Speaker 1Shut up, and sit down. Welcome to Being On Stage, the only podcast that gives you motivation, inspiration, and confidence to be better on stage. No matter how you entertain, sing, dance, band, comedian, public speaking, MC, drag, burlesque, performance art, or street performer, this is the show for you.
Speaker 2Hey Rockstars, Reggie Dawson, host of the Being On Stage podcast. Thanks again for tuning in. Welcome back. All that good introduction feel-good nonsense. Now listen, I'm on a roll here. Still day three, but I've done four podcasts in the month. But we're doing podcasts every day in July. July seems to be a really strong month for me. It's like a month of comebacks, or a month of success, if you will. Short history about the month of July. In 2011, my now wife and I, well, we're not really married, but it's one of those, like, we've been together for almost 11 years, and she is very much my wife. The only thing that's missing is a marriage and a piece of paper. But in all other aspects, she's very much my wife. And in 2011, we ended up going through, like, a financial crisis, and our daughter was five at the time. Yeah. And the only way that we would have avoided basically couch surfing and sleeping at a friend's house and almost being homeless with a five-year-old is we decided that she and our daughter would move back to Massachusetts for a few months. And, you know, I would get some financials together, find a new job, get everything together. She would finish a worker's comp suit that she was in the middle of with her former employer. And, you know, we would just get back on our feet, spend a few months apart. And everything would be fine. So our daughter ended up going through first grade up in Massachusetts, and second, third, fourth, and fifth. Yes, five years apart. And they came back in July 2016. And, you know, when it comes to performing and everything, I've always been very strong in July. This podcast was strongest last July. So July is a very strong month, and it seems to be a month of mystery, if you will. So this July, July 3rd. In 2019, I get a message from someone who I honestly haven't heard from since an event that we did together in October 2018. So that's, what, like nine months of pregnancy, basically. Haven't heard from her, haven't talked to her. The whole deal was, and this is a little bit of a back story and just kind of sharing what I'm dealing with as an entertainer and as a performer. And you've probably dealt with something similar. I've dealt with it in the past. But we ended up doing an event together. And by we ended up doing an event together, I mean I was advertising my services as an emcee, and she contacted me. And we ended up talking. We ended up hitting it off, like really hitting it off in a professional manner, of course. You know, I mean, we had the same ideals. We just, like, we just clicked, you know. And the conversation was good, and it was healthy, and it was positive. And I felt empowered. I felt, and, you know, she seemed really on board with everything that I had to say. And so she booked me as the emcee. And one lesson I learned from this is when it came to talking money, and this is a hard subject to broach a lot of times. When it came to talking about money, I followed what I was told by a speaker, that when you're booking yourself for services, don't quote a price. Instead, ask what their budget is. So that way, either way, you don't come in too high or too low. Because, you know, if it's this, like, prestigious thing, and they're going to pay you $2,000. $2,000 or more, and you say, oh, yeah, like $450, then, you know, you're undervaluing yourself. Whereas, if it's a $450 event, and you quote a grand, you might end up, you know, overshooting and losing the booking. So I've always been told, ask what their budget is. And a lot of times, their budget will be extremely low, and you decide at that point if you want to work with it. So I asked what the budget was, and the response I got was, not much. So lesson number one, you've got to work out some sort of, I guess. I should have worked out some sort of, like, actual amount. Like, you know, are we in the ballpark of, like, $150, $200, $5,000? Like, where are we at? So we didn't actually get to a quote or any kind of budget or anything. And I jumped on board. It was a really good event. It was an event for a dog charity, an adoption charity. And I'm all for, like, pet adoption and taking care of homeless and abandoned pets. I'm all for those charities. Like, honestly, my charities of choice. They're like pets, kids, vets, and the arts. Like, that's my thing. Four subjects. Pets. Or how did I put it to my wife? Kids, pets, arts, vets. So it rhymes. Anyways, that's neither here nor there. So I jumped on board to this event in October. And through working with her and through learning more about the event, the marketing piece wasn't really there. They weren't really pushing it hard. They were, honestly, way. Way overcharging what should have been charged for this type of event. I mean, it was outdoors. It was, I mean, it was, honestly, it was a really good event. But the timing was terrible. It was the same time as this other huge festival put on by the city. And they were charging, like, $10 to $15 to get in. And there just wasn't a whole lot going on there at all, really. And it was out at the fairgrounds. And our fairgrounds are quite large. So all that put together, the event wasn't, you know, coming together quite well. So I offered some additional services. You know, I offered to help them run some Facebook ads, try and get some people interested in talking about it. And by the time everything was approved and the amount it was approved at, there really wasn't any saving this event. You know, I tried my best and everything. And I don't hold anyone responsible. I'm not taking the blame. I'm not placing the blame on anyone. It just wasn't planned well. And by the time. By the time everything had come together, it was very late in the game. Now, one thing you should know about most events, because at some point you're going to do an event and work with some organization, most organizations struggle putting together large events. It doesn't matter whether they're an experienced organization or if it's their first event they're putting together. There's always a struggle. And there's always some things that happen at the last minute. And as an entertainer, you kind of got to just go with the flow. So, you know, I went with the flow and everything. We changed the layout at the last minute. Because there wasn't a crowd. We pushed everything way, way back. Like, instead of starting at the MC and the, you know, announcements and the engagement at, you know, like 2 o'clock, we started at like 4.30. And it was just. The execution wasn't there. And I was off my game because it was an insanely small crowd. And listen, small crowds are great. It gives you a chance to interact with them more. I got to interact with the kids a little bit. We played a couple of games. We played games with like three or four dogs. And, you know, it was. It was a good little event when I was MCing and actually talking to the people. So, you know, the small crowd does give you that opportunity to be a little more fun and engaging and kind of like talking to them. But at the same time, it can be incredibly difficult if you're planning things on a grander scale. And that's kind of where I was there. Plus, not for nothing, this is my first time MCing in a few months. Like, I was just starting to gain traction and everything. So, the deal I ended up working out with this individual, you know, back to my original story. The deal I ended up working out with this individual was that, you know, we would work out payment at a later date, which, by the way, never happened. So, again, when you're talking payment, it's a subject that's hard to broach, but we got to broach it. And I'm still working on that myself. Believe me. It's a never-ending process, but it has to happen. You kind of have to just step up and say, I'm worth it, you know. And I should have done that because I ended up walking away with nothing. We had also worked out to where. I was trying to gain traction as an event manager. Not really a manager, but like an event consultant and an MC that I would at least get a testimonial from her and a testimonial from the organization coordinator. And neither of which happened. We said, oh, yeah, we'll meet up. We'll talk about it. We'll work it out. You know, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Next thing you know, it's freaking July 1st, and I still have no testimonial from anybody. And it. I felt. I felt completely screwed over because how this ended up happening, we left the event of, oh, yeah, absolutely. I know I got to do that video for you. I watched them pay the DJ. I watched them pay the band. Like, literally stood there and watched them. And they turned to me and said, well, we really appreciate you coming out today. And I got nothing. And it was heartbreaking, you know, because I felt like, okay, yeah, these guys showed up. And, yeah, I mean, he pushed play on some music and everything. I mean, the DJ was on point. Don't get me wrong. And the. The band, well, the musician was really good. But I felt like I was really good, too. And I also did some work and some marketing and everything for the event. So I was really, really undercompensated, meaning, like, I earned nothing. And it hurt. Like, it stung a little bit. So in my heart of hearts, I'm like, it's okay. I'm going to get the testimonial. I'm just starting out. It's only my second or third event. It's no big deal. No big deal. So as we progressed, you know, I never got the video. never got the video and this girl like dropped off the face of the planet I mean, like I would, I would message her and follow up on it. We're talking like in January, like I followed up about two weeks after the event. I followed up another week after that, another couple of weeks after that. And she responded, oh yeah, I'm going to do it this day. I got a lot going on. I got it. Listen, I'm not holding grudges here. Well, I kind of am a little bit. I got to talk through this because this is all having to do with this message I received today. I'm like 10 minutes in and I'm still telling you a story. Listen, if you're sticking with me so far, thank you. Thank you. Stay with me a little further. I'll wrap it up soon. So I end up today. Let's just fast forward. Long story short, after following up a few times, I stopped hearing back from her like three or like three times. And then I just, I just gave up. I said, you know what? Obviously it's not, you know, you can't trust everybody. I get that. I was really upset because I thought like we had like a special professional thing that like we could work together again. And it just, it just didn't work. And I stopped hearing from her and, you know, we remained friends on Facebook. And so often I thought about deleting her, but I'm one of those people that even if you post negative crap and even if I don't like what you have to say, I'm still gonna be your friend because, you know, your opinion doesn't have to be my opinion, whatever. And, uh, yeah. So I was like, oh, whatever, whatever. We'll stay friends. Maybe eventually down the road, something will click. And apparently it did. Today she sends me this message, apologizes for, uh, basically ghosting me. And, uh, asks and, and tell me, tells me, you know, that something about her ex-boyfriend and, and controlling and now she's got more free time and she's flying free and all this stuff. And she was now getting back to her true self and who she wants, who she is and what she wants to do and everything like that. And, um, you know, she, she apologized for what she did and, and kind of leaving me hanging on the video and not giving me the proper, I guess, um, acknowledgements that I deserved. And then, you know, it, it feels really good. You get those acknowledgements and even months and months later, it feels really good to get the apology. But at the same time, I've had this sort of thing happen in the past. And I think everyone does. We all do. We all have something like this happen in the past where, you know, someone says they're going to do something and they don't do it. Or someone, we feel like we get stabbed in the back or someone leaves us hanging on something. I've, I've had it happen before. I've had, I've had people intentionally get me fired from venues because they didn't like what I had to say. And they came to me for, for help. Uh, and you know what? You don't have to like what I have to say and that's, that's okay, but I'm still going to be a hundred percent real with you and tell you what you need to hear. Not what you want to hear. I'm not, I'm not here to build egos. You know, that's not what I'm about. Um, I'm here to build talent. I'm here to build your dream, help you build your dreams and help you step up to them. I'm not here to build your ego. The, the point is, is when this has happened in the past, I've, I've always been a very forgiving person. I've always just kind of let things go. And, and unfortunately. It is true that the, you know, people will continue to stab you in the back and take advantage of your kindness. And, and I, and I recognize that, but you know what? I think at the same time, no matter what, you're going to have that reputation of kindness. And as far as, as with me, like for example, and, and probably with you too, you know, people can say what they want about you, but if, if you're a kind person and you're a kind hearted person and you are forgiving and, and you are capable of letting things go, proceeding with caution, mind you, but still letting things go, you're, you're going to be, you're going to be known for that. And it may not be that individual, but other individuals are going to notice and people are going to take notice that you don't react in the same way that others would expect you to react. And by that, I mean, you're not snarky. You're not holding grudges. You're not busting people's balls for, for what they've done in the past. You know, you're recognizing the fact that we're all human because at some point you're going to do the same thing to somebody. I have absolutely done the same thing to somebody. I have literally, someone passed out flyers during their performance, like one of my friends do, like someone I helped start up and we kind of started together and helped each other out. One of my friends, we were in a competition together and she's, she's been really friendly about it. And I turned into a, a whole, uh, she had some props, part of her thing where she passed out like flyers to the audience. And I like tore a whole bunch of them up, like right in the middle of the show and walked out. Like I wasn't. I was like, ah, pardon the language. So I've, I've done things like that, you know, and, and you have too. And if you haven't, you will, whether intentional or unintentional, at some point, you're going to make someone feel the same way that I'm feeling right now. You know, I felt stabbed in the back. I felt like I was left hanging. I felt like what I was doing didn't matter. And yeah, it made me question it. Am I really good at who, what business do I have doing this? But you have to stay true to yourself and you have to be the one to remind yourself that you are worth it and that you will continue to be worth it. Even if other people don't immediately see your value, they will, and when they do, they'll tell you it may not be today and it may not be tomorrow and it may not be next week and it may not even be this year, but they will know your value. So you have to continue to be who you are. You have to be continue. You have to continue to be a person of kindness and of forgiveness and of gratitude. And I guess that's kind of where I'm at is, you know, I, I'm going to forgive her. I am. I'm going to, of course, you're going to proceed with caution. You're going to, you know, tread lightly, you know, maybe not throw the world at this person, but you know, I'm, I'm going to, you got to forgive and you got to try to let them back in because, you know, people do change. We're all human. We all make mistakes. We all get, you know, we all get taken advantage of and we all take advantage of other people. It's, it's, unfortunately, it's not going to happen. It's in our nature, but the magic also about being human is that we are capable of forgiving, moving on and re-accepting people back into our circle. And I guess that's what I'm going to do now. I'm going to send a message to her and just let her know, like, you know, we're, we're all good and figure out some way she can support me. That's the other thing is, is sometimes it is nice and I'm not, you know, I'll put this out there and I'm not ashamed to say it. Sometimes it is nice to have those people come back into your life and kind of, you know, kind of owe you something. It, it does help sometimes. Anyways, listen, if you want to jump on and talk a little bit about what you got going on, need some advice, just need a third party to, to throw some things at and get some ideas. I'm here for you. Hit me up. You can jump on my calendar at beingonstage.com slash calendar. What? And, uh, I'll give you a call at the date and time of your choosing and we'll talk through your stuff. And thanks for sticking through to the end. This was a, this was a long. But you know what? I needed it. Podcasting for me is a very therapeutic. So as always, rock stars, please keep on shining.
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