The Jew Snapped

What's happening beautiful people if it's a church of what's happening now new edition with my little Bruce Lee Lisa at and we have a guest right off the top Because we're getting ready for the holidays and this is the only way to get ready from the holidays with my girl Christina from Brooklyn You know what I'm saying what's up beautiful Bianca Bianca what did I say oh my god my cousin's name I'm telling you to no because this fucking guy told me to send a text to Steve Myrtle my brother and his wife is Christina that's why so I was thinking it's my fight it is my fault But this is how we know he's gonna like you because everyone he likes he calls them by a name that's not their name so you're just a bit of Christina. It's not too far off. No Bianca. I'm very sorry. I can't forget all good Jesus Christ. How fucking embarrassing is this right off the bat? What's happening? We're good. I'm happy to be here at a Brooklyn holy shit. Yeah, I'm happy that you're here. First of all, I love your accent. Oh, thank you. It's is real and old school You know when you see these Brooklyn movies actors have to go to like a linguist to sound like you you're the fucking that's the the best accent ever in your videos. You know you're the shit man. Yeah. What's happening? Listen the first I have to I'm gonna get props with props to do my husband introduced me to you and leave when we first started dating and we would just sit there on the floor for cracking up for fucking hours. Okay, and I'm a little offended because I know you guys are professional comedians. I think I'm a little funny. But I never got my husband to do that deep laugh like when he watches you guys. He fucking cracks up so much and I've never heard that laugh. But that held a special place in my heart. But yeah, and then you know, once you talk about your food in the videos, I'm like, you know what you're talking about. You know what I mean? I love it. You're great. And yeah, now we're here. Now we're here. Well, there's going to be a good night because we got three. Well two foodies and one guy who he lives with me. And now he's married. I'm trying to put that for 15 years. Yeah, I've been trying to get him on the program. I'm on the program. Good for a week or two. And he slips off and theorize. Everything I was I was on your page. I was doing research today. Yeah, yeah, I'm just looking at your page. You made you make how many chubby dudes hit you up. Your DMs must be full of chubby dudes. You made you made Italian wonton soup. Oh, yeah. Oh my god. What was in the one time? No, I put the same filling that you put like in what is that totally? Yeah, totally. The wedding soup wonton soup. So when you put in like the chicken meat that you put in Italian wedding soup, I put it inside the one time. I love it's Chinese food, the wonton. So, you know, you mix it up. We'll talk a cultural over there. Yeah, so there's a guy in my town that has to read that makes lobster shrimp fried rice with risotto. Wow. That's also another place around the corner makes lobster fried rice, but my boy over there chops it up with the risotto with the risotto. And he calls it Italian fried rice risotto. He's opening up another restaurant that's going to be. He calls me JD. It's JD's rice. Oh, shit. That's the other place. Wow. So it's like a steak rib place. And he's going to have that as one of the side because I always torture him to that. Yeah, he has to make it for me. And then customers like, you know, make it for me like you asked. It took me a year or two to get him to make it. Somebody whispered to me one day if you want to try. He make kung pao chicken. No, general towel tonight. Steve border. Unbelievable. Challenge. I'll be dude. Brooklyn, you know, you Brooklyn people just that last, you know, the last couple weeks, the last five years for me, since I moved back here. It's been really weird because I haven't seen these people or whatever, but I realized how old that was. I'm still three generations, you know, even before me. Like I grew up with a time when everybody was older and everybody complains now that Brooklyn doesn't exist. Yeah, the old Staten Island doesn't exist. It's all this. It's all that, you know. And then we see your videos. And you're like, fuck feels good to be a gangster. Yeah. Well, listen, everything changes. And someone said something to me, the like a while going stuck with me, you can either embrace it while you're there or run away. And I'm still there in Brooklyn. And you know, I got to embrace the changes, you know, and got to do what I was, you know, when I'm from a young age, you know, everything's changing. That's life, you know, and I feel like I'm also stuck. I forget how old I'm getting, even though like, yeah, I'm in my 30s, but still, you know, like I still think about my childhood the way I was brought up. And you want that to exist, but it's not there no more, you know what I mean? Who cooked, who taught you how to cook? Honestly, my mother, my mother, you know, she always cooked for us every night, we had dinner at home. She was always cooking. We always had Sunday dinner. And you know, she learned from her mother as well, you know. But it's just in our blood, you know, like Italians, we cook, we cook, we eat, you know, I feel like it just runs through our blood over there. So it's just something I grew up with and it just comes natural almost, you know. When I was really young, I moved here and I was ten to North Bergen to this neighborhood that surrounds Clipside. And I started going to Italian people's houses, you know, I like fucking Italian. And I still remember something when I was really young, you said to him, you said, my mother cooked every night, face them, that generation, that mother, they wouldn't pay for Italian food. Oh, yeah. It was why would they? You understand why you want to try something different? And there's a, I've heard it for years and then there's a movie that actually such a great, it's called 29th Street with Danny Ayala. Okay. And he would complain, I paint, I'm making my own pizza. And the pizza was terrible, but he kept making it because he go, it's cost 10 cents to make. You know, but yeah, but that generation would did not go out to get Italian food. If they ate exotic, try me. Yeah. That's as exotic as they got. Yeah. Okay. Listen, when we were growing up, we were trained. If we had to go to any way, like an Italian restaurant for dinner, you don't know what are the pasta. You don't know the pasta was number one, what cost them nothing to make. And their sauce will never be as good as the sauce you have at home. And now I find myself, even when I go to like Italian restaurants, we never order the pasta. So what do you get? You get a chicken, you know, you get something with meat like you just never order the pasta. Like I have never ordered pasta with, you know, sauce and a meatball my life from a restaurant, never, never. No, no, no, no. But it's just depressing if like you took one bite and it wasn't as good as yours or your mom. That's, let's everyone's got their recipe. You know, you I make my own. My mother makes her own. Of course, it tastes a little bit different, you know, but you go to a place and everyone's red sauce. Like I feel like that's the number one thing they can kind of get not get wrong, but you could be like, no, not for me. And then, you know, turns you off and we have so many restaurants and Brooklyn Italian restaurants. Once one place you go, they have a bit experience, like I'll go to the next one. I don't got to, you know, keep going back, you know, especially if you want to try the mountain stuff like that, but never order the pasta. Now, what's the, I mean, in your opinion of what you've heard, what's the, and then let's just say your area, what's the best Italian restaurant where it's still mom and pop. $1 a week to someone to jail. The fucking you go there and they still give you bread with butter, you know, just that old field, you still feel that anywhere by you. There's definitely a couple that stick out to me. We actually just went to orthobello the other day. It's this little little restaurant on the corner, you go in there and you're like, this is old school Italian small place. Every, you know, the weight is it there. The own is there right on top of you got the bread and butter. Everything was delicious there. Michaels of Brooklyn was another place that we absolutely love. Brooklyn Roots is another place there more like old school. They have the big portions, you know, family style, you know, run, you know, these all run by families and stuff. But every Italian restaurant has a different vibe. Who wants to be a little bit more upscale? Who wants to be moved that homey vibe, you know, with the big portions and stuff like that. But those are definitely, you know, some of our favorites. But when I go out, I never want Italian. I always, you know, we're going to Chinese restaurant. That's what that's where we go, you know, the only Italian dish I crave on a regular. And then it goes away from that I crave and then I break down and I go somewhere I don't not supposed to go, but just eat it and that's lasagna. I still like a nice piece of lasagna the next day after collage and it settles and you put a little sausage in there too. There's something about that shit and when I was growing up, that's what you made on Thanksgiving. That's where the Italian people made with everything else. But I would go, I don't know, Turkey, lasagna. I'm moving over to the fucking lasagna because that she was and they put the extra sauce on it with a couple pieces of sausage. Stop it. Stop it. And you start hogging up to that pillow. You start grabbing that pillow real hard. It's the best giant game I've ever watched. Do you like do that? Does everyone make you cook on Thanksgiving or do you like to do it? It's 50 50. I always help out my mother still host most of the time on my mother and law. So I always do the side dishes, but you know, they got cooking in their blood too. So then I'm ready to let go of the reins over there. Do they make fun of you for social media? They're like, I'll miss chef now. No, my mother's like, oh, you're making me look bad, you know? and nothing good over here. I'm like, "All right, listen, it's okay." - You cook every day. - Listen, I usually cook door in the day, like buy myself from them at home, but by the night time I'm like, "Listen, go out. "Go out or something like the kitchen's clean, "the kitchen's closed." But for the most part, I do cook, you know? Like sometimes you order this takeout, it's like, "Shit, anyway." And I was like, "I was better off cooking myself, you know?" But I'm up for the most part every day, yeah. - Yeah. - You know, it's crazy that this area is just a fucking king. Like you could say whatever the fuck you want, when dummy, this, that, this, that. But at the end of the day, what you have here is a fucking, and some of it is really bad, and some of it is really good, but it's not. They all gotta be in a certain area because you're selling slices of shit. - Yeah. - So if your slice is shitty, you're not gonna last that long. - 100%. - 100%. Yeah, I'll last that long. And look at how, like, I don't know, you're from Brooklyn. Did you ever eat Spanish food, Bronner? - I mean, probably when I was older, and like I wanted to like, try new things. My parents were cooking nothing, you know? - No. - Once in a while, my aunt's put a weekend she would make her rice and perneal. Like, that was like on a holiday, you know? And I was like, "Oh, give me a tub of where that. We don't get that at home." - No, you know what I mean? - No, that's good, yeah. - Yeah, that's good shit. - But yeah, not, you know, my mother wasn't cooking. My mother was cooking Italian, a couple of recipes. She got out of the family magazine, you know? Metacana, taco ring, this and that, you know? But my mother's, even though my mother, my mother's first generation, and the way she wanted to raise us, like what her parents was, be proud to be American, you know what I mean? - Yeah, absolutely. - They were always, you know, trying to teach, they didn't speak Italian. They wanted them to speak English, not Italian. So my mother regrets us growing up, she didn't teach us Italian. But to them, it was like, we're here now. We're gonna speak English, you know? It's all like that. So even though we're Italian, she's still American, you know what I mean? - She's still to make craft macaroni and cheese. - No, no, we didn't do crap. Maybe there was a box in the pantry that was on sale for, you know, my father was like, oh, for desperate times, we'll keep it. And then he made it himself when he was home by himself, you know? - Can you see, correct? You know what, your mom wasn't even allowed to look at that shit? - Yeah. - But my mother wasn't allowed to look at that shit, you know? My mom would not allow fucking mac and cheese. I didn't like it. And then the Italians around me were like, not the million fucking years. So I was like, okay, they don't even like it. It's bullshit. - What's like the biggest, like, what would upset you the most? I'm thinking of like, you know that shaky, like Italian Parmesan cheese. - Oh, the Greek. - It's more shabby. - Yeah. - Yeah, like is that allowed? Like what would piss you off? What would piss your mom off the most? - Oh, come on, you can't, that's not cheese. (laughing) - No, it's, it tastes good, but yeah. - I don't know how to say something to my wife. She's from Tennessee. She kept buying that shit, how to pull her ass out of this. - Yeah, we got to Jersey, don't you go, "Why made a mistake, no, no, no." Listen, they know mistakes when it comes to that crap cheese, 'cause that is, it's like crap. - It's more shaving. - Yes, it's terrible. - It's not even the refrigerator section. So what, you know, it's on the shelf next, right next to the dry pasta, you know? That's not cheese, you know? - Do you ever do anything to piss your mom off? Like you bring something home? - No. - Like frozen pizza? - No, she's not that crazy, like, yeah, no. I mean, like, you know, what I'm beginning to say, "Oh, God, so listen, she has a secret stash "of the God, so as God for pizza night." Like, "Oh, you don't want to make the whole sauce." But there's different levels to the, the God sauce, you know what I mean? - She's not bragging, what's that raggo? - Right, no, no, you're not going to rag. This kid in college is trying to insult me by saying, "Yo, your mother uses raggo." (laughing) Yeah, like, we're trying to rile me up, you know? - That's a broken insult. - Yeah. (laughing) I'm a long island, you know? It's trying to get me riled up on a bad night over there. The mother uses raggo. (laughing) - You know what I'm saying? - Yeah. (laughing) - That's like what shows never made a piece of top food out. (laughing) - Yeah. - That's what I mean. What do you think about, like, the, 'cause one of the Joey's least favorite things is people waiting in line. So like, in Brooklyn, they have a couple of pizza places that are like, take talk famous and use, but like, wait hours in line. What do you though, or is it just any pizza place? It's fine. - I don't go. - Listen, my local pizzeria is crispy pizzeria. You might have seen them, they're viral now, social media, and good for them. God bless them. - Well, crispy pizzeria. - Crispy pizzeria. - And they're on the corner and they're in Old Bridge. - And they're freehold. - And their place is crazy out there too, but lines here. - Old Bridge, it's a fucking zoo. - Yeah. - It's my favorite fucking pizza. - Well, my hands down, hands down. - They do something. - Yes. - Like, the brother's really good looking - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - With the black hair, and then that's his brother in Old Bridge. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And that burnt down. - I had to go to freehold and they were all over there. - Oh my god. - And you know what I'm like about them? They got so many different types of pizza. - Yes. - So you get one cheese to keep everybody happy. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? I got to plain cheese because the cheese ain't gonna be good. What the fuck am I wasting my time with all this other shit? - A hundred percent. - And they have like a ninth avenue. - 13th avenue. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. So it's like, you like the square or the regular? - The square. - Okay, yeah. - Yeah. - Oh my god. - The sauce is just like chunky and has like the caramelized onions I think. And like the sauce is so different with the little scallops that I got the right. They were got them. Oh my god. It's real. - That's a good one. - And I would go, let me tell you something. I would go when I first moved from California, I was a fucking guy. - Yeah. - I'd go in there like without my wife and daughter and I get two cheeses, one 13th Ave, two fucking meat pies. - Meat pies. - Like why would I eat the meat pies? - So you're making meat pies? - Yeah. - Oh shit. - You're making beef patting it. - So I mean, I'm a fat fox. So when I'm eating the pizza, the meat pies are cooking. By the time the pizza's over, you know like when you're finishing like what else? He's coming in with the two fucking meat pies. And I would drink as much fucking Coke Zero with ice as I could like that. - They're the best. - And I get pissed now because, listen, God bless them. I'm happy for them that they're doing so well. But now we gotta do drivebys and see, because if there's a crazy line, we're not waiting in the line. Then on a Friday night, you try to call up, you're not getting delivered. - You're done. - You're not getting nothing. So like, oh, when we were out of Mesquite, we got to wait for the middle of the week, you know. Because their wings too, underrated, they have great wings there. Their food, their food. - If I tell you what I get from them. - Yeah. - The potato and egg sandwich with a couple fucking peppers on there. - Oh, I never tried that from them. - Fucking, I tell 'em burn the potatoes. Oh, my God. I love all that shit. I fucking love it. - They got the quality. I say they got the quality. - Yeah, they do. - They got the consistency. Every time you go, you get in the same thing. - Always, always. - And they got the selection. You know. - And they're fucking nice. - Yes. 100%. - Those guys treat my wife like she's the fucking queen of our beat. - Yeah. - My wife puts an order in and she'll come back and go, Joey, you should've seen it tonight. It was jam, but I went to the side, they called me over. He didn't even take my money next time. It was too busy. Like their family. He told me, I'll deliver to the house. - Oh, yeah. - Come up here at night. I'll deliver. - Good guys. - I'm just ashamed. You know, I'm like, you know what I'm saying? Like fucking. - Yeah. - I can't deal with it no more than I send my husband. I'm like, the line. No, I can't. It's wild. It's good for them. But like holy shit. Now, they have pizzeria in Brooklyn is by the daikah Christmas lights. People, everyone's coming now. The big Christmas. Have you ever heard of the daikah Heights Christmas? - Yeah, yeah. - So it's fun. - And neighborhood, like with the lights. - Yeah. - So that's like, if you're coming there to see the lights, you're going to crispy. Even though it's a couple blocks over, you know. So that's it. Christmas season is fucking out when I get in no pizza, you know, but good. I guess it's a good problem to have. - I just went. We didn't get it this time. You know, I grew up on pizza. Ever since I moved back, if I got a pizza slice, two a month, like if I eat mushrooms. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - As you put the mushrooms in the crease, you can't taste them with the cheese, fucking delicious. But wasn't the fucking say to you? You know, every place has like, I went to Philly last time, and they had the tomato pie, but it was Calabrian chili sauce. - Okay. - Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. You know, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. the flavor and the heat all together. When I was shooting a movie and we shot in all different locations in Brooklyn and they would bring pizza from the neighborhood. And I can't, you know, they were all fucking good. I'm not one of those guys who's going to go, "Well, this one I took much tomato to. What are you, a pizza bag of that? Just get the fuck out." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like, "Well, I went there and I didn't give a fuck." Yeah. And then in California, go out there for a month. It's right. And then come back here and tell me, "Well, I had a little bit too much sauce for my liking. How about I fucking stab you the neck?" At least it was a fucking Italian making you a fucking pie. His name is Julio, but that's for ice purposes. You know what I'm saying? He's Giovanni today. So what's the other, I mean, Ellen B, right? What is it? Ellen B, this square, of course, you know what I mean? But Chris, each place, like, there's a place Nino's on Thursday. I have, you know, their grandma slice. It's one of the best grandma's. It's paper thin. You know, you used to live down by that down by there. So we always get that. But you know, who else? That what is it? Mr. Phil's on Nutric Danube. Very good plane. You know, slice running there. Well, yeah. I'm trying to think. Those are some of the top ones, but crispy, man. You know, crispy. Yeah. All right. Now I just is going to crispy goes up for some. some reason I can't eat that many pizza slice for you know, but now I just go right for the fucking facility. - Yeah. - A nice piece of Sicilian, that's such a, you know, it's like, I don't know about you, you regress in Italian food. Like that's a good thing about Italian food. Same thing with Chinese food. Why any culture for that matter? But, you know, I could go to the same Italian place every day and it's weird how you get hot on something and then you get cold on some. You know what, I'm gonna get the tomato and mozzarella sandwich. You do that for like three weeks, that gets boring. And then you go, you know what, let me try the ravioli and then fuck the ravioli and put all shit. And now you're back on that and then, you know, and it's so weird, like I go back and forth on it. - Yeah, honestly, even from crispy, one of my favorite slices, believe it or not, is they are chicken balsamic slice and it's a salad slice. You start off with that, you feel good about yourself, then you move to the spicy game. People like, oh, salad on pizza. No, they do it a certain way, man. That I'm always getting that, you know, what, that's the first slice we wash it out, you know, to start with. But, yeah, no, but then like, you know, after a while you're like, I want this, then the same thing, you switch it up, you know? - It's 2019 and I'm back here shooting a movie. - Yeah. - And we were shooting Brooklyn on the days off. I was in New York City and I'd walk around and I had a gym I went to. And one day I go to this gym and I was like, fucking, I'm tired, I don't have to work tonight. I'm just gonna walk home and maybe get so fierce. You've been catching, you've been catching. I cross the street and I look in this pizza place. And they had something I had never seen before. 'Cause like, again, I hadn't been coming here that often. They had a beautiful cheese slice with an inch of money, got on top and cheese. And I remember just, I ate it for him. Thank you. - He said, he didn't use the text pictures. - Yeah, he just texted me and he's like, look at this. - Look at that, he kept like salivating. I can hear him texting like Paul's and shit. - You have no idea how much of anything Ricotta I love. But you made something, I don't think you made, you made pasta salad with Ravioli. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - And he actually got, that was one of the first things, one of the first times I had rate with him and he got, he's still mad about it today. We went to a place called Rudy's, which is an Italian place here. It's the first time I went there. It's apparently known for seafood, but I was 20 something, 22. And I wanted to be, I don't want to get the most expensive thing. But then be, if you give me cheese Ravioli, I could eat, you know those butony things that's like a whole plastic, like it's like in the actual refrigerated section. - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. - With the green, I used to just, when I was 300 pounds, I would just take the whole, like pour the whole thing and eat it. Give me Ravioli and you'll never hear from me again. - So the fact that you made Ravioli pasta salad. - Yeah. - If I would have known, I would have brought a few. - Thank God for you didn't, cutting you all of it. Next time, next time. - Do any Italians get mad at you for this stuff or no? - Some people, you know, there's always gonna be someone who has a stupid comment, you know what I mean? - Right. - But I'm like. - Do they get mad at you? - Do they get mad at you because you're being progressive with the recipe? - Yeah, it's not authentic. What are you doing using this and that? - Not right here. - What are you, what? If I'm going through your page and I see something else, then I think I won't talk to you for a week, you know. I'm one of those partners. (laughing) I just pissed off of people for the dumbest shit, you know. - That's all good though. Everyone's entitled to, you know what I mean? - But I love, like, listen, I love food. So sometimes I don't know what to eat. And I'm just gonna let Instagram and get a real, that's food and I'll just spin it and something will happen. Like you're like, holy shit, I'm, maybe I should go to an Arabian restaurant. That little choppy belly dancers there. I haven't seen them lately, the choppy guy. - There's a choppy guy dancing? - An Arab dude that, oh, I haven't seen that. - A little restaurant. - No, on the street. - Oh. - We're like a platter of fuckers. - Oh, I've seen that guy. - He's huge. - He's huge. - Yeah. - He's got like a stomach and he makes a wiggle. He does like a wiggle dance. - It's thinner in the neighborhood here. What are you talking about? - No, no, on Instagram. - Oh, I thought like there's some guy around here. - Yeah. - Everybody's cooking on Instagram. - Yeah, of course. - Yeah. - They're all cooking something. - Yeah. - Some is garbage. You know, some is limited. Maybe 110 grams of protein. I got abuse college cheese. You lost. You fucking lost. Are you alright? I ain't eating. No, if I don't eat protein, that fucking bad. We can eat fucking steak, support chops. That's what I'm going to move forward. That's another thing. I don't eat a lot. - No chops. - With cherry peppers and you stuff it a little something. The problem is I got these restaurants, and they give you a fucking, you know, they give you a woman's fucking calf, they give you a, and you're like, what the fuck do I do with this? And it's stuffed with fucking shit, and, you know, and the pat, you know, I love all that stuff. But again, it's not something I could eat anymore. - Yeah, yeah. - The peppers, I stay up. I have dreams. - I ate something. God, what the fuck, oh, a couple weeks ago, I ate a steak like 11 o'clock at night. I was dreaming. I was a cowboy like I was watching fucking that show with the cost of this shit in Montana. I woke up the next 10, I was riding the horse, my back hurts and shit in my dreams. Who made you a steak at 11 o'clock at night? - Astoria. - Oh, you went to a restaurant. I just called them up. I go, he's just still open and he goes, yeah, what do you need? I go throw me a 20 ounce New York strip. - Damn. - With a garlic clove, not half a little, no, no, no, no, no, I like baked potatoes. They're upscale Italian. You know, they say Russell, you know what I'm saying, the same, even though I love a baked potato, don't get me wrong, but I always get the half a season salad. - Okay. - A steak with salad, about a couple of spoons and mashed potatoes, keep everybody embellished. - But you would have, I don't imagine you doing that at 11 o'clock at night. - Don't, me neither. When you get real high, what happened is I take the addables to six. I wanted to activate it eight and they don't. I forced myself to eat, but then they activated at 10.30. I mean, awful and there's a God. And I go upstairs and she's got like, intimate cake, I ain't eating that shit, I ain't eating that shit. It tastes like dick. - Oh yeah. - All the things I grew up on that used to be fucking sensational and you can't eat them. I don't even know what chemicals are bad, but I look at it now, and if I see a couple glockle meetings and shit, I'm out, now I'm eating that stuff. My white, white yodels, I go, dog, this is like eating cancer. But that's a stickic fucking cancer, yodels now. She brought them their first godhead, brought them through to the fuck away. So I've been a lot cleaner about food like this is the shit, but if you keep eating, you know, this whole fucking country is concerned about fast food, everybody. Some of this fast, I just read the fucking best protein fast food is the Chinese joint. Panda. - Panda Express. - Panda Express. - The chicken teriyaki. That's the highest protein dish you get on fucking food. I'd never even think of Panda Express. - I love Panda Express. - I think I creep people work on that. It's always like, you know, when you go to Chinese restaurant, there's Chinese people. When you go to Panda Express, I don't know what they're like, they're like in a different Asian country. Like they're not from Taiwan, China, Japan, they're like those people in that move with a Clint Eastwood, with a Zadie, they're most Filipino or something. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, one with a mongol or whatever. Fuck yeah, mongolians, they're like mongols or something like that. I don't know what the fuck they are. Oh my God. You said you said that you and your husband used to like to watch Joey and I. Yeah. Was any of this at all marijuana and like infused? I am BC before children. Oh, yeah. No, nothing now. Yeah, no. Some of the stuff you make looks like you marijuana has to be involved somewhere. I got a creative mind. What do you want me to tell you? That's amazing. You do it sober. That's even more impressive because like some of the stuff you invented. It's like this is someone's high doing this. You're like a chicken marsala or a chini. Oh, that was good though. Yeah, I love chicken marsala. Yeah. I never thought about deep frying it. That's fine. Yeah. That's a different texture. Yeah. I did Marsala eggplant roll a teeny before. No, oh, you were like that because it's got the regardless. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And listen, going back to saying how like everything tastes like shit now it does. So like when I cook myself like, okay, quote unquote, it's not the healthiest. But I'm like, you know what's going in there? Like I just made a crumb cake, you know? When you eat estimates, crumb cake now tastes like shit. Just like you said. So I made them like, is it the best? No, I'm not going to say he needs the whole thing. But at least you know what you're putting in there. But yeah, every, yeah. Eggplant roll a teeny Marsala. Does your husband ever get like is he ever on a diet? And you know, he's like, you want to start putting in the shit? He got so pissed recently because now like it's a holiday season. So I'm cooking a lot of like baked goods and stuff like that. He's like, what the hell? I was doing so good. And I said, well, you got to get it out the house because I can't eat it. Bring it to work something because yeah. And that's another reason I don't cook huge portions. Because if that shit's in the house, you're going to eat it. Oh my god. You know, yeah. How you couldn't stop me from eating it. I would, I would tell you I'd bring it into the office. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just eating in the car myself. Oh my god. Because like I, my favorite apartment ever was in the north end of Boston, which is like in the Italian section. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I had never had a steak and cheese with tomato with red sauce on it. Oh wow. That shit's fucking, I never had that yet. Oh, Italian food is like, I don't know. It's like, I think it's like the fat man heaven. Like I can't even, there's nothing. there's nothing when you're fat there's nothing you want more than something like that. But you know what, you know what does bother me? And we've talked about it. It's like, I'm done with chicken parm. I love it. Chicken parm is great. But it's the same everywhere. It's kind of boring. Yeah. Like is there anything that's like your sick of? You know, you use a fra, the hablo sauce on the chicken parm. Oh, that would be great. Yeah. Or somebody uses something. It may not be fra, the hablo, but it's your vodka or a vodka sauce. I'm going to say, a vodka with a little spice. Yeah. Yeah. Spicy vodka, spicy vodka. Something's not bad. Not bad at all, man. Anything, anything boring to you. You're like, if someone's like, hey, you want to come over and have penny or like what, what, what, what do you? Same thing. The pasta, you know, I don't want no plain pasta. But chicken parm is a safe meal. If you go somewhere, you're not too sure. I don't know how this is. I don't know that. I see me that chicken parm. That's like the safe meal without ordering the pasta because we know the pasta, you know. Oh, but that pisses me off. Yeah. If I get chicken parm and there's no, it doesn't come with pasta. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause they need a little something. You need something. Yeah. Okay. A little bit of sauce on the pasta. Not a lot. No. Yeah. Just a little squirt of sauce. Make it up nice. Yeah. If you want brown and cheese and shit, very, you know, again, I'm way old in anybody in this fucking room. And when I was growing up, and I go to a tiny person's house, they always offered you something to drink. But come on, they didn't even offer you nothing to drink. You hungry. You hungry? Don't ask him if he's fucking hungry. Just give him a dish, you know. And everybody gave you big money. They made it on Sunday. And they put in a fucking tub of fucking tub away. Yeah. Yeah. And your mom froze half of it. And she put the other. I didn't even think about freezing it dog geniuses in town. So sometimes you go over to like you hungry. And you're like, again, like, well, it's frozen. I got to take 20 minutes. But you know what? I got nice co cuts and olives and shit. You know, like, what the fuck? I came over here for a midnight snack. Look at me. Exactly. Oh, come on. Fucking for real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's got a stash in the freezer. Oh, but you never know. It's big. Yeah. You don't need no. Just put in the microwave oven at two in the morning when you get home. Let me tell you some. That thing starts wiggling. Like the thing from the little rascals. Oh, my God. And you take one fork. Like, when I see, I don't fuck around. Okay. When I see, I'm in Rome. I eat one piece of the time. I put the fork in one hole. Watch me. See you. Thanks. Don't fucking hours. I fucking love Zee. Oh my God. Cause like, I grew up. I don't know if any of you guys watched it. They just had the 30th anniversary reunion of everybody loves Raymond. Which is like, it's a silly sitcom. But to me, like Marie and that is like, I don't know. I just, that's like, when I think about New York Italian, that's what I think of. And I like, was your grandma involved at all? Like was she around? She was around. She unfortunately passed away and was youngest. So I never got to experience her as like an adult. Yeah. But yeah, like, I remember going into her the basement, you know? And it just had that smell of like that cell of basement smell, you know? And she would try to be like, you know, cool and make us the pizzas on the English muffins. Yeah. That was the Italian grandma. Yeah. And so I've been looking the whole end. I'm not. Do you cook with nails like that? I do. I do. Sometimes they're a little bit shorter, but yeah, that's crazy. You got to put on a little gloves if you're dealing with the meat. It doesn't come through. Oh, they 100% Joe. Oh yeah. You believe in nail and the meatloaf? Your husband is shocked. Thank God. No, that's never happened before. Speaking of these speakers, Korean lady, you put the nails on there. I mean, the red nail across the room. Oh, man. What about, do you ever, like, I've always thought, like, if you ever get pissed off at your husband, do you mess up on purpose or cook something he hates? No, no, no. If I just told him in other ways, like, you know, everything you cook, he pretty much enjoys. Yeah. Sometimes like no allergies, no legit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Lager some manel sauce. Thank God. No, we're pretty good. But uh, yeah, no, for the most part, whatever I make, you know, he has to say too, he does a little cooking. So, you know, I'll give him a little credit there. But yeah, not everything, you know, you let him in the kitchen. I'm so glad. Yeah. If you want to go, go, do me the favor of like, you know, I thought you'd be like, get the fuck you do the dishes. Well, it depends on the meal. If it's something that like, I know I can handle and he may be a little shaky, I'm like, I try to become, you know, okay. Okay. You know, over the shoulder, you know, start sweating. And then I'm like, stop controlling everything over here. But you seem nice, but like, I feel like you could like throw down if you wanted to. Oh, yeah. I'm the evil one in the house. Yeah, he's Mr. Nice guy. I'm the assistant lift downstairs. That's always a fucking part. That's always a party. I mean, I don't even need to be there. I just, I just know that style. There's y'all in there. Yeah. My mother's 10 minutes away. She comes over. I'm cleaning the basement. What are you doing? I'm like, why are you here? Yeah. How's the, are you knowing? Oh, yeah. Yeah. This is real tight family shape. You can't leave. But you can go to your mom and go, you know what? I'm thinking I'm moving to California. It's not even in your DNA. I did that during, during my college years. They make fun of me. I was fine to myself. I was a fine myself. I just went. We went. Where'd you go? I went to Italy. Okay. Because I studied abroad when I was in school then, then after I graduated, I had my degree in teaching. So I was like, oh, I'll go teach English, you know, BSL, whatever. I was like, no, English is the second language teacher, you know. And I go there and look at for jobs. I go four hours an hour. You're illegal there. And I was like, oh, shit. I didn't think of, I need to work in papers. I thought I was going there and getting a job. So that's in a workout. I was there for like two, three months. Yeah. And then I went to Thailand for a month to teach English too. And now, and now as an adult, I'm like, why did I do? First of all, God bless my parents. But now that I have a kid, I'm like, you think you're like, where do you think you're going? We're absolutely not. Fuck yeah. Yeah, but it was cool. That's nice. Yeah. It's the experiment. At least you got out. Yeah. There's most people from Brooklyn that don't leave the fucking neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah. And they stay there till mom. Real quick, I got to take a breather. I got to talk about some things, toothpicks, you know, love all this stuff tonight. Nicotine toothpicks. Who's better than you? What's next? I should have to think about what are they going to put in toothpicks next? Anyway, we'll be right back. Stay put. Hey, Uncle Joe, we're here. Listen, satisfy your nicotine craving anytime, any place with zippx toothpicks. Listen, zippx toothpicks are nicotine and flavor infused. You could try the sweet whiskey like this one, peppermint, watermelon or mocha available. We need a two or three milligrams of nicotine zippus less. You pick how much kick you want. Listen, I love this little one right here. You're popping in your mouth with a cup of coffee. 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I guarantee when to stand across the door, you'll have mom in a 69. So visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And I want to thank blue chew for believing in the show and for sponsoring the show. Happy holidays. We're back Jack. want to talk to you about something because I'm we're very old school. I'm probably a parent's age. How strong, how fucking crazy is this that? The way we Chinese. You know, yeah, that was just watching in the afternoon. I don't know if you guys know this, every day, the Godfather one is on and Godfather two is on. And for two minutes a day, I get sucked in. I don't see what part is on, you know, if it's something coming. And the other day I turned it on, it's when they're going to go shoot the police chief and so on. So, and he has six Italian guys at the table, you know, fucking old school Italian. And they got open containers everywhere, training these food. And I'm like, wow, what the fuck? You know, all the, you know, Christians have a two Italians who are a little bit more racist. So, those Chinese motherfuckers, you know, but they make a good fried rice. But it's like, I'm Cuban, you know, George Panamanian, Nick's Italian, Lee's Jewish, how much of an influence does Chinese food have in you? Do you think about it? Listen, it's something I could never recreate perfectly. Like not even close to it. So, of course, it's going to be one of those things that you're like, holy shit, like, I'm on Chinese food. I will say the number one restaurant that we go to the most in my neighborhood, Red Ball Chinese restaurant, 86 or 3rd Avenue, shout out to them. My daughter's favorite place. Best Chinese food. It's fucking great. Like, nothing beats it. What was the name of the place that you ate out as a child? Like your mom went to one place to wing farms. Yeah. Yeah. Sash, Sash want the light wing farms, Sash wants the light. Yeah. But you never, that Red Bull is a place we go, you go there and eat. But growing up as a kid, it was always take out. You know, you had it in the house. I would always do the ordering too. Woke around with a little note pad, you know, write it down. All right. I had the money. We put it by the radiator when the guy came to the door. You know, yeah. My mother loved Chinese food. Yeah. And you know, you got, when you're a kid, you can't say, "Why really want a hamburger?" I am. She just fucking backhand you in those days. Well, let me ask you guys, because I've never heard this before, and I don't agree with it. But something going around now is like right now is apparently Chinese food season. Like you're allowed to get it when it's cold, but like you're not allowed to eat Chinese food in the summer. Like is now Chinese food season or what do you eat Chinese food be around? Look at your face. You fucking white kids. No, no, listen, I got it. I know, but Roder babe, she saw it at it, and I get it to an extent because let me ask you this, okay? Imagine it's August 13th. You're sitting there. It's hot as balls out, right? Sometimes I don't even feel like it's a little too heavy for a hot day like that to be having like that greasy, heavy Chinese. What do I know? Stake on a stick. Oh, you know, like you're fine. Okay, you're fine. One in doubt. One in doubt. Yeah. You're sticking on a stick and can a Coca-Cola and call me in five minutes. Yeah. That's when you used to take them, talk to the Chinese guy. He'd have them in the back. You hear like an animal make a screech. Yeah. And also he came out with smoking shit. You went three steaks on a stick. Yeah. When you broke as a comedian. Yeah. Yeah. I knew 93. I came back and do coming. I knew protein, you know, things got bad. You got the stick as a sword. Whatever the fuck I mean, but that, you know, Chinese has everything. Listen, I'm not going to go on on the August day and get a drop soup, the big bowl and a fucking Friday roll, but they have light. You know what I love in the summer? Like that lettuce with the with the Chinese dressing and some long times in it. The chicken and stuff. The you like that. My wife always got to say chicken. You like chicken. I like chicken, but what else is lettuce in Chinese? Chinese chicken, Chinese chicken, like fork, fork fried rice. When I eat it, I know there's something that I shouldn't be. Some type of animal is a lizard. There's got to be some in there, but you don't think about it. Even though you know, you've gone to pick up food one time. You saw a mouse jump on top of a bird. You know, the pigeon, a pigeon population Brooklyn is greatly declined. Where the pigeons go? He's been, I mean, I love dumplings and he's been torturing for me for years that people make those cats. You grew up in Brooklyn. Oh, shit. Do they do that? Don't tell me they do that. It's maybe a joke, but I don't think they're cooking cats out there. I don't think they are. I don't want to think about it or know about it. No, me either. You're very intelligent when it comes to the kitchen and in life, but you ever taste something. It doesn't taste right now. When you eat a dumpling, you're eating it in the rush. You don't put up with something. You never really ask yourself to question what exactly is in that dumpling. Well, I tell you it's pork. Okay. So it's a hot dog. Right. When you get an all beef hot dog, it's like 82% beef. They got like a bone in there. That's where they get the flavor from. Like they just got shit in it. It's not going to kill you, but it ain't bad for you. And that's what I feel with dumpling. I don't know what it is. It's not a chicken. It's not a piece of fish. It's not meat. So we eat it and we just eat it and we trust it. We can't think about it. No. So I think it's the leftovers from the chicken. They just put it in a fucking blender and a little something that I've been doing for 2,000 years. We're in there fucking eating it. Like it's ravioli. It's some poor cats eyeballs and shit and some fucking chicken hoaps and shit. I'm not saying nothing bad about nobody. When people got to make a living, it's tough out there for a prep. So you're going to look with the food prices in shit right now. You better watch what the fuck you're reading. When you see fucking halal meat on 42nd Street on the street, three little dudes looking around. Like they could be selling halal or they could be making a bomb in that little fucking place. Okay. So please look at fucking it's expensive. Yeah. You can't get away with 99 cent burgers no more. That shit. Those days are done. So if you see a 99 cent burger, you'd better have alcohol, salsa. Or brioche or fucking. Yeah. Yeah. And you got to be really careful with food prices how they are. So I'm not saying nothing bad about Chinese. I eat Chinese food once a fucking week, even if I don't want it. Because sunny like every Sunday night. Really? Yeah. Last night we had Japanese. We had a some poor roll and fucking had beef. My wife didn't tell him to do it well done. So it came gooey. Whatever the fuck. I still ate it because I was hungry as a motherfucker. On Sunday nights is the plan. We sit at about seven fuck football and shit. We watch Landman. And then in between Landman and they we go get Chinese food. The voward. I smoke some dope. And then we watch Mara Kingston and it's 10 o'clock. See the small detail. I do miss that. Like did your family ever do something like just a like a weekly tradition like yeah, fucking a meal in a show. That was that was everything growing up. I feel like there was always like, you know, Sunday we had our Italian food. But we would look forward to the Chinese food. You know, if we got crazy, my mother finally splurged for the pizza because you know, you make your own pizza, you know, and stuff like that. But yeah, I mean, nothing like weekly, like set on the calendar there. But of course, you know, you don't know. So it's always it's lingering. Yeah. I would always make I always I came from the time when it was 499 for a soup. A soup, a soup, a thing of noodles, a egg roll, a fucking entree. The combination platter. Yeah. Yeah, 95 with a can of coke, you know, yeah, now try to get that. Okay. So the fuck yeah, one special is a $27. I still try to get one one special week. You know, my blood is fucking shrimp and lobster sauce. That's my shit. If it's made good with the pork, yeah, you throw it on the pork fried rice and you stare it in. Yeah. It's like eating rice with egg and fucking the place I go. They're from Staten Island. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. It's not I don't go to Staten Island. Yeah. But they have one at Crown Palace. Okay. All right. And they make fucking big prawns and that mother fucking you cut the oh my god, you eat that and you get the pork from the lobster thing and you get the pork from the pork fried rice. Tremendous. Yeah. This is Independence Day. When we get out of here, there's going to be Martians and shit fucking. I don't I hope I don't think they'll be able to hear. Hopefully not we'll find out what your Chinese took go to right now before, you know. So this place Red Bull, they make a crispy, honey beef. And it's like thin strips of beef that it's like kind of has like a general towel, flavoured to it. But it's nice. It's nice. Or even just like classic chicken and broccoli when it's done right. And it's not like slimy and weird. Nice, you know, pork fried rice and egg roll, maybe a little wonton soup, you know. Yeah, man. I've omitted the soup lately. Uh-huh. No. Yeah, lately just I don't want to fucking my wife bring in the fucking car. It's all soup in the car. It's soup because it might spill. Now the fucking car smells like I drop soup. So forget it. Those soup in the fucking car. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you got to take food to go. - The fuck? - The old book game four stars that night. The old book driver, an Arab guy gave him one stop. He stunk worse than the old booker. - No, no, no, it was my food. - They got me fucked up. We ate everything in this place, and I was still fucking hungry, and they found a gyro place, and I'm fat and I'm Jewish, and there was leftovers. I took it home. - Yeah. - And like, apparently there's no, you get to go food, right? - Of course, yeah. - Yeah, you're gonna, you wouldn't get to throw it away. You throw it away? - I was. - Listen. - The less depulations there for me. - No, listen. There's no, I've, one time I-- - What was that you brought home? - The gyro and the gyro. They were like to meet. It was like, but like, listen, this is how fat I am. My ex and I, we went to Philly for the weekend. We got so much food at the market, we bought a cooler for the drive home. (laughing) And like, I gotta be honest, I have, I don't know much about Brooklyn. - Okay. - Because like, to me, Philly is like Italian, fat guy heaven. Like Philly, but like Brooklyn-- - Got a Brooklyn jacket. - I need to, I need, for people, 'cause people come in to me, especially right around this time of year, people come to the New York. If you wanna go to Brooklyn, like, where's your like day and best day in Brooklyn food wise? Do you have anything? - Listen, I'm always gonna be my neighborhood. I don't venture out too much 'cause a lot, not that I don't venture out, but like a lot of these neighborhoods, you got all the transplants now. There's so much gentrification that likes-- - Sorry. - Yeah, no, listen, it's different. So I stick to the neighborhood spots that I have known that have been there for a while, still doing that thing, because you go, you know, go to Williamsburg, oh, there's gastropob with this now. Not for me, with two different breeds and that's okay. You know, but, so come to my neighborhood. You go to Christmas, I got some Italian restaurants, you wanna go see the lights, you can stand there like a doon-do-loon with everyone else, 'cause now-- - A doon-do-loon. - It's insane. It's insane the lights over there. They bring them in by the bus load. You could take a tour. Why don't you just start selling some food out there? - They got food trucks now. We're on the avenue, the people complaining. People are hopping, people's fences to go piss in their driveway, 'cause there's no bathrooms now. Yeah, it's wild. It's wild. - That's crazy. - Yeah. Yeah, listen, the local Facebook page for Dyke Heights, you have to hear these people going off and I get it, because if you live on that block, like those blocks, you can't get in your house. Like you're standing on your block in your car, like over an hour, just because there's so many tourists now looking at these houses. You know, when I've been going there since I was a kid, we have pictures like, these are the people dressed up in costumes, you take pictures with them, like the little characters and stuff. But now, like, I go in my door before it even gets dark because you can't even freaking go near there. It's insane. It's insane. - I've never had a problem with it with Italians, Italians, and Jews always get along. - Oh yeah, yeah. - What would happen if a Jew tried to move in the dyker without the problem? - Ah, no, you're fine. It's all mixed now. It doesn't even matter. - Yeah, I don't know, man. - But even with like, 'cause we're not gonna put up lights. - No, you got a couple of me's that I was on the block then I'll put up the lights. - Oh yeah. - Yeah. - You like those houses, don't you? - Yeah, listen, people, I get it. People, you know, 'cause people don't have any respect nowadays. Some of these people are calm, you know. Imagine you're in your house and you see this person pissing in your driveway, taking a shit in your driveway. You might say next year I'm not putting up one goddamn light because of that. - What would you do, Joe, if someone pissed in your driveway? - I mean, honestly. - I blow towards your food truck. (laughing) - Every time somebody fucking pissing in my driveway and that's how you get that in. - No, last year, someone put a porta potty and they were charging $3 a person to go in. - Oh yeah. - And they got in trouble, but that was-- - They got in trouble, that's-- - They give them respect the hustle, but, you know-- - Yeah, no, American ingenuity. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Somebody ratted on them. - Yeah, of course, that's what it was. - That's what it was. - That's fucked up, that's-- - You know, but that prevented the driveway nonsense, yeah. - Oh my God. - Oh my God, we had a video once when I was living at home. - Some woman went into her driveway, my parents caught up selling the driveway. She pulled out her pants, she took a shit in her driveway. - Yeah, I remember, that was like one of the first TikToks I ever posted years ago and I got taken down. I was like, this is pure gold over here, someone just shitting in my driveway. She left her shopping cart right in front and went in and pulled down at me and she shit in my driveway. I don't know why I'm sharing the story, but yeah. - It's crazy. - It's really crazy. - Yeah. - That wouldn't happen 30 years ago. - No. - Somebody takes a shit on your street in Brooklyn. - No, yeah. - It's crazy. Now there's, you know, there's all these sections now. Obviously, I don't know where the deep Italian section isn't even, who knows? But I've got what I was gonna tell you when we shit. - I know, I saw your face when she was telling the story about the woman's shitting in the, it looked like the numbers were flying around your head. Like it couldn't compute these. These are woman's shitting in your driveway. That was. - No, no, no. - She's no white. - I was concerned about that because I'm taking some shit from some weird places. I'm not gonna be hypocritical, okay? And tell you I haven't been in weird places and stuff. But not in some of these driveway. - Yeah, I listen. - The last year, I took my kind of Jewish daycare sandwich. (laughing) And the back about two month, three, four months ago. (laughing) It happened. - Close enough to drive me. - That's a wagyu beef that shit goes right through me. That's fucking. - Can't imagine one of those kids walking around just seeing that. - That smell. - You know what's really, I know what I was gonna say to you, you know, all these areas that are kind of gentrified, there's always one old school pizza place, a school Italian place. And there's what, again, I'm a fucking old man. But can you imagine having a pizzeria, 30 years, you may be born off your uncle, who had it for 22 years, but he lost an arm in the oven. You know, they put his head in the oven 'cause he owed on the nicks. (laughing) And then, you know, you picked it up for all those years and you're sitting there busting your arm, working hard, and you see these three college kids walk by with two dominoes pizzas. And that's what, I don't, that would take the heart out of me, to keep seeing young kids who even adults with kids getting dominoes pizza, you know, that's no respect for anybody involved. Like nobody's getting respectful. And okay, if you live outside this area, you only need dominoes, that's, that's your prerogative. But even, I remember coming here from California, working in Long Island, being in a whole town, Long Island, and I kicked him in with his dad with fucking sandals on, and a dominoes pizza. I had to do everything I could, not to kick the kid in him in the fucking stomach because you do, you know, I mean, come on, you're a long fucking island. There's gotta be something. And it was. There was something right down the block from the old town. So that type of shit is gotta be like, that shit killed me. - I feel bad. I see a lot of that in the neighborhood. Just because, like I said, there's very few, like, like the businesses, like, just like you said, the businesses have been there 30 years. Like, something I feel like hanging on by a couple of strings, you know, just because the neighborhood changing so much. And then, you know, social media has, you know, is very powerful in the sense that like, people go there, promote it and may help them out. But then there's these places that like, people are just hyping up that just popped up, you know what I mean? And then the old guy gets overshadowed. Maybe they don't know how to use social media. Maybe they don't believe in it. - I get that too. - And it's like, I feel bad because like I see some businesses out there that are older and like, they're pushing. They're pushing the social media. They're getting it. They see it works and makes me happy for them. Because like, but then there's some of these old school guys that like, ah, make a video. Like, they don't understand the power of it. And I feel bad for them because it could possibly like help them out, you know? Because when the neighborhood changed like that, like you're not going to have your customers that we hit 30 years ago coming to you. Like if they all moved out, who's coming to you now? You need to get a whole new audience, you know, in there. And that's hard. That's hard. And I feel bad, you know? But that's why, you know, people laugh at these influences all the going here, they're going there, they're sharing this. You know, it makes a difference for these small guys out there that, you know, need that extra push. - You know, I would love to go out there one night a week. - Yeah. - That's like a 430 in a restaurant, you know? - Listen, yeah. - Put a camera on and talk shit. I would love to be able to do that. My problem is, the more, I don't know, like. - You got, let me, they're missing, you need, I know you're a busy guy, I know you got your own thing going, but you would shake up the freaking food review world. Let me tell you, you would give everybody a run for their money. - But here's the problem, like I feel, I don't mind you talking about food. I don't mind you talking about whatever the fuck you want to talk about. But you know what, you better know what the fuck you talk about. Okay, you know, I don't know ingredients guys. I'm not a cook. I fucking hate to kitchen. If I have to pound the chicken cutlet out, I'd rather fucking slice my juggila than have to look at that chicken raw. - Really? - Oh my god, no, the ears is kind of worse. I just have like a food phobia. - You know. - Touch raw chicken or no? - What's that? - Can you touch raw chicken and you know, like, I don't like any of it. - Oh, what you fucking cook? If you put it in the refrigerator and you got leftovers, I'm in. But I ain't touching those leftovers. I don't like taking the little off. It makes me fucking sick. It makes me gag. It could be my favorite dish in the world. Dog, I don't know what happened over the years. After I went to prison, I was in charge of the kitchen. I had to sniff the foods and I just destroyed, I don't know, I really don't know guys. I just don't like it, I don't like it. I don't mind doing dishes all that shit. I make, you know, every once in a while, I make nothing. Not the guts, you know. - I make nothing. - Yeah, if it wasn't for my wife and her husband, I wouldn't fucking eat. - Yeah, but you got credentials. So I'm going to places, good places, you know what I mean? So even though, You're not gonna go and talk about the technicalities behind making a dish, which is no one good food. Like the people that come here from freaking Iowa and they've only been to all of God and now they're coming here telling me the best Italian restaurants in the city. And it's like, what are your credentials there? You know, respectfully. I like it. Thank you for putting these businesses out there, but you got credentials. Just 'cause you're not cooking, you know? Listen, we need you out there. 'Cause you're gonna tell it how it is. Number one, I can't do a challenge 'cause I'm Cuban. - Doesn't matter. You got the credentials. No, I think you're giving it a go, one. - There's a lot of fucking people being disrespectful out there. I don't want to see an Hindu kid talking to me about pizza. (laughing) I have none against Indian people. I really don't. There's sweet people. Do you know what I'm saying? There's just certain things I don't want to fucking see. And that's what you see. Some kids from, and I'm not bad mother in Chicago, or you motherfuckers all right in those club Chicago, but a kid from Chicago, bad mother in New York, pizza, eating it. You know, you don't really know. I want you to go to five suburbs. I want you to go to Staten Island. I want you to go to Brooklyn. That's what I have to do. And I wouldn't do that on camera. I wouldn't do that on camera. Like one day a week, Staten Island, I'd ask around. I wouldn't go online. - Yeah. - That's loses. - You're gonna need to do it. (laughing) You're gonna need to go, Billy, go cheese, go fucking mother, all right? (laughing) But I'm not gonna go ask fucking, you know, as he's getting chased by ice, hey. (laughing) Where's the best Italian restaurant? It's gotta stop. So that's my other beef. Like I could go do samples of sandwiches. - I don't even like fucking sandwiches. - Yeah, yeah, fucking don't. You know, I could go do like roast beef or cats. Everybody does that shit. - Yeah. - I wanna find that little Italian dude. - Which one? - Anyone. - Oh, that's special dude that killed off the time. - Yeah, no, I know. - That Tony soprano, Jr. - No, I know what you're talking about. - You know, I don't know, there's a beach. No, no, no, I want that guy. - I know who you're talking about. - I want you're in the video he yells and his son calls him a retard in the Italian. What do you find, you know, the whole fucking thing. That's the guy I'm looking for. - You know what you should do? - You can find, like, just go for one thing. Like, if I know you, you should just do reviews of only chicken cutlets. - I'm sick of fucking eating chicken. - You're sick of that? - Because my wife has murdered me with a chicken cutlet. - What does that mean? - That means that my wife butchers recipes. She doesn't know, listen. Okay. - Uh-oh. - We had this conversation a couple weeks ago. - I don't know about you. I grew up when I only trusted two or three dalleys. But when I went in that dalle, and I got a fucking couple macaroni salad. It tasted like macaroni salad, and it smelled like macaroni salad. Fast forward 40 fucking years. I go in the Italian dalle now. Any salad and that fucking thing smells like everything fucking else. The chicken cutlet, like, I came from California, I was buying chicken cutlets everywhere. If I went to a fucking supermarket with bouldies, whatever, I was buying chicken cutlets. I threw them all away. - Yeah. - And I go, what the fuck is going on here? They got Mexicans cooking chicken cutlets. (laughing) - Okay, again, I got nothing against Latinos. Everybody got to make a living here. But they don't understand what a chicken cutlet is. They don't understand how long you really have to dip it in the egg and bring it back in the flour and go back. They got learned old school. Like, here, dip it in, like, I would do it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Dip it in the egg, put it in there, and then throw it on the frying pan. There's levels to a chicken cutlet, Jack. If you're gonna have that and you know what, I'm the type of motherfucker, I'll pay top dollar for a chicken cutlet. Believe it or not, this motherfucker it makes the best chicken cutlet. - Really? - Oh my God, he still uses 1940, whatever. It's love, it's different things. You eat a chicken cutlet, it's just breadcrumbs, come on, man. You even asked a guy, "Did you put fucking a tiny brick over here?" No, they're not. This is fucking, what's it? We were kids. They put the pork chop in it. - Shaking bacon. - Shaking bacon, yeah. That's what it is. Shaking fucking bacon. So all that shit that doesn't open anymore. Belly eats salads anymore. It's over. It's over. It's, they're all tastes like cardboard chicken cutlets. Anything in that fucking freezer, tastes like dick and fucking, I love sandwiches, but again, at least fucking sandwich is complete before you die. - I know, I know. - A lot, a lot, a lot, I know, I get it. So I would love to do that. But you know what I'd like to do? I'd like to go to your restaurant every week and preview something different. - That's what you do. - I feel weird going into a restaurant, getting something there and then going to another restaurant and hyping them up and then another week over here. It's like, I don't trust you. - I get what you're saying, yeah. - You don't say I don't trust you. You jump around too much. - Trying something different that they got, yeah. - I think you just want to be loyal to one place. - I'm very loyal to one. - Have you ever thought about opening up a place? - Yeah, yeah, that's what I want to do. - That's what I want to do. - I'm cooking at night. - Yeah. - That's what I want to do is book my life savings and do a restaurant to compete with, you know. People are going there to see me for a year. Yeah. - Yeah. - You know, and then they're not going to come no more. The food's got to be exceptional. And would you open up a fucking restaurant and this climate right now? I don't know. Everybody fucking eight feet New York. There's something to eat. - Yes, that's true. - You know, I love Italian people. I love Italian people and the only people in this economy brand open to our pizza player. And you sit there, you're like, I'm sure it's a great recipe. It's so proud of the way that grandmother made food and now they want to sell. And I ain't mad at you. But dog, your grandmother will get eaten alive today. 'Cause they don't even eat grandmother's food. No eating anybody's fucking food. I just heard that known as in Staten Island, isn't really Italian grandmother some weeks. - Oh, it's a mix, yeah. - It's a mix. I didn't know that. No, no, no, no, no, no. (laughing) Not the mix we're talking about, okay? So again, you know, I'm so old school. - Yes. - I like what I like. You know, what do you want me to do? Going to the city and going to a place that the chick's throwing knives up in the air. And there's a chick dancing in a cage. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - With that John Wick movie, you know, with the music in the bag. Oh, and hold on, it's Chef Armando. You know, and he comes out fucking, you know, God knows. And you're like, I don't need this. I just need a good fucking meal. - Yeah. - And if you don't even think about me, I'd rather have that older dude that comes over, you know, everybody plays an investment. I'll come in to eat. Listen, if I go in, I got to buy, you know. - Yeah. - And I take a picture of you. What do I get out of you from the food? - Yeah. - No, I look fucking bad. - Yeah. - How many times does it take you guys, both of you? Like if you go somewhere, how many times you have to go there and it's to be good to like make it a recommendation. If you go like three times too, what's the minimum amount of times you have to go before it's like, it, this is cool now. - If I go once and I'm blown away, like, I'm like, okay, like you could tell right away if a place is making good stuff, you know what I mean? If you get like. - I agree. But sometimes I've gone one, like, I've gone to like, there's a breakfast place in Massachusetts. I went to two days in a row because the first day was amazing. - Uh-huh. - And then the second day wasn't good. So like, sometimes I think you need a couple of visits to be like really confirm that it's good. - A valid, yeah. - Just a couple times. 'Cause if I, if I, if I, if Joey's going to Boston and I recommend something, that's why I only have a recommended legal seafoods. Like, 'cause if I recommend something to him and it's not good, he'll get pissed at me. - But he'll get pissed from me. - Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm rather you not saying that. - Yeah, yeah. - I'd rather get up there yourself and ask. - Yeah. - Ask as you're getting off the plane. - Yeah. - You're going to get that person. You know, if you go, I don't eat that kind of, yeah. I don't eat that. I'm not going to somebody who's talking about food on the flight. He lives in Boston. He lives in San Antonio. Where the fuck he lives is I'm flying into. And then you get to the hotel. You ask some questions there. You're not gonna ask this chick with the fucking missing teeth where she eats. She just blew it all on crack. Okay. And you're gonna ask her directions to, you know, whatever the fuck you're gonna ask her. It's like my wife, we went to lunch today and my wife is the king of that shit. - Yeah. - And you got to stop it. You got to see who the fuck you're talking. The waiter is right there. We're at the bar. The bartender is right there. But in the between the bartender, a Mexican walk right by the, I mean, you could tell he was right off the boat. He's like an ice replacement. (laughing) How long he's gonna last or I get some? In the middle of all this, my wife, who is white, stops this poor man thing. I go, do you know what his sugar is? The kid, it was like, talking about, yeah, he didn't have a fucking clue. And my wife's like, Joey, I think I just hit a leg. She goes, well, I go, Terry, that guy don't know. I'll lick a fucking English. And you're asking for a fucking sugar. Well, why is he working? Let's not, I don't fucking know. Don't start a fucking ride with me. I don't know why he works people, but look at him when you told them sugar, he's had almost fucking fucking shouts, I mean, it's fucking crazy. I didn't even know what my point was. Uncle Joey here, listen, the octagon isn't just in Las Vegas, it's in your hands with Draft King Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner of the UFC, yet ready for the drasaville and Jan, the face off again at UFC 323, every punch has the potential for a payoff. Listen, new constipates again, new constipates, bet $5, if you bet wins, you're going to get instantly paid 200 and bonus bets just like that, okay? For all you guys who live in the show me this show me state, Draft King Sportsbook is now live in Missouri, show me state we're here, it's time to lift the rock jack, stop eating ribs, download the Draft King Sportsbook app right now, use promo code Joey, J-O-E-Y, that's code Joey, to turn five bucks into 200 and bonus bets instantly, and if you bet wins. Listen, you know me, I'm always in partnership with Draft King's because I love him, I'm loyal to them and they're the best out there. So with Draft King's remember, the crown is yours, love you, happy hour days. Gambling problem called 1-800-Gambler, in New York called 877-8 Hope & Wire, text Hope & Y-467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for a problem gambling call 888-878-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boothill Casino and Resorting Kansas, pass through if per-wager tax may apply in Illinois, 21 and over, age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction, void an Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets, which expire in 7 days, minimum odds required. Four additional terms and responsible gaming resources, cdkng.co/audio, limited time offer. You know, how many guys, like, when you grew up, how many guys are like Joey? Cause that's what I hear a lot is like, oh Joey reminds me of my uncle, like I didn't grow up around a lot of guys like him, but it's like half of Brooklyn, like just many Joey is. He had all school guys like my uncles, like my father, like, you know, I left because like some of your stories are so wild, you know what I mean? And I think about the stories like my father's and uncles told me, they always definitely told me like the PG-13 version, you know what I mean? And you know, so here and it's like, it's crazy cause it's like not like that nowadays. And like, you know, it was funny to hear and now what are you hearing, nothing, you know, but yeah, no, definitely all the old school guys, that's around the neighborhood, but a lot of them are gone. And it's so weird, I'm attached to food, like they have that diet, what's that diet? It's not weight watches. It's one that's the mental one. I love solar, no, no, no, okay, like they didn't listen. That ship sailed, no, you could send in your top fucking team of frogs and not going to get it out of it. Okay? I'm never going to fucking eat broccoli and I'm not going to reprogram to not eat Chinese food. That's what it is. You have to reprogram your mind, I appreciate it, but this, you know, this mind has already been covered and you can ask George, I was the same way when I was 21. And he would look at me and go, what are you talking about? I don't give a fuck what you got to offer. I knew when I was 1985, the best Szechuan beef was the enchanted Lillian Fortly. I ended up robbing that joint and went back and there two weeks later, okay? That's how strong they were in there for lunch. And people always spoke, because Fortly had a ton of Chinese food, everybody had great Chinese food. Not the fucking Szechuan beef. How do you know, George? Because I've had Szechuan beef all over the fucking Hudson County, it's all I eat and I'm telling you, I still think about that. Like I still have little dreams about them, like I could get that particular Szechuan beef. And they were chants, could not duplicate that Szechuan beef, it was fucking perfect with white rice. And what happened, they closed? Yeah, I left. And I went to prison, I came back, they were closed, you know what I'm saying? It's a Chinese flower place now, whatever the fuck it is, you know, but it doesn't really mad at people. I'm just saying it's, it's just I've always been very stubborn, even when I had nothing like homeless, like I was fucking stubborn, you know, I remember being like having dollars on L.I. And the worst thing I ate was I'd have a bowl of chili from chilies with the junior Wendy's Wendy's, yeah, the junior bacon, no, no bacon, you motherfuckers love that shit, that ain't bacon. You don't even know. Wasn't the one don't you be bacon? Not from those fat food places. Okay. That's a big bacon that my wife fucking gets from a nice place, not shavings from some guy's dead foot, that's a fucking spray paint brown and you're in Burger King. Oh, that's a great bacon. I don't trust bacon on the earth. I want to see that motherfucker, you cover up bacon, it's a different, you ever fly out? You'll never, everybody has that fucking cancer egg, it's just I was egg, yeah, the hockey buck, I want to see the fucking egg, I won't eat it, even in Mexicans like when you fly if you eat tacos, they give you like half a cancer egg, but I'll take it because the salsa kills the fucking cancer, you know what I'm saying? Cancels it out, but yeah, you have to stay, you know, right totally this, that when I was out in California, all those years, you had to stick up for something, you know, in your life, you have to believe in something. I don't believe in politics, like most people, I don't believe in a lot of focus, but I believe in food, you know, and here's the other reason why I can't be a critic, because there's very few restaurants that when you go there, after that, you go to a restaurant, we're really excited, we go to a restaurant on Monday night and then we fucking all love it and we can't wait to go back to far one Monday. Then we take a breather, the holiday is this day and we don't go back for a while, then you go back to third time and while you're there and you're reading and everybody's moving around and you're looking at the wait step and the owner's coming out talking to people and the chicks coming out with wine and at some point somebody comes over to you and says, "Joy, do you want us to take this jacket?" And you're like, "You know what? Yeah, thank you." And you're sitting there and you're like, "Oh my God, it's not even the food. It's the magic in this restaurant." Okay, that's just a magic wear. At one point, you're like, "You know what? I'm with family." Even though if I don't know these strangers, these people at home, this restaurant treat me like I'm family. Like how do you want that? We could take the eggs out for you. Like, that type of shit. And that's the magic of a restaurant that, as people anymore, we don't give a fuck. We want to go to see the belly dancer and to pay 19 for the martini and to tell people who are expensive and who are cool. That's it. Everybody forgot that little corner joint that you take a corner table and there's, you know, I don't give a fuckers in there, Chinese people, whatever. We're all eating as a family. Whether it's meatloaf, a basic spaghetti and meatball. Listen, spaghetti and meatball ain't the type of shit you leave the house thinking about. Nobody leaves the house going, today I'm going to have spaghetti with meatball. But wait till you go to somebody's house and listen, I just made a fresh batch of spaghetti and meatball. And even though you want to Chinese, that you're going to go to your grandmother's cooking, you know, I'm here and it's ready. She's pouring right now and she's going to give it to me without liking it or not. And even though I'm not eating that much meat these days, I can't tell her I'm not eating three meatballs in a hunk of sausage in a piece of bright show. That fucking dish better go back like I just got out of prison. You ain't going to go in that kitchen and say, I'm on, I'm on, no, the meat, no, the meat no good. Yeah, you said that. They just piled on you and you eat it. You fucking eat it. I can't do that no more. No? No. But my point is, that's what I look for in a restaurant. After the third time I'm family, him and I, there's a restaurant we grew up in a Chinese joint called Chan. They know us. I didn't know their names, a little fucking bartender. But every time I sat in that corner table and I looked out at the door, they had fucking, you know, the fucking, the set was from 1940 in Hawaii. Yeah. I love those. There was no wine in there. You went to Chan. You remember? Yeah. You know, but there was something about it. I'd gone there for so long. First time I went in there was probably eighth grade, freshman year in high school. Wow. What are we now? Fifty and was still going in there. Wow. That's. Yeah. That's what I like in the restaurant. Yeah. But if I want to take my shoes off, in fact, I'm not going to take my fucking shoes off. But if I want to, because I got a corner on the right foot and I want it to be at another table, I could. And if you ask me, listen, my foot's on fire, you want a piece of tape? What do you want? You want to light a coke? What do you want? A nice cube. What do you want to cigarette? We got you. And that's what we're missing now. We're not doing that. We're going to this restaurant in the city. It's got a name. It's fancy. The food ain't bad. But you're. Shifting it out of there unless you're a sports celebrity or an actor that's big time, you know So that's what I miss guys So when I do go to Rudy so all the time George, I'm talking to you That's why I feel come you're gonna shoot me shoot me a Rudy's Just the guard is completely down You know, I'm saying my guard is down. I like last breezes. My guard is down. I Like it. Listen. I know. Yeah. Yeah. There's a place on that lip. I know I know Like a park outside double the triple park We show up with eight cars And everybody double park I mean not once a big committee said move your car. We're gonna. I got a valet now. I got to pull up in front of a bunch of people that come in they hit a big drum You know, I'm highest fuck. You want to start yelling in Japanese behind my back. I don't have. I don't You know all that shit like I'm too old. Yeah. Yeah. That's my glamor in the food is ended for me You know, do you want sparkling water or regular one? Just give me fucking water. I grew up in fucking Jersey Yeah, just give me whatever the fuck you're drinking. Give me water. Oh, no You know, I will give you half and half listen Well, I just tell you Bruno one of your fuck is there a place that you'd take your your daughter to that you went to as a kid Honestly, like all the old school places that we would go to they're not there really all of them close I mean, I'm trying to think I mean Spamony Gardens. We used to go there Um on the weekends we play soccer and then after soccer we would go to Spamony Gardens I was like a little treat. Yeah, we've been taking her there But a lot of the places new corners was a place we used to go to as an old school Italian place. They're closed um I'm definitely missing a few but not not too many from my childhood, you know Do people ask you to start a place since you do all the cooking or you just want to do it on social media? I just you know everyone comments this and that you know cookbook this that You know, but whatever feels right will feel right, you know, I'm a restaurant Restaurants are a whole different ballgame. Not for me, you know what I mean? That's it's a lot. It's a lot to run a restaurant You know, you think I'm cooking online. Oh yeah, no, no I mean, you build up your name or cook if she opens something up in Brooklyn, right? Yeah You know for some up in Brooklyn, but it's just you know, we live in a different world, bro Because the first three months it's gonna be standing room Now we go into a different zone. I guess what there's a martini bar. I'll open them down around and they jump up and down And now that's what happens. We lose our attempt and everybody's always like oh you like the chicken from there Have the chicken over here. No, no, this is where I grew up. Yeah This is what I mean the fucking chicken. I know these people I know the people who were here before them I feel because someday they're all gonna be fucking gone They're all gonna be replaced And I don't want to tell you who's gonna be running those fucking places Okay, and yeah, so you better dig in now While you can instead of fucking around with fucking Olive Garden and all that stupid a man in my position Who's a fucking felon and a bum? I don't make mistakes when it comes to that. I don't even give it a chance I don't want it in my fucking room. My my my girl from one of the go and she goes by herself With her friends. She got friends trying to go by herself and you know, whatever. I don't want to step foot in there And I don't And I don't That's just life the way it is for me And it is crazy when a place like that closes I get sad like an actor died or like it's like a fish Someone like a family member died too. I have a good way to get close and I was going through all the other ship my life I just not go ahead. Well, they got another restaurant. Literally listen. It's over It died. It's never coming back. He's going every day standing me pictures like it's never coming back It's not taking fucking pictures. It's over That taste will never be there again the ambiance the aggro and let me tell you something. I got arrested one night 40 years ago April of 85. I got arrested. I was getting transport the broken county jail and I told the cop I started dropping cop names and shit And he goes what's going on? Oh, there's some man. I haven't eaten since fucking and now you're gonna take me the night court at midnight I'm not gonna eat and he goes what do you suggest? I go once you stop a chance dragging him And this cop started telling me shit that they want to stake out one night Looking for they were waiting for a guy who broke saves And they were all in there and after 10 minutes I'd put the lights on If felt like somebody was breaking in and there was all the rats in there. Oh my god. Now I know this But I'm still gonna argue with you because I'm not going to be up chance When I eat there, I'll mit that story from my mind Okay, I'll mit that fucking story from my mind Because that's why I grew up that's staking on the stick you think I invented that they were the best You want an effort appetizing you got to stake on a stick maybe I said best off a nice little cold beer And after a couple minutes to stake on a stick Well propelled that appetite till you know what time in the move for chicken Chiang Mai So I'm in the move for this that that's that's how it works so I don't fucking know what I'm saying anymore. I just love to eat and I love food Are you a fusion perl like you like Italian if you like you'll cook it Yeah In 1984 there was an Italian Chinese restaurant They closed down yeah, it was too early for fusion in those days no But I forget what they had that was kind of Chinesey It's gotta be done right like it's got a sounds appealing to you like I don't know if I would go there like on a whim You know what you mean? I would have to look into it because I'm not sure if it's done right yeah, but I don't know there's not too many places like that around there Especially with around us, especially with like Italian food or fusion Not too many. No, yeah, we need that shit for good reason I guess the same people eat domino Yeah, so we wanted something different So it's an Arab Italian place I went to Des Moines and there's a place like well known in Des Moines that does like orange chicken pizza like Chinese for pizza Yeah, sometimes I do like to piss them off, but let me try it No, no, he'd kill me. He'd find out he found he used that I used to live two blocks from a subway He had spies in the neighborhood If I use a block next to the subway You're going to go in subway with them because it was Laurel Canyon So everybody that lives in the valley went up and down Laurel Canyon. There's Lee We're like an overcoat on it fucking Going to subway train and that a whole block Was food debt Venus Fritzel That was Papa's it was just debt. Yeah, and I think jack in the box jack in the box. Oh Jesus Christ Yeah, he was the king of all that shit. I know I was you can't keep eating that shit. Oh another thing. That's my other problem We can't go into it now, but I get the people piss me off the more Like when I walk into it like crispy crispy. I fucking love crispy I don't want to see creepy food on pizza Creepy food. Yes, when I walk in a pizza joint If they have all those different pizzas I don't look I may believe like it's somebody I love and they died that I hit by a fucking helicopter When I go into crispy, I already know what the 13th Avenue looks like So I zoom in on it and I know what the cheese looks like and I don't try to look that way or this way Because I know I'm gonna get pissed off and walk out That's how pissed up because they're not serving. Yeah, chicken money. I got I see a ton of them like buffalo chicken pizza does that piss you off low chicken pizza in Naples if I go to Naples Nobody has buffalo chicken pizza. Why you selling that You catering to the whole different audience and in reality you really don't want in here They put ranch on pizza enough. I don't want that person in my store ever Ever and I'm human you might as well as Italian I'd be in prison in and out Because I'd be shooting kids in the head don't spread this ranch on pizza. Oh my god. There's just so many things I don't believe it. Yeah, yeah, like not that award. It's cool. No, no, it's it's never been fucking cool To put ranch on a fucking pizza, okay Okay, in California for example, this is how picky I am What's this what's your definition of a slice? A slice Playing slice. What is the experience? That's a different definition What's your definition of a slice? He's asking you like what your experience is when you go to order a slice. Yeah You go you get it's a the has to have a crispy undercarriage, right? Has to have a nice hold to it Good amount of sauce, good amount of cheese. You get one slice. I agree with you. Yeah, but you walk in Some guys wipe his hands on his apron, right? I don't give a fuck We think what I was growing up on pizza people weren't picking their noses. I'm gonna Who gives a fuck that's a yeah lightness cigarette as they made the pie the smoke is going right into the fucking pie, okay? - Yeah, they're flipping it around. - Oh, we taught him. - Like, you're ordering a pizza. - This is slice. - So, to me, and I grew up in 88th street, and then we moved into our jersey. To me, walking into a place is, hey, what's going on, how you doing? What are you having? Let me get a slice, let me get two slices. They're brand new out of the oven. All right, let me get two of those, and let me get a coke. Anything else, no, no, no, no. Let me get some extra cheese on one of the slices. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. He takes turns around, he puts them in the oven, slams the oven, he turns around, that's going to be 850. Boom, you thought $1.50 in the tip jar was a small 10? He says, here you go, the slice to go, and no, I'm going to eat it right here on the move. I was always in on the move, guy. Not to go on the move. I got things to do with people to see. That's a slice. - No. - Go to a pizza place in California. How are you doing? How are we doing? (laughing) - I don't know. - I want a cheese slice, you know what I'm saying? They take your money, they take the tab, the check, and they put one slice, and they put it on some, and they send it to the back in the Mexican. Now, he's got to read it. Think about what's going on in his life. Take this slice, put it in the oven. Now, that takes whatever, eight minutes, 'cause he don't know the temperature of his slice. He don't know what a crispy slice is. He doesn't understand that concept. You just hide them to make pizza. We don't understand that concept. Then he takes, and I'll put some addition, leaves it there for another three minutes, and then fuck all the vegan. Let me still look back and find the size to give you a slice of pizza. That's a 13-minute experience. That's a thing. - That should be what, five? - It should be five, six. If there's two people out of you, 'cause everybody knows in the East Coast the step to the fucking side. We got a ton of people behind you, and I'm outside, and it's 20 below. Move, move. And when you get your pizza, I don't want to hear it. Tell Nicky, I said, "Yeah, I'm going to stop." I got the fuck out of here. Tell Nicky later, send him a fucking email when you were a fucking Nicky. Well, fucking talk to Nicky now. Oh, fuck yourself. That's what the fucking Nicky. - Honestly, a slice isn't even a meal. A slice is just like I'm a little hungry now. - It's on the go. - Oh, it's crazy. - I'm taking the bus to Jersey. You're following me? As I'm passing Penn Station, whatever. Yeah, there's a little joint in there, there's no joint in there. The guys are telling, he's training two little Mexican dudes, but they got it. They're spinning the pizza. You going there once a week? And the pizza's gotten better and better and better. You know what? Your body becomes acclimated to it. I think fucking the kids set it one time in the episode of "Supranos" and people have no idea. It's true as fuck. You know, when you're a kid and you eat that fucking slice every day, 'cause we eat slices every day and we were kids. Who slices a day? That goes into your fucking DNA door. You could drink all the NAMM 1500 and all that shit they saw you now. That's in your DNA. You raised with that sauce. That's when we go to college or you go to prison. No, we don't have the fuck you decide to do. You come back, you go to Romans, you taste the slice and it tastes you through a fucking adventure, like eating 20 pounds of mushrooms. Yeah. You know, it really does. It's like a psychological spiritual. This is what you fucking grew up on, guys. So for me, that's what it is. I didn't grow up on crispy, but I grew up on pizza like crispy. And it's important to you. Was it hard for you when you were a day? I don't know when you met your husband. Did you date a lot or no? We were dating for like five years and we married five years. Was it hard before, like if you dated, would you ever dated a transplant who's like, let me take it to this place and it's like Olive Garden? No. No. You had to be someone from, from Brooklyn. It's just not my thing, like different breeds. I don't understand them. They don't understand me, you know? But it makes you like, food makes me happy. It like it honestly, you could take everything else away. When you were talking about food, there's a pizza place down the street from my group called Borosini's. I have no idea if it's even still open and probably isn't good compared to New York. But like, I take a bite and oh, it was like fucking, and you're gonna laugh. But like Ratatouille, that Disney movie where the food critic takes a bite of the, whatever the vegetable thing is and he's a kid again. Like that one little taste of something, like it just brings you back for a second. And really it's important. What do you think I'm talking about? That's what I am. Even though I'll go up to, I believe this pizza tastes like fucking dick. Oh my goodness. It tastes like shit. Who made this fucking Jodie Arab? (laughing) How did you know? Man, we're doing this podcast for our love of food. Nobody can just, I could go another eight hours. Oh, I know. We could take it to different locations in the Bronx and do video checks. You know, we could do all that shit too, but we ain't got enough time. But that's just what we love. Like, I can see that in your videos. The first time I saw you doing the fucking slits, slice the lettuce, then you got it. 'Cause it's so true. Like, not even like, it's just so true. Like, have you ever got, like, I think about places, I've saw a place making a sandwich. They put a whole piece of the frickin' iceberg. And you're like, imagine biting into that shit. And the whole slice comes out. Yeah, and it's so slimy. Now your sandwich is all fucked up. And you gotta eat it all at once, like a fucking animal. Because if you do put it down, you're not gonna pick it up again. It's already broken. So you gotta hold on to it and take bites. And no, no, no, no, I don't like that shit. Yeah, so that's why that one made me like, so I laugh and because like, it's just so true. And if you know, you know, you know what I mean? And if you don't know, you gotta feel bad for them because they don't know, like, now. I don't understand how, like, I gave my daughter every experience. You know, like, whatever, try it now. You know, you know, you know, by little, you're not gonna get them to eat sushi and all this shit when they're ready. So stop it. Yeah, your kid eats a good for him. Some people have to get in the quiet days. But you want them to, you know what I'm saying? But the other thing you want them to eat good. Yeah, of course. I get pissed off, my wife wants to get fast food. It drives me fucking insane. I'm trying to raise a race horse. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to raise a thoroughbred. You're giving a fucking shitty fucking fuel, you know? So all that shit pisses me off, like, I'm just such an old-school fucking food dude. But you love, I could tell in your eyes. When you, like, when you said, you know, even when I go salt, light with the salt, heavy with the pepper. Yeah. A lot of people understand that concept. You want to give it a little flavor, but you want the salt to take you over the time. Now you don't want to overdo it. As a matter of fact, put the lettuce on it and then put the pepper on it. Okay, so it tastes-- Makes a difference. I go to get a sandwich today. Everybody goes to the big show. He makes me a sandwich like this. You take two bites, it's on your fucking left. I need a fork in it. Make me a customized, nice sandwich that I could eat, like a gentleman on a nice roll, cock. I put it down. I take a pepper chini. I take a bite of that, right or wrong, am I 90? Yeah, right. But no, you're going to make me an 80. Look at this sandwich. It's fucking tremendous. I got broccoli in it. I got roll saline, I got dickarini, I got peccarini, I got every rini, okay. That's not necessary. No, honestly, I feel like they do that now. Like they do stuff that they say to some people like, but we don't need that. No. It's too like, as much as, and I know where's Rutgers. Where they have those, the fat sandwiches with a bunch of other sticks inside. Every once in a while when you're stoned, yeah, maybe. But on Instagram, your food actually look good. And it was like, maybe a little bit of a take on an old thing. I'm a fat ass who lead anything. But when there's a place in the city that does chocolate sauce on the outside of the cup of the milkshake, that pisses me. I'm like, I don't want to lick the cup of it. Oh, I'm like too fat. I'm too embarrassed to lick the side of a milkshake cup. I can't do that. I honestly think there's like some Instagram people like, do stuff that they think is going to make me like come in my pants. And it's not like that. It's like, I would much rather have just like, really good, simple. I love a simple, just basic food. Like you said, no one, no one like, you know what? You said earlier that big ziti, big ziti is like, if I only wanted to have anything for the rest of my life and it was big ziti, be happy. And it's quick. It's in the refrigerator. Let's rock and roll. You don't like it's better in the fridge, 'cause you can. Ain't nobody dying, ain't nobody. And you can only go put up with something. Because the big ziti is there, but maybe your mom made two pork chops hidden behind the fucking thing. Because everything. And now you take it. So big ziti is a fucking staple. Yeah. Big ziti, I had a friend that I lived with for a year. I loved them dearly from North Bergen. And he used to make tuna fish with elbow macaroni and fucking mayonnaise salt and pepper. Okay. Again, you know, I want what I want that. Okay. Get home from work at five. See what the first thing you go for. It's fucking, it was delicious. I don't know what he put in the lemon, something else. It was fucking delicious. Like a tuna pasta salad, right? Yeah. Like a tuna pasta salad, really fucking good. He put some peppers in there. Nobody does that no more. Like, I don't know. I don't fucking know what's going on. You don't let me know, man, all right? I'll let you know. Listen, before we get off, I really, really want to thank Rob Crown, Staten Island. [BLANK_AUDIO] up with a six pound chocolate bread. Okay. Not one pound, not one loaf, six pound chocolate bread. You see the pictures. They're on my IG feed. Look at Lee. Lee's already having fantasies. They sent us, we already, we already got into this. They sent a tub of butter, whipped fresh butter, a tub of butter. They sent jelly, they sent a prosciutto bread, everything bread. I've been digging on real crown for the last five years because my neighbors all are from Staten Island. They dropped it off. And then I didn't know that Bianca from Brooklyn was in with fucking them. She realized how great they were to win. How long have you been eating the chocolate bread for? Honestly, every Christmas, the bread basket always had chocolate bread, olive bread, and your Italian bread. So because it used to be a royal crown in Brooklyn, right by me on 13th Avenue. And that was, that was the go to in the morning. You got all three. And that was there. We always had it for Christmas, Christmas Eve, actually. And then the leftovers for Christmas day. Me to put butter on it, it's got to be like, I have to box for two hours. No, you have to butter and jelly. Do a nice little combo. No, no, no, no, no. Just stop shit. Sorry. Just the butter. I'm Cuban American. Not any gun, the wheat jelly. I don't put jelly on shit. Okay. Jelly only runs with fucking peanut butter as my wife was from the south. She thinks she put jelly on everything. Check in and fucking, you know, then that other shit, Marmalade, I used to throw it away. Like the aunt, like orange, right? Oh, no. I throw that shit away. Yeah. She'll come in the room. Did you see what happened to the jelly? She knows every six months I throw the fucking jelly away in the house. I thought you mean at the restaurant table. If she buys a jar of it, you just throw it away a couple days. Oh, I keep looking at a refrigerator and one day I keep looking at it and one day I go fuck this. And I just throw it away. She don't know nothing. What do you put that on? Orange? You put it on fucking bagels. Not the Marmalade. The Marmalade's something she bakes. Huh? I don't fucking know. I don't want that around me. I can't believe that. It's disgusting. Do you like seven layer cookies? Like rainbow cookies with the jelly in it. Or a jelly cookie. Yes. I like all that stuff. You see like jelly donor from time to time. But when I'm eating fucking eggs. Oh, no, sonny side up. You know me dog. I'm a whole school gangster. Fuck you and your egg whites and your fucking bullshit. Well, another thing, everybody thinks because they eat an egg white, they put broccoli to help you go fuck yourself. There's nothing healthy in that fucking egg yolk right there. Okay. With a piece of fucking bread, with a piece of butter on that motherfucker who needs bacon, three egg yolks, four egg yolks, with some Italian bread. That's 28 grams of protein and egg. Where you going? The bread, the bolo cholesterol, a little bread to get the pep in the step. If you're an old school savage or 16 ounce coke over fucking eggs, no, you can't do the coke. I'll admit that motherfucker's, you know, water with lemon, whatever. But I love, you know, that type of shit. Like that Italian bread. That's my, that's my junk. I'm going to type motherfucker to wake up tomorrow, put that bread in the oven, and that's my wife to make six egg yolks. And when that thing comes out, I'll take a whole tub of that fucking butter and put on a Italian bread. And I'll just eat one yolk on the bread, but I want the yolk to break. So it drips. So after I eat this loaf, I did this loaf of butter like dipping in that fucking little yokey yolk. And after I break three or four yolks is a little pile of fucking egg yolk. You're going to shower fucking. I love all you like eggs. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Listen, I would make myself eggs since I was a kid like in junior high high school in the morning. Damn. Never really into cereal. You know how do you like eggs scrambled? I like scrambled. Yeah. I can't do the yoke. I can't do the yoke. Thanks. I know. That's not for everybody. A little scrambled egg with a Italian bread. Yeah. You put ketchup on it. I get in trouble for putting ketchup on it. Oh my God. Look, ketchup, a little hot sauce. A little hot sauce, a little french hot sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little french hot sauce. A little piece of maybe some fried potatoes. Oh, yeah. And you bake them at before you chop them up into little cubes and you flatten them down and you put them in there. Oh my god. Yeah, we don't fuck around here, ladies and gentlemen. I wouldn't have a professional if I wasn't a fucking professional. I see these places. Now you go in and then they have the in Jersey to have a lot of these places where it's like $12.95 for the kitchen sink bagel. Who eats that? Who eats that? Two eggs, potato pancake, sausage, bacon, Canadian ham, tomato, cheese. It's like this. I don't know. I have a car. No, who eats that? Sounds good. Oh, you can't fucking listen to me. You let no disrespect. You and I got big fucking heads. Okay. That means we got a big fucking bite. There's no way I could bite into that bagel legitimately. Even if I cut it through the middle and cut it again. There's no fucking way. I agree. If you could bite that bagel, we're taking you tonight to 40th century, we're opening up our own review because if your mouth could bite one of those bagels, then you're wasting your career. Don't tell me you wasted your career. You put a hash brown on it. Lizzie, you're not a fat. In my opinion, you don't earn fat guy status until you're getting an egg sandwich and you get two hash browns because one goes in the sandwich, one goes on the side. A hash brown has to go inside. What a hash brown? When you go to a bodega in Brooklyn or a sous la monade, whatever the fuck they call it. And the guy makes sure that they know potato pancake. What he's talking about. There's a nice fucking seated roll, a Kaiser roll, and some dudes making the tight. I don't like my man. My fucking scrambled eggs soggy. No, they gotta be tight. Prison ones are soggy. You don't know what you're eating. But when they're tight, and then you put that salt and pepper on it, mix it up nice. Never in the world, George. You could document that motherfucker. You put a little ketchup on it, but again, don't put fucking Dollar Tree ketchup. No, Heinz put Heinz, 50 C. Yeah. Put the fucking best. You're the best. Right? Yeah. Why are you fucking around with packets that you stole from fucking Taco Bell? Oh, it's ain't hard enough. Thank you for coming out. Where can they find you? Thank you for having me. Bianca from Brooklyn on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Bianca from Brooklyn. Yeah. I appreciate it. Happy holidays. Thank you. And this is it. It's official. We broke it down from September. How many Mondays we got? You're down to like two and a half Mondays. And you're going Christmas shopping. It's all over. We told you to be prepared. We told you to open up a Christmas club to put five hours a week away. She can at least have 75. You have some for grandma. Did you listen to me? Fuck no. You bought tickets to go see the ranges. Go fuck yourself. And I got to pull in your fucking guitar and your drum kit. And the ring your grandma gave you disgusting slot. Anyway, we love you motherfuckers with all our Lee. Were you at this week? This week tonight, the second I met she was at the three monkeys. But the most important this week on the fifth were in Virginia. The Pantheon and Caesars Palace then though. Are you nuts or what? 9 p.m. Nine o'clock show late. Perfect. Have some dinner. Get relaxed. You don't have to rush from work. Smoke some dope. Go piss and fucking shoot the stage. And then there's no blackjack. There's no lottery tickets. There's nothing. There's nothing at the. No, we go right from the stage right to the car. All I know is right to the fucking helicopter. We're back in Doma. I want to go. I'm taking a fucking helicopter. We got Chuck Norris. I'm telling the nice people in Virginia to do that. Now, come on out Friday. It's going to be a great show. We're going to have a good time. I just got Becky's passport. Keep your fingers crossed. She could be an operative for lionists and one of those fucking organizations. I'm not affiliated with them. But that's it. I love you. Thank you very much. Happy all day. Thank you. Thank you for introducing us to your family. Of course. And for bringing us some role. Look at the piece of that chocolate bread. Holy fuck. I love you guys. Have a great week. See you next week. Stay black. Hey, Uncle Joe. We're here. You can try the sweet whiskey like this one, peppermint, watermelon or mocha available with either two or three milligrams of nicotine. Zippx lets you pick how much kick you want. 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