The Hidden Link Between Intelligence and Depression

Welcome back to another episode of the self work podcast. This is episode 23 and in today's episode I want to talk about something that I've been researching heavily recently. Did you know there's a link between intelligence and depression? I went down this rabbit hole for the last couple days and it actually answered a lot of things that I had in the back of my head. It also confirmed a lot of beliefs that I had which I want to share with you guys. I have someone who would class themselves as intelligent. I do pride myself in having a high standard. I noticed that growing up there was always something different about the way my brain worked. I was a kid that used to ask a lot of questions that most people never really asked and I always wanted to know why things were the way they were. Why are people the way they are? Why does the world even operate like this? But here's the thing I used to get into a lot of trouble when I was younger. Not even for the usual stuff but because I was curious. Of course I was a bit naughty. I got suspended many times by the way even in primary school many times in secondary school. But when I looked but it wasn't just because I was misbehaving it was because I used to ask too many questions. I had this rebellious mindset which wasn't necessarily great. I used to ask why are we doing this or why is this I think? Why is it that we have to do this and not this? And I used to get into a lot of trouble and I realized pretty early on that people don't like it when you ask a lot of questions. People will tell you to be curious until you are curious and then they shut you down. They will say oh why being so complicated just do as you're told. People hate it when you question the program because the moment you start asking why you're no longer following it. You're thinking and thinking disrupts the system so from young I started to notice that curiosity isn't always rewarded. For the most part is punished. You start getting labeled as the disruptive one, the weird one, the complicated one and I was labeled this by family, school, even to some extent friends and that really stuck with me because I never really related to my siblings not in that way at least. I never really related to most people around me. I always felt like my brain was tuned to a slightly different frequency and as I got older I realized something deeper. The more you know the more you start seeing cracks in everything, the more you understand the world, the less stable it feels and with that awareness come something I wrote about years ago in my journal. Something I call the depressive shadow that I want to share with you guys. It's this idea that no matter how much I learn, no matter how much I grow, no matter how much I achieve, there's always this quiet heaviness that follows me. It's not sadness, it's not hopelessness, it's awareness that weighs heavily. So let's get into it. Now, this next part, why I call the depressive shadow is probably one of the most vulnerable things I've ever said on this podcast. For as long as I've been alive, my baseline emotion, the thing I always go back to even when everything is going right is depression. And before you jump to conclusions, I don't mean this in the stereotypical sense. I'm not talking about waking up late, not going to the gym, letting go of myself. If you know me, you know I take pride in keeping my standards high. I like to look good, smell good, dress well, eat clean, stay ambitious. That part of me has always been intact. What I'm talking about is something quieter. A lot of people cannot really explain this but I will, I'll try to articulate it in the best way possible. It's a heaviness that never really leaves, it's not sadness, it is awareness and knowing. No matter how much I grow, no matter how well life is going, there's always this shadow that follows me around. And over the last few years, I've made peace with it because once you've seen too much, you can't unsee it. You can't go back to innocence and you definitely can't go back to ignorance. I've thought about this deeply. It's almost like the world is designed to reward ignorance because ignorance gives you peace. Ignorance gives you comfort. I've had this conversation with so many people, friends, family, even colleagues. And what's mad is that every single one of them said the same thing. They're content, they're happy just existing. And let's separate something here though. There's a difference between situational depression and what I call a depressive shadow. Situational depression is simple. You sleep, lay, you eat junk, you're not leaving the house, you waste your time, you avoid responsibility. That's a lifestyle issue. Change those inputs and your mood will follow. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the people who are doing things with their life. You've got a job, you're in shape, you've got hobbies, you might even travel but deep down there's this quiet emptiness because you're not really seeking what life's about. You're just kind of going through the motions. I remember asking people like that, people in decent positions, people doing okay. Don't you feel depressed, like just not wanting to do more, not wanting to conquer. That word conquer used to live in my vocabulary. Don't you want to take over the world? I used to ask everyone this. And then look at me like, now bro, I'm good, I'm comfortable, I'm happy. You're just the weirdo, go find your own group. What's interesting is I was the one chasing all of these big things, I was the one trying to learn more, do more, be more, and yet I was the one feeling that depressive shadow. It never made sense to me, but now I get it. The more you don't question the world, the more you just live in it. For example, you go to work, you get married, you buy that house, you travel, you post your pictures, and you feel okay. That's because your brain doesn't challenge anything. When your brain doesn't stop analyzing, when you're constantly connecting dots, life starts to feel heavier. I've gone down every rabbit hole imaginable. How money works, how politics works, how the entertainment industry works. And every single time I learned something new, I felt like I lost another layer of peace. Let me say that again, every time I learned something new, I felt like I lost another layer of peace. Because the more you learn, the more you realize that the world is scripted. Politics is scripted. Entertainment is scripted. Even sports is scripted. And I'm not going to go deep into any of these, but there's always a system operating behind the curtain. It's very hard to live freely when your mind keeps seeing patterns that most people ignore. That's what I mean by the shadow. It's not hopelessness, it's not misery. It's just the realization that the world isn't as bright as people pretend it is. Humans, no matter how much they talk about love and kindness, are still driven by self-interest. There's an argument, I think it's called egoism versus altruism, where people argue are humans, or is they even a selfless act? And most people argue otherwise, they believe every selfless act usually has a hidden return. Even if it just means feeling good, you help a charity amazing. But if it makes you feel fulfilled, there's still self-interest involved. You help a homeless person, you feed someone, you're doing a good deed, but you still get that warm internal reward. So even goodness itself has a layer of ego built in. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but that's what happens when you analyze everything. And when you think deeply enough, you start seeing through everything, you start seeing layers inside layers. And that awareness, it is a blessing, but a curse at the same time. Because once you see it, you can't unsee it. You can't go back to the bliss of not knowing. It's like being awake in a world that's half asleep. And that kind of consciousness doesn't come without a curse. Because once you start noticing the pattern, the corruption, the manipulation, the falsehood, you start to feel detached, like you're watching the world rather than living in it. And that's something I've spoken about for a long time. Sometimes it genuinely feels like I'm watching the world from a distance, observing how people have become so lost in distractions, how people just believe everything they see online, how people accept narratives without question. It blows my mind how many people have fallen for this illusion that men and women hate each other. When if you look deeper, the whole divide has been systematically engineered. You start to realize how people are being programmed through short form content, through echo chambers, through outrage, culture, and you're just sat there thinking, wow, how did everyone become this stupid? And that's why I always say my baseline isn't sadness. It's awareness that weighs heavy. It's the burden of seeing too much and not knowing how to switch it off. And this actually brings me to something I learned recently that honestly made everything click for me. I was watching this psychologist break down how intelligence isn't really about how smart you are. It's about how fast you learn. That's all IQ actually measures learning speed. How quickly you can absorb information on form patterns. I want to heard that everything suddenly started to make sense because that means intelligent people, people who learn fast don't just learn the good things quickly. They learn everything quickly. They learn pain quickly. They learn rejection quickly. They learn shame quickly. Think about it. Someone with average intelligence may need five rejections before they start developing the belief I'm not good enough. Someone with high cognitive ability may need only one. One bad experience, one heartbreak, one betrayal, one failure, and their brain learns it instantly. And that's why I think sometimes the people who survival even thrive in this world aren't necessarily the most intelligent ones because there's something about having mid to low intelligence that keeps you moving. Ignorance protects you. That's why sometimes you come on the internet and they push his narrative that the people who create businesses and become millionaires aren't necessarily that smart. There's a certain idea within that that I get which is the elimination of overthinking. You don't over analyze things. But when you don't process things too deeply, you just keep going. But when your brain learns lessons too fast, when it absorbs pain at the speed of light, it starts coding those experiences into beliefs. And that's been my experience my whole life. I learned quick, but I also internalized quick. If something hurts me once, my brain builds a pattern around it. And before I even realize that pattern becomes a belief and that belief becomes an identity. And that's where the curse really lies. Being intelligent means you form associations fast. And when those associations are based on pain, they become hardwired. I'll tell you something I noticed about myself. When I was younger, I used to crave emotional connection like real honest connections with people. But after each disappointment, I learned very quickly that connection comes with risk. Every time I got hurt, my brain was like, see, this is why you shouldn't rely on people. And I became hyper individualistic as a byproduct. That was my biggest lesson growing up. Never depend on anyone depend on yourself. And by the grace of God, that mindset got me through a lot. I've solved most of my problems on my own. But at the same time, it also built this wall around me. Almost like a self-protection system that made it hard to trust, hard to lean on people. And that's why the work I do now, this whole self-work thing matters so much because I know what it's like to form painful associations fast. And I know how long it takes to unlearn them. So everything I teach comes from that same place. While most people are still learning to move on, you're busy analysing the lesson before the wound itself has even closed. That's the double edge sword of high learning speed. You evolve quickly, but you also absorb quickly. And without emotional regulation which I talk about all the time, your brain becomes your worst enemy. There were times I actually hated my own thoughts. I had catch myself thinking things that didn't even sound like me. All kinds of crazy ideas would run through my mind and I'd wonder where is this even coming from. Where ultimately comes from awareness, from knowing how chaotic, how corrupt, how unpredictable the world really is. Because when you see everything, you can't help but imagine everything. And that's the big thing. And here's the part that really hit me. Your emotions move slower than your intellect. Your mind races ahead while your emotions are still trying to catch up. And that gap between what you know and what you feel, it's where the depression lies. That's why some of the most high functioning people on this planet are often advised to pause and process their wins. Because a lot of them are running from pain. They're motivated by depression, by fear, by unsolved emotion. They don't want to slow down because slowing down would force them to feel everything that they've been avoiding. And that's why underneath all the success, you often find emotional dysfunction. They look driven, but what they really are is unprocessed. And it's not that they're broken or you're broken. It's just that your mind and your heart are running at two completely different speeds. When you're constantly ahead mentally but lagging behind emotionally, life starts to feel like an endless chase you can't win. So I guess the real question then becomes how do you slow your brain down enough to let the heart breathe? Because awareness without peace becomes torment in this world, which is why most people that have this analytical mind, high cognitive ability, suffer and they don't quite know how to solve it. Something that just came to our mind that I find very interesting and kind of funny is how the world always praises intelligence until it makes people uncomfortable. When you're young, they'll tell you, ask questions, be curious. But the moment you start asking questions, they don't have the answers to suddenly you're too much. And echoing what I said earlier, I felt that very deeply growing up. Like, rise to the most random questions and teachers would always tell me, Ahmed, just listen, don't overcomplicate it. And that used to frustrate me because in my head, I wasn't trying to be rebellious. I wish parents school teachers understood that when a child asks a question, they are not being rebellious, they're just trying to understand. But then again, I learned early that most people don't actually want to understand. They just want to maintain the illusion that they already do. And when you start questioning that illusion, you make them uncomfortable. Then the labels come, you know, disruptive, argumentative too much. I remember in my own house, I'd always be labeled as the one who isolates themselves. But the reality was, I was just misunderstood. I didn't relate to them, not because I didn't love them, but because my outlook on life wasn't really embraced. Even in class, same story, you start to realize that you don't relate to most people and eventually you face two choices. Either you keep being misunderstood or you learn how to blend in. And I'll give myself credit for one thing. When I was reading about all of this, I came across how people with high intelligence or awareness often become introverted with drawn and separate from the world. But I kind of took a different route. I realized, okay, if the world isn't celebrating my differences, let me learn how the normies think. Let me understand the psychology of ordinary people. So I became good socially. I learned how to laugh with people, how to make people feel comfortable. And that's what stopped me from isolating physically, even though mentally I was still on my own. But here's the thing, when you're real depth intimidates people, you start living half truths. You start sharing the surface version of yourself because the full version makes people feel uneasy. There's something I massively relate to. There's a lot to me, but sometimes in society where we're surrounded by shallow people, the rise of anti-intellectualism, you can't even have a proper conversation with someone without them saying, oh, that's cringe, oh, without them completely dissociating. And that's what I realized happens to a lot of people who think deeply. You end up surrounded by people who can't meet you at your level, so you shrink, you play smaller, you blend in. And that's where the mental isolation starts to creep in quietly. You go from being expressive to being reserved, you go from asking questions to just nodding along because it's easier to be misunderstood for your silence than mocked for your curiosity. No one likes to be mocked, but it's the paradox, the less you share the more misunderstood you become, so you can't even win. You either suffocate your thoughts or scare people with them. And that's why I always say intelligent people or let's say deeply aware people often end up isolated. It's not arrogance, it's just mismatch. When your brain moves faster than most people, you start to feel like no one really gets you. It's not that you're better or worse, it's just that you have different bandwidths. And that's why isolation isn't always about being alone. Sometimes it's being surrounded by people who just don't speak your language. And I realized that early on, I chose to meet people where they were, not because I wanted to be fake, but because it's easier than always being the deep one. I don't know if any of you guys can relate to this, but when you're always deep, you find it hard to relate to surface level people, but you have to learn to be versatile. And that doesn't mean the people around you are done by the way. It just means you end up lowering your bandwidth so you can easily connect. But here's the crazy thing, the world actually needs people who see Depart because if everyone's asleep, who's going to turn the lights on? And sometimes the painful part of being that light is that you're often standing in rooms where no one else can see what you see. And that's where loneliness starts and that loneliness stays with you. It never fully goes away, which is why I've always found it hard to have emotional connection. I can be a friend, I can laugh with you, I can go out with you, be the life of the party, but that's all surface level because the truth is that funny, unserious version of me was a coping mechanism. If you'd ask anyone from our past, they'll tell you yeah, Dino was hilarious, always cracking jokes, never took life serious, but what they didn't know was that was survival. That was me performing to feel included. That was me trying to fit in just enough to not feel like an outsider. And that's exactly why the depressive shadow has always followed me because deep down I wasn't really being me. I was just playing the role that kept me safe. And now only in the last two years have I been able to slowly spread my wings and the depressive shadow is getting smaller and smaller. I want to actually add another layer to this because being intelligent is one thing, but being ambitious on top of that, that's where the real chaos begins. I believe the most lolliest people in the world sit at this three-way intersection of high intelligence, ambition and depression because you don't just see the world clearly, you also want to contribute and change it. And that's where the complexity lies. You're fighting against your own chemistry the whole time. You've got this fire in you constantly pushing you forward. I should be doing more, I should be further ahead. And then there's this other part of you that I love you guys, are probably going to relate to this where you also tell yourself, bro, I can't even get out of bed today. So you live in this tug of war between drive and I guess depletion. And the crazy thing is people don't see it because on the outside you look like you've got it together. Your productive articulate consistent, maybe even successful, but in the inside your text, there's this thing that I've been vocalizing for a long time, which is intellectual people and people that have their life together are almost always not really looked at as people who need support because in your head, you may be thinking, Oh, he's got his life together. He doesn't need any emotional support. He's meant to health is probably great, but that's the unfortunate reality because these people are heavily relied on to change the people beneath them, but sometimes that person needs help. There's almost this invisible tax that depression places on everything you do. Every action costs you more energy than it costs the average person when you are highly functioning, ambitious and have depression. Making food, for example, may cost someone 10% of their energy. It costs you 40%. Showing up to work, may cost someone 20%, it costs you 80%. And no one sees that tax. That's why you start feeling guilty when you're not doing enough. You start thinking maybe I'm lazy, but you're not lazy or just overcharged. You've been taxed heavily by your mind state. And what makes it worse is that your mind still functions like a high performer. You still have the same goals, the same plans, the same vision, but your body doesn't cooperate. Your mood doesn't cooperate. And that mismatch between what you expect of yourself and what you currently give, that's where the self hate starts to creep in. You start thinking, I know better, but why is it that I can't do better? And that's the trap of being smart and depressed at the same time. Your awareness becomes your own enemy because you can see the patterns of your own dysfunction, yet you can't break it. This is what actually stood out to me. This is the thing I said I wanted to share with you guys that I found very profound. It almost feels like sometimes you're watching your life like a movie. You know exactly what the next scene should be? You know what decisions you should make, but you're paralyzed. And it's a strange feeling, man, because sometimes when you finally come out of those low phases, you start over compensating, which I don't like within myself. You grind too hard, you chase too much because you're trying to make up for lost time. You're trying to make yourself feel like yourself again, but it leads straight back to burnout. It becomes a loop. Depression slows you down. Ambition speeds you up. And you keep swinging between the two extremes and you just end up finished. And because your self worth is tied to your output, any downtime feels like failure. You can't relax without guilt. You can't rest without anxiety. And that's why I always repeat high ambition without internal peace isn't strength. It is punishment. Because you're not chasing growth anymore. You're running from emptiness and no matter how much you achieve, it never feels enough, which is why you can look at celebrities and people you guys idolize. And whenever they come out and say, you know, I've been in a bad place mentally, you might think to yourself, how you've got a lamb beginning, you're a you've got a rose voice rate. How you depressed? I personally know so many high functioning people who spiral in private. On paper, they're doing well, business money, influence, but internally they exhausted their burnt out. And when they can't feel that emptiness anymore, pay attention to this. They start filling it with other addictions, alcohol, drugs, validation, constant noise. And that's why one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn recently is that doing more doesn't always mean becoming more. Sometimes growth happens in the port. Sometimes peace is the real progress because being ambitious makes you less content across life generally. You can't even enjoy time with people anymore. You're constantly in your head thinking about what's next? What's missing? What haven't you done yet? And that grind mindset ruins relationships ultimately, which is why these people are always nagging about how they can't relate to people, how they struggle to be around people. Maybe it is your ambition. And I saw this video that really stuck with me. They said, one of the biggest indicators that you're healing is that you're becoming less ambitious. I still think about this till this day. At first, I was like, what the hell does that mean? That sounds wrong. But when I really sat with it, it made a lot of sense because most people's ambition doesn't come from inspiration. It comes from pain. The pursuit of leadership power and success is usually a response to inadequacy. It's not I want to build. It's I need to improve. So the moment you introduce peace into your life, your ambition really starts to quiet down. You begin to ask, what more do I actually need to feel content? And nine times out of 10, the answer is not much. So it's about redefining how we see ambition because yes, ambition will always intersect with depression at some point, but how you deal with that intersection is what makes or breaks you. And before we move on, I want to make one more point. Have you ever noticed how someone grinding at their peak looks like they have it all together? But the moment the grind stops they fall apart. Take Conor McGregor for an example, he just came to my mind. When he was coming up through the MMA ranks, he was hungry, focused and obsessed. He was articulate, composed and calculated. If you don't believe me, go watch his old videos. The guy could probably speak better than me at one point. It looked like he had it all figured out that pain and hunger gave him direction. It gave him identity. But the problem with being motivated by pain is when the pain goes away, when the hunger fades, you lose the very thing that was holding you together. And if you don't have a foundation of peace underneath it, everything unravels. Look at him now. The drugs, the scandals, the outbursts. You think bro, you've made it. You've got a lot of money, fame, legacy. But that's the thing. When pain driven ambition runs out, it exposes everything you've been hiding behind the grind. Because if you never learn to build peace within the process, success just gives you more chaos to manage. And that's why I always say that's my favorite saying. That is what I always say. Build your foundation whilst you're climbing because the view from the top isn't peaceful if you don't bring peace with you. Because the view from the top isn't peace if you don't bring peace with you. And I hope you guys can take lessons from this. Money won't solve all of your problems in life. It may solve financial problems, but it almost always exposes the parts of you that you've been running away from for a very long time. Now, the next thing I want to talk about is something that I think defines this generation more than anything. Over exposure is why I call it. We are absolutely drowning in information. And while that may have sounded empowering once upon a time, it is actually destructive because the more you know, the more distorted your sense of reality becomes. There's this concept I learned a while back called reality testing. It basically means your ability to perceive how things actually are. And what I've found is people that have higher IQs tend to have better reality testing, meaning they see the world more accurately. They don't live in an idealistic world. But here's the dark side of that. The more accurately you see the world, the sadder you become. Most people's reality testing is extremely low. They live in this idealistic bubble where everything feels fine, but truth isn't always beautiful. Matter of fact, truth is sobering. And that's the problem with awareness. It exposes you to things that blissful people never have to face, as they say ignorance is bliss. When you're deeply aware, you start seeing how much suffering there is, how much corruption manipulation, as I've been mentioning, and it's heavy. It's not a burden most people are built to carry because most people's reality is small. Oh, did you see that new bait scored video or so and so cheated on that person? Oh, did you see that football score? Carlin scored. That's their world. That's their bubble. And that's fine. It actually keeps you peaceful. But for people like us who think, who analyze, who feel deeply, the brain never switches off. It constantly connects dots, scanning patterns, searching for meaning. And that's why people who overthink often look tired, even when they've slept eight hours. It's not physical exhaustion. It's emotional fatigue. It's the weight of overexposure. You scroll online and you're hit with a thousand opinions, a thousand tragedies, a thousand highlight rules, all in one sitting. And if your brain is analytical, it tries to make sense of all of it. It tries to form frameworks, conclusions and beliefs until you've absorbed more than you can handle. This is something I had to get myself out of because I've got that analytical mind. I can't just see something. I have to decode it. And that's dangerous when you don't know when to stop. And that's why my advice has always been get rid of short form content. I'm following the chaos because social media will always prioritize a negative content. Outrage sells and your nervous system pays the price. Awareness without boundaries becomes trauma. You have to learn when to look away. You have to learn when to let things pass through you instead of into you. Because the deeper your reality testing gets, the more you start noticing how much of life is scripted, as I mentioned earlier, politics, social media, everything feels like a performance. They even call it energy harvesting. And I genuinely believe that's a real thing, especially in the entertainment industry. They're not fighting for your attention, they're fighting for your energy. That's why I am so cautious about what it is that are consumed because the whole system is designed to harvest your focus. To distract you from your purpose, to keep you emotionally invested in things that don't even matter. For the love of God, why are people invested in people that create content, celebrities, musicians, footballers, why are people invested in these people that wouldn't even look twice a year? Like right now, for example, the UFC is under investigation for illegal betting and I guarantee most people watching will never question what that actually means. They're just entertained. Meanwhile, all that obsession that outraged that emotional reaction is just energy that's being siphoned away from your purpose whilst the entire thing is scripted. And I also find myself becoming more cynical over the last few years. Court between knowing too much and feeling too little, you essentially lose your innocence and you stop believing in genuine intentions. You stop trusting easily because you've seen too many masks. And that kind of awareness, if not managed properly, turns into emotional isolation. You start closing off the reason why I love intellectual people are seen as introverts and isolated from the world is because of this. That's why my rule now is simple. Knowledge without grounding becomes prison. We weren't designed to process this much information. Matter of fact, that was one of my earliest podcasts episodes. Our nervous system cannot handle it. So if you're someone who feels constantly oversimulated, constantly heavy, constantly drained by life, maybe it's not you. Maybe you're just experiencing too much of the world in too little time. And that's where the real self-work begins. Learning to build boundaries around your awareness, not to become ignorant but to protect your peace. People always ask me, bro, how many articles do you read a day? Do you keep up with politics? Do you stay on top of what's going on in the world? And I told them, no, no, no, not because I don't care about because I refuse to let the world harvest my energy. Everything in this world is scripted, every algorithm, every headline, every debate. I know I keep repeating this, but it is designed to keep you reactive to make you forget how to think, to make you forget that peace is a choice. That's why I avoid consuming too much, especially around negativity. I don't want to be bombarded with stories that remind me how broken the world is. I already know. I don't need it, replayed constantly. And the same goes for these online gender wars, men versus women, masculinity versus femininity. Everyone's arguing about who's worse, who's right, who's to blame. It is all energy harvesting. And it makes people miserable, especially the ones who are hyper-vigilant and illiterate and already self-aware because you're not just consuming, you are processing, and that constant processing drains you. So here's what I'm going to tell you. Build boundaries around your awareness, not to ignore reality, but to protect your capacity to stay grounded in it, because without that, you end up knowing everything and feeling nothing. So after everything I've said so far, the question you may be asking is, what is the point of it all? How do you actually make peace with a brain that wants to switch off? And I think the answer, at least for my experience, has been purpose, which I'm going to break down. For a long time, I thought purpose was about achievement, about results, about doing things the world claps for, you know, getting the car, money, grades, degree, whatever it looks like or whatever that success looks like from the outside. But over time, I read as something deeper, purpose isn't about what you achieve. It is about what you can endure. It's about what you can stay faithful to even when there are no approaches, even when no one is clapping. And sometimes purpose is born from pain. In fact, I genuinely believe the heaviest people often carry the most meaningful missions, because your shadow gives you empathy, your pain gives you perspective, and ultimately your depth becomes your language. When I was younger, I used to hate how deeply I felt things. I'm looking at other people and think, why can't I just be lighthearted like everyone else? Why can't I move through life without analysing everything? But now I realise the depth is my gift, because it allows me to translate what most people cannot express. For all the times I wasn't heard, maybe that's why I speak now, maybe that's why this podcast even exists. It's not about being seen, it's about giving a voice to people who don't have one. I get DMs every single day, from people saying, bro, your words have helped me so much, even women. And it's mad when you think about it because all I'm really doing is taking the pain I once carried, and turning it into perspective. And that's why I started realising something powerful. Maybe the weight I've been carrying isn't punishment. Maybe it's preparation. Maybe this heaviness wasn't meant to break me. Maybe it was meant to teach me compassion. Because when you've been low, you stop judging people who are low. When you've been misunderstood, you become more patient with the misunderstood. And when you felt unseen, you start seeing people more clearly. That is what purpose is. It's never glamorous, it's never obvious. Sometimes your purpose is simply to live through your lessons loud enough so someone else doesn't feel alone. Don't you guys think that's so empowering? And I'm telling you, once you reframe your pain through purpose, everything changed, because then the suffering doesn't become meaningless anymore. It feels like data, like experience you are meant to share, like the world gave you something to carry, not to crush you, but to contribute. And that's why I have to always remind the people I'm around. Stop trying to erase your sensitivity. Stop trying to harden up. The world doesn't need more numb people. It needs people who can feel and stay grounded. That is what real strength is. Because when you stop running from your depth, you start to realise that purpose isn't about perfection, it's about direction. It's about pointing your pain somewhere, turn it into something. And when you do that, suddenly the chaos starts to make sense. You look back and you realise every heartbreak, every misunderstanding, every failure, every dark season, they weren't random. Think about it like this. There were small chisels shaping you to become the person you were meant to become. Purpose is what keeps me alive in no honesty. Because once you attach meaning to your pain, it stops suffocating you and it starts serving you. And I've been speaking for a while, I've been saying a lot of poetic things. But for anyone listening to this right now and maybe you're going through a hard point in your life or a hard time or maybe you've just come out of one, push through, get to the other side because one day you'll be able to vocalise it and show others that there is hope. And that may be your purpose. Maybe you'll someday help someone through something you once barely survived. Maybe you'll turn that same story into something that feeds other people. I've seen it happen before we've seen it happen before. Someone goes through hardship, helps one person get back on their feet and before they know it, that becomes their life work. And I truly believe that when you start serving things bigger than yourself, you transcend all the blindness and the numbness that keeps the average person depressed. Because service, giving to people pulls you out of self, it lifts you above the noise. I remember watching a video once and the person said something that hit me hard, the cure to pushing through life is to do things that are much bigger than you. And that's where it starts. That's where you start feeling light again when what you finally start doing matters more than you. The bigger picture. We've now reached the point in the podcast episode where we talk about the practical side of things because as much as I love going deep, I always want to leave you with something that you can actually do because understanding is cool, but integration is ultimately what changes your life. So I want to share a few things that have helped me personally ground myself when my mind has felt too heavy, things that helped me move from being aware to being aligned. Number one is understanding that awareness doesn't always mean absorption. This one is so big to me. Being aware doesn't mean you have to absorb everything you see. As I said, build boundaries around your awareness. You can notice the world without letting it eat you alive. You can observe without over identifying. I used to scroll and feel everything. The pain, the outrage, the injustice, I'll be inside my bed. Maybe I like 11 p.m. in the night time wanting to go sleep. And I'm just hating life because I'm letting things inside my body that I shouldn't. And it gets to a point where you feel like your empathy is bleeding out every single day. And when you expose yourself to that much suffering, that much negativity eventually becomes desensitising. But here's what I learned the hard way. Empathy without boundaries is self-destruction. Write that down. If you don't have boundaries around your empathy, it will consume you. So now I continually remind myself, I'm not the world's savior. I still as it sounds, I wasn't appointed to fix every problem on the planet. I'm just one human doing my best. And the best way I can help the world is staying sane enough to actually show up for it. Because imagine I went down this path of trying to fix everything wrong with humanity. But you guys can visibly see me losing my mind in the process. That's not a good trade. So when your mind starts spiraling, remind yourself of this. I can care without carrying everything. Also write that down. That is what emotional maturity is. Number two, protect your impulse. I've said this so many times. Be ruthless about what you consume. Because we live in a day and age where attention is currency. Energy harvesting is real. And if you're naturally a curious and intelligent person, you actually are at risk of overstimulation because everything catches your interest, every article, every debate, every clip. You feel like you have to always learn everything around you. But not everything that's available is meant for your nervous system. Curiosity with boundaries is wisdom. For me personally, my consumption is very limited now. All of these things that I share with you guys are very intentional. I've went out of my way to research it. I'd rather research or read one thing deeply than skim five things lightly because wisdom doesn't come from exposure. Just always remember that. It comes from internalizing and digesting. Ultimately, I want you to remember this. Protect your inputs like you protect your peace because they are the same thing. Number three is what I call staying embodied. Now, just to clarify what that means is simply means live through something not just think about it. When you live in your head too much, life becomes conceptual. You start thinking about life instead of living it. And that's why movement for me is so sacred. The gym walking, prayer stretching, even clearing your space that you live in your room. These are spiritual acts that keep you grounded because they pull you back into the present. They remind your body that you are still here, still alive, still safe. You can't think your way out of overthinking. You have to move your way out of it. And that's something a lot of intellectual people struggle with because they try to solve emotions the same way they solve equations logically, which makes no sense. So all I'm saying is when you move your process, when you sweat, you release and when you breathe deeply, you quiet and down the noise. So get out of your head and get into your body because that's where healing begins. And number four is anchor to a routine. I am very big on maintaining your rituals. For someone that's analytical and always overstimulated, you need to ground yourself through structure. I always say no matter what the world throws at you, hold your rituals tight. That could mean gym, could mean prayer, could mean journaling, could mean your morning routine, could mean your skincare routine, could mean your Sunday self care, whatever keeps you grounded. I want you to always remind yourself that having these rituals remind you that you are still in control even when life feels chaotic. They teach your brain that you are safe again and they remind your nervous system that you are okay. And number five is anchor to a purpose. Everything you do has to lead back to something that matters. We live in a day and age where purpose doesn't even matter. You see women selling their bodies online. You see guys selling their souls trying to be something that they're not. We live in a very purposeless society where unfortunately we've equated making money to a purpose. But the way you make money and what it connects to matters way more than how you make your money. And for some people that start spiritually serving the creator, this is something I'm big on. If you don't know what your purpose is, start by being spiritual. Secondarily, start by sorting your health out. Number three, consume content that is beneficial to you intentionally. What you're going to realize is then you become a machine. All you then need to do is apply yourself. But a lot of people are running on fumes. You don't take care of your body. You're not spiritual. You don't really consume any beneficial things and you wonder what your purpose is. Right. And that's what self-work for me is. It isn't about escaping the heaviness of life. It's about building stability within it because we can't change the heaviness. We can't change the corruption. We can't change all the things that we dislike about the world. But we can definitely change the way we navigate around it. So to close off this episode, I want to leave you with something I've realized recently, something that ties everything we've talked about together. Intelligence can become dangerous when you start convincing yourself that you're supposed to have the answers to everything. That's where a lot of people lose peace because the mind becomes obsessed with control, which is why I want to really introduce this idea of spirituality to you guys. The constant craving of answers all the time is why I feel like intelligence, there's a level of irony sometimes because your intelligence could become your prison. The more you try to understand the less mystery there is and mystery is what actually keeps life sacred. So you're one of the biggest reasons people fall into despair is because they believe everything has to make sense. And when it doesn't, they spiral. And that's where spirituality steps in. It fills the gaps that logic can't reach because some things aren't meant to be understood. They're meant to be accepted. Always remind yourself of this because acceptance doesn't mean you stop thinking. It just means you finally rest from the illusion that you can think your way through everything. For example, right, when you look at science, science tries to answer everything that has ever existed. For example, how we were created, what existed before the beginning, why are we conscious? They've been trying for centuries, they'll tell you big bang evolution, cosmic chance, but those are all theories. Those are all things that they are trying to fill a gap that only God can fill. And for me, that is where I find peace. Knowing that not everything is mine to figure out, some things belong to divine wisdom. Some things are not meant to be solved only surrendered to. Spirituality doesn't take away intelligence. People that you see on the internet or in real life are the ones that lack intelligence. But spirituality doesn't actually take away intelligence. It humbles it. It reminds you that no matter how much you learn, there will always be layers you can't comprehend. And that's okay. That's what faith is, trusting the unseen order behind the visible chaos. So whenever that depressive shadow gets too heavy, I always remind myself, I don't have to understand everything. I just have to trust that everything has a purpose, even pain, even silence, even waiting, because God's wisdom is superior to mine. His timing is superior to mine. And sometimes the unanswered questions in life are just protections disguised as comfort. There's a verse that always grounds me to the nearest narration, which is you may dislike something that's good for you and love something that's bad for you, but God knows and you do not. And that line alone carries me through so many dark seasons because there's many times where I really wanted something and it didn't work out. And I was so angry, you know, God, I prayed for this. Why isn't this working out? And then fast forward when I'm looking back maybe a year or two later, my life has become so much better and that thing that I was once so caught up on no longer matters. So the point of making is sometimes we don't know what God has in store for us. The thing we think we want may not be the thing that is meant for us. And when you start to accept that life gets lighter, you stop chasing answers and you start practicing presence. So if you made it this far into the episode, maybe you're someone who feels too aware for your own good, maybe your mind never switches off, maybe you see patterns everywhere. If that's you, I want you to remember this, you're not broken, you're just awake and sometimes being awake hurts. The main thing I want you to take away is try to be spiritual in a world that's godless because the goal isn't to know everything, the goal is to live well with what you do know, to learn fast, but not to surrender fast, to be deep, but not to drown in it. So as always, I love you guys, and I love everyone that partakes and participates in this weekly podcast episode release. If you feel like you found something beneficial in this, share it with people. Ultimately, the way I see it is I give to you so you give to others. And if you want to DM me, talk about some things, feel free. As per usual, this is the self-work podcast, and I'll see you guys in the next episode.