The Great Dyson Debate

The following podcast is a dear media production, the following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Benito Skinner. I'm Mary Beth Brown. And this is Right. I don't even know where to start today. Well, I can start somewhere where I feel like everything could kind of start. Should I read what this says just really quick? Yeah. Doing a birthday party at a rock climbing gym, where Mary Beth plays the man who gets me ready to climb out of the hole in Dark Knight Rises. And a bunch of semi friends in the industry do that chant - no rope. Okay, so I was literally getting my phone out to describe my dream 40th birthday to you. If we make it to 40. If, if, if it's good, what's that from? Hercules? No, no, I don't know that one. Unfortunately, like, I just didn't have that many friends to hang out with. So I've seen too many Disney fucking movies. That's what I'm finding. Like it has nothing to do with. I know a lot of that, but Hercules wasn't in my heavy rotation. Whoa. It wasn't female centric enough. Megara didn't give you enough. The users didn't give you enough. And Megara, I was very attracted to. You look like Megara. But thank, and thank you for saying that. But they want this. People really want us as Hercules and Megara. The trades are talking. There's some fan casting happening. You know what they do to me? They go, oh, you'd be perfect as who's this little, um, oh, the little fucker. Yeah, the little pissant. Come on, Hercules. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're, you're, you're a pain. Don't cut them in a straw. They're like, Benny's booked the role, but it's a pig. It's a CGI pig. And you just do the boys. Oh, it's my favorite. I'll read a script and I'll look. And it's just like, gay guy who you want to fucking punch in the face, who hates you. Gay guy who makes hate crimes. Okay, Randall. Literally. Yeah, exactly. Sex of s**t, mother fucker. And the first one to me, like the first line is like, are you really not going to fuck him? You dirty bitch. And it's like, yeah, Hollywood is a thing. I can see everybody comes to Hollywood. That I'm doing yoga and Pilates in the classes. Well, the hotties that I'm looking at, their bodies. Do you think I'm satisfied? Madonna. So we haven't done much Madonna in here. But I have a complicated relationship. Oh, interesting. Yeah, we don't have to get into that. I don't want to amplify that. Thanks. So this 40th birthday, I don't know how I thought of it. I think I was actually at dinner with Adam and Rish in peace. There's something. Okay, because here's the thing. Because as everyone knows, we have a shared notes app, doc called pot opening. And usually it's one word in there. Or we'll add like three words, like a phrase just to make us think of it like airport times, which I is in there. And I still don't know what it means. But I know you did that. It means you wrote a whole paragraph. It was very, very abnormal. It's unusual. Okay, range. Girl, I love that. Well, I just, that's how I get on my head. Thanks for part again. We've been making fun of you guys this whole time. We're on a full sound stage. We've been laughing. I'm like, well, did you guys at least record it? Because we have to put these episodes out. That would have been your first thought. We recently did a comedy festival. And Mary Beth came to me and the only note she had were just like a few logistical things that stressed her out. And it was so cute. I love you being like, they didn't have the ribbon right. Denying tags weren't right. I don't like that. It's okay. Sweet. It's not. It's not. So imagine this. There's this rock climbing gym in Idaho. And I will say like the ones that are in LA are some, God, I wish there was a way to say this any other way. But I guess I'll just do this. And you guys know, I'm not misogynistic, but there's some pussy shit that they're just not as aggressive as the ones in Idaho. The rock gyms that I grew up going to. You were high up. It's dangerous. It's dangerous. It's like the one is just dire. It's like you are up, up, up, up. So there's this one. And I think it's still there, but you know, and I just thought, oh my God, okay, I have this birthday concept. So I bring everyone's concept birthday. Well, of course, health privilege, travel privilege, a concept birthday must be nice to me. Maddie Toronto. Yeah, it is about 20 minutes of every fucking day. So I keep forgetting to turn the timer on. I think I know how long I've been talking for. Those are the logistics. That's my little girl, my little work group. So imagine this. Everyone's given, well, they know my birthday's coming because I've etched the Batman thing in chalk, kind of on posts and lamps throughout Boise. So then people are like, oh shit, the 40th is coming. And they haven't seen me, by the way, in 10 years. Now it'd be a really good time for you to come home is what everyone's saying to me. Oh, I'm not going to do it. I'm still right now. It's okay. I rewatched it two weeks ago. Oh, okay. Yeah. Good. So and I said, I want kind of random people from the industry there that I'm close with, but not that close, not super close. Yeah, but they feel like they have to come 100%. So they come to my birthday and you're dressed as the old man who helps break my back. This is all a Batman reference just for those that haven't been. So for those who haven't seen dark night rises, Bane breaks Batman's back and then puts him in essentially, it's like, well, it's a well, it's a well, to dry well, it's a prison, it's a well, but make it prison. And so he's down there. And essentially, you can try to climb out if you dare. It's very mean to drama. You could see, but if I was you, I'd do it without the rope. A child did it once. Good luck, Bruce one. Wow, she puts on the TV to watch Gotham burn. So it's me at my birthday and I commented, everyone there were playing the Hans Zimmer. All these are just keeping your brains. This is all industry. These are industry people. No, no family, no family, no really close friends. I'm talking industry. So then I have to, with no rope, come, I walk through this crowd of industry professionals. Are you wearing like you're wearing like a cloth? Yeah, of course. And you are full boy drag, boy drag has the man. Joe Calderone. You're very Joe Calderone at this. Yeah, I almost had tucked. Do you know something? Girl, I wish. So then we're walking through. And yeah, you're the guy who's like, you did it without the rope. And you say that to me because I have the rope on at that point. So then I take off the rope and I say, I don't want it. And then as everyone's going, I start to climb and I get to the top. And that's me at the 40th. I don't know what I do at the top. How do you get down? Well, I don't know. We bring out a big trampoline. I go back. Let me tell you rock climbing is hard for me because, you know, getting this ass up to the top. It's not always easy. It's the things they carried. But yeah, that's just kind of this big 40th birthday concept I have for someone who doesn't care about his birthday. This is a little crazy. Well, you're allowed to care every once in a while. It's it's caring every single year that gets a little stressful. I think. Yeah, if I cared about the 39th, that'd be crazy. And just so everyone knows, this is a long time from now. Right. 20 to 50 years. I was at least. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think? I mean, I'm obviously so in. I can't wait to get boy drag, an old person drag. And I'll be 42 at that point. So maybe I won't even need to be aged up that much. I mean, my God, I'll be over the hill. I'll be a total fucking crypt keeper by the end. I'm kidding. I'm totally kidding. I think 40-year-old women are I think so sexy. Every single person I'm friends with is so much hotter than when they were. When we were all 25. I agree. No, my phone's so new. I thought we're peaking at 25. We didn't peak at 20. My phone showed me a photo of us at 25 and I go, I wouldn't it. But years, here's the thing, my darling darling girl. I was in the gym recently. With JR. Yeah. So I'm with JR. And no, actually, he wasn't available this day. So I was with Andrew and shadow Andrew. We love you, darling. I know he doesn't listen. Right. But he did watch over compensating. Oh, that's nice. Love that. I come to the gym and it's kind of later in the day. This isn't my usual time slot. And there's a different trainer there who I didn't know. I go, who the fuck's that? And he's training this guy and they're playing all Hans Emmer scores during this workout. That's so straight, man. Holy shit. That just really is scary. Is that bone chilling? So imagine me, I'm doing full, like dips to S T A Y. It was crazy. And then all of it, I found that it was so like annoying halfway, because I was like, what the fuck's this from? And then they're like, dude, too, you know, they screamed at me. Then they, of course they did. And then they beat the fuck out of me. And they let you on fire. And they pissed on me. It was so weird. But yeah, I just, I had to tell you that I found that I would say most unsafe place in Gotham that day for a woman to begin. Right. Right. I just thought, oh my god, if a girl walked in here, I don't know if she'd survived. No, that's not that's private. It's not for, but I all to say, I don't think that's what the bird. - No, the word they would be more jovial. - 'Cause once I get to the top, it's, this is how we do. - We do. - Yeah. - Till they backstates. - Yeah, we do it. - We do it like that. This is how we do. - Do do do do do do. - This is how we do. - Well, I just dropped my phone 'cause I'm so excited to do ads for our long-time friend and collaborator, AG1. - So it hasn't loaded on my phone yet, but I think you fire away. - Slippoon. - Oh yeah. - To lose my voice. - Fireway. - Fireway. - Whoa. - AG1, it's your daily health drink. 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I have to say that, even though we were just saying bullet proof, but it provides a great foundation for the day. And I can tell it's making a difference in my gut and digestion. - They have these like packets, but also the packets come in berry now. So you can take them on trips because I'm really irregular on trips. - Give the new AG1 flavors a try today. If you head to drinkag1.com/ridepod, you will get a free welcome kit worth $76 when you subscribe, including five AG1 travel packs, a shaker, canister, and a scoop. That's drinkag1.com/ridepod to get started. As a card carrying girls girl, I have something to tell you. - That should be your link in bio. - That should be my link in bio. - Don't you, oh my goodness. And you really caught yourself a girls girl. This summer is not only about being sexy. It's about having a better morning after you heard that right. You might be waking up in your own bed or you might be waking up in someone else's. They may or may not have navy blue sheets. LOL, that's none of my business. But it doesn't matter because Julie has you covered. The Julie morning after pill uses the same trusted gyno-recommended ingredient as plan B to delay ovulation and prevent pregnancy when taken up to three days after unprotected sex. If there's no AG, there's no fertilization. You know it would be fun if we taught a class together and I sort of get the information out and then you're doing more whiffs. - And kind of disseminating that information. - And making it stay. - Exactly. - If there's no fertilization, there's no pregnancy. It's called science, the women and STEM. The earlier you use it, the better it works. And when you need it, Julie should be your plan A because it's more affordable than the leading competitor. Think of the savings as another drink on Julie. - Yes! - And the best part is that it's so easy to use. All it takes is one pill and you're ready to get on with your life. The morning after pill cannot end an existing pregnancy and it won't affect further future fertility whatsoever. Do you wanna read where girls girls everywhere can find Julie? - Girls girls everywhere can find Julie at CVS, Walgreens, Walmart, Target, Amazon, and GoPuff across all 50 states. No age restrictions and no ID required. - Ever! - Hey, come on, pop a Julie. - This podcast-- - Squarespace, please! - Not gonna surprise you that it's brought to you. - Squarespace! - Squarespace. - So, Squarespace, where do we personally begin? It's very personal connection with us in these websites. - And we just head to marivethbrown.com if you wanna see it in action. - What about, is it Vicki.com? What's her URL? - I don't think she got Vicki.com, but-- - Vicki the Princess. - Love, I'll look it up. Squarespace, Vicki, that's my sister. - Vicki her majesty. - Vicki.com. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs like my sister to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing tutoring business, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time. Wow, I mean, should we get into some product features? - Yeah, it's just name one and I'll tell you about it. - I guess I would probably say selling content. - Yeah, so, let me just kind of rack my brain from the selling content. - Yeah, I know you know all this, I know you know all this. - So, to me, I mean, Squarespace makes it easy to sell access to content on your websites, like online courses, blogs, videos, and memberships even. So, you earn recurring revenue by gating your content behind a paywall, simply sit the price and choose whether to charge a one-time fee or subscription for access. - And I'm just gonna talk quickly that the SEOs will-- - Please, I was gonna say they're gonna do that. - They're integrated, yeah. Every Squarespace website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, things that I know what those words mean. And auto-generated site maps and more. So, you show up more often to more people in global search results. And you know what, they also make it so easy to manage payments all in one place on Squarespace. So, go to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch Squarespace.com/ride to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. - Okay, on that note, I did wanna say that I heard that there is a theory that Irish step dancing was invented so that-- - Don't. - If British people walked by, the, I guess, Irish people weren't allowed to dance or something. - Felt loose, sure. - So, if British people walked by a bar and they looked through the window, they wouldn't be able to tell that they were dancing 'cause they weren't moving their upper bodies. This is just one theory. So, you know, Irish step dancers only use their legs. - Wait, wait. - And so, they were like, fuck it. We're just gonna do it live, but we're gonna keep our upper bodies completely still. - That is so mean. - And I just thought of you instantly. - Wait, that's when you think of me. - I just was like, I need to tell Benny that. - Well, of course you thought of me because I literally, I'm king of just moving my hips and the top stays, 'cause I don't wanna spill my drink. And I also don't wanna give too much. - No, of course. - I'm kind of like, you can earn the top. - Yeah. - But for now, I'm just gonna give you this little figure eight. - Yeah. - That's what I tell people. Just do a figure eight with your hips. And if you can't, there's nothing I can do at that point. - It's just-- - Unfortunately, if I'm the dance instructor from Honey, at that point, if you can do the figure eight-- - I said, I want Honey. - Do not. Don't Honey. - Honey is a good movie. It was one of the first movies I ever saw that portrays like a predatory man in a position of power like on like a young woman creative. Because doesn't the record label guy want her to like have sex with him and she won't. - I think so. - And then she like, she gets blacklisted. - Same with legally blonde. - Yeah, oh my God. - That's true. - Yeah, as a kid, I was like, whoa. - And I did wanna say I read Mark Ronson's book. It's such a good book. It's called Nightkeeper. - I need to wait. - And it's about him being a DJ in the 90s or becoming a DJ and then music producer. And it's so good. And it made me nostalgic for a time in New York that I wasn't even there for. But there used to be a law. Giuliani wanted to like basically put an end to club culture 'cause he said that it was like leading to more crime or whatever. So there was a lot in New York. - Absolutely, into more crime. - Yeah. - Okay. - There was a law in New York. It was like an old law that they resurfaced where you couldn't have people dancing in a venue unless you had like a dancing permit. So if the cops walked into a club that didn't have a dancing permit and there were people with their hands and their foot in the air at the same time, they could get shut down. So basically the cops would bust these clubs up. And when they heard the cops were out there, Mark Ronson would have to put on like sit-com theme songs. And everyone stopped dancing and the cops come through and they're making sure no one's dancing. And then they leave. But I just thought the law. - What is all this? Footloose is real, I'm finding. - And Giuliani is so stupid. But it was just funny to me that they were like, if we catch anyone with their arm and their foot in the air at the same time, you guys are so busted. - Describe that to me. That feels like a Disney Channel interstitial where you're on a trampoline. - How the fuck are they? - I don't know. - Are they fully in the air? - It's just one hand and one foot. - Oh, yeah. - Well, I kind of am always doing that. - I know. - You'd be in jail. - It's me. - Take me away. - It's me. - You have a right to me. - That's what I'd say. - Yeah, they're right. - They're right to me against the law. (laughs) - And then you pull this crap over by the brain. - God, I'm dying to grab a bitch by the brain. - He's grab a bitch by the brain. Those are just some factoids I brought to the point. - Mark Ronson is a huge celeb crush for me. - Oh my God. - Do you know what Terry got me one time? Do you know this? - See you in a birthday video? - I said, 'cause Terry works with Mark Ronson and I said, "All I want is just a video of Mark." - You know what? - Say happy birthday to me and Mark literally did it. It was so cute. - He is such a king. His book gave me a lot of hope about like, straight guys who are able to like write about emotion and like emotionality and their work and taking pride in their work. And it was a really quick read and I just really loved every second of it. Having said that, I once got a cameo. My friend Kira got me a cameo for my birthday from Simon Rex. This was pre-read rocket and he calls me a little pamphlet girl 'cause I had that viral pamphlet thing. - Oh my God. - A lot of maybe the ride listeners, the Baroni's don't know that my first ever thing that went viral was when I went on a date on vacation and I made a pamphlet for my family of FAQs. - Oh my God. - I just went viral. I was at my jazz job at SoulCycle and I was going viral and it was so hard to just contain it. But basically then from, you know, it was picked up by like news channels, I didn't interview with the BBC about this pamphlet. So then my friend Kira got me a my birthday cameo. - Okay. - Yeah, let's go. - It was insane and it was like, it wasn't like Mary Beth Burrow and Blank. It was like a woman in New York. That's like, yeah, pamphlet girl. So Simon Rex calls me a little pamphlet girl. It's pretty cool. - I love that. - Actually, I'm gonna pull it up. Yeah, I think it'd be fun for people to hear this yeah, let's hear it. Hey, what's up? Mary Beth. I am full of girls just want to say keep me happy 20th birthday. Just want to say a little pamphlet girl You know what I mean? I just you want to know where I'm at right now. I'm right here in Los Angeles I'm a boy's crib waiting to get in and get some water and keep moving like a blood transfusion like not an allusion And I love you so much. I want to say happy back then Because I think the cameo is like please wish my friend. I wasn't turning 20 though I don't know. I don't it wasn't my 20th birthday. Yeah, it was like please tell my friend color pamphlet girl and just we're Running where you are. I was thinking in that moment. So that's 13 years ago, but no It wasn't I was like yeah, you look great. He looks great. That's someone that I would say I would love to connect. I would love to connect. Yeah, just shoot the shit. Yeah, like hang out and talk about stuff I think I just want a big old bear hug from our club. I think I'm gonna get one. I'm definitely gonna get one I am not gonna talk about my dating life on the podcast until I've been married for at least five years That's my new approach. It's just not something I'm gonna talk about Sorry, it's hard. I will say the only change that I think has happened in ride is that sometimes I want to share a little bit less Because sometimes things get pulled and they just want to protect Also people and some private things, but it is tricky because I want to tell my kids everything But sometimes it feels like it's not just for us. I said that I thought weed was ruining And it got clipped and people got mad at me. They're like this white woman this white woman. I blame capitalism I blame corporate grief. I'm joking and trust you have blamed all those things as well If you don't know the full body of work, please don't come for me And so then people are like I also did a disclaimer saying if people use it to medicate that I'm not talking about them I'm talking about people who have really adverse reactions to being like stoned all the time And I think that that is just like I think people get sucked into a hole But it's you know, it's just one clip. We know you okay Sometimes I think it's all bots commenting because I'm like oh you guys cared that much to like do this That's the thing. I'm just a little pamphlet girl So please standing in front of a boy I asked him to love her. I was gonna write for nodding Hill today But you wouldn't let me there he goes on London again You said and then you slapped me twice. I said the London at all. It's feeling a bit personal I've had enough stop trying to get me to go back there. Sorry. I Just think we've done a lot of movies. I think nodding Hill could be like our Christmas special or something and when I was saying early Oh, that's perfect and when I was saying earlier You know about like you're so you know you are anti-capitalist and you are these things so today we're gonna get into Dyson the great Dyson debate so This is so unpaid. I'm looking to camera. Look to camera. Here's the thing. It couldn't be more unpaid I have multiple Dyson products none of them have ever been gifted no discount And I've encouraged others to buy with no discount. I know so I'm writing for it the Dyson hair dryer And I'm writing for the Dyson vacuum. It's called the air blade air wrap. I think it's the air wrap. Oh totally. It's a wrap Wait, where are we going who cares ride The Dyson vacuum cleaner is just one of my favorite things I've ever purchased So sometimes there are these words on tiktok that get demonetized and then they get in my brain as like what the word actually is So then when people want to say rape they say wrap they say wrap Really? Sometimes and I'm like what and it just so yeah, so I just had the Dyson Air Race. I'm so glad I could say that here Yeah, I'm not keeping up. Oh, of course Trigger warning, but we're not getting paid to say this in fact like our hard-earned coins are going to Dyson And when we're happy to do that and I do want to say that Dyson's are It's health privilege. It's travel privilege. It's a luxury to have a Dyson I'm not saying that anyone should feel pressured about they do go on sale sometimes You can get them at like best buy you can get them at target Walmart things like that I don't want people to feel like there's a disconnect between what we're talking about and people's day-to-day lives I feel like a vacuum cleaner is something you can have for so many years. It's worth the investment Sharks I'm here today 10% of my business You're my mark Cuban. Hey, oh, I am so Mark Cuban. I like Mark Cuban. I don't want to hear anything bad about him So please don't tell me there's maybe Barone's that are saving up to get a Dyson They don't have one yet and that's totally fine. I'll see you don't have to have one sometimes you can just see one in someone's house and like let her rip and you pick it up Fucking back and you go to fucking awesome. I go okay. I thank you every day. I have sometimes twice a day So many stories of you vacuuming my house. I vacuum your house This checks you some our fucking Dyson this morning. Why are you vacuuming my house? God, there's so much right Laura amongst Dyson I'm on Dyson alone and so I think Dyson was created by a brat or is he Australian the Dyson guy? To me, I was just like Swedish and I kind of went as I thought about yeah, I don't know what I don't know to me It was like stock home 100% but maybe not I think it's British. Oh God. Just like the lines. Yeah, so Here's what I ride for about you go first you go first today in my family home We have these really powerful vacuums. They're called electrolux vacuums And it's like a whole production to take them out of the closet when moms and dads plug those into walls that like suck out the The lights in the whole house flicker. Yeah, it's like it's a lot of power. I used to put those on my mouth And again, bronies. We're not saying everything we talk about on here's going to be relatable Some things are unique experiences and like having a Dyson might be that putting vacuum on your mouth might be that so Come on. I there wasn't that much to do in Idaho. I know and those vacuum cleaners like like there's a guy that comes to fix them They're not things that you can just like fix if they break. So those are really high-power heavy duty We had one on each floor of my house. Can I just one or six kids six kids So when I had my own space, I obviously needed something a little less cumbersome And I needed something that was easy to take out and easy to use and I have one room. I live in a studio I just want to remind everyone when you think I'm out here living this flashy lifestyle. I have a studio apartment But what I love about the studio is you can see every set of sex from any angle and it does smell like sakes And I need a Dyson air purifier one of these is oh, do they have those? I think they do Okay, I haven't invested yet So the Dyson vacuum was something that I experienced in other people's homes first And I just said to myself I know it's a little pricey But for me where I'm at in my life right now you can see any speck of dust from any point in my apartment So I invested in a Dyson when I got my place and I have never looked back I vacuum at least once a day sometimes twice I have pinky of course. She sheds a little bit. I vacuum the couch. I vacuum the carpet. I vacuum the hardwood I keep that thing charged and I vacuum in other people's homes because it's gratifying to me I like being able to see a messy floor get clean and I found out recently they make a kids Dyson So if you have a kid, that's like a little homemaker. You're kidding gay Hard girl You can get them a little vacuum That's just sweetie. Exactly. Whoa. Yeah. Okay. I know what I'm gonna do when I have little chitlins when you have little chitlins So I'm gonna get it for my nieces and nephews. It's just fun and it's cute And I I love that it's so easy to use and for a girl like me. It's all about simplicity So I love the Dyson vacuum and it's easy to It's easy to empty, but one thing I will say is that I've made the mistake of so you open the trap door It's like on it. It's like in theater. It has a trap door. You open it. Yeah, of course Well, there's drama, but when you push the thing back in the dust falls again So you always have to close the bottom before you push the top back and everyone listening knows that but then you're gonna You're gonna visualize it. I thought it dust on my floor a lot But you know what I do right after I just vacuum back again and then you go. Yes. Yeah, you get excited It's it's circular in that way. So when you do it I think what's just strange is that you didn't describe what you're wearing because usually you're completely naked with heels on well With the Chanel But with the Chanel wedges our friend Emily accidentally posted a video of her Dysoning completely naked on TikTok and she got banned she got banned for right to not posted I think she wanted to post it privately. It was for no one but her but she put she's like holding the stem And she fully got banned like her account will never be recovered. She showed lip. It's porn So she showed lip on TikTok on a kid's app So anyway Okay, here's my thing. I always think like we're going to get some document like where are the exit like I want it I want the book also someone in the Biden administration knows what it said at least because surely they read it I'm just so confused by the whole thing. Oh, I know they were in there going They were licking his page going oh, I want to read it. Oh my god. I think it's gonna totally like undercut everything we know about society and people or a firm or a firm But no, I think there's going to be some people in it that we're going to be really like hurt by we're going to be hurt I think over the past like 10 years if you haven't already been used to getting hurt pretty consistently Like I think some people have trouble letting heroes go as you know I'm not one of them. I cut people out almost immediately. It is what it is at this point I so understand that song by the way So here's my thing about the Dyson vacuums Mary Beth loved her so much that I got one because anything my wife does I know I could do bigger and better totally it's me a ham. It's so me a ham me a ham michael jordan Anything you could do and I could do better remember those ads. Oh, I do remember that me a ham was on everyone's wall She was the name on every kid's lips. I did love me a ham But I was more into like sports that were more dance-based gymnastics that sort of thing I wish I wish dancing. Yeah, no upper body movement. So there's this room River Dance. I love River Dance. I used to watch as a kid. So that's so funny to me that you, oh my God, there was this girl I went to elementary school with who was an Irish dancer. >> See him, obviously. >> Oh God, here's my thing. It's such an eye roll when someone has something like that because then they're always bringing it to show and tell their talent shows. >> Because the costume. >> And it's like there she goes again. She had Ringlet curls. I was pissed. I was like, fuck, there she goes again. >> That should be me. >> No, I was like, fuck, she's not even doing it, right? She has no stage presence. I don't know. >> Shout out to her. >> I know she's good. >> So have you ever heard of a data broker? >> Yeah, yeah, I was with one for years. >> Yeah, I remember. Weird era alert. There are the middlemen collecting and selling all those digital footprints you leave online. They can stitch together detailed profiles which include your browsing history, online searches, and location data. >> The data broker or the data broker just depends on your vibe. >> Yeah. >> Like they sell your profile off to a company who delivers you a really targeted ad. And it's like that's no biggie, right? That's kind of cool. Well, you might be surprised to learn that these same data brokers are also selling your information to the Department of Homeland Security, Homeland Security, and the IRS. >> And so they know what you're watching. I for one don't want the tax man showing up at my door because of some search I did on my phone. >> Hello? >> Who is it? Pinky, Pinky, stop. Who is it? >> Ma'am, you looked up the lyrics to all of Roaming Mars' songs for six days in a row. >> So to mask my digital footprints, I protect myself with ExpressVPN. >> So here's the thing. It's one of the easiest ways for data brokers to track you is through your device's unique IP address, which also reveals information about your location. With ExpressVPN, your IP address is hidden. That makes it much more difficult for data brokers to monitor, track, and monetize your private online activity. I mean, my God, they're just with you, believe it. >> ExpressVPN also encrypts 100% of your network traffic to keep your data safe from hackers when you're on public Wi-Fi, which we are a lot. Travel privilege. ExpressVPN works on all your devices. Phone, tablet, laptop, you name it. Just tap one button to turn it on and you're protected. It's that easy. >> That easy. So I used ExpressVPN recently when we were in Canada. >> When you were in Cincinnati. It was totally broad. >> No, we were in Canada and we needed to watch it in just like that. And remember, remember, remember you're like, how are we going to watch? And I flipped my computer to you and I turned on ExpressVPN. I go, sweetie, we're in Miami trick. >> So protect your online privacy today by visiting ExpressVPN.com/ridePod. That's EXP, R-E-S-S VPN.com/ridePod. >> Good job. >> And you can get an extra four months free, ExpressVPN.com/ridePod. Remember when I kind of sort of infamously rode for doing the thing? I was talking about that doctor's appointment you were supposed to make a while ago. One you meant to book that you got sidetracked because you were on TikTok for 17 hours and you completely forgot about it until now. And your knees hurt, it's dude. >> Somebody's adds a really cuck-base. >> No, they're super cuck-base. >> Yeah, because you never do it because you don't do anything. You do it your mommy tells you. >> You do it your mommy tells you. >> I want to make a ride products catalog where it's like the Yorkville dress, the cuck chair, like you rename all the products. >> Delaya. >> Delaya. >> Delaya. >> They don't even know about the alaya yet. >> Well, there's such a big dress drop in coming. >> So soon. So here's the thing. Sometimes you need to go to the doctor and Zockdock can help you get there. I just thought of that. That's not even written in the copy. >> Yeah, it's crazy. I found a doctor on Zockdock. Went to the doctor because I had a rash on my eyes and they found out it was like a bacteria thing and they took care of it in two seconds. >> Whoa, whoa. >> Yes, Tecra Limus. >> Tecra Limus? >> It burns so bad when I put it on. My eyes were watering all through watching weapons, but it's gone. >> But it looks so good. >> It's gone, sweetie. >> Zockdock is a free app and website both where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click instantly to book an appointment. >> Zockdock is a free app and website where you can search. >> I just said that. >> Okay. Keep up. >> So I would definitely keep that. >> I would say just go to the next bullet point if I were you. >> There's so much sexual tension between me and you lately. I swear to god. Listeners are like commenting that. No, there's three key out. >> So with Zockdock, you can book in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty for mental health, to dental health, primary care, to urgent care, and more. >> Are you considering having sex with your gay best friend? >> Yeah. >> Maybe you need to go see a therapist. >> There's a therapist. >> And you can find one on Zockdock. >> Yes. >> So stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to doc.dock.com/ride to find an instantly book, a top rated doctor today. >> That zocdoc.com/ride. Zockdock.com/ride. >> So the Dyson. >> The Dyson, so I got one. And I'm not a huge vacuumer, but I will say as far as the OCD side of my brain, it is really fabulous to see the rug start to shift and kind of go, and I love playing Sabrina Carpenter as I do it. And I kind of move my hips and my stomach and just kind of the really incredible thing. Dyson has these things where it's like the use of a ball. So, do you know what I mean? >> The use of a ball. >> It's like, brr, you want to talk about new shapes. It's like you can do like kind of an, I'm so glad now this is a visual pod. So everyone, once you get home tonight, put this on the boob tube and you've got to see me do this. But it's like the wake- >> It's a whole new range of motion. >> It can get into crevasses. It's just, it's incredible under tables. So I got one of these, but I'm going to tell you a little story about a boy who was staying at a studio apartment, not luxury, not big Hollywood type shit, just studio apartment. >> Bumble, beginning. >> Bumble. >> Where I'm still at. >> Very humble. >> Yeah. >> Wait, where do you put your vacuums? Sorry, now I'm trying to think, is it in your closet? >> I put it in the closet with the washer. >> Because what's incredible about the Dyson is there's kind of this hook. >> I don't have the hook and you have to screw that in the wall, which I don't use, I don't use power drills, that's just not. >> I'll see you. >> Part of my life. >> But I'll make sure that when I put it in to your apartment, that you see me do it. Because you don't believe that I change the shower. >> Sometimes I'll call you and you have a wrench in your hand, and I'm just like, where the fuck you sticking that? >> I was so happy you called when I had a wrench. >> Yeah, I don't know what that was. It was weird, weird to see that. >> But kind of with my scruff and that, you were like, I do think you're going to fall for me soon. It's just my big thing. I'm going to get an email. >> Oh, yeah. Oh my God, one day I'm going to ride for my emails. Her emails. But you're going to ride for my professional emails. I'm going to ride for my personal ones. >> Release the emails. >> I have confronted so many people over email. It's going to shock you. >> Nothing shocks me. >> Sue me I want to be here. >> That's how it starts. I walk into this bathroom and I go, can I use your hairdryer? Because it's like, I want to get the cloth going. And you're like, yeah, of course, here it is. You take it out this Dyson Air Wrap. >> Well, I don't have an Air Wrap. I have the other one. >> You have the circle one. >> Hair dryer. Yeah, I'm just going to look up what it's called. >> What's it called? >> It's just a Dyson supersonic hairdryer. >> So there's this supersonic hypnotic. >> Hypnotic. >> Hair dryer. So she pulls it out of a dust bag. You had it in a dust bag when you saw it. >> Yeah, but it comes in in leather case. >> Yeah, other people bring it out. And it's like either they're taking an AK-47 or a Dyson Airblade. >> Yeah. >> So to me, it's the Airblade. Or the wrap, I think, is if you're curling your hair. >> Sure, wrap is like a wand. >> Yeah. >> Which I love and it works really well. Once you have some time with it, you have to practice. You have to do it like the wrist. It's not just something you could do right away. >> Of course. Did I tell you about the time when I had the glam, glam privilege came to, I was in, where was I? >> I think I was in Paris randomly, sorry. >> Travel privilege. >> Travel privilege as well. >> We're losing them. >> God damn it, they just love it. >> The monies just turned over to us in the morning and they said you're losing me. >> They said Dyson and glam. Fuck you guys. Fuck everything you stand for. And after they say that, they light up a huge blunt. >> Yeah, and they-- >> Wait, they hit a vong and they go to work. Two middle fingers up. Fuck Mary Bethbrone. Fuck Benito Skinner. And I'll never watch queer as fuck. That's what they said. What was I saying? >> You're in Paris. >> This guy comes and I say like, oh yeah, I'm kind of thinking about doing like the freckle to head. So I'm like, you know, where you do like freckles? >> And that, what was this? >> This was like two years ago. I was like, yeah, do freckles on me. Because actually Katie Jane Hughes, who's unbelievable, we love so much. She did my makeup one time and did freckles and was so cute. So this is where there are levels to every field. And so this man comes in and I'm like, yeah, freckles. And I was like, and then I might just do like curly hair. He takes out a mini curling iron, which I kind of have curly hair. Like if you just put some like, you know, curl cream in it, we're kind of good to go if you use the diffuser, which the Dyson diffuser head is like fucking insane. It drives your hair in like two seconds. Blake used it on me and overcompensating. Blake, we love you. We miss you. He like, so this man then takes out a mini curler and starts curling individual hairs on my head. And I just think that's probably not how anyone else has done it. But who knows? >> Viva La France. >> Viva La France. >> Viva La France. >> French despats. >> Exactly. Once he was done with everything, he quickly left. He fled the scene. >> He fled this scene because he had done. He had turned a man into orphan Annie. >> I have an orphan Annie story. >> Hey, everyone does. >> I'm going to tell it. >> I looked in the mirror after I just immediately started laughing. I had to immediately shower. I didn't go to the event. Because it's kind of like when you had dry skin at school. It's like, well, I'm just like, yeah, there's no point. No, I was just like, this can't be saved. And I'm not starting from scratch. So I guess this is what it is. But yeah, I was fully orphan Annie. And it was a hard long life. >> So in middle school, my mom and I were always playing with different ways to do my hair. Because I was like, even as a young woman, I was a glamour girl. I would make her give me blocks a lot. We would use her, she had hot curlers that we used. That always led to like this just sort of beautiful, like very classic curl. But then we tried those like styrofoam, like curlers. >> Yeah, yeah, of course. >> So you sleep in that. them. So they were really, really small. So I go to bed. This is probably fifth grade. Oh, if you get the really smooth. I go to bed with wet hair with those in. We learned a big lesson the next day. And you know what? We learned it the minute she took the first one out. And instead of the hair falling, it went boy going, going, going, going back to my head, full orphan Annie. It's so tight to my head. We both start laughing hysterically. I'm like, we have to go to school, but I had to shower. We both just go, we're gonna be late for school today, because I was sitting in my mom's dressing room. We're just looking back at each other's mirror. And we just go, Oh, my God. It was so there's no image. No, God, we didn't have iPhones back then. I would pay anything. One day, we can do that. We'll do it. To me, I'll have my mom put the curlers back in just for fun as an experiment. But when that first curl just point back to the head, I go, I go, so there's this forfeit. Anyway, I'll never forget that. So God, I would die. So you have to experiment. Hey, all to say, I go and Mary Beth hands me this hair dryer that dries my hair in two seconds. Fluffy, delicious, the waves are there. It's kind of one of the best hair days of my life. Soft, delicious. It didn't use any heat randomly. It was like a whisper of heat. Yeah. And it was just, Oh, my God. And then I did the cool shot. And I did that on my face into practically into my mouth again. Yeah. Oh, hey, and do you media clip that. So yeah, I just was like, what a fabulous tool. And it just felt like I was holding science totally an architecture and design and design integrity, which I think is Dyson's whole thing if I had to say they have a new hair dryer that looks like one of them up its noses. It's that shape. So Blake Arsonult, who did all the hair on over compensating in his genius, he, yeah, he had this thing out. He whipped this out kind of mid shoot. mid shoot. He did my hair and it took two seconds. And then there was a diffuser head on it. And so this is where I got into like the Dyson diffusers. By the way, I still don't have a Dyson. Like I just don't dry my hair enough to really need that. But I think it would consume my life if I did. I mean, I'd be given everyone blowouts. Oh, really? They came in my house. Yeah. And I know I could figure out how to use that. I am so good at giving people blowouts. I'm good at curling hair. I'm good at straightening. I can really do it all. The throat got I love Dyson products. I wish they were a little more accessible. I would say if we get the people who create Dyson products to work on clean energy, maybe a new type of car that doesn't use gas, maybe planes that are more environmentally friendly cancer research. Let's get these minds on some of society's toughest problems because they're doing really good work. Whoever let me do a flick of the wrist to get under a freaking side table, like I know you've got more in you. I agree. I know there's more that I've got to see. I agree. So you have our attention. You have our support. Let us know how we can help. Everyone who works at Dyson also works at Lego in my head. Totally. Do you get that? And remember when we're going to be on Lego masters the one time? Oh, we've had a lot of like close calls with like being in stuff. Like that. Yeah. Just as ourselves. Kind of a failure to launch for us. Yeah, but it's good to have the conversation. Do you know how hard it is to be in the same place? Like what a gift today is, especially if it's not like the city or LA, New York. That's where I'm at. How are you doing? I'm not good, but I've actually been not lying to people when they asked me how I'm doing. I just stand bad. Yeah. I am bad. We've been laughing a lot. We've been laughing a lot, which has really restored me. I'm losing my voice. I've been doing an hour of stand-up tomorrow. So I think we should wrap it up. Guess who's coming up? Dyson air wrap it up. This is the big Dyson air wrap. So may I want to be me. I want to be oh, playing Sumi while using a Dyson vacuum. Yeah, porn. Whoa. Whoa. And you know, she doesn't even mind the Dyson. She doesn't. She doesn't mind it. Well, she knew early. She it's, you know, it's a friend. It can't be a foe. Yeah. Sorry. This is part of the family. Learn how to live together. My Christmas card. It's me Pinkie and the Dyson. And that's cool, I think. I think I should be in it this year. Yeah. We're having sex. Hey happy Christmas. Happy Christmas. Okay. So there's kind of no need to write our die. It's a carpool without carpooling. It's a carpool without carpool. We just wanted to show off more products. More capitalism. And yeah, I guess it's just like the podcast is for fun. And if we're talking about things that make you feel alienated like a Dyson vacuum, for example, like I am sorry. I hope you've enjoyed the conversation. Yeah. I just like, I don't, I do want to make people feel like this is a safe space. We're not just talking about like consumption, but we have to shout out product innovation. Totally science. Yeah. And it's like galaxy marine. Yeah. Sometimes we got to honor things that you have to pay for, you know, what are you going to do? Yeah. So we're all happy to have you here. And I do, I want to also say, you know, I'm starting to think that maybe my 40th birthday could also include not only the design team and PR for Dyson, which I'm hoping they reach out after this. I mean, I know you're going to say, but I hope a lot of Barones are there too. And it's obviously in partnership with Crematory. And the millennial cemetery. Well, there will be a rock gym in Crematory. Of course. Yeah. Of course. There will be. Yeah. It's all white. There's something. So you can't see the things that I like. I've been best friends with someone for years. I know who like goes to a rock climbing gym. Yeah. That's range on my end of things. I would say like, that's range. You don't see that every day. I don't find it like sexy at all, but that's just something about me specific type of guy that exists right now. And maybe this will be the last thing we talk about. I know exactly what you're going to say. It's this guy. He's like a photographer. And he wears keen or keen, keen shoes, like a vintage shirt. How to go in your shorts. But then sometimes they're brain dead. Totally. Like all his workout outfits are really like she can put together. Like he really cares about how the workout outfits look. And then there's like an A24 Nalgene. Totally. And if you know a guy who shops at brain dead, don't have sex with them. Really? Okay. I'm sorry. Okay. I own a little brain dead. He's going to hurt you. You're gay. It's not the same. Exactly. And I think that's our best word. Thank you. Don't be on. Oh, my exit. Any babe? Eyes on the road. There you go. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.