The Keke Palmer Episode

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Reggie Palmer ♪ ♪ Kiki, she's Palmer ♪ ♪ She's not Jeffrey Dahmer ♪ Why give that guy any more limelight? Can we plan a Las Vegas trip? What? Can we plan a Las Vegas trip soon? I would love to go to Las Vegas. I love Las Vegas. I think that would be fun. When you look up the lineup, the amount of entertainment that is constantly shuffling through Las Vegas is truly something I admire. Spit it out. Charli XCX. Love her. MGM Grand. Exciting. Worked with Charli XCX when she was like 13, 14. Really? Her first trip to New York. Let's go. I think she's probably a great live performer. I love her. She's incredible. Let's go check out Weezer at the T-Mobile Arena. I love Weezer. Sweater. Yeah. We're just actually scratching the tip of the iceberg. How about Doja Cat at the T-Mobile Arena? Would love to. Great dancer. We should do it. Doja. How about Cat's Eye at MGM Grand? I love Cat's Eye. Maybe we go to Vegas and I'll hook you up with a little VIP and let you meet him. That would be cool. Do we have access? I don't know. You guys, it's not just that. They're sports. How about we go see Duke Yukon at the T-Mobile Arena? Can I tell you a little something about Duke? Chuck. Chuck. Does the name Khalid El-Amin. Oh, no, that wasn't Duke. That was Yukon. That's Yukon. You got everything confused, but Duke is playing Yukon. Yeah, that's what I meant. Does the name Khalid El-Amin mean anything to you? It does. Hey, does the name Steve Aoki mean anything to you? Now, let me tell you guys. He's going to be at the Cosmo. First of all, Steve, amazing man. Great accuracy. Can throw a cake from about 100 feet away and hit you in the face. Kristen. Yes? How would you feel about going to Resorts World with me to see Lil Wayne? I would love to. Why just Kristen? Why not? I don't get to be involved? Well, me either. What were you saying? Me either. You want to go? Yeah. Will you text him? What are you typing? Will you text him? Text him. I do have a text relationship. Isn't it so cool? Could the 10-year-old you think that you would ever be on text with Lil Wayne? No, and the nature of the texts are about movies, and the way we're texting, it feels like high school. Slice of life. It's like friends in high school being like, "You got to check this movie out." Yeah. We're coming to Vegas. Come on. But what happens in Vegas? Steve. Hello. Oh. Hello. Oh. Whoa. No, no. Okay. No, no. That's crazy. I just felt we were close like that. Look at you. Okay. Love it. You better go. Are your DMs like. No, no, no. Baby. I love eggs. Come on. You almost fell off your chair. That's a lie. So, but like in the. Right? You guys are crazy. No. No. Kiki, you know what I just did? What? I made you a tea. You're kidding. But it was microwaved water. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. I'm happy with that. It takes me back to the beginning days. Yeah. Love this. It's still hot. It's all the same. Little microwave moment. I don't think there's any danger. Is Kiki your full name? My name is Lauren, actually. Oh. Lauren? Feel free to call me it. Lauren. Wait. Lauren. No, you're more of a Kiki. My name is Lauren Palmer. Do you have friends that call you Lauren? You want to be Lauren? I love it. But I like Kiki, too. I mean, come on. Kiki's amazing. I love Kiki. Why are you Kiki? So, when my sister was little, she just had an imaginary friend named Kiki. And she was like, "Can the baby be named Kiki?" And my parents were like, "No, but we can name her, like, Lauren Kiana Palmer, and we can call her Kiki." Oh. So it's like my sister wanted a nickname for me. That is so adorable. So your sister held that much power in the family dynamic? Still to this day, by the way. Really? Yes. She really is kind of like the godfather. Oh my gosh. Of the kids, at least. Were you friends? No, I was Lauren always. Interesting. Oh, wow. When did you become Kiki? I became Kiki, so, when I was, when I first came to California, and I had, like, my agent and everything like that, he was, like, having a meeting with my mom, and I was, I guess, I don't know, I was probably being bad, like, in the corner or whatever, and my mom was like, "Kiki. Kiki." And he was like, "What are you calling her? What are you calling her?" And she was like, "Oh, that's her nickname. We call her Kiki." He said, "No, no, no. That's it. Kiki Palmer." His name was Richard Berman. And he was like, "She don't need to go by Lauren." Wow. I like, I understand. I see it. I just felt, I felt, too. Yeah, she's amazing at that. It felt like a movie. It's, it's her delivery. She's very charismatic. You guys are crazy. It really felt like a movie. Wow. You guys are crazy. Wow. Lauren, I'm gonna call her. I have to reposition myself. I really love these shoes, man. You like 'em? Wow. They are cool. I thought you didn't like 'em. I did like them. How come you don't like them? I just don't like sparkles. We're just, they're a statement. Why don't you like sparkle? I do like sparkle. It's too much. It's too showy. I mean, I like diamonds. I know that's right. I like diamonds, but I like, don't, you know those diamonds? I don't care about them. No, these are not diamonds. I don't know why. I mean, diamonds, I just don't see, I do like your diamonds, and I like the- You like to keep it casual. Yeah. He does. He even made a song called "Keeping It Casual." You don't like to ever- Never, never, never cannot. "Keeping It Casual." That's a new idea. Is it true? I actually love that. I do keep it casual. Is that a song though? I fuck with that. It's about keeping it casual. I didn't execute it well enough. "Keeping It Casual." He's got a few other good titles. I have to remember- I think it's so funny. Good guy, "Keeping It Casual." This is the only jewelry I've ever worn is a rubber band around my wrist, and now this- Yeah, yeah. Now I have a wedding ring. Yeah, you didn't want to wear it. No, but now I feel like I'm wearing jewelry, like a wrapper, like I- Okay, come on. I swear. Yeah, you like it. You take this a lot. I have a wedding ring. I do this a lot. It's a tWitch. She has a wedding ring too. I do. But I don't wear it. Not yet. What's going on there? Wait, have you ever been married? Yeah. Never been married. Okay. I'm a virgin. Oh. I was like- Virgin with a kid. That's cool. It was you guys trying to be like, "Oh." Well, I was like, "Oh, so we're lying on this podcast. This is cool." No, I don't know. This is cool. Let's just start lying. No, she has a kid. She's not a virgin? Oh, yeah, you have a child. Maybe you didn't have a kid. No, I mean, I'm not married. I've never been married before. What? Are you dating? You want a husband? I'm open. I'm open. I'm open. Yeah. I'm open to husband. I'm open to dating. Yeah. What's your type? Tell us about your type. Honestly, it can go here and there. Yeah. Switch positions with me. I want to sit down. It can go. It can go from Adam Sandler to Michael B. Jordan. Oh, wow. Huh. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Cool. It could be Michael Ealy to Kevin Hart. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It could be. I'm open. You like personality. I love personality. Yeah. I need you to just be also not too cool with it. Interesting. Yes. Michael B. Jordan's cool, right? He keeps it casual. He keeps it casual. I would imagine he's probably an anime. He keeps it casual. He's a really nice man. Anime? He's into anime? I would imagine it. Yes. I wouldn't be surprised if that's like he does it on his time. Huh. I know nothing about anime. What if the man is so not attractive, but he's got a 15 personality? He can make it. What's the height doing? Oh, oh. How tall? Kevin Hart's like three feet tall. Right, but that personality is large. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. So, his personality is that crazy, but he's kind of like a little like. He's 2'7". He's 2'7". Oh, no. No. No. He's. I mean, if he got a real dope personality, I mean, if he's got me cackling, if he's got me feeling good. Yeah, laughing out of your underpants. If I'm in his arms and I'm feeling safe. Yeah. Oh, shit. He got it. Yeah. Personality number one. Man. Arm safe height second. He's got to have the arms. He has to have all his limbs? He has to have all. I mean, no, no. Wait a minute. You're trying to put me in a trap. No, no. I'm not. I'm not. Whatever he got, I'm fine with. Okay. Okay. Do you think that you would be interested in a guy who's like the opposite of you and who like is not necessarily being like that personality demonstrative and more of a balancing actor? Yes. I love that you brought that up because it doesn't need to be we both coming in like that, hot like that. I'm cool with. But, you know, you can still be quiet. Yeah. And a little bit reserved. Yeah. And have a big personality. Yeah. You may just not always show with everybody. I do think there has to be some balance there. Yeah. And when you said want somebody like me, I'm also thinking about they could be in the media. They could not. Yeah. But I need them to have it going on. Yeah. Yeah. You want drive. You have to have drive. I need that ambition. Yeah. Interesting. We're in our 30s. Yeah. We got to figure. We have had to figure something. Yeah. We have to figure something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think he was like any I mean he's like the guy you know the main I love Adam's carry - right Oh Love him as well and carry like it would be a chaotic ride But I would get on it wait have you guys seen the one video of 50 cent with Jim Carrey when they're at a club together Yeah, and they're yeah, and he's singing and and 50 cent can't control himself cuz Jim Carrey's so funny Yeah, he's like the way he's dancing is unbelievable his head That's fun. I like when I would make fun with I said, I think I'd prefer to date Adam over right Yeah, I like but I've never met but I feel like it's a great personality. Who's that Jack Black? Oh, he's amazing His personality love love very much marriage material very much marriage. Oh, yeah. He always knew he was he always knew his voice Yeah, okay about his business. So you want someone funny? You want someone funny who knows who they are. and they're not afraid of me let's get into the real shit do you find that it's tough that there's like competition not competition exactly but an element of how do I find my place beside her but I'm not even doing anything I'm just being myself but who you are is just like a very and I be going up and down with the dolls but it's like at low it's too much now do you like flirt yeah no do you have like you must be like are your DM's like no no no really? no Brad Pitts tried to go out on a date with you for sure nobody is saying nothing I don't know maybe I'm giving like umpt you know I'm like so the reason why I brought up flirting is because when you said when you said what you said it made me thank you so much when you said what you said it made me think about flirting like I knew where you were going because this is how I'm flirting tell me if you feel like that this is flirting yeah look at you okay yeah love it yeah you better go I think that's great it kind of looks like you're talking to a kid or something no wait I like that wait that was your flirt? yeah I like that flirt so guys you're being fun I cannot do this look at you yeah yeah no you don't have to say look at you no I can't do that either all you have to do is just walk in a room you're like so dynamic and beautiful and smart as soon as I start talking they get in this friend zone shit I think as soon as I start talking because I'm just trying to be uplifting yeah you're trying to have fun you're trying to have fun I'm too churchy maybe I'm a little like yes no no no no you're great I remember reading that like guys did want you to like say less and like smile they do that and I tried it with him I remember one time I was like I'm gonna talk less and so what you just said is boom that's what it is it ain't a match that's what it is when you find your match it's never too much no exactly it's never too much I can't get enough my wife loves all my stupid you know how dumb I am she just like sits there and listens to every stupid thing I say that's what real love is and she laughs at stories she's heard a hundred times I don't know how she does it I need a jazzy archetype oh yeah I want every like I like like there she's like the best type of girl for him to and like you just want someone so I don't know I just want to have fun yes it's hard life is too short let's talk about the domino from domino's this is yours all yours no don't you want a slice no this one's mine we have our own yup you have pineapple I can't wait I love pineapple and I got roni what's roni roni I mean this is the domino from domino's you could not have your own pizza in a better way you wanna know why please everyone can do their own thing without wasting you know you get the perfect amount this is great for picky eaters like you because I don't have to share with you this is the best thing I've ever tasted the thick and usually I'm not a thick man the thickness because it's got the caramelization around the side and it's like crispy the sauce is sweet I'm dipping in some marinara right now this is a new format and I think they did incredibly with the new format not everyone's gonna walk into a Detroit style format and just like dominate except domino's domino's you can get your own domino at domino's we gotta talk to you guys about ollie pop because they have a caramel apple flavor mmm yeah wow it's good wow packed with flavor truly packed very interesting I'll be honest when I saw these cans I was a little scared because I don't tend to love caramel this might be the best one they've made I'm in love with this drink I kind of forgot we were even I was just I don't like caramel corn I'll just keep chugging it over here not only does it taste better than every soda it's actually got 9 grams of fiber so it's healthier mm-hmm what are you doing like if you're not doing this you're living wrong buy any two cans of ollie pop in store and they'll pay you back for one any flavor any retailer go to drinkolliepop.com slash fks I can't believe you're not approached by so many men yeah honestly it does sound like I'm making a joke yeah I'm not actually making a joke I don't think that maybe people think I'm dating already or I don't really get yeah but are you I feel like are you out in public like you know unless you're online dating do you go out in public hold on unless you're actually no I'm kidding you know you have two options you can either online date I tried it I liked it what are you doing I didn't get anybody Raya yeah you just end up seeing a bunch of colleagues not one good date you didn't get any man we gotta get people were saying stuff people was reaching out but it also is kind of like you know I'm not gonna say that there was no connections but then you know on Raya it's like are you in the same city a lot of the people were like in Europe and we're in the same town you're attracting those European men I understand I understand it's a different class it's like my thing is when I go out tell me like what y'all think like where is the scene is there a scene and is there a nightlife for all these numbskinks to go out and find somebody yeah there's a few places that I know Big Bear ski resort there's a DJ there's a few a lot of people walking around people are skiing I'm mad at the resort moment actually there's a few I feel like you just your social life is only gonna be as good as like your friends that you know and so I think we gotta do you're finding your husband at one of our like amazing like supper club gatherings where we have people come over and we cook come on you almost fell off your chair you're finding yourself a nice five foot six man I do think guys I do want that energy even though all the people that I named are different backgrounds like races and stuff or ethnicities or nationalities whatever is correct terminology yeah you know different colors it's a vibe that's across the board are you guys picking up the vibe across the board I'm sorry to take you out authentic men authentic no yeah who are really confident in who they are and they just are who they are yeah is that the common theme or not even was that what you were thinking and I think that humor I mean I think that would sound generic so I was trying to find something specific they also gotta be okay with the kids they gotta be more than ready yep and they gotta be okay for my son now what if do you care if they have kids or no I don't mind I don't mind what's the thing with you and the lady though I need to know what happened with you and the lady yeah I don't want to be I don't want to disrespect the lady with the kid I want her to you know before I meet your kid I gotta be you know what I mean do you want to have more kids with this person if it's the right person guys are you ready for this yeah if it's the right person that I find my match especially biologically in the right amount of time yeah y'all might see me running around here with 10 kids yeah it could happen you want a big family I want a family yeah you want a basketball team that's what I want yeah I want a full basketball team I want a big family I want a big family yeah I mean it's cozy I want a full basketball team and I just want us to just girl you see running around outside and then me being like honey oh my gosh yeah who are you saying honey oh my gosh to her honey her man what was your flirt again honey take that I gotta know it was like look at you okay shoes come on jacket yeah I like that that's like okay wait I did something last night that I think you guys would be impressed with you're probably gonna be like why did the guy do this yeah so don't judge him for this because everybody was drinking it was a vibe he was sweet about it anyway so he comes behind me I do know this guy yeah man I do know this guy handsome guy cool guy he like bites the back of me and he's like he's like he's like and I'm like I mean I was like very jarring but once I seen who it was I was like oh he's being funny trying to be playful you know and then he says something like he's like I'm sorry because I was like what you're messing up my hair and he was like he was like I'm sorry I'm crazy I be doing that kind of stuff in the bedroom and I said I'd like to see it okay that's cool that's cool that was cool what happened next then I he ran away he was like yeah pretty much I was like I didn't know that was on the table so I'm listening I'm open but do you think that he responded like unfavorably moving forward after that or do you think no no because then we danced on the dance floor you did you did just go like this he bites your head and you immediately like I'm doing a basketball term you immediately got the ball and you just went like that like you're just right you're no no no it was cool it was cool so now you yeah now you took the upper hand I thought I think it's a cool move that's what happened I did the upper hand you think he was weirded out no I think it was a great move you danced with him later yeah exactly tell me about the dancing I might have to sit down again for the dancing the dancing was giving winding the dancing was giving winding so we're on the floor and I seen him again this is after the whole event happened yeah so I'm like hey hey hey and I'm like okay and then he put like the dirty wine you know they do the dirty wine yeah yeah yeah and I'm like you know what I mean I'm like I'm trying to do I'm not doing too much because people around but I'm like hey yeah you know and he seemed to be rocking with it yeah yeah yeah did you exchange numbers are you going to hang out I know him and I think I have his phone number but he's got a lot going on it would have been a fun little key though I would have been down for a little kiss a little moment what's a key like a little gag like a little make out like a little are you dancing or back home those moments are the best parts of life you know just like in the last part in the moment I'm like oh my gosh I can't believe we did this call me I thought you guys were actually going to kiss no like in so but like in in the moment come on socks if he said let's get out of here yes are you leaving shit let's go yeah really and he has like a convertible and you guys he doesn't even have to that's who he is and he has it's the man what if he has a bicycle what if he has a bicycle and he said hey I know this is weird we're leaving the Oscars but like she would like it I would say this is unique hop on the back pegs it gives that living silver like what if he said I don't have a car let's walk that's he's a walker we in New York it's 20 miles yo when you see him next are you are you going to bite his head yes wait he's quite tall that would be oh he's tall jump on his back and then bite your head I don't know guys this guy is he's got life going on yes you know it was a cute little moment it was it was something to get my feet wet he was He was flirting with you. When was the last time something like that happened to you? It's been a very long time. Wow, this is. I think it's because I work so much, too. I'll be honest. I work a lot. I'm really focused. I spend a lot of time with my family, with my son. But that part of my life, guys, is not being activated enough. Like, come on. I need to be out and experience and embody. You better come to our supper club. You can even bring your kids. Oh, my God. There's so many kids there. I also know where I got to take them. There's not a lot of single people at this thing. No, no, no. But I would invite a few guys that I think are good. I love the curation. And so it's not so much pressure. Also, you know what she would love so much? What? Is the place where we had our birthday. She would lose her mind at it. What's the temp outside? Would you let me curate the next few months of your life? Dude, without a doubt. I can't wait for you to come to supper club. You like food? Look, man, I ain't no chef. I'm cooking. But I can do something. I cook a lot. What are you cooking? I mean, I could cook some good breakfast. I could do a little, you know, pancakes. Do you cook for your family? I cook for my family. I did one time. So my family, I like to take a lot of the classics that we did back in the day. Yeah, bougie a lot. And make them a little bit more gluten-free. Oh! Olipop time. Wow, this is crisp apple? Huh? Caramel apple? This is, uh, let's have a taste off. Let's see which apple one really scratches that itch. I love apple. Oh, my God, it's so crisp. Thank you, Olipop. Now, caramel apple. Am I saying that right? Caramel? Caramel? Sweeter. Different. Huh. Wow, I really love them both. They're just, they serve totally different needs. This is more of, like, sweet. Let's have dessert. This is more, let's have the backbone foundation of dinner. Thank you, Olipop. I'm going to get back to Kiki. Because I'm not a rude man. Thank you guys for being here. I love you. I love you, dog. Younger. It's like full house, but packed crib. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're never bored. Never bored. Like, there's always someone. I'm coming over. Oh, my gosh. Always someone to talk to. Girl. I'll have her drink wine. We have so much fun. We watch movies. We're a big horror movie family, so we love watching horror movies. Well, what's your favorite horror movie? Sixth Sense? My favorite horror movie. Oh, that's a good one. That's not a horror movie. I guess it is. It's a psychological thriller. Yeah. It's a very, very good movie. My favorite horror movie, it depends, right? We have, like, categories and vibes. Like, there is, like, obviously Nightmare on Elm Street. There's nobody better than Robert Englund. Like, Freddy Krueger. Like, come on. I love when he got into his era where everything was, bye, bitch. Got your nose, bitch. It's you, bitch. Like, that became his main tagline. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. He was so funny up in that movie. So I love that. It, the original. Oh, yeah. The original was so scary. Yeah, so scary. Oh, boo. Oh, boo. Oh, Billy, boo. Like, that shit was chilling. Yeah. He was so, it was, like, very theater. Yeah. In the horror. My favorite movie of last year was Weapons. Absolutely incredible. She scared me as, when she was on the foot of that bed. I was so happy she won. She won. I know. I was so happy, too. My favorite scary movie ever was The Blair Witch Project. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's so good. Oh, you didn't like it? Have you seen it? Yeah, it was just, like, a bunch of snot and stuff. It was like, oh, oh, oh, oh. It felt so real to me. I loved it, man. Wait, were you so excited? I guess I could see and understand it. It, especially at the time in which it came out, it was pretty, you know, incredible, like, the, what they had done. So, for those reasons, absolutely. When did you see it? Did you see it when it came out in the heat of the fervor, or did you see it, like, way later after? We was a lot, we was around when that came out. Oh, yeah. I was, I saw it in theaters. How old was you? I'm 30. I saw it, too. How old were you when that came out? We were young. I was young, like, 13. I remember I was with my dad, and I cried next to my dad. So, I was probably, like, seven or eight. How old are you? I'm 32. Oh, okay, yeah. I'm 38. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw it in, I saw it in the 80s. So, we saw it at, like, the beginning of when we could go to the theaters to see it. Yeah, you don't understand. It was, we snuck into the movie. That's a different kind of vibe. Yeah. Y'all ever seen this movie called The Frailty? No. Matthew McConaughey? Uh, no. No. Oh, very good horror movie. I like, I can't watch horror movies if I'm going to be home alone. Y'all remember The Faculty? Yeah, of course. First of all, Josh Hartnett. You never saw, yeah. Josh Hartnett. Solo handsome. That man, too. Yeah, he was attractive. Oh, my gosh. What about Tom Hardy? Hot. Cute. He's got one of those thick necks. He's serious, though. Yeah. He's got, like, a thick neck. He seems very serious. He seems like no game. What about Seth Rogen? He's married. Loves Seth Rogen. No, no, but that's, like, the man you would date. Absolute, absolute. I mean, come on. Yeah, okay. I played his wife once. Oh, really? Oh, really? We had a ball. Yeah. He got me so high. I was like, damn, Seth. That is absolutely insane. Are you putting your gum on the back of the wood? No. You can drop it. I'll throw it out. You can just drop it back. Thank you. I don't litter. Yeah. I don't litter. I got a question. Do you think we should replace this beam? No, it's giving character to the house. That's what I feel. I'm that person. Is there something wrong? Here's the issue. Unless it's rotting in bugs or something. I think it's rotting. I think it's rotting with bugs. I do think it gives character. I'm going to explain the current issue with this beam. Okay. This beam is rotten. It needs to be replaced. It's honestly a bit of a liability, especially for a workplace. You're kidding me. I don't even want to say that out loud, but it's true. Now, I too like the character. What I wish I could do, I like the character of the whole deck. It's aged. It's whatever. Yeah, that's right. What I want to do is replace the one beam, but then it won't really stand out. So if I replace this beam, I'm probably going to have to replace the entire deck. No, no, no. No, they can age that. By the way, you just did it. That's what we need. This storyline for the one changed beam. Yes. But how can it be so aged? That's what's going to give it character. It's going to stand out. Oh, okay. Owning a home is the most expensive thing. And they just keep going with the shit. Why? It ain't never mine. You ever thought about that? Why this house ain't never mine for real? Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know what it means. We got to keep paying for a lot of work. Oh, yeah. You know, like if we buy a purse, shit is mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why the hell y'all keep doing this to me like this? I know. Didn't it used to be you owned it? Like right off the bat? That's how I feel about taxes. It's like, look, I understand, I think, enough, you know, the reality of we got to give it back. You know, I'm down with that. Yeah, me too. But some stuff, man, can we, can I at least have my house a little bit? Yeah. Can you put a timer on it so I don't have to do it? You know, just help me out. It was supposed to help you out. I can't take the noise. Hold on, let me get my shirt. Let's move to the couch. I also felt like I was getting bit a little bit. I feel exhausted. I kind of want to be over there by the fire. Yeah, sit by the fire. That's comfortable. You weren't married when you had a child. No, so me and my son's dad, we were dated for about like a year and a half, maybe even a little bit less. It was like a little quick love story. Oh, wow, so baby right, right off the rip. Yeah. And I was very much so knowing that. I wanted a kid, you know what I mean? Like, I felt that he would also be a good dad, you know? Like, I felt like, I think for me, one of the big things with having kids has always been like, I think as a woman, it's like you got to want the kid, period, regardless of the situation with the guy. Because it's, you know, this is your baby. This is your responsibility. Yeah. And I was 28 turning 29, and I was like, now's the time where I would feel comfortable with this, and I would always go worst case scenario if we don't work out, how will I feel about this decision? And so I decided to have my kid, and we didn't work out. Were you rocked right away? Like, was motherhood instantly, does it rock you? It does. It really does rock you, but it rocks you into the best you that you could ever be. Like, seriously. But you do kind of go a little batshit. Yeah. You really do. How long is that moment of batshit? It's long. It's probably like a year. The husbands, the dads, you know, if you guys are together, it could be a lot, you know, for both of you. It kind of, you know why? Because you become new people. Those old yous are gone. Yeah. And you're never going to get them back. Well said. So not only are you getting to know this new baby, but you're also getting to know each other again. And honestly, as a mom, a lot of times you're kind of like, the baby comes, you know. Oh, of course, yeah. The baby is your main thought. And so the guys are like, well, I'm trying to reconnect to you. Also, I didn't have that, I didn't have the baby inside, so I don't have that immediately. Like, it's not the same experience. So I think it just takes a lot of time. It's really, you know, yeah, it's a thing. Wait, were you filming, like, when you were, like, having a baby? Like, were you, like, making stuff? I was. I did, like, SNL right when I was pregnant. And then after I had my baby, I did the Met Gala. I was just trying to. Honestly, I think about the time I think I was fighting for my life because I was trying to hold on to myself. Okay. That's the way I knew how. Like, I was trying to make sure that I didn't. Because you know what happens after you have a kid, too? What? It's very easy to be like, you know how hard it is to follow your dreams. It's hard already, right? The baby is also really, it's really comfortable to just be like. Well, it's all done. Because you feel satisfied? You feel so satisfied. And you feel like, you feel like, it ain't even like you feel like you have to choose. I think I felt so satisfied. But also, I knew that eventually this wouldn't make sense, like, for me. Because I do have things that I care about. And I do want, so I wanted to make sure that I allowed for my love and my satisfaction of being a mother to live alongside my dreams. And so, I was trying to, like, you know. I was trying to ride the bike, you know what I mean? But I already took the training wheels off. All my friends that have kids basically talk about this point of, like, losing their, you just, like, don't have any more time for yourself. And then you lose your sense of self. You do. But you held on to yours. But it seems like it's so much work. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. I think a lot of things, different things helped me. Like, obviously, my community, that helped me. You know, my mom is a big help. I have a lot of support around my son. You know, my sisters, like I said, and everything. And then, I really just started going into myself. I really think I did over the last two years. I really started to do more singular activities. I was focused more on, like, Pilates for the mind, body connection to kind of get myself back into my body. I changed the way I ate. I really just started hiking and doing more solo things. And I think I remembered. I remember the deeper me. Yeah. That wasn't even around before my son. Like, it was like a deeper me that I knew when I was a kid. Oh, yes. Yeah. It was like that. It was like, oh, this bitch. Forced you to, like, work to find yourself again. Yes. Finding yourself takes work. That's what I'm realizing. A lot of people try to take the high five out. And I'm like, it was like, no, it's not. It's the shit, man. Chuck, are you drinking, like, Molly water? What are you doing? Oh, no, I like high fives. What I'm doing. Hey, good. What are you doing? You're like, just go. What? All I'm doing is. I don't understand. I don't see you bringing water and stuff. I'll just explain what I'm doing. And I'm not meaning to show off in any way. I'm getting a new water cooler in my studio. And I have, like, different options of water that I can make the jug. I like Flex, but I see it. And you're tasting all of it. Is that why there's writing on the water bottles? Yeah. Dave, do not touch. Guys, it is going to get to the point where we can't eat or drink nothing. I know. That's why I just do. I either, like, grow. You make your own water. You distill your own salt water. I either grow my food or I get it from the pool. I don't do the farmer's market. Like, I don't even do the groceries. I used to work. I really do think that there should be more urban farming. Like, so I grew up. A neighborhood that I grew up is a food desert. So we didn't have, like. There's, like, actually not a grocery store within distance of, like, the neighborhood. So, like, you really wasn't really going to get a lot of fresh food unless you had a car and you could move around and et cetera. Make a long story short. When I was a kid, I worked with this place called Urban Farming. And they would actually build, like, farms and produce in the middle of areas like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that people could have produce. Because it's like, yeah, you know, growing your own stuff. It's. Like, if you could do it, it'd be great. But it's expensive, kind of, you know. I do something like that. So basically. Yeah, that's what I was hearing. I was like, that's dumb. Yeah, what we do is during the summers, we donate every week boxes to food deserts in, like, East L.A. and stuff. Because, like, we'll go to these places and, like, the only produce they have is, like, onions and, like, avocado. Nothing else. And I feel like it should be totally free. Like, I feel like fresh food. Like, if you want something maybe a little bit unique. Okay, cool. Maybe. You know what? That's, like, fresh stuff. Like, stuff that grows. Like, it shouldn't have to be so expensive. Everything I eat is processed. Yeah. Yeah, the body's breaking down. Really? What have you been getting? What's been happening? Once I turned 33, it all changed immediately. I played basketball. I basically, like, sat in an edit for, like, two months. Like, right on the couch like this. Got out of it. Played one game of basketball. You know how, like, you're sore the next day after you work out? I've been sore for four years since. But you didn't work out before. You didn't stretch or shit before. We got to start stretching at 30. We can still do it, but we got to start stretching. I stretch every day. Honey, I'm over it. He also, you just didn't work out. You got to start. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Every morning. What's that? That's a sit-up. That's a sit-up. No, no. This is a Pilates move. I thought Pilates was a machine. Yeah, let's do it. I do not allow you. Let's all do this. You can do it on the ground. You want to do it? Okay, here. Let's bring it. Get my workout in. Let's go over here. I love Pilates. Can we just sit here and do it? Can I grab a mat before we start? Curl your pelvis in. Wow. Exhale coming up. Has it begun? This mat is so. Well, yeah. I like that one. It does, yeah. You got to do it core engagement. Yeah, I do all sorts of ones. All right. You love yoga or Pilates? No, we do. My teacher does like. So, like, first I have like. We do like normal training like a bunch of times. Yeah, I love strength training too. But then I do. My guy's like kind of calisthenics mixed with Pilates, mixed with the separate guy. So, like, it's like stretching. But everything is like all like homemakers do. Like, everything is just to get your body warm enough to do the stretch. Like, we do like. Mm-hmm. This thing where it's like he'll be like this. He'll be like. Okay, so he'll go like this. He'll make you go like this and you have to go. So, you have to do a plank. Okay. Like a regular plank. And you have to go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. One, two. And you have to go through every single hand. That's a long time. So, it's like two minutes. It's so hard. Isn't that crazy? I just try this. I know. It's like little micro movements like that. Wait. But that's all you need, though. Yeah. It's so micro. And then he'll do things like where we go like. Where like we'll just do like small things. So, like you do a. It's different types of sit-ups. So, you don't do a sit. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. That reminds me of. I can't. I don't even have the. Oh, my gosh. What the hell? Oh, yeah. I hate. Yes. I hate those. I'm always worried I'm going to queef. The repertoire just left my mind. I hate. You're going to queef? I'm always worried I'm going to queef in those sit-ups. Whenever your ass is up. They do get scary. In Pilates, they make you do a lot of legs up. What is a queef? Oh, the hundreds. What's a queef? It's air. Yeah. I know it's air, but a queef, is it pushed out of a woman like a fart or the body can cause it? The body causes it. The body causes it and it happens in sex, too, sometimes. I mean, it's natural. It gets to the point we got to let each other live. I love living. You know, if the cooch farts, god damn, it works, you know? Sometimes it's a way to de-bloat yourself. You're not into the cooch fart? Yeah. It hasn't happened many times in my life where I've experienced it, but I think I would welcome it with open arms. It hasn't happened in many times? I can do it on command. I mean, I'm not going to, but you've heard it a lot. Oh, with you, yeah. I was going to say, why are you acting- You guys are so fucking funny. He's acting like he's never heard it. Tell her your problems and see if she can do it. That's your back. My back? First, I'm just, what is Pilates? Like, I thought Pilates was like on like a Rome machine or something. So, you do have, well, you have different apparatuses. You're talking about the reformer. What's that? Then there's a Cadillac. The reformer is the most popular one that people see in studios. Oh, we got a visitor. I don't know what that is. That's a reformer. But Pilates also can be easily done on a mat. You know, it started by Joseph Pilates. He's a guy- His name was Joseph Pilates? Joseph Pilates. It's actually named after him. I didn't know that. Yeah, and it's really, really- It's a nice last name for this thing. Pilates. It is. Like, it really works. Pilates. I feel that. I don't know if it's because we just know Pilates. It's the pluralism. I thought it was like a term. What about yoga isn't plural? It was his name. Pilates. It'll be like Blancos. Yogas. Or Blanca. Pilates. But like yoga, it works. But yoga almost feels plural, too, even though it's singular. Yeah. But who gives a shit, right? Pilates is all about alignment. It's a mental thing? No. No, no. Well, it is. It actually is a mental thing. It can be a great workout. You're not necessarily going to be sweating your ass off unless you're in a hot Pilates class. What do I do? I stretch every single morning. You should come to the machine. We should start on the floor. Okay. Okay, so first let's just like, you know, tilt your pelvis up and then back to neutral. Just to get it warmed up. This is my biggest weakness, this pelvis. Yeah. You have to engage it. This is like a small, tiny movement that helps you to engage it. Just to feel your pelvis go from tilting up to back. And you honestly want to think about that deep pelvic floor. Yeah, right. You know, almost like that queefing thing we're talking about. But like activating that. I could do it right now. I won't, but I could. It'd be so funny if I had the courage. Just do it. Do it. And then arms by your side. This is like some spinal articulation. It might be good for your back. So you're going to make sure that your heels are close. Close enough to your butt. Yeah. Enough distance, but enough for you to be able to hold them hip width apart. Uh-huh. Not that close. Okay. Perfect, good. And then you're just going to do that tilt. Yep. And roll up. Roll. Using the glutes and using the hamstrings. And then stay up. And then we're going to inhale to stay and then exhale to roll down. And you want to roll from the top of your thoracic spine down to your lumbar spine. I'm in school becoming an instructor. You are? Yes. Oh, my God. I was like, this is, you know, too much. Yeah, but when I lift up my pelvis, I feel a glitch in my system that I know is a big, you know, issue for me. So I feel like, am I pushing too much against the glitch, or is this how you get rid of the glitch? What's the glitch? What do you mean the glitch? Because you should not be feeling this in your lower back. No, it's because I'm fucked up right now. Then you have to flex more in your stomach. They've got to be working double shifts. Oof. No, it's your lower back. We've got to do more concentrated work. I need to do it. I'm going to do a little postural assessment on you. Oh, my God, please. Can you do it right now? Because I have terrible posture. It really takes some time. Let me tell you. Okay, I have awful posture, no question. Like, this is, like, naturally I'm like this, but it takes so much effort. For me to be like this, I can barely even. You need more, your scaps aren't, you're not using them to hold yourself up. I can't even breathe. I don't have the strength. And you probably aren't engaging your core, and you don't have enough, you know, you don't have enough mobility in your thoracic spine. That's the thing about Pilates that's really so amazing is that it's all about the spine. And we don't really think about the spine enough. We don't think about how the fact that it's, like, a big part of our body is being able to function. And a lot of times, it's not, it doesn't feel correct. We're hunched over. We have too much, it's too much curvature, sometimes not enough curvature. And this is what Pilates does. Every single movement, it helps to get enough of the curvature to make your spine still spring, but then still enough of it to not be, you know, going into the kisosis or lardosis. What's kisosis or lardosis? Of your, of your spine. Yeah, like when you see somebody, like. Like, lardosis is, like, when you're, or it's when your spine goes, like, weird. I thought that was scoliosis. No, no, scoliosis is a different, his scoliosis is like this. Remember when Mike Tyson, he was like, I broke my back. You ever seen the interview? Oh, my gosh. They said, Mike, you broke your. Did he break his back? He was, like, in the ring, he was like, I broke my back. And he was like, what did you break? And Mike Tyson was just like, spinal. That's not funny. It was funny. Spinal. Wait, every time I lay on carpet, I get. Bitchy girl. Yeah, I thought it was bites. Yeah, I thought it was bites out there, but I could be bitten. I'm a sweet bitch. Okay, do you want to know, do you want me to show you the inverted butterfly? It feels so good. Yes, I was waiting for it. So you just go like this. Okay, wait, wait, wait. So, like, you know regular butterfly, right? No. Like, butterfly, like this. What's butterfly? Okay, gotcha. So this is regular, and you, like, open your feet like you're reading a book. Okay. That's how you, that's when, like, you take these. A little supination. You take these and really pull it out, like, really pull them out. Got it. Like you're reading a book. So, like, it's when you go like this, and then you lean, and you take it to an eight. So, like, bring it wherever it feels like the eight to you. Like, so really get your body down. Oh, I'm really tense in my head. That's like a big thing I work on. So watch, you're going to feel it. Do you feel it? And you can push forward or back. It's different for each person. It's tough, man. Isn't that crazy? It's tough. It's a good stretch. So how you talk about your back, man, that's how I talk about my hips. Oh, your hips? I have to do so much. Yeah, my hips are fucked up, too. My hips are so tight, and I don't know what I'm holding in there. I know. I do these every morning. Like, I do the one where you go like this. Oh, I like this. Where you go like this every morning. And then I also do the one where you go like this, where you have to go, where you go, and you have to go like that every morning. You do this? Because I have to do it before my walks. A lot of times I do these. Yeah, oh, my God, those kill me. That feels so, you know what I mean? Yeah, they kill me. And then there's, like, that one where, like, you're on your back, and you move your legs back. This one is so hard, too, where you start like this, and then you have to get up with no hands, too. You go like this. You go like, so first you're supposed to do it in prayer, and you have to go like this and move it there, and then you move all the way. And you keep on having to do it. I can't do that. Yeah, it's the worst. And then you can start just like this, Chuck. If you just do this over and over again, it's your hip. That's going to get that shit going. The hips are, I have bad just right there. My flexors are messed. We've got to protect that because we don't want to get the replacement. It feels like if you live long enough, everyone gets their knees and their hips replaced. That's what I'm saying, man. You get prostate cancer. But I will tell you, this lady told me, this lady in my Pilates instructors, she had told me that the only thing she wished she did, it was get it sooner. Really? So sometimes we don't want to do those kinds of things, but actually sometimes they really support us. So if you need that hip replacement, go and get it. If you need that thing, because it actually is going to make your body better. It's a scary thing, but she told me, she said, I wish I had gotten it sooner. I just thought that was a good little tidbit. I wonder why. Is it because she felt like she would live too much time in pain? Exactly. She would be in pain. She didn't have mobility, and she was scared about the surgery, but as soon as she got it done, she was able to do everything she dreamed again. Can you guys tell me a little bit about this? The recent birthday trip you guys had in Malibu, where you stayed at a home on Airbnb? It was truly heaven. It was so much fun. We wanted to get away for my birthday and look at the ocean, but we wanted to pretend that we lived there, because I love Malibu. I felt like I lived there. I really connected with this home. We stayed there for three days. I don't even know that I want to. Yeah, we love the home so much, we're gatekeeping it. I remember thinking this literally as if it was a shower thaw. I was like, why don't we do this more? - Yes. - I literally was thinking, this is so. - What, book a home on Airbnb? - Yes. - Yeah. - And like, go away for the weekend. - I think you should. - We don't have to go anywhere far. I actually looked for this weekend. - Did you have a great birthday? - I had a great birthday. - Happy birthday. - Happy birthday. - Thanks, too. - Airbnb, honestly. Let's talk about CLR Brands Calcium Lime and Rust Remover. - Well, I was just going to ask you, Dave. - What? - Have you ever cleaned a bathroom? - Ever. - I've picked up after myself. - But you never cleaned one. - From the ground up? - Yeah. - Well, do you? - I think so. - Yes. - Well, let me get started. With CLR Brands Calcium Lime and Rust Remover, I can get on my hands and knees and scrub. And I'm ready, and I think she would like that. And it blasts calcium, dissolves lime, and zaps all that rust. - You're talking since faucets, tile, and grout? - Yeah. You know what? Next time I'm in the bathroom, I'm going to look around, and I'm going to see what areas I can spray. I'm not much of a cleaner. I do other things. - I do other things. - But now that you have. - But I can become. - I will become. Learn more at clrbrands.com/peptalk. You guys are into therapy, into things like that, like coaching, life coaching, things like this. I love self-help books. I mean, I read every one. I just read one about chatter. - Mm-hmm. - Now, what's that? - All about the chatter in your mind. Do you have negative chatter in your mind ever or positive chatter? - We all do. We're pretty exposed. - And it always comes. And when it comes, I say, "Girl, that was silly," and try to move on from it all. - So you're the observer of the thoughts. - I observe it a lot, yeah. And then you tell the thoughts to go away. So there's a role. There's roles. There's different roles. Yeah, and they say, like, we're all predisposed to have, you know, like. - Chatter. - Chatter. But--and you're more predisposed to have negative chatter, but the key is to be able to be, like, those aren't just thoughts that are coming. They're not actual, real things. And a lot of times, they're just what's being reflected out, right? Like, there's, like, we get a lot of ads, we get a lot of information, and sometimes your mind is--we think that it's us. I read an Eckhart Tolle book that really helped me. - Yeah, "Power Now"? - "The Power of Now." - Yeah, I love that book. - No, actually, I wrote "A New Earth." - Yeah, "A Whole New Earth." - Exactly. I read that one. - I did, too. - And that one, he said, "What a relief it is to know that the voice inside my head is not me." - Yeah. - And it shook me to the core for a minute. And then I was like, yeah, because the me is the person that's in-- that is consciously making the choice. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And the thoughts could never be me. - The observer. - Because--yes. 'Cause the thoughts could never be me because I didn't choose them. - Yeah. - You know? - Yeah. - It's really fun. - And there's--and they say that-- - But the thoughts are the hand that you're dealt. - No-- - They're the hand you're dealt, and then-- No, your brain is, like, pre-programmed to, like, find patterns, and it's, like, it's all unrelated. - So this leads to what I was gonna--what I was wanting to ask you guys. What do you think about getting cognitive profiles done? - What's that mean? - 'Cause this is what you're talking about with patterns. Like, so our cognition, the way that we are patterning things, the way that we are being recursive with our thoughts, how we take information-- - How do we get a profile done? - So it's like a neuro--we need, like, a neuroscientist. - A STEM? Do they actually put, like-- - No, it's like a test. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They do, like, they give us, like, a test assessment, and they'll help us to understand how we most learn and, like, what style of cognition we have. - Have you done this? - Yeah. - No, I want to, so this is what I was talking about. I was wondering if y'all ever did it. - No. I had a thing where a man put things on my brain, and he did, like, my brain waves and stuff. - Oh, really? - Yeah. - What is it called? - I don't remember. I went to do some test for something, something like woo-woo and cool. - Sure, sure, yeah. - And it was, like--and they, like, studied my brain waves, and then--oh, so many years ago. And then I went--this guy hooked all these things. - What did they say when they saw your brain waves? - Genius. - Genius. - Or, like, ADHD. - I honestly--no, they were like, "Is this thing still on?" No, I can't--I honestly--I can't exactly remember what it was, but I just remember I had a thing where he put, like, electrodes on my brain and stuff. Do you sleep well? - I sleep fine. I sleep fine. - What's fine? - Fine is lately not in bed soon enough. I want to be in--I want my bath at 8:00. I want in bed at 9:00. - Every night a bath? - I used to. I haven't been well now, and I'm not happy about it. - You miss the bath. - I miss the routine. I need that ritual. - Tell me about your bath. - Oh, honey. I got candles. - Yeah, okay. - I mean, it's giving, like, seance, but it's not a seance. - Yeah. - I got--you know what I mean? - Bubbles? - It's like, yeah, like, you know-- - Bubbles? - Baby girl, bubbles. - What type of bubbles? - I got some type of milk bath bomb up in there. - Yeah. - I've got a TV. - Colors? - We watching something. - Yeah, colors sometimes, depending on if I want to get into a little-- - Wine. - You know? Wine. One time I made myself a full-on charcuterie board. - Ooh. - Oh, wow. - Yes! - You have one of those? You have a tray one? Yeah, yeah, that goes over the--yeah. - See, this is the thing. I be spending all my time with myself, so I just try to make everything a treat for me. - And is your son sleeping at this point? - My son is sleeping. I put him in there. Now, sometimes he'll go down a little bit later, and then that pushes things back, but that's not the worst thing. Sometimes he'd take a bath with me, but I don't put all this stuff in there. - Do you put Epsom salt in your bed? - Oh, my--do I? - Yeah, yeah, me too. - Epsom--my name is Lauren Kiana-- - Mrs. Epsom. - --Epsom prom. - What's with Epsom salt? They say it de--it-- - It wraps the road, knocks the muscles, and they actually have some that have magnesium. You can have the magnesium. - Yeah, that's what I have in mine. - Sleepy time, right? - I know it gets you ready. - Doesn't magnesium make you sleep? - It do. - Yeah. - I mean, like, yeah, it helps you. - Yeah. - That's what I know. - My mother takes a bath every day. - It's nice. - With sex and water, it's drier. - And--and by the way, who wants to have sex where it's like this-- - Yeah. - --as opposed to--like, there's no rhythm. You can't catch a break in that motherfucker. - Sure. - It's like, I don't know why anybody makes that sound sexy. Also, the shower head, get ready to fucking get a cranium knocked out. - Yeah. - Like, it's like--it's dangerous. All that's dangerous. - I don't--I don't--I'm not--yeah, I'm not a fan of water-- - I want the bed, and that's it. - Yeah, I want to be, like, dry. - The fuck are we doing? - I want to be--I want to-- - Well, I do--the, like, hot water does get you going. - Hm? What? - Am I alone on this? - Tell us more, Kristen. - Like, I don't--I feel like it's-- - Yeah, like, the way the sauna gets me going, too. Like-- - Like, hot water gets you going. - Oh, my gosh. Sex in a sauna sounds like a hard attack. - We had sex. Sometimes I--'cause I actually-- - It was--it was--it truly--I was, like, fighting for my life. - That's so gross. - And he was like, "I love this," and I was like, "You love it?" - No, it's great. I like it a lot. - Touching--touching his head is, like, on fire. - I just think there's a certain level of warmth. - I'm sorry, your hair. - Like, I--you know, like, when--it's not late in the sauna. It's early in the sauna, and I'm just so warm where everything--every time we get in bed-- - We're gonna get sticky. - --and we start anything sexually, my hands are always cold. - What? - Yeah, yeah. - And it just, like-- - I understand. - And then you can't really get into it, whereas in the sauna, you can really just get moving and moving. - I run very hot. - Yo, you guys are so funny. - The sauna, though, if you touch, like, your hair or my hair, it burns. - It burns. - It burns. - It's like 200 degrees hotter than the air, and then you have to deal with the burn. - Lauren, I have to be completely honest with you. - Tell me. - Did you see that orange light? - Yeah. - That's because they're saying that we have to end it, because you have a hard out. - Oh. - And I don't mean--and I'm not even saying that negatively. Maybe I shouldn't have done this the way I've done it. - It's so dramatic. - But-- - How much longer was we going? - We're past the-- - We go forever. - I've ignored it. I've ignored it for a while. I was like, "Fuck this hard out." - Oh, has it been happening? - But that's really disrespectful. - Well, yeah, you-- - Are you feeling transformative after this one? Was this, like, one of those ones that you feel on your podcast? And you're not lying. You could tell the truth. - Mind, body, and soul, I feel enriched. - Okay. - I feel that we were--I feel that you guys were open with me. I feel that you guys were open. I felt we were, like, there was no pretense. I felt like we came in just saying, "Hey, this is me. This is who I am." - That's right. - And we got to show all sides of us. We got to share what was interesting to us, which was kind of vulnerable. It could be vulnerable to share. - Yeah. Queefing. - You know, we shared a lot of things. - Yeah. - Hot water makes me horny. - Yeah. - And I like having my hands warm when we start sexual. - When we start sexual. - Like, guys. It's like, this is a vibe. I really do love the chemistry of us all. - Wait, we have to do Supper Club. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - And you can get the rotating men. - Yeah. - Yeah, we'll get the men rotating. - Guys, this is the kind of life. - Kiki, Lauren, add some salt. - Group hug. - Give me, give me your floor number. - We love you, Lauren.