The Jake Shane Episode

♪ ♪ ♪ His name is Jake ♪ ♪ Jake what? Jake what? ♪ ♪ Shane ♪ ♪ Jake-Shane ♪ ♪ Jake-Shane ♪ ♪ Jake-Shane ♪ ♪ He'll heal your pain ♪ - You excited for Shane to come? - Shane-Jake? - Yeah, Shane-Jake. - I am excited. I've never met him. I've seen clips of him online. It seems like he's a prominent podcaster. - Do you know how he actually started? He--what? - I was just gonna make a joke. - Oh, you want to make it? Okay. - Do you want to tell me the joke first? - No, it's not a good enough joke. That's why I didn't say it. - Make your joke--what is it? - Uh, a Shure microphone and a dream. - Uh, is that even a joke? - That's why I didn't say it. - A Shane microphone? - No, Shure, like an SM--whatever. - Yeah, I know what Shure is. - Like, that's how he started. - You know what? - All right. - It's a little hot. - It's getting a little hot. - Well, take off the blanket. - Maybe with all the jokes, you're getting so hot. Are you gonna save them for Jake? - I'm gonna make a lot of jokes to Jake. - Really? - I, uh--I need you to tell me about what's in front of me so I can start eating. - What's in front of you? This is a beautiful pina-- Wait. Why is the--why is the lava cake brown? - It's the new Domino's S'more Lava Cake. - Are you telling me this thing's a s'more? - Yeah. - Domino's S'more. - You never heard of it? - I've never had it. - It's new. - Oh, my God. - Yeah, show the goo. - You see the goo? - Show them the goo. - Put the cream to the lens. - Ugh. - Oh, my God. - Is it good? Give me. Give me. - I'm gonna have a bite of mine. - Oh. - Oh. I got--they're coming in all direction. - And there's--you can take a bite of that, and you can take a bite of the-- - That's a chocolate mold. - Mm-hmm. - Mm. - This is-- - That's s'more. Give me some more. - This is maybe the best s'more I've ever had. It gets me thinking. What other things can we put on sticks? - Heads? - To--what? No, to cook. - Oh. - Mm. You could put--you could put this on a stick. - Mm. - Chicken? Meat? Chicken kebab? - Yeah, I guess kebab. - Yeah, everything's-- - You can put anything on a stick. Fruit? Pizza? From Domino's with pineapple on top? - There's no--no sticked pizza. - You can put the pizza on a stick. - No one's ever had sticked pizza. - You could put the pizza on a stick if you want. You just fold it and put it on a stick. It's not that hard. I don't think it's ever been done. - I don't think it's ever been done. - No one would ever put a pizza on a stick. - Well, get a fire going on. - Now I'm cold. Now I'm gonna get cozy. Honestly, s'mores reminds me of camping. - Oh, yeah? - It does. - You a big camper? - Do you like camping? - I hate camping. - Have you ever-- - You like the idea of it. - Have you ever gone? - I like going to overnight camp. - Oh, my God, yeah. - I don't like going to, like, some fucking plot of land. - Yeah, like, Chuck, would you ever be in, like, a tent-- - I'm not s'moring this. - --in, like, the middle-- Sorry, I can't even think the-- I'm getting residual taste in the back of my throat from how delicious this s'more was. - I just thought of a new joke. - Okay. - Why did the guy hate camping? - Why? - It was intense. - That's a good joke. - That's good. - I love that joke. - Oh, Jake's here. - Hey! - I'm here. - Hi, pussies. - Oh, this is serious? - Can you believe we did this? - Oh! - I see what you guys are talking about. It doesn't look like it. - Right. - Fuck, marry, kill of the three of us. - Oh, Jesus Christ, Chuck. Relax. - Yes! Isn't that insane? - Like, Rafiki. - Oh! - Oh! - It's okay. It's okay. - Oh. - Oh! My favorite. - Wow, you really hit a perfect note there. - Thanks. I felt it. - It was, like, pitch perfect. - I know. You know he sings. He has music. - I did not know you sang. - No, well, I do a little, like, comedy music. - I-- - He does comedy music, too. Don't take him seriously. - You got anything on the web? - Yeah, I'll send it to you after. - Okay. - Do you know about his past with Octopus? - No, I don't know anything about your past. - Would you explain your past with Octopus? - I used to review--well, I still do, actually, review Octopus. That's how I started my account. I would do, like, "Hi, pussies," and then I would review the Octopus, and then I would do it out of eight tentacles. This is-- - Did you put a lot of thought into that strategy? - No. I was smoking a lot of the time. I was bored. I was in college. - Did you love Octopus? - Love. - I've actually never had Octopus other than calamari. - Oh, shit. See, I messed up. - Why? - I forgot to put the dressing in before I put-- - Use this one. Oh. We can do it. It can happen. Pour it all in. - No, no, no. I think you're right, and now I'm a little stressed out about it. - You want to just eat out of this one? - No, I'll do this one, too. - Have you ever--have you ever had Octopus? - Not--not in its-- - Would you like one bite? - Not in its very form like that. - So what's it not form? - Just go like this. - Calamari. - No, that's squid. Come on. - You thought it was Octopus, too. - You did. - But--but--okay. - I was--I had the same thought. - Really? Where are you from? - I actually don't know if it's for me. - What? - Philly. - Eagles fan? - Yeah. - God, there are a lot. I mean, I love--I like the Eagles, too, but they take it seriously. - Where are you from? - New York. - But do you actually like the Eagles or no? - I mean, I do because the people I'm surrounded by like the Eagles, and if they lose, they're in the worst fucking mood all day. - You like sports. - No, I like how people behave. - Are you surrounded by a lot of Philly people? - Yes. - Oh, that's fun. I love Philly people. - Yes. They're fun. - I love a Philly boy. - Yeah. Oh. Clearly. - Well, I didn't know until I met him, but-- - There's a little bit of a grit. There's an optimism mixed with a good pessimism, as well. - You're the blue-collar working-- - The blue-collar boy. - I can't do--I cannot see the life on anything. Like, I can't--I don't like bones in, and I don't like--you know, I see the-- - Octopus don't have bones. - No, I know, but like a--like a chicken wing. - Yeah, check. - I don't like the tentacles. - No, Chuck, you'll like this one. - I think this is spicy. - Yeah, yeah, that's a good piece. It's so good. - Tendrils are-- - No, it's so great. Just put it in your mouth. It's delicious. - You're a picky eater, huh? - Yeah. Isn't that delicious? - It's the tendrils. Oh, my God. The tendrils. - To swallow it. - Tendrils? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you mean tentacles? - I can push past that. - Do you mean tentacles mochi? - Yeah, it is good. - Yeah. - No, no, no. He hates it. - It tastes like a mochi. - That was like a dollar. - That was a dollar. Wait, I gotta say, I do think that, you know, this is a tentacle, right? - Well, stop touching the ball. - This is a tentacle, but on the tentacle, there are tendrils, I think. I have no-- - Oh. - I'm not sure. I've never said tendril in my life before. - I don't even-- - You just-- - Are you talking about like pee tendrils? - These little circular things. - No, I don't think those are tendrils. - If you go to college, if this is called a tendril, then I'm blown away at my own vocabulary. - Are they called a tendril? - Where'd you go? - Who are you asking, bud? - Green if it's a tendril, red if it's not. Yep, not a tendril. You're an idiot. Put it that way. - Is tendril even a word? - Tendril-- - I like tendrils. - Well, there's pee tendrils. - Wait, so where'd you go to college? - University of Richmond. - Spiders? - Virginia. - Yeah. - You like? - I did. I didn't love it at first, 'cause it's very, very like preppy. Like every single guy is wearing like purple pants and like a lanyard, croquis, all that. - Love. - Yeah, that's not my speed. Like I'm like-- - What's your speed? - I'm like a guy who knows his way around the basketball court. But I learned Richmond, I really did, I kind of judged a lot of-- - Was everyone taking their shoes off? - I can't stand. - I can't stand either. - I have realized that it is too physically draining. - Oh my God, do you know how much better I feel? - You feel calm and at ease. - Oh my God. - The top of Dave's body is always in a different mood than the bottom. - What do you mean by that? - Like right now, like the top of him is like, oh, I work in like finance or like it's like casual Friday. - Where are you getting finance? - Casual Friday. - He's hot. - From like a-- - We're married. - No, yes, yes. - Like a J.Crew shirt, then it's like, oh, my bottoms are like maybe I'm at Equinox. And then like the shoes are like I'm at home. - At the University of Richmond, I judged a lot of books by their cover. I saw these men and the way that they dressed and I thought, wow, you guys are fucking losers. And then I realized I like these people. At the end of the day, when I got past the outfits, I thought they were just normal guys just like me. I liked my people and then I ended up loving University of Richmond. - People that dress like you? - No, I'm saying they dress really lame still, but I like their personalities. - They don't dress lame. - Oh, that's nice. - I think it's they just, it's an East Coast vibe. - Yeah, I find it to be like an ostentatious, pretentious way to physically carry yourself. But maybe that's me being, I'm being judgmental. I'm being judgmental. - That's okay. - I was. I'm admitting that. I judge books by their cover. - I think if you would say something incorrect and you admit it right after, it's fine. - Is your face like so chiseled right now? You look very different in a very good way. - Shut the fuck up. - Are you being serious? 'Cause I woke up this morning. I looked in the mirror and I was like, my face is so puffy. - No, you look like chiseled. - I think I lost weight since I last saw you. - Are you like having a lot of sex right now? - No, I haven't had sex in a while. - What about, and then was that last time great? - Yeah, it was awesome. I think it was, yeah, it was awesome. - Are you dating? - I'm dating around. Yeah. - Yeah. - Wait. - But it's just all the guys, good guys are in New York I feel like. - Are you, are you like not fast sexually? Like do you? - You know, so I'd like to think of myself as not, but I think I am. - Okay. - Are you top or bottom? Or verse? - What do you think, Benny? - No, you have to be verse in a time like today. - I can't be verse. - You have to. - I don't want to. - You're bottoms up, bottoms up. - Yep. - Only? - I don't wanna be verse. I don't want to. - Have you ever fucked the man? - No. - You haven't? - No, never. - I've never fucked the man. - Is that, is that crazy? - Well, I don't even have much context for how often. - No, he didn't even know, he didn't know. - Top, bottom, or verse? - Do you have gay friends at all? He has like 10 gay friends. - There's like a million. - Yeah, you have like a lot of gay friends. - Yeah. - He wants to talk about being gay. - Okay. - Well, how often, how often, like, is it rare that someone who is a bottom does not at least experiment with the top? - No, I think it's rare, my mindset. - Yes, your mindset is rare. - Like, I think I'm just. - Rare now. Rare now. - Yes. - It didn't used to be. But like in the, like, 2020 onward. - Yeah. - It's been a whole new world. - It's just like everything's for everyone. - Are you always looking down? - No. I'm always looking for someone to. I'm looking for, like, a top. But when you're. But that means that you're. Well, you. Yeah, always. On your stomach. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Well, you could do another. You could do another. You could be like this. I guess, yeah. Have you ever fucked like that? No. You've never fucked, like, on top of a man, like, this, staring at him? Like, I have. I don't know. Not with my legs spread out like that. Well, how do you do it? You're like this? I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? I think I would be a bottom. Wait, are you like. Yes, of course. Wait, I need to know. How are you sitting? Like, I don't know. Yes, ask, please. Is there a certain personality that follows the top men? You know, I just would like someone that, like, takes care of me, takes care of my life. It's kind of like a dominant, non-dominant. Yes. Leads the way. And I feel very. I feel very dominant in, like, my professional life and, like, my other facets of life. So I like the opposite in my romantic. Yeah, I like that. It's very much like that, I think. Yeah. I wish that men and women had an easy way to just decipher sexual appetite like that. Like, if you. You don't think you do? No, it's. Because you could. Everyone's moving around and taking different. I think you can so tell. Really? You can tell, like, what a girl's into? Yes, usually. You can't tell always. No, but usually it's. Usually, I believe it's like what you're saying. If someone is, like, really dominant in, like, their professional life, they probably want to be more submissive. Well, here's the twist. A woman could be very, like, sexually aggressive, right? But in a way where they're still being dominated. Yes, I know what you mean. Yes. Okay, wait, Jake. You have to guess all of our sexual preferences right now. Not just, like, as a whole. Like, dominant or submissive. Okay, go to him first. I think you're dominant. Sometimes. I think you're submissive. Okay. Oh, you got us flip-flopped. What? Yes. Interesting. So you're submissive. You're not submissive? And you guys are, like, both submissive. No, I think we're both. No, we're both romantic. I don't think romantic is submissive. Okay, it's just very. It's not like. We don't. Neither one of us, like, aggressive, like. Like, we don't like that. I think it's pretty versatile. Check for you guys. Oh, check. You guys, you're real dominant all the time? Anyway. And he is, like. So I would think you would like to be spanked. I have psoriasis. So what is that exactly? Because I remember. I have psoriasis in my butt. You know that balloon? How they have, like, that purple, slimy, back side? Who has that? The baboon? The creature? Like, Rafiki in the, you know. I have psoriasis in my tushy. Rafiki turns his back to, like, the TV audience or whatever. You see the purple. Who's Rafiki? Rafiki of The Lion King. Your joke isn't landing. It's not a joke. You don't know who Rafiki is? He's saying that my ass looks the same as a baboon's. Dominoes, s'mores, lava cakes. Did you guys ever camp? Camp? Like, have you ever been camping? Oh, because of s'mores. Yeah, I have been camping. I have been. Have you? Yeah, I used to do. In college, we used to do, like, an annual camping canoe trip, but I would sleep in the car. I didn't do the tent thing. I was too. You slept in the car? Yeah, every year. The bugs and, like, the. It was, like, the stickiness of the morning. Speaking of stickiness, there's nothing better than. Sticking your mouth on this. Dominoes, lava cakes. Look at this. You guys want to see the goo? Oh, my God. Look. Look at that. Oh, every time it's gooey. You can get three. When you mix and match any. Two or more menu items. You know how I've been doing a lot of online shopping for furniture? Yeah, I see you on Wayfair. Yeah, I go on Wayfair, and then I scroll to the bottom, and you can see all the. All the reviews. And there's, like, pictures, and there's so many reviews, and that's how I decide if I'm going to buy the product. I would never buy a product that wasn't reviewed often, and Wayfair actually has 20 million five-star reviews. And I also have this thing called Wayfair Verified, which is hand-vetted by product specialists with a 10-point quality inspection. Yeah, the reviews are really helpful. You never want to go on anything blind. I'm not buying it unless someone else has put their body on the line for me. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That is W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair. Every style, every home. I know why they call it Wayfair. Why? Because every deal they have on there is Wayfair. Oof. Who's your dream man? I think my dream man is. Well, I used to be I used to. Like someone that like looks like Ashton Kutcher and works in finance. I like the finance guy. I feel like that's so easy to find. You would think so. But like I just don't want somebody that like takes away from like like I like to I don't know. I like to be like the funny one. They can't be funny? Well, no. I would appreciate if they're funny to me. But like funny to everyone? No. Really? Only you can be funny? Well, I don't want them to be funny to everyone because then everyone's going to be laughing at them and not me. But here's what I said to Kristen in our vows. Like I always thought of course I'm going to be like the funny guy in whatever relationship I end up with like blah, blah, blah. I really feel like I said in our vows I said, you know, even though I thought my whole life that I was meant to like entertain the world I realized like maybe my true purpose is that I get to be your audience. Wow. That's so sweet. Do you find dating in L.A. hard? Miserable. Yeah. Miserable. Tell me about the worst date you've had in L.A. The worst date was this guy. We went on a date. It was like fine. So, okay, this is what I'm saying. We split the check. I was like, I offered to split and he was like, yeah. Huh. And he was 26 and I was like 20 and I was like, or 21 and I was like, what? Can I just ask a quick question? The check splitting. See, this is where I'm like I want to be treated like a princess. Yeah. So it falls into the dominant, non-dominant. Yes, it absolutely does. And now, because I make my own money, I'm comfortable enough like getting a check sometimes like had we been on like a second or third date. But on the first one, pay for me. Please. You want that to be like the signal of like here's how the relationship is going to like. Just like I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to look out for you. Yeah. But then like once we get that like courtship out of the way. Yeah. Like we can, you pay for me. I'll pay for you. We'll go back and forth. What's the best date you were last on? It was. Explain the date. It was in New York and we'd been talking for a while and we went out to get a drink and then we met up with two of my best friends at this restaurant in New York to get a drink and we drank there for like three hours and then went out and had a sleepover and woke up and I was like, oh my God, that was the best date of my life. It's your best date? You had a drink? No, but then we met up with my friends and my friends were like, my friends were like, oh, he's so great. He's saying it was the best date and person and connection. Oh my God. Thank you. What do you want? I don't know. I thought it was going to be like you met up with a guy and you had a drink and then you like saw your friend. I thought it was going to be like. A crazy story. Yeah, there was like something like beautiful that happened or like. Have you been in a relationship? No. One time I went on a date and we got stuck in the rain. I guess that was sweet. That's sweet. I like that. Well, what's your perfect man? Early 30s. Older. Yeah, I think so. Because they think they're more mature. Like has a career and is like passionate about it in a sense that like there's a path for them. Yeah. And they like are very focused on that. You want ambition and drive. I mean, I guess, but like I just want them to be good at their job and like. Oh. And like have a life. I want them to have a life and then I want their friends to be normal as well. And then I want them to get along with my friends and like I'd like them to be like five, ten or higher or taller. And then, which is difficult because I'm so short and that's about it. Hey, would you mind sitting on the couch with us? Oh, what happened with the one with Selena? He sent me a rose, right? And then we're messaging. And so his best friend was seeing my best friend, Julia, at the time. And. He said, we should go out with Julia and blank. And I was. Yeah, and I was like, oh, that's kind of weird, right? Like, why are you asking me on a double date we've never been on one date? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was like, you know what? Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever. We go on this double date. It's like actually great. We get along. All is good. Then he's supposed to come to Julia's going away party the following day. He doesn't come because he is like doing other shit. I'm like, whatever. So then he texts me. We text the next morning. And so this is, that date was on a Friday. This is now Sunday. Then Sunday, he's like FaceTime me. FaceTimes me. Showing me around his house. We're like talking for like 30 minutes. Sweet. And then whatever, right? So then I like make a comment over text about like wanting to, because he's like, I leave next week. And so I like make a comment being like, okay, let's go on a date before then. Paragraph back. Being like, wait, no, this wasn't romantic at all. Like I just wanted to hang out as a friend. But he sent me a rose on hinge. But also. So do you see the confusing part? We don't like him. Fuck him. What's his real name? I'm not telling you. Say it. Weep it out. But that was, that was misleading. And also he's on a dating. That's what I'm saying. You don't go on a, yeah. He messaged me on LinkedIn. Yeah, yeah. Messaged me on LinkedIn. You know what that, you know what that was? What? Your fame got involved. Well, I know. That? You think he was just trying to hang out because you were famous? It had to have been. It had to have been. You get a grip men out there and women. Girls do this too. I know. Well, whoever's doing it. I have a few questions. Okay. I have a few questions that popped into my head. Are they hard hitting? I don't know. Are they thought starters? I'm going to forget them if you, okay. Okay. I think I might have already forgot them. Okay, number one. Okay. Who were you most nervous to interview out of any person you've interviewed? Probably Selena. Really? I was really scared. Why? I don't know because I've been watching her since I was a kid so I was like intimidated. Really? You kind of, didn't you kind of come up really fast I feel like? It did happen very fast but yeah, I was most nervous for Selena and I was nervous for, yep, that was the most I was ever nervous. Yeah. To be A, a child, to be a world star, B, be kind of one of the most famous people in the world. She so isn't, like her personality is so normal. It's so not like that. I also thought that when I was speaking to her. Has anyone canceled on you day of? Not day of. Well, day of by accident, but yes, I've been canceled on before many times. Okay, dream. Top three dreams. Taylor Swift. Okay. Jennifer Lawrence. Okay. Ariana Grande. Do you think you're close to getting any three of them? Probably not. You are. I feel like you're really at the top right now. I'm just asking. Well, Taylor doesn't do that. She doesn't do that, so that's why I'm saying probably not. She might do it with you. Here's what I'll say. I didn't even, I became really into TikTok like whatever, 2021, and I would just- That's when I became into it, too. I would see you around on the TikTok. Yeah, but I saw you doing, I would see you with, what's your friend? Brett? No, Sophia. Sophia. Yeah, and then I feel like I just, I like watched you, but not even knowing that I was watching you, just all of a sudden, you've really done a great job of like fully infiltrating. Oh my God, I should be out here all the time. Thank you so much. And you're funny, and you're cool, and you're like authentic, which I think is really nice. Thank you, I try. But I get shut down really easily. By who? Really? No, no, no, no. I'm like saying like, the confidence isn't real. Like you could throw something at me and the entire house will break. Okay, see I fall for- Like do you know what I mean? Like it's like a glass house. Like it looks like I- You're sensitive. I'm confident, but one rock will crush the whole thing. Like you feel you're a sensitive person. Yes, very sensitive. That's hard to be doing what you're doing and be sensitive. Thank you, yeah. Do you guys find yourselves to be sensitive? No, they're like- You're not sensitive I don't know what we mean by sensitive. I'm sensitive, I'm sensitive. You're not sensitive. Well, I can be confident and sensitive. But you just aren't sensitive. This is one of the reasons that we work because sometimes I say things I don't mean or I like yap and I don't think you're that sensitive either, Benny. I'm very sensitive as a person. I think we're defining sensitivity differently. Like personally, like I'm very- Like I like cry all the time. What? Yeah, you have feelings, but like I'm- I feel very deeply. But no, no, I don't take anything personally. My self-esteem is sensitive. Like yours is not- Either one of you are that sensitive. Like your ego or whatever. Yeah, our ego is not like that. My ego is sensitive. My ego is sensitive. Like myself, like I could be working with Dave and either one of us could be like, that's a terrible idea. That's so bad. Go start again. It could be something I worked on for like a month and like I might disagree with him, but if I agree with him, I'm just like, oh, fuck, you were right. Like I'll- The best idea always wins. I don't give a fuck. I don't care if I've been working on something for a year. If someone's just like, this sucks, that I trust their opinion in, I'm gonna like go and like, I don't know. I think we both have our eye on the prize in like a way that's like, that I don't care. Yeah. I just want what's gonna be the best. You guys are healthy. Yeah, they don't care. You guys don't care what people think of you. At all. Do you read comments? Yes. You do? Of course. Why? Because it's there in my face. Of course I'll read them. You read, when you put up a video, right after you put it up, do you start scrolling through the comments? Yeah. But don't you get like, they're probably mostly positive, but then there's always the one. No, you know, I actually went to a post the other day, all negative. Oh, and you read it? So you know, in that moment, I remind myself, thank God, I'm doing my job well enough to the point where people have negative things to say. You bounce back that quickly? From that, nowadays, yeah. But is the negative stuff about your opinion? Yeah, I saw a comment yesterday that was like, he doesn't seem genuine. He's genuine, everyone. Thank you. He's genuine. But I was like, oh my God, am I not genuine? No, you are so deep. Like, it's not like, oh fuck, he's ugly. Yes. I don't know, he just doesn't seem very genuine. Yes, I knew it now. Isn't that insane? That's crazy. Like, for you, that's such bullshit. And that's like your biggest, that's like your biggest insecurity. You're like, I'm genuine. And I was reading it and I was like, am I not fucking genuine? No, I can tell you're genuine. Well, thank you. I think I'm genuine too. Wait, so you still read comments? Of course. On every platform? Yeah, anything I can get my hands on. Pretty much every comment? Pretty much, yeah. That's a lot. What if you get like thousands of comments? I don't. Oh, if a video gets thousands, then I don't. But if it's like a hundred comments, yeah. But aren't you just like numb to seeing all the like nice things now? Does it even make you feel good anymore? It makes me feel good when I read something that's like, this made me laugh because this was this and that. Yeah, specificity of why they like something. This was good because of this and that. So if people give comments and they're specifically calling out like good things, it feels better? How lovely is that? You read? That's so crazy. I know. You shouldn't do it. I don't think it's that crazy. I don't do it. Ever. Well, you also don't watch yourself ever. Like, remember you told me that? Yeah, I don't. You know, like, I don't ever watch anything I've done. So like when I go on your podcast, my manager watches it and then he'll tell me and then I say and then he'll say like, I think we should take this thing out because if I watch it, then I'll start thinking about it or I'll start putting, like I don't ever, so like if I do a photo shoot for like a magazine or something and they're like, hey, do you want to look at any of these? I'm like, no. I only want to look at, no, I don't want to look. What if they like, pick a picture where like your bangs are split? Because it's, things are going to happen and I'm never going to see them again. Like, I don't ever see that. If you were on the cover of Vogue magazine, you wouldn't want to know that your bangs aren't split? I've been on, I've been on the cover of a magazine and I didn't even see what photo they picked. But sometimes they don't let you see. Yeah, but for me, it's like this. Oftentimes they don't let you see. Yeah, there's going to be so many things in your life that are out of your control like that and it just like doesn't matter. It's just like a numbers game to me and I'm like, We're all going to die. And I'm like, okay, if I look bad, That doesn't help me. Oh, it helps me so much. That doesn't help me. Really? We're all going to die doesn't help me because I'm alive now. No, but it helps you. To me, it just like reminds me how insignificant we are. I can't pick up on it because I'm alive and conscious right now so it matters. I think what I struggle with is that my career is based on what people think of me. Yeah. So if people don't like me then I'm doing a bad job at my work as well. Yeah, but you're just not totally genuine. That's just like the one-ish. No, but you're very genuine. That's just the one-ish. Is that like an ingenuine thing to think? Is there any other comment that hit you deep recently? Yeah, I don't know. He seems like a bad person. Tell me some more. Those are such basics. How do you remember them? Because they stick with you. He seems like a bad person, ingenuine. I think somebody called me like, like a, like a, oh my God, what was it? It was so clever. It was like twink demon labubu or something. But like, that's funny to me. So like, I don't know. That stuff bothers me. Like the, you seem like a bad person. Yeah. That's where I'm like, oh my God, am I? But you know you're not so then it's just like next. Well, not all the time. So I'm like, oh my God, am I? No. He seems like, he seems like, he seems like, shut up. It's nice that people even are wondering what you seem like. Are you finding yourself like really like thinking as you're doing your Now I am, yeah. Oh, really? I used to just let it rip. Oh, that's too bad. I know. How do you get back? I don't know because the generation, like you're like, the younger Gen Z is just brutal. Can I say something about Airbnb real quick? Oh yeah. Sure. Kristen, I know that you've been mentioning that you wanted to have some sort of commemorative party with all the guests and I haven't ever believed in that concept until now because I just found this whole Western town. Would you show the community? Oh yeah. Show the community. Who's the community? Just the viewership. I mean, this is a Western town. I would love to do this. This is like you walk around like, you know, you turn this corner, you got Blake Griffin dribbling, you turn that corner, you got Sean O'Malley shadowboxing. And it all has to be Western. Like maybe everybody wears Western themed clothes. Yeah, it's kind of an ask because it's not that close to LA and then we're telling them to dress up, but either way, book a home today on the Airbnb platform. Hey, don't worry. You're still in the right place. We're just starting this moment from here. Because you never know what to expect. But one thing that is going to be important no matter what is that you show up for your friends. Which makes me think of the time that Benny showed up for me when he ordered me DoorDash. Hello, cheesesteak. Thank you, DoorDash. We got crackers. Is that the one you like? It's the one that I think I'm going to like. Oh my God, this is what I wanted. Oh my God, cheesesteak, no onions. Mmm. Mmm. If there was. If there was a God, it would be DoorDash. I love you, DoorDash. We respect you. We respect you. DoorDash makes showing up for the people you love easy. Got you. Deliver DoorDash. Order now. Is he out there? Okay. Okay, before we go outside with Jake, I bought a bunch of stuff off Amazon that reminds me of college. You were just ordering stuff? This is actually good for you, Dave. What is that, a pot? I mean, think about it. It's a ramen maker. Well, gee, you were in a dorm, right? I was in a dorm, and if only I knew that you could make your own ramen in-house and not have to walk to the dining hall, it would change everything for me. I love ramen. I would have eaten it every day. Oh, no, that's mine. Yeah, you might want to tap into your college-age self, too. Look, it's. Oh, that's nice. It's a computer table. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For your ergonomics. I love those. I've never used one in college. They're great for college. You can put your computer right here, and then you can sit in bed, and it just is right over you. Oh, my God. Look what I have here. Oh, wow. 76 for speaker. I couldn't imagine being in college. I mean, obviously, it was pre-King. Yeah, things are different now, now that the King's arrived. Post-King. Let me just say, now that we're talking about the Sixers, LeBron, thank you. Seriously, it means everything. Jack, how'd you get all this stuff so quick? Amazon has, like, an off-to-college section that you can order from. It looks like you're not too old to enjoy this section. Jack, I wish I had this stuff when I. Oh, I didn't even go to college. I wish I went to college. Do you wish you went to college? So I could have some of this stuff. You can have it now. that I could order if I was going off to college. Amazon doesn't check your ID when you make these orders. Are you telling me I could order off-to-college Amazon purchases myself even while sitting in my home as a 38-year-old man? I feel as though you can. All right. - We've just been sitting out there for a while. Let's all go. Sorry, Jake. We're coming, baby. - It's so nice outside. Are we okay to be outside? - Gosh darn right we are. - Shh. - It burnt my, oh, your foot. It's okay. It's okay. - Can I have another? - It went out. - Chuck, will you light it on fire and I try to throw it in your mouth? - Definitely not. - What's your idea of a perfect night out? - Oh my God. Okay. - Or just a perfect night. Perfect night. - No, no, no, perfect night out. - They're pretty similar. - I think I can answer that. - I don't know if they're similar. Let's see. - I have dinner at like 4:00 PM, right? - I'd love to eat dinner early. - With who? - Just like at Postmates. Postmates, 'cause we're all going out for the night. - Oh, oh, oh. - It's like we all have a very big party that we need time to get ready. - Okay, what's your Postmates order? - Like before going out, like maybe like some, just pasta, some easy pasta to eat and just like coat my stomach with bread. - Do you know what Dave calls what you're doing? He calls it laying a base. - Yes. - And he does it every time before he's gonna get, when he was single and we used to like drink a lot you know what he's describing it as perfect night out? - What's that? - Chuck, he's describing the beginning of your perfect night out. He's talking about laying the base. - Oh yeah. - Yeah. - So, but it's 4:00 PM and we are, everybody is invited to, and we are all going to a party tonight. Not only are we going to a party, but it's not, we're not hosting it. A close acquaintance slash friend is. So we're very comfortable going to this party. - Okay. - And then I, we all meet in the kitchen and like, but not only is it just us at the pregame, like, it's a bunch of our friends that are also all invited to the same party. - Yeah. - And then we're all hanging out in the pregame. We're listening to music, playing whatever music we want because there aren't like boys there that want like, you know, like, you know what I mean? Like. - Girl, like you're pumped up. - We're playing Taylor Swift. - Yeah. - We're playing like, we're playing like old, we're playing good music. - Yeah. - And then, then we're all like drinking, drinking. We're like slowly getting drunk. We're making like emotional toasts where we're just like, we really love each other. - That is fun. - We really, we really just love each other. I love you guys. Like, you know, love you, like love you, but like mean it. And then like, we're like, oh shit, we have to go soon. The party started. It looks like everybody in our other social groups that we're seeing are also going. - Are you looking online to see stories? - Like a little, we're seeing people's stories. - I'm really like following along. I'm having fun. - And then we're taking videos, like TikToks. We're taking photos. Like we are having the best time. Like, and I'm like, we are like getting down at this pregame, like dancing, like really, to the point where like I have to freshen up after, 'cause like we're sweating. I have like a possible romantic interest at the party. - Of course. - Oh yeah. - It's not even like where it's, I'm not like, that's out of reach. I'm like, we've met before and like, we vibed. So then we go to this party and it's great. The car ride there is great. It does, it kills us for a little second 'cause like the car rides a little long. So we're like, phew. - You include that in your best notes? - Oh wait, and you're playing music on the bus. You're singing in the car. But then like at one point, someone's like, are we almost there? - I don't know. - Oh yeah. - Yes, and that moment is the worst. So in my dream scenario, that moment doesn't happen. It's like, oh my God, where's the car? - No, but you know when that happens, it's like in the valley and you're just like, are we like, and it kind of stops. - And the mood is just like. - Like the mood goes so down. And then like right when it gets there, you're like, yay! - People are like yawning and you can tell that everyone is kind of like coming out of it. - But this is the perfect party. It's only 16 minutes away. - We're like, hey, hey, hey, hey. - No highway either. - We, everyone we know is there. People that we don't know are there. Like, like, like we're having a great time. Then I see the guy like, and then my night can end one of two ways. One, with the guy or two, like back at my house and we smoke a joint and we order food and then, or sorry, we smoke a joint and go to bed and then wake up. And the first thing we say to each other, first thing. - So happy we didn't order food. - So happy we didn't drunk eat last night. - Yeah. - Oh wow. - So happy we didn't drunk eat last night because it just sets your Sunday up for success. You're like, and you know what? Now I can eat whatever the fuck I want. - Yeah, but drunk eating is so unbelievably fun. - It's so fun, but you wake up and you're just like. - Do you guys gossip the next morning? - Do we? Yeah, of course. But the best is when we gossip about each other, we gossip about each other's faces. - And you're just like, oh my God, you were so stupid last night. - Like, can you believe we did this? - Yeah, yeah. - Like this was, like, you know, and then. - Wow. - That's my dream night. - Sounds like a very fun night. - Are your best friends guys, girls? - Girls, girls. - Girls. - I have a few guy best friends though and they're gay. - Got it. - My favorite thing is like my friends, some of my friends will be like, they'll be like, oh, like we have a gay friend and you have a gay friend. Like they act like just like two gay people have to automatically like each other. - But then like, it's just weird. I don't know. - Every time you interact with another gay man, in that sense, you feel. - No, no, no, no, no. It's just like, if I'm going, I don't know. If I'm going to a party and let's say there's a gay person there. Like that my other friends are bringing. And like, I think he's hot. Like I immediately feel like, oh, that would be nice if that happened. - Yeah, yeah. - And then when it doesn't. - Your expectations. - And then when it doesn't, it's not like I can look to four more gay people. - Yeah. - But you want to know what would make the night actually fucking perfect? - Yeah, what? - I don't go home with a guy. I go home with my friends. I smoke. We go to bed. - And then a guy. - And right before I go to bed, he texts me like, so much fun tonight. - Yeah. - Let's go for a drink. - Oh, I thought you were going to say, so much fun tonight. Come over. - No. - Then you won't. - No, no, I'm tired. - That's too much. - If I'm smoked, it's done. - What's an average weekend, then? - Well, do you want to hear what I did this weekend? - Yeah. - I learned my lines for an audition I had today and I went to bed. - You had an audition today? - Yeah. - Before this? - Right before this. - Wow, how'd it go? - You know, I didn't think it went too well, but I'm okay with that. - Yeah. - I'm happy that I did it. And I'm putting myself out there. - And then you came here and it didn't, like, that would have been hard for me. I think I wouldn't have been able to do an audition and then-- - Well, I was really upset, but then I talked to Louise, who's my manager. And, you know, she's very good at helping me like, be like, this isn't what you're, like, this is what you're upset about. Or just like helping. Lately, I've been making an active effort to compose. To compartmentalize, like, my stuff. So, like, I was coming here. I can't be upset about that. I have to put it away for now. - Yeah. - And I've been really making an active effort to do that. I literally, in my head, I think about Tupperware and I, like, think about putting a thought in it and closing it. - Yeah, no, I've heard of that being, like, a technique. - And that's what I've been doing. - Can I open just the Tupperware? - Yeah. - Just in this particular instance. This was a self-tape, right? - Yeah. - Was it due today? - Yeah. - Okay. - And I did it Friday and I was like, fuck. I'm doing a really bad job at this. And I was kind of dreading having to do it today. - Yeah. - And I'm just happy it's over. - Why do you? - I can't say I didn't do it. I can't say I didn't do it 'cause I was scared I'd be bad. - Yeah. - I did it. - Why do you even feel like it went bad? - I just, it's just how I, it's just how I feel. - Yeah. - I just felt it. And like, but I'm looking on the bright side of things and there's things I learned this time or like certain kinks I got out of the way. This time, next time, I'll be better. - Should we go inside? - Sure. - That would be a lot for me to have an audition and then have to be on a podcast. It's really like- - Thank you. - I forget what it is. - Not a podcast. - Oh, are you, do you have like OCD? - The worst. - And how does it manifest itself? - Like if I posted something and like fucked up the caption when I posted it, the easy thing would be like, just press edit and edit the caption. But my OCD would be like, come up with a whole new caption, delete it and redo it with a whole new caption that will take you 10 minutes to think of. - Yeah. - Just very difficult or you'll have horrible luck and everything will fail and you'll die. - Do you have any rituals? - Yes, but I've gotten better with them. But like, like what, like, stuff in the shower, like I have to move a certain way before turning it off. - Tell me what you have to do in the shower. I'd like to see. - Like I have to like turn around. - Show me what you have to do. - Show us the moves. - So like, the shower will be on and I'll be like, okay, I'm done now. So I'll turn around this way and then turn around this way and turn it off. Because if I don't do that, I will have a horrible day and my friends will hate me and I'll lose my career. - Can you tell, can you tell me another thing you do? - Every time before I shower, I have to bring like my underwear and a towel to a very specific spot in the bathroom. So then right when I get out, and I can't touch, if I, so like right now I don't have a mirror. You know how I have like a shower mirror to shave? - Yeah. - Sometimes I don't. Well, right now I don't because I moved rooms. - Sometimes you don't. - Because I moved rooms. And so I stick my phone there and shave. And so I cannot touch or use my phone until I put my underwear on. And then, and then. - So you're still doing these, you're still keeping up with them? - Yes, yes. It's not as bad. - Are you creating new ones still? - Sometimes, like this phone one is recent. And I, I can't wash, I love to wash my face in the shower. And I can't wash my face in the shower if I don't have a mirror, like a phone or a mirror to look at myself into. I can't just blindly wash it. - Oh wow. - That's a recent one. - But you don't always have that ability. - So then, yeah, it's horrible. I'm telling you. - Like at a hotel, what do you do? - I stick my phone up and I. - Do you know the craziest thing? Do you know, so I wash my, I wash my face in the shower and I wash my face out of the shower. There's two times I wash it a day. But I can't keep the face wash out of the shower. I have to keep it in the shower and I have to walk in, grab it, squirt it, walk back out. And I can't buy another one. And I have other ones, extras. - Wait, I completely understand that. - So I could leave one right there, but I'm not allowed to. - You can't squeeze it outside of the shower. - No, I have to squeeze it in the shower. - Yes, I get it, I get it, I get it. Wow, I feel seen. - I have all these new ones with my wedding ring that are so annoying. - Oh, like what? - Oh my God. So I have to, when I get in the shower, it's insane. I know that I'm gonna have to take my wedding ring off because it's a little loose. I have to get it tightened. So I'm hoping after, but I have a feeling it's still gonna stay even after it's tightened. But I have this thing where I have to start the soaping process, feel it getting loose. Even though I know it's loose, it's loose enough to take off. - I seriously feel so seen by you right now. - And then I have to sit down, I have to sit down, 'cause there's like a ledge that I put on. I have to sit down, put it on the ledge, and I have to sit, I can do it standing up easily, but I have to sit down, put it on the ledge, and then I say a thing to myself. I don't wanna say it out loud, but I say a thing to myself. I'd like you to say what you say. I say. No, I honestly don't want to hear it. I'm scared I'll do it. It's fine. I say, don't forget the ring. Don't forget the ring. And I say it three times. And what? That's crazy. And then, but I don't say it out loud. No, I get it. It's in my head. Oh, I get it. I do that too. No, it's freaky. When I get out of the shower, I take it and I put it back on. And then I do my whole routine out of the shower. But I have to take it off for my routine out of the shower. But I know, I put like this baby oil on me. And I know it's going to be slippery. But I have to keep it on during that. And then I take it off. And then I do the whole thing. And then afterwards, I put my ring back on, knowing that it's still going to be a little slippery. Then I take it off again, wipe it with the towel, and then put it back on. And then wipe it again with the towel. And I have so many. This is a time suck. So do you ever, so doesn't it make you want to do things less? Because you know it. Oh, yeah. So that's what, it makes me lazy. Because I'm like, oh, I know how much I'm going to have to go through to do this task. I'd rather just lay in bed. Yeah. That's what, I used to have it so bad that when I was a kid, like brushing my teeth took off. Oh, my God. I'd have to go brush. And then I'd go on my gums, one, two, three, four. And I had to spit four times. And none of this spit can touch each other. I can't. And then I wash it all down. Do you think that it trickles into, can you not do anything half-assed in life? Do you feel like it makes you really a perfectionist? I think in some senses, yeah. Like, I was really struggling earlier today with my audition. Yeah. Like, if I messed up one word. Yeah. And he was like, no, like, that's how, like, human language works. Like, you don't need to. Right, but you're such a person of, like, obsessive. Well, it throws me immediately. I'll see things in my head. Like, if I don't do, like, something, like, I'll be like, oh, I'm not going to do. Like, I'll go like this. Sometimes I'll be like, oh, I'm just not going to do that. And then, like, I start, like, seeing it over and over again, over and over again. And I can't. It's like a, it's like, and then I'm just like. Okay. It's fine. And I just. His closet is very much, like, I feel like, his closet is, like, pristine. It looks like the nicest, like, the nicest luxury store you could go to. And I walked in yesterday. He was like, don't, it's, like, it's messy. Like, I wouldn't do it this way. Like, it's messy right now. And it was, like, perfectly folded, like, space between each hanger. And I said, well, what would you do different? Like, what's different? He said, well, the, there would have been something filling this space right here. Yeah, I have to, I have to, like, when, when Selena. She doesn't know this, but, like, we had people coming over and they were going to hang. And I said, oh, where, where do you, where do you think we're going to be hanging out? And she, like, wasn't thinking at all. So she just told me. And I was thinking that because I'm, like, I have to clean those areas where they're going to hang. Like, she was like, oh, we're going to hang out in, like, the glam room. And then, like, we might, I might have. And, like, she's just saying it passively. And then I go, and I don't want to make a big deal of it. So, like, I won't tell her, but I'll, like, walk in the glam room and I'll be talking to her. And I'll slowly be picking up all the things and moving. But I don't want to tell her, like, I'm cleaning it at all. And sometimes she'll be like, what are you doing? And I'm like, oh. Do you take Adderall? I take it, like, no. Have you ever taken it to try to mitigate the bad ADD from, like. Yeah, like, I had to write, like, an eight-page thing the other day. And so I took an Adderall. What did you have to write? Eight pages? I, like, interviewed my friend for a magazine. So I, like, had to write the. I've taken Adderall since I was 13. But. It sometimes helps me with my obsessive thoughts. Are you taking it right now? I take it every. I've taken it every day since I was 13. Have I ever met you not on it? Probably not. I take Adderall. I don't have that much ADD, but I have a little bit. Or I've met. I don't know how to quantify it, but I started taking it in high school. And I do think that it, it really does help me. I'd rather live life on Adderall. And it helps me, like, like, you know, I don't really feel the ADD that much. So my issue with Adderall is the comedown for me is really, really, really hard. And it's like, I, like, just get so in my head. Have you tried taking different milligrams? No, because I, I'm so hyper. And I know I can just, I, I know it's not going to work for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it's not going to work for me. I don't like the way I feel after. Yeah. Like, I'll, I like it to, like, if I. Do you mind if I, if, if, if I remove that bottle from your. Oh, I'm so sorry. Was it being loud? Just the way that, the way that the crackling. I just, I, I just am seeing, like, I'm fast forwarding to the edit. And I'm just seeing, why didn't I just say stop crackling the bottle? Stop doing that. I'm so happy you said it. No, but. Because I would have had really bad scaries had I realized it was a problem after. Every time I leave, every time I leave any social. I wonder if you guys, I've never asked the two of you if you have this. But I feel like you have this. What, where you're like, was that a, was that okay? Every, every, it's like, it's like my brain and, like, a high-pitched voice going through, like, every single thing that was said. Every single, like, movement I did. I know, it was, I think it was the committee's breaks. Oh. It was breaks? I've never heard that sound in my, in my life. That was really funny. Thanks, guys. Yeah, that was awesome. That was a good. That was awesome. Wait, you said. You have really incredible comedic timing. He does. He does. Like, it is, you have the gift. He does. Flattery will get you nowhere. Wait, so my parents actually used to say flattery gets you everywhere. Really? Yeah, do you not believe that? My hands are, are. Do you have sweaty palm syndrome? I think so, yeah. You can get Botox in your hands. See, it's sweaty. No, they're not that sweaty. Let me see this one. This one's sweaty. No, it's not bad. Really? I felt sweatier. It's pretty sweaty, but, like, not too bad. What color would you say your hair is? Okay, so, such a good question. I think it's brown. Yeah. But a lot of people would like to say it's dirty blonde. And I think they're ridiculous, but people really stand by it. That looks great. No, I think it's dirty blonde. Do you actually think it's gray? I gotta tell you, if I could only pick one word, like, one color, I would say red. Fucking. I would say red, too, because there's a group of people that believe that, too. It's not red. It's between red and brown. But it looks almost like, it's like, what? You guys are saying things. No, no, no, it's, like, cool. It's like charcoal. Yeah, it's like, okay. I don't think, you guys, it's just dirty blonde. It's kind of like the color of your hoodie. Like, it's lighter. So, yes. No, it's a lighter version. To me, it's, like, a mixture. No way, it's both your pants and your hoodie combined. So, should I dye it? No, it looks cool. It looks cool. It looks like it's already dyed. Can I see? Can you take a photo of it? I want to see. Okay. Or show me, like, a mirror. Can you mirror your phone? No, I want to take a photo. It's got a sheen. It looks healthy. It is healthy. I do have healthy hair. It does look like both of these. Fuck. I see what you guys are talking about. It does look good. It does look good. No, it's, wow, that's a good picture of you. No, I actually don't hate it. Do you like the picture? I like how my face looks. Yeah. You have, like, it's so chiseled right now. Your jaw is, like, almost looks like, like, you put that filter on. Oh, my God, do you mean it? I swear, doesn't it? Yeah, you've said it multiple times, so I do believe you. I think he means it. I do believe you. It's, like, turning me on. Really? Yeah. Oh, I feel so. Well, you just spit on me, so maybe a little less turned on now. Can I talk to you about eBay Live? I would love if you talked to me about eBay Live. eBay Live, it's got the capabilities now. I mean, this is, look, let them see. This is live. That's cool. This is happening in front of everybody. I feel like this is where eBay belongs. Like, they've been, this is eBay. It's good that they're continuing to add on, add on. Add on, keep building, keep growing, keep changing. Keep changing, keep evolving. Keep having fun. A little bit of bit on something? Yeah, I would love that. What do you want? A sports card. Something. Rookie? Something rookie. Yeah, I could use something rookie right now. I don't even know. Baseball? Yeah, what do you want? Oh, honey. Oh, honey? Did you say, oh, honey? Isn't it, oh, honey? Oh, you're talking about, oh, I thought you said to me, oh, honey. Oh, honey, like. No, I was. Oh, honey. eBay Live is live. Interactive shopping on the eBay app. Watch live, shop live. This episode was sponsored by BetterHelp. Chuck, how has your definition of taking care of yourself changed or evolved over time? When I was younger, I couldn't see things from a macro level. I had to see them, like, right in front of me. And it's so, it can be so overwhelming trying to conquer all these things, like, right next to you without being able to pull out and see, like, the broader scope and the full. Forest trees. Yeah, see the forest through the trees. And I think therapy really helped me not only do that, but gave me the tools that when I am stuck down on that ground floor, I can really, like, reach into my bag of tools through CBT and help get me to a better place. I love that. The time is always right to start taking care of yourself. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash FKS. That's BetterHelp.com slash FKS. What's the most vain thing? What's the most vain thing you've ever done to yourself? My entire life, I feel like, is, what does vain mean? Yeah, I can tell you're not very genuine. I'm just kidding. Vain means overly concerned with your physical appearance and did something, like, that's, like, I used to bring, I used to sneak a little thing of makeup into my pocket in high school and I used to take Q-tips and take my mom's makeup and load up with enough to last for all the pimples that I might have and I'd go to the bathroom in the middle of class and I would dab the thing and then I'd go back in there and it was, like, a whole ordeal that no one, I never even, I don't think I've told anyone that. I didn't. You never said that. Yeah. Wait, and. So one time I put sun in my hair? No, you, like, like, lasering your pubes is, like, vain. Yeah. Yeah, I guess laser. That's not vain. I don't know, it makes me comfortable. My dick has hair all the way up. It sucks. Yeah, his dick has hair up to the actual head. My dick would grow a fucking full beard all around the shaft to the head if I didn't shave my shaft. Yeah, because his dick's made of nuts. Yeah, my dick's fucked up. Did you not know his dick was made of nuts? Like, your skin. Among other things. that your balls are. penis is made of. In parts. In parts. You're lying. I've had surgeries on my dick as a baby, like, maybe. me so sexually insecure for my whole life. Are you sexually insecure? It's beyond. Why? How could you not be? I just am. I haven't had it. I don't know. You just need someone to make you feel comfy. No. Really? Maybe I think that is what I need now. No, that is what you need. But that won't save it. What do you mean it saved you? Yeah. Oh, me? I saved you? I don't feel sexually insecure when we hook up at all. I feel very confident and good. You've always kind of been confident sexually in my experience with you. Hey. Hey. I was going to say something, but it's so stupid. Say it. I was going to say, what's your rose and your thorn? Of this hangout? Yeah, of this hangout. Fuck, marry, kill of the three of us. I like both of those. I don't want to play that game. No, you have to. I don't want to play it. It's inappropriate to say you have to say who you'd fuck in front of. It's weird. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. That's my bad. So I'm going to do rose and thorn. And bud. Bud is what you're looking forward to, but everybody has to do it in here. Bud? Bud? Yeah, it's budding. It's what you're looking forward to. You don't understand. Sorry. So I'll start off bad. My thorn is when I went to go pee, right before I went pee, I was like, I hope I didn't say anything stupid. And then my rose was you, every single time you tell me I lost weight, it's a feeling unlike anything I've ever experienced. And then my bud, my bud is I am really excited to go to dinner tonight. Okay. What's your rose, thorn, and bud? Thorn is just my thoughts the entire time. I get it. I get it. I've been in a little bit of a funk. I get it. My rose is right now. Oh, I'm like, why? I don't know. I just feel happy right now. Oh, okay, good, good, good. Yeah. That's my rose. I thought it was because it was ending. Oh. What's your bud? Maybe. No, not really. And then my, I don't, my bud? Oh, dinner. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. What are you going to have? I don't know. I was just going to. I made a Japanese curry. Wow. How delicious. If I could have some of that, that would be my bud. Great. Your turn. I think my rose, well, it's too macro of a rose, but I really, I really didn't know you and didn't, I was just, I feel really enjoying hanging out with you, so on a global level, my rose. My rose is just meeting someone cool and fun that I like. If you know, I feel that same way with you as well. My thorn? Uh-huh, okay. Was when you were gripping the bottle. Okay, that's fine. And you know what? It was pissing me off. I think I expressed. And you said something. It didn't even piss me off. If we weren't, you know, trying to capture the content, I wouldn't care at all. Right. No, but it was a problem and it's. And that's it. We're done. My. Well, he has to get this. I'm joking. My rose was eating the octopus. It was good. Well, it actually might be my thorn. It was my rose. Unfortunately, it scared me. It was a little. Actually, no. Do you know what my true rose was? I was a little bit too high right before we started this. And Dave saved me with fizzy cola stale things. Looks like Dave's making a brand new thorn right now. He lost his phone. You don't need your phone in this very moment. I would say I got too high because it's new weed. I've never smoked this weed before. Yeah, what weed was this? We don't like this weed. Who cares? You know, you're with the two people that text you. No, I know, but I was going to look up something that was kind of a full circle thing. Oh. The bud and my bud, my bud is actually taking our relationship a little bit further. Do you know that I was going to add that to my bud as well? I really think I'm excited to actually become friends. I can't tell if you're being genuine or not. No, I am. Fuck you. Or if you're just like not an actual genuine person. Shut up. I am excited to become friends. Me too. Like actual friends. Kristen, why are you laughing? Because I'm just laughing. Do you look up the full circle moment? Tendrils doesn't mean what I thought it meant. Oh. It's like a plant. No, octopi do not have tendrils. They have tentacles. Yeah, that might be what I was confused about, I think. Wait, they don't have tentacles. All right, guys, that was a great podcast. And we're done. Not a podcast. That was so fun. I didn't know they didn't have tentacles. That was great. Yeah. Thanks for having me. You're a pro. This episode is brought to you by Domino's. Thank you.