The Idiots Of The Internet Won't Go Away!

Welcome back to Idiots of the internet, your favorite internet series of idiots. Nobody talk about the stains on my sweater, okay? That's how the shirt came. It was free. We got it when we did a show at the Met in Philadelphia, and it's covered in like pizza stains or something. I don't know what the fuck it is. That's Philly for ya. Let's move forward. Taxidermy, black bear and squirrel, arm a dildo. Arm a dildo, although that is probably a good name for a dildo that is the size of an arm. Which I know that there are a few people out there that would be interested in something like that. Taxidermy is when you stuff a dead animal, right? So technically that's an actual arm a dildo, I assume. Yeah, I think this is one of those animal, hello. This is one of those animals that we should extinct. Is that a verb? Also, $500 for a, for an arm a dildo? Oh, it's a black bear, a squirrel, and an arm a dildo. Oh, okay, for $500 now, we're entering, this is a steel territory here. Yo, it's gay if you tell your boy how you feeling, like if you sad and shit? Yeah, dude. Telling your boy is like, yo, I'm just not doing well, is gay. It's much more manly to just suppress it all and then scream into your closet at night. Take out that fucking childhood trauma on your kids when you have some. You know what I mean? Scream at them, make them cry, make them hate you. Just keep the cycle going, okay, that's what real men do. What are you going to do, go to therapy, gay. I thought it was like a constipation camp, constipation camp, you know, like in World War. I love how no, like specifying whether it was World War one or two, it's just like in World War. Like a constipation camp, constipation camp, that's insane. It's a camp where they, they bring you and just feed you a lot of fiber and people teach you how to shit. Or something, if you're constipated, you got to go to camp. I did those two summers and constipation camp, it was unbelievable. They just feed you figs all day and you take a shit. Used autistic guitar, okay, it's an acoustic guitar, but if it is an autistic guitar, then maybe it's incredible. Because sometimes there is a little crossover when people have like a certain type of autism. They're like amazing at piano or or something like that, which is like a real thing. I'm serious, it just makes you really good at a guitar for only $20. I mean, I would definitely buy that, to be honest with you. Also, any guitar for $20, we're talking about a steel of the century here, okay. You can't buy a eucle lately for that much money. So definitely hop all over this and pray to God that there's some autistic magic within the strings. Whenever I see a cute girl in a real chair, what in a real chair, whenever I see a cute girl in a real chair, I think does her vagina work or just her legs are broked? What is God? Whenever I see a cute girl in a real, oh, a wheelchair, not a real chair, a wheelchair. I think does her vagina work or just her legs are broked? Uh, fair question. Insane way to ride it though. Insane way. I don't have an answer for you. It is possible that her vagina works and her, and she's paralyzed her leg. I don't think your legs have to be broken. They could be, you know, some other stuff, but I don't know. I imagine it varies case by case. It's a interesting, you know, observation, I guess. Not the best messenger in the world, but I need to work on that. Here we go. About me. A rear, a rear bread of man. Not a rare breed, a rear bread. A rear bread of man, the one whose dose not complain about equality in the world, but one who actually dose something to make things better. Are you even listening to this man? A dose, something to make things better. 19th century man, traped inside of young body, a soul oldest time. This guy's soul is as old as the creation of time, okay. I don't use social media. If I need to look check the time, I most likely won't look at my phone, but on my wrist, where my watch is located, and not that new. What are we doing, where are we? You know what I'm saying? I am giving this a full F, okay? You have failed the test. The last part of that, I have no idea. If I want to check the time, I'll look at my wrist, where my watch is, and not that new. What does that mean? You have an old watch? He's got a vintage watch on his wrist, and he's traped. Traped. Absolutely traped inside the body of a young man, you know, just a soul as old as time. This feels like English is either your 19th language, or maybe you are that old. I don't know. A rear bread of man, the one who does not complain about equality in the world. Oh, inequality. Oh, he doesn't complain about inequality in the world. Yeah, you should be complaining about inequality. The fuck is happening. I imagine this guy didn't get many swipes there on Tinder, I imagine. That, honestly, that bio, whoop my ass, that shit took me for a ride, so that was tough to read. All right, before we move forward to this video, we do have a sponsor for today, and that is Rocket Money, Rocket Money is an all-in-one personal finance app that's going to what? Put money back in your pocket, okay? There's over 5 million members, and they're saving on average, like $720 a year or something like that. How are they doing it? I'm going to tell you, Rocket Money is going to help you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, okay? We all do it. We're all guilty of it. We signed up for a free trial months ago or years ago, and we've been paying for it. We have no idea. Or you've been paying for something that you don't even really use. So when you go and you use Rocket Money, you're like, you know what? I actually don't use that very often. I'd rather have the $12 back in my account, all right? So that can happen a few times. 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If it's dark red, you might want to stay away from those. Those are like overpriced. They let you know. They're pretty, what's the word? Transparent with that sort of thing, okay? That's why we like Seekheek. But baseball seasons and full effect. The football season honestly is right around the corner as well. So you can get the app, get yourself going, and also we're going to save you some money. You can save 10% off of any tickets that you buy on Seekheek when you use the Code Joe 10, okay? So whenever you're buying tickets to something, you want to save 10%, you could thank all Joey here. So go download the Seekheek app, pick the tickets that you want, put in that Code Joe 10, and you will save 10% off your tickets instantly, okay? So go download that Seekheek app, tell them I sent you, put in that Code Joe 10 and save 10%. All right? You're welcome. My niece, I will share my fortune with you. I have gotten this email 1,000 times, usually from a Saudi prince who's like, "I want to give away $10 trillion and you're the lucky one." Hello, Dearest Caroline Lambert of Eden Prairie, Minnesota of America, absolutely fucking not, dude, okay? If you are in certain name of something, you better be British royalty. You don't get to be your name of something from fucking Minnesota, dude, absolutely not. That's not how that works at all, okay? This is I, your great uncle of your father's side, who is this? Is there a Sultan living in the prairies of Minnesota? Your family have never mentioned me to you, for I have been banished by your father, for I am too successful, and he has found it quite unpleasant due to embarrassment and jealous qualities. Honestly, this guy's got me now. I, however, have always considered you my true niece, and want to share my vast riches with you. Please provide your banking account number and routing number at the earliest convenient. So I may share vast wealth into your account. I am, of course, family, of course, it's me, uncle, he hasn't even said his fucking name. True blood family, and I will not keep my riches for only myself. What a nice guy, dude, what a nice guy. Thank you kind Caroline, I love you dearly, always have. At 136 in the afternoon, he's sending this fucking email, are you kidding me? A fine labyrinth of Eden Prairie, Minnesota of America. Okay, too crazy for me. Don't share your banking account info, okay, I'm pretty sure your dad didn't banish it. His brother, because it became too successful. Think about how many people have fallen for this. There's an old woman somewhere like, oh my god, my uncle is trying to send me money. The hell is this Obamination? It looks like someone glued a topper over a sedan. I don't know what any of this sentence means to be honest with you. I know they're trying to say abomination, but I don't know what a topper is. but also this fucking car looks insane, dude. This looks like four cars glued together somehow. What are the tires even? I don't even understand the tires. None of this makes sense. The side mirror, I thought, would be bigger than that. Is there two side mirrors? What's going on here? This car is broke just like that girl's legs earlier. Yeah, I wouldn't get inside this thing. I actually had a car, when we were growing up we had a car that sort of looked like this and it smelled like shit, I remember that. Oh my God, I am in awe. The bed and bedding is so comfy. I can't believe we didn't purchase before. Isn't awe like rocks or something? What is that? I am in awe, I'm in awe, I'm in awe. Oh my God, I am in a bunch of rocks. Isn't what awe, isn't that what that is? I don't even know why I know that. I think I like played runescape back in the day and they had awe. Oh my God, I am in a rock containing one or more valuable minerals. This bed and bedding doesn't sound too comfortable if you're laying in rock. I don't know how firm people like their mattresses but is what it is. Bro, why did you make your hair like that? No, you have a receipt, I just said receipt dude. You know it's crazy that it's so much easier to know the word receding than how to spell receipt. Like that word's very hard to spell. Like that's one of those words that used to fuck me up. That Wednesday, I still to this day, when I spell out Wednesday, I say wedness day. Business, I say business. Do you do stuff like that in certain words? When I write LMAO, when you write LMAO, what do you say? Like in your head, how do you pronounce that? You say LMAO? I say Lambo, LMAO. No, I say Lambo. I don't know why. It's in my head, I'm reading Lambo. Stupid. I don't know, but I couldn't even read it. So I don't know how much that says about me. You know, even if you're wearing a bowl of proof vests, bowl of proof, you know, even if you're wearing a bowl of proof vests, which he does all the time, you would still wind up with fractured ribs and thighs. Oh and things, nevermind. Dude, I cannot, cannot read today for some reason. Bowl of proof vests is nuts. Okay, that's not even close. Bullet is one word. It's very simple. There's a double letter in there. There's just not much to it. I don't know why you can't understand that. But it is true what this person is saying. If you're wearing a bowl of proof vests and you get shot, you can still break a rib. And that hurts like hell. And I know that because I accidentally broke my mom's rib when I hugged her too hard on Super Bowl Sunday about 10 years ago. Yeah, I broke her rib. It was fucked it. She was hurt. She was hurting for months. I was a fresh off a keg stand, went upstairs. So my mom had this like overwhelming feeling of love and I grabbed her and I broke her fucking rib. Sorry, mom. Should have wore a bowl of proof vest. I couldn't find the oven mitts. Are you stupid? It's going to burn right through. I did call the amber lamps. Is that a piece of bread? Yo, honestly, is this stupid? This is belong in the video or is it kind of genius? No, like if you had to take that out, but you had no mitts and you were starving, can you take a piece of bread and do it? Like, would that work? I think it might work, bro. You got to call the amber lamps for that, I think so. But the bread thing, that might be good. That might be, that I don't see my work. I don't know. Did my school sort of pizza bites? No, I don't think so. My parents served them. That's for sure. The worst part about pizza rolls is that it's just like a minefield. I mean, you pick one up and they're either 400 degrees Kelvin, or they're frozen. And you're biting into an ice cube and cracking your teeth. It's hard to tell which one you're getting. And sometimes you bite into them and there's nothing in it. It's just like, who is making it? What factory is making it? I've literally, I've had a bag of those once and like, a third of them had no cheese or anything in them. I'm just eating whatever the fuck those are made out of. Oh, there you have it folks. Some more idiots out there. Me included, not being able to read today. That's something. But don't forget to subscribe. All right, we got new videos every other week on this channel. So go subscribe, go tell your friends, go tell your mom, and that's it. We'll see you guys next time.