The habits that build self respect | BYF SERIES #6

(upbeat music) Hello my gorgeous humans. Welcome back to another episode of the Build Your Foundation series. This is episode six. Today's episode is all about like I've had a theme for each episode, okay? So if you've been following on with this series, you'll know that each episode kind of has a theme of and I think of each theme of as like a brick, right? And that brick is building that foundation. Building the foundation for us to become the person that we were always capable of, okay? Because I've said this from the beginning, this series was not about becoming someone different. It's about actually laying a strong enough foundation so you can become the person that you've always capable of being. You just haven't had a strong foundation to support you to get there. So I think of each of these themes in each of these episodes as like a brick to building that foundation. This episode today, episode number six, is focused on identity, okay? So who we are and who we are becoming. Okay, becoming someone that you respect. Because when we think about someone that respects themselves or when we respect someone, it's about becoming someone that trusts themselves to show up when they know they need to. Trust themselves that regardless of what's actually going on in their life, they will do the things that is required to take care of them, to nurture them, to show up when they don't feel like it. They can trust that that is who they are and that's exactly what they're gonna do. Because when you think about it, when you respect someone, what do you do? You don't wanna let them down. It's the last thing that you wanna do when you truly respect someone. So when you think about doing that for yourself, it's about thinking of yourself as someone like that. So if you don't wanna let someone down that you respect, turning that back around on yourself and going, okay, well if I'm someone that I truly respect, what are the things that I don't wanna let myself down for? So this is the next part of that foundation is especially if we are building longevity, we're building freedom within our health and fitness and a really beautiful relationship with it that actually brings us joy. It's starting to actually see ourselves as someone that we truly respect and reciprocating that with the habits and the things that we choose every single day, okay? So we're gonna go into that. Self-respect, the first thing I wanna say about self-respect, it's not something that you earn from one day, okay? You don't show up to the gym one day and self-respect is built. No, it is something that is built every single time you choose alignment over excuses, okay? It is chosen and it is built day after day after day. It is an accumulative thing, it is a compounding thing of small little moments over time built into a large amount of evidence that yeah, I am exactly who I say I am because look at all this evidence that I have. So to become when we create that future version of ourselves and we picture that future version, we create a, we're speaking to a hundred daily basis, we picture like, oh, just this is who I want to be. That is our identity, okay? So our identity is who we are, who we are becoming. To become her, we need to show up as her today, which means going, okay, this is the version of me that has the results. What is it that she does that I am not doing that I need to start doing, right? So we're gonna speak about that from that lens of identity and who I am, how I'm treating myself and what evidence and what evidence am I collecting that is then resulting in the reality that I'm living. So I'm gonna tickle subnickers when I say this, okay? I might not even tickle them, I might absolutely rip them the fuck off and you're gonna feel like you're standing there stark naked, but I have to say it, the whole self-love industry is failing you. So that whole, oh, be kind to yourself, take it easier on yourself, like don't be so hard on yourself, don't push yourself, don't put so much pressure on yourself, that whole narrative of like, oh, just be more kind to yourself, take it easier on yourself and like while that has a place, do not get my words mixed up. The kindness, the kindness is important, kindness will only get you so far though, the truth is what sets you free, okay? Stop taking it easier on yourself. You have been doing that for far too long already and how do you actually feel about yourself? You don't like the person that you see in the mirror so in all seriousness, how is that actually working out for you and I say this from an extremely empowering place because pressure is a privilege and when we have the opportunities in our life to put pressure on ourselves to do better, utilize it. Because some people do not get the choice and the opportunities that we have, so stop taking them for granted first and foremost. That's probably the number one place you can start to go to to start becoming someone who feels deep levels of respect is understanding all the choice that you do have in your life and not taking that for granted. So that whole narrative of take it easier on yourself is failing you because you are, you're negotiating yourself out of all the things you know you need to do. You're letting your excuses run your entire life, you're playing victim to your circumstances and it is not serving you. It is keeping you stuck in those excuses and in the habits that do not serve you that do not align with that future version of yourself that you actually want to create. Okay, so it's actually probably about time that you actually started to step outside that comfort zone and put a little bit of pressure on yourself to do better. And this doesn't mean being an asshole to yourself. People get this mixed up a lot of the time. They go, okay, well, if I start putting more pressure on myself and I start being, you know, a little bit more da da da da da, that means being an asshole to myself. That means doing it from a place of hate. That means ignoring all my emotions and things I'm like, no, that's what people get really wrong about discipline is they think that it means ignore your emotions, push them aside, push through the pain, punish yourself. No, absolutely not. Okay, we've just swung from one side of the pendulum to the other. Okay, talk about dramatic. We start from one side of the pendulum, which is take it easier on yourself, be kind yourself, da da da da da, and then we swing all the way to the other side and it says, fucking, don't ever have a day off. You piece of shit. No, let's find middle ground. Okay, let's find middle ground where we are someone that holds ourself to higher standards, but we do so from a place of love, kindness, and respect for ourselves. Okay, there's a middle ground for that. Discipline does not mean punish yourself. It couldn't be further from the truth. Okay, discipline is self-respect in its highest form because it means I'm willing to put aside my temporary emotions to make decisions for my future self. Okay, I'm willing to sacrifice temporary comfort for long-term results. Okay, future me is more important than the current excuses that I am negotiating with myself. Okay, the current excuses that I'm trying to use right now? No, future me is more important. Get the fuck up, get the job done. Why? Because those things that I'm trying to avoid doing right now are actually something that would make me feel better. Especially when we choose those things from a place of nourishment, enrichment, and self-respect for ourselves. Okay, it's a completely different story if we are choosing things that suck and are from a place of hate, disrespect, and depletion, showing up and doing those things, of course. No, they're just gonna make us feel worse. So it's gonna be really easy to negotiate ourselves out of doing those things. Versus when you actually choose sustainable habits that empower you when it comes to the moment when you're using excuses when you're trying to negotiate with yourself, you pull discipline out and you go, okay, who do you actually wanna be? Who is it that you said you wanted to be? Okay, I'll use myself in this example, okay, 'cause I'm gonna talk from the third person. Isabella, who is it that you said you wanted to be? What goals did you say you wanted to achieve? What is it that you are not doing, like, what is the work that needs to be done? And what part of that are you not doing right now? Where are you negotiating yourself out of it? Okay, these are the things highlighted them, cool, go do the thing. Doesn't matter how you feel right now because your emotions are fleeting. Your emotions come and go and we've experienced that and we've got so much evidence of that in the past because I've been letting myself off the hook for so long. I actually need to go, you know what? I'm really tired from today. Yep, cool, doesn't matter, do it tired. Because I'm usually someone that goes, "I'm so tired from work, what I'm gonna go do is do things that actually don't support me. Don't nourish me and don't fill me up." What they actually do is make me feel worse and they keep me stuck. All because of a simple, I'm tired. Versus I'm tired, yep, cool, so is half the world. I'm gonna show up and I'm gonna do the thing that initially feels like the hardest thing to do, AKA go to the gym. I'm gonna go to the gym and I'm gonna realize after I went to the gym, oh my God, that felt like the hardest thing to do but I'm so glad I did it because I feel so much better for it. I've just shown myself exactly who the fuck I am and the self-respect that I'm feeling within myself for showing up and doing something that I didn't wanna do is next level. Cool, let's keep stacking those days. Because the truth is most of us are tired. The truth is most. of us are doubting ourselves. We're overwhelmed. We're frustrated. Life so much is happening in life. Life is happening to many people. There are people grieving. There are people going through things. There are people who may have a silver spoon being fed to them. Who gives a fuck. The only person that actually matters is what your circumstances are. And if you're using these circumstances to stop you from actually taking action, then we need to just, you need to actually put those blinders on and start to focus on you. Okay, so point that finger back at yourself. Okay, the very first place to start with self respect is taking the most radical amounts of personal responsibility of deep levels of honesty. And saying, okay, me personally, I have been letting myself off the hook for way too long. I've been telling myself, I want to achieve these things. And I haven't achieved them. I'm just the whole year. I was just gone by again. And I'm in the same spot as I was last year. Cool. Maybe I need to start putting myself in situations where I am forced to step up, where I am required to do better and stop putting myself in comfortable situations where I can let myself get away with it once again. Becoming someone that you respect starts with you realizing I've been letting myself off the hook for way too fucking long. Enough is enough. Okay, I need to actually start putting more pressure on myself. And I might actually just start. And then like, I need to actually start putting more pressure on myself. And then maybe I will actually just start following through with the things I know that are good for me. But because right now I keep letting my emotions dictate whether I do them or not. And I need to actually become someone that chooses logic over my emotions. And logic means I take care of myself regardless of what's going on. I always show up and do the best for me because I have high standards regardless of what's going on. I'm tired. Cool. I've taught myself how to show up tired. And showing up tired doesn't mean pushing through pain and pushing through exhaustion and pushing through burnout. No. Listening to your body doesn't ever, doesn't mean not challenging yourself. Okay, challenging yourself also doesn't mean ignoring the signs and symptoms of you're doing too much. There is absolutely a balance if you're someone who can't have a rest day that I'm probably saying you're pushing doing too much. But if you're someone that's never shown up consistently that I'm saying you're probably not challenging your body enough. Find a routine and set a standard routine for yourself and be consistent in that. And then we can start to question where those things are. So you have to ask yourself, where are you sitting? Okay, I'm sitting in a place where I consistently have never consistently been able to show up week to week. I'm always stopping and starting. Okay, cool. Then you're probably on the side of the pendulum where yeah, you do it when you feel like it. Your emotions absolutely dictate whether you show up or not, which means you probably need to teach yourself to show up tired. You probably need to teach yourself the consequences of the current habits that you choose. For example, I stayed up late last night scrolling deep in a hole on tick-tock, watching Netflix and then I got to bed late. I woke up the next day, super tired and I told myself I was going to go to the gym in the morning. Sometimes you need to actually show yourself the consequences of what that is like because sometimes you do need to teach yourself. What are the consequences of your decisions? The consequences of me not having high standards the night before and choosing to scroll and watch Netflix all night and instead of get to bed earlier means I have to show up to my gym session this morning, tired, exhausted and overwhelmed because maybe just maybe I will start to feel like this sucks. I don't want to do it. I'm going to get to bed earlier. Why? Because what's a priority to me? A priority to me is the gym session and I'm making that gym session harder to show up to. Maybe I'll actually start making it easier for myself by taking care of myself and actually holding the boundaries that I'm trying to set for myself, not letting myself walk all over them. So sometimes you do have to. The minute you say, "I'm tired, I don't want to do it, fuck I just said it, I need to go and do it then." And if you're someone that seriously cannot hold yourself to this and you just have no guts and I love you when I say this, I do but if you just have no guts to be able to hold yourself to that standard and say, "You know what, I make my decisions, I'm the boss in my own world," then you need to have someone in your life that does. And that's a coach. Or it's a friend or it's a gym where the coaches in that gym will hold you to that standard. They will push you in those sessions and they will get you to do better. You need to put yourself in environments where people will not let you use your excuses because enough is enough. Becoming someone you respect starts with you realizing this. Okay, I've been letting myself off the hook for way too long. Do I actually want the things that I say that I want? If so, then okay, I might actually need to put a bit more pressure on myself because then finally maybe I'll become the person that I keep saying that I am. Because when those two actually align and when you actually align those two things, you say you're someone. And if you're not that person, you're letting yourself down and your confidence is getting absolutely smashed. Versus aligning the habits of someone that respects themselves and saying that you are someone who wants to respect themselves, aligning those two things together means the evidence backs that. Meaning I'm saying that I am this person, what I do and the actions that I live by absolutely align with what I'm saying, which means you then start to feel deep levels of self respect about who you are and how you go about your life. And the results to that means you start to give less of a fuck about what other people have to say about you. What you're doing, how you going about things, you start to pay less attention to other people's opinions because you're so focused on your own. Okay, I spoke about this really briefly in the episode about confidence and I said we were going to go a little bit deeper into it this episode. This is it. You want to feel confident? Stop letting yourself down. Stop disrespecting yourself. Stop staying in your comfort zone and expecting results from someone who steps outside their comfort zone. Someone asked me, and it's just probably not had now, someone asked me a question in the question box I put up yesterday or what would you tell your younger self? And one particular thing was the best things and the happiest things you've ever achieved to come through the things that scared you the most. And it's probably the most truth I could ever speak. I used to be that person. The one who would avoid doing the scary thing because I had doubt, I had fear, I had all these things until I put myself in a different environment where I put some pressure on myself to have no choice but to show up. I had no choice but to. And then I walked out of that room going, holy shit, my potential is not where I thought it was. It is so much higher. So I used to be that person until I realized fuck, I've been letting myself off the hook for way too long, do better. The best and happiest things I have ever achieved have come from stepping outside my comfort zone and doing things that scared the living daylights out of me in all forms, in all things. It's a reason why I'm here today talking to you. And I'm going to go into this a little bit of a heads up. Next episode is actually the 100th episode of this podcast. And I'm going to speak about this topic because without taking a leap and without actually pointing the finger back at myself and going like with so much love to myself, you are acting like a piece of shit. You're not a piece of shit but you're acting like one. And that is not who you are. Isabella Grace-Satara. So step the fuck up and do better. Stop playing victim. Stop pointing the finger elsewhere. Take responsibility and step outside your comfort zone. Stop letting yourself off the hook. Because that self worth, that feeling inside of myself that didn't feel good enough was 100% on me. Why? Because when I started to look into all areas of my life where I was saying I was one thing but I was doing something else. I realized, well, those two don't align. If I disrespect myself, how am I ever going to feel internal self respect? It's not going to work. So I went, okay, I need to put a little bit more pressure on myself and I put myself in the rooms that did just that. I had no choice but to show up and prove to myself I'm exactly who I say that I am. And that took some work. And I remember the exact moment that I did it because I had a massive problem. I could never speak the words. I'm proud of myself. I could never say that. I could never say I'm someone I deeply respect. I could never say those words because I've dealt with and been working through for such a long time, that feeling of not good enough ness, of doubting myself, of not believing in myself. And I remember the fuck it's going to make me emotional. I remember that moment when I stood there in front of 20 women, fuck there could have been more. I don't even know. I stood there in front of 20 women and I looked my coach in the eye and I literally said, I am so fucking proud of myself. Like I actually genuinely love who I am. And I fucking rock and like to be able to actually say that it was a massive for me because I could never do that. I did not like looking at the person in the mirror that I looked at every single day because I knew she let herself down every single day. So for me to actually stand up there and actually voice that in front of other women. That's how I know this shit works. When you stop pointing the finger elsewhere, you start pointing it back on yourself and you start going, "I'm couch-bound. I'm someone who loves the comfort of my couch that I don't ever go and experience the world." Okay, I'm so stuck in my comfort zone, not realizing that my comfort zone's actually full of lack of confidence, low self-respect, low self-worth, anxiety. All these things that I've just settled with when I don't realize that stepping outside of my comfort zone and putting a little bit of pressure on myself, asking myself to do a little bit better means I find confidence, I find self-worth, I find self-respect and I start to actually love the version of me that I see in the mirror. So I asked myself, "What's the risk? Do am I happy with that consequence? No, I'm not. Do the fucking thing." Okay, I became more than willing to put aside my temporary emotions to make a decision for future self. I sacrificed temporary comfort for long-term results and that's when I started to see the results. Okay, you've got to start thinking, "Future me is more important than my current excuses and showing up for that." Finding a way, becoming someone who adapts, becoming someone who sees solutions within the problems, doesn't let a problem stop them because they go, "Okay, cool. What's my solution?" Becoming someone so solution-focused, that's where self-respect lives. So there's parts to this and there's discipline, identity, integrity, keeping promises, all things that build you into becoming someone that you respect. One of them, the first one, is discipline. And discipline isn't something that you use after the fact, okay, it's not damage control. Okay, it's something that you use to avoid becoming someone that you don't respect. It's used before the fact. It's a reminder of the bigger picture. It's a reminder of who you said you wanted to be. And then going, "Okay, cool, I'm going to do the thing. What does the thing look like, adapting if needed? Something is better than nothing or going and starting and realizing I'm going to push myself to do 100 percent." Okay, discipline is a reminder of who you said you wanted to be. So in that moment, when you have that decision to be made, you go, "I want to be a woman of my word." Okay, what did I say that I was going to do, I said that I was going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. Okay, well, I don't have a one hour time slot today that I had originally scheduled for. So what do I do? Well, there's no point if I can't show up for an hour, no, you show up for 30 minutes. You show up for the time that you have available. You show yourself that you are worth prioritizing regardless. That's discipline because discipline is I told myself I was going to be this person so I'm going to make it happen. Then you can look into the future and you can go, "Okay, well where did I let time go that I didn't have one hour to go to the gym and do what I said that I was going to do? Cool. How can I better set myself up for success for the future?" But right now I still need to show myself exactly who I said I was going to be or who I want to be because that's the whole thing and that's the identity part. Okay, is becoming your future self requires you to show up as her right now before you actually become her. So it's making decisions that align with the version of yourself that you wish to become. Okay, you aren't her right now. Of course not. Otherwise we wouldn't be here having this conversation. To become her, you need to start to align the habits, the beliefs, the values, the decisions, the patterns, the behaviors that you're doing today towards someone that would have those results that you want, okay I'm someone who values my health, okay what do you do to show yourself that or do you eat shit on a daily basis? You don't eat anything nutritious whatsoever, okay well then you wouldn't really be someone who values your health if you don't eat good nutritious food. I am someone who values my strength, okay but you continuously skip the gym so you're obviously not someone who values your strength. See that's the difference versus I am someone who values my strength, okay do I show myself that? Yes I do. I continuously go to the gym every single week. Aligning the habits and the things that you do with the things that you say you are. That is how you become your future self. And if you continuously keep saying these things that you want, I am someone who values my strength but you continuously don't show yourself that. The best thing a piece of advice I can give you is release yourself from the disappointment. If you're not going to do it, stop saying it. If you're not going to do it, stop saying it because you are destroying your confidence. Release yourself from the grip of disappointment. If you say it, make sure you damn well mean it by following through with the actions that you show yourself. Okay it's the same thing if if you had someone in your life that you deeply respect, okay picture that person. If there's someone in your life you have so much respect for you didn't want to disappoint. You didn't want to let down and you told them you were going to bake them a cake. What are you doing? You had a massive day. You're still coming home of an evening. It's 9 o'clock at night. You want to be in bed. You are still baking that goddamn cake. Do the same for you. And this is where integrity comes in, okay integrity is such a valid large part of self-respect. Okay who are you when no one is watching? Okay do you put on a charade and put on a show when people are watching to make it out like you're someone that you are not? Okay so who are you and no one is watching because that's the person we want to focus on. That is who you truly are. Who are you on your bad days? Who are you and things don't go right? Because that is truly who you are. That's the person we want to work on. That's the person we want to improve. Okay do you only do it and show up for yourself when someone can tell you that you've done a good job? Is that the only time that you actually put effort in when you know you're going to get validation from someone else? Can you only motivate yourself when you have someone else there doing it for you? Being the motivation for you but the minute someone say it's a friend and you both decide you're going to go to the gym at 6am in the morning and you wake up to a message from that person saying they're not going and then you go yeah I'm not going either. Because the only way you operate is if someone else can motivate you for you. This is integrity. Okay if we don't have integrity within our own decisions our self-respect is going to be very fucking low. Versus who are you and no one is watching on the same person when people are watching? Do you only do it when someone can tell you that you've done a good job? Nope I do it day in and day out and I get no celebration for it. No round of applause. No one sees the hard work that I put in behind the scenes because no one needs to. No. I will show up for myself because I am the only person in my life that I can rely on to do so. And this is why with my coaching, if I give you an example, my style of coaching is very self-led. Okay I'm here to help you and support you in any way shape or form that you need absolutely. And at the end of the day when I'm not here and I'm not going to be here 24/7 I have my own fucking life just like you have your own life I'm not going to be here 24/7. So I want to give you all the tools and the support needed for you to be able to go out there and do it yourself. I want you to become the most empowered, resilient, strong, confident version of yourself so you don't need me. I don't want you to need me. I want you to use me for the support that you need to absolutely push yourself out of that comfort zone and get there. But that work at the end of the day needs to be done by you. So I want to give you everything that you need to be able to do that for yourself. And I can tell you right now that giving you too much kindness and letting you off the hook too much is not going to get you there. So I'm that coach that's going to give you the truth. And a lot of people what I've realized through a lot of coaching women is a lot of people hate the truth. They can't handle the truth about themselves and that's another thing I put on my story. Another person asked me in my question box what's a quote that had a lot of impact on you. And I'm going to try and recite it perfectly, but I never can. The degree in which someone can change is directly proportional to the amount of truth they can handle about themselves and not run away. I actually think that was perfect. The amount of truth you can handle about yourself and not run away. The amount of truth you can handle about the work that you are not doing and not run away is going to be directly connected to the results that you get. That's the ability for you to be able to take the deepest levels of self personal responsibility and self honesty of you know what I'm asking for one thing, but I'm doing absolutely nothing to get there. What makes me think I'm going to get it? What makes me think I'm going to get those results without doing the work that's required? So I need to start to look at these things. I need to start to look at how I operate. Look at my levels of discipline. Look at the identity that I keep saying I'm someone who values my strength, but I keep skipping the gym. I need to start aligning those two things. Look at my integrity within myself. Who am I when no one is watching? Huh. I let myself down immediately. I need external things to motivate me to take action. I need to change that. I need to be the one that does that for myself. Keeping promises. Do I keep promises to myself? Keeping promises is where you stack the evidence, right? Stacking evidence that you can. do it. Because right now you've been stacking a lot of evidence that you can't do it when you let yourself down. Okay, when you shy away from hard things, you are reinforcing the belief within your mind that you cannot do it. So when you have that self belief within yourself of I can't do it, I've tried it all before, I haven't done it, done it, it's true. That's the all the evidence that you've collected. So all you need to start doing is collecting evidence that you can do it. And that's where we start small and we build. That's where we don't start from a place of hate and disrespect for ourselves. We start from a place of massive respect. From building ourselves up, not shrinking ourselves down, skipping meals, flung ourselves in the gym, earning everything that we have to do. No, that's not sustainable. You're going to find yourself stopping and starting, building evidence that you simply once again can't do it. Okay, not showing away when things feel hard, scary or you're doubt yourself. Okay, it's remembering the plan that's in play, being a woman of your word. Stacking evidence that you can by keeping the promises that you hold yourself to. That is how you become someone you deeply respect. And when you look in the mirror, you go fuck, you're a cool bitch. Like mad respect to you, homie. Whatever you want to say, I don't know why that's what I said, but that's funny. Okay, that's how you get there. And when you fuck up and you make a mistake, not saying it's the end of the world, because it's got nothing to do with your work worth. It's not connected to your level of capability. The only time you fail is when you stop. So when you make a mistake, I don't think people realize that that's what they need. They need that. You need to fuck up so you can actually take the data and be able to figure out where you can do better. Because if you never do that, you'll never grow. Okay, so when you think about becoming someone that you respect, the actions you make need to align with someone worth respecting, when you let yourself down constantly, betray your body, starve it, flog it, what makes you think you're going to feel respect? What makes you think your body is going to feel respected? Because it's not going to reciprocate that when you do those things. What you ask of your body is what is going, it's going to give back to you. So if you don't ask much of it, it's not going to give much back. Okay, the end of the day, trust, respect and confidence are all a feeling that is built within society. Okay, it's a decision that needs to be made. It's a alignment to that future version of yourself that you keep saying you want to be. Self-respect isn't something that you earn on one day. It's built every single time you choose alignment to that future self over the excuses of why you can't become that person. Reflection piece, what would the version of you that you deeply respect do differently tomorrow? Write it down. Start showing up and doing those things tomorrow. If you're listening to this in the morning, start fucking doing it today. Don't wait. Waiting is a waste of your time. You've waited long enough. Then practical action, write down three standards that you want to live by. Okay, for example, I move my body most days. I fuel my body with intention. I speak to myself with respect. Write these standards down as you are living them. It is already what you are doing. Not, I want to move my body most days. No, I move my body most days and you can put in the number there. I move my body every single day and I strength train three days a week. Write it down as this is what I am already doing. I eat three well-rounded, nourished nutritional meals a day. I do not value starving my body. Okay, and then from tomorrow, don't chase perfection. Don't chase. It needs to look perfect immediately. No, you are building. You are building. Stacking the brick, brick by brick. Stacking days. It's not about perfection. You will have days where it doesn't look perfect. You will have days where you look back and you realise, "Shit, I've just reverted back to old habits." I let myself down there in that moment. Interesting. Okay, cool. I'm going to use that as an opportunity to do better tomorrow. I just gave in to being tired once again. I always do that crap. Okay, how can I better set myself up for success the next time around? Why? Because the future me and those goals that I keep saying my want, I want a really fucking importance. So I need to, I need to shape up. I need to shape up and I need to do better. Okay, so tomorrow, don't chase perfection. Just live up to those standards once. And when I say live up to those standards once, it doesn't mean you need to go and do it all. This is my point. Don't go and go, okay, I need to be perfect and I need to tick all these things off. No, just write down the standards you want to live by and start stacking the days where you start to think about it. You start to show up to those things, bit by bit and it eventually starts to become who you are. Tomorrow, get yourself one step closer to that version of yourself that you keep saying you want to be. Regardless of how you're feeling, remember that part. Regardless of how you're feeling. Remember these things. Okay, remember keeping promises to yourself. Don't say it unless you actually want to show up for yourself. Once you say it, ask yourself, what do I need to do to set myself up for success so I know that I can follow through with it. What are the systems that I need to have in place to support me following through with those things even when it's a really hard day? Systems over everything. Okay, systems are what is going to get you through. Okay, not hope. Not waiting to the last minute to make the decision. Okay, willpower alone is not going to get it done. The system is going to help you do that. Systems are part of your foundation. Systems are a brick. Okay, integrity, who are you and no one is watching, start to think about who you are and how you operate and who you rely on. Why can't that be you? Your identity makes sure that the decisions you make align with the version of yourself that you wish to become and then your discipline. Okay, remind yourself of the bigger picture and use it as a way to become someone to avoid becoming that person you don't respect. So pull it out in that moment and go, I do it tired. I will show up for myself. Who do I actually say I wanted to become someone of my word? Cool. Let's do it. And then start stacking the days. Okay, because that future version of yourself is absolutely more than capable of being achieved by you. That is just up to you and the habits that you choose and the effort that you want to put in. Okay, being kind to yourself is a part of it. It's a start. It's exactly what you need to be and it's not something you should ever, ever, ever lose, ever. But being kind to yourself will only get you so far the truth is what sets you friend. You need to look at where you've been letting yourself down and say enough is enough. Okay, my loves. That is the end of this episode. If this episode hit home and you want to keep these conversations going, please hit the follow button. Share this to your story. Share this to a friend. That's like the best way to support this podcast and it really, really helps me out. It helps me grow. It helps me be able to have more time to actually create more episodes and do these things. Okay. And I appreciate every single one of you that does. So please, please, please help support this podcast. Love you guys so much. I'll chat to you in the next episode. This is the growth mindset podcast. Until then, keep chasing your higher self. Actually, OZ, your happiest life. Love you, bye.