“The Masc Problem” with Tefi Pessoa | 99

What'd I say? If you have long hair with layers, no one thinks you're fucking gay. I have. Look at me. I have to go like. You know what I tell people? Should I eat pussy on Maine? What do you want from me? Fuck it, yeah. Sorry. Get the fuck. Hi, this is Peyton. And Hunter. And this is Let Me Say This from Higher Ground. Today, we are kind of mentioning it all, should I say? We're going to be talking about Miami, my DNA is MIA. We're talking about dating red flags, Love Island after sun, and what else? Oh, you're missing, you're bearing the lead. What are we talking about? Boston. No, Massachusetts. The COVID-conscious Western Massachusetts lesbian bar. We will be getting into it all. Someone has to. Legally, we had to. And we brought in a special guest. Yeah. Cut to the wide. So this is a little girl named Teffy Pessoa. Little girl. Host, writer, and good, good friend. Comedienne. Comedienne. And can I say, our first ever guest. No. Oh, wait, yeah. Yeah. On the original run. Oh, that's right. You were our first guest. Yes. What did we talk about? Nothing. It feels like years ago. Oh, wait. Honestly. We talked about Selena and Benny Blanco. Blanco? Benny Blanco. Yeah. Blanco. Fab name, low key. It is. It's made up, isn't it? Why am I just hearing that on my tongue for the first time? I'm like, that's fabulous. Well, sometimes you say someone's name out loud. Like when you meet somebody at a bar or whatever, and they say their name, they'll be like, oh, my name is like, I'm going to make this up, Marlon Brando or whatever. And you're like, that's a star's name. Someone said that once about Peyton Dix. Oh, they did. People say that a lot about Hunter Harris. Hunter Harris sounds like, you sound like you are, oh, because of Kamala. I was going to say, okay, got it. Oh, you sound like Kamala. I feel like I'm reporting live on the scene. Put the gun down. You kind of remind me of Kamala. Well, I mean, light skin, big forehead. If I got like an email. Loves to laugh. Okay. She does. She does. Can't really. No, I decide what I want. This is like her Kamala dance. Oh, wait. And I'm always saying, I love good news. I love good news. Her dance is actually, you're giving her like more hips than she has. She's stuck in the shoulders a bit. She goes like this. Well, she has a white husband, of course. Doug, let's talk about the husbands. Okay, Teffy, lover or hater? Me? Yeah. Love or hate Kamala? No. Do you? We got to move on past Kamala. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I was like, lover or hater. It's actually Michelle Obama, lover or hater. Do you consider yourself to be a lover or a hater in general? I consider myself to be a lover. Say more on that. That pregnant pause was crazy. Pregnant with emotion. I think that I. I think that when I first entered the internet landscape, I was a hater, but I think they have exhausted me because I feel as a woman online, I feel like a lot of people have these massive, massive followings from either the most intimate parts of their life or just ripping each other to shreds. So you can be, you can grow by showing like your divorce, your breakup, your engagement, your like first date. Your worst heartbreak, your pregnancy announcement, whatever. And then really bring people in like a docu-series almost, or you can be like a horrible hater and you have to stay that way. And then once you engage with that, you only get rage bait. And I think when I first came online, I was really, I mean, we're all like so unregulated after COVID. I feel like we're all like unmedicated, unregulated people walking around, but there's so much to be angry about all the time. And we put it all online. And I was like, I don't know. I was like, I need to listen to what people like more than what people don't like anymore because I'm starting to hate everything and see holes in everything and not being able to like enjoy a conversation without thinking, oh, I don't like that. You know what I mean? Like it bleeds into your neurotransmitters. So now I'm a reformed hater turned lover, unless you piss me the fuck off. Yeah. We'll get to this because she is from Miami. Florida. And don't ever forget is really how it goes. That's actually technically how we met was your early days online. It was my early days online. You were on a Zoom. I remember we were on a Zoom for InStyle. I don't remember. No. And you were like, I remember we are all doing intros. It was like five of us on a Zoom call. And then he went, okay, and Tevi, and I'm Peyton. So we were like, and for the kicker. And for the, I'll take us home. I'm Peyton. And then we followed each other on Instagram. And, but I was, that was pre my 305 tattoo on my neck. For sure. You have a 305 tattoo? Yeah, I do. Oh, wow. And I got it at 34. People are like, did you get that as a teenager? No. No, it's true. A year and a half ago. It's so pretty to be like. Exactly. Yeah. You had your Tom Stump. You got that later in life too, right? Yeah. I feel like I, we. My back tattoo, I got at 35. Fuck yes. Fuck yes. Wait, do you have an emotional support in a wrist tattoo? I have my dog, my barking dog. Very nice. That is my favorite tattoo. Really? But it hurt like a motherfucker. When you get a tattoo on your wrist, I remember telling my friend, John, he doesn't need a nose. He's like, he's going to get a nose. I'm like, no, no, no. It hurts so much. It doesn't need a nose. I'll just imagine it. This one, I was like, I don't think she needs shading. And she didn't get shading because it hurts so much. But yeah. Wow. And what doesn't hurt is being from Miami. And I've always said that actually. I went one time. We're going to get into it in a second, but. You went to Miami one time? Oh, that's right. Wait, was that about to 11? I went to. No, I didn't go to 11. I paid rent at 11. Yeah, you did. You did. You did. I saw the sun set and the sun come up. A table is how much? That's me. Is it made of gold? When you get a fraud alert on your phone for how much cash you are taking out, that's feminism, by the way. Shout out to the strip club. Producer just laughed, by the way. So I just want everyone to make sure we catch up. Okay. Let me tell you something. Those girls. Hardest working women in America. Those girls are, and probably all voted for Trump. Their boyfriends for sure did. I always say that about Miami too. I'm sure they probably didn't vote. Well, their boyfriends probably didn't vote. They're busy working. No, no, the boyfriends probably didn't vote. No, the boyfriends 100%, 100% vote. And they like, they're like, they want to be the top salesman on like an Herbalife. Oh, for sure. Like 100%. 100%. 100%. And they are popping that pussy at the car salesman job that they're just getting, like they're in the beginning of their hustles and they're posting like memes all the time, like cooked memes or like the Bugs Bunny and like the tuxedo, like about the hustle, like a Tom Brady. About the hustle. The hustle. 100 emoji used, like most recent emoji. It's that and the muscle. In a skin tone that's not theirs. Do you know what I mean? Yes. One guy I followed for years and years and years on the Facebook, I've lost touch, but every Monday he'd say, Happy Monday, let's get this shmoney. And I think about that every Monday. Happy Monday, let's get this shmoney. And you know what? I needed that reminder, actually. And let me hit that repost button right now, actually. Every Monday I go, let's get this shmoney. Okay, so before we get into your lore, let's talk about like your most recent new venture. You're a multi-hyphenate and I love that. I love a busy bitch. I'm the one who's a little nosy with it, you know? What's going on over there? Let me try a little bite off your plate, like that kind of energy. Everybody eats. Yeah. Let's get this shmoney Monday. Yeah, exactly. But talk to us a little bit about hosting After Sun. Well, you know, I never thought I would say I went to Fiji for work. So that alone was amazing. I never thought I'd say I got to go to Fiji with one of my friends. Sierra is one of my like favorite people. That bitch is funny. She's like effortlessly fucking funny. And to be on a beach with her and bother her nonstop. I don't know if you've ever seen a Capricorn cancer friend. Have I? Oh, it's her reading a book. And I go, have I told you? Have I told you you look so pretty today? And she's like this. Thank you. And she looks at me and she goes, you look really pretty too. And I go, oh, thank you. Oh, my God. Do you want to get something to drink? I'm not really drinking today. Not even like a little wine with me. It's a girl's day. And that is like our day. And I live for it. And she's always been the same. But I was with Sierra the day, the evening. We were at a glamour event. And we were with Tayshia Adams. And afterwards, we looked at each other and we're like, we're two-stop girls. We're not like one-stop. We're two-stop girls. So we went to a bar with some friends. And no, we were at Pastis. And I know it's her favorite bar. And that's when they announced it. And we got on the chairs and we screamed. And nobody else screamed in the restaurant. That's crazy. That's when we knew we were three-stop girls. But I don't know. I've been friends with her for so long. We've got to find the right vibe. But one thing about us is like we are able to. One, she was on my podcast. She's my first guest on my podcast ever. She's the first number. So we didn't have to do a chemistry test. Because we had that podcast episode together. And it was before any of her friendship lore had happened. And I had my astrologer read for her. And she said, something's going to happen. You're going to blow up this year. But you're going to lose some friends. And people will finally see you for like this weird supermodel girl that you're meant to be. Wait, really? Wow. Kayla, at youngkales on Instagram. Oh, yeah. I tell everybody about her. No, she's one of one. She's crazy. She's crazy. She will like literally be able to predict my hangover. Wow. And I hear her memo. She sends me an hour long on the first of the month. So obviously by the 16th. I don't remember that on the 16th I'm going to have a hangover. But I'll go back. And she's like, you're not going to feel well this day. Let's like really try to like recalibrate, you know, if we have the same goals. Or maybe you need more balance. Like it's crazy. But anyway. Love Island, getting to be with Ciara, she's someone who, um we are able to disagree but it's not like we have such a good time like we giggle we laugh and she is so she's she has a different perspective that always enriches the conversation never takes away from the conversation or i take away from the conversation and that's important no like it's i'll say hunter's like yeah like it's necessary it's necessary no to add a little laugh to add a little tangent adhd is really important it's like leo torres too yeah well that's us i know it's like i was like capricorns though are earth yeah but they're like so much more like strict leaning and so i guess i would do like the invert i don't really keep a lot of capricorns close i'm honest i dated one and she never knew how to giggle dating a capricorn it's like okay sorry am i on payroll i'm like this is and everybody should date sierra hold on but dating a capricorn if you're like willy nilly and you are like if you're more of a goose you have to bring that goose out of them if you need more balance and i can understand why somebody who's like type b will be attracted to a capricorn because you're like oh you're gonna get me together yeah and then they get you together and you're like you are like it's like living with your stepmom you know what i mean i can i was always in trouble and i was like what no or like they really want to be like cozy at home like capricorns are very cozy people and like they're the kind of people that you get to their house and you go i love this and they go like it's everything has like its place you know but i feel like leo and tauruses are like a fireplace you know and then capricorn cancers are like a fountain you know so i always think about yeah yeah that makes sense yeah and that's what we brought to love island i and i would say so a fountain of youth they were trying to get your ass the young people they the young people the young people trying to get your moments when i would reply to people i told you this we would i would reply to people and somebody'd be like don't bring this bitch back i never want to see this bitch on my tv again fuck this bitch and i'd be like what the fuck first of all and i'm like wait hold on let me check the profile and it says high school class of 2027 i'm like i'm arguing with a with a child i'm arguing with someone who is the top salesman at herbalife and they love their girlfriend like i am so that was also crazy about love island is there is there are so many people who see themselves in the in the capital and they're like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm and it is like six years in six weeks meaning we all have a friend who betrays us we all have something that we like it gets messy then the person might come back and then you meet somebody else and then you don't want to be the bad person and then you make another friend and that friend is also with like there's there it's it's a pressure cooker of experiences and i think that people online especially younger people who don't have like the language you can't call it macaroni if you only know pasta you know what i mean so they don't have like the language to talk about their experiences or feelings they see these people and they're like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm kind of like reliving something that they relate to and they go all out and i'm the last and i'm the last person who spoke to them so it's just uh and i'm like i didn't cheat on you they can't talk to them so they talk to you exactly they can't like direct their commentary you have your phone some way somehow i didn't go through your phone it's not me i didn't cheat on you i didn't i took i would have taken you to homecoming like that's what i want to say yeah yeah but i think there's a general thing that we will like so talk about more which is like the contain like you you can't just once something reaches outside of your like immediate audience it's just it just belongs to the world like it's just yeah and so i think sometimes when i like want to bark back i have to either check they're ugly oh i don't check their age i check something because a pretty bitch ain't gonna fight every bitch that doesn't like me and every bitch that i've ever been cheated on with i've never said oh i get it oh i would too i guess and this is a feminist first podcast remember that no but i love women etc etc some some of you bitches are very dumb as the as the tweet goes as the tweet goes yeah yeah yeah no i think that's true actually thank you i'm like my thing is like oh maybe she's pretty but like she's not making you laugh she is not making you she is not as quick-witted as me i'm sorry it's true and there's nothing more romantic than what a giggle oh a good old giggle sometimes i make a bitch laugh and i say keep your panties on relax relax that's just there's where that came from yeah hunter please hunter's feet kick up versandaya that press tour yo she was down to lose oh i love it yeah i know i will say though love island had i had a point zero zero zero zero zero zero one experience to like these a-list celebrities and i can see why at some point they're like fuck it i'm gonna do what i want because you do get like desensitized to it yeah and i got desensitized to and the first two i was like i'll swim home i cannot do this this is crazy this is insane but and then after the third it's like oh whatever and if i was doing that for 10 years it's like yeah i'm gonna say whatever i want i'm gonna do whatever i want it doesn't matter it's like it's like a just like an echo chamber yeah you know what i mean yeah and i feel like they should listen to me at least but what can you do no i agree did you know ariana before maddox yeah yes i did oh yeah i did i did i did i did um through internet and then she asked me to do her like opening night interview for her role as roxy on oh cute chicago yeah i love her best friend katie katie maloney katie maloney i love my katie maloney i did not know she was bi until she did gaydar because if you what i say if you have long hair with layers no one thinks you're fucking gay i have look at me i have to go like you know what i tell people should i eat pussy on maine what do you want from me fuck it yeah yeah sorry sorry peyton's like well i know catch that one episode where i was like j-lo kissed a girl for the and i was like girl eat my pussy i approve it the fuck and hunter was like you've got to be normal absolutely first time i ever vaped 11 i love there was nothing else to do but vape and i bought it from the bathroom there's not a bathroom woman you know people tell me what it was like to grow up in miami and i always say i heard i had a really good time okay what is the most miami thing about you i think the most miami thing about me do you hear me the most miami thing about me totally um i think i mean there's a few things sometimes i talk to other like let's say like a in this industry i make so many new friends like i feel like every time you go to an event you meet somebody like new whether it be someone's producer you meet so many cool people and because of who i am as a person people will tell me about their drama and then i think the way that i handle girl drama like mean girl is junior varsity that's nothing i feel like i can squash something or really like pour gas on something girl drama wise i feel like also a bubble is a bubble and the most miami thing about me is that i assume everyone is latino you know like when people are like what's it like being latina and i'm like where i come from there are more miguel's than you michael for sure um and i think there's also like a an approach to life that is different in miami because we are like caribbean adjacent you know there's a lot of cuban people a lot of haitian people a lot of it's a port city it's like any kind of major city but we just happen to have like they call it little latin america where i feel like we have a work ethic that is very like it's this or nothing monday morning let's get this money let's get i'm getting that tattooed after this i think that's one thing too it's like uh there's you can't tell your parents i could never tell my mom that i was tired and i know i know that's like not right i should be able to say i'm tired that's what it's um ableist of is that what is it able albiest what is it ableist yes my life we gotta cut that out no please but i was gonna say that like um you could never tell my mom that i was like tired it was like i've been working for a long time and then also when your parents come from a country that is riddled with like violence or has experienced war and they've had to like leave everything to tell to look at my mom be like your divorce traumatized me it's like not yeah you know so it's like a different approach to life but it's also like a very attitude so i can bitch out a bitch i can bitch out anybody at the drop of a hat and i also i may be a little late but i'll show up for work yeah maybe that's the most and i have a 305 fucking tattoo on me that's the most miami thing about me that is i'm surprised you didn't lead with it it's so funny that you said that because i remember talking to my mom i just told you this right where i was went to private school and i was talking about microaggressions and she interrupted me i wasn't even talking to her actually i was talking to someone else walks crosses the room goes yeah so i saw people get shot all right anyway you're like totally you're like you're like when i talk about my wearing my hair naturally she's like pause you're a quarter white you said as payton.dicks at instyle.com no but it's so true like i talked to my mom about like i don't i feel like when i come back to miami it's like the miami i know like the miami i know is very birdcage miami like my dad was wearing a yellow speedo as a straight man brazilian man yellow speedo rolling rollerblading down the beach like very um i felt like very like liberated in miami and it's a different miami she goes oh where you come from is different i'm like well colombia okay i'm like okay that's totally fine but yeah it's a different experience over there but i think it's also very When you grow up around a lot of women, too, and Latin women, gossip is a way of life, but it was never seen as, like, chisme. Like, a gossip is called una chismosa. But, like, when you—or metida, somebody who, like, se mete. ¿Mentiroso? Mentiroso means liar. Is that liar? Pero metida, meterse means to inject yourself. Oh, okay. Whatever. Contributing, by the way. Sorry for trying to get a word in. I know. My bad. So I take it back. My bad, my bad. But anyway, I saw gossip as, like, something positive, because that's how you knew. Like, I would listen to my mom's friends talk about divorces, and I'd be like, Susana, you had every right to leave him. Like, nine years old or whatever. Or, like, hearing about, like, who was gay. Like, so-and-so, so-and-so. Everyone has a gay, like, cousin or uncle that's, like, the best, you know? Yeah. And he walks in, and he's like, you would be fantastic with, like, some gold highlights. Golds. Wait, that, like, did something. Heavy. Stop. I have to be fantastic. My loss. I know. And then they go too far. Like, if you lost seven pounds, you'd be— Perfect. I'd say, okay. Right, right. And then, so now it's back. Gracias, Ronaldo. Gracias, Ronaldo. Thank you so much. It's so good seeing you. I think that there's something that's so, like, with black moms, too. Like, there's something that's really beautiful and powerful about, like, care for your looks that isn't, like, self-serving or self-indulgent. It's actually, like, about, like, routine and, like, tending to yourself. Rituals. Rituals, completely. And, like, honoring yourself, too. In a culture, society, like, devalues you and only shows you the bad in yourself. Oh, you mean, like, when it's time to take care of your hair, when it's time to— You know what I mean? That's what you're talking about? Like, skincare? We did not have any of that shit in Miami. We never— We wore— I did not start wearing even sunscreen until I was 31. Wow. We did not have these, like, rituals. Our rituals, I think, were, like, more rooted in, like, celebration and being together. But, like, when it comes to, like, beauty care and, like, taking time in the mirror, absolutely not. I put on astringent and deodorant and I walked out the door. I cannot believe I don't look like an— Raw, damn. A raisin literally left in milk. Oh, my God. I know. Didn't you do that thing, though? Botox. Where you got your age? No, bitch. Yes. Yes, I got my skin. Yeah, your skin has— No, because I locked the fuck in. I locked the fuck in. Okay. I locked the fuck— There was a— In 2021, I was like, okay, I can either pay attention to the person I'm living with that is getting— He's acting like he's getting paid to cheat on me, so I just can't handle that right now. So I can either lock the fuck in on TikTok and skincare, and I really, like, dove deep. And then people started offering— They started offering you free stuff, which is just the best. Yeah. Just the best. Just the best. I could let it all go, but I'm paid for moisturizer in, like, five years. I was like, do I need more? Yeah, so my dress is— Yes, exactly. I have so many cleansers. It's actually, like, indecent. I'm like, and who do I want to be today? No, it's horrid. It's, like, not right. No, I love it. Which one should I use today? In the shower? And you feel like God when you give it up. You're like— No, I know. One time, you know how it's like whenever you stop seeing a guy, like, it's like a dog dog. You, like, give him one last day. Yeah. Like, this guy. Last time seeing him, I was like, do you want any skincare? He was like, sure, okay. I was like, okay, here. He was like, oh, wow, this is so much. I was like, oh, no, no, no. That's just, like, this room's extra skincare. Oh, sweetie. I had, like, literally a tub. I was like, here, so just take what you want. Wait. Never saw him again. Hundreds. Like, it's Halloween candy. Just speaking of— I was like, maybe you need some of this, too. Just, like, take it. Do you remember we were talking about this situation in the back of an Uber? We were going from a party to a party. Yeah, but I can't remember what— And then we were talking about it so intently, and Peyton was also going through a mental breakdown. And when we got out of the car, you heard the Uber driver go, be safe. Oh, yeah. And he was right to say it, and I think about it all the time. We were talking in a way—we forgot where the fuck we were for a second. We were taking turns saying the worst things that had happened to us within that month. That week. You were turning a whole new page. You were, like, looking at yourself. We went through concurrent breakups. Yeah. And that was—and I was there holding on to both of you, trying to put you on the door as the ship sank. Like, that's how I felt. I was like, girls, no! I jumped out of the car again. Yeah. Exactly. I had just gotten banged. Like, it was serious. It was really intense. So serious. You were asking me if you should get a bob. I was like, you are losing your absolute fucking mind. Here's another tequila soda. Absolutely, I was. No, because I was fake sober then. Oh, God. I was sober, too. Oh, I was going through something bad. But— Oh, I just remember. I mean, we were real sober. So we were sober for an extended period, but stopped for an extended, yes. 90 days. You were sober when we got to Animal. Oh, no, I didn't drink that night. I really wanted to, though, unfortunately. I was twitching. My friend was like, not like this. My friend holds me. My dear, dear friend—this is what a good friend does, okay? They don't try and make you drink. What they do is they pull you to the side and go, not like this. Not like this. If you're going to break, not like this. Not at Animal tonight. I'm going to give you a cigarette. Not like this. I think that's what you should—I think that's the place to break. I mean— Why? It depends. It depends. What's happened to Animal that makes you want to break? I mean— When I watched Animal, a sea of gay men parted. Uh-huh. So I could go to the bathroom. That's true. Did you pee in the trough? Exactly. That's what I thought. Exactly. What other club do you— Have you pissed in that trough? Oh, yeah, of course. Okay, thank God. I'm not going to interrupt a story for the bathroom. I'm going to go with you to the bathroom. But in the bathroom, I could hear Sheryl Crow from outside. I'm like, hurry up. You're like, we need to sit in this. We have to do out here. Wait, I actually want to pause because I want to know most Tulsa or Oklahoma, if you want to get specific about where— What's the most Oklahoma thing about you? Or most Tulsa thing about you? I think that I say roof. Interesting. I thought that was Boston. Wait, what is that, though? What are you saying? The roof. Oh. The rough. Interesting. That was a different language. That was Spanish. Que interesante, Hunter. What do you mean? Like, no, it's actually rough. Yeah. This is getting rough out here. Wait, what's the accent, I guess? What's, like, the— Country. But when I hear— Country. When my mom and I do, like, a Boston— Because when my mom came to— When my mother came to this country. But she went to school in Maryland, so then obviously, like, on the East Coast, she met a lot of East Coasters, and she said that people from Boston say rough. Now we're also saying Oklahoma. This is so interesting. Yeah, Oklahomans, we say roof. Sometimes I'll be talking, and I'll say something crazy, and it's like, oh, I didn't realize that that was, like, an Oklahoma thing. Or I hear my mom say something, and I'm like, oh. I'm like, oh. Huh. Huh. I don't know how I would have said it. That's interesting. Do you feel like your parents are very Oklahoma-coded, like, or just Southern in general? Well, not Southern, actually. Well, where is Oklahoma? Oklahoma was not—well, technically, literally, it was not in the South because during the Civil War, it was Indigenous territory, so it literally was not a slave-owning state. However, states around—surrounding Oklahoma were slave-owning states, so it wasn't in the Civil War. But it's—actually, I interviewed Tracy Letts once, and I asked him—he's also from Tulsa. I said, what? Would you consider Oklahoma the South or the Midwest? And he said, it's neither. It's a Plains state. Oh! I love that. Yeah. So we're a little bit different. I love that. She went crazy at Model UN. Doo-doo-doo-doo. You know she did. We're a little bit different with it. She said, hold my beer as a high schooler. I said, hold my Mike's Hard Lemonade. Yeah, yeah. I can't. I'm going to work. I can't. Hold my Four Loko. Don't you—my culture is not your costume. My culture is not your costume. Four Loko today, you bitches would have never, never been able to be at Ibar in Orlando. In 2009, after two Four Lokos and a good gossip session. Wow. Four Loko. The original—that was crack cocaine in a bottle. Yes, it was. But I—somehow, I feel like what you just said, it's a Plains state, is going to come up in trivia for me. I had this similar feeling when I was playing Scattergores many years ago, and I almost won. But my friend's little brother said, no, snakes are not poisonous. They're venomous. And that came up in another trivia 10 years later, and I have that same feeling today. Wow. Wow, that's crazy. Circle back with us 10 years from now. 10 years from now. Tevye's going to be leaving a trivia night happy as a clam. Like this. She's like, I still lost, but I got that one answer. Fucking losers. Southern state. So cool. Go to school. What's the most L.A. thing about you, Peyton? Well. Where to be in? Actually? You tell me. No, I don't want to answer. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. We were in—this was happened days ago. We were in your dad's car. He was driving us to the airport. Peyton was in the front seat, and somehow you were talking about, like, don't slouching the girls, like, wearing— Okay, my dad is a coach, and he coaches mostly, like, girls and boys basketball, and he now coaches the first girls football team. That's sick as fuck. It's really cool. That's sick as fuck. For a—from Philly. I know they bleeped you last time, so I guess I can't say the— Well, I learned that. I learned that in post. Any other guess. But from a—being from a man from Philly, like, growing up hella poor, to be working at this, like, very rich, private white school— Is sick. Is so sick. And kids love it. And kids love him, because he's the only one that talks to them like adults, but that means they talk to him, because they're white, rich kids, like an adult. So they're, like, just talking very crass in front of my dad, and they're, like, always, you know, trying to, like, roll up their shorts, because they're girls in high school. Yes! So my dad was, as any dad would, trying to—but he's also their coach, being like, I don't know, I just think they need to cover—the shorts are getting shorter, I think they need to cover up. I don't like—and it starts to—it starts to teeter slut-shaming territory, and I said, well, that—well, what am I? But a dog in the streets. But I was, like, that was me. For the love of the game! I said, I walked so they could run. My skirt was rolled 14 times. There was no skirt. I was, like, I was, like, trying to be, like, I'm standing for these women. I need young girls to know that your coach is nice to you, because you're— Because his daughter. Because his daughter. Flooded out for you. And I tried to dabble up, being like, yeah, I get bitches too. City girls up. I was sitting in the back seat. Seatbelt on tight. I said, oh, my God, stop calling yourself a whore to your dad. You're scaring the hoes. Well, hold on. Wait. Hunter Ho Harris. That's what they call him. That's what they call her on the street. That's what they call her. I picture you— your childhood and i know this isn't right but i picture your childhood like 13 no panties no bra no panties no bra like in la i was when i watched the movie 13 no no that was it and i was 13 when i watched it and i was 13 i gotta catch up i took it as a challenge i said not a warning i'm like asking ass jeeves where to get whip it like i literally i had a boyfriend pretty early despite being so gay um mind you he was so gay because before we dated he asked me to shave my big toe and did and i was like okay so i have a bald toe and a gay boyfriend love it got it but not anymore it grew coarser it's like a copper wire my toes i know and that one nipple hair yeah girl wait shaving your toe i did it for the first time when i went to toronto because it felt like a fun um bit like in a real way since then that girl it's crazy crazy don't shave your toes a bit only do it if no no no no don't shave don't shave your nipple in eighth grade i shave my toes all the time nothing nothing is wrong you're the cute you look like you were born from a tulip you are different and you're always done and manicured you are yeah like you're like you're a different like completely different vibe style where her and i like we we finding community building community trying to make jokes and one-liners and puns at 11 do you know when you've lost the plot at the strip club is when you start exchanging Instagram handles you've been out with me and Shannon that girl she walks around like this with her phone like this and your turn and your turn and I'm never unfollowing by the way like ever I could never I follow almost 5,000 people on Instagram isn't that crazy me too it's like whatever I'm at like 3,700 I think and sometimes I unfollow people and I'm just like I gotta follow them back I just can't do it I know when you unfollow do you remove them as a follower no I'm not hold on no keeping my numbers up I got some brand deals to get off hold on no no no but yeah the 11 following is like part of the game I mean it gets to a point where there's nothing else to do but be like we should keep up or you have to avoid eye contact because the bottle's running out and they're gonna want to put in for the bottle and you're just like yeah the new lights the new lights in here yeah I love it you got a menu they used to have a food menu in 11 that's when I used to go they used to have a food menu and they had the Big Mac pizza and the pizza did taste like a Big Mac and that was fucking delicious yeah they had like a higher part of it and it was like a little restaurant booty Big Mac is what it was called and bills no that's just what I would call it oh well that was good you should tell they should take that they should brand that thank you so much bring back the fucking Big Mac pizza 11 I've never spoken to you directly and I am now okay tag 11 in this okay Peyton lover or hater audiobook or book in hand oh you know I love to flip through some pages but I'm kind of in an audiobook era I'm in my digital book club bag right now when I'm walking when I'm cooking it's kind of a game changer I totally hear you and speaking of audiobooks Hinge's No Ordinary Love collection is about five incredible couples who took a risk and all the real love stories are written and narrated by five incredible couples authors one of them is Rufy Thorpe who wrote Margot's Got Money Troubles she wrote a story from The Cat's POV and it is the best kind of weird and Tembi Denton-Hurst great writer even better friend I listened to her story on the train and I have follow-up questions for her every story feels totally different but they all hit real stories real people and real connections this episode is sponsored by Hinge listen to the five incredible love stories about five real couples who took a risk the No Ordinary Love audiobook is free on Spotify speaking of eleven speaking of third spaces yes and community which is so important in this time I want to talk about the lesbian bar in western Massachusetts the last ditch that recently went viral in a Boston Globe report for relaxing its masking rules they had one mask optional but they had to go to jail because I mean, where do you take it from there? because there's making no money because the owner had taken out a loan and one of the co-owners went to clown school yeah two out of the three two out of the three people dropped out and one of them went back to clown school and the girl that was left standing was like this actually isn't even my passion project she was like I was just helping them that was the craziest part four jobs living in my car to keep this bar open and mostly free yeah yeah I have so so many thoughts wait, tell us about this how it came across your desk you oh really? you told me you told me have you heard about the mask problem and I said and I looked up M-A-S-C problem and and a bunch of answers came up actually one of them was my girlfriend I said I'm all too familiar with this story we love you we love you Chaz you're stupid as fuck so funny but so but that's how it came across my desk I remember I saw something whenever I see. There was a previous video that came up on my free page, and the moment somebody references something happening on Twitter, where Critical thought goes to die i just swiped but i they had mentioned if you were tapped into this west massachusetts uh bar on twitter and that's when i said none of that we're not going in a good direction here yes but i but i will say for anybody that doesn't understand is at home listening to this or in your car or wherever you listen whatever the subway but essentially this this bar is not being able to survive. So they lifted their mandate once a week on a Saturday so that they could start to make money, whatever. And this is my thing. It's really sad that there are now only 36 lesbian bars in the United States. That's so crazy. And there's like, I could throw a baseball and hit a gay bar right now. From where we're standing. And I think that's like really, really, that sucks. And then also I feel for people who have limited social lives because of their immune systems. Yeah, of course. Like there are things about life that you cannot control and everybody wants to make friends. Everybody wants to be social. Having this safe space is really, really important. I don't believe you bitches believe in safety at all because the moment she said, hey, I'm a victim of capitalism, which is affecting us all constantly smothering me like a welding machine. They said, we hope your bar gets carpet bombed. You don't believe in safety at all, bitch. Also, that person who said that doesn't even live in Massachusetts. Well, there we go. But they don't, they've never even been to the bar. I would be angry too, by the way, if my life, I felt like, if I felt like I couldn't enjoy life to like the degree that I wanted to because my body, you know, because something was happening with my biology, my body was something, chronic illness. I would be angry too. But the perpetrator of that is like Robert Kennedy. Like it's the system, society and the way that like COVID was not taken seriously. I think the response just does not outweigh the very small crime of one singular day. But let's do some math. So the safe space stays. So the safe space stays open. Continue. It's like there's already a limited amount. Whatever. It's fine. Here's what we need to talk about. So if we. I did some math last night, which was like, let's talk about. You're good at math, though. Pretty good at math. Secretly Virgo rising. You know that. I'm a Beyonce rising myself. I can't do the tip. Nobody looks at me. Oh, wait. Right. That's what I was. Yeah. Nobody looks at me. Because you like. Okay, we can talk about astrology again later. But there's about 17,000 people in this community. There's not been, as it is reported in the Globe, a COVID case in a very— not a single COVID case in a very long time. Two months. Two years. Comments, let's say there's about 400 to 500 comments on there. I'm, like, rounding up to be, like, let's say they're all, like, people that live there. It's not, but it's fine. 3% of the population is immunocompromised. Okay. That's crazy. That's— Speaking of also— Those numbers are kind of, like, wait. crazy that couldn't if that's if that's like just people weighing in so like maybe there's more it doesn't make any sense that that many people are so like reactive i think people just like to what get mad and like i know and then also for that town hall you yes that's the town hall the three and a half hour town hall with the media and then with uh like a couple dozen more people on zoom yes and they had a white therapist and then the people said that it became unsafe for them to speak their feelings because they thought that she was because she was licensed she could then send them to a psych ward and she could have been an agent in the state and that she could also she also has ties to the police. It's like ACAB including your therapist right? It also sounds like me but she apologized and she was like I'm sorry that I've centered my feelings in this. Also the calling it racist that the girl was like I'm living in my car so you're centering yourself actually and this is now racist and it's like wait, wait, wait wait, wait. Well crying white they them tears. That was a direct quote. Which low key though there be some they them tears. I don't go to a party unless there's a them tears. That's my bat signal to leave the house. The city needs me now, girl. But what's that tweet that's like when the amputee hijabi lesbian? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like, you know what I mean? Like it's a one-upping situation. And I learned this term researching this topic of the liberal house cat. Have you heard this? No. Essentially, it's someone who is not willing to compromise for the greater good. And you can, you know, when you talk to a man, you can tell they've been on Twitter for a long time. Like someone that doesn't have a lot of outside experiences. Like these people are kind of on online all the time because that's the only way that they can socialize because of their body what their body allows them to do and and then they are faced with this uh with a lot of these like feelings they don't have the vocabulary or like the social experience to like um conflict resolve but i don't think it's just like okay yes can you look it up actually sorry i'm sorry because i i don't trust myself it's something i learned this morning and i say a lot of things with my chest and be like that was wrong maybe when i'm spreading misinformation but i said it true if i'm spreading misinformation do not google in front of me wait until we leave okay respect me but um i don't i think in general like the root of all this to me is that everyone is just really lonely like immunocompromised or not i think that the way that people engage online is their only real source of like outlet and conflict and people don't know how to actually engage with each other in a constructive way that's based on like like change and learning and growing instead of just getting mad and shaming and i think like the work feels like it ends there and not to get too like whatever with it but i did a lot of like um organizing specifically in 2020 for like um trans youth and black trans lives and organizing is difficult and this is not a person even trying to organize a protest this is a person running a bar no so it's like there are so many they don't even want to be running too she's like i don't want to be here the globe did a fall i don't i don't even want to be here so sad the person said that when it was her turn to speak all she did was go she just started crying she's fifty thousand dollars in debt i'll be crying too no it's crazy but but then some people were saying that it's actually racist because she has access to enough capital to even get a fifty thousand dollar loan which is like that's what you're reporting my capitalism it's like we're all do you want to go to this bar or not do you want this bar to exist or not it's as simple as that to me yeah yeah yeah but i was reading about how they did a little bit about how they did a little bit about how they did a little bit about how they did a little bit about how they did a little bit about how they did a little bit about how they did a little bit about how they did a little bit about how they did a little bit about how they did a little bit about their instagram is like blowing up the articles blowing up and uh they did a follow-up i think yesterday or and the bar is empty it is not translating at all into dollars it is empty well can i add though that they did a gofundme oh right so they made money through the gofundme which is good but yeah the the foot traffic into the bar has not really improved i also want to quote something that i cannot stop thinking about from this follow-up um someone that the globe interviewed took another sip of their mocktail quote pacing themselves for a late night a mocktail pacing but also okay can i sound so stupid like where how are we are we going under or is k95 is it pretty tight you're okay i'm glad you brought that up too because there's some that open i heard so that's open a little flap i was waiting for taylor lorenz tweet about all of this and um she trigger warning taylor lorenz taylor understand this lore we oh girl how much time you have that's a different episode that's that's yeah paywalled we'll talk about that after um okay taylor someone asked how do you drink at a bar within 95 and taylor lorenz tweeted well we are seven years into the pandemic and it's a little while people aren't aware of stuff like sip valves wait what so it's a it's a straw my mouth is my sip valve it's a it's a straw if you're wearing a mask then you there's like a straw basically wait okay okay hold on i'm like that's not like common knowledge though if you need if you are someone who like truly true sometimes if i'm on a long flight i'll mask you know what i mean like sometimes i'm sick if i was disgusting yeah you know what i mean and but if you are truly someone that you cannot live your life like you your life is is at this place where like i want to go out i want to have a mocktail with my girls and i need to buy my sip valve for sure i've never seen one in real life i've never seen a sip valve in real life i hate when people talk to me about like talk to me like i'm an idiot for not knowing about my sip valve yeah yeah no that's what i'm saying that's not like common knowledge that's specialized and that's the part that i don't appreciate yeah and i accept it if you tell me that you need a sip valve i'm like i'll valve with you girl totally i've done to give me a hit yeah i've done worse with strangers i do like being like we all i think we can all acknowledge that there obviously is like a lot of people don't talk about or see like like non-visible disabilities and i think there's just a general like lack of care for disabled people in the us and world right i remember when i got hit by a car in new york my first i was like please god don't let my leg be broken and then i was like what happened but um it was don't worry it was my jaw my skull um but i was like because i don't know if the city is accessible enough for me to like live my life it's not it's not even can i say yesterday i was on the bus with my mom she's 65 in good health all this stuff and even we were talking about like what if you like just the bus system the train system all of this stuff all the it's really sad yeah i'm just a girl a cobblestone in heels and sometimes i'm like this city's not built for me it's not built for a bad bitch but it's really not you're having you're breaking up while the while the uber goes over a cobblestone it's like the worst thing as well as like well i just think that you had to be better it's horrible um i think the thing though that's really frustrating to me is like something we need to remember so this is family business okay this i don't we this conversation is now again containment like left the queer and a la community and is you didn't you tell me who's just report on the free press free press thank god yeah so we've got barry weiss's team on the case oh thank oh thank god i know you're wondering have enough time after the adjiran tour to really get on top of it no literally she just gave an award to peter teal okay totally everything is great and normal yeah but i get really pissed about when people try to stick their nose into the air and they're like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry that isn't theirs and there's always like a left internal war especially in the queer community oh my god it's like everyone is trying to like outwoke each other all the time though and the woke olympics by the way and we're all on the same team let's play together i know but the far right they take these stories and they make it such a spectacle we're like i and i'm not gonna liberal house cat it is that was did i say the right thing yes but it's a bit but yes okay it's a bit different okay well we'll put like a little note maybe i'm like liberal street cat it's like oh he's a little fucked up you know but like like there's something off about this one but like there i i feel like there is an argument there there is an argument to be had they're being like yeah this is a wonderful thing but unfortunately like we're not and obviously people who are immunocompromised do have issues with working a regular 40-hour week their body can only let them do so much so like maybe they can't afford to like really come out and support this bar so we need more people in the community to come out and make sure that this bar survives for sure for sure but the most miami thing about me is that if i was the owner i'd say and it's yours i'm not doing this anymore that would be me you you have you have 30 days to find somebody to take over i'm not dealing with you bitches i'm giving it to the state you guys are mad mean to me for just trying to be nice because if it wasn't for me i'm literally wilson the volleyball trying to take care of an island like i have no idea what the fuck i'm doing i don't even know how they gave me a fucking loan okay i can barely figure out like uh how to put on an instagram story for this bitch i'm on canva every fucking night no um you guys have it you figure it out and then i'm out but like you're not going to talk about that that's the most miami thing about me and i'd open up and i'd open up like a my dream is to open up a speakeasy a queer speakeasy but you can come whenever i was gonna say a speakeasy is so fucking straight you're queering the space of speakeasies and who and we would have fedora fridays now see how her tone changed i didn't just say so my lady and i am cordially inviting laurie lightfoot yeah mjc's my date you know i like a mask yeah sorry oh god that's good and it comes back to masking it always does it always does i really hope we all work it out on the remix though but i'm like we need to just start like having real conversations in person we need to start engaging with each other in a normal way well in person is pretty privileged of you because this is new this is custom i had my father's face for a long time not too much that's why i'm funny yeah i meant because they had to go to zoom because they were immunocompromised but also some of them just didn't ever go to the bar that's the other part one of some of the people had like i've been to bar like five times wait how do we not even talk about uh oh my god what is what is it it's like they're yes the secular hijabi yes what is it their name is what is that i don't know because maybe on that zoom they might find this and secular hijabi where i mean somebody who is not practicing yes but where's the culture of it okay white of course i mean just for the record okay well actually ethnically irish and that was another part of it that um being vegan is a cultural appropriation because irish people had to be vegan for a long time because of the famine i'm low-key a fan i'm a fan of their work it's like you have said things have never been so many words have been combined in their twitter account is crazy to me their name is serene necrosis necrosis i don't know chosen is not their government name it could be that's a beautiful name for a little girl but it's like some of the most outspoken people even one of the uh can one of the people that was interviewed was like i've only been to the bar like seven times which is not like you're not a frequent flyer like you're not up in there and i think like you're allowed to have feedback on a place that you actually frequent and patron guys i've had third spaces close on me like there was achilles heel and green point was my favorite bar of all time and from one day to the next management because these rent prices are so insane in in all of new york like i don't these i remember growing up with people whose parents uh was like a general manager at like a cole's or a Kmart, and they were able to raise their two kids. That is not the life that we live today. And this third space closed, and I was heartbroken. Like, I understand what it's like to have your third space close, but you kind of got to, if you want something to work out, you kind of have to band together instead of saying, who's the most at fault here? And I think that's the fucked up part because it's already closing. It's already happening. It doesn't matter whose fault it is. Like, it's like the house is already on fire. I don't care who struck the match. Can we just get the hoses out? That's what I think is the important part. What is Liberal House Cat? Oh my, and thank you so much, Taffy, for coming on. We've really enjoyed you. Where can everyone follow you? To 11. Let's go, girl. We're not far from LGA. That's a good old flight, too. It goes straight to Miami, goes quick. JFK or LGA? LGA always. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I, what, tell me. LGA because I love the, I love the hallway between baggage claim and Uber pickup. And it has all of the quotes. It does. From Fiorella LaGuardia in and about him. And I love it. It's an army of small plump men in big hats. I love that. And he was our first socialist mayor, right? Period. Whoa. She says my dad, he was like, okay, anyway, so. He's like these skirts. Back to the whores in high school. You can find me. Yeah, where can people follow you? At HelloTaffy on all platforms. Sorry, iced coffee. That was another debacle. Debacle? Debecle. Okay. Entonces, I'm at HelloTaffy on all platforms. And I think that's it. Yeah, I think that's it. I'm good with that. Yeah, I'm good with that. That felt good. That felt good. Hi, I'm Nicole Phelps, Global Fashion News and Features Director at Vogue. I'm co-host of the Run Through podcast. Each week on the show, our listeners get an all-access pass into the world of Vogue. On Tuesdays, join me as I interview influential designers like Calvin Klein, Rachel Scott, and Simone Bellotti. On Thursdays, join Chloe Mao, Head of Editorial Content at Vogue US, and Choma Nadi, British Vogue's Head of Editorial Content, as they explore fashion through the lens of culture with guests like Doja Cat and Margot Robbie. Listen and watch the Run Through with Vogue, wherever you get your podcasts and Vogue's YouTube channel.