The Gwyneth Paltrow Episode

Come as Gwyneth. Here is Gwyneth Paltrow! Sorry it's not medieval times, but I'm gonna tell you about this girl, she's pretty fine in my book. She's amazing, her name's Gwyneth, and it's Paltrow, and she's a great actor, and this is pretty long, but she also owns a company called Goop and probably a lot of other things, bye. And we're so excited. Too much. Hurry up, you've got all your fun out there. Ooh, toss me one. See, a guy like me goes for a white claw. Now, camera, right here, I want you to follow me real slow. So right now I got a mango, and I just want you to hear the sound. You hear that now? I don't know why you want to smell it, but. Why do I want to smell it? Because I want to be able to smell it. I want to be transformed into nightlife. Also into kicking back with my friends and just having a great time. Maybe it's summer, maybe it's even fall. This drink's just kind of good at any time. Yeah, seasonal, non-withholding. White claw. Toss me it. I'm just kidding, I know. You know, you can drink these with your supper. Toss it to me, open. Really? Just try it. Watch this, watch this. It's never been done. Check this out. It's never been done, and hit it right in the hand. No, don't, it's not gonna work. It's summer fun. Okay, okay, do it. We have Gwyneth Paltrow coming. Okay, okay. Let's clean up, let's clean up. We don't want her feet to get sticky. Let's clean up. I will say, the good thing about white claws, even when you spill it, it's not that big of a deal. Oh my God, I just stepped in it. I'm so annoyed that I just stepped in it. Okay, let's clean up. You can't be that annoyed, you love white claw. I love white claw, but I'm just annoyed that everyone's. You're annoyed at the situation. At the decisions, but white claw just brings out the fun in us, I guess. Chuck, are you gonna keep the goop out? Uh. Chuck, I think she's there. It's the remains. I want her to see that I had it. Hi. Hi, bud. How you doing? Oh. You're a movie star. That's what, like, iconic looks are. Yeah, defining things of, like, culture. Yes. I'm such a goop fan. I want to know about the vagina candle. I was hallucinating. My dick's too fucked up to ever show a girl anyway. Believe it, please believe it. Don't keep it, don't keep it. This is so weird. You guys, this is such a cool neighborhood. We fell in love in this house. We did. Yeah. That's more info than I thought I was gonna get. Oh, they did? Right off the bat. They did fully fall in love. Didn't you guys kiss right there the first time? First kiss against the fridge. It's a good house to. How did you meet? What was the. A writer on my TV show introduced me to her because she was friends with her. Do you know she's only been. She's only spent. Is it one week? No. Alone? With no boyfriend? No. How do you have a boyfriend consistently? You were single for one week, right? She's been single for, like. No, I was single for, like, months. Three weeks before me. Months dating him before he committed. I'd say one month single. I think, like, five weeks single over the past 15 years. You guys are pushing a narrative that I didn't even sign up for. You didn't sign up for it, but reality is reality. She's been single for five weeks in ten years. Yeah. She's a catch, guys. Yeah. I want to tell you. I always. I like relationships, I think. I want to say, I did predict that the woman that I would marry would be someone who was, I feel like, out of a relationship because I feel like the best women always get snatched up so quick. That's also a narrative that I would have. My wife was single. I was single for five years. Yeah. You were single? No. Your girlfriend? Selena was single for five. My wife. Sure, sure, sure. Are you married? Yeah, we just got married. Guys, no way. Yeah, yeah, and he got married a month before me. Yeah, back to back. Congratulations to both of you. I had no idea. Don't worry. Where did you get married? In Santa Barbara. Where? We rented a palm tree farm and converted it into a. We just wanted to do something, like, unconventional, and Selena was, like, she had a dream for her wedding since she was a kid, and, like, she's like, I want to walk down the aisle, and I want the aisle to be, like, Persian rugs, off-centered. I don't want normal flowers. I don't want it to feel bougie. I don't want. And, like, so it was, like, it was, like, incredible, and you could tell we had put so much effort into it, but also didn't feel, like, stuffy. I love that. That was it. It's so cool. Hey, why is it cool? Why is it called Goop? Okay, because this is so weird. So, basically, kind of around the time, like, early Internet days, I think of myself as, like, pretty discerning, right? It's, like, I'm always trying to find, like, the best taco in Venice, and, you know, or, like, what is the best farmer's sink, or what is the, you know, like. We're going to talk all about that in a second. Like, I was always, like, cataloging, like, if I was on location, is it, you know, in my 20s, like, where's. Where's the actual place to get coffee in Paris? Because there were no guides, you know, there was no. Yeah. And then when the Internet started, all the information was so bad. And I was, like, I wish. Right. So, I was, like, I wish there was just a place where all of the good stuff was actually aggregated, and then I could save time, and my friends could come and, you know, see. And, basically, so I was, like, well, why don't I just do that? And then I was, like, well, this is early. This is 2008. So, this is, like. Oh, wow. Three. It's, like, almost 17 years ago. I'm searching for the list. There couldn't be a person who's searching more for lists than me. And I remember when your stuff started happening, and you're, like, hit list. And I was telling them you're, like, Christmas lists and all those. Yeah. Okay, keep going. So, I was. And also, I really. I kind of did so many films in my 20s that I kind of hit a wall. I sort of burned out. And then I had my daughter, and I was, like, okay, I'm not. I need to take a break. Like, I just. Acting? Yeah. Yeah. How'd you do it, though? Weren't you, like. I really felt burnout. Like, I really felt like I had exhausted myself. And I was kind of, like, who am I doing this for? I had a little bit of, like, an early midlife crisis. Did you feel, like, unfulfilled professionally? Like, you were, like, I've kind of done all of the things for so long now that what can I challenge myself with? Like, what's the next vulnerable thing? Maybe. You know, I think I felt like I had. I had sort of, like. I had done a lot of things that I felt proud of, and I think it was more, like, I needed to just. I was living in London at the time, and I had this baby, and I was like, I just need to be a person, you know? How old were you when you did. I was 30 when I had Apple. Okay. Oh, you were so young. That sounds great. That sounds like an ideal, like, path forward. Didn't you, like, start the interesting name trend? Yes. I feel like. You did. What's that mean? Oh. With Apple. What do you mean? I, like, remember hearing about. Is that a rumor that you thought she started the. No, I think that's what. No, I'm just saying it was the first time I ever heard, like, a crazy name. When I said she's top culture, I really. Because I was. I remember when. Like, I just remember hearing that you named your daughter Apple, and then you. It kind of became, like, the benchmark for celebrities naming their kids, I feel like. Sorry, guys. Dude, that's a good name. It's a great name. Oh, but to finish the goop thing, I kind of. I met with this great. I met with this great advertising marketing legend in New York named Peter Arnell for some advice, and asked him, like, what I should call it. No big deal. No, this was just. It's organic. Like, this had to be called. We need it every night. Will you say what happened today? Also, you know I'm an investor, correct? I know. Thank you. You actually know who the investors are? Of course, I know. Of course. I'm an investor. That's cool. Wait, wait. Tell them what happened today. When I opened the thing? No, the order. Did it get messed up? No. No, it's not your fault. You know, there's. Really, it's only. Both of these are both our faults today. Oh, no. This is not my fault at all. I ordered. No, no, it was not anyone. Meatballs? Oh, this is for my mom. I'm going to bring it upstairs for her. Oh. I ordered an order. I thought, you know, it's a. You know, your delivery guy will be a robot. And I said, okay. And then I put my phone down, took a shower, minded my own business, came back, like, 30 minutes later to check the status, and it said, order's been canceled. The robot was not able to, like, do what it needed to do. I was so disappointed. I know it's got nothing to do with you or your business, so. And then I ordered it again, right back. I'm not into robot delivery. That happened to me one time with, like, a smoothie, and it just never came. Oh, he has one problem with goop that I actually. It's my favorite part about goop. Tell me. And we'll say who's right and wrong. I'm such a goop fan. Like, I love it. Thank you. Like, me nitpicking is only because I'm so passionate about the brand. No, and he's wrong, and I'm right. And we're so happy that you eat goop, because I feel like it was the first, because I started eating it all, and he doesn't eat anything healthy ever. It's, like, the healthiest thing I eat. Is that the goop fellas? That's really good. Yeah, I have questions. But, okay, tell him his thing. Basically, I. Can I have a piece? Yeah, yeah, have a. Or is it for your mom? No, no, no, she's just gonna have a slice. Okay, I don't want to eat your mom's pizza. This is the goop fellas. This is really good. Yeah, it's my favorite one. I have questions, though. Okay. I love the Caesar salad. Thank you. I love the concept in general of chicken Caesar wraps. So, I was so excited to order the wrap. Yeah. My complaint is, it comes completely dry with the sauce on the side, untossed, or at least with. And I did it again, and it happened again, so I think it probably is a goop thing, which I understand is probably to avoid sogginess. But there's no way I can make that chicken Caesar wrap really taste like a chicken Caesar wrap by doing the dip, in my opinion. And he says it's too soggy. So, my favorite part about goop is that it comes separately, and all the things, and you build it yourself. As somebody who cooks, he doesn't understand the concept - But how can you toss it? You can't toss the salad. You don't need, do a dip. No, but you don't want it to be soggy. A dip, and then like, my POV is I order a lot of chicken Caesar wraps. And they come soggy. All yours are disgusting. Yeah, and they're disgusting. Yeah, but maybe they are soggy and I don't care. Maybe I just don't even care about soggy. You don't care about something like that. It's possible. Can I ask you? Yes. Okay. Would you be open to taking the paper off, not opening the whole thing, but just peeling back the wrap enough to slather on the inside and refolding? I would attempt that, sure. I think what would end up happening, I would find the task a little burdensome. And like, I'm not good at actually, like, I don't think it's going to be as simple as like, I think I would mess it up to a degree. And then I know the outcome. While it would be better than dipping, it still wouldn't be tossed as far as. You should just get extra and really dip it. So what's the difference if you really dip it? I'm just saying, it's just a different animal. Right when I come back down, we're going to play a game. But the seven. Seven minute egg. Oh, do you eat goop a lot? Like, or do you, like, if you order on the. I got your food. Finally. Oh, yeah. I booked us that place on Airbnb for the weekend. Okay. Does it have a kitchen? Nah, they forgot the kitchen in this one. Yeah, of course it has a kitchen. It's not like a hotel. It's like a big, like, palatial estate. And there's like a place we'll be making like linguine and clams. We'll go walk on the beach. You'll love it. Mmm. I just, I just, I just went upstairs, my mom goes, "Finally." And she goes, "I'm so hungry." I, yeah. Wait, I just want to know, what do you write? You said you're a writer. Oh, I write, I'm a rapper and then I also am a comedian and I have a TV show. Oh, wait a minute. Oh my God. Was it on Fox? FX. FX. Okay, I know who you are. I'm so embarrassed. What's, what's flushing into your brain right now? I just want to know what you're thinking. I like blushing. Why are you blushing? Because my son is obsessed with you. Yeah. Oh, wow. That is so, he's going to literally be. So upset that I didn't know immediately who you are. That's okay. No, it's cool. We'll just zoom in on your face right now and we'll put. It's, can you see how red I am? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. No, you don't look red. You do look like, like, I was thinking when you came in, I was like, wow. I was like, that's what like someone like iconic looks like. I know, I was like. You know what I, no, I was just like, whoa, it's like, it's, it's like a, do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Like a movie star. Are you a writer too? Yes. Yes. Are you from the Midwest? Yeah. Do I have an accent? Yeah, I can tell. Michigan. Okay, I got a game. Okay. Can I sit somewhere more? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm excited to sit down. I slept for five hours last night. It was terrible. That's five hours really bad? I usually sleep for eight and a half. Where do you want me to go? Wherever you'd like. Where are you going to sit, Chet? I'm going to sit right there. But before we do lifestyle questions, I want everyone is going to go around the room. We're going to do this, we're going to do this a bunch. We're going to go, first we're going to start, we're going to do New York, LA and London. And everyone's going to go around. And you have to give one of your favorite restaurants. Oh, I have nothing to say. This is great. I love this game. In the places. Okay, you go first. You want me to go first? Yeah, we're starting. Okay, what city first? Start with, let's start with our hometown of LA. Okay, LA. Yeah. Okay, I think my first one is actually going to be a grocery store, just because it's so good that I think everyone needs to know about it. Okay. It's called Sassone Produce. It's right next to Jitlada and like all, it's in Thai town. It's like Middle Eastern produce, but you can also. Yeah. You can import every day. Like you're getting like the most insane produce from around the world, like finger limes at all times. Like every, any, any. What's a finger lime? You like cut it open and it has like little pearls. At all times. And no, but it's something that's hard to get like Yuzu all times, like because it's different places in the world. It's, it's very, it's a cool place. Okay. I need to write that down. I'll make you a list. I need a. Okay. Okay. Your favorite, your restaurant. I'm not. I'm not good at this. They have things like, you know, um, what are those, those amazing like fruits that you, they're brown and you open them, tamarind, like. Yeah, of course. Of course. Oh, I love that. Okay. And they have amazing like fresh okra. I love okra. Okra's kind of slimy, but. I love the slime. Okay. Okay. Okay. So restaurant, just like to just be your favorite restaurant. Yeah. I'll tell you right now, this is my favorite restaurant. It's called the Great Greek. Okay. It's in Studio City. What about those old sushi? Like the original katsuya. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are good. Come on. Okay. Also, there's. I'd like to talk to you guys about the Great Greek. Okay. My favorite restaurant. You can't waste time on the Great Greek. Why? That's my favorite restaurant. I like the Great Greek. Okay, yeah. When I talk about my favorite restaurant, I'm also talking about the vibe and like really mostly almost about the vibe that I feel and the way I feel when I eat there. It's not when I get takeout from them that I'm saying, I'm saying like when I eat there. Now, I don't like the fine dining experience that much. Yeah, I don't like it either. I get it. Um. Live music. So my favorite version of like going out to dinner is like what reminds me of childhood, which is suburban restaurant type of feel. And this place really carries itself like kind of your local Greek restaurant. Where are you from? Philadelphia. Nice. Um. And there's also always live music. There's a man playing. Oh. The Greek like, you know like the. Yeah. Fast pace. Do they break plates and stuff in there? There's. They do things that make it feel. Things like that happen. Okay. Okay. Yeah. There's people dancing. It is so uh. What's yours? Charming. Okay. Um. Uh. What's that place in uh. Wait, hold on. What? Um. Like not. Uh. Mother Tom. No. Are you talking about Mother Wolf? Mother Wolf. Mother Wolf. Oh, I've never been there. I like it. I like the vibe. Okay. Like I like the decor. Have you been there? I have. Uh oh. No, no. The face says it all. No, I've been. I know Evan really well. It's, it's great. Okay. My favorite place to go, and it's kind of a guilty pleasure, is Lunasia. Oh, it's the best. What's that? My favorite. You've been with me. Starklighting? Uh. Like a brunch thing? Yeah, but that's the best part. Yeah, I struggle with that. Okay. I want to say a few. I'm just going to say a few and you tell me agree or disagree. Okay. Um. Yeah, we like, we like the dim. We like it dark. Found Oyster. Agree. Love. Ten out of ten. Safi's. I've never been. Have you been to Bavelle? Yes. Delicious. Okay. Incredible. Uh, Safi's is even better than Bavelle. Okay. It's the same owner. Okay. Good to know. Um. Okay. Hitlata. Delicious. Have you been to Spicy BBQ? No. Spicy BBQ? I gotta take you there. Okay. Um. Uh. Have you been to Northern Thai Food Club? Nope. It's cool. They're all in the same area. Okay. Um. Have you ever had Lalabella? No. The, the Ethiopian place? No. Okay. Delicious. Um. You got your work cut out for you. Seriously. Mini Kebab? What? Mini Kebab? No. Rafi's? Nope. I'm waiting to read this list. I need this whole list, Benny. Oh, do you know what else is really good that I've been three times already? Mac's and Helen's. Oh. Phil's. Phil Rosenthal's. It's Phil and Nancy's. Yeah. It's delicious. Okay. I, I couldn't go 'cause I was in Montecito right now. It's very good. Okay. Good. What type of food is Mac's? Uh. It's like. Deli food, right? It's like Jewish. Yeah. Jewish deli food. Now they're talking. It's really good. Um. Ella? No. It's the best waffle I've ever had. Oh my God. 'Cause waffle's not like a. You ever have a waffle in Belgium? I haven't. I have. I have. Was it great? I, I loved it. And I went to like a total chain. Speaking of like chain, like whatever the place to go in Belgium to get your Belgium waffle, I did not go to. I went to like first, you know. And I loved it. And I understood the difference. Okay. Great. Do you like the food in New York? Um. I do like the food in New York. But I mean, I think L.A. is a better food town. It's controversial to say. It just depends. I think like. You know. You know. In L.A. you get. There are so many. Like the diversity of the kinds of food that you find in New York. I mean in L.A. at the quality and deliciousness I think outshines New York. Just a little. You ever eat fast food? Like any. I love fast food. I know it's bad for you. I wish I didn't love it. If I grew up in a world. Tell her your diet. Well. I don't wanna do that. And tell. Please. If I grew up in a world where at the nice fine dining restaurants they like open the tray. And it was tacos. And I'd be like. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I were to put a purple bell in that thing I would believe that reality. That would make sense to me. This off to college season. Save on college. Save the every day. Amazon has turned this whole room into a dorm room. I know. It's a good dorm. And it reminds me of my good old days in my dorm room. How about you? My dorm room was small. Are you drawing the S? Oh yeah I was. Michigan State. For my college. Yeah. I thought the S was for Michigan State. But it turns out everybody drew the S for different reasons. Do you guys remember this S? Zoom in. Wow. You know what that S stands for? What? It stands for. Satisfying to Amazon customers. Who've gone to the off to college option online. Yeah. I think it might have been. Because look I remember back in the day when I went to college you had to go to one store then the next store and just have this whole cobbled together like not even cool room. Now I can be strategic. Yeah. If I'm in college which I'm not. And you can get it done quickly. Thank you. So remember with Amazon's low off to college prices just save on college. Save the every day. It's a white cloth summer. I love mango. You like peach I'm sure. I know you like black cherry. Okay now let me just tell you what we're going to be doing. Picture us sliding on a boat. Maybe I'm on a jet ski. I could be on like a wakeboard or a pontoon boat. Chuck you ever been on a jet ski? I have. I don't like speed. You ever gone tubing? I have. I don't like speed. You ever gone wakeboarding? Slow. I went tubing one time. It was going so fast. It whipped around. I fell in the water. My bathing suit got sucked off my body. I had to return to shore naked. Really? Yeah. I love tubing. This summer is a white cloth summer. We're going to have fun. We're going to grab life by the claw but we're only allowed to say one word now. Fun. Will. Happen. Immediately. When. We. Open. White. Cloth. Please drink responsibly. Hard seltzer with flavor. White Cloth Seltzer Works, Chicago, Illinois. - Do you cook most of your meals every night? 'Cause your kids aren't, are your kids-- - My kids all left. - So it's just you and Brad? - How's that, how does that feel? - It's, it's, it's really hard. It's really hard, it's really sad. - Oh man. - I really miss 'em. - Damn. - It's just, it's heartbreaking. I thought by now I would be used to it. - How long has it been? - Like eight years, no just kidding. It's been, this is their, the second fall where they're all four gone. 'Cause I have two and then I have two amazing stepkids. And they're, the girls are the same age and the boys are the same age. So when the boys left like a year and so ago, it's hard. - Are your boys yours? - So I have one girl and one boy and then Brad has one girl and one boy. So I have two girls and two boys. - That's so cool. - Before they went to school, was it like, you would have like big, like everybody would be at the home together? - Yeah. - Yeah. - And they all get along? - They all get along and it's so fun. - That's a dream. - Were you nervous before blending families? Like when you met? - Oh my God, it was so hard. - Really? - It was like the hardest thing I've ever done. - How did you approach it? Did you like sit? - It just didn't go well for a really long time. - So it ended up being- - Wait, the kids didn't want it? - Oh, I thought this was like a fairytale. It sounded like a Disney movie. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Wait, tell us, well actually that's probably pretty personal. - No, it's okay. You know, I think it's so necessary and I'm so glad we all went through it, but it was like, it was really, really tough and I think there are, there are these like endemic dynamics that exist and they're sort of like almost, I feel like they're passed down, like it's almost like epigenetic, you know, like these things about a stepmother and how fraught that relationship is and why. And I understand why because, you know, kids can feel like they're being sort of demoted. - Yeah. - And they're not, but they can feel like if there's a new parent that comes in and it can cause, you know, a lot of, a lot of disturbance. So it was hard. It was really hard at the beginning. - Did you do like family therapy? - We never did family therapy altogether, but we, I don't know, it just like ended up, I did a lot of work on myself and around like, why is this so triggering and why are my feelings? Why am I so hurt? And why am I having like these non-adult reactions to a child, you know? - Yeah. - And they ended up, it just ended up teaching me so much. And I'm so, I really am so grateful that I traversed through all of that, but it was, it was rough, but now it's amazing. - They're all best friends. - They're just like close. They're, you know, they're siblings. - That's like the beauty of life. - Didn't you like, aren't you, don't you have a thing? It's like conscious, unconscious. How did you know I was gonna say? - Is that you? - Tell me about, tell me about conscious uncoupling. - It's like another, like, I would say like, - She's an inventor. - Yeah, defining things of like culture. - Basically, so I was married to a guy named Chris and we lived in London and we decided we were gonna get a divorce. We were gonna separate and, you know, and we really sat down and thought like, is there a way that we could do this? Because this is like very me, but when I was like, when I was getting divorced, I was like, how, how do I do this? So I talked to all my friends who came from a divorced household. And I said, tell me what was the worst thing? Like, what do you feel you have scars from to this day? And they said, you know, it wasn't really so much the divorce. Cause like you're a kid and you, yes, of course, the idea of it is terrible, but you sort of get used to that quickly. They said the worst part was like my parents, you know, my dad used to drop me off at home. He used to kick me off at the end of the driveway. Like it was so tense at my birthday parties, you know, they never ate dinner in the same room until my college graduation and it caused me so much pain. So I was like, how could we not do that? Like, is there a way where you can sort of circumvent all of that awful stuff when no one is in the same room and get to the like graduation where you're all having dinner at the same table. So Chris and I had this therapist that was really brilliant. And he sort of introduced us to the concept and we just like made a commitment to really put the kids first. And so what that meant was to stay a family, even though we weren't a couple. - Yeah. - Were there times where you were just like not, cause I imagine if you're getting a divorce, it can't, there are like stressful things relationship wise that then you just like were forced to just put on, like a smile or were it, was there like space to kind of talk to your kids about? - You know what? I remember like one particular heart, like we moved to LA and we used to have brunch every Sunday, the four of us. And I remember one, it's like early on in the thing, Chris and I were upset with each other about something. I can't even remember what it is. And I was like, this might go really off the rails. And then we like, it was getting tense. And we like looked at each other and we went outside on the front porch and we're like, let's just not, let's just, you know, let's just not, let's just like, and we just hugged and we're like, okay. We like fist bumped and then we went to brunch. - What year did you guys divorce? - We divorced, I think we separated in 2013. And then we divorced maybe in 14 or 15 or something like that. Maybe 15. - I met your kids when they were like babies one time. - You did. - And like, how many kids did you have in 2010? - Two. - Okay. Yeah, they were like babies. I met. - 'Cause yeah, they were born in '04 and '06. - I was like, I was like in a weird world. I was like living at Jay-Z and Beyonce's house. And I just remember, you weren't there though. It was like, they were like there for some reason. I think like Chris came and picked them up. They were like, I don't even know. I didn't even know what was happening. But I have the vaguest memory of just like meeting them when they were like babies. That was, I just thought of that just now. - You sure it happened? - 100%, yeah, 100%. - And now they're like full. - I know. Are you a strict parent? - I wouldn't say I'm strict. I think I'm, I think I'm principled. Like, honesty is really important. And like, kids are going to do that stuff. Like, they're just going to. So you can either pretend they're not and like be in denial. - Or get with the fucking program. - Or just get, you gotta get with the program. Like, they're going to do it. And I remember my dad said something to me once when I was like, when I was in my late 20s, I sort of appalled. I was like, I was having coffee with my dad. And I was like, I'm sorry it was like such a pain when I was a teenager. Like, 'cause I was sneaking out and I was, you know, hanging out the window smoking cigarettes. And I was, you know, and I grew up in New York City. - That's cool. - And like, you know, I was like out at bars at four in the morning, all the things. And I was like, I'm really sorry. And he said, you know what? You were bad in exactly the ways you are supposed to be bad as a kid. He said, as a parent, you only ever worry if your kid is like outside the box bad. And you were inside the box. So my kids were inside the box, naughty. Like it was not. - Did you ever have to have like a conversation where you're like, I can't believe I'm having this conversation? - I love those conversations. - Really? Why do you love those conversations? - Because I think they're so, it's like where the best part of life happens, you know? Where like, because they're emerging as their real self and they're like presenting something to you and they're gauging like how you're gonna take it and are you gonna accept them fully and are you gonna be their friend and ally? And I just love it. - Was it hard for them having famous parents? Like, do they, or are they just, I feel like they kind of did a good job of-- - Yeah, when does a kid-- - That's a good question. - Me and Selena have been talking about like how do we raise a kid? How do you do that? Like when does a kid know like, whoa, like what? - As soon as they become like more sentient and they understand like-- - He doesn't know what that means. - You know, you're like at a restaurant and someone comes up and they're like, sorry to bother you and the kids are like, you know, maybe they're three, maybe they're four, but they're like, they start to see like, why is this happening to my mom and not like Freddie's mom? And it's sort of a slow process. I mean, I think my kids have handled it really well. I have to say like, it's an ugly world out there and like, you know, to be the child of a celebrity or two celebrities and then they both wanna go into the arts and so, you know, which I'm totally supportive of. I think it's amazing, but you know, I think it's like, it's just other potholes, right? It's like every kid has something and they have this weird thing, you know? - Chuck, tell her your life-altering experience with the phone call when you were on the phone and she said, David, come in here. - You know, actually, my brain was going to a different childhood story during this and so I'll tell the story and then I'm curious, we can play the game of if I was your son and I was like 13 when this happened and you caught your son doing this, what would the conversation be? - What would I have said? Okay. - Then will you tell the other one too? - Sure, sure. Okay, so I was a boy, suburban Philadelphia, and I had a neighbor across the street who was like, like a year younger than me, two years younger than me. You know, we were at the same bus stop. Didn't really have a friendship, didn't talk, never really communicated. But she would smoke cigarettes on her, she had the top floor of her bedroom, and she would smoke cigarettes, and oftentimes she would smoke cigarettes in just a bra. And I had. This is in your apartment building? No, this is in my house, so just across the street. Oh, across the street, I see. It's like a suburban street, I'm in a home, the house is on a street, and she's like on the top floor, she's got like this kind of like. And then sometimes she would like sit on the roof and. And smoke? It's very Margot Tenenbaum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta tell you, there was a brutal consistency with like every night she showed up and she would smoke. She wasn't always in a bra, but it was just like. And I gotta tell you, I gotta be honest with you, I got a pair of binoculars, and I looked so forward. I never like masturbated or anything, but I was turned on by the experience, and I was really. You were a peeping Tom? I was a peeping Tom, I guess. And I just found it exhilarating. But I also felt shame. And so if you saw me do it once and then didn't say anything, and then you realized, you kind of noticed I was doing it every night, would you say something? Am I wrong? What's going on? Wait, so are you saying the girl noticed that you did it every night? No, the girl had no idea. I was a fly on the wall. Okay, your parents knew you were doing it? No, no one ever found out. This is a theoretical thing. I don't think I've even told many people this story. You told me the story. I think that we are way too hard on ourselves and our children when sexuality is emerging, and for some reason, we as kids end up pairing our sexuality and shame, and it's really hurtful, and it's not good. So I don't think you did anything wrong. I think if the girl's on the roof in a bra smoking, like, you know. Grab the binoculars and let's rock. She might have known. I just think. I just think. I just think. I just think. I just think that that's actually very sweet and, you know, not at all, like, a creepy thing. Like, I think that's very, very natural. And I really do think it's hard for parents to talk to their kids. It's, like, hard to navigate that water with, like, I don't know what we would do with. But this is, like, a story from the 1950s. I feel like back to the future. It's, like, cute. Okay, you tell your thing. Okay. Her son probably knows this story because it was in your show. I did put this show. This was a defining scene of my life that I made a defining scene of my TV show. I made a TV show about my life. Basically, I was not the guy that got the girls, but I was really funny and I was everyone's best friend. And for whatever reason, one day I had. I was just hanging out with, like, you know, I would be, like, best friends with, like, the cool, pretty girls. And I was hanging out with two of them and they just decided to let me feel their breasts. Like, I had never felt any girl's breasts before. And now two girls were offering. Just out of the blue? Wow. And this was, like, an isolated, incredible moment. They were your friends, right? They were my friends, but it was, like, never did. I did not. I did not ever see this day coming. I thought maybe one of them would fall in love with me eventually, which he did for a month. But on this day. Yeah, it sure does. It does. Yeah. I didn't take advantage of the month, but. Who, what? Which girl was I again? All right, get back to the story. You can bleep it. Oh, yeah. My first love. Bleep it. Please bleep it. Don't let her know. Keep at him. Keep at him. Here they were, two girls offering me their breasts. I felt them at the same time. We part ways. One thing that did happen in that moment, by the way, this is going to be a lot of information, Okay. After that, they said, now can we feel you? And I was not ready for that. And I also had. I was born with penis issues, and I had surgery on my penis as a baby, and so I was so far from being ready for this. Ask your son about the penis issues. He'll update you. Okay. So I said no. This is on the TV show? Yes, yes, yes. Yes, season one, episode three. There's a flashback. Well, episode one, you get the penis story. My rap name is Lil Dicky, in part, because of this penis story. And this is the seminal moment of this penis story. Okay. So I say, no, thank you. But it wasn't that. It didn't feel that weird. Anyways, I get home, and I call one of my best friends, and I tell him everything that just happened. And he's like, you felt both of them up at the same time? And I'm like, yes. Then they tried to. They said, do you want us to feel you? And then all of a sudden, I hear my mom say, David, hang the phone up right now. And then. And I love my mom so much. She said, hang the phone up right now and come to the room. And I love my mom, and I guess I'll ask. I'll ask her if anyone sees this. I already put it in my show. So, Mom, it's already been documented. Anyways, so then I go upstairs, and my parents kind of proceed to kind of lecture me about how I'm moving with a crowd that's, like, too fast for me. And little did she know that, like, you know, I'm the last guy to every single bass. And I found the whole thing so triggering that I literally broke down in tears, and I said, like, what does it even matter? Like, my dick's too fucked up to ever show a girl anyways. And then she was, like, I had no idea that, like, you were even thinking about this. And, um. Oh. Yeah, and there was just nothing. It was such a lope. I remember being like, I can't. I, like, I had the wherewithal to think, I can't believe I'm, like, crying in front of my parents about, like, how my dick isn't functional at this age. It's because they're good people to cry. They were on the journey with you. Yeah. I love my parents so much. They're my favorite people in the world. That's so nice. Yeah, I'm so lucky to be raised by. I talked to your mom about this, and you probably related to this, where. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you have, like, a boy, and you, like, you're. Like, you change their diapers. You're so, like, a part of their life. And then she was, like, one day, obviously, you grew up, and she was, like. Your dad and her just never talked about your penis again. Yeah, how can they? They, like. Because they didn't want to make you uncomfortable, so they just. His penis is insane. What's wrong with it? No, it's not insane. No, it's not. Um. What do you mean, insane in what way? In the membrane. Basically. Basically. Basically. Okay, I'll give you a three-second little synopsis. Um, he has a thing called hypospadias, okay? So, if you look at a man's penis, you know how the hole's in the middle? Yeah. His hole is underneath. But does it look normal? I think so. Yeah. I think it looks cute. Are you satisfied? Yes. His dick is made of testicles, and he also. He also. If he doesn't shave his penis, he gets hair all the way up till the very top of his. I feel that we should not be laughing at this for some reason. What? No, it's his favorite thing in the world. It is? I recognize it. I recognize that it's funny. His dick could solve. I mean, I think it's funny. I think it's funny. His dick could make world peace. It's like. You own the insecurity. It's the greatest penis I've ever seen in my entire life. Wow. He also. He also. He also can pee out of. He has two pee holes. That, to me, is the most interesting detail. When I pee, you know, out of the normal hole, which obviously is on kind of the underside of my dick instead of the middle of the head. But then, also, there's, like, this one small hole that you can't even see, like, with your own two eyes. But it does, like, there's this thin, such a thin ray. Let's talk about CLR Brand's Calcium Lime and Rust Remover. Well, I was just going to ask you, Dave. What? Have you ever cleaned a bathroom? Ever. I've picked up after myself. But you never cleaned one. From the ground up? Yeah. No. Do you? Yes. Well, let me get started. With CLR Brand's Calcium Lime and Rust Remover, I can get on my hands and knees and scrub. And I'm ready. And I have to say, I think she would like that. And it blasts calcium, dissolves lime, and zaps all that rust. You're talking since faucets tile and grout? Yeah. You know what? Next time I'm in the bathroom, I'm going to look around and I'm going to see what areas I can spray. I'm not much of a cleaner. I do other things. I do other things. But now that you have. But I can become. And I will become. Learn more at clrbrands.com slash pep talk. Can I talk to you about eBay Live? I would love if you talked to me about eBay Live. eBay Live. It's got the capabilities now. I mean, this is. Look. Let them see. This is live. That's cool. This is happening in front of everybody. I feel like this is where eBay belongs. Like, they've been. This is eBay. It's good that they're continuing to add on. Add on. Add on. Keep building. Keep growing. Keep changing. Keep changing. Keep evolving. Keep having fun. A little bit of something? Yeah. I would love that. What do you want? A sports card. Something. Rookie? Something rookie. Yeah, I could use something rookie right now. I don't even know. Baseball? Yeah. What do you want? Oh, honey. Oh. Did you say, oh, honey? Isn't it, oh, honey? Oh, you're talking about. Oh, I thought you said to me, oh, honey. Like. No, I was. Oh, honey. eBay Live is live. Interactive shopping on the eBay app. Watch live, shop live. I got three questions off the bat for you right now. I was looking. I was taking notes when I was in the bathroom earlier. And they're all. Are they all penis-related? They're all sexual-related. Okay, let's hear it. One. Tell me about when you started the whole, like, yoni craze thing, like the steaming. Tell me about this. You know what? This is so crazy. So we put a listing. There was a day spa in Santa Monica. I forget the name of it. And we put a listing for this spa. It was great because they have, like, a Himalayan salt room and they had a sauna. And this is a while ago. This is, like, in 2013. And it was. And they had amazing, like, you know, those, like, deep tissue Asian massages where it's, like, that, you know, pain, pleasure, threshold thing. And just in the listing, we said that it's this Korean spa and one of the things they offered was a yoni steam, which we thought was so interesting. It's, like, you sit on this thing and then they put herbs and then they steam your yoni and apparently it's. Makes sense to me. You're cleansing and it's balancing. A yoni is a vagina? Your vagina. Yeah, a yoni is a vagina. I don't know in what language. How did you even know what it was at the thing? Like, did they. Well, it's. It was clear that it was like. How? Because it says, like, the woman, you know, sits on a hollowed-out seat, and we place under the yoni. Like, it was really clear. Yeah, yeah. So we didn't even do it. Like, we didn't even test it out. It was just in the listing, and it blew up. And it was, like, headlines all over the world. So then we were like, we better go get a yoni steam and see what this is all about. Yeah. And it was fantastic. It was? Yeah. Yeah, there's, like, ceremonies where they do, like, yeah. It was so nice. Does it, like, even out the pH balance or something? I think that's, I can't make claims. I don't know what it does, but all I know, it was great. But it sounds cool, and it feels cool. It felt great. Okay. Now, my next question that I'm 100% sure you know what's going on. Okay. I can't wait. What? To hear it. Tell me, I want to know about the vagina candle. Okay. Because, obviously, you knew what you were doing with that. This isn't, like, you stumble upon a thing, and you're like, whoa, they got vagina candles? It's like, you're the manufacturer. Yeah, we all know. Wait, tell us about that. No, she's the manufacturer. I am, but, so this is the true story of how this happened. I'd love to know. So, I have a very, like, a very bawdy sense of humor. And nobody really knows that side of me. I don't know why. But I just, I don't, I, you know, it's like my closest circle. Like, when I get to know you guys better and we're not being filmed, you'll know what I'm talking about. I think we know with the vagina candle. So, I. I was working on a perfume scent for Goop with this amazing nose named Douglas Little. And I like things that smell kind of unusual. Like, I like woodsy, leathery. Like, I like that kind of, you know, like our first perfume was called Church. Like, you know, it's like incense-y. And I like sort of unusual smells. Your house smells great. We were, like, experimenting with, like, tomato leaf. This is, like, way before the tomato candle got, you know. And seaweed. There were all these amazing, like, kind of earthy, beautiful. And so, I said to him, I go, well, this one, like, this one smells like my vagina. As a joke, we were laughing. So, he, he's like, this is brilliant. This is so funny. So, he thought I was serious and made a candle called This Smells Like My Vagina. And my team, like, bought the candle. I thought I was joking. And anyway, the rest is history. So, the truth is. It does. It doesn't smell like your vagina. Correct. It was just a joke. It was a joke. Interesting. I just, I just smelled it. And I said, there's, I mean, all. Well, talk about marketing. I just smelled it. I said, there's no way this smells like your vagina. It's like, it's like such a crazy smell. I thought it did. Me too. It, like, took the world by storm. I think people think that. I think people do. It definitely does not smell like my vagina. It, it, and you know what? It became such a big thing that we actually stopped selling it because it was, like, distracting people from what we were selling. You know, we had to pay so much money. I tried to get one for today, and we got it, and we had to buy it, like, on the black market for, like, $600. I know, it's crazy. I should just make them again. You should make them again. Will you give me $600 after this, please? I'll give you a Goop Kitchen voucher for $600. I don't want it. I'm an investor. I need that. We'll take it. I would take anything you want me to give. Okay. I'll give you each a vagina candle and a Caesar wrap with dressing in it. Mixed in. Don't. You could make it the Dave. No, you know why? Because when I, like, you know, when you get feedback that someone's not happy with something, like, it's, I will now be thinking about this and how to solve this problem for you. But maybe, look, there's clearly a tradeoff between sogginess of wrap. There's a reason that it's not being tossed. I'm sure someone thought about it. That is why. That is why. But. I wonder if there are certain wraps that just get less soggy. But the thing is, our wraps are these grain-free wraps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. You know, so it's not like it's a really durable flour kind of wrap. And I think that's probably it. Yeah. It's better that you can dip it because sometimes when you get a wrap and it's so, like. Maybe it's not that soggy. Maybe do another. Just one more. Maybe people thought it'd be soggy. And they said, this will be soggy if we toss it. Okay. I'm going to make you your own. Okay. I have another question. Okay. What is it? And I'm so, like, how you say you're, like, Selena laughs at me. I couldn't be worse with, like, pop culture. Like, she's always like, how do you not. You know, like, the most obscure thing in the world. But you have no idea, like, who, like, whatever some person is. I feel like you know everything. You know everything. No. Pop culture-y. I know stuff because of her. No. I do. You knew everything before Selena was even. I do not know. I do not. She makes fun of me because I don't know who, like, I don't know who the actors are. I don't know, like, what the people's names are. I don't know, like. I feel you. Yeah, I really don't. I'm behind with it, too. I guess you know all music. Yeah, yeah. Music stuff. I had, like, I had, like, one of the most embarrassing experiences on. Um, some, like, late night show. Uh. You didn't know the host? No, I didn't know, uh, I didn't know Millie Bobby Brown. And I was like, who's Millie Bobby Brown? And it was like, and I felt so embarrassed that I reached out to her afterwards. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. This wasn't, like, a diss. I literally just didn't know who you were. That's okay. I'd never seen that show. Stranger Things? Yeah, I've never seen it. Um. It's good. I hear it's great. I gotta see it. Yeah, you should. I watch stuff way late. Okay. But, okay. So, I don't even know if I'm right. Okay. And I might be really stupid, and, but I think I'm right. Okay. Um, when you were, like, way younger, you dated Brad Pitt, right? I did. You did? Yeah, I did. Okay, I'm right. Now, like. Not only dated. And how old, how old were you when you dated him? I was, like, 22 to 20, like, four, five. And is he an older man, or he was the same age? He was older, so he's, um, I believe he was nine years older than me. Okay. Oh, I didn't realize you were that young. I have a question right now. Yeah. So, like, in my head. So, everything's playing out like I thought it would in my head. Okay, okay. Now, like, were you just, like, was it, like, oh, my God, this is, like, because you, like, grew up watching him on, like, movies and stuff, right? I grew up, I remember, like, yeah, seeing, like, Thelma and Louise in the movie theater. Yeah, and then you're, like. Being, like, that is the most handsome man. Yeah, and then you're just, like, sitting here one day, and you're, like. Yeah, how did you guys meet? Like, isn't that insane? And does your new Brad get annoyed if you tell this story? No, I mean, my, Brad. My new Brad. Your husband. My husband. You only date guys named Brad, so in case you mess up on the names. Okay, okay. No, Brad, Brad Falchuk knows he's the total love of my life. Yeah. Like, he totally knows. He's so the package. It's crazy. He is, like, my best friend. He is the most brilliant, gorgeous, like. He's so hot. He's so hot. It's crazy. It's bananas. I see him without his shirt on. I've heard you talk about how hot he is before. Yeah, yeah, I see him without his shirt on, and I'm, like, I always say things, like, when I go home. You stop pressing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I say things. I say things to my friends, like, because we work out, like, with him sometimes, and I say things like, oh, my God, if, like, if I could ever look like, forget it, like, at his age. Like, if I could ever look like him physically. He has the perfect body of what, like. He does. Like, because it's not, like, true. I don't know what he looks like. He's so hot. Just type in Brad Falchuk shirtless. He's, like, the hottest Jewish guy ever made. And he made, like, every. More hot than him? Check. He made, like. Like, every show. Let me see. Let me see. You guys can both be hot. Brad. Okay. So, you're, like. You think he's hotter? No one's hotter than you. So, I got cast in the movie Seven. Did you see that? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. We were talking about that movie today. What was it like? That head. Your head. Yeah. Jeez Louise. We were talking about it today. I love that movie. Okay. So, you get cast in the movie with Brad. So, I get cast in the movie with Brad, and I met him on set, and, like, we had, like, kind of a love at first sight thing. It was pretty awesome. It was really fun. Did you go home and tell your parents? Like, because he was so much older and also famous. I don't know. I thought, like, French. Yeah, but were you, like, ooh, he's, like, an older Hollywood boy? No, because he was so beautiful, and he was, I think he was 31, and I was 22. So, it's when I was, I don't know. He's hot. He's so hot. Oh, wow. This guy's Jewish? Yes. Did you see him shirtless? Looks like he's, like, Moroccan or something. Yeah. Well, his dad was Venezuelan. You saw him shirtless, right? I see that. He eats pizza, like, once a year, he says. He works out a lot. Yeah, he works out constantly. Yeah, he works out a lot. I mean, he's 54. That's, like, you know. Yeah, wow, that's unbelievable. I know. He's, like, really. So, okay, so you're 22, though. So, I'm 22. You're 22, and then, like, is this the type of thing? Yeah, there was, like, tons of paparazzi. Did this thing, like, break out? Like, was it, like, a. It broke out. It was the biggest thing, wasn't it? Do you know, I didn't even. It was a big thing. Do you know, I didn't. This is how crazy this is. I didn't even know. Selena, like, thought I was, like, so dumb. Do you know, I had no idea that Brad Pitt dated, or I think he was married, to Jennifer Aniston. No idea. Didn't even know that was a thing. Yes! I only knew. What, Benny? I swear on my life, like, my mother will die today. If it, like, didn't. God forbid. Didn't. Well, no, that's how. She will if he's lying. She will. Yeah, yeah. I did not know. I thought it was only Brad and Angelina, and then Selena was telling me, no, that was, like, the whole thing, that when Angelina and Brad got together, it was, like, broke up, like. Mr. and Mrs. He must. I was going to say, he did movies. Okay, so 20. Where are you going to meet somebody? Yeah. Were you before Jennifer, then? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well before. At 22, it breaks, it's, like, breaks open, and, like, are you, like, are you. Were you, like, in bed? Was this, like, your first public relationship? Yeah. Yeah. Because I. It's sort of, like, and I had movies coming out, so I was sort of getting famous on my own, and I was famous as his girlfriend, and it was, like, a very, you know. Well, yeah, was it, like, overwhelming at the beginning? It was overwhelming. I'm right for saying that you. He proposed, didn't he? Yes, we were engaged. He did? Oh, you were engaged? You were engaged to Brad Pitt? We were engaged, yeah. I don't know anything. Anything. Like, you could have so many other relationships that I didn't know about. All I knew is, and I just found out the Brad Pitt thing in you. Like, I think one of you guys. Who was the person who said? Me, I think. Yeah, she said. I heard you on a podcast, which I knew that you guys had dated, but I did not. You should tell them the story, because if you care to talk about it, I feel like it's probably annoying to keep talking about this thing in your 20s. I don't know any of it. It's not annoying to me. But you must have had to. Because you didn't get married, right? We didn't get married, no. So you had to break up the engagement. We, it was. Conscious uncoupling. Yeah, that was your first go at it. I don't know. I was just young, and, you know, we were working all over the different parts of the world, and it just, I think it was just not. Did it feel like a fantasy more than a reality? No, I mean, that's a good question. I like that question. I do like that question. I mean, I think there was an aspect of it that was very heady. You know, I was very young, and he was this beautiful movie star. But he's a great guy. And I love him to this day. He's a friend. Had he done Fight Club yet? No, that was after. He was on my show. I loved working with him. He's like, to me, like. He's such a great guy. Yeah. When you guys broke up, did you feel, because I feel like any public breakup is, I couldn't imagine. But also to be so young, to be engaged to a movie star, did you feel like you had to, like, let go of this, like, this, like, fantasy or, like, dream that you were, like, attaching to yourself? Or, no, you were. I was, like, I was so bummed out when we broke up. And I think that the press aspect and all that makes it feel larger than life in a way. Like, you have to carry this, like, faux important, like, cultural importance piece. And it's, like, this extra burden and this extra almost shame that, like, you know, didn't work out or whatever. So it was hard. Was it hard? I just thought about this. So, like, the press of when you and Chris broke up. Yeah. Was that hard on your children, like, all the publicity around it at the time? Or were they so young that it didn't work? They were pretty young. Yeah. And we, it's so funny. We went, we kind of went to this island in the Exumas, the four of us. Oh, with the pigs? No, not with the pigs. Oh, okay, okay. But we went to this island. No, there's a famous island. Yeah, we swim with the pigs, right? We went to the island in the Exumas, yeah. Well, that's, like, that's the only time I ever hear someone talk about Exuma. It's in the Bahamas, right? It's just a funny thing to have no idea. I have no idea what, but. I know what you're talking about, the pigs. I get it. You don't know about the pigs? Yes, I do. But the point is, we went, like, really far away, all four of us as a family. And then we kind of, like, dropped the news. And then we didn't come home for another week or so. Yeah. And they were, we were all, the four of us were all together, you know, and. Yeah. Sleeping in separate beds? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Just curious. And then, but they were young, and, you know, we did the best we could with it. And, you know, fame is such a strange thing, you know. I know. And especially in the culture today with all the social media and the amplification and everything. Tell me about it. The schadenfreude and the, you know, it's tough. It's, you know, I mean, listen, like, it's also incredible. Like, the best part is, and you will agree with me here, you can get a great dinner reservation, right? That is true. It's, like, pretty great. Yeah. But there's, there is, you know, there's, there are definitely some hard things that come with it. Like being, you know, so publicly criticized or, you know, you worry about your kids and their feelings. Like, so, it was, it was a tough time. How have you, because I feel like you've been in the public for so long, and you definitely have been. Even, like, the, the, the candle. Like, I just feel like I remember hearing, like, you've always kind of had a lot of positive things, but then always negative things. Yeah. How do you detach? I mean, it takes, it takes a while, right? Because it's, like, I think when we're young, like, it's very hard not to be attached to your ego. And your ego is what feels the pain. being criticized and I think as you go through and you know I've also done a ton of therapy and I've really tried to take it like I really do believe that we're always where we are meant to be even like on the heart especially on the hardest days especially on the in the circumstances where you're like why is this happening to me and I really think that those are like the character making moments and you know for me when I have felt really criticized like if I went through a phase where it really hurt my feelings then I went through a phase where I was like you know if if someone's saying something I started to notice that if someone said something bad about me and it wasn't true or like that stopped hurting my feelings I was like whatever this isn't even true I never said that or like I wasn't even there or blah blah blah but sometimes things would still hurt my feelings and then I thought to myself well why does sometimes it doesn't hurt it doesn't hurt when it's not true but it hurts when it's when it's true and I thought oh right because it's true meaning there's some aspect of this where I'm I am I am holding this judgment against myself yeah and that's why it hurts to be called out right like you know I don't know impatient or I you know it's like but if you're not already holding that judgment against yourself it doesn't hurt your feelings yeah so then I kind of tried to work on that well like damn I need to forgive myself for holding this particular judgment against myself and now I'm kind of in this phase where I'm like and I'm not totally there yet but I I'm like god wouldn't it be so interesting to be able to just hold misperceptions and not react to it like truly not be triggered like what would that be like like that kind of sort of mastery of like untouchable I'm not triggered at all you're not no ever no it's not true by comments that people write oh well yeah general I don't think are you only I think we were talking about the publicity side I think it's both I'm just talking about like yeah when something negative yeah is written about no never you're never I mean I'm not I'm not no no very much anymore but I definitely you know I think it's different for men and women and she's also been doing you've been in the public eye since you were like yeah yeah for men and women it's it's much yeah it's different and you know it's it's it's a it's we do live in a sexist yeah they criticize one like seeing like all the stuff people say I mean you're married to a famous one of the most famous you know it's like yeah yeah it's a it's a beating all the time yeah yeah it's crazy it's it's it's it's it's like the mental olympics it's so you have to really detach from it you have to really like turn inward and know your worth know yourself know the worth of your relationships and try to just like there's no such thing as doing like if you're a female and you're famous there's no way to be right ever like it's always there's like always like someone is always gonna say something like if she does that thing that's right they're gonna be like no this was wrong because of this if she does the other thing that she's gonna and and I remember one time she was giving advice to me she was like somebody tells me I'm doing something wrong every day she said you know she said the president of the United States makes statements about me she said I can't she said if I spend if I think about one thing then I'm gonna think about everything so I just have to just like like she doesn't even have Instagram on her cell phone it's crazy I don't either but but she's the most followed woman on Instagram and she doesn't even have it on her cell phone so crazy I gotta talk to you about Paramount Plus and I'm excited too because it's football season and the NFL is on CBS subscribers get access to all national games on CBS including and especially Thanksgiving and playoff matchups CBS has the best crew we're talking this is like my whole life I'd wake up I'd put on CBS great analysis of the sport incredible incredible I love football and I love my team I don't know if I can talk about it I don't know if Paramount Plus wants me to talk about the Eagles but we were all talking about them we also like the Lions not as much we do like them she might Paramount Plus is the streaming home to the NFL on CBS all season long see you Sunday E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles can I tell you about a time I was scammed yeah New York City a man put headphones on my head he said do you like this I said yeah he said what's your name I said Dave he started signing the CD to Dave I said what do you he said you said you liked it and I paid him ten dollars I was emasculated in front of my ex-girlfriend well that's a he was he was kind of good it's a Keeping your money safe from fraud deserves to be a priority, and Cash App treats it that way. A security lock. Cash App requires a successful face ID or biometric authentication to access your account. It's like your money is protected by your own personal bodyguard, even if your phone is lost or stolen. Plus, if you're about to send money to someone new, and Cash App notices that something looks a bit off or that you might be falling for a scam, it will send you a warning before the money is sent to confirm that everything looks right. Download Cash App today. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's banking partners. Visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. When you go to, because I feel like, well, women are, even if you're not famous, but especially if you're famous, you're under such a microscope. It's, you know, it's inevitable that. For sure. Taste the gook. Keep going, keep going. I'm just tasting it. When you go to bed at night, you don't have, like, circular thoughts or, like, there's nothing. Like, what's keeping you awake? Like, is it really, are you truly at a place where you're kind of like, I. Have tough skin. Like, I don't have to kind of fall for maybe all of the fame stuff that you probably did when you were like younger but now you have like a family and you have kids and you have a you have a business like what do you what's keeping you up at night I mean so that kind of public stuff does not keep me up at night what I like I'm having like such a hard time hormonally right now and so I get like I get hormone induced anxiety and I'll get like these crazy thoughts yeah like where I and I've never had anxiety in my life really no and this is like a new thing in the last year it is truly horrible like I I struggle you know how often does it come it comes like once a month wait what do you struggle with I miss the anxiety me too but I normally never did it's only hormonal I never believe anything my mom says about anything and when we were on the way here she's upstairs she said because she's like I don't know what to do I don't know what to do you know I suffer a lot from anxiety she goes you got to talk to Gwyneth about anxiety I just recently read she's suffering from anxiety yeah and I go mom are you sure it's not an AI video or something because she always is wrong but it's true no it's true it's true don't come down yet but it's true so you've experienced it now so I never had anxiety my whole life and now with hormone like my hormonal stuff I I'm like not every night thank god but some I'm like I'm like overcome with anxiety yeah how do you calm it down not based anything like meditation breathing exercises but it's hard it's it's like a lot of are you allowed to say are you allowed to say you do you smoke weed you know I don't smoke weed do you eat it no it won't help with the anxiety oh my god it helps me so much no I'm not I've never been a weed person you know I like OD'd on weed yeah yeah and it was just really not like you truly like it was like a like I was hallucinating yeah like I way overdid it and then I've I've tried it obviously a few times since then but like it doesn't work for me at all do you drink I used to drink I drink like I probably drink one drink a week what because it wrecks my sleep yeah I'm noticing I know to sleep you're talking about I know because I can't drink I can't the only thing I can drink is sake a little bit it doesn't really mess with it but if I have like two drinks I like can't sleep I'm up is it the sugar and the alcohol you know I don't know because actually alcohol doesn't spike your blood sugar so I can't figure this out like even wine like diabetics can drink wine because it doesn't spike the blood sugar so if it doesn't spike the blood sugar I'm wondering why I think it things I think because yeah for me yeah there's like a dope like when I was a depressant yeah and then you have that like the shift in hormones like in your body I think is like adjusting to the state it was before you kind of had the drug worth it yeah I mean I think it's the biggest treatment thing that you would say is the biggest um as you get into your 30s yeah like maintenance II good I don't care how much money it is just like the best outcome I mean I think I really think it's multi-pronged like I I think it really is good nutrition hydration sleep you know trying not to eat too many processed foods alcohol stuff like alcohol is aging um and then topically you know like good a good like clean retinol serum is good like we make a great peptide serum that's like um was in a medical journal it really yeah it's like called the youth boost peptide and like the before and afters are amazing like for fine lines and wrinkles when do you put it on morning and night I'll be good I'm goopified right now I do stuff last night it has become this thing that like it's like how you know as a woman what what has kind of been like the stamp of approval no I always look I'm like embarrassed that sometimes like because I'm like the one who's always finding all the stuff sometimes if I'm like looking I'm like oh I'm gonna be in Paris oh I just saw a thing on goop where it says like good hotels to stay at I have one last question okay you did a collab I think it was I don't know what it is Caitlin has these plates I've been I like every once in a while I'll try to find there was like goop plates and they were you mean the like the one with the like the most beautiful thank you and they're dishwasher safe they're so you you mind sending her a few they're gone they're gone they were a collab you know it was ephemeral well you can buy them on ebay like a candle I just bought for 500 I tried to buy them on ebay I'm gonna reimburse you for the key well thank you I think it was 600 okay it was not I'm gonna reimburse it might have been 500 I'll let you know okay okay guys that was so fun Thank you, White Claw, for sponsoring this episode.