The Life Story of Janet Tobin

[MUSIC PLAYING] Janet Tobin's life has been and still is very exciting. I met with kings, and we met with foreign ministers, and the heads of the governments. But meeting world leaders in the position of a leader and activist herself wasn't something she expected to happen, while growing up as a young child in a neighborhood of lower socioeconomic status in Brooklyn. Here I was, a little shy, naive girl growing up in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, low economic strata. And look here, I have successful things that I bring to the organization that I wound up loving. [MUSIC PLAYING] She and her husband started to become active in the community early on in their married life. And a principal they lived by as social activists was that whatever they did, their kids would come along and take part. They were always a part of everything that we did. I have pictures of during the expo of Mark and Scott with bruises. And so every rally we went to, our kids were always there. From a young girl growing up to a hardworking father, who had self built himself following a challenging childhood, living by her grandparents who made her field Judaism with simply a lifestyle of joy. To a young teenager, filling her first leadership role in high school, to a teacher who encounters anti-semitism in one of her first job interviews. To a young mother, becoming extremely active in her community, and soon on becoming a leader and organizer, a full-time volunteer, as she puts it, and later getting involved and leading international work related to Israel and Jewish causes. This is the story of Janet Tobin. My name is Janet Tobin. I do not have a middle name. I was born in 1937, March 25th, 1937, to Molly Rosen. And Abraham Rosen. And I was a born in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. My mother had gone into labor while she was at the movies. And since she loved movies, especially Janet Gena and Clark Abel, when she knew that she had a little girl, she named me Janet. But my British name is Shandle. My mother said I was a beautiful baby, a blonde, blonde, beautiful baby, that the nurses used to put bows in my hair when they brought us Nisah. My mother was born in the United States in the Lower On the Lower East Side of Manhattan. She had one brother, older brother, who was also born in Manhattan, because my baby, my grandmother, lost four children, four babies in Europe, mainly because of illness. They came from Austria, Poland. That area, my grandfather was from Estetl. My grandmother basically was from Limburg in Vienna and married my grandfather. And she was a wonderful seamstress and baker and terrific, terrific lady. And my grandfather, well, he started out on the Lower East Side in a feather factory. Then he had a grocery. When they moved to Williamsburg, he had a grocery. Her mother, Molly, grew up in a tentamant house. Oh, in the tentamines, there were two families on each floor. But they shared a bathroom. There was not in the apartments. And my grandmother, he's filled the basin with water for them in the big basin. And they were able to take baths. There was no tub or anything like that. It was just a big tub, like for washing dishes and whatever it was, that my grandmother would fill for them to take baths and stuff. When they moved into Brooklyn, each one of them had their own room. And they had a bathroom in the apartment. So then my mother felt they were like, you know, up a class. She lived in a five-story tentamant until she was 12 with 13. And the whole house was one family. When they had simprah's, the whole floor. Every floor did a different thing to air to the simprah. You know, everything was just beautiful. And some of my grandmother's friends moved to Brooklyn. And so when grandfather's feather factory was moving, so they had to-- it was moving to Brooklyn. And so they found an apartment right near the difference. And in Brooklyn, the Williamsburg. And that's where my mother moved. And that's why she met my father. My mother was always a feisty woman, tells me Janet. As a young girl, she was a tomboy and could get away with anything because her older brother racked her up. One incident from early childhood even ended in her having to switch schools. My grandparents had her go to Gator, OK? And she was not happy there, very happy. And she used to fight with the rabbi all the time. And one day, she was having an argument with him and she pulled this beard. And he took her and he brought her right to my grandparents and said, I cannot deal with her. So she started-- she had to go to public school. That was it. But she loved sports. She was a handball player. She was a bowl player. She was also skinny, skinny and feisty. And because of those two qualities, her family, surprisingly, became one of the first people Janet knows of to have a charge account. When my mother was growing up, they would go to school to meet my grandfather. My grandfather came over with a whole group of friends. And they started-- the school was in my grandmother's house at first. And then they moved to a storefront. And they had the school. We would go to the school to meet my grandfather, Saturday night. And on the way home, we would stop. And when the toy store, one of my grandfather's friends had a toy store. And so we would stop at the toy store, pick up a toy. Each one of us, my uncle and my mother. And then my grandfather would pay for it on Sunday, because he didn't have any money in his pockets in the store. And the same thing with the luncheonette that was nearby. My mother was skinny, skinny and feisty. And she used my son, my grandfather and grandmother, said to her, you have to go and get them all to it every day. And she also would go get them all to it. And my grandfather would come to the following day or Sunday and pay for whatever she took. So actually, it was like having a charge account. They had a charge account with the luncheonette and with the toy store. And I don't think they had charge accounts at the time, but they had charge accounts. The parents of Janet's father, Abie or Elle, as his friends called him, had come to America from Russia. My father was also born in Brooklyn. He was not the youngest, next to the youngest of five children. His mother was not a well woman. Her husband, who was a rabbi, left her with the five children. My father was the only boy. My father and the youngest and one above him went to this Jewish orphanage that they had for children that whose parents could not afford to keep them. But they were in and out at the age of 13. My father was taken out because he had to go to work and help support with the older two children. But he had a wonderful, wonderful experience in this orphanage with other Jewish young boys and girls. And they all stuck together. And they used to meet in Florida once a year as a group to talk about where they came from. Janet's father started working at a young age. And he always worked hard. He started out as a truck driver for a boy. a bakery. So he always managed to either work at the bakery or do something else. He never just had one job. The fact is that he always worked to make sure he had enough money so that my mother could raise us and not have. We never felt that we came from low economic strata. We used to work after a while. After when I was grown up I realized that that was low. You know, everybody was supposedly low income. But we had everything we wanted. We never wanted for anything. He also, for a period, drafted into the army before he was married to Molly. My father was in the army before when he was. before he actually married my mother. And he was a bugle. In fact, was dischilled because he lost his hearing on one ear being out in the cold. Molly and A.B. met each other at a social club. So what became to be their favorite hobby? Dancing. At that time they used to have the social clubs and the social club that my mother and her friends went to. was called the "Ramos Boys Club." And that's where she met my father. My father was at terrific dancer. And in fact he looked like. I don't even know if you realize who it is. Fred Astaire, they used to call him the Fred Astaire. And he was handsome like that and slim. And he. he was a great dancer. My mother loved dancing. And when she met my father, that was it. They used to be the dancing group of the social club, you know. They had a very, very good happy marriage. My father adored my mother. And he loved my grandparents because they were very warm, wonderful and welcoming people, you know, when they took him in and it was like a son. From the time they met throughout their entire life, they kept up their shared love of dancing. Even when they were snow birds going to Florida and the winter, the one thing that they always went to was the dances on Saturday night and Sunday night. They even had a favorite dance, the tango. Soon after they met and fell in love, they were married. My parents' wedding was in a hole. And my grandmother, who was an excellent seamstress, made her whole wedding gown. And beautiful leather gloves, white leather gloves. And she looked like a queen, my mother. Molly and Aby had three children. Janet is the middle child. My brother, Jerry, is three years old than I am. And my sister, Elaine, who is seven years younger than I am. My brother was protective and my sister was a baby. So I was actually protective of her. We just, we had normal things. And I remember fighting with my brother occasionally. He may think that it was more than occasional. And I never fought with my sister at that point because she was a little one. She was a baby. I remember when she got chicken pox and stuff. My grandparents lived three blocks away. We were in a brownstone on the third floor, the top floor. It was just a very warm, friendly place. We lived in a community that was largely Jewish. I think in the entire Williamsburg part of where I lived anyway. On my block, there were two Italian families. And my grandfather was the cowboy of the industrial school, but the lower second man underneath. Friday night was, we were always there Friday. And then Saturday, my grandfather would come, pick up my brother to go to school. And I would go a little later. And I was able to go under his talus at the Bima. Yeah. So it's just a little bit of a kind of luck. You come to school. And after school, you can go play with your friends. Growing up with grandparents, near and so involved in her life was magical. Janet says. And she has many wonderful memories from those years. On Friday, my grandfather would come while we, we always walked back and forth from school. It was a long walk, but we never even thought about it. But we came back for lunch. On Friday, he would meet us at lunchtime at my mother's house. And he would give each of us a ticket to the movie. And he said, as I said, come to show and after show and after lunch, go with your friends. Here's the ticket for the movie. If they're going to the movies, you're going to the movies. My mother and I would go to the fish store on Wednesday. And there was a big tank, tremendous tank. And the fisherman was in the person that was the fisherman would be in the tank. And my mother was little. And she would stand up on the little ladder. That was against the tank. And she would point to the two fish that she wanted. Okay, and white fish in a pike. That's the two fish that she wanted. The fisherman would quickly scoop them up, give them to the gentleman that was going to fold them up into newspaper with ice. And we would then gallop actually back to my grandmother's house, who had the bathtub already for the two fish. And there they were swim. And came Friday. And then two fish were no longer there. But the fish was a beautiful, Kaffirta fish with the head that my grandfather loved to eat. And the tail, but the whole, the rest of the thing was a beautiful Kaffirta fish. And that was really special. And on Tuesday, afternoons, I used to go to my grandmother to pinch the edges of the parogan that she made. We called them so she made the potato and onion parogan, which were absolutely terrific from scratch, of course. And I would be able to pinch the edges. And then she would fry her boil them. And that was special because I loved being with her. She was just a lovely lady. And I loved being with her. And she loved the one we came. My grandfather would take me to the chicken place, the one in the place that had the chickens running around all over the place. And he would pick out a chicken so that my grandmother would be able to make chicken and chicken soup and everything else that went with it. But he never let me see his chocolate. Never I never saw a chicken chocolate. It's amazing to me to even think about it now. I used to stand right outside of the place. And until he came out with the chicken. And then my grandmother would pluck all the feathers. There wasn't a feather around on any of her chickens. They were cleaners could be. Being her grandmother was such a good cook and loved feeding them, made it so Janet's mother hardly cooked herself. My mother didn't have to. That's really why. After we were born, my grandmother would come over with my mother's and make her coffee in the morning and bring her her breakfast every morning. And then she would go home and cook. Or right after my wheel went to school. And she did what she did with my mom, bringing her her breakfast and such. She would relieve my grandfather and go into the grocery store so that he could go home, dive in and take a nap. And then he came back down and she would come back up and start to cook. And she would, at first we always had dinner there. Until my father said after I was born, "Wally, it's time that we stayed home and you made dinner." So she got my dinner, her dinner from my mother's in my grandmother's house. And that's how she made her own dinner. Janet had a great relationship with her grandmother. I was allowed to brush her. She would love when I brushed her hair and I would help braid it and she would make a whole little cuggled in the back from the braid. She was unholy. Yeah, and I'm glad a cook. That has always smelled delicious. She was up, they were up on the third floor, it was a walk-up. And I remember that, as soon after, you know, she got diabetes and she had a hard time so she never came down, you know, when she was older. Pest away when I was 12 years old, it's really sad. After my grandmother passed away, my grandfather came to live with us in Williamsburg. And my mother had to make certain things. And she learned how to make filter fish. And she learned how to make chicken soup because those were my grandfather's favorites. And she always has that ready-fit fin. We moved out of rooms so my grandfather could have a room with his own. Three of us were in the big bedroom at the time. And then my parents had a couch that opened up for sleep. With her grandfather, she also had a great relationship. And Janet remembers him fondly. He was quite a terrific grandfather. He had a twinkle in his eye all the time. And if you asked him a question, he would say, "Why? Because." Or he would ask me a question and he'd say, "And so me in the anguish." I only wanted to teach, no, speaking English. And even when I wanted to let him, you know, we have to, before we were married. And after that, we were married. He loved sitting and just talking to him. And my grandfather would say to him, "Beele, pinoccle." And our one would say to him, "Beele, pinoccle." You know every card in my hand, you know, what's going to happen? He says, "Speel, spiel anyway." She saw her paternal grandmother once in a while as well. My father would take me to visit. And we would see her, you know, maybe every once or twice a month. And it was funny. There was a bakery that made donuts right next door to her. And my father would say, "Come, maybe they'll let you put your finger in and make the hole." You know, once in a while I did. But my grandmother was not a well woman. And so it was hard for her. And her children, my father's sisters and such, we really didn't have very much of a relationship with my father still went. My mother went to visit, but it was different, just different. It was certainly not the kind of relationship that we had with my grandparents. Janet recalled special memories from Pesach at her maternal grandparents' house. My grandmother had a very large dining room. Big, big table wouldn't table. But for Seda, for Pesach over, they used to move one of the feather beds that they slept in to one side of the table. And Jerry and I sat on the bed up against the table. And we would be part of the whole Seda to begin with and sing the songs and everything else. And then we had dinner. My grandmother used to make, and it was always one thing, a big meatloaf, potato pulling. Of course, a filter fish first, soup. I remember her potato pudding, which was out of this world. And we had dessert. My grandmother was a great baker. She made the best apple cake I've ever tried. But couldn't come up with as good an apple cake as she made. And then they would start to be a cut-harmazone, and very, very quickly, or very soon after they started. My brother and I would be sitting on that bed, but all of a sudden we were laying down. And before we knew it, we were sound asleep, they said, and we heard, "Okay, it's Chaggaja time." So Chaggaja became the song of the last part of the Seda. And in fact, if you ask, my kids about Chaggaja, they know to really sing it with lots of zest. I learned a lot growing up with my parents, says Janet. They were great parents to us and great children to their own parents. They were also very warm, very loving, and they were very, very concerned with where we were, what we were doing, our friends, and she was very, very, very, very good daughter. And my father was as good as he could be with his family, as good as they really let him. How were you at school? I asked Janet. I was a good student. I was very quiet. Even though I loved sports and I was part of it all with my friends, I was a very good handball player. And I was a good ball player. We used to play stick ball. And had a great, you know, I was a skater, and I was a roller skater and such. But I was more timid, not as outgoing as I became. Okay. Outgoing in a different way. I was still a little bit on the quieter side. When she was about 12, Janet caught pneumonia. She remembered those few weeks of being home in bed. I was about 12, 13 years old, and I contracted walking pneumonia in late August, right before school started. Actually, and I couldn't go to school. I didn't go to school for about five or six weeks until they started. They first came out with the penicillin at the time. For those weeks, my grandfather would come during the day and play cards with me, Cassino. And my father, when he came home, would also play cards with me. My grandfather was to play 500 Romy. They say it was my father's favorite, she mentions. I had a very warm and loving relationship with him throughout my childhood and later years. And the one who taught Janet how to swim was her mother. During the summer, when we weren't in the bungalow or in a way, we used to go to a bright and beach every Sunday. And my mother would go and father would go into the bakery and in the deli next door to the bakery and get salami. And my father would pick up the rye bread from the bakery. And that's what we had for she would make the sandwiches at the beach. But she was great swimmer. My mother was a wonderful swimmer and took us out on her back. We would go on her back. And that's how my brother and I learned how to swim. In 1948, Israel became a state. Janet recalled what she felt as a child at that time. Israel became a state. It was such euphoria. I mean, this was something we prayed for every day of our lives and we hoped for. It was a different kind of hope. You know, it was the thought that, well, first of all, I wasn't just aware of the Holocaust at the time. Because I didn't have any family in the Holocaust. But Israel became something that was so unbelievably wonderful. Everybody dreamed so long for a state of our own, for us having our own Israel that we prayed for every day. That was in our liturgy and it was just an unbelievable time for all of us. Very, very, very exciting. And today, young people don't know about when we didn't have a state. You know? And so, yeah, that was part of our lives. That was unbelievable to think that we finally have to pray and so hard for it that we finally have. Feeling so lucky with having a Jewish state was part of their lifestyle where they loved being Jewish. Judaism in our home was so wonderful. very exciting. My grandfather made it that it was just wonderful. He had that twinkle in his eye. He always spoke to us, you know, it was just joyful. Being the Jew was the most joyful thing and going to shoole and being under my grandfather's talus made me feel that Judaism was just everywhere and for everybody and it was just a warm, wonderful, year-to-shallife. Well, I say I wish more people would have it now, but I had growing up. When Jenna was 13, her mother started to work. We had a doctor that told my mother in Williamsburg that it's time for her to go to work. At least a couple of days during the week and that's when she started working in Abraham Strasse, the big department store, and it was better for her, you know, not to be constantly working with my grandfather and being with him all the time. He had his friends and that was important. He had his friends in Williamsburg also and the industry jewel was very important to him so it was good that she was not there all the time. We were in school already. She continued working when we had a leave in Williamsburg. When I was 16 years old the Brooklyn Queen's Expressway took my house down. So they moved to Bensonhurst, Brooklyn. My grandfather moved with us, you know, and that's where I went. Well from there I finished my senior term at an Eastern District High School by going by train. Whether in Williamsburg or Bensonhurst, the Rosen's always lived surrounded by Jews in their neighborhood. All my friends were Jewish. I don't remember ever having a non-Jewish friend. Look, if you went to the public school on Rosh Hashanah, the school may have been open, but maybe I had one student in a free class. You know, it was different. It was different. You lived in a little shuttle. Actually that's the way it is. The storekeepers, when I was a senior in public school before going on high school, there was a luncheon at the corner of our school. And as a senior when it snowed or you know it was in clever weather, we could go to that luncheon at with our sandwiches that we brought from home. And he would make us at creams or maltins or if it was winter time he would make us hot chocolates. And we were seniors so we were able to go to the luncheon at and there was a jukebox. So we would put a nickel in and we would sing, you know, listen to the music of the time and have a great time all of lunch time. It was only seniors. Not long before they had to move, Janet celebrated her sweet 16 party. I had a beautiful sweet 16 and it was actually right before we had to move because right after that summer we had to look for new housing. I had a beautiful dress. I remember my mother took me that far from where my auntie lived on. It was a clad, beautiful strap was really, really pretty. And we had it in the social hall downstairs and in the big history school. And my aunt Rose made pounds and pounds of potato salad and swore she'd never make potato salad again but she made it for my sweet 16 and we had all our friends, guys and girls and we danced and I used to like to do the Charleston with one boy, my first boy. I might be a second boy friend but he and I used to do the Charleston together that was our thing and it was just a beautiful evening. I was a girl so but Miss Foo was not the thing for girls at the time. We didn't know from those things. Putting effort into celebrating every happy family event is something I grew up on, tells me Janet and something she kept doing with her kids later on. My father always had a big cake made for us and we always celebrated, yeah. In fact it was funny my sister for some reason we always knew that her birth there was going to be Pesach and even then my father would have a Pesach cake made for her. You know it was very important to my parents that for birthdays and for simclas that you go all out and that's exactly the way I grew up and so that's exactly what I did with my own children. We never let a birth they go by because why shouldn't we celebrate and if there was ever a time that we needed to celebrate for something we did we celebrate. We always did the whole thing decorating and bringing in the good food and everything else and it was just something that we did. I think that my children had a birthday all the time. Partly there wasn't a time that Robyn walk in the Scott didn't have a birthday party and I always made her own a birthday party. In fact I remember when he was going to be 50 he got so annoyed because I wasn't planning he did thought I wasn't planning a birthday party for him but I did I was planning a surprise party for him with all his friends and everybody and we were going to have it at the synagogue and one of our friends was a lawyer and I said to him he's giving me such a hard time draw up divorce papers and that's what I'm going to hand him as a birthday present at night. Then we had a big party in the shoe when he had a party every year. Janet was so good a student she was one of the only few who took the academic courses that were offered as opposed to commercial courses during high school. When I went into high school you were given the choice of what course of study you wanted in high school. I knew we were going to college that was my parents said there's no question you know everybody's going to college in our family and so I took what was known as the academic course. In my class in my home-owned class was a young black girl that was also in academic studies and we were in each class together and she was I remember she was just a beautiful young girl and we became friendly you know in school we were friends in in the home room and then we went off to the classes together and so we were friends. One day it was it was really a shock to me when she says I can't be friends with you anymore and I can't even talk to you. I said what what happened what did I do? She says my friends don't want me associated with a white girl. It was like a shot to me because I didn't know from those things. Janet remembers one teacher who had a special impact on her. For the three years that I was in high school three and a half years I had Mr. Schiff and Jules Schiff and after a while we just became close he was a very very quiet they used to call him Whispering Schiff but he and I started a relationship and it was really nice. He and his wife never had children and so family night his wife came to meet me and my parents it was nice and he and Mr. Schiff oh oh and that Mr. Schiff and he was at our wedding you know he and his wife he was just a a nice nice person he used to say to me Janet you reach for the stars but always reach and if you can get to the one right underneath the top one you're okay you'll be okay just reach and you'll be okay but don't go high go to the second level and you'll be fine. Janet will later become involved in community and then international leadership we'll get to that but her first leadership role was in high school. I was the vice president of the senior class it was my first real leadership and so we had [BLANK_AUDIO] meetings the first period of every day and that's when I had typing. I wound up getting it in typing without having been there and so my mother did all my typing all through college as well. She typed all my papers and then when I married Irwin and I went and taught the secretaries in the school I taught and did my typing and Irwin's secretaries in his office did my typing. I still some time. I'm a computer one thing at a time. Janet's mother going to work at a big department store while Janet was in high school had its advantages. When I was 16, 17 I would go down to meet my mother and she would take me across the street, not to A&S. She would take me across the street to rustics. That had this wonderful coat department and I would, the sales girl would bring out coats, you know, and she'd they would show whatever coat and I would be able to try on one coat after another from the sales girl and then buy one. Would you ever when I picked out? And afterwards there was a horn and horn and hearted restaurant, you know, a horn and hearted automat that you put a nickel in the slot and you'd get crumb cake or put other nickels in and get tea, you know, and my mother and I would have tea and crumb cakes every time I went to buy a coat and such because normally my mother would come home from A&S with packages and we would able to try on clothes and she would take back anything that we didn't like. And the advantages didn't end with her own children. Janet and her husband Irwin have three children, Robin Mark and Scott and when Molly became a grandmother to Janet's children, the store began to become known at least by them as Bobby's store. The first thing that she did was work in the baby's apartment and she loved it because she loved babies and you know helping women buy things for babies and for children. But soon after she was taken upstairs to the credit department and started working on the credit and then she became a assistant credit manager in A&S. Even pot time, still pot time because she never worked past four o'clock. That was I think, you know, I used to bring Robin to pick her up and bring her home and Robin. Her office was on the floor of the toys. Toys that old department was toys and Robin would come in and she would take a carriage and fill it up with things that she wanted and what's what's there. I'll never forget it. She goes ahead and she is filling up the carriage and a sales girl comes over and says, "Excuse me, you know, little girl, you can't do that." She's a little girl, look. So Robin looks up at her and she says, "But this is my Bobby store and I can have what I want." So my mother comes walking out of the office. I don't know if this one she says, the sales girl, don't worry. She picks out the necessities and I'll take care of it. Not a problem, but that was Robin. This is my Bobby store. During Christmas, they used to have a big in the toy department. They used to have Santa Claus sitting there with all the all kinds of decorations for Christmas and I showed Robin and she went online to go up to sit on Santa's lap. I had a very close friend's Mary Ann and Jill Maderano that I met when I started teaching and we always went to decorate their Christmas tree and she would always have things under the tree, Mary Ann for Robin and Mark Ben and Scott and such. But that day, Robin was a little little girl and she went and she sat on Santa Claus's lap and Santa sat on her so my little girl, what would you like me say and say to bring you for Christmas? She says, "No, no, no. You cannot bring me something. You could bring it and bring it and put it under my Aunt Mary Ann's tree. But I'm a Hanukkah girl." Little Mark later also benefited from his grandma's store. Mark, I think every week, he got a new uniform in the mail. You know, UPS would come with a jet uniform, a giant uniform, from the head to toe, you know, and a football that went with it. And even with the baseball, yeah, that was one thing and my father used to come on Sunday and he loves playing with Mark. Absolutely. My father and his little hat and raincoat having winter coat, but he'd take them in the back in the back and play baseball with him. But let's get back to teenage Janet. She was just finishing high school and decided to go to Brooklyn College. She studied education and psychology. I was always a good student she tells me, "So I did well." And it was during those college years that she met Irwin, her future husband. They were both on a student trip to Florida. It was the first time I had ever flown on a plane and the plane was, someone says, it was a Hungarian plane that was part of the war. They would bullet holes on it and it's a little bumpy. 11 hours to get to Florida. Could you imagine 11 hours on a plane to get to Florida. No seats sitting on the floor of the plane. And then I met Irwin and he was sitting at the pool and he said to me, "You know, I scratch my back and instead I threw him in the pool and that's when we started to see each other every night." But it was nice, you know, it was nice. So I was an extremely respectful young man, handsome, much taller than I was so I could be a heel and such. So we hooked up and then going home, we had the same plane. We were sitting on the floor and I ate an orange and stuff and wound up throwing all over Irwin. It was terrible. I was so upset and so nervous that I would never see him again, so I was just throwing up all over him. But he came down and he met my mother and father at the plane and then following day he called. And after he called her, they went out on their first official date. First date was when we took a ride on a Sunday and he took me out to meet his parents and he was visiting his aunt and uncle who they used to go to every Sunday in Leviton. So we went out and I met his parents immediately and the family and that was really something coming back. Irwin came up to the house, to the apartment and my father orphan, my mother orphaned ice cream. My father being nervous and he was nervous because he didn't know what was going on with that with Irwin. The ice cream shell and Irwin's lap and my father was munching it and cleaning it off. It was really funny. It was a funny scene and believe me, a very funny scene. Irwin was romantic, Jenna tells me. I used to get a card at once a week in the mail telling me how much you love me. Really beautiful cards. I probably have most of them. What were the qualities that attracted you to Irwin? I asked her. Irwin was very handsome, tall and handsome, quiet. And we seemed to like the same things and enjoyed going to sporting events. We went to West Point. And remember, I moved sort of them play football at the West Point. And it was gentle and he loved sports. It was a good athlete. I guess it was the right time for both of us. Janet and Irwin have now been married 65 years. I asked Janet to share some marriage device based on our life experience. I was just a tell my grandchildren. children when they were getting married. You can argue, don't argue, dialogue, never go to sleep, angry. You can disagree with one another, and believe me, I went and I didn't agree with all times, but we managed to do things, and I have to say that I went was, he was very anxious to do what I wanted, I needed to do. We never had a problem with what I did with all of the different organizations that I was with. It was always very supportive of everything. And we seem to have the same feelings about how to bring up our children. So a few months after they met, Janet and Irwin were married. We had a beautiful wedding at a synagogue, I had a beautiful gown, that my mother did not make. Irwin was in tails, and it was a very cold, cold, cold night. In fact, the limousine picked me up, and she'd take me to the hall. You couldn't open the windows. It was a great wedding. They then moved to Douglaston, Queens. We moved out to Douglaston, long because my mother's very closest friend, they were in the Ten of the House together, moved to this new community in Douglaston, and she said, apply for an apartment, and I wound up getting in one bedroom apartment right across the street at I called her Aunt Jane. We figured, okay, we like being out there. Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens. As we were in the middle. And then Janet starts to work as a teacher. I love teaching. I loved it. Second, third and fourth. I never, ever took a grade on the same grade every year. That was me. I liked it. Be fresh and be prepared with new things every year. That would be helpful to the children that I was teaching. I first taught in Brooklyn. I taught a third grade in Brooklyn. It was very interesting to me. Here I was right out of college. And when I called for parents, for teaching, you know, teach a parent the conferences, I was as nervous as this could be. How am I supposed to tell a parent what, you know, about their child, you know? And it was something. But the first conference, right, the parent comes up, mother, mother comes up, and she's more nervous than I am. Right. It was a blue collar community. And the teacher was the queen. That's it. The mother was so frightened that the teacher would have something they had to say about their children that you didn't have. When I, I didn't have that same kind of thing. When I, like, tore out on the island. And that was good. And I never forget the first year teaching in Brooklyn. The came March, all of a sudden. I had very few children in the classroom, chickenpox, or measles. That was the time when they all had those spring, you know, things. And the class was half empty all the time. It was interesting. And it experienced a disturbing incident before starting to teach on the island. Interesting enough that the first job that I went out on the island was in New Hyde Park. And I had a very good interview. And they left me with the idea that there was a person that was on the turn of the leave. And I could take that position. Six grade class. It was in Douglaston. It was maybe 10-15 minutes away from the apartment. I was so happy it came home. I was elated. I said to Irwin, like, "God, I have this job. I know I'm going to get the, and I'm waiting and waiting. Never get the call." And I called up. And for some reason, it was a very strange kind of an answer that I was given. Oh, somebody else came back. And we don't have the position to figure. I found out that the reason that I wasn't given the job was because I was Jewish. Yeah. It seemed that New Hyde Park was very, very infestimative. And so when I had the interview in a planeage with the head of the board, you know, in the head of the school, he kept saying to me, "Gee, you know, your name is, your name is Rosen. And you have an Irish married name. And I looked at him and I said to him, "I am Jewish." And the Tobin comes from Taubin Kimmel. He started asking me all kinds of questions. And at that point, already, once I knew what happened in New Hyde Park, I was very, very, I was thinking very clearly that I better put it on the line of who I am. And so he asked me other questions. And then once again, he came back with, "Well, you know, Tobin is a very, very class, classic Irish man's name." I said, "Oh, your Jewish." And I got the job, but it was an interesting kind of an interview, you know. Keep asking me the same thing about my new last name, you know. But I got the job in planeage and I loved every minute of it. And when Robin is born, Janet decides to stop teaching and bring up her own children. "What kind of mother are you?" I ask her. "I'm a doding mother, loving. I love to hug and kiss them. I'd be a part of their lives." After I gave birth to Robin, I could have gone back to teaching, like so many people that I know, friends that I had. And we sat and we talked about it. And he said, "No." "You have to bring up our children. We're not going to, I'm not going to work to have somebody else bring up our children." So I always stay at home and I loved every minute of it. And I loved being with the kids all the time was one thing that I enjoyed very much. Robin was in every park under the sun when it was spring time, so it was mock. I had each child, each child had me for four years to themselves, actually, because Robin was four and a half, and she went off to school. And then I had mock. And after mock was four, I had Scott. So, you know, they're each four years apart and I was able to give them my all. I enjoyed motherhood. I enjoyed being pregnant. I looked beautiful when I was pregnant and felt it and had beautiful babies. Easy, thank God. And it was nice. All three of their children are very athletic. Robin was a swimmer. That was basically, and she was always on a swim team during every summer. She was three years old when she started swimming on a swim team. My favorite picture of mock that I have is when he was little, very little, he had a football in one hand and a bottle in his mouth, little leg up. This is my favorite picture of him as a little guy. He always had a ball in his hand. That was it. He Scott liked to play with the GI Joe Legos. I mean, anything that was fine, he was just a natural at sports. He loved soccer. And little league was okay with Scott. Little league was wonderful with mock. And Erwin was great. He was coach of little league, especially with mock because Scott went to little league. I don't remember him being in little leagues except for the one time. And he used to just hit the ball and it would go very, very far. And he would just walk around the bases. It was like nothing to him. It wasn't like Mark loved, loved playing baseball. He was terrific at it. He was a catcher, the catcher, and everyone was his coach. And Scott then in high school, of course, he played soccer. Mark played soccer. Mark in high school was on the swim team. Scott, as a senior, played lacrosse. And it was at a lacrosse game, Janet Lapps, that she, as a spectator, was sent home by none other than Scott. Owen and I used to be at every event. Every game they played, every team event that they played, we were always in the stands. And when Scott was finished with soccer, so he decided to play lacrosse. After soccer, the team was completed in the fall, then the spring time came, and it was lacrosse. So I went to his first game, home game. And as they're playing, I see somebody from the other team come after Scott with his lacrosse deck. And he's about to go. And I ran onto the field and said, do not hit my son. My son's got looked at me and he said, go home. And then when he was in Brandeis and playing soccer, we were going to go up to watch him in one of the meets. And he said, ma, you can come to the game. But you cannot open your mouth. You cannot say a word. You cannot move. That was an experience, yes. But it was my baby. Throughout their childhoods, Jan and Irwin were always involved in their children's social activities, as well as opening up their home to host their friends at all times. Everyone was always the coach of the sporting events for the boys. I was always there when it came to cub scouts, girl scouts, and having the meetings in the house in my house, having the kids in the house all the time. The Hebrew school friends were always in our house. Robin's high school Hebrew friends, were there every Friday night. Saturday, they came to be in the house with a rabbi that was in charge of the Hebrew high school. They would come and spend time in always in our house. Mark also had a rabbi that in the high school Hebrew high school that he was close with his friends. And Mark was interesting when it came to-- he was on the swim team. And he had a marvelous coach. But he and two of his friends on the swim team went to services every Saturday. And so when the coach decided to call swim practice because they were in championships at that time, on Saturday morning, Mark said, that he and his two friends went to the coach and said, can we come and do practice before we got a synagogue? And the coach put it to the whole team. And the whole team said, we'll join Mark, Ezra, and Stephen at the time that they could come to practice. So the whole team came early and then Mark and his friend, Ezra and Stephen would shower and go to show. And so this was something that Erwin always did with what he did with the teams that he coached. He never allowed anyone to say, oh, I have to go to little league. And that goes to synagogue. Or I have to be at little league and not go to church with my, you know, at that time. And so everything he coached, his team was always one that couldn't start playing until two o'clock in the afternoon. And that innovative approach of his towards sports was eagerly adapted by the community. And throughout Erwin's many years of coaching, his league grew and grew because it made sports accessible to all. Besides being involved in sports and their children's social activities, Janet and Erwin became connected and active in their synagogue. And this became a major part of their life and a movement that they both developed more and more in. A little after Mark was born, Janet tells me, we joined our community synagogue. Erwin was encouraged to become the Israel bonds and UJA chairman. And she became involved in sisterhood. We were very, very involved, especially with Israel at that time. And I was-- and because Erwin and I did not have family in the show, but when we came to Marathon, many of our congregants that we became friendly with were in the show, unfortunately. And so I was a program person. And I always started the studio, my show, a program. And sisterhood always worked on those programs. So we started to get very involved with learning about the Holocaust. It really became something that we wanted to learn more and more about. And we learned a lot from the congregants that were part of the show, although they never spoke before. One of the young women that was part of our congregation never spoke about her experiences. And she was a mingly doing experiments on young girls and on her legs and stuff. And she never, never, ever spoke. And I think that Erwin and I had them understand that their voice was very important. And when it came to Israel, we had a very dynamic rabbi that-- but he was a dynamic speaker. He could speak like Bibi Nitsinah, or I mean, that's the kind of speaker he was. Rabbi Dicca, his name was-- he just inspired us to become activists. And you just can sit down and be there. You've got to be doing an active-- becoming activists. And that's what we did. Erwin and I both became very, very strong activists. And we brought our children wherever we were. When I was setting tables at the synagogue, the kids were there setting tables with us. When we did an Israel expo, our kids were part of the whole. Everything that we did, they were always a part of everything that we did. They came first. And so they came with us. I have pictures of during the expo of Mark and Scott with brooms. And so every rally we went to, we went. Our kids were always there. She even recalls once, when young Mark got lost at a rally after running towards a high score girl, he mistakenly thought was Robin. And all of a sudden, we hear on the loudspeaker with the parents of Mark Tobin, please come to the police station and pick up your son. So that was there. But we either just brought our synagogue with us for every rally. And organized rallies to Washington for the community. Erwin was always an organizer to do that. And I helped him. We went on the buses. And so this is who we were. It was just a part of us. Janet, early on, was offered to become president of Sisterhood. It was called by one of the sisterhood presidents that had been president before. She asked me if I would take the presidency of Sisterhood. And I said, I'm thrilled. And I'm so happy that you asked me. But I can't take it because she said, why? Why can't you take the-- because I'm pregnant. And I'm going to be giving birth. So she says to me, that is an answer. The first answer that I ever received from anybody to tell me that they couldn't take the presidency. soon after Scott is born. one. I started taking I took the presidency. Janet started a program through Sisterhood that Tuesday's were learning days. They would learn in the morning and go on trips in the afternoons. And one year Janet organized a three-day trip for the group to Washington. We did a whole bunch of stuff and it was a great trip. And the last event that I planned was the Israel Embassy. And so we all went to the Israel Embassy. We were given a wonderful talk by the head of the embassy and cookies and all kinds of things. And then we got on the bus and we're on our way home. And somebody said, "Okay Janet, what are you doing for us next year? Where are we going next year?" And I said to them, "How about Jerusalem? Israel?" They said, "Okay." They signed up. And 1987 it was that we took a whole bus load to Israel. Yeah, for it was great. I mean it was the for it was a terrific trip. Another story from a trip to Washington that Janet remembers with a smile is at a large rally supporting Israel with thousands of people that they took their congregation to. At the time, Mark was in college. I made a whole batch of schnitzel. Okay, chicken cutlets. And I said, "When Mark said, "Okay, Mark, I'm going to move be at the rally." They came from Brandeis. They were going to be at the rally. I said, "Okay Mark, I'm bringing chicken cutlets." He says, "My, how are you going to meet me at, you know, what are you going to do?" Anyway, low and behold, we were on the whole. The whole lawn was filled with everybody and I'm looking around and there was Mark. So I walked over. I said, "Hello Mark. Here's your chicken cutlets. His friends were hysterical from him." Doesn't matter where our kids are, we're always together. And as Pearl be expected, she notes, "Soon after reaching adulthood, the talk of her children making Alia began. Mark and Scott both live in Israel today, as do Janet Irwin, who share their time between their home and great neck and their home in Ranaana. The first to make Alia was Mark, with his wife, Doty, and three out of their four children. When my son and Doty said they're making Alia, I Irwin and I supported them, 100%. It had to be. Mark was in love with Israel. Doty was in love with Israel. How could they not? I was involved at that point, really involved already. And I became Israel's first chair of women's league. As I said, Irwin was busy with Israel bonds in UJA and JNF and such. How could we not be supportive? We brought our children up that way. There was an illness from the time they were little. When Mark graduated Brandeis, and he had made going into Cardozo Law, he had come to Irwin and I and he said, "I'd like to put up going to law school and go to Israel for the year." And it was the first time he ever heard his parents say, "No, you can't." When you go to Israel, you go when you finish law school and you have what to give. You can't go and get the end. You know, they have enough, Irwin, you always used to say, they have enough orange pickers. They need you to come and to give of yourself. And that's what Mark and Doty always did when they were here. Until they themselves made Alia, JNF and Irwin weren't Israel often. Through their support of Israel activities. My activities with the conference of president, so it was here all the time. When I came, I always made sure to be here in extra week or extra time. And even if I was at a meeting, Irwin and I one day, I'll never forget it. We were at a meeting and we excused ourselves from the meeting because Metani was having a karate time and he was going to be doing something to get a new belt. I mean, that's so much. I know about karate. So we left the meeting and we went to where Metani was taking his karate and getting his new belt. And we walked in quietly and all the sudden Metani looks at us and with this big smile and then he starts and the sense at the end said, "Metani, that was terrific. You were great." That was important for us. It was important for us to be a part of their lives and we were here very often to do so. And the other thing that was great was when we were in Mark's house, once and it was a Friday and Doni went off to give birth and we were in the house and that was a funny story because they were very quiet. They didn't want the neighbors to know that Doni was going to have the baby. Okay? She was a labor and going to have the baby and they tiptoed up the steps and they got into the car and all of a sudden the one started because when he opened the door of the car he somehow had it triggered the alarm and the whole neighborhood knew that Doni was going to have a baby. And I was lucky to be there when she gave birth to Maria and I brought home from the hospital. I ask Janet to describe to me what she loved most about her community and Zionist activities. She first says how much she loved inspiring women with her own personal love of Judaism. The other thing that I really love was setting up educational programs which is another thing that is part of who I am. So being part of Winsley I really was extremely active as a woman's league person and when I became president I realized now how there are certain things that I'm so proud of of what I started and they're still going. You know I started a program here in Israel at Shecta of women's study and we now we in 25 years it's still going on which is very exciting to think about that something I sat in the office I said well this beautiful learning is going on but what about women? Shouldn't we start a women's learning here right here and now? And they did so and the program they started then is still going on. She also loved the writing of a Seffel to Wa for women's league. What prompted her to do so was once when they planned a conference and then when they came to hold a rehearsal and everybody came for the rehearsal of the morning service because we did chocolate and we started in the lobby and the god by of the Hillcrest Jewish center said you can't come in to my sanctuary. You can't touch my toe. We had to find a new place for the spring conference. This was a week before spring conference because this guy would not let us into the sanctuary. Found another shoe that let us come but I never forgot that never ever forgot that and so when Erwin said something to me about she why don't you write a Torah for women's league. They should have their own Torah so nobody will ever tell them they can't touch a Torah. It'll be your Torah that is Scribe writes just for you and I did. We did it and we wrote an unbelievable Torah which sits at the Jewish theological seminary so it's used every week and they always asked me what prompted you to write that Torah for women's league and I told in the story about that Gabi not allowing us and I said to them nobody nobody will ever tell us that we cannot read from our Torah and that was the reason that that Torah was very successful and it's still being read and it conferences it comes to conference so that's one of my the things that I did while I was president. I was very successful Here I was, a little shy, naive girl growing up in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, low middle class, low economic strata had everything I could possibly want, especially having terrific grandparents and wonderful parents. And there are other things that I could say that are very special, but those two things that I brought to women's league, the study days, because now the studies days have become international and they zoom from all over all over, and that's very, very exciting for me to think about. Nowadays, Shannon's volunteer work is focused on a children's home in Kiliatagat called Nevechana, for children who are moved by the state from their homes. Now working for the children at Nevechana, in Kiriatat, I have also wonderful, wonderful proud things that have occurred. And one of the things was also the writing of a Sephardic Torah, because 95% of the children have a Sephardic background that are there. And we had the Torah dedicated, the morning of dedication, toady toadlock, we have to be there. And she was at that dedication at Nevechana, which was very special for me, because I've always been very proud of all the things she's done, but she's always been very proud of the things that I accomplished. And it was so wonderful having Mark and Dolly there. And I'm always there with the children. And that's what I'm saying, that my children and grandchildren are very much a part of every single thing that I have ever done. And that I wouldn't have ever done. We had an exciting life, very exciting, but our children have always been a part of it. And now with Nevechana, I'm so excited that I'm challenged to bring new things for them. During Corona, American friends of Nevechana built a library on the premises. Thousand books we have for the children just to enjoy reading. They were closed in. They had no way of being out because of the Corona. And this was a highlight. And I was so proud last year. Right after my Robin was here with the whole family, Fisherville-West. And Robin's always been involved with Nevechana on the board. And so Aviva became part of the board of American friends in Nevechana. And so did Rafi, her husband. And when we came home from Chivouis, after Chivouis, Noam and Sammy, who was here with him, said, "Bubby, can we go on the board?" So now I have a whole young leadership part of the organization that is our family. So as far as many people of Robin's friends that have become donors at Nevechana, they call it the family, Robin's family's organization. And so it gives me a great deal of pleasure working and thinking and coming up with new ideas for us to be able to bring joy to these young people that are brought in to Nevechana by the courts, for them to break loose of what they came from and realize that there's such beautiful human beings. And this is what we do. Throughout her life and mainly well involved with international work for Israel causes, Jenna tells me she was fortunate to meet many interesting people as well as world leaders. I met with kings and we met with foreign ministers and the heads of the governments. I introduced Merkel before she became prime minister. I introduced her in a meeting, conference of presidents meeting. And it seemed like every time we were in Jerusalem I got to introduce Omair to all things. But I introduced the shaman parades. I was in meetings with every military person. We had towards the end of our conversation. We might request to Janet that she tell me something she particularly appreciates about each of her children. I have been proud of every single one of my children and every one of my grandchildren. And they know that Robin is a terrific mother, terrific grandmother. She's too much like me and my mother, maybe. And she's just a warm, wonderful human being. And she is a great friend. And Mark has always been. He was my middle child. I never wanted him to ever feel like a middle child. But that doesn't happen. A little children always somehow feel like middle children. I was a middle child too. Mark has always been very special. He is a special human being. He's bright. He's helpful. He's giving. And he's a wonderful son. He's a wonderful husband. And I see him now as a grandparent and father. He's exceptional. And I'm always proud of him. Whatever he does. Whatever he does or whatever he's a part of. I'm proud of. Scott. Scott is also. He's a wonderful human being. He has a wonderful way about him. He's loved by a lot of people. He has been extremely successful as the other two have been. He's extremely successful in what he does as far as his job, his work. He's a builder. And he's a very fine young man. And for all that he has accomplished, he's still very humble. And he's also a terrific husband and father. And he's a terrific son. And I couldn't ask for anything out of the three of them that they already give me. They gave me great terrific grandchildren, unbelievable grandchildren. Each one of them is better than the next. And I feel very, very blessed that I have a wonderful, wonderful family. I love being a part of their lives. And now with six great grandchildren, I'm a very lucky, lucky person. We finished with her advice for those beloved next generations of her family and how to bring up their own children and live their lives with a purpose. Be warm and be a hugger and a kisser. And hold them, hold them tight to you. Make them feel your heart beating for them. Be proud of them and all of them. Listen to them. Listen carefully of what their needs are and what their strengths are. And make sure to be a part of their lives. Know their friends. And make them feel that you are proud of them and happy to be part of their lives. But give them space and let them grow. And may remember, always remember, family is their priority. First comes first, and then make sure you're not sitting back and let others do things. Become activists, become activists in your community, come activists in your world because it's needed and especially beautiful people like who they are can bring that beauty and love to the world, which I think Erwin and I have tried to do all the time and we hope that they follow in that way. Janet Tobin grew up in neighborhoods of lower socioeconomic status but never felt she wanted for anything. Surrounded by loving family and friends and parents and grandparents who instilled in her the love of Judaism, she grew up to become a leader in Jewish and Israel support movements within her community in Israel and internationally. She lives her life based on her beliefs of being a doer for others, loving and involving family in every aspect of life and being active and optimistic whether things are good or challenging. She is warm and smiling, cares about others, has made and continues to make a change in this world and is a source of inspiration for many. We wish you many more years of happiness, health and family time Janet, your loving family. You have just listened to "Life Storyteller" by Yakir Wazel Azulay. you