Speaker 1So today is a great example of, I don't really feel like doing a podcast episode today, but I need to, so I'm going to show up anyways. I'd rather be sitting on the couch or working on something else because this gets exhausting after a while and I just don't feel like doing it. I can't tell you how many times in my life, in recovery, in life, but recovery especially, I don't feel like doing the things I ought to be doing, but I do them anyways because I know the alternative and it gets real dark real quick for me, but the alternative is sitting in my head and eventually thinking about using and drinking. It goes that fast and it may not happen right away, but the more I neglect my recovery program and the things I ought to be doing in recovery and in life, the faster I'm headed down the wrong path. So here I am. Today, we're going to do another episode on a speaker tape that I absolutely, really love from a guy named Earl and it's called The Path to Freedom. This guy is one of my favorites. Again, if you don't, I'll send you the episode if you want. Just send me a message on Instagram at Recovering Out Loud Pod on Instagram and TikTok. I'm on YouTube as well, YouTube Shorts. Send me a message. I will send you the podcast, the tape, as these are tapes that have helped shape my recovery. They helped me today. They helped me get out of my head and so I'm going to go through this one. I'm going to read the quote. I'm going to read the quotes that I love out of it that I've taken out of the transcript and I'm going to reflect on them and tell you what they mean to me and why they're important. Welcome to, welcome back or welcome to Recovering Out Loud Podcast. My name is Anthony. I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I have been in recovery since 2015. I relapsed after seven and a half years sober on steroids, secrets, and ADHD medication and I'm here today almost at a year and a half again to bring you the recovery content that helps me stay sober and hopefully helps you stay sober. Or just even. Shift perspective because that's what recovery is all about. Just shifting perception. Looking at things a different way. Maybe I'm wrong about said thing and maybe I can open my mind to new ideas and new concepts so that I can stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety or addicts. If you're not following the podcast, please follow on Apple or Spotify or YouTube. I would greatly appreciate it. Okay, first. So, Earl says, There was so much time and energy in my life spent in the pursuit of building a mask, a facade, a false self that I presented to the world that I had absolutely no concept of what it really meant to be human, to be a man. I don't want to present myself as a tough guy anymore. It's a worn out mask and I'm no longer interested in it. So, this goes back to the whole idea of the stage character that we, alcoholics and addicts, present. In addiction and in recovery. I'm going to present this version of myself that I think you'll like, that I think you'll accept. And I'm wearing 10 different masks if I'm a part of 10 different circles or 10 different groups. Because here's the guy I want to be over here. I want to be Mr. Tough Guy over here. I want to be Mr. Funny Guy over here. I want to be Mr. Compassionate. Whatever role I need to play for you to accept and love me, I'm going to play that role. I'm always in fear of being rejected. Fear of being accepted. So, I'm going to wear this mask. I'm going to wear this mask around you. I'm going to wear this different mask around my family because I want them to think that I'm okay and I'm not addicted to drugs and alcohol. And that my life is under control and that I'm functioning and that I'm showing up to work. When I go to work, I'm going to wear this mask and be the all-together guy. Whatever that looks like for you. We wear masks and we can do it in sobriety, in recovery as well. The tough guy mask for a lot of men and maybe women too, we play this role of being tougher than we actually are. And not having problems. And this is how I relapsed after seven and a half years. I was going to my recovery community, events, meetings, and I was showing up as this tough guy that had it all together. I didn't have problems. I didn't have unmanageabilities. And I certainly wasn't going to tell you about them because I've got it under control, guys. And so, I'm leading this double life. I am trying to do things on my own. I am not relying on my community. I've got it. I've got this under control. Ego has taken over because my ego doesn't want me to be vulnerable. It doesn't want me to be. It doesn't want me to be seen in a vulnerable light, in a weak. I think it's weak to be vulnerable. That's my default. And so, when I come into recovery, I have to rewire that old thought, that old behavior, that old pattern of, you know what? People actually like you more when you show up as your authentic self, when you tell the truth, when you get honest with them because they can relate to you more. And you're actually helping them and helping yourself by being yourself, being honest, being authentic, sharing about what's bothering you and how you're getting through it, asking for help. I share about something. I share about specifics in my recovery and on this podcast and in my life because there's someone out there that needs to know how to recover from relapse after long-term sobriety or somebody that needs to know if steroids are a good option or if ADHD medication is a good option for them. This is my experience. I'm not going to tell you not to do it or that it is bad or good or anything. I'm simply going to share my experience, continue to show up and share my experience with the hopes that it helps one person. And all that suffering is not for not it. I went through all of that for a reason. It was a terrible experience and I don't wish it upon anybody, but now I have a gift to offer other people that are struggling with it. Share your truth, get open and honest. Somebody needs to hear your story, your experience. You might be the only lighthouse that person sees in recovery. Next, he says, who you get introduced to when you're in here. Is you in your, as in recovery in the space meetings, whatever your thing is, not who you think you got to be the mask. You get to find out what being a man is being a person is being a human is he says, man, because he's a man. So one more time, who you got introduced to when you're in here is you not who you think you got to be the mask. You get to find out what being a man is. Recovery allows me to strip back the layers of the onion to really. Get to the bottom level, the deeper level of who I am, why I do the things that I do, why I have certain resentments or certain patterns or behaviors that I exude that I do. Recovery has taught me that who I am and has given me the ability to love that version of myself, the true version of myself. I think a lot. I'm an overthinker. I'm an over planner. I am a future tripper. I'm somebody that is constantly in fear of what is coming. The unknown. And so recovery has taught me spirituality has taught me to be okay with that, to accept and love that truth about myself because it's not going anywhere. I'm not going to change it. It's going to get quieter, but it's who I am inherently. I plan for the future. I take precautions. I am afraid. Fear is something that we outgrow. It's not something that just disappears. It's something that I build courage around and push through my nature. So next he says my nature. I am. I'm not a violent man. That's not the first card that I go to. I'm a frightened man. And as a result, I have been very violent in my life. So this is, goes back to that last podcast where I talked about Bob talking about not being a liar. We are not inherently bad people. We do these things out of fear. Fear runs my life. If unchecked in addiction, it runs my life 24 seven, because I don't have a recovery program to fall back on, to lean into, to use fear will run my life. If I. Let it, we are not violent people. We are not bad people. We are not bad parents. We are being run on fear and addiction loves fear. It's fear's best friend. Next. He says, apparently your commitment to nonviolence is contingent upon what somebody else does or doesn't do. If you're going to make a commitment to a way of life, it's going to have to be a commitment that you decide that's how you're going to be. It's not contingent upon what other people do or don't do. Oh, this is a good one. I love this. The idea that I can be who I'm meant to be, who I want to be without relying on other people's reception or beliefs or judgment. If I'm going to decide to be this way, I'm going to commit to a way of life. It doesn't, it's not contingent on outside circumstances anymore. It's not contingent on what other people think of me or how I'll be perceived or that person's comment on social media about me. It might self-worth. It cannot be contingent on external factors, experiences, comments, sayings, beliefs from others. I have to be okay within, in my own skin. I have to find who I am in recovery and love that version of myself. Then he says, how many guys go to sleep in prison at night? They really wish they hadn't done that. Really didn't want to do that, but didn't have an alternative. Didn't have an option that was available to them. This is so important. Let's reflect on this for a moment. I want you to think about all the people that are in prison as a result of their drug use or alcohol use. As a result of their addiction, they've made some bad choices or anybody in prison, anyone that's gotten in trouble before. Maybe you've gone to prison. Think about how many people did not get the chance we got to recover, to find recovery, to find a program of people, whether it's a treatment center or detox or a 12-step community or smart recovery. A lot of people don't get this chance. I was in a treatment center in Utah one time and I remember one of the people in there was saying, you know, it's not fair. fair that I'm in here. It's not fair that I have this addiction thing. It's not fair. Life's not fair that I've gotten in trouble with my parents and now I have to be here and I don't want to be here. Life's not fair. And I'll never forget this. One of the counselors looked around the room and said, guys, girls, people, if life was fair, we, because she was in recovery herself, would all be dead or in jail. I want you to think about that for a moment. How many people made a mistake that they wish they didn't do and they think about it every single night and now they're paying the consequence, the ultimate consequence, death, jail, and you're not one of them. Be grateful today. Be grateful that you haven't experienced this yet or that you're on the other side of it. You have an alternative available to you in recovery communities, programs, whatever your recovery community or program is. Whatever works for you, stick with it. Do it. Good. If it's 12-step, great. If it's smart recovery, if it's Buddhist recovery practice, mindfulness practice, running, gym, those things didn't work for me. I had to find a recovery community where I could work and show up at and rely on people and have mentorship and stay connected with every week. I had to go to rehab to find that community. And I'm grateful that I did because a lot of people don't have the opportunity I had, have today. What are you going to do? It's up to you. The choice is yours. Okay, next he says, the greatest compliment I can pay any man in this society is that he is kind, but he is overly kind. And then he goes on to talk about this mentor of his, Luther. He says, Luther is nice to people regardless of how they behave because Luther's decided he's going to be a kind man. That's what he's going to bring to the table. He says, Luther is nice to people regardless of how they behave because Luther's decided he's going to be a kind man. That's what he's going to bring to the table. He says, Luther is nice to people regardless of how they behave because Luther's decided he's going to be a kind man. That's what he's going to bring to the table. This is what he's bringing. And you can't knock him off that. You can't knock him off center. So this goes back to the whole, decide who you want to be, who you're going to be in this world in recovery and stick with it. Stick to your moral. What are your morals and values? What's important to you? If family is important to you, go spend time with your family and be the best version of yourself around family. If friends are the top of your priority list, go and hang out with your friends and be the best version. What can you bring to those events? Not what can I get? What can I bring to these events, these communities, these experiences? How can I benefit others instead of what can I get, get, get, get, get from this? Move from, I had to move from taker to giver and I don't do it perfectly. And I constantly have to check myself today. I try to give more than I try, than I take. Leave the world a better place than when you arrived. The great next thing he says, the greatest thing a samurai can do is sheath his sword, not draw it, not fight, but be the guy that's got such a sense of balance, such a sense of peace and centeredness about him that just being in the presence of that smooths things around him. We all have people like this. If you've been in recovery circles, recovery communities, rehabs, treatment centers, we all have people that we can, hopefully you have people that you can rely on that just bring a sense of ease and comfort to you. Being around them feels good. You can be that person for others. I have a person in my life, one of my mentors. Every time I'm around him, I feel calm. I feel at ease. I can breathe. I feel safe and comfortable and I want to be like him. And so I model my actions after what he does. I think to myself, what would Jay do in a lot of these situations when I'm thinking about my next decision? How can I be like him? How can I be like him? How can I be more spiritual? Find a spiritual person in your life, somebody that has what you want, and then model after them. Do what they did. Ask them how they got through certain things. You can be that ease and comfort for other people. You might already be that ease and comfort for other people. You just don't know it yet or you're too modest. If you act rightly and whatever rightly means to you, acting rightly, this will happen naturally. You will just provide this sense of stability for others and peace and comfort. And what a gift that is, man. That's all I ever wanted in this world was to just be of use, to be at peace in my own head. What a great gift. The greatest buzz in recovery, Earl often says this, the greatest buzz, greatest high to get in recovery is got received through helping others. That is the greatest buzz we have here. Okay. Next he says, I want to be strong enough as a man to be gentle with myself and with other human beings. I want to bring kindness to the table. That thing that I see as being the most elusive thing in my society is a consistent and ongoing kindness. What a hot commodity, what a needed rare commodity in our society today. Kindness, being a kind human. I think there's inherently a difference between being nice, being a nice guy and letting people walk all over you. Just being a people pleaser is being a nice guy, being a nice person to being kind. Being kind is standing on what you stand on and what you believe in, not backing down and not being a doormat, but being a kind human. There's a difference. I can be kind and be firm with other people. I can be kind and be assertive. I can be kind and still have people not like me, but I can do it with kindness. I can act as a kind man or kind woman or kind person. The most elusive thing in my society today, in our society today is a consistent and ongoing kindness. All we have control over is our own actions. So be that version of kindness that you want to see in the world. What does Gandhi always say? Change the world by, I'm going to screw that. I don't even know the quote, but be the version of yourself you want to see the change in the world. I'm going to look it up because I don't want to misquote the great Gandhi. I think it's be the change you want to see in the world. I'm going to look it up because I don't want to see the change you want to see in the world. Okay. This isn't what I was thinking, but here's another one. Oh, this is from someone else. Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Ian McLaren, 1897. Yeah, I was right. Be the change you wish to see in the world. This is a paraphrase apparently. The closest actual quote is from a 1913 writing. If we could change ourselves, the conditions of the world would also change. Similar, but not exactly the same. I like, so next thing he says, I like being Earl. I like being strong enough in my commitments that I don't need to impose or inflict harm upon you. I'm a free man now, and I want to walk the earth as such with my head high. I don't bow or kneel to anyone, kowtow, bow or kowtow to anyone, but neither do I trespass in their lives. So yeah, there's, we can be a kind humans, and still not be walked all over and be doormats. Okay, next. I believe to forgive someone is to release them from the prison of your mind. I would hope that this person that I've harmed, who has resented me all this time, is able to release me from the prison of their mind, so that by forgiving me, they benefit. I don't go around seeking forgiveness from people. It's, that's not something that I can impose on somebody. I can simply forgive and free myself from the prison of my own mind. If you have a resentment in your life, you will notice that it is something that constantly, resent is to relive, refeel, constantly coming up. It'll keep you locked in that prison of your mind, and it is deadly for us addicts, alcoholics. Forgive somebody. Forgive that person you're not willing to forgive. It is for you, not for them. This also reminds me of another quote or time. I heard a talk from Sandy, another member of Recovery, that says, fairness is a one-way street. Fairness is not something that I look to get from the world or people. I can simply dish out, dole out for fairness. I can be a fair person and not expect it in return. If I get taken from five, for five or 10 bucks here or there, I can let that person go. I don't have to dwell on it, but I can be, I can know that deep in my heart, I was fair. It was fair. I can expect it in return because we know expectations are nothing but premeditated resentments, resentments under construction. If I expect from you, I'm going to be pissed off. If I expect from the world, I'm going to be pissed off and resentful, and I'm going to be stuck in my head over and over, replaying that anger, that fear, that hate until I drink. Okay, next he talks about progress, not perfection. So these are absolutes, and a lot of us have a tendency toward perfectionism. Do I want to be an honest man? Yes. Am I a hundred percent totally an honest man? Without question, no. Progress, not perfection. I am not perfect. We are not saints. I am moving toward a goal, destiny of being an honest man, destination of being an honest man. And so when I make a mistake, I make amends for it. I own up to it. I apologize, make amends right away. Promptly admit that I was wrong about whatever I was wrong about. If I lied, I promptly admit it. Hey, you know, I made a mistake there. I lied to you about that. I wasn't telling the truth. These simple little things will shift your recovery and make you feel connected to this power greater than ourselves, whatever that is for you. Next he says, sometimes self-centered fears activated several of my defects of character. So sorry, sometimes self-centered fears activated several of my defects of character and it's all over the room before I can gather it up and hold onto it. It happens. I'm moving in the right direction. So yes, this is one of those things where when I act out, when I yell at somebody, when I freak out on the street or when I'm, I don't know, I yell at somebody, Uber bike driver riding down the sidewalk at full speed and I freak out on him before sometimes my anger and aggression just stumbles and falls right out of my mouth onto that person. I do something that I'm watching myself try to grab before it's too late and I do it. Don't beat yourself up. Admit your fault. Move on. Next he talks about promptly admitting wrongs. It says when you're wrong, promptly admit it. There's a reason for that. I'll turn my wrongs into resentment toward others and I will fester and I will die. I have fallen short and I feel ashamed. I will hold you responsible for the shame that I am feeling and I will kill myself with my alcoholism. I got to get out. My sponsor told me if your lips are moving, you're lying. So this is an important part where if I don't admit that I'm wrong or I don't ask for forgiveness to my higher power, not to the other person, but to that, to my higher power and prayer or meditation, I will turn, he will turn his wrongs into resentment toward others. These are like monkeys on our back. We need to get rid of them. We need to clean our side of the street. As I mentioned in previous episodes, if your lips are moving, you're lying to me. That means this is an action program. This is not something that I can just, sorry, you say, sorry, sorry. I need to act my way into good thinking. I can't think my way into good action. Next he talks about meditation. Five to 10 minutes in the morning will change your life. It'll change how you look out of your skull. It will expand your impulse control. It will simply change your life. It will change how you look out of your skull. It will expand your impulse control. It will simplify and clarify your decision-making process. It'll bring a centeredness and a balance to your life. That is a mind blower. Yes, yes, yes. I found this to be a hundred percent true. I take 10 minutes out of my day. I use an app. It's called waking up. I had to pay for it, but I got a discount because I asked them for a discount. There's a scholarship option. Highly recommend following a meditation app. Guided meditation is huge for me. It changes the way I look at the world. It changes. It increases my time between wanting to do said thing that I shouldn't be doing or ought not to be doing and doing said thing. It pauses me in my tracks before it's too late. It helps me reflect before I react, respond before I react to situations in my life. I can notice consciousness around me as it exists in this moment and know that I am not separate from consciousness. It is, we are all one without getting too woo woo here. There is no me versus you. There is no me and you. It is us. This, everything that is happening as I speak to this microphone in this moment right now is consciousness. The guy honking the horn on the street outside is part of this moment. I am not separate from it. I am not a subject looking at an object. We are all one. Everything is one, one consciousness, and it only exists right here, right now. There is no future. There is no past. There is only right now. And that's why meditation helps. Channeling into that. Focus in on that. Acknowledge it. Be aware of it so that I am not distracted by my thoughts, so that I am not distracted by my phone. I am present and aware of what is going on in this moment right now. I can feel my ass sitting on this chair. I can feel my voice coming out of my throat. I can feel my stomach moving for me to breathe. I can feel my arms against the chair. Be here now. It might change your life. Next, he said, I don't understand God, but I see evidence of God on a daily basis. You see those little, you see those two little dogs running around in here? I have absolutely no idea how to make one of those from scratch. That's consciousness beyond my own. I don't understand life. I don't understand how things got created, and I don't need to. I just know that there is some sort of power greater than me. And whether you call it the universe, the sun, the sky, the lake, it is not me. It is not a human, any human. It is a guiding force, an inner teacher, a set of principles, a way of life, Allah, Buddha, God, whatever you want to call it. It's just not me. There are things I cannot explain in this world, and I do not try to. Bluetooth is a good example. I don't understand how my phone projects files wirelessly to my computer. I don't see it happening. There are people out there that understand how those mechanisms work. However, you cannot physically see the file being transferred from your phone to your computer. If you have a Mac or an Apple, I can't physically see how my phone is playing a song on Spotify to my speaker. I can't see it, but I believe that it's happening. I believe that Bluetooth is a real thing. And you want to say to me, well, that's because you can hear the music coming out of the speaker. So that's how you know there's proof of it. There's no proof of God. There's proof of God all around you. You just can't see it. There's no proof of God. There's no proof of God all around you. You just choose not to see it. There are moments in your life today, I guarantee you, that are miracles that you just don't notice because you're choosing not to notice them. I can look at any situation, scenario, any way I want. Everything is a blessing depending on the angle. Just choose to look at it that way. Decide that maybe there is something greater out there. I don't know what it is. And it doesn't have to be Jesus Christ. It doesn't have to be Muhammad or Allah. It doesn't have to be God. It doesn't have to be God. It doesn't have to be God. It's just not me. Okay, next he says, when I disengage from self and actually move towards you in an effort to be of service to you, however initially self-serving that desire or need may be, when I do that, I create room and I get to move into something else. Trust God, clean house, help others. That's the core of what we do here. Service is an essential part of my recovery program. When I am in service, when I'm sitting across the table from somebody new in recovery or somebody suffering in recovery or just somebody in recovery, I am not thinking about poor me and my problems, my perceived problems in life. I can step out of my shit and into yours. I can help you by simply showing up and listening. What a beautiful thing, beautiful opportunity we have in recovery here that most people don't ever get. You have an experience that you have suffered from that you can help others through. Wow. Most people can't do that. Most people don't get that opportunity. Okay, next he says, do not look at the cut of the slacks. Do not look at the sport coat, the great sports car, the beautiful blonde on his arm, all great stuff, but that's not where the magic lies. That's the way we get deceived. Look deeper and the key is the eyes. This is important for me, especially these days because I can get so caught up in the stuff and look at that guy. He has what I want. He has a nice house. He has a business. He has a successful podcast. It's so important for me to hang out with people that are simply working on themselves, people that have problems and are talking about it in their lives. I don't want to hang out with people that everything is perfect and life is amazing and I don't know anything about what's going on, their unmanageabilities because they're constantly telling me how perfect, amazing sobriety is. I don't want anything to do with that guy or girl. I want to hang out with the people that tell me about their problems. And not just complain, how they get through it because that's real, man. That is real. That is somebody that's honest, authentic, working on themselves and open. It's the reason we connect with so many people. I only connect with the creators on Instagram and social media that talk honestly and openly. I don't want to hear about how amazing sobriety is all the time. Sure, that's helpful for a lot of us. That's helpful to hear how beautiful it can be and it can be beautiful. I want to hear about the trenches you've dug through in sobriety, the struggles you've been through. I want to hear about how you ripped off some old lady at the grocery store and then had to apologize for it or stole from a cash register in recovery and didn't tell anybody about it for years and then made amends later and it was killing you. I want to hear about that shit, the real stuff. I want to hear about how you got through cancer diagnosis and how you got through your mom's death. That's the stuff I want to hear about. I don't want to hear about how pretty and beautiful and sunshine and rainbows your life is all the time. Get honest, get real, get authentic and more people will flock to you, will trust you and you will help them. I promise you. Next, he says, there will be many moments in your life where you will just out of the sheer weight of the beauty of it, drop to your knees and weep like a child because you're so overwhelmed with the gift that's been given to you that you know you don't deserve, that you'll never be able to repay. And you got it from what the rest of the world sees as the dregs of humanity, addiction and alcoholism. What a gift. I can't tell you how many times in my life I have stopped in the middle of a song, it usually happens, and just started crying out of sheer gratitude and beauty. How did I get here? My life isn't perfect by any means, but I am so grateful, so grateful in this moment. Thank you, God. I was driving, the other day and this happened to me where I did something, I had shown up to some some business meeting. And I was really proud of the presentation that I gave. I was driving to work to that thing. And I was thinking to myself, man, a year and a half ago, I couldn't even sleep in my own bed because my wife kicked me out because I was using drugs and I couldn't stop. And I was tearing the place apart literally and metaphorically. Today, I have the opportunity to build a business, to help other recovering addicts and alcoholics who are still struggling and suffering. I don't deserve this. How did I get here? I shouldn't be here. Well, the truth is you do deserve it because you put in the work. So keep going. But don't ever forget how beautiful of a gift addiction recovery can be if you work a program. Clean house, trust God, help others. This thing that I once thought was the end of my life is now the greatest gift in my life. The greatest superpower I have. What a blessing. How lucky are we? Don't ever forget that. Okay. And we're going to end with this, the dying man. So his closing story from this talk, he's talking about being on the deathbed of an alcoholic. He looked me right in the eyes, this is 23 years ago, and said, why? I don't have a drinking problem. And it just sucked all the air out of the room because it hit me. I have that disease. I have exactly the same disease that guy does. And I'm sitting here sober. And earlier today, I was complaining about having to drive down here. Shame on me. If you knew how many people are handed the gift and say, thank you and go die. Not everybody will get this thing. Not everybody recovers from alcoholism and addiction. Not everybody will take action against their best. Not everybody will take action against their best. And I'm sitting here sober. They're better thinking one day at a time. Some people just won't accept it. And it's a sad nature of this disease. It's a sad truth about addiction. The numbers are not in our favor. The next time you are ungrateful, and this is for me too, this stuff, I'm always talking to myself here. I need to hear this too. The moment I am ungrateful about having to go to my home group, my recovery meeting, because I don't want to be of service and show up early and it's past my bedtime and poor me. I don't want to do it. I don't feel like doing it. Just think about the guy that's on his deathbed dying from alcoholism and addiction because he wouldn't see it any other way. He simply had a drinking problem and didn't accept it and didn't take one action contrary to his best or her best judgment, best thinking. And that's what you're doing. That's all we're doing here. We're taking action one day at a time, contrary to our better thinking, our best thinking, our best judgment. I don't really know what's going to happen, but this guy's telling me to do this thing and get a service position and show up to my recovery group. So I'm just going to do it. I don't, he seems to be happy and sober. I'm just going to follow his direction. And then over and over consistently do those small things until one day you will want to do it. You will feel like doing it. You will be grateful that you are doing it. And you will move from, I have to do this thing to, I get to do this thing. Most people will never experience that. And I'm so grateful that I did and I have, and it's not perfect. And I told you at the top of this episode, a lot of this time, a lot of the time I'm ungrateful for this shit. I don't feel like doing recovery, but I do it anyways, because I know that this is a temporary season in my life. I know. That I need to do this stuff today so that when life continues to happen as it is, and things are happening that I don't agree with that are out of my control that I'm pissed off about, I can fall back on my recovery program, my recovery foundation and stay sober through anything and content through anything life throws at me. And the same is available for you. If no one has told you this yet today, I love you. And don't ever forget recovery is simple, not easy.
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