's crispy it's hot it's hot it's hot it's hot it's hot it's hot it's hot it's hot it's hot it's hot it's hot my friends are pigs also sorry can we normalize opening someone's fridge the second you get to their house like you knew I was coming let me in there I want to see what sauces you have in here and I'm going to start throwing stuff away that's expired anyway the next time you're headed to a get-together just grab some Smirnoff ice and make sure the fridge is stocked this episode of the broski report is sponsored by hinge now I talk a lot on this podcast about not needing a fridge what you don't being content with platonic and familial love and I do think those are the most important and steadfast kinds of love but I'm also not a robot I do believe that when you're ready truly solid in yourself unfazed by the affection or lack of affection of potential romantic partners you could have some fun on a dating app and hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted it's for people dating with intention going on dates putting themselves out there hinge is designed for finding connections I'm also an advocate for a group date planning a night out with your friends and inviting said hinge candidate towards the end of the night to see what the vibe is put yourself out there and it's low risk and it could be high reward so why not download hinge today and give it a try that whole era I was so helplessly hopelessly addicted to my device which I did not my parents only paid for like half of a gig of data for me on my phone so I'd obviously blow through that in fucking seconds and then I'd be like I need wi-fi for my game but oh man you guys don't give a shit about me so we'd be at Costco let me get back to it we're at the table with all the clothes on it and my parents are you know whatever I am looking at the pajama jeans now what is a pajama jean Brittany thank you for asking pajama jeans are skinny jeans that are made of cotton not a jean not a denim in sight they are 100 cotton stretch and they do have pockets yes they do but only in the back and if you put anything in it it sags your ass down because it's 100 cotton I wore pajama jeans every single day from the ages of 14 to 18 pajama jeans were all I had it was me and my pajama jeans against the world specifically in Costco pajama jeans and I would pair said pajama jeans with a thrifted oversized long sleeve shirt okay the ones of like so-and-so nature preserve and it would have all the wolves you know what I mean the like the wolves and the stepbrothers pose with mountains in the background or like a howling wolf I was wearing that okay I was wearing uh kitschy campy refer like IP referential shirts as well Etsy was my girl I was wearing a pajama jeans and I was wearing a pajama jeans deep in a Star Wars phase so I had a lot of like the first order but it looked like the North Face logo so it said the first order and the other half of it instead of the North Face logo it had one half of a stormtrooper thing like it was that I had a shirt that said Stark Industries which by the way, now that's like wearing a Palantir t-shirt. Like what the fuck? But I was like, oh, that's from the movie. It's from the movie Iron Man 2. I want that movie. So I had that. I had a bunch of shit like that. Just funny graphic t-shirts. I've always loved a damn graphic t-shirt. So from there, the makeup was also questionable. This was King Kylie era. So I was overlining the fuck out of my tiny Renaissance lips. For what? Like, by the way, and then posing with the, you know, in the mirror, like the, or up high, I was really doing that shit. I was clocking in on that shit in ways you guys did not even know. I actually put a photo up here. That's, I used to be doing that shit. Okay. That was me in the King Kylie era. So I was doing that. I used to have super long hair and then I chopped it. I got this cute little bob and it actually, it was, it was, it was such a slay. And then I really, really wanted at this time to wear fake lashes, but I didn't know how, and it kind of scared me. And I also didn't want to be made fun of going to school. Cause this was like prime of that shit. All the Manny MUA, Laura Lee, like Jeffree star, like all of that. I was so deep into that. And I was so into like, I had the Anastasia palettes and I had this or whatever, but then I was going to school just doing like line eyeliner, the, the liquid eyeliner on top and mascara. That's all I was doing. No blush, no shit. And then, uh, overlining the fuck out of my lips. So I looked crazy, uh, hair up in a bun every single day. Don't even think about styling your hair, just throw it up in a bun. And around the time that I was like, okay, I'm gonna start learning how to do lashes. I would look up makeup tutorials online of like how to get fake lashes, no fake lashes. And it was just like, Oh, curl your eyelashes. And I was like, well, I don't have a curler and I'm not going to buy a curler. So how else do I do it? I remember laying in my bed and getting so frustrated that I couldn't have fake lashes and there, no one had an alternative. And then I ended up obviously wearing fake lashes. Cause I, I wanted that shit. So I eventually got it. But that, if that helps paint a picture of me in high school, I was doing theater. Uh, and if I wasn't doing theater, I was doing mock trial, which is like a, it's like pre-law shit. And I was showing up in my thrifted wolf t-shirt with my overlined lips being like, okay, but the prosecution really should think about. It was fun. I was very, really, really fun to be around in high school. And then college was this shit, like heavy, heavy. 2018 is when I graduated. So I started college. I graduated in three years. So I started college in 2015. That's when I graduated high school. And 2015 was all this. It was the olive green jacket. It was tights. It was ankle boots. It was like, girl, the thick, thick liner, the, um, y'all Ariana Grande used to have a makeup tutorial. And if you know, you know, she used to have a makeup tutorial on her YouTube page that I have watched probably 1 billion times. She used to have this, specific color, something berry of Maybelline long stay lipstick or something. And that's all she used to, she was like sitting on her floor. This was in the Victoria's salmon cat era, sitting on her floor being like, here's my makeup tutorial. And she had fake lashes on from set. She was like, these are from set. So I just like, don't really like, I don't know what I'm doing. And she would do blush. She would do a eye shadow, but then wipe it off and then lips. And that was literally it. And it was the most unhelpful, like no tea, love her to death. It was the most unhelpful shit, but I watched every single moment of it a billion times and I bought every product that she mentioned in it. And I was like, okay, so pause. Why don't I look like her? Okay. Like, wait, I'm doing everything right. I'm doing everything I need to. Why don't I look like Ariana Grande? That fucking picture of her sitting on the bathroom counter, like with her feet in the sink, doing her makeup there, girl, I wanted to be her so bad. Which brings me to another point. High school, freshman, sophomore year, I had a, that was the peak Ariana phase for me. She would do bows in her hair and she would do the oversized sweatshirts and she would do Uggs. Okay. That was her thing. I wore that. That was my uniform on days that I wasn't doing Eleanor Calder, AKA Louis Tomlinson's ex-girlfriend. I was so deep in this shit, bitch. You have no idea everything about my personality, was Tumblr. Everything about how I dressed, how I looked, how I did my makeup, how I did my hair was Tumblr. And I don't regret a damn second of it. It was so informative. It was so formative for me. The like sleeveless button up, the like kind of preppy shit. I would wear a pencil skirt, my ankle boots, and like a, I looked like I was about to teach the damn class, bitch. 6 AM. I'm, I'm dragging. I am getting into drag for first period at 7 30 AM. I don't give a fuck. Tomlinson Tuesdays, every Tuesday I dress like Louis Tomlinson. I'd wear stripes or suspenders. Yes. I used to wear suspenders to school. And were they connected to my pajama jeans? Yes, they were. Yes, they were. They really were. And then if it wasn't that, then I was doing Ariana Grande. And then towards senior year, I started to be like, I don't give a fuck about, I don't give a fuck about anything. And that's when I was doing pajama jeans and the thrifted shirts. Not my cornucopia falling, but that was very, oh, take me back. I had so much fun getting ready in the morning. Like it, oh, not even to mention in eighth grade, I dressed like Marilyn Monroe. In eighth grade, bitch, I was doing fifties pinup. I was dressing and like, I love Lucy polka dot dresses, a red lip to school, doing my hair and a like, bitch, I loved that shit. I have always loved dressing up. I have always loved figuring out who I am, whatever. And my parents, I will give credit to my parents. Never once was my dad like, go change. He was very, whatever I came out of that room looking like, he was like, have fun at school. He said, have a good day at school. Versus my mom was kind of like, that whole side of the family was kind of weird. It was like, turn 13, you need to start wearing makeup. You need to do this, you need to do that. And looking back, I'm like, wearing makeup at 13 is such a, you don't need to do that. Hey, hey, you don't need to do that, actually. You're still a kid. But I started, I started wearing makeup, I think at like 14. And then my mom's side used to be like, those shorts don't fit you. You look fat. And I have a lot of trauma from that, I will admit. But there was something about, like, when I was at my dad's house, it was very, have a good day at school. And I appreciate that because I can now come to the realizations of that era was not it. But it was so, it was so precious to me because I found out who I was and what I liked. And I always say this, like, I truly believe we are our 16-year-old selves. Like, not much changes from when we were 16 to now in terms of, like, basic things about our personality, the things we like and dislike, and why, you know, like, what we're drawn to. And so it was very fun. That whole era, too, I started to discover bluegrass. Like, I was deeply into Arctic Monkeys, the 1975, The Neighborhood, all that shit, Five Sauce, One Direction. But then at the same time, I started to, discover Dolly Parton. And I discovered the Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou soundtrack. I discovered Ralph Stanley, you know, all these, like, bluegrass legends. It was really, really important to me. And it's so funny because I still, I feel that way. It's just morphed and changed, but it's still at its core the same, like, the things that I gravitate towards. So I feel very, all that to say, this is a thought that I would like to share. That's X-E-R-O. Xero brings accounting, payments, payroll, and analytics together in one platform, giving you a clear picture of your business. With reports, visual dashboards, forecasts, and AI insights, Xero can help you better understand your cash flow and what's coming in and going out. Join Xero, and you can learn more about Xero. Five million customers worldwide who use Xero to manage their finances. Here's a hint. Do it with Lenox. Xero is a great place to start your self. Remember, when you give a gift that lasts beyond the holidays, it's an amazing feeling. I feel very sad for teenagers today, and not even to mention middle schoolers and younger, of these kids who are being raised with a device in their hand and a way different way than like we were as, you know, Gen Z. or millennials of like, it was almost, if it wasn't monitored, then it was at least limited because all this shit hadn't dropped yet. You know, AI generated content and all the data breaches, all the things that when you sign up to use TikTok, all the things you are agreeing to, all the data it's collecting from you, like these kids have no fucking shot. They have no chance. And the content they're being fed, I mean, we got it pretty bad on Tumblr or Instagram or whatever of the Instagram baddie or like Tumblr, ED Tumblr, like eating disorders were the tea on Tumblr. And that was a weird thing to navigate, the whole American apparel skinny girl thing. Now, bitch, it has spiraled. It has gotten so unmanageable that it's no longer this like weird subliminal. It's this subculture of like, all right, if you want to do that, that go stay over there. But it's not being forced on my throat. It is everywhere now. Like, and I know obviously, like, I don't really want to harp on this, but women have never been more picked apart. And that's saying a lot because tabloid culture of the 90s and like this shit is what killed Amy Winehouse. It's what killed, you know, Janis Joplin, like all these things of just women in media are so terrorized. They are picked. And it drives them into the arms of substance abuse and it drives them into these things that ultimately destroy them. And it is so horrible. And to think that these things are now being fed to children, literal children on the internet and no one's protecting them. No one's protecting them from what the internet is. Even I, as a full blown adult, I'm like, fuck me. I shouldn't be able to see some of this stuff. It's just too much. We should not have this much access to everything, everywhere, all at once. And kids don't have that level of discernment of either A, this isn't real. B, I should stop watching this. Or C, I should report this content. They don't have any of those filters, internal filters. So God, it just terrifies me. And I mean, specifically in the fashion and beauty, more terrorizing shit. Like it is just, truly scary. And I mourn for them. And I really don't have a solution. It's just, it's gotten so out of hand. And these kids are not being allowed to develop who they are, to try things out because we live in a surveillance state. Everything is recorded forever. And that's coming from me who does this for a job. Everything I say is recorded online. There's tons of stuff I wish I could take back. There's tons of stuff that I wish never existed, that stayed in the confines of the drafts. Or my own whatever. That's not an option anymore. You know, like these kids, it's, you're performing yourself. And that is scary. So if you have the choice to not have to do that, or to not post everything about your life, every thought, every whatever, don't. Don't. Especially in terms of like getting a job. These people go through your fucking social media now. Like I just, my friends who are offline or like, oh, I don't see, I deleted TikTok. I deleted it I'm like, how fucking lucky are you? How lucky are you? You get to unplug. Most days I wish I didn't have social media, but then it's like, but I, my career is social media. Everything I love is on social media. And, and the things that are horrific are also on social media. So what do you, you know, it's just this impossible place we find ourselves in. And the people I am the most worried for are the kids. And I don't know what to do about it. I really don't. And the laws are not keeping up with the rapid changes on what's happening on social media. Like we can't manufacture legislature or legislation to, you know, keep these things in line. Cause it's the fucking wild west and it's just getting worse. Anyway, I just, I really, I know a lot of y'all listening are, I hope you're not in high school. My God. If you're in high school, listen to me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But also grand scheme of things, probably not that bad. You could be listening to way worse shit. And I hope that this podcast inspires you to continue education, to discover who you are, to not let people tell you who you are and what you should be. You know, all these they feel like empty platitudes, but at the same time, the message is so serious. We are constantly fed, especially as women, what we should care about, what we should look like, what we should change, what we should do to ourselves, what we should do to our bodies. And none of it is true. None of it has any validity. Harry Styles had a, quote recently where I was like, okay, go off. He said, I can't listen to comments, the good or the bad ones, because neither are true. Okay. Work, bitch. Okay. Hold on. Work. That is true. So it's just, you know, I hope that what this podcast offers in the slightest is an allowance or a green check mark, a go ahead to, to do, you freak your shit, do what you want to do. And you don't have to post it and record it. Like I'm talking about in real life, try things out, like do things that make you happy and discover who you are. Or if you feel separated from who you are, if you feel distanced from who you used to be and you mourn that disconnect, then find it again. Like that is just something really missing from today's social media landscape. And that's why these companies understand that. And they weaponize it. They really, really have weaponized and bastardized these words like authenticity, relatable, all these things that are like, yeah, of course that's what people are craving in a post COVID world. We just want connection. We want normal ass people. And it is so rare to find that. So like when you do hold onto it, I feel so lucky. I have people like Drew and Caleb that are fucking normal. They're normal. Cause it's just like, wow, this job makes you be not normal. And it makes you only think about yourself all of the time. And it's not just me. It's everyone on social media. You're only thinking about what you should post, what, how you are, you know, positioning yourself, what you're presenting, what you're showing to the panopticon. Like it is so the mind fuckery is a different level. It is just a different level of existence that humans were not meant to see this much shit. We're not supposed to take in this much information. That was my rant. This episode of the broski report is sponsored by rocket money. So a part of my job and interviewing celebrities is watching the movies or shows that they've been in. And some of these shows or movies are so obscure. I have to find them on random streaming services or subscription add-ons to a streaming service that they of course make me pay for, or I do the free trial, but then, and this is my favorite part. I forget I did that. And then they charged me 12, 99 every month until I remember to stop paying for it. Lucky for me, rocket money can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app with a few taps, giving users an easy way to stop paying for things they don't use. On top of that, you can actually set budgets and goals, get personalized insights and regular reports and receive real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. Rocket money is a. Personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills. So you can grow your savings. Let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocket money.com slash broski report. That's rocket money.com slash broski report rocket money.com slash broski report. Anyway, that's why we live in a surveillance state. Panopticon detach yourself from the panopticon rant. Thank you for listening to the podcast. Let's keep going. Leg warmers. Leg warmers. Look, I think leg warmers are cute. I watch a lot of ballet content and they obviously they wear leg warmers for a purpose to keep their muscles warm while they're warming up and like before they go into a performance, but I'm kind of feeling like leg warmers could be cute. I know they were huge in the eighties. Obviously every fashion trend comes back, but yeah, leg warmers, maybe leg warmers peeking out of boots. Okay. I don't know about, I'd have to see it done well to really have an opinion on it. So we'll say maybe flat brim hats, Curtis Conard, diva, sleigh boots, eat it down. Yes. Harry Styles dupe. No one was wearing a flat brim hat quite like Curtis Conard and Harry Styles were in 2013, 2014. I mean, wow, wow, wow. Flat brim hat. My name is Carmen Winstead. I'm scared of a flat brim hat. No good can come of a flat brim hat. I feel the same way about, um, those fucking, the man bun with the beard, the like that meme of millennial burger joint. That's like a $27 burger. And you're sitting on those uncomfortable ass metal stools with the Einstein bulbs. And the dude serving you has a man bun and a beard. Like that is to me, it's an offshoot of that. Like you have no business. We are young. Hey, there's a fire in our soul. That's flat brim hat to me. I don't want to fucking see that shit. it never comes back. It has never been cool. Actually, let me say something. Flat brim hats is male gaze for the male gaze. The only men think that shit is cool. I promise you, bro, they are wearing that to impress other men because why? They're gay. Because men are gay. Like, I have never once looked at a man in a flat brim hat and been like, ooh, okay, punk is spice. Like, I'm not. I'm not. Yeah. All right. Flat brim hats, gay. In the most real sense. I don't mean that as like a whatever. I mean, if you wear that, you are doing that for other men. All right, moving on. Flannel. Hello? Hello? Hello? A flannel specific. Specifically tied around the waist. Tied around the waist. That was the tea and it kind of gave you like a, ooh, waist, fake hips, ooh, padding. That was tea. I feel like now you tie anything around the waist, you look like a mom on a hike. I don't like anything tied around the waist. I think it looks bad. I think it looks really, really bad. Don't do that. Tie it around your shoulders. That's the alternative. We're not tying shit around our waist anymore. It's not giving. That's luxe. That's luxe by Rosalia. Slouchy suede boots. You know, eh. If they're done right, sure. But what's like, I don't know, this shit, when it's too trendy like that, it just does not age well. I'm also thinking of the, what the fuck were those? Were those Prada? What were the boots where it looked like a wide brim pant that came over the boot, but it's connected to the boot? It's part of the leather. You know what I'm talking about? Those did not age well. That's like the IG fashion baddie shit that just, it almost looks cheap now. I don't know. How can you be wearing all that expensive shit? Fit costs $28,000 and you look cheap. It looks like Fashion Nova. I don't know. It's boots like that where I'm like, I don't, I just. So the slouchy suede boots, I'm going to say leave it. Chunky sweater. Eternal. Evergreen. Love a chunky sweater. But now, chunky sweater, no skinny jeans. Okay. I know outfits are all about proportion, but chunky sweater, I would do like a boot cut or like a pointy shoe, a pointy boot under it, hair up, right? Like there needs to be balance and proportion to the outfit. It can't be chunky sweater and baggy pant that makes you look frump. It's giving frump city, mayor of frumpville. There needs to be proportion. And like, if that's the kind of, you know, messy part of the outfit, everything else needs to be really straight lines and like really pretty. Take it from me, bitch. Look at me. Okay. Chevron. Leave it behind. I don't want to see Chevron. I started to see that shit come back in 2020. I said, absolutely not. Absolutely fucking not. Chelsea boots. Leave it behind. I'm really, really over it. They were everywhere. They were so overdone by both men and women, by, everybody, everybody was wearing a damn Chelsea boot in 2014. I don't want to see it. And I mean that I don't think I they'll, they are going to come back. I don't think they should statement necklaces. These are already back. I follow this girl again. I'm so bad with names. I always be like, I don't follow this girl on TikTok who does, but y'all might know her, or you could look it up. She does the mystery jewelry jars. And I think she's Spanish or Italian and she's real quiet and she's real fashionable, but she's real quiet and she's very dainty and she mystery jewelry jar. I keep, I don't keep. You'll know her when she, cause that'll, I honestly just nailed that. As she goes through these mystery jewelry jars and she's like, she'll try it on whatever. And she'd go, I don't keep, but she always keeps these like chunky statement earrings or necklaces. And I'm like, bitch, that is so ugly. And then she puts it on with an outfit and I'm like, Oh my God. Like she's kind of turned me on to some shit. I don't know. Cause chunky statement necklaces back in like 2013. They were just done so poorly, like with the big owl or everything had angel wings on it, or like an Eiffel tower, or it was just gaudy and really ugly colors. Like it was pastels or almost neons. Like I just, but the way she does it, I'm like, okay, work. Now she's also very thin and I think clothes and jewelry and everything looks very different on a thin body than on a mid-size to plus size to extended size body. But at the same time, if a fit is a fit, it's a fit. That game they used to play, is it fashion or is she just skinny? So I don't know. We'll see statement necklaces. Maybe mint green flop. Don't want to see it. Skater skirts. I love a skater skirt. I think a skater skirt with an off the shoulder, anything go to Disney. Like go, oh, you're having a park day. I think it's cute. Flower crowns. I mean, I, I look back and I'm like, I can't believe we were wearing that shit outside. Like Coachella. Sure. ACL. Okay. Lollapalooza. Okay. Yeah. Bring that shit back. Renaissance festival. Duh. But like to Starbucks, you're wearing that like on a, on a friend trip to, to the restaurant. I don't know, girl. Hey, we're 30. Hey queen, go ahead and take that flower crown off. Hey, are you feeling okay? Hey, no, we just, can I talk to you outside? We just noticed you were wearing a tiara at dinner and we were just kind of wondering like, is everything okay? Like with work and oh, oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. We were just wondering, you know, because you came in wearing elf ears and a tiara and we were just didn't know if it was a joke or if it was like, oh, it wasn't a joke. No, no, no. We think you look gorgeous. We're, we are just a little concerned about your mental health is all. That's, that's what that gives. Peter Pan collars. Evergreen. The under a t-shirt work. Okay. Or not a t-shirt under like a sweater or a long sleeve, whatever. I do think they're cute. They're very feminine. I personally go for just a classic, you know, button up. If I'm going to do the whole collar under a shirt thing, but a Peter Pan collar work. I also just became hyper aware of my hands and how I've been moving them this whole episode. And I've just feel like if you pinned my arms down, I couldn't form a thought. What is that? Can any like psycho therapist people tell me why, why do we talk with our hands? Crackle nail polish. That's going to be a no. That is very of its time. Again, like I think of Marnie from girls. She is like millennial girl boss queen, bitch. Like the way she would dress, she would dress like a girl boss queen. She would dress like a girl boss queen. Crackle. Essie, all that shit. Like the accent nail. I also, here's my hot take. No. And before I say this, here's my tradition. I am a nail traditionalist. I always just have nude or French tip nails. Okay. I think they go with everything. I like, they elongate my fingers because I have my dad's hands. I just think they're super feminine and I don't have to worry about, oh, they don't match my outfit or they're going to ruin this, whatever. They also, when they grow out, they look a bit more natural than if you have a color on. But look, I also used to do long red nails. I used to do crazy fucking cheetah, you know, like Barbie nails. I used to, all of it. I just feel like I'm 30 now. It's different. I have different tastes, which is also fun because in 10, you know, five years, I'll probably go back to wearing color. I don't know. But for right now, what I don't think will age well is each nail being something different. Do you know what I mean? That's a, when people do the nail trends, vision videos or whatever, like you'll have it themed, but each nail is something different. I think also nail art is just so expensive. People are going to start learning to do it themselves again. And people already are like with the UV gel curing at home and like whatever, which I encourage, I encourage learn, learn an art and do it. And you'll save yourself so much money. I used to do my nails in high school and college because I was fucking broke and I couldn't afford it. And I would do it myself and it looked fine. And it was fun. It was something to do with my hands. I just really feel like the, the, each finger being a different design is that's very 2026. It's very like early 2020s. I don't know. I don't know. Infinity signs that did not age well, did it at all, at all. What's something that probably is like, Oh, you know, it's not going to age well at all for this generation, cyber sigilism. I don't know, girl. I think that shit looks bad. It's cool. If you mean it, like if you mean that shit, then own it, stand on it. Like fine. If that's your personality, you're kind of like, then if this is your thing, then yeah, I believe you. But these people being like performative cyber, cyber. These people who do performative cyber sigilism tattoos. Cause I see through you, girl. I see through you. It has to be authentic. So I don't, I think that's going to be like in 20 years, you're going to be 43 being like, why did I get, why is my entire body covered in cyber-sigillism? I think you're going to regret it. So that's kind of my whole thing. All right. That's kind of my whole thing. That's my take on millennial fashion. That's my take on current Gen Z. And don't even get me started. You know, what I really find interesting is a lot of the fashion trends that people love now are just very muted. Like it's just boring. It's boring as shit. I want people to dress like themselves. I want you to wear what makes you feel good. What you think is cool. What you think is flattering. Like, I think that that is so, I would much rather see that and be like, damn, she looks cool as fuck. I never would have thought of that versus following this formulaic, outfit thing that TikTok feeds you. And I hate that shit. Look up, I looked up my prime outfit, my Zodiac outfit on TikTok. Don't do that. Wear what you want to wear or wear what you think is cool. Honestly, dude, Pinterest is my tea. Like I look up my body type and like makeup for my eye color and my eye shape on, on Pinterest, because that has helped me more than anything. Like, okay. Yeah, I can like that. I love Kim Kardashian's makeup, but bitch, that's not, what it's going to look like on me. Damn. If I show a reference of Megan Thee Stallion to my makeup artist, I'm not going to look like that. So, so I just really am such an advocate for find what you like and develop it further. Okay. Not what people are telling you you should like, not what people are telling you. Cool girls, kind of chic to shut the fuck up. Okay. And that's just how I feel about it. So let's go ahead and get into housekeeping. This was my favorite song, or we'll start with a song of the week. My favorite song over the summer when I took my break was, and I realized I never mentioned it here, but it's probably, it's definitely going to be on my Spotify wrapped when a good man cries by C-MAT. However, I fucking love C-MAT, but Olivia Rodrigo's version, dude. Olivia Rodrigo is truly, like top five talents of this generation. Like she is going to be a defining artist of this generation. And I'm thrilled for her. I'm thrilled for her. I think she is so deserving of it. When a Good Man Cries by C-MAT. That whole, the chorus of, that whole melody is so, I just got chills thinking about it. Unbelievable. And the harmonies and the stacking, I just, it is a masterclass in production. I'm just I love C-MAT. I am rewatching Leah, Serena, and Janae's season of Love Island, USA. And it is giving me my life, bitch. Cause I watched it as it was coming out. And then I didn't watch the following seasons. Cause I was like, nothing. I don't care about these people. I only care about like Leah, Serena, and Janae. And I'm rewatching it. And obviously I know everything that happens, but I've forgotten so much. No, it's just fun. Like I put it on when I'm crafting or I'm cleaning the house. And it's just like, it's tea when I want to turn my brain off. I just watch it. And I love it. And I love Leah. I watch Leah's YouTube videos all the time. I love her and Miguel. What I'm looking forward to. I'm excited for it to cool off in California. I really am. I want to sit outside and I want to wear a sweater and I want to look at the moon and I want to light a cinnamon candle. I'm literally like, I'm gooning thinking about it. I really just want to smell a cinnamon candle. I want to drink a pumpkin drink and goon. I want to goon and I want to read a spooky Victorian book. That's what I'm looking forward to. Things that I'm loving. Okay. It's funny because in this whole, like we're talking about trends and topical stuff and whatever, and I'm fully aware this is not going to age well, but I'm loving this because I'm loving making them bag charms. Oh dude. And this is how I know, like I resisted the bag charm thing for so long because I was like, I don't, this is so of its time. Then I started making bag charms, like with my pliers and shit. And I have beads and charms and plushies. And I bought a mini drill. So that I can turn any trinket or figurine into a fucking key chain. I'm getting my life. I'm getting my life from it. So I have all these little Snoopy trinkets and whatever, and I'm turning into bag charms. I got Snoopy on my thing. I got Snoopy on my bag. It's so fun. But yeah, fucking sue me. I make them. So at least I'm not buying them and they're just sitting somewhere. I'm making them and I give them to my friends. So, all right, y'all. That'll probably be the end of this video. I'll see you in the next one. Bye. Do it for me this week. Go ahead and subscribe to this channel. Rate it five stars. If you haven't, if you want to, I'm not going to make you, I don't give a shit. Go watch Royal Court, my celebrity interview show, and go subscribe to that channel. If you would like to, we've got some amazing guests coming up and have had. And Patreon, go subscribe to the Patreon. We're doing fan submissions. Now, if you have anything that you want me to talk about or look up or read or watch or listen to on the pod, go subscribe to the Patreon. Bye. over there. We're going to start incorporating fan submissions and I'm, you know, you might get a shot. You might get a shot to come up here on this green screen. Okay. Also ad free that we upload the podcast every single week, ad free on Patreon for very, very cheap. And cause I know some of y'all don't like to sit through ads and I don't blame you, but it's how mama makes the cash. Okay. It's how mama bought this set and it's how mama has this laptop. So I really, really appreciate it. And, uh, totally. I totally get it. So head over to the Patreon if you want to, and I love y'all very much. Thank you for watching and thank you for giving a shit about what I have to say, because who does? I don't even give a shit about what I have to say sometimes, most times. So, uh, I love y'all to death and I will see you next week and happy fall. Silver bells. It's around the corner. Okay. Bye. I'll see you next time.