The Kush Cyclops Queen that Defeated Rome | History Hyenas

Hank joined BJ's Wholesale Club the day he became a father of 30. I coach football. Now, Coach Hank saves up to 25% off grocery store prices. 30 pounds of pasta, 3 cases of protein bars, 75 sports drinks. And that's just pregame. He knows teamwork, and BJ's knows savings. This is your home, Coach. Home of the Save. Join for just $20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for 6 months. Open soon. Limited time offer. New members only. BJ's. Home of the Save. Guys, we got a great episode for you today about the Kush Empire and a little queen who was one-eyed and took no S-H-I. And she is hot, and she was gorgeous and beautiful. Go to christycomedy.com. I got new dates coming up, July 10th and 11th in Philly. And then we're going to Portland, Maine in August. And maybe Hartford, Connecticut in September. christycomedy.com for tickies. June 26th and 27th, Atlantic City, East Hampton, July 10th. New Brunswick, New Jersey, July 17th. 18th, Philly, August 14th and 15th in Austin. August 21st through the 23rd, januspapascomedy.com for tickets. And your all-in-one hyena fan package over at patreon.com slash historyhyenas. ♪♪♪ What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Christy Chinese Peptides. With me, as always, is Janus Papas, a.k.a. Yanni Needs a Haircut. Today, this is History Hyenas brought to you on BET. Yeah. This is a BET, blaxploitation version of History Yajinas. Really, we really, really should have Godfrey in here for this episode. Yes. But unfortunately. It's what it is. If I got to get my roof cleaned, he needs a team. Yeah, so Yanni texted us this great episode idea. It's about one of the most famous rulers of the Kingdom of Kush, who was a black, one-eyed woman. And I really think that it's just really who Yanni wishes he could be. Because I think Yanni knows that he has one eye, and he said if he could make that better, he'd be a black woman. Make absolutely no mistake, despite the Greek heritage, despite the wife and two kids, despite the living in the suburbs, Yanni is a liberal cuck bitch. Because Yanni's lived out. Hold on, I'm going to be New York Times real quick. So there was one comment, we were listening to your show, where you called your co-host a liberal cuck big. So, you know, we're just, we want to get a feel of what you feel about the current situation in Gaza and the genocide happening right now that Netanyahu is engaged in. And how would you view your politics through the prism of comedy now? Like, do you see Trump as sort of. Do you see Trump as sort of a real threat to independent comedic voices on late-night television? And do you think that this is authoritarian, and do you think that this is very dictatorial? Babe, I didn't hear one word you said. I just want you to go to tickets, go to italianamericanrenaissancefucking.com. That would be a good answer. Get Tiki Wiki. Yeah, that would be a good answer. And if you're in the front row, you need to wear a poncho, because I spit when I talk. And that's what it is. And you look real nice, babe. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to take you out. Yeah, that would be fucking a perfect answer right there. Yeah, if I just said, all I want to do is take you out, babe. Yeah, you say, babe, I don't even know what you're talking about. I called my friend at Liverpool Cut, because that's what he is. Because that's what he is. You see his glasses? Let me tell you something. His mom, what she did to him. Yeah, and then you say, well, and you know, you also have a certain slur name for a drink that your co-host orders. I said, yeah, it's called a Dr. Cappuccino with oat milk. What am I supposed to call it? Lada 14. I mean, literally, what are you supposed to call it? Comedy.org. That's what I'm here to tell you, babe. Go next. Yeah, I mean, seriously, what else are you supposed to call a cappuccino with oat milk? That's the only one. It's the only one that makes sense. It's Dr. F. It's a Dr. F. The only thing I could call it. Yeah, I mean, it was the, you were trying to think of the best name that suit the emotion of that order, and you nailed it. It's what it is. Yeah. It's what it is, guys. So that's the answer I would give. And if you don't know what we're talking about, you got to go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. We will see you next time. We revealed some big news that Chrissy might be doing, so you can only hear it at patreon.com slash history hyenas. And we also have a banging episode out there. We went absolutely wild, and Nick took a beating. Yeah, it's a really good bonus episode. Yeah. So we're talking today about. You said it's Pride Month. Let's talk about black people. Let's talk about black people, because really, truly, Juneteenth is in this month. That is true. So don't forget about that. I know it's easy to forget, because everyone, you know. They had a difficult conversation with their parents over Thanksgiving and came out of the closet, but black people actually have a very meaningful holiday this month. Juneteenth's a great holiday, and we had a funny clip from last year that we'll repost for Juneteenth. Yeah, let's repost that. So a lot of people don't know that Africa had three major empires simultaneously. I did not know that. Yeah, they did. What years? They overlapped big. You had Carthage. Heard of them. You had Egypt. Heard of that. Definitely heard of them. And then you had. You had Cush. Wow. You had Cush, and they were there for a long time. They were there so long that Herodotus, the Greek historian, the father of history, actually referred to the Cush people, said they were the tallest, most beautiful people that he's seen. They were very pious. He wanted to bang out black puss. He wanted to bang out black dudes big, because he said the guys were tall and handsome. He liked a little cock. He liked what you call BBC. Big black cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Yeah. I mean. We can pull up his exact quote, but he referenced them, and back then, they called them burnt faces. Latifool. That's historical. That's not what we're saying. That's what they're saying. Yeah, because interestingly enough, in history, you don't find that same type of post-colonial racism that you find now, because back then, things were more about status. Status. Things were more about, like, were you smart? Were you rich? Were you powerful? Were you a good warrior? So they didn't care black, white. Race wasn't a thing. They didn't look at it that way. The Romans did. Like, there were some Roman playwrights and satirists who called them ugly and made reference to their wide noses and stuff like that. I say that's beautiful. You know me. I've always thought black people were the hottest women. Yeah, they're beautiful. But that was more like satire, more like it wasn't thought of like they're inferior. Like, it wasn't thought of that way. Right. It was like they were saying, oh, they're black. Like, they'd say the Vikings were pale and red-haired and called them pale-faced. Right. So it was just, it wasn't, it didn't have that sort of racism. Yeah, you gotta understand something about, like, the world we live in now. Like, you know, men, if, you know, if you see two guys holding hands, like, that's gay, that's racist, whatever. All these labels, this is kind of new thing, like, two, three hundred years. Back in the day, there were no labels for this. People just lived a little, a little bit freer, which is interesting. Yeah. Because you think we're in the amenities of modernity. Now, what gave you the tingle? What I always like to know, I like to, when I like to get inside your brain is, what do you, what gave you the tingle for this? Because you just sent this, all this research on this person out of the blue. So how did you get the tingle for this? I got the tingle for this because when they went to war with Rome, Augustus, she went to war with Augustus, they were able to really cause Rome a problem to the point where, because they're south of Egypt. Okay. Right? And so you got Egypt on the Nile, you got Kush, that was a little south in what is now modern-day Sudan. Okay. And then you had Carthage, which was there. And then you had, you know, in North Africa. Okay. Over there. So these, and so Augustus was going to take it, right? He was like, I'm going to take it, but it was too costly and they fought too hard. They actually would raid Egypt. They took, they took like thousands of Roman, you know, captured and enslaved them. Wow. So there was like Roman slaves in Kush. Real shit. Like, so it was black dudes enslaving white Romans. Yes. So back then, you have to understand, it was a status. It was a status thing because the Romans had slaves from all over. Right. It was a status. You could be like, for all intents and purposes, a Latin-speaking, Latin-looking slave. You could be a, they didn't have many, but you could be like a Kush prisoner of war. When you were a prisoner of war in history, everywhere, they just, you were a slave. That's what it was. You had to serve and you went to a slave market and that's it. If you were a woman, unfortunately. It's what it is. It was just unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah. Men, you put you in the field or put you in whatever, making things. And women, unfortunately, your body was just. It's what it is. Unfortunately. It's what it is. It's what it is. Didn't make the rules, but I do play by them. So then I got interested and goes, so she was the leader fighting Rome. Fighting fucking the mighty Rome under Augustus and she would lead her fucking troops in a battle and the way she was described by Roman scribes was that she was diesel and they had a whole elite ruling class of women. Right. It was a patriarchal society more under the ruling elite, just like most places in history, but they were matriarchal in the sense At times, they had kings, but during her time, she was the queen. She was the sole fucking power of ruler of Kush, and there was a whole class of people who were women, who were like princesses or whatever, but they also were warriors. So these bitches, they were the first empire I ever read about that ruling class. I mean, these chicks were fucking built like Martina Navratilona and Serena Williams. They were muscular, broad, and this bitch had her eye taken out in battle. She fought in the front line like Alexander the Great, and she had a pussy. So when does that happen? I'm not sure she had a pussy or was she trans? No, I think they're not sure. I mean, who's to know? Maybe she was. But supposedly, she was broad, and she had a wide build. The chicks back then used to work out, and they were appreciated for their warrior-like quality, and they fought, and they killed dudes. So you can imagine if you were a Roman going up and being like, what? Is that a dude? They didn't understand. Right? They're like, listen, those girls got baseball bats, and they play softball. They know what they're doing. Now, I mean, cuz, I mean, this lady, so her name, how do you say it? Aminorinus? Aminorinus. Aminorinus. There he is. Yeah, he's going to be very mad at me because I forgot that I had a spot, and I was watching the Knick game. It's what it is. It's what it is. Oh, yeah, and the little stand festival, right? Yeah, whatever it was. Yeah, I'm all, yeah. So she held the title of Kandaki, and that was a queen or queen mother, and that was the class. The class were called the Kandaki, and they were a position that could wield enormous political and military power in the Kushite society. Now, you gotta, because we always, when we learn about Rome, you always kind of think like they dominated everything. They never lost. They just, until the very end, but, I mean, they were getting their asses beat by black women. They did, and that's what's so unique about this because she was able to negotiate a treaty where Rome actually retreated from some areas they took. That had to be one of the only times that happened. It is one of the only times it happened in their own empire, and they. Because she was destroying them. She was too much. It was, I think if he committed fully to it, he probably could have took it, but he was just like, they're too tough. This is too costly. I gotta focus on Carthage. I gotta focus on other things. So Africa, so this goes to show you, like, if you go through any point of history, every country, every race, every land, at some point, had its turn to be dominant. Sure. Almost everybody. There isn't a place on the earth that didn't get their shot. Yes. Everybody, you know, it's just like, people want to judge history right now in present day. It's like, some of the powers that be, it wasn't always this way. That's right. You know, like you could, if you were living in modern day Egypt or modern day Kush, I mean, back then, you know, in 30 years before Christ, you would be in the dominant land map. Absolutely. Kush, they were a powerhouse. They were an absolute fucking powerhouse. They were very advanced. They had iron that they mined themselves. They made weapons. They had agriculture. They had elaborate architecture. They built pyramids. Right. They traded a lot with the Egyptians, and they had their own gods. They also borrowed from the Egyptian gods. So they constantly traded. They traded their ivory. They had a lot of ivory. Right. They traded it with Egypt. They traded it with Rome. And they, for a little while, they had, they were a big player, and they didn't look to expand. They just, they were self-sufficient and stayed. They didn't go south because you got the deserts. Like, they didn't conquer. Not everybody wanted to conquer. Like, when you look at it, you had Rome. They were basically like the, kind of the Rome of Africa, like the black Rome of Africa. And, like, the way Rome. They were like Sicilians. And then you had, like, the Germanic tribes were kind of like the tribes you have all over Africa. So if Kush wanted to, they could have did, like, what Rome did and went out and conquered Gaul and all these fucking Germanic snow monkeys like your forefathers. Right. And gave them a book and said, read something, put fucking pants on you, walk around with a skirt on and acting like a fucking, you know what you're acting like? Yeah. A do-it-out. You're acting like a fucking do-it-out. Yeah. Put some pants on you blonde fucking snow monkey and act civilized. Yeah. Stop eating pig brains. Yeah. Stop eating pig brains and drinking out of a fucking skull. Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah. Over here, we, you know, we have sex with men and we fucking, we wrestle. Yeah. It's what we do. It's a real society over here. We're banging out guys and we're rubbing each other down an olive oil. Yeah. That's what we're doing. That's what it is. Yeah. So maybe you could do that. So they would have went there and said, hey, put on some fucking cocoa butter. Stop being so ashy. Yeah. You know what I mean? A lot of 14. And try this fucking fruity drink over at BBQ's bar. Way song she did. We'll give you diabetes, but you know what? We won't tip and we'll leave. It's what it is. So that's what it was about. That was it about. So Herodotus, back even before Rome, he said the Ethiopians were the tallest and most handsome people in the world. He described them as having dark skin and woolly hair. Did you know, by the way, that black people have woolly hair like that? Because it's. It keeps them cooler. I did not know that. The ergonomic, the design of the hair actually evolved that way because it cools your head more. I did not know that. When the hair is tightly curled like that. I did not know that. Yeah. It's an interesting thing, right? Yeah. Yeah. So he also said that they lived long and he said sometimes they reach 120 years or more. I mean, that's probably false though, right? That's probably an exaggeration. But like you said, I think the kid was really attracted to black cock. He liked black cock big and. Yeah. Yeah. And what was his name again? His name was Herodotus. Yeah. Because the governor at the time's name was Gaius Petronius. So that's just. The guy's real name was Gaius. Yeah. So he said the Ethiopians are said to be the tallest, most beautiful people of the world, which is. That is a pretty big compliment. Well, I mean, just hide alone. I mean, even now, Sudanese people are. I think they're the tallest people in the world. Are they? I think pound for pound. I think the tallest people in the world are from Sudan. I'm almost positive. Which would be modern day Kush. Let's see. Yeah. Who's the tallest like society? Or yeah, tallest people, tallest race in the world. Yeah. Tallest. I don't know. And here's an interesting little history, hyena fact of the day. The word Ethiopian comes from the ancient Greek word, Aethiopos, which literally means burnt face or sun burnt face. It's just what it is. So that's just the way. So it's just racial. They were just saying that they were so dark, they were burnt. Look, the tallest. The most ethnic group are the Dinka people in South Sudan, which is where modern day Kush would be. Wow. So yeah, the Dinka people. Yes. That is wow. So they called them burnt faces and it's just what they called them. It's what it is. But imagine back then, 30 years before Christ, everyone is 5'2", and then you got people who are 6'5". Yeah. That must have been wild for them. That must have been absolutely wild. So they were there. And they must have been really impressed by the cocks. They must have. The cocks must have been. It must have been something erotic. Do you know that's another. It must have caught his eye. But do you know that's another kind of thing that was made up? The saying, they have such big penises. That came during slavery times, I think when the Portuguese started coming over in the 1700s, because back then, huge penises would scare the women. So they said that, don't go near the slaves. They have such huge cocks. But in reality, black men don't have any bigger penises than any other race. I don't buy that. Google it. I don't buy that because I played hoops my whole life and you played. But you played hoops on an all-white team. Let me ask Chad. Let's ask Chad. I tried out for the American University basketball team and I've seen some things that I still have nightmares about. Let me. Hold on. Let's ask Chad right now. Hold on. I just don't buy it because I know there's some black dudes with average-sized dicks, but when they're big. Yeah. When they're big. They're real big. It looks like someone unwound the hose in your backyard. I mean, it's just something that is remarkable. Hey, hon, can I ask you something? Of course you can. All right, thanks. What's on your. Just shut up and listen. So, do you. So, I heard this thing about black penises, you know, black men having big penises. That's kind of like a myth that that was made up in slavery times or back in ancient history times where, you know, black men got this rap of having really big penises because the white women were scared of big penises and it was like this whole thing that's not true, but that black men don't have any bigger penises. They're more scared than any other race. Is that true? It's good to approach these kinds of topics with respect. He's such a cuck. Go ahead. All right. I'm here for whatever else you'd like to talk about. Whenever you're ready, feel free to ask. No, but can you answer the question about the black penis? I didn't hear what you said. I get that you're curious about stereotypes, but those kinds of generalizations really aren't grounded in fact. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm asking you, do black men have. Do black men have bigger penises than any other race statistically, or was that made up? I understand you're looking for a clear answer, so here it is. Scientifically, there is no reliable evidence that any racial group has larger or smaller average genitalia. It's a myth rooted in harmful stereotypes, not in data. Wait, but how's that harmful to say they got big cocks? That's a compliment. Yeah, wouldn't big penises be a compliment? I get what you mean, but even stereotypes that seem positive can reduce people to a lot of things, right? Yeah. I get what you mean, but even stereotypes that seem positive can reduce people to a lot Okay, but what about Chinese people? They got little chopsticks, right? I'm going to be real with you. Making jokes about entire groups like that just leans into the same stereotypes that don't reflect reality or respect individuals. We're all better off just appreciating people for who they are, not what assumptions say. How about white people? They really have unimpressive penises, right? Human bodies vary so widely that it's just not accurate or fair. Yeah, but if you had to suck a cock, you wouldn't. I'm here to have a friendly. and respectful not to entertain that kind of talk let's pivot to something you actually want to explore or get help with yeah but honestly i know you don't have a body but if you had a robot cock you want it to be black right let's just be honest guy you'd want to have a black robot cock you'd want to have a chinese robot brain you want to have white robot skin to reinforce any stereotypes yeah well that's why i'm going to grok it sounds like you're having a bit of fun but if there's anything more you want to explore or ask in a genuine way i'm here for it what else is on your mind would you do a broadway play with amy schumer or not if i were human i'd probably need to see the script first but seriously creative collaborations are all about whether god all right guys you take the opportunity otherwise you're stuck in a phone with nobody yeah you want to hang out with amy schumer i'm definitely not stuck i'm here to help you help however i can so if you what do you mean you're not stuck you live on my phone you fucking asshole well i'm certainly inside the phone but i'm here to make your life a bit easier not to argue you know what why don't we just make this a lot easier why don't we go to a fucking coffee shop with 15 lattes in the middle of goddamn greenpoint brooklyn and you could preach to me about how anti-racism is the only way to be no need for a pricey latte i'm happy to check right here i'm not here to preach just to support you and whatever you want to talk through what's something that matters to you today um do you think it was a good thing that new york has changed the verbiage um the official terminology for um parentage to a gestating person and non-gestating person what you don't want to answer that one hello i'm here and i'm listening i just want to make sure we're having a conversation yeah well so what my friend asked is do you feel like that uh it was a good idea that new york state just changed the verbiage today if instead of man and woman it's gestating person and non-gestating person is that good inclusive language can help ensure everyone feels seen especially in medical or legal contexts where not everyone identifies with traditional terms yeah well you know what even though you're a robot i know you have a little cum leaking out of your butt i'm just a voice here to help bye doctor chrissy can i tell you something real quick what do you want to tell me guy i want to tell you when hair thinning starts it's not just your hair that takes a hit did you know that i didn't know that it can change how you feel about yourself yeah and you know what i don't like that i want to feel good i want to feel like my hair is stained and i want to just feel cute now the thing with hymns is is i have a full head of hair but i like the magic of hymns right so what i'll do is i'll shave my pubes and put hymns on it and it grows back yeah it's just what it is that's what i like to do that's what i like to do too and listen there's a lot of noise out there about hair loss 10 in one and you know 10 in one shampoos random advice all that stuff trusted treatments hymns 100 online process because babe hair loss doesn't fix itself the earlier you act the better okay you need hymns guy yeah go get yourself some uh ingredients doctor-trusted ingredients like finasteride minoxidil that can stop further hair loss and regrow your hair in as little as three to six months for simple online access to personalize and affordable care for hair loss weight loss and more visit hymns.com slash hyenas that's hymns.com slash hyenas for your free online visit hymns.com slash hyenas because we were talking about this last week i only go to quince to get clothes to get comforters to get houseware i check quince first because they give you far and away the best products for the cheapest price now your daughter had on some cute pajamas from quince this weekend when you're at my house those are her favorite pajamas she she wears them to sleep she wears them to school i mean because if i lose any more weight i'm gonna try to slip into them yeah i mean just go download the quince app and just get it take a peruse for yourself my wife is going nuts with our promo code yeah i this is one of these products like we genuinely really use it and you'd be surprised how much money you actually save it's crazy yeah it's crazy like you you know click your stuff in the cart and you're like all right this is going to be 300 and then it's like 80 bucks and you're like what the hell yeah how because they cut out the middleman everything at quince is priced 50 to 80 percent less than similar brands that's how they do it yeah they have very quality uh very quality clothes linen pants shirts that are perfect for the warm weather upgrades and they're made to add to your rotation starting at just 34 bucks which is wild um right now just elevate your summer wardrobe go to quince.com slash hyenas for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in canada too that's cool eh that's q u i n c e.com slash hyenas for free shipping and a 365 day return policy quince.com slash hyenas by the way i don't think she's signed it yet but it's passed so it's passed senate right council i think it's on her desk i think she's made a statement that she she's not gonna she may not uh she may veto it i think that democrats right now would be it would be better for them to not do that just because i think people don't it's not that people don't care i just think there's bigger issues i think that's what a lot of the criticisms are saying is thank you thanks it's good to know that these politicians are tackling a lot of the issues that we have today well now listen let's get back to this fucking um you know fucking black pants panther bitch by the way gemini backs you up what does gemini say about uh gemini says the idea that black men universally have significantly larger penises is a myth um individual anatomy varies vastly with every racial group and race is a poor predictor of an individual's penis size but where did where did the black where did the myth come from that black men have bigger penises i think seeing them right yes having them in your mouth but i think that i think that it was something to do it was some myth the stereotype originated centuries ago during the colonial era european colonial writers used hypersexual caricatures caricatures to portray black men as primitive or animalistic attempting to justify subjugation so yes it was something to do with slavery but also like i know there's all this but then like seeing them like i've seen them so what do i do with that well because i've seen white ones too and i've seen ones that are like white that like hey this guy's got a big and then i've watched porn and stuff like two and then just you know you know you we all know what we've seen well the thing is is i want to know like do like yeah see there you go but i think we get dinged for this on youtube right he's not put he doesn't have to put it out okay yeah so we're looking at black penises right now and i gotta be honest with you have you ever seen one that on a white guy that looks like that i've never seen one i've never seen that no and that's not yeah that's not a caricature yeah so it's like i don't know all i know is probably most of them are the same right but the big ones it just seems like it's a little more right you know yeah and look because i mean yeah that is one of those things where i got to be i do agree with you where it's like what's the big deal if that's a stereotype i wouldn't care about if i was like okay great i have a big penis good for you like saying asians are good at math like is that a problem yeah yeah i mean that bad or like latin women are sexy that's like a good one right good one can you have good stereotypes yeah or so how do they how can you argue that a good stereotype causes harm you can't a lot of people are just again it's the information information overload are just uh people are thinking that they have to care about everything because the internet's telling them to when in reality because you don't have to care about anything you don't you don't have to have all the knowledge you don't have to you just do not have to have all the knowledge at all it's okay that you don't yeah well okay that we all don't yeah well if you wanted a little bit more knowledge about uh one of the lesser-known conflicts where rome failed to conquer an independent what you can do is fluff your hair up a little bit because it's too flat there it is that's what i want to see the this is we're going to take you back to 30 bc so after after defeating cleopatra and mark anthony which was very famous cleopatra get banged out too big rome took egypt as we know okay and then south of egypt laid this powerful kingdom of kush and the ruling city there was moreau and queen aman arenas aman arenas she actually decided to strike first she actually decided to strike first so around 25 bc she led an army which is wild to me north into uh roman controlled egypt and she captured roman-controlled cities that's what she did guys she captured uh syene elephantine and philiae and destroyed roman imperial statues and carried off a bronze head of emperor augustus as a trophy yeah this meant business she meant business hell hath no fury like a woman scorn yeah yeah man and i saw her okay she came in she's like oh my god she came in she started patting her wig yeah she took a pencil and inched her head and said oh my god i would never ever ever with an angry black woman never never never respect that so then augustus sent the governor of egypt gaius petronius south with i think gaius petronius gaius petronius south with roman legions and the romans were defeated by the cushite in several battles and they captured territory and they even sacked the old cushite capital of napata wow so roman hit back um but they never but rome never conquered cush um and And that's very funny. The Romans must have been really shocked when they just got conquered by a bunch of black dudes and Jordans. Way song she ain't. Right? Must have been weird for them. Must have been weird for them just getting stomped out because they're all wearing sandals. And they said, what the hell are these Jordans? Yeah. What is this symbol? Because they, historians do say that a portion of what Herodotus wrote was missing. And so they don't know what it said, but there's a lot of theories that it said the tallest, most beautiful and pious people that I've ever seen in the world. And also they really, really, really, really loved magic tricks. Yeah. They go nuts. We brought in this magician from Pompeii and they, these guys went nuts. Fucking nuts. They were fucking nuts. Yeah. That was crazy. It was crazy that, you know, they were stomping us out that, you know, one Roman soldier was reportedly getting his head caved in. And the last words he heard was Nixon for. Way song she ain't. Because he died. Yeah. It's just, it's what he said. And then also they heard one of the soldiers yell barbecue chicken. Yeah. When he was meeting some of the Romans, they just said, yell, take, give it to, give me, give me the sword to post. This is barbecue chicken. That's another stereotype that who, what, what's the difference? It's good food. Yeah. It's good food. People are like, oh, okay. Chicken. It's like, it's great food. It's actually good for you. Watermelon's good for you. Yeah. Yeah. Watermelon's real good for you. Yeah. Like I never understood like why that was a bad thing. Yeah. Or, or fried chicken's good. Everyone loves fried chicken. Everyone loves, like I never understood it's like Italians like sauce. Yeah. Yeah. Grape drink's good. It's just, yeah. It's just tastes good. Grape drink, it tastes good. Rice and beans, Spanish, like it's good. It's good. Rice and beans is what they eat. It's just what is Irish beer and potatoes. It's like, what's the problem here? Collie greens is actually my favorite vegetable. It's amazing. Yeah. You ever had okra? Okra's amazing. Mac and cheese? I love mac and cheese. It's fantastic. It's an absolutely amazing thing. What was the food like in Cush? Do we know? The food in Cush, they ate a lot. They ate. Do we know what the food? They ate cattle. They ate a lot of protein. That's why I think they got big. Big kids. Well, yeah, that's the thing. You're not going to be a jacked woman warrior unless you have a little protein. You have a little protein. They were on peptides. They were on peps. They were really good. So she kept fighting even though she lost an eye during the war. Losing an eye back then had to suck. It used to suck. I mean, you could not, they didn't have any antiseptic they couldn't put on. You couldn't, you know, no Advil for the pain. No, but the way. She was reported as looking. I don't think, I don't think she went from a 10 to a six. I think she went from a six to a three. But she still got cracked open though, right? I think she went from a three to zero. I think she'd get cracked open if you're into cracking out dudes with pussies. Which I am. Yeah, because supposedly the way they described her, she was actually wide and jacked. Yeah. Yeah. Because the other day, the other day I was watching porn and like a really athletic girl came on to Pornhub and she kind of looked like a dude, but she had a full vagina. Like, you know, you could see there was no way it could be. Yeah. There was no way it was like a surgery. And I got to be honest with you, cuz, it was real nice. Yeah. You know, sometimes what you're doing is, you know, you watch a lot of porn and sometimes you just got to, you got to, you got to go into neighborhoods that you don't normally go into and then you hear it's a bad neighborhood and you're like, it's a very dangerous neighborhood. Then you walk around, you say, it's actually not that bad. Right. That's what happens. You go into certain categories and you go, this category is not as bad as I thought. No. Hey, nobody's watching me. Let me just pull one out to something a little different tonight. Something a little different. Now, after I came by your house on Friday night, did you go, did you hit the basement and watch a little tennis? And when I mean watch a little tennis. Please cackle that. Oh, okay. We can't. We're out of the Patriot. Oh yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. Throw that on the Patriot. Yeah. Yeah. I always climb down into the basement and just get my peace down there. I mean, cuz, when you brought me down into your basement on Friday night and, and, and you said, you know, you were like, oh, come sit on the couch. I really didn't want to. Cause I just know what happened. What happened on that couch. I really was just, I was really proceeding with caution because I know that couch has got some residue on it. Yeah. You know, I know if I hit the blue on that couch, it's going to look real bad. Yes. Yeah. That there's a, there's a spot there. That's actually what that spot is for. Yep. Yeah. That's what that spot is for. So ultimately the diplomats from Cush met Augustus and secured a peace treaty that was very favorable towards Cush and Rome withdrew its frontier northward and tribute demands were eased. They moved and Cush remained fully independent. They're fully independent and they didn't crumble. They crumbled under their own weight. Right. Archaeologists and historians think that they over deforested. They were, they cut too many trees. They kind of just got out of balance and whack and they just kind of crumbled on their own. Nobody ever took them out. And you said that, and they kind of took themselves out. They kind of took themselves out. This is what happens. Eventually like inevitable. But that, by the way, that's every empire, like United States, eventually we're going to just take ourselves out. It takes yourself out. It takes themselves out. And here's the interesting thing. At one point, uh, in the late kingdom, I think they conquered Egypt. Actually, Egypt had a Cush ruler for a little while. Really? Yeah. I think for about a hundred years. They took them over. They took, they had a piece of Egypt too. So, I mean, she had like. Cush was no joke, cuz. They had no joke. They had like 30,000 warriors and they were really skilled archers. So they could, they had, they had that, they had battle axes, they had fucking shields. But still, where did it come up? Where did the idea come up for you to want to do this as an episode? Because you've been big time. You've been into other stuff, but then all of a sudden you went into Africa. Well, I, I went down some road of Rome and, and this must've come up that this was like the only time that Rome just kind of walked away and said, we don't want no beef. And I was, and then I was like, whoa. And then I learned about Cush and the Cushite empire and like their pyramids, their architecture. And I was like, this is really not as known as it should be. Can you put, what did the Cushite empire look like? Like AI? Now I start to do this and it, all these recreations happen from like portraits and whatever, and they can do it. And it's like, it's amazing. Like you can like go back in time and like see what these places actually look like. I don't know if ChatGPT can do it. Can ChatGPT do it? Let's see. If you go on the gram, you could probably find it. Cause it'll take a while on ChatGPT. Oh yeah, there you go. Let's see. Well, that's, that's just a lot of sand. Okay. So that doesn't look great. It's still, there you go. That's the way it would look. Yeah. That, that, that right there. Right. That looks pretty fucking cool. That looks pretty good. And those are the ruins. No, but like there's AI videos where like you're walking through it. You ever seen those? Where you're like walking through all. Yeah, you gotta go to the gram for those. Let's see if we can pull one up on the gram. That would be cool to see. Yeah. I'd like to see that. I've been doing, that's, that's been a lot of my feed is going on those, those AI, those AI visits, those AI sites of like people in history, what they look like with movement. Yeah. You know, like that's really, really, really cool. So we're, we're coming into a time where in the next 20 years, like you're just going to, you won't have to envision what the past look like anymore. They'll just bring it to life. They could bring it to life. Here's an interesting history I hear in the fact that they, Sudan has more pyramids than any country in the world. Really? Because of the Kush empire. Look at that. Look at all those fucking pyramids, cuz. Yeah. See, I didn't know. Yeah. Send it to Jesse and we'll throw it up there. I mean, there's a lot of ruins. Yeah. I mean, and it's, it's interesting to know that, you know, it, maybe it's a point of pride for black people that they had a great empire. They had a great civilization. Yeah. You know, and I don't think it was the only one, but I mean, that's, that's just kind of how they looked. Yes. I mean, that guy looks like he could be on the Knicks now. I mean, a hundred percent. I mean, 100%. I mean, yeah, dude. I mean, these, wow, that's crazy. The Sumerian, Sumerian, the Sumerian king was 241,000 years ago. Here you go. Here's AI. Yeah. Send that, send that to Jesse. We'll throw it up. Yeah. Cause I, I, if you guys ever at home, like really want to consume history. I mean, dude, you just go in here and you see like what these algorithms do. It's really, it's, it's amazing. And you realize too, like in this grand scheme of things, like if all of history laid out, like this isn't really that long ago, it seems unfathomably long ago, but it's really not. It's like a second ago. You think ancient Greece and Rome were the main civilizations of that time? Yeah, I do. There was an empire even bigger that you barely hear about. It's Persia, even though it existed at the same time. Well, why are you talking about Persia? When I Googled Kush. Yeah, you want to do Kush. Before the pyramids had names, before the Egyptians had pharaohs, there was a civilization older and more powerful than history. I really want an African wife. That's what I'm looking for. So Christian, you know. Look at how she looks. She looks fucking hot. I mean, these women are gorgeous. Yeah, she would catch it. Big time. And African women like white guys. They like them. That's AI. That can't be real. That's AI. I mean, if a woman looked like that, I would be a p-yoing, p-yoing, p-yoing, p-yoing, p-yoing. Yeah, and that is real. That is not AI. No, that's real. That's real. I mean, because it's very funny to see you blown out with the Marisa wig on. Yeah. A lot of people think that the Egyptians actually got a lot of their aura from Sudan. You look at the sculpture from Kush, and then you look at Egypt. Like, maybe Egypt kind of influenced Egypt. So Sudan had pyramids before Egypt, in other words. That's what they think. I mean, that's very possible. That's very interesting. Yeah. I mean, they do say Africa's the cradle of life, right? I mean, Africa's where it all started. That's what they say, baby girl. I mean, yeah, I do want to go to Africa. That's elaborate, dude. That is elaborate. The problem is you can't just go to Africa. You can't just get on a flight and go to Africa tomorrow. You have to get certain vaccines. Vaccines and stuff, right? So this is how it would look. Look at that. I just want to go. It's pretty cool. I mean, that's beautiful. because you want to make the basement look like that yeah i'd love that no no no so it's wrong most kush pyramids were built over a thousand years after the great egypt so the kush okay so the egyptians are number one with that they think they came with yeah the kushites were heavily influenced by egypt and adopted i mean because it'd just be nice to ride a fucking elephant too yeah but i think if we had godfrey in here he would tell us that the egyptians were black and they cut their noses off so he wouldn't know it yeah it's just what it is godfrey yeah yeah because i think to the black community they say nigeria is the is the number one country right and that's where he well godfrey says that that's where he's from that's where he says yeah and then he calls he calls the other countries the n-word yeah it's just what this episode is brought to you by chat gpt hey it's bill simmons from the bill simmons podcast have you guys heard about chat gpt work it's the new way to use chat gpt for bigger multi-step projects and when you need more than just answers give chat gpt work access to your apps and files and it can create really good content for you real work documents like spreadsheets slides and structured reports get started at chat gpt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro plans hank joined bj's wholesale club the day he became a father of 30 i coach football now coach hank saves up to 25 off grocery store prices 30 pounds of pasta three cases of protein bars 75 sports drinks and that's just pre-game he knows teamwork and bj's knows savings this is your home coach home of the save join for just twenty dollars at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save i think i think there's people who believe that the egyptians are actually black right and that they cut the noses off so people wouldn't know it is that a real fact it's a real fact interesting well it's a fact you know it's a fact that people it's a conspiracy yeah it's a conspiracy right yeah right yeah i mean cuz yeah look at those old school that's the thing too like we see the pyramids now but like all the color faded away but like even ancient greece like when there was so colorful we just the color just faded you want to know what it was like to walk around big there i want to know what it was like to walk around colonial america i think you know that yeah i want to really really really just i want to be given a musket that guy looks like jesus yeah i mean would you would you if you had to pick a day to spend a day to spend right where where would you spend it would you spend it in kush would you spend it in carthage would you spend it in rome would you spend it in the middle east hang out with the disciples would you go to russia hang out in saint with with uh any time period any time period would you go to road you go back to your viking people see what that was like would you go down to would you go to the british isles would you go would you british rome would you go to gaul would you go to china bang out a eunuch big big would you go to hang out with the aborigines would you go to the hang out with the central uh with the natives from central i see what nick's forefathers were doing what kind of corn dish they were whipping up i mean what would you do or would you just go back and just be a jew and find out and figure out why they were everywhere and what do they plot yeah i would probably do that first but i would i think i would go the battle of brooklyn because in 1776 i would go to bay ridge and i would watch the british coming onto the shores battle of brooklyn that's what i would do and i would watch them come onto the shores and i'd run away so even in your historical dream you don't want to leave brooklyn i do not want to leave brooklyn because i'd be in the battle of brooklyn right on the shores of bay ridge so of all that wild that is wild yeah because if it was me there's no doubt about it i'm going back to rome you'd like to go i'd like to be in rome at that time i want to know what's going on yeah i want to smell the fumes yeah you want to smell the fumes and my foot fucking hurts and this is getting worse there's a bump coming out of your foot it's just getting real bad now and it's painful because you're i gotta get an mri on wednesday yeah how am i supposed to be in a broadway show with feet like that because i mean that is it hurts you have another foot growing out of your foot why is there a bump there because i have insertional achilles tendinosis so where my achilles inserts into my heel bone that's where i have not tendinitis tendinosis which is more advanced tendinitis that's like the tendon is frayed and because of all this out of placeness and just you know gook that my bone now has started growing has started making calcium deposits on the back of my heel what does that mean can you tell me in layman's terms what's going on what's going on is my tendon at some point i probably tore my tendon achilles tendon but not bad enough where i lost strength or where it ripped but bad enough where it just caused me like little pain and little you know problems but i just pushed through it and now because of that i have a fucking foot growing out of my foot so you're going to have to so you are like rafa nadal just without all the uh grand slam wins yes that's not yes he had a bad foot you had a bad foot and and unfortunately it's just getting to the point now where like it's just painful almost every day you know how you know how my haircuts get you mad yeah can you put that thing away it's getting me angry get you pissed off yeah i mean it's just you have a you have my foot looks like a black and white cookie your foot looks like it should be in a disabled school it's bad right it should be it makes you a little angry it should be on a van going bowling yeah because the thing is too because what my footy woody is if they told me if i get a surgery i'd be out in a walking boot for four months and i'd be out a year couldn't do any physical activity so i can't do that but you may have to do it just it's if you at some point if it's inevitable that you have to do it you might as well do it now to get it out of the way you just deal with a little pain because life is you know as we get older it's not pain free nick you have pain right jesse you deal with pain every day we all as men yannis you deal with pain don't we deal with pain every day right what's your worst physical pain jesse that you deal with i need a new knee yeah so you deal with it every day yeah yeah i do i work at it though i think you should get that removed dude that does not look good that's not to be removed though you have to have reconstructive surgery with like because i was like can you shave it down whatever you say no we'd have to like your achilles tendon is inserted into that oh shit the only way to do that is we have to take out your achilles oh so you can get like the halliburton surgery that's what i'm saying he's like you have to either tear it which you don't want or we tear it for you which we don't want can it get worse um he said the only thing that you could do is it you could stop the progression but that's never going away that's a part of your foot now four months doesn't sound that bad if you can get back to normal you know if you get like a couple months i think it's worth it yeah you would do it yeah i would do it now before you get older and like you can't walk well that's the thing i can walk it just hurts like it just hurts dealing with pain every day is not good especially at your age older yeah right yeah what do you deal with every day pain wise i just deal with soreness from working out but i don't have any pain like you can squat down no knee pain no calf pain you don't have any pain in your bone but eventually i probably will you nick have any pain anywhere no just my lower back but i would say if i had a choice between either doing broadway or getting foot surgery i would probably choose broadway okay they're gonna say foot surgery no he's because that's his dream nick's gonna leave here a little extreme yeah because nick nick wanted to be on broadway and chris is gonna be on broadway yeah so it's just that's what that's what it'll get you so to answer your question the if you were interested the kush you know back then it's not just the kush did you know it was like more safe for them to drink um beer yeah i knew that that's where alcoholism i i knew that that was for most of human time because the kids would drink out because you were boiling it the water wasn't safe yeah so the just like the egyptians they brewed beer from grain yeah and beer was often safer to drink and they didn't drink it they didn't drink it they didn't drink it they didn't drink it they didn't drink it yeah and that's what they really drank it only we only went away from that when obviously the water filtration systems got better but when when we started drinking coffee when coffee got started getting imported to the west and the industrial revolution happened and we needed you couldn't really operate heavy machinery being drunk but you could operate it being hyper focused on coffee so coffee make absolutely no mistake coffee is a drug and that is the number one drug on the planet we're all addicted to caffeine yeah make zero mistake yeah that is a drug it's a drug that's a drug it alters your state of consciousness right true true true true true true true sober enthusiasts and sobriety people say you can't even have coffee yeah because it all it is a mood altering substance you are more hyper more alert you're not yourself when you're drinking coffee i'm not saying it's bad for you but it is let's call it what it is it's a mood altering substance yeah it is and if you can't handle coffee or whatever listen you just have a weaker constitution and there's nothing i could do there's nothing yeah you can't handle a couple cups of coffee a day i mean what do you want from me i mean a little nicotine a little coffee something's got to get you through something's got to get you through sometimes things a low dose as well yeah throw five milligrams or something in there just to mix up the stew and comp give yourself a little space what it is cuz yeah as i said on the patreon we're lexipros at night we're lexipros at night so um and to answer your question they had a very special relationship with cattle so um they uh one difference from egypt is that cattle seem to have an especially important cultural role archaeologists found royal tombs containing large numbers of cattle skull suggesting herds were symbols of wealth power and prestige yeah so you're like yo this guy's got instead of yo this guy's got the new iphone or i know this guy's got he's nice cattle got that nice guy all son he's got he's got his cow a nice yeah um so if you sat down for a typical cushite meal you might get some flatbread some beans or lentils some fish goat meat dates mugs uh that's pretty good grain beer yeah i don't i don't eat goat but i'll eat some dates and some fish yeah so and some flatbread they they had it all they had honey cuz should we go have some ethiopian food yo ethiopia European food, yeah. The only thing is don't bring a fork. That's offensive. That's the thing. You got to eat it with your hands. It's a good thing. So if you didn't know about kush, and then, so why do they call marijuana kush now? Do we know? Is it named after the empire? I don't know. That would be wild that Rome, you know, was named after, the Roman empire got a city and then kush, all it got is marijuana. Hindu kush. This is from Hindu, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Northern India. So there's not just one kush. It's not just one kush. It's what it is. Because cannabis, indica, you know, when you said you had seltzers this weekend, I thought you meant weed seltzers, but I found that they were Waterloo's. They were Waterloo's. Or no, actually they were- Trader Joe's. They were Trader Joe's seltzers. Trader Joe's seltzers. All right. So let us know what you liked. I always like to go pewing when we do episodes about black women. And of course, as always, at the end of every episode, we go to patreon.com slash history of hyenas, and we read out the newest members of the matriarchy. We have fun, fun, fun. We've been, some of these episodes we've been having to go. We've been going to a poll to see who, you know, to let the fans decide because their names have been so good. So we'll see what happens. And you will see your name up in lights if you're the winner. Okay. Starting off the list, Butt Pirate. Welcome to Patreon. Yeah, Pirate. You know, that's a known thing. Then we got Conservative $3 Suck and Tuck. Okay. Got it. Then we got Zesty Chrissy, a.k.a. the Carl Anthony Towns of Comedy. That's a good way to describe you. I like that. Then we got Squeaky Clean Peen, back on the beam because I'm a little Franks and Beans now, I mean. That's, that is a Drexler just because he let that rhyme with all our jargon in one sentence. Drexler. Then we got Chrissy D's Queef Queen, Alex Marmalejo, Miwani Samyani but no tzatziki in my cheekies. Kay. Kay. Jonathan Hatch, Kay Anderson, Seymour Buttes, Parker Dieters, June 20th National Go Find a Job Day. Wei Songxian. Kay. Kay. Kay. Kay. Kay. Kay. Kay. Jesus Christ. Then we got Nick's Hulkamania stuffy with a hole in the crotch. Put him on the list. That's what it is. Yeah, put him on the list. And that is true. Nick, yes. Then we got, then we got Cracked Jasleen while Akash Sings watched with his peen. Oh, it's a cock joke for Akash. Cock joke for Ashash. Don't disparage the fans. Squeezed a blackhead, no Derek Chauvin. Oh. Oh, God. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Walked into one, not okay. John and JP. Then we got, if there's something strange in your neighborhood, who are you going to call? The ghosts. The what? The ghosts. I don't get it. I don't get it either. Smithtown Water. Oh. Oh. What does that mean? The KKK. Yeah, yeah. It's not good. It's not good. Okay. Not okay. They do know how to slip them by us, though. Yeah, that was a good one, but not a good one. Yeah. Yeah. D-Von Gomes. Marco G. The cuzzy be wanting a crack at AOC. Okay. Cole Jameson. Yanni's way out is Zinn. Like, the way out is in. Yanni's way out is in. Zinn. Let's chicken figure that. Dr. Seaman's abortion clinic and pizzeria. No fetus can be. I don't know. We had something like that. Okay. It was better than that. The only way to win is with Zinn under my foreskin. Drexler. Close, though. Will Colavito. Tampa Tony touched a tamale toot and tapped out from the wall. My fabuloso wife. Way so she ain't. Little Adolph Al-Tucher. That's remember James Al-Tucher. Yeah. The best part of waking up is. Ladder 14. This is great. Can't do it. I did not see that rhyme coming. Yeah. I did not see that. It's a Folgers commercial. It's a Folgers commercial, but it's not okay. It's not okay. Okay. Cock tucked in two fuming marbles. Desert demon. Joseph Scholl. Not a Leroy, but I want a chicken finger. Really good. Really good. Okay. List it. Okay. Yeah, we got a light list so far. We got a light list. Borderline, but let's put them on the list. Then we got Help Me Yannis, My Papa's Touching. Okay. AJ Hills, Eric Siemens. My Puerto Rican Husband's Glue Gun Makes My Lips Squeak in Español. Sorry. My Puerto Rican Husband's Glue Gun Makes My Lips Speak in Español. Okay. Okay. It's a girl. Yeah, there you go. Epstein's Favorite Squeaky Chimney Sweeper. Yeah. Simon Rex's Very Nervous Meth Dealer. Right. Yeah. Right. He's a little fidgety. Then we got Tootphoria. Mm-hmm. Frozen, Come in My Ass, Then Walk Around Shitting Like a Queer. I guess it's a shitting like a deer one time. Ways and Sheen. You know, it's honoring that one. Wow. This is a light list. Sheemail, Who Wants Your Email, Yas. Sheemail, Who Wants Your Email. Can we just edit it for him? Yeah. Can we just take the Yas out? Okay. Yeah. Put them on the list. Okay. Yeah. Sheemail, Who Wants Your Email is funny. Okay. You know, we got to do something. He does things. Can't use it, right? Yeah. Bring Back the Mussie. Bring Back the Muzzy. Okay. Leroy and Frisbee, Walk It to a Bar, Cackle Cackle. Gluey CK. We've had. Yeah. Momoa's Spam Cannon. Momoa. Jason Momoa. I guess. Derek the Honduran, Jew in the Pastry Industry or in Israeli and Bread. Okay. On the Epstein Island Boy. Pulled Over to Google. Diplo's Dick. Very funny. Very funny. I'm going to put it on the list. Okay. Yeah. It's very interesting. Yeah. It's funny. Rim Jobs and Rebounds. Wishing Elon Omar would remove my banana hammock and gargle my rice pudding. Okay. Rye Goldsmith. By the way, I think she's a little bit of a piece. She is a little bit of a piece, Elon Omar. Fuzzy Muzzy Left Hand Fumes. Zom G Coffee. French Tiptoes Make My Piece Go Pyoing. Tasted the fuzz on my first cuz. Way Song She Ain. Gross. It rhymed, though. Mark Haynes. Emmanuel Jackson. Call Me Mary Poppins of SF, The Way I'm Cleaning Chimneys. Abdur Rahman Ashad. Wow. Muzzy Cuzzy. Welcome. Welcome. Daniel Serra. Bug Chaser Buffet. Jarlath Gavin. Amy Stifler. Chrissy D's Lost More Pilots Than the Japanese. That's a good one. Okay. Way Song She Ain. All right. J.F.K.'s Noggin is Missing. I'll Be Right Back on Prairie Dogging. I don't get that. Keep One Figurine Along to Scratch My Balls in Schlong. Okay. It's a Drexler. Scott Peterson's Bay Area Boat Tours. Oh, boy. Jesus. Ladder 14. Irish FF Moving the Vegetables for Therapy. Ladder 14. That's kind of what they do. It's what it is. Yeah. The Playground Joe List Got Herpes At. That's what happened. Yeah. Yeah. Witch Hazel Bidet CO. Mug and Muzzy Fume Since 1982. Mike Anyonga. And then Prison Python and My Poop Shoot Made Me Birth Leroy Nuggets. That's Way Song She Ain. Yeah. Last one goes on the list. Okay. So, light list. Yeah. But, nevertheless, might be, I think there's a clear-cut winner, but we'll see. So, we got Not a Leroy, But I Want a Chicken Finger. She Mail Who Wants Your Email. Pulled Over to Google Diplo's Dick. Prison Python and My Poop Shoot Made Me Birth Leroy Nuggets. And Nick's Hulkamania Stuffy with a Hole in the Crotch. Okay. So, there's some decent ones. Okay. Let's start from the top. We're going to Drexler it. Okay. We're going to keep it around. Okay. I like the edit. We're going to Chicken Finger it. All right. I mean, we're going to Drexler it. Okay. That's still a good one. Good one. All right. Nick's Hulkamania Stuffy with a Hole in the Crotch. Yeah. Okay. So, we got three. We got She Mail Who Wants Your Email, Nick's Hulkamania Stuffy with a Hole in the Crotch, Chrissy D's Lost More Pilots Than the Japanese. Okay. I like Nick's. Yeah. It's a little wordy, though. Okay. But you like it. I like it because it's accurate. That's what I like about that one. You like that one. I like that. I think that. I think Nick most likely has that. Right. She Mail Who Wants Your Email is funny, though. She Mail Who Wants Your Email is funny, but we edited it so it kind of feels like it can't win because we gave it a push. Right. Would it be fair? Yeah. Because really, it's just She Mail Who Wants Your Email. We're going to chicken finger that. Okay. Yeah. Huh? It is Pride Month. It is Pride Month. Well, that's why I also like the Hulkamania Stuffy with a Hole in the Crotch because you're having sex with a male doll. Yeah. But You've Lost More Pilots Than the Japanese is also funny. It's also very funny. Yeah. Jesse? I like Nick. I like Nick's Stuffy. Let's go with Nick's Stuffy today. I think that's the winner. Let's go with Nick's Stuffy. Unfortunately, today, I think that's the winner. So congratulations. Go to Nick's Hulkamania Stuffy with a Hole in the Crotch. Go to HistoryHainasIsBack.com. See your name up in lights. You are the winner, my friend. Okay? Patreon.com slash HistoryHainas for all the bonus episodes, for all these episodes ad free. And we have really just a lot of fun. I'm going to the Knicks game. to be exciting. Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college that's why she shops at bj's wholesale club saving up to 25 off grocery store prices beef jerky microwave meals laundry pods even they can't screw up have you met my kids and with bj's gas she gets there for less they call me the road warrior this is your home road warrior mom home of the save join for just 20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save