The JXDN Interview (EP 178)

I started doing so many drugs, started drinking so much, sex became an idol, called out to God, and I was like ruined my life. Dude, I got a second degree felony that day. If you wanted to watch this episode early, exclusive content, and more, check out our Patreon. Our Patreon is the best place for you guys to support us. Keep us producing the podcast, keep producing the Evangelism videos, sending us out on the street, and in return, you get exclusive content that will only be available on Patreon. So, if you want to support us, go to patreon.com/pricedcroftoday, join the Patreon, support the mission, get early access to podcast, videos, exclusive content, and more. What's going on guys? Welcome back to another episode of the Breastropper Podcast. I'm Breisen today. I have a very special guest, friend, incredible soul, I got chaed in Hossler with me. Is that everybody? Feeling good? Yeah, I'm feeling great, man. Fun fact, for everyone watching or listening right now, try to get Jayden on a couple of years ago. Yes. A couple of years ago, and now we get to sit down now, all that's timing. I'm glad we're getting to sit down now because we have a lot more to talk about. Me too. It's so funny how it works. I remember a few years ago, I was just like, "Are my friend Curtis?" He asked me to. He was like, "You need to get in contact with this dude." And I looked up what you were about, and I was like, "Oh heck, no." I was like, "No, he can't have me on the podcast, bro. He wouldn't be able to put it up." But now it works out. God's timing, bro. That's it. I'm so happy you're on here. Yeah, I really just want to focus on everything your life, your upbringing. I mean, I feel like when it comes to social media, it's very popular and a thing right now. It's growing more popular every day, doom scrolling, all the stuff. You've been on the internet for quite a while. Yes, bro. In that space. Sadly in OG now, which is crazy. What'd you say, you're an uncle. You're an uncle of social media. You kind of are. I'm getting old, my knees hurt, my spiritual knees, my social media needs. Yeah, I mean, hey, you know what it is, but you were one of the first people that was on social media, particularly TikTok. Now you do music, and you love Jesus. I want to rewind back to when you were young. Like, what were you from? What was it like being raised by your family? What was life like growing up? Tell us a little bit about that. Growing up was crazy. I always knew that I was going to do something. I had no idea that it was going to be TikTok and then music. Because I'm sure a lot of people that do TikTok, they're at one point, they're like, I would never do that. And then like a month later, they're doing it and they're dancing and the whole thing. But my dancing and the whole thing, that's funny. My parents were pastors. When I was born in 2001 in Great Pine, Texas, I grew up the majority of my life in Dallas, all throughout Dallas too. So my parents were pastors for about like 12 years my life solidified. And then my dad worked in the ministry after that. And without saying too much about him, there's just a lot of things that took us out of the church and then back in and then out of the church. And so we moved a lot, dude. I moved like 15 times before I was 14. Damn, in Dallas. And so grew up like weirdly with a poor mentality. I think that there was different things going on that we didn't have to live that way that we did. Like my dad made money. But we lived as if we were dirt poor. And so that put a specific strain, a specific consciousness. I was like really young. I'm about money and the stress of money. And also like in the South, you know, the Bible belt. And if everyone calls it, it's so funny how religion really overtakes more than like the Spirit of God. And so I was thrusted into that early age. And so a lot of knowledge, a lot of exposure to the Spirit and to the Word. Then after when I was about 14, 15, I moved to Chattanooga, Tennessee. My dad got a job out there. Went to a Baptist high school, which was like I grew up pretty charismatic. And then I went to this Baptist school that they didn't believe in the Holy Spirit. So it was a pretty crazy juxtaposition. And I was like the worst kid I ever met in my life. It was awesome combinations for disaster. It wasn't like an awful life growing up. A lot of bad memories, but a lot of like good memories. Like I love my mom to death. That's my best friend. She just had her 60th birthday. Let's go. Yeah, the 20th century. Happy birthday, Mrs. Fossler. Happy birthday, mom. She's so happy that I'm doing this. I told her last night. Oh, dude. That's awesome. Well, big, happy birthday to your mom. And she looks like she's like 45. So whatever she's doing, everybody else should tap in. Yeah, so I went to school and trying to get to see graduated there on my last year. I was dude, I was just such an idiot is literally the right word. I was just like, there were so many things that I could have done. I had a good heart, but I just like acted like a fool in high school, dude. I just wanted to be seen and loved. And so I say that because it all led up to my senior year by my own doing really. I was just so depressed for the first time. I was like incredibly depressed. I never really was anxious growing up. I remember feeling depressed for the first time and understanding what it was my senior year. What caused you to feel depressed? A lot of bad decisions. And then those bad decisions led to isolation, like I lost a lot of friends. Also, I do think that now looking back, I was set apart. You know, it's all a part of God's plan. He uses our mistakes for good. And that was like the beginning of that process. Because it led me to be, dude, I skipped like 90 days in my senior year. I know. Is that even legal? No. No, it was not, bro. But they did not want me to return. So they graduated me. I literally remember specifically I was failing. I was pretty good at school. I didn't really have to study much. I just like understood the process. But I was failing my English class. And I remember my English teacher, Ms. Poff, less her heart, bro. She really loved me. She really loved like the troublemakers, funny enough. And I was like the ringleader of the troublemakers. So she was very sweet to me. And I remember I was failing by like three points. And then one day she just came in and she like handed me in. And I was like passing. And so I got to graduate right when this was happening. The beginning of 2019. Well, you said Mrs. Poff was her name? Yeah, Mrs. Poff. Wait, hold on. I think that's Mrs. Poff's ago. But she's good. But really I think, man, I think what you said before you continue your story. This is so random. But isn't it nice when you have a teacher that believes in you? Oh my gosh, dude. It's like the greatest thing of all time. It's the greatest thing of all time. And I think people, it's so hard when you're a kid to understand what it actually takes to be a teacher. So you're like giving them the worst day of their life every day. And you think that they deserve it. But there are bad teachers. And I mean, even though it is a hard job, there's teachers that really don't think about how much it's impacting a child. And so, yeah, blessings to her. Also, my counselor at the school, like when I was having rough lunches, probably going her lunch. I mean, in her office in, like, cry. I was a, I was a, I was a, a cryer. I've been a cryer in my whole life. And so they were just like accepting of me. And I also remember the teachers that were not very nice, you know, that I won't name. But, well, then you always have those. There's always going to be those. But like, dude, the big thank you to all the teachers out there. Seriously, seriously, I'm right there with you. I can count and name drop all the ones. And I'm like, man, you guys are awesome. You believed in me. I feel like I had your support. And having such a good teacher is the greatest blessing. You don't really fully understand the impact of the blessing until you don't have them. Yeah, exactly 100%. Like, wow, you were one of a kind, one of a unique, caring patient. And teachers are also the most patient people on the planet. I like actually the most patient. You're absolutely right. You give them, give them a hard time, give them crap. And they, they take it on the chin every day. They're not getting paid what you think they're getting paid, bro. It's like everything that it takes to have a sound mind as an adult. They don't really get that benefit. And so if you have a good teacher, be aware of it right now. And go tell them you love them, bro. I promise you, also it'll shift y'all's relationship too in school. Like, I was, I was very impacted by them. And I, I hope they were impacted by me. They believed in me. And what I was going to do, they had no idea what I was going to do. So hopefully if they, um, like caught up with me after the fact and saw what I was doing, they were happy about it. So, yeah, shout out Ms. Poff. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out Ms. Poff. P-O-F-F. Yeah, P-O-F-F. Yeah, that's a dope name. It is. Shout out Ms. Poff. Shout out Mr. McCormick. Shout out Mr. Schafer. Shout out Mr. Hendrix. Yeah. I just said, we just start dropping it. Yeah. Yeah. Those are those are my favorite. Yeah. I love, I love you guys. Miss Cook. Big shout out to Miss Cook. Yeah. Miss Cook was the goat Miss Swanson. Let's come on. Let's do it. Everything. That's awesome. Anyways, you get, so Mrs. Poff and your counselor, they're helping you through this rough time. Yeah. So, and then, like I just mentioned to you a little bit before, uh, this kid named Curtis Newville at the time. Like I said, I was pretty enriched in ministry, all different forms and shapes and types. And my dad worked at this place called Preset Ministries, um, K. Arthur. Um, she passed on to be in heaven with Jesus. Um, I think just a couple of years ago. Um, but she was a lady of diligence and she was a phenomenal writer. Um, but it was basically, um, she would do Bible studies over the word. And like in depth Bible studies, there's a certain word for it that I'm forgetting. Um, but like the Greek and the Hebrew and the air may get a certain point. And so I was every summer, right? I was going and doing these. like two week camps at this location called pre-set ministries and people would sign up from all across the world and go my dad worked there So I I got to go and be a part of it and Curtis was my Bible counselor, bro And um, which Curtis also does social media. Yeah, he does. He which is so funny that you guys met there Well, this is the craziest thing so we met there and Um, I did not want to be there at all but looking back I'm so glad I did it gave me such a different perspective like if you're getting into reading the Bible But the Bible is layered and it's not supposed to be as surface level in shallow You're supposed to want to know what it means and you're supposed to want to know how it applies to you It's alive, you know, and so understanding The Greek and the Hebrew and the air make the original context is so Empowerful, you know gives you such a different lens of what it's really trying to say to you With context and so in the moment I hated that I didn't want context and I didn't want to scripture at all So it seemed annoying at the time um, but like God does with the invisible thread Curtis Was there and he was doing musically right a lot of people who know me think that I started on musically I did not musically was a thing like 2018 and then it got bought out in the beginning of 2019 I remember Curtis came to me and he was like, bro, you got to you got to hop on musically like he was hopping me up He was like bro, you're so cute. You got to do it. You know, I just he was like, yo He was he was just like be cute on the app, and I'm like no bro like I just shaved my I just shaved my head And I was like no one wants to see that and um But then he took he took me I was over at his place one time and he showed me he went live And he was showing me how much money he made online and I was like Okay, yeah, I'm gonna do this so and so I as soon as tiktok became a thing and my head. I was like yeah, I can do tiktok I'm not gonna do musically, but I'm gonna do tiktok and so I hopped on it and within like the first month or two It was just such a this was at the same time I was telling you I was depressed right and so Wasn't really hanging out with a bunch of friends in my school my school by the way had a hundred and 26 people maybe in the whole school like the whole high school Yeah, so I'd like 27 people in my class everyone knew each other yet everyone bro and So when I was on this app at the time I'm y'all cannot probably imagine this, but there was no hate bro There was not hate wasn't a thing on this app because if you were on the app You knew about and you wanted to be on it like you wanted to be weird, you know what I mean? and I was very happy with being weird and so I started doing it and It just started working, you know, and I felt this like affirmation that I had not felt before In this appreciation for like the weirdest videos ever bro like I can't even tell you how weird it was looking back But in the moment, I didn't feel that way at all and so It started this like hunger for more of that. I wanted more of that. Obviously. I was starting to make money Slowly at the beginning like by going live, but it was really just the acceptance that I so Willfully how how quick was How quick was like the explosion of of eyeballs on you. I can't imagine a combination of Being depressed and then going to social media for like the dopamine like like to numb it out But then not only the thing that you're going to to numb it out, but you're getting dopamine hits Yeah, and a buttload of people looking at you all at the same time. Yeah, that sounds like the craziest combination ever It was I remember the first I did it for like a week and I remember the first week. I got my first thousand views And it was like everything's relative, bro Even throughout your career the problem is we get to sensitize to that relative Relativeness right because like in the beginning that thousand views felt like 100,000 you know, I mean, I'd never seen a thousand people in front of me You know, so that number felt so big and It became this like addiction of like wow if I can do that then I can do the next I can do five thousand ten thousand or a thousand likes and It was just random stuff and so within like the first month or two and I also had Curtis who really gave me like a He was on the music for before so there was kind of like this everyone talks about the algorithm now It was much simpler back then and you could really figure it out and kind of play into it and so my whole goal was to get big enough to be a part of other things that were on the app Right and so people would go to like these this this convention called playlist live and Just this whole world that I had no idea about you know and it's so funny everyone knows about What it is now so they they can either judge it or not But in the moment it was like there was no judgment It was just like wow, I want to be a part of this and I want to get out of my city, so yeah I did within the first month or two I got like around I think 50,000 followers on the app, which was crazy And I was really working this system I ended up doing a few things like playlist live and this is the this is the crazy so I've never told this story before online All right, so this is this is wild and It's awesome to look back at a life and like be proud of every single moment that's happened honestly I'm genuinely I have no regrets in the sense of like what I change it because again God rob me here, but as you as you should yeah, because right like you said earlier he works everything together for the good He really wouldn't be really sitting here if you didn't experience everything absolutely So I ended up hearing about this chase Hudson, right little honey. It was Like the biggest on the app I think of the time and I actually really looked up to him because I was like painting my nails In high school and like I wanted to get earrings and and all this stuff and that was not allowed where I'm from like at all I actually remember very specifically I got my ears pierced from I went to LA for the first time with Curtis I got my ears pierced right before I graduated and I came back literally just to graduate the day of and I got my ears pierced the day before and you can't take your But you can't take them out especially when you first get them because they'll like close up so fast. Yeah And I was in line to graduate and the doors were open to the auditorium and my super intended my principal came Running over and started like screaming at me in front of everyone and like the entire auditorium All the parents all the grandparents started like we're like listening screaming at me to take out my earrings And I was like dude, I literally can't like I just got them done And he was like you have to or you're not graduating and I was probably was like it was so embarrassing at the time You know, and I was just like oh whatever so I had to take him out and like within the the graduation ceremony I got out and they closed up and my friends like had to put him in I was bleeding it felt much more dramatic in the moment But it was um that was like where it was I got almost got suspended for Painting my nails like in high school like it was very like the judgment was obvious You know, and I mean there was no understanding and obviously there's rules to school So I'm not saying to break rules even though I definitely did break so many rules at school But it was just the way it felt you know, and I mean it felt very If I'm very oppressed in the moment right that's like a new word everyone really likes to hold on to that's how it felt in high school Very different and so that was like all I needed to be like okay. I'm out of here. Yeah chase Hudson Was big on the app. I looked up to him, bro. I was just like this kid's doing whatever he wants He doesn't care what people say like that's cool, you know Um, and so I ended up finding out that he was on this tour Called lights out tour. I don't know if you've ever heard of magcon And the way this all ties in together is so crazy so bear with me. So I Have about 10,000 followers on Instagram 50,000 on on take talk and I remember finding this account The lights out tour and it was chase Hudson and Peyton Moore Meyer Peyton's such a good kid. He lives in North Carolina. I love him. He makes music too and I really wanted to go on the store. I was like what I want to be a part of this and so I told all of my fans Online to go to this page and Just spam them and tell them to put jaden on the tour. That's literally what I told him and for some reason all my fans listen they did And the account run by the manager hit me up and was like congratulations You got my attention, but I don't appreciate soliciting and I was like oh dude my bad and he was like What do you want? And I was like I want to go on the tour and you go sorry Tours full and I was like okay, and then like a couple days later he hit me back and was like what's your number? So I gave him my number he calls me. I remember it was a Wednesday and He was like can you come to LA tomorrow? And I was like well, I had like five hundred six hundred dollars in my bank account Because I worked at this place place called Fizzoli's fast food hotel. I know dude Yeah, we can't skip over that we can't Fizzoli. Yeah, bro bro in the flesh dog bro. I like I have a serious fin data towards Fizzoli's bro I actually have a serious fin today. Did you dirty bro? I just like yeah, I I have a serious bitterness towards Fizzoli's like if there's yeah, I'm so sorry you worked there No, it's okay. Honestly, it was like so funny because I really I've never really had to work with My hands a lot, you know, just in high school. I was I worked there I worked at like a bakery. I mode lawns and stuff But now as I've gone older I kind of crave it and I miss it So I'm glad I had that little part of my life just to know that I like can and would and I like worked diligently But yeah, dude the food don't eat the food there. Yeah, bro. Do not go to Fizzoli's That's don't go there She had five hundred dollars because she worked at Fizzoli's yeah, he's like can you come Tomorrow and I'm like Yeah, I'm like yeah, let's do it. So I buy my ticket. I tell my parents Right in that moment It was funny because he was like Management was really shady in the beginning because no one really knew about it It wasn't mainstream like it was in the beginning So he sent me this one-page contract. I remember my dad read it and he was like yeah, it's good It wasn't good. Okay, my dad didn't know what he was reading and so He was wanting to sign me but also at the same time he wasn't wanting to put me on the tour And so I am just wide-eyed and willful and I'm like let's go. So I pull up It's in Orange County. I Uber from the airport report to his house, and all just like trusting. I didn't ask any questions. It was all very silly of me first stuff, but I pull up to his house, his garage is open, this manager that's running this tour, and there's boxes everywhere in the garage. And he just said, "It's a computer." And I remember I pull up and he turns around and goes, "It's straight up, I never met this guy." And he turns around and goes, "Oh, hey." And I was like, "Hey." And I'm like, "Ed is house and he goes, "Can you help me package these boxes immediately?" He's like, "Can you help me package these boxes?" And I'm like, "Yeah, of course." And I'm just like from the south, so I'm like, "Yeah, sure, no problem." I go and I start packing these boxes. It's little hoodie merch. And so that's literally my entire career started. No one knows this, but I started packaging little huddy's merch. And we did that for the rest of the night. I met up with a few other people. We ended up spending a week. I met Chase. I met this kid named Griffin. I met this girl named Maddie. I'm this guy named Chris, and a few others. And so we spent this week. We ended up going to this hotel that he got for us. Really nice hotel in my opinion. It was like a built-in of sorts. And he walks in and he's like, "Oh, we can't stay here. "This is disgusting. "We can't stay here." And I'm like, "What are you talking about?" I grew up like, or like I said, and so I was as I stoked to be in this. It was like a sweet, right? It's like, "No, we can't stay here. "This is disgusting." So we end up leaving this hotel. And he takes us to the nicest hotel in Irvine. Like the nicest hotel I've ever been into my entire life. Like literally, like I'd never even seen technology like this in the room. It was crazy, right? And so we spent there about a week there. And it was awesome. I ended up having to fly home. The tour wasn't right then yet. It was like a few weeks in the future. And so I go back home. And when I get home, he invoices me for like $4,000. And I'm like, "Bro, what?" I don't know. Why'd you invoice me? He was like, "Do you think. " I remember he said, "Do you think it was free to stay?" Question mark. And so this is what happens with these managers, right? They get you and they kind of fluff you up. And then they tell you, "Oh, I'm something." And it's like you kind of get caught up in this situation. And I had signed this contract. So this one page contract. And so I was like caught up. And he was like, "It's okay, you can work it off." And I was like, "Okay." So he ends up doing this tour. I go out long story short, I go out to the tour and I'm basically like helping him with the tour. I'm a part of it, but I'm not. Like I'm a volunteer of sorts. And so this is where I met a lot of my friends at the beginning of my life in LA, Anthony and Josh. And a few other people that were on these tours. And like, I'd never been a part of this, but I had no idea what was going on, but I was honestly so stoked. Like I was so stoked. This is when I first started really smoking weed. Like I smoked weed in high school, but I was just with all my friends. We were like smoking weed. And we started this tour in Arizona. I remember specifically. And this tour was just a meet and greet tour. So I'm sure you understand. But this was like 1,500, 2,000 like kids, right? That would come. So all y'all would do is just meet them. That's it for six hours straight, bro. It was kind of gnarly. Six hours straight, we would just stand in line and then they would come through and take pictures with us, right? And so I wasn't anybody. I didn't have a lot of followers at that time. Like I had some, but not compared to these everyone else on the tour. And this is a true story. They would line up the biggest at the beginning or in. I can't remember, but and then they would funnel it down, right? And so I should have been down here, but I remember I was friends with Josh and Anthony and then when they were kind of big on the app. And so I just went and stood next to them. And people were passing by me for the first few shows. And I hated it. And I was like, I was like, no. So in my head, I have no idea what led me to do this, bro, but true story. They would be there with their parents 'cause they're like from like 10 to like, you know, 14 or whatever. And I just started shaking the parents' hands and introducing myself. And for some reason, this caught on. If you know the like, when you go do something and your mom comes up to me and you're like, oh my gosh, do you like this? And you're like, no mom, like shut up. Like I don't like them, but that's what was happening. Like all these parents were like, oh, I like this kid, you know? And then he's introducing himself. And I started making videos with the boys and literally within a month, dude, I gained like 1.52 million followers. - Oh my gosh. - And so this was like the golden age of like social media just became a thing. Like the whole e-boy thing became a thing. And people were coming to the app to either hate it or love it. And it was the perfect situation for us because that's what kept funneling in from two different angles like this app exploding. And before this, you could ask people if they were on TikTok and they were like, what? We don't even know what you're talking about. And you can't even imagine that now of how integrated it is. And so, but the craziest part about all of this is we had six hours of meet and greet and then stage time. And stage time was literally exactly what it says. That's it. They would just run up on stage and like the girls and the people in the crowd would just scream. And it was incredibly like awkward, right? And really like made, it was like an egg for sure. And but it was fun, whatever. And I just couldn't bear that we weren't doing anything on stage. So I remember very early on on the tour, I asked them, I was like, yo, just give me a microphone. And they were like, why? I was like, I'm just gonna sing. And so they gave me a microphone row. And for like every show for about like 10 minutes, I would go up on stage and just sing acapella. Like anything and everything. I would sing random like 30 second songs. I would sing whatever. There's probably some clips online and I definitely don't sound good, but I was just like going for it, bro. Like it was so crazy how now looking back like God used those moments, you know? And yeah, at the end of that tour, I went to, there was like two legs of it at the end of the second one. I, we were on the top of the world, bro. Like we were making money. We got to just travel the world on this bus with all these new friends I made. And I'd never been to a concert in my life besides like maybe a Christian concert, but I'd never been to a concert. And I was really obsessed with Juice World. And we were in Dallas for the last stop. And Juice World was playing a show. And I was like, oh my gosh, we have to go. So I got me and my homies all tickets. We went and it was my first experience in like an arena or anything. And I remember listening to Juice World sing this song called Empty, "In Brothers" this line. And I heard 10,000 people singing it at once. And I was in the middle of this pit, bro. They opened up the VIP. So we were like real close to Juice. And I didn't just hear people singing it. I heard people like crying it from their soul, dude. This is like a real moment for me. I was in the game. I started tearing up in the mosh. And I remember like, you're good. And I'm like, yeah, bro, awesome. I'm doing great. And in that moment, I got like the best way I could describe it. Now being in Christ, I kind of know what this means. But before, this is what I described it on a lot of interviews and stuff. Like I got new eyes and new ears in that moment. And I understood what music was. And it was like I found my purpose. Like what I was supposed to do my entire life. I started singing when I was younger. When I saw Never Say Never by Justin Bieber. Shout out, Bieber. And I just looked at him. I was like, bro, that's me. I was like me and Bieber are going to be friends with Dave, which is crazy if you know the events of life. And so in this moment, it all came together. And it was like, it wasn't I want to be. It was I am a musician, like I am an artist. I just felt it hit my soul. And so like I said, we were on a bus. And I met this girl named Maddie Monroe. And I was like, I can't go home, bro. I can't go back home. And so I called Maddie and I was like, yo, she was the only person I knew that lived in LA. Can I come stay with you, bro? I'll stay on the ground. I'll stay on the couch. I'll stay anywhere. She's like, yeah, you can stay in my guest house. (laughing) And I'm like, what guest house? I didn't know they had those, bro. And so I stay on the bus, right? The bus is driving back to LA. I think it's just me and the bus driver and then maybe the manager and drive back to LA like a day. And I get to LA and I pull up to her house. It's like the nicest house I think I've stayed in. Even like really to this day, bro. Her dad's like a Hall of Fame and will be baseball player. Like all these random things. So I was like homeless, but living nicer than I ever had lived in my entire life. And I stayed with them for six months. And again, I was there. I went because I was like, I'm a musician. Like, I'm gonna make music. And her mom was this agent for TV. And she kept wanting me to do these TV things. And I was on social media. I was still like pushing it. You know, I wasn't gonna stop. I was on top of the world. And, but I was like, no, I'm doing music. And so they had like guitars and ukuleles. And I remember I, there's actually a few videos that I post online in their living room. And I would just sing in her living room, just singing, singing, singing for about like a few weeks a month. And then finally her mom comes in and she was like, you know, you have a really good voice. And I was like, thank you so much. And she said, are you trying to make music? I was like, yeah, that's why I'm out here. Like I really want to make music. And she was like, well, I don't know anybody really. I don't think, but let me see if I can make something happen for you. She comes back and I think a few days later, she gets me in contact with these two producers, named Russell Alley and Sanjoy. And she was like, they're gonna do this for you for like, pro bono, you know, just like whatever you make, you know, they'll get a percentage of. And so I went in and the first studio I ever worked out of was in the back of West Coast Customs, right? And so, bro, it is like blessing after blessing after blessing. Like, and I'm not even questioning it. I'm just saying yes, you know? So, so you were doing, and all this time, as everything's unfolding, you're still battling the depression, battling like, as all this is unfolding, I, the thing that blows my mind, which is like, like it's like, yes, you know, all things work together for the good for those who are in Christ. God has used everything together for the good, for those who are in Christ, like yourself. But in that moment, it's like, man, what a tactic of the devil to be like, "Oh, you're depressed, here's millions of people to follow you and put their eyeballs on you. Oh, that's not working anymore. Oh, yeah, the music room you want. Here's that as well, and you keep throwing it at you." So is that what's going on? Absolutely. I mean, and at this point, I thought that I was like, "Cured." You know, I mean, I'm like, "Oh, life's great. Life's perfect. Like, so many more things that I can even put in this conversation happened that just felt like direct blessings from God, but I was, well, I was telling you before we started this, what you were, what you told Togey, bro, really hit my spirit. And then I listened to that after I gave my life to Christ, so it even made more sense. But what if those blessings were distractions, man? And I think so often we get so caught up in how our life can get better, you know? But the better we think it is is not what better it actually is, you know? And that's what was happening to me. Everything I could have ever wanted was happening to me. So I was like, "Oh, God's blessing me," you know? Did you ever have like a, like a, this is my lowest moment when everyone, because everyone from the outward appearance is going to go, "Oh, I want to be in Jaden shoes right now." Yeah. Yeah. He's just got it all together. He's, he's everyone loves him. But like in the midst of everyone thinking, I want to be in Jaden's position, was there like this was my lowest moment? So it started really kind of after this. I ended up moving into a different house and just like dude, enriching myself deeper and deeper in the culture and the drugs. Like I started doing so many drugs, started drinking so much. Sex became an idol, bro. Like all these things started happening gradually and then they accelerated, right? And it was at a certain point where my life couldn't, there wasn't a single inch of my life where those things weren't active. Not a single inch, you know? Daily, you know? And it actually got to the point where less of those things felt like the problem. That's how enriched in this like sin that I was in, bro. I didn't feel like sin, bro. It felt like I was sinning if I, if I wasn't doing more drugs, you know, which is the craziest. But amidst all this, I met new friends. This like false happiness, this false joy. And it's so funny. This is why I love Jesus because he doesn't, doesn't take those memories away from me and make me regret them. I just see them for what they truly are now, you know? And I really enjoyed like my time. You know, I can't sit here and lie. Like I met my best friend who passed away Cooper during this whole time. I met some people that are still in my life to this day, my manager, you know, during this whole time. And so again, yeah, God does use everything, but it's not because he has to. It's because he's merciful, you know? And he's not the one that is giving you all these opportunities to take away from yourself. And so all this was happening. And I started actually losing my mind, bro. Like I didn't realize it in the beginning, but I started becoming really manic. It would come in and out. I was doing a lot of psychedelics, a lot of drugs, a lot of pills, like I was telling you. And I was going in and out of psychosis. And that's so common nowadays, which is so sad. But I would look at people and say, what are you doing day to day life? Like even vaping, bro, are you vaping? Are you smoking? Are you doing drugs? Are you drinking all the time? You know, I would like drink, drink, drink, wake up so depressed. And I'm like, oh, bro, like the answer is just to do more, you know? And then when you're sober, you feel like you have something wrong with you, but no, it's just the residual of actually everything else that you have going on. And really reckless with people's feelings, thinking the world was all about me. This is how the devil works too. He doesn't just lie about something. He uses part of the truth. There is good to good to a lot of those things in the beginning, right? When I first started doing drugs, there was no problems. When I first started drinking, there was no problems. When I first started having sex, there was no problems. It was all like, oh, joy and acceptance and freedom. And then he draws you in. He's like, he adds on to the truth. So he says, this is true. And it's not bad for you, right? And it's this. He always adds on like he does in the beginning with Eve. He doesn't just lie. He adds on to the truth with a lie. And then what he does, oh, you just did that. And he starts pointing his finger. He's like, look at you, Jane. Look at you. You're alone. You're disgusting, dude. Like you're worthless. Like you're doing all these things. You don't, you don't actually have a brain to control anything, right? You don't have any battle. I think it started with I remember I was living in this house in Bel Air. And like I said, I was doing a lot of drugs. And this is so funny. Curtis brought back into my life. This is God does this. By the way, I hope bring people back in your life. And you'll know that they're kind of people that are being used by the Lord because your flesh starts flaring up. And I was so mad, bro. Curtis came to my house one night and I was like, hi out of my mind. And he looks at me and goes, Jane, this is right after I had put out during this whole time, also my music career broke skyrocketed. Like skyrocketed. I got my first two gold records within like the first three songs that I put out. And so I'm like, again, on this high, on this high. But then there would be these moments of quietness where it was just like scary, right? He comes to me in my house and we're all living in this house and we're supposed to be living like millionaires. But dude, we don't have bed frames. It's a mess everywhere. It's like a perfect representation of our brains. And he's like, dude, I want to support you, but I just can't. Like I really can't. And I was like, what do you mean? He was like, I just feel like God's like heartbroken about how you're living, you know? And this pissed me off, dude. I was so mad because I was like, bro, are you kidding me? Look at my life. Like look at everything that I have. How could God be upset with me if he's giving me all these things, right? Key point. So and he didn't necessarily even believe in this at the time. I remember, so I got up. I'm like, hi, out of my mind. I'm like, I start yelling at this guy in my room. I remember his clear day. And I'm like, I'm like, screw this. I'm like, God, if you like were really so upset, like, give me a sign. And so he rolls his eyes kind of. He's like, oh, whatever. Like, screw this. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, ruin my life, ruin my life. Like, I'm so tired of this. Like, I don't, I don't even want to like ruin everything I have. Like, I'm so tired. I don't want to feel guilty anymore, right? And so he leaves. And I ends. I continue in doing what I'm doing, which I won't mention, but I wake up the next morning. And all my homies are like, this is like kind of a peak COVID. And we had just traveled to Texas on a flight. And people got really mad at us online. So we were like, all right, we're just going to drive. And so my homies like, bro, you got to come like, come on, you got to pop on the strip. And I'm like, okay, bro, but we got to bring weed. Like, we got to bring weed. Like, I wasn't planning on going, but if we go, I have to have weed. Like, I can't not have weed. So we've got like four ounces of weed, dude, out of the strip. We got a sprinter van. It's like a 24-hour drive. We're 20 minutes outside of the Airbnb in Texas the next day. And we're all asleep. And we wake up in our security driver. And all of a sudden, he says, hey, it's the cops. They're going to search the van. The next day after Curtis told me that, and I called out to God. And I was like, ruined my life. And the next day, I got a second degree felony. Did everyone get a felony or no? It was a situation where one of our homies was Canadian. And actually in the moment, we knew why when we got out, they asked for our IDs and he pulled out his ID. It was like, "Mmm, Canadian." And so it started raising suspicion. And there was like six or seven of us. Yeah, that's cool. He's like casually talking about getting a felony, but he makes a six, seven joke. Like, casually as he's like, "I got arrested." Who is this guy? And so I'm from Texas. So I know that they are going to arrest somebody. Like, I know it, right? And they started asking, "Do you have any alcohol in the car?" And we were like, "No." And they said, "Do you have any weed?" And immediately I was like, "Yes, I actually got to watch back the body Kim footage after the fact with my lawyer." And dude, I was shook, bro. But like, I was like, in the moment, I was chilling for a little bit. But I was like, "Yes, sir." And he said, "Is it anyone else's?" And I was like, "I only speak for myself." Thinking everyone else is going to be like, "Yeah, it's ours, too." We didn't expect my one homie to do it because he would have gotten deported, bro. You know, I mean like bad situation. But I look over silence, dude. Just straight silence. And so I'm like, kind of tweaking in my homie Bryce at the time. I look at him, bro. And he's looking at me. And we're looking at each other in my head. I'm like, "Brice, bro. You got it. You got it. You got to say something." And clear as day, I remember Bryce. He's sitting there after like 10, 15 seconds. And the cop goes, "Anybody else?" And he just goes, "All right, fine. It's mine, too." And I was like, "Bro, with the hands?" And the cop is like, "Are you sure?" And he's like, "Yeah, it's mine, too." So he took it with me. But the thing that got me was I was using one of my homie's backpacks with my laptop. And we had forgotten that in the front of the bag was like an edible bar and a shroom bar. And so he's like, "Who's bag?" He says, "I'm like, "Yo, it's fine." And he pulls it out. And I forget what he said. But he was like, when he pulled it out, he was like, he was like bingo, or like ding, ding, ding, or something like he like found like, you know, jackpot for himself to like get us in trouble. And I was chilling up until I got to jail. And then they do they do the whole thing? Like, I'm from the South, like big proprietor of like law enforcement. But do they treat me like straight up an animal, bro? It was like the craziest feeling ever. Do they were laughing and pointing at me from the desk? Like, it sounds fake when you say it until you're you're there. they were so weirdly joyful that they had gotten us. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - And I remember the sheriff that arrested me walked by the cell and knocked on the door. He was like, yeah, it's gonna be a class A misdemeanor and a second degree felony. So good luck. And then just walks away. I was like, what do you mean good luck bro? I'm like sitting in the cell. And so got bail just barely, my homie Blake, his mom worked at Chase. The bail bonds place didn't give them money for the charge. So I wouldn't have gotten out if he and his mom didn't step up. So it all worked out in the moment and I flew back home. And you would think this would be my moment where I'm like, oh God, like, you gave me exactly what I'm asking for. Like this is where I turn my life around. No, I went back home. I went sober for like a month or two maybe. Me and Josh actually moved into an apartment. We stayed with Curtis for a little bit. And then dude, I just went right back. It wasn't even just like a day. It was just like gradually. I just gradually I was like, okay, now I'm going to smoke again. Like, oh, I'm going to drink again. And then dude, the second time was like funny enough far worse than the first. Like maybe not in my actions, but in my soul and my spirit and my mind, bro, it was like, I think about the parable of the house and the demon being casted out and you can't find water. So he comes back and the house is like clean and orderly, but empty. - And he brings like seven bros. - Yeah, seven bros just to mess things up. And the second state was worse than the first. That's literally what happened to me. And so, how long did that second time period last for you of just like, because you guys kind of arrested and went 20, 20, I want to say 20, 20. - Okay. - May of 2020. - So then the second time period back around was, this was like, we're going into, yeah, into 2021 up until literally this last year, bro. Dang, so wow, so that period lasted almost five years. So I moved to L.A. in 2022, end of 2022. So we started the Bible study. - Yeah, the first time in October, which we just said we're throwing shout outs to teachers. - Yes, but big shout out to Warren Lents. - Yes, Warren Lents is one of the favorite human beings on the planet. - I hope he sees this, man. I actually haven't talked to him in a minute. He got married and I think he lives in Ohio now still, but yeah, what it got, dude. - He is like, Warren Lents is like the best ever and his wife, K-Lis, they're incredible. But we started this Bible study in L.A. And I just moved to L.A. Well, actually, I didn't start it. I don't know if you know this, Chelsea. Chelsea and Gabe started it. And that night, Gabe came up to me. I was just there to like, to hang. And he was like, I'm trying to meet friends. I've been in L.A. for like, not even a month, I don't think. And he was like, dude, I need you to preach. Need you to preach when you're not having me to preach. So I preached and you showed up that night. Warren brought you. That's why we're giving a shout out to Warren. And that's where we initially met. But I think that was the only time we had seen each other. - Yeah, I think it was. And I was deep in it at that time where I did not want to go. Again, shout out Warren, 'cause I only went 'cause he wanted me to. The thing was, when you come to know Christ, right? Something that I was very unaware of and most of my life, which I should have been, is how much more life is spirit than it is tangible. It's so much more spirit than it is tangible. And a lot of things you're struggling with aren't because there's something wrong with you and you're physical. It's because there's like a spiritual battle you're going through, you know? And so when I was around all these people, you know, when you're around certain people and they could say nothing, but you feel like they're judging you or you feel like you're naked or something, that is the spiritual battle you're going through is feeling rejected even though nothing else is going on. And so when I was in those settings, I didn't want to be around them because that's how the devil was making me feel, you know? And this happened a lot with people like Gabe, with so many other people in my life, with people like Curtis, you know? I couldn't stand being around them because it was like, when you are a light, it shines light on darkness, you know? And the reality is, is most, if you're actually walking the light, you're walking in love, bro. And if you would actually take the moment to talk to someone in the darkness, they would feel that love. It's the kindness of the Holy Spirit, that leads people to repentance, you know? So, but that's how the devil gets you, bro. He confuses you and he makes you think that it's your own thoughts, right? This is something that was big in my whole journey was I thought I knew everything, bro. Even the things I didn't know, I thought I didn't know them if that makes sense. Like, I was so enriched in like, if I had a thought coming to my head, it's because I was thinking it, but I'm like, where do you think those thoughts come from, bro? And this is something God's been really showing me over these past few months, 'cause of the clarity and the sound mind that I've so been gracefully been given. And I just really wish that for everyone watching. Like, even though I'm telling this whole long story, the main point of all this is the redemption and where I'm at now, you know? And like, I have done nothing for myself to get me to this point, nothing. The only thing I did was meet the truth. I didn't figure out the truth, I met 'em, you know? And anyway, we'll get to that. But, well, I think what you said is so important. And it's, I can even think of it like, this happens whether we interact with people or, you know, it can even be the temptation of if you screw up hiding it inside and feeling like whenever you spend time around people that love Jesus. And you don't love Jesus. That feeling of light exposing the darkness within you, Satan convinces you that they hate you. - Yeah, absolutely. - Because they have something that you don't have. - 100%. - But I love what you said spot on. It's like, they're walking in love. And really, they're loving you. If they're actually, sincerely, they love Jesus. - Yes, they follow 'em, you know? 'Cause there's always gonna be the people that claim Jesus, but they're really mean. - Yeah, absolutely. - But, talking to someone that actually loves Jesus and seer faith in Him, it's just going to love the living snot out of you. - Yeah, absolutely. Actually, more so. I've always loved people. And when I came out to Christ, I've seen a lot of people in my comments like when I started talking about it, obviously people have firm opinions. But even then God showed me that's not them. It's where they're at in their spiritual journey that has that opinion and that's a different topic. But, so you, we've, I love how you were shifting that perspective to you. You were like, it's all about the redemption. We've talked a lot about the, I was depressed. I had this, I had that, I got arrested. I was doing, you know, drug, sex, alcohol, you name it. When did all this change? And what was your turning point to go all in for Jesus? - Well, it's kind of twofold. My best friend, Cooper, blesses heart, bro. Like, that was my soulmate dog. He passed away a few years ago, dude. It's crazy, it's been that long. Who is also really struggling with a drug addiction. And he got poisoned by fentanyl. On his way to a Bible study, actually, with Gabe and Frankie, which is so gnarly, dude. Yeah, really crazy story. And so after that, dude, I turned, I thought I had done drugs before, but I had not. Like, I started doing fentanyl, they sands, like knowing they were pressed and just like doing them anyway. Like, I was deep in it. Like, my sex addiction got even crazier. And it's so funny. Like, you say sex addiction and people are like, oh, that's bad, but I was like, it was just me having sex. And that's what's so pushed in life. So normal to everyone. It's your body, you know what I mean? It's like, why wouldn't you do that? And honestly, I understand. If you don't know Jesus, I understand. Why wouldn't you? That's kind of what God showed me that this whole thing is. There's no expectation for the unbeliever, you know? Even miracles, miracles are miracles for the unbeliever. For the believer, it's just expecting to God do what He promises us, you know what I mean? And to work how He promises us. It's like a shift in perspective. So like, as I'm saying all this, dude, my favorite part is that God gave me such a time and He kept me safe. There's a song that talks about, I kept you while you were sleeping, you know what I mean? But it's time to wake up. Essentially, it's what it's saying is Psalm 3. And so, that was me, bro. He sustained me. That's the word that it uses in the scripture. He sustained me in my sleep. And that's what I was. He sustained me throughout all this, which he didn't have to. This is the glorious mercy of God, dude. I can't even express to you guys like, he did not have to save me, but he did. So after Cooper died, I turned my heart off completely. I was like, I don't want it. I don't want God. I don't want anything. And then Charlie Kirk got assassinated, bro. And everyone watching, bro, listen with your heart before you listen with your mind, all right? I had no idea really about him or anything. I grew up in the South, so I had a lot of resentment towards the Republican Party. And I came out to LA and I had a lot of feelings about the Democratic Party. I feel like both are able to be lost. And let's just say that. And so what I noticed when Charlie Kirk got assassinated was signal went off in my heart, bro. Just broken heartedness. And I had experienced that with a lot of other tragedy in my life, like I just said, with Cooper. It was like that same feeling I had with Cooper. And the other thing that was really surprising to me was the split difference between other people that were really stoked about the moment. And this really scared me, bro. One, because I'd never seen something like that happen previously in my life with other tragedies, you know? And that split difference, when he got assassinated, I heard what time do you have left. That's what I heard in my head at what time do you have left? [BLANK_AUDIO] brother in this whole time in my life, I was still proclaiming God. I was like God, you know, God. And this is that Paul talks about this like no matter how the gospel is preached, like God can use it, you know, whether it's in vain or whatever. I think that's a big part of my story because there's a lot of people that have come up to me and they're like, bro, I found God because I listened to your music and I was like, are you sure? Like there's no way. But God uses everything. And I was saying God loves you for who you are. I was saying God, God, God, God, this, God, that. But I was obviously living like I didn't know him. And because I didn't. And I heard what time do you have left? What time do you have left? And this started to scare me. And I started getting a lot of fear about dying. I couldn't stop thinking about it, bro. I started getting a lot of anxiety. And I was like, well, this is crazy. This is not from the Lord. Like the Lord doesn't give you anxiety. So I, I was actually just reading Philippians this morning and Philippians four. And it talks about this thing, you know, the Lord does not give you anxiety, right? It doesn't give you fear, right? There's a reverence for the Lord, which they mentioned as fear, but fear and anxiety are straight from the devil and like the demonic. And so I started praying. I started going in my backyard. I talk a lot obviously. And so I'm like in my backyard, voice memoing, praying, feel nothing. Started reading scripture, felt nothing, angry, bro. I was angry and started reading scripture. And I was like, this is sort of freaking me out even more. And so I started talking to a few people in my life. And then I hit you up, bro. And I DMed you. I was like, bro, something led me to DM Bryce. And I was like, can we please talk? And so he was very willing and open. And then I called him. We faced him in that dude, literally our conversation. I was in my backyard. And I told you kind of my situation. And you said very plainly, I don't even know if you remember, but you said, have you ever asked Jesus to reveal himself to you? And in the moment on the phone, I was like, yeah, bro, I just told you I grew up in the church. You know, I just told you all this stuff. And you're like, okay, you know, just just like lead with that. So I hung up the phone, bro. And my heart dropped. And it was like, I heard you've never asked to meet me. And immediately, bro, I went in my bedroom. And I didn't even know what I was so lost in everything. And I grew up in the church. I had all this knowledge, but I was so lost. I had no idea what to do. And so I sat at the edge of my bed, the exact place, the exact opposite of the place that I felt like Jesus would meet me. The place I'd defiled myself and didn't honor God ever. It was a place of like sexual worship, more than anything in my life. And I turned on worship. And I do, I just started. I was at the end of my rope. I think this is the, this is the important part. I've talked to a few people where they talk about wanting to meet God. And I would ask them, in love, do you really, you know, do you really? Because it's obvious when you're at the end of your rope and it's obvious when you have a desperation in your spirit, you know? And the only time the Lord is ever in a hurry and the Bible is in the story of the prodigal son. It's talking about Jesus and the Father and talking about us and the Father. And when the prodigal son goes and he lives his life, and he's so embarrassed, he's so scared to come back home and he starts coming back home and it's just the Father sees him in a distance and he starts sprinting towards him. This is the only time Jesus is in a hurry. I love the painting of Michael Angelo with Adam, the hand of Adam. If you look, Adam's hand is limp and the hand of God is reaching for it. All it takes is a limp hand reached to God. In fact, I think that's when he meets you the most. I was as the Lord loves a broken heart and scripture. And so I think this is where I was at, bro, I had a broken heart. And before I say any of this, to the year before, just to clarify with people, my life got better. I became a better man. I got better friends, more diligent, hard working, everything in life I had got better. I stopped doing drugs. I stopped doing sex. I actually went celibate like four or five or six months before I gave my life to the Lord. And it still wasn't the answer. These things you do with your hands are not the answer. The answer is a person. It's Jesus. And so when I was at the edge of my bed, I started crying out, feeling silly. I wasn't even really praying. I was literally just like talking and kind of like begging out loud. It was like, Jesus, you have to meet me. I can't do this anymore. I have to have an undeniable experience. I kept saying that over and I said, Jesus, I have to feel the fire. I have to. I'm going to convince myself that this isn't real if it's not undeniable. I know myself. I'm too smart. That's what I was telling myself. I'm too smart. And for about five to ten minutes, I was doing this and no lie, bro. In a way, I've never experienced in my life, the presence of Jesus Christ, the son of man, came into my bedroom. My head was down. My body was slumped at the edge of my bed. It was like my skin was blended with the air. Every breath I took was the first one. I was in this reverence. This holy, I can't explain the holy presence. I didn't see him. I didn't want to look. That's how holy it was. The best way I can put into words was literally in the presence of Jesus. Not just the Holy Spirit, the presence of Jesus. The Holy Spirit was filled put inside of me in that moment and it's carried on. I remember I just kept saying Yeshua, Yeshua, like butter off of my lips, bro. I was in the midst of an experience. I didn't think was possible in my whole life. In that moment, He showed me for about 30 seconds, I had the most intense fear I had ever been given. Like I said, the God doesn't give you fear in your day-to-day life, but He does show you what you are without Him. For 30 seconds, He showed me how separated I was my entire life. I think you mentioned something like this before, but it literally was like my hand was on the door knob of heaven. And if I died right there, He would have said, "Depart from me. I never knew you." And I would have said, "Lord, Lord, I knew I went to church. I did all these things in my whole life." In that moment, He covered me in grace, bro. Grace. For the first time in my life, I felt grace, a tangible grace from the top of my head, to the toes of my feet. He showed me how He saw me, bro. And Bryce, it wasn't. He was proud of me. He was proud of every mistake I ever made. He was proud of the before, during, and after. He was proud. It was all wrapped up in His love. There wasn't a moment that He wasn't proud of me. It didn't make any sense to me. When He looked at me, it was like as if the like God was looking at Jesus, it was so pure, there wasn't a spot on me that He didn't love, right? And so I experienced all this my bedroom. And in that moment, I gave my life to the Lord. And I was alone, bro, in my bedroom. And I think that was an important part because I think we can trick ourselves. And the Scripture says the heart is more deceiving above all else. Mine definitely is. And I think sometimes we need things to happen around us to convince us of what's going on. But the biggest transition and transformation happens on the inside. And you get a new spirit in that moment. I had a spiritual exchange, something like I never experienced before, bro. I grew up in the church. I got baptized five times growing up. Like I kept doing it thinking this is the one I would go have the high and it would fall off, right? And so I say this because the next two weeks of my life, this is to give encouragement to people in their journey with faith. I met Jesus the next week was the hardest week in my entire life. I made more mistakes than I had in the previous like two months, bro. I fell and I fell hard. And there was a part of me that the lies from the devil were like, oh, see, it wasn't real. But the difference was, bro. Instead of drawing me further away from God, it brought me closer to God. That grace that I talked about in that moment hit me again. Hit me again. He said, Jayden, I love you. Remember, you met me. You didn't figure this out. You met me. And he's and he kept taking me back to this moment over and over and I keep talking about this word and vellup, right? Comes from within and envelops. And over the next few months, bro, the further I got away in time, the closer he brought me back to that moment. And I kept smoking weed and drinking for like the first two months that I gave my life to Christ. But God never made me feel bad about it. Ever once I never felt guilty. But what he did do, and he was like, Jayden, can you hear me? Can you hear me when you're smoking? Can you hear me when you're drinking? Can you be kind to this person without a doubt while you're drinking? And it started convicting me. And conviction isn't the repulsion of sin. It's the attraction of the Holy Spirit. It pulls you towards him. It doesn't tell you how you're wrong. It shows you how he's right. That's what conviction is. And so that's what it did for me. And I started, dude, these revelations that I thought I knew my whole life were completely flipped upside down and presented to me in grace and love. The love I thought I had for my friends, doubled, tripled, buddhrupled, bro. Like I loved people that were outside of Christ more than I ever had. My curiosity to the scripture I told you got made me angry. I started reading and it started applying to me because it was written to me, right? It was significant and personal. And I started to want to know more. It wasn't just what am I reading on this verse? I'm like, who wrote this first? Why are they writing it? Where are they writing it from? And when I was praying, I wasn't just praying out loud. I was praying to someone. The Holy Spirit inside of me started to rise up. I had a few moments of obedience that it was so obvious. If you're asking, how do I know if God's asking me to obey? You know because you don't want to do it, right? And there's a few moments like that for me. And there was this one big one where I obeyed, even though I knew it wasn't going to work out for me in the flesh in the world. I actually got in trouble in the world by a few people around me because what what what obedience to the Lord looks like to people who may not understand it looks like disobedience to the world. And it looks like irresponsibility sometimes, right? And so this is what was happening for me. And in that moment that I obeyed this really big moment for me, I was crying out to God after I felt like my life got where it's after this moment. And my spirit that was a baby at this point got catapulted to a new level of relationship with the Lord and the Lord told me, "Jane, the gift for obeying me isn't a better life. It's more me." That's so good. That's what Jesus says. Yes. What sort of the pure and heart for they shall see God. Absolutely. If you're honest with God, you get more of Him. That's like the whole. And I love that because it's like finally you're, and you even, you like unintentionally said it as you've progressively told your testimony of what God's done in your life. It's, "Oh, yeah. When I finally got honest with God, yeah, then He met me." But it wasn't that He wasn't willing to see me. It's just He did want to see me. He just can't move in a dishonest heart. He needs someone to be open and honest and real. He has to be able to hear His voice and this is for everyone listening, but I was back home seeing my nephew, bro. He's the cutest thing in the entire world. Fight me on it. And he's like three months old, dude, and my sister sitting there talking to him, and my brother-in-law comes in and he goes, "Charlie, that's His name." And Charlie looks up at him. And I was like, "I looked at my sister and I was like, that's crazy, bro. He knows His voice." And my sister goes, "It's not that crazy. He was talking to him the entire time he was in the womb." And the Lord hit me and He told me, "Jane, I've been speaking to you and using you the entire time you were in the womb." But now you know my voice because you've been birthed in me again. And this is what's happening to you in your life as you're watching right now, whether you know the Lord or don't know the Lord, but if you don't know the Lord, He is speaking to you. And when you come into congruence and your spirit becomes His spirit, you are going to start to notice things that God's been doing in your life since before. He's not waiting to change your life. Now He's been changing your life since the moment you were born, since before you were born. And it's all leading you up to the moment where you meet Christ and you have this moment with Him. And I highlight Christ because Christ is the only way we get to the Father. In the same way, it's the only way the Father sees us is through Christ. That's how He sees you. Like perfect blemishless, blameless, covered in the blood. That's how He sees you already. And so there's this fear that the devil wants to put on you is that you have to prepare yourself and get yourself ready. Now, the only thing you have to do is let go of what you think you are and let God tell you how you actually are and how He sees you. And so this has turned into, dude, I also thought that God was going to change my personality. Dude, no, He gave me my personality back, bro. I'm going to use this vernacular specifically. There's negative connotations maybe with this word, but like addiction, right? I'm an addict, right? I'm obsessive. I'm extreme. All these things, I'm like, oh, well, God's going to change that. And then one of the first things He showed me was first Timothy 1, 7 for the Spirit of God does not make us timid, but gives us power and self-discipline. What God did is He didn't take my personality and change it. He gave my personality its original purpose. I'm still an addict, but I'm an addict to the Lord. I'm still obsessive. I'm still extreme, but I'm extreme about my faith and about the love that I give other people, you know? He didn't change anything about me. In fact, He gave me what I was supposed to be in the beginning that I've been trying to do on my own, you know? And all of this, like literally I can't stress enough, I did not do. That is the most fascinating part to me. I think one thing I do have because of my extremism is I have faith, bro. I had faith in myself before I knew Christ, you know, and that faith just turned into faith to an eternal God and a God that loves, bro. And His love isn't weak. God is going to shed things off of you, 100% when you come into contact with Him, but it's exactly what you've been looking for. The answers you've been looking for aren't coming in a form of what you do. It comes in a person. And when you come in contact with that person, you start to look like Him and He just starts to melt these things off of you that you thought you needed, or maybe you didn't want this whole time. And He takes it from you and He puts it in a place that can't reach you anymore. You start walking this authority and, bro, it has been the coolest thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. I'm so grateful. God did not have to save me. I really believe that He honored the prayers of multiple people in my life. My mom, bro. My mom prayed for me for so many years, dude. And I used to hate it. I used to hate how fervent she was about putting me at the feet of Jesus. And, bro, I'm so grateful there's nothing. I would give up everything, literally everything in my entire life. I have so many more stories about the things that I've gotten to be a part of and people I've met and the money I've had and all this stuff. I would give up everything, every single thing to experience what I experienced in my bedroom and to live the way that God has allowed me to live now. Everything. Well, the same way that your mom put you at the feet of Jesus, I would love for you to close this out by putting everyone watching it, listening at the feet of Jesus. I would love for you to pray for everyone watching and listening. 100% and before I pray for how many thank you, bro, for having me. Thank you for what you do, dog. I mean, obviously like you're so young. You're someone I looked up to despite your age, bro. You were such a key part of bringing me to the feet of Jesus, but there's also a lot of pressure that comes with that, dude. I understand, not even just in the highlight and the fame that you have acquired that the Lord has given you, but the spiritual pressure, too, you know what I mean, and you are blessed and not because of what you do, but because of who you are and the Lord is so proud of you and he's so grateful for you and he has no expectation from you. And so I just want to honor you and I hope everyone watching as much as you look up to the price, understand that he's human and he's young, he's 21, right, 22, baby, it's a good one. He's not on yet, but so yeah, love you now for a long time, man, thank you for saying that. No problem. That was kind. Absolutely. Lord Jesus, I'm so grateful that you get to use someone like me. If you've known me and you're watching this, you can understand that a little bit more than others, but if you don't, just understand that I was a broken human living in death. Jesus, you brought me into life. You didn't take me from wrong to right. You took me from death to life. And so as the viewer is listening right now, Lord, I pray that you cover them in a grace, first and foremost, and a forgiveness and a love that encompasses all their sin, that they're not defined by their sin, but they're actually defined by the blood that paid for it. Lord, I pray that you will meet them in an intimate way that the Holy Spirit will guide them to a moment where they fall at your feet or Jesus humble and at the end of their rope, that they know everything that they'd be feeling. If they have a stirring up in their spirit during this conversation, that it is no coincidence, that it is the Holy Spirit moving on them, that you want to bring them into a life that was meant and designed for them before the foundation of the world, or we come against any lies of the enemy, any destruction that is coming in their life, things that do not make sense, Lord, let them be highlighted and let them be understood and let a sound mind come over their mind and let there be a peace that goes with them in this journey that they're going to have moving forward closer to you. Lord, it says, "Journey or to you and you will draw near to them." You will draw near to us. And so I pray that that is happening right now, right now, Lord Jesus, that this is not a religion-based thing. This is a transformation life, eternal life thing. The King of the universe is not just a King, but he's a father and he wants his children to spend time with him and he wants to live in eternity with his children. You have a purpose to the viewer. You have such a heart that was crafted by God and he loves you so much. He wants to help you. He wants to save you. He's saved your first and foremost. He wants to walk with you. He doesn't want to tell you where to walk without him. He wants to be there holding you up. So God, I just pray that you can impact these people. I love that we get to do this through screen, through microphones. That's how powerful you are, God, that we get to use our voice and call upon your name and it starts to move mountains or Jesus and by the mountains. I mean, the mountains inside of our heart, that eternal whole that exists can only be filled by an eternal God. So I pray that not by my words, not by Bryce's words, but that something throughout this podcast just reaches somebody and we love you so much and we thank you and you're miraculous. You're matchless. I mean, you're merciful name, Jesus. Amen.