The Good, the Bat and the Ugly

what's up los angeles welcome to love it or leave it live from hollywood i'm john love it we got a great show for you tonight but first let's get into it what a week the betting and mail bankruptcy platform cal she instituted its first ever lifetime ban against former gop congressman george santos which is crazy because cal she was invented by george santos said george santos santos allegedly made at least 17 000 by betting against his own attendance at the state of the union after posting that he was planning to be there and then not showing up but can you blame him for giving in to the overwhelming temptation with that kind of money he could buy a used kia soul hatchback according to a notice from the fda more than 10 000 cases of hodo brand tofu have been recalled due to possible ink contamination i don't see the problem sure the tofu tastes like ink but at least it tastes like something you got him a forested island the size of two football fields reportedly appeared then disappeared in british columbia's largest lake last month bc hydro says it can't pinpoint the island's origins and they don't know where it's ended up either they say the island can no longer be seen via satellite said trump how do we do that to epstein's island it's snickers news snickers launched a digital snickers bar that customers can feed to an ai model when it replies with incorrect information in case it's still hungry after all those rare books this will be perfect the next time chat gpt gives a teenager factually inaccurate information on how to kill himself said the candy company whether it's a person losing their cool or an ai chatbot consistently agreeing with you the truth hasn't changed when you're not acting like yourself you may need a snickers hey snickers fuck you and here's why you did it you won candy bars it's an annuity at our office we have big bags of mini candy bars and without fail every bag ends the same way you're digging through milky ways and three musketeers to find the last snickers so have some gratitude you show up at work at 11 you say let's keep making snickers in all the sizes and everybody in the meeting applauds you let some ad buyer take you to a two-hour lunch you drive home a little bit drunk you argue with your wife or husband about your kitchen reno and whether to pull your daughter from private school because she's the only kid in her class not on vivance and then you take 10 million dollars of candy profits you pay andy circus to put on a green suit covered in little dots and have him say i just don't feel like myself till i've had a snickers then you air it during the most popular shows we have football and murder trials and then you get back to complaining about how you never take the boat out anymore and maybe this weekend it would be nice to spend some quality time with your son who you're worried about ever since you saw that his phone background was luigi mangioni all before you approve the latest innovation snickers but this time they're round so shut up and make the candy bars and leave a.i out of it in bat news a virginia woman says she woke up on a recent morning to discover a bat crawling inside of her mouth some people have all the luck muttered health and human services secretary rfk jr dr krista edelman told the press she woke up from a dream that a cute little field mouse was shimmying its way past her lips only to reach up and pull out an actual bat responded the bat so when you thought i was a mouse you were fine with it imagine having a dream where a mouse is trying to force its way into your mouth and waking up to a reality that is worse said dr edelman i screamed and i was screaming repeatedly something to the extent of like there's a bat in my mouth the bat was trying to get in my mouth her husband replied i can't understand you say it again slowly without a bat in your mouth the bat was later tested for rabies and fortunately the test came back negative good news you won't die of rabies bad news you'll live a long healthy life haunted by the memory of the bat in your mouth in other rabies news three baby goats that were part of a traveling petting zoo in north carolina have tested positive for rabies uh-oh said health and human services secretary rfk jr a tiny hoof dangling from his lips prior to being tested the goats visited an assisted living facility a back-to-school event and a nine-year-old's birthday party they may have tested positive for rabies but they've also tested positive for having an amazing summer fortunately the theme of that child's birthday party was rabies so it all worked out in other grim medical news a judge ruled that harvard medical school must pay a 53 million dollar settlement over body parts stolen and sold on the black market by the school's former morgue manager great so now i'm gonna have to buy my black market human organs from yale blah scientists attending the american chemical society's fall meeting presented the latest in plastic recycling technology plastic cookies but we already have those they're called chewy chips ahoy let's face facts we love them they do taste weird it is the weirdest tape we all know the flavor of chewy chips ahoy it doesn't make any sense it's we should not eat them what is that flavor why have we all accepted oh that's the cookie we love that tastes like chemicals and is soft by the power of the devil using a 32-step process researchers say they use a modified yeast to convert plastic into a vanilla flavored edible protein which can then be 3d printed into cookie molds try one said the scientist trying to act normal leaning forward as you place the cookie in your mouth and then vaguely cringing as you take your first tentative bite good right and you feel fine added the scientist mock it all you want but this is a safe and sustainable way to free up more water and electricity for data centers the nation's first and only jellyfish museum opened in florida this summer though personally if i wanted to spend a few hours looking at a dazzling array of invertebrates i'd just turn on c-span yeah sure scrooge director scrooge director ty west said his take on ebenezer scrooge played by johnny dapp will explore the gray area in a christmas carol's depiction of the bitter miser west explained that ebenezer scrooge is not perfect but much of the blame for what went down rests squarely with amber heard zoom the popular video game video conferencing app has appointed a former oracle ceo to its board of directors that man's name and this is real jeffrey e ebstein but what were they supposed to do not appoint a qualified man just because his name is jeffrey epstein yes the e stands for it's jeffrey epstein no thank god no thank god they added that middle initial surely the jeffrey epstein we were thinking of didn't also have a middle name that also starts with e oh no and finally a truck carrying 50 000 cans of pbr was stolen from outside an anheuser-busch distribution center last month that's roughly 20 pallets of beer or as pete hegseth calls it breakfast all right we've got a great show tonight ben de la creme and gareth reynolds are here and we'll be right back hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up lover to leave it is brought to you by bombas i love bombas summer may be winding down but it's still we're still outdoors all the time bombas makes the comfiest summer staples so you can make the most out of all your summer plans they got a whole line of pro level sports specific socks for golf yoga the gym and for every kind of runner plus they're airy sweat wicking and your feet will feel good at the end of the day as they did at the start they make the best soft and supported compression socks they're perfect for all your summer travel and actually look amazing without the hospital vibes compression socks normally give off and for every item you purchase an essential clothing item is donated to someone 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of novo nordisk as to get started and learn more including important safety information we go v clinical study information And we're back! We'll have Gareth Reynolds and Ben DeLaCreme out in just a moment. But first, big announcement from us here at Crooked. The first episode of our brand new series is out tonight. Still Counting, hosted by our friends Nate Silver, Galen Druk, and Claire Malone. You might remember them as the data journalists behind FiveThirtyEight. And with the midterms just a few months away, we thought it was time to get them back on the air. Each Wednesday evening, Nate, Claire, and Galen will dig into the latest in politics and polling to break down what's happening, why, and what we can reasonably infer about what could happen next. They'll cover everything from elections to betting markets to AI with rigorous analysis and hot takes, but no spin or false sense of certainty. Subscribe to Still Counting wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube at StillCountingPodcast. We are so excited that they've come to our network. It's great. We're so excited the gang's back together. Everybody, do me a favor. Subscribe to Still Counting. And please welcome to the stage two of the biggest divas I know. It's Ben de la Creme and Gareth Reynolds. Hi. Come on in. Hello. It's nothing like feeling a stage buckle under you to make you feel dainty and lazy. No, stop it. There we go. Great depth for me as well. Hi. Hi. Lovely to see you both. You too. Great to see you. As well. Now. Let's get into it, John. Let's do it. De la. Yes. It's officially pumpkin spice latte season. Sure. Which means Jinx and De la holiday tour is around the corner. How many years have you been doing it? This will be our ninth year doing this holiday tour. Ninth year. I know. I know. I know. I look too young for that. But it's, yeah, we started 2018. It was just like a little scrappy thing. I think we did eight cities and it just grew real big. And now we're doing 36 shows across the U.S. and Canada in November and December. Wow. It's awesome. I'm excited. I am too. Gareth. Yes, John. Did you ever hear from Jay Leno about the impression you did on Pete Holmes podcast? Because I see this. Well, let's just show a clip because I do see this about twice a quarter. I'm sorry. And Leno did those in like 1989. Yeah. He was like, I mean, what have you done? The crunchy, the crispy, the little cheddar cheesy. I don't know. Yeah. It was like that. He's like. Cool ranch. What is that? Just a chill farmer? It goes on and on. That's sort of your thing. That's what's great about what you did there. You cut me off. Great choice. It's very funny because Pete went to Jay Leno was at a show and Pete just asked him to start saying, because I end up doing this whole thing about isosceles, the triangles. And then Jay goes, I thought I can't do it again. He's so hacky. I am learning from you now that this was the same appearance because I've also seen the isosceles clip. Listen, it was inconceivable to me that you were just doing. Was that how long? Yeah. No, that's not like a regular impression that I know. That's you. I thought you were just all the time. Just you do a Leno thing. You bring different things to the table. That was one long thing. Give me a thousand followers. I'll do it for the rest of my life. But we live in hell. But so Pete was at a show and he Jay Leno was there and he filmed him. It's really strange. He's filming Jay Leno and he's going, well, you say isosceles, isosceles, which is part of the riff there that you for some reason you all left out. But but so Jay, Jay's just sitting there. You're like, I thought I thought I thought all these. And Pete's going, say, I saw all these. I saw all these. And Jay's going, I thought all the what is this? I thought all these. I thought the leaf. And and so there has been contact. But he still has no clue who I am, which I think is best. Wait, you have a movie. Yeah. And it's called Give It Up. About a comedian who has to go back to stand up and is struggling to connect in a world where you have to break through on the Internet. Now, is there any way in which that was autobiographical or is it or is it some more of a coincidence? The movie, the Jay Leno impression is great. No, it's yeah, very autobiographical. It's basically about the nightmare of the algorithm. And again, I don't want to keep saying we live in hell, but, you know, this kind of constant quest for likes and for everything we were talking about before. Where you, you know, you just are constantly feeding this fucking algorithm to get likes and all these things. And it's sort of commentary on that. But we shot it all without really telling anyone we were shooting it. So I would be in comedy clubs like, you know, doing little like fake passing out and telling the audience, hey, I'm going to pass out. Don't worry. Thankfully, my crowd doesn't care for me. So nobody was worried. But yeah, that that is a thing I've done. What do you. I mean. Other than saying that we live in like we live in hell. Fair enough. But here we are. Yes. In hell. This is not hell. I'm enjoying this. No, this is great. We're having a great time tonight. A great time. But like what what is so bad about having to get people to pay attention by doing the kinds of things that will break through online? Like what is the problem? Well, I think it started great. It was a great plan to be, you know, it was like, hey, let's entertain each other. That was a great start. But now this sort of. Constant, endless fighting for likes and having to post all the time if you're in entertainment or, you know, entertainment's the grain of entertainment, as well as I'll be honest, the we have to keep saying crazier shit or we have to keep laughing harder. And at some point I keep waiting for it. We're going to hear the drain start to, you know, be dry and we're going to eventually find that we have. We have nothing left. I think that in a lot of ways, the Trump podcasting thing is kind of a version of that where it was sort of like, well, what are we going to do? We need to get more likes. We need to get more, you know, scandal and all that. And then so Trump had all these, you know, idiots podcasts. And that really resulted in sort of a weird pass for for that to some extent. Yeah, it's like there's what you feel. I mean, just, you know, we we put this show on YouTube. Right. And you try to figure out, like, what is the title that will get people to click? Right. And so you come up with more sensational titles to compete with the other sensational titles. But at the same time, you want to first of all, you will ultimately train people to not believe what you're saying. Right. There's so many channels where it's like, you know, it's over for Trump. You know, those are closing in. The walls have been closing in for quite some time. But then but then part of it also is trying to figure out, OK, this is the world we want to make something people will like and will reach more people. So how do you you have to figure out a way you can. Throw your hands up. You have to figure out a way to do something you believe in that you think is good, but also that is in some way organ that is some way optimized to do well. Otherwise, nobody's going to fucking see it. And I feel like that is that that that is to me the challenge. I agree. And but also think of the thumbnails. I mean, God, I think thumbnail thumbnail culture is just those I can do. I would imagine you'd be a thumbnail crusher. Yeah. Honestly, it's it's kind of my special. Yeah. See, I for me to be like, oh, it's just. It's like my soul leaves my body. Yeah. I can't believe that. Yeah. Like hard to do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You met you met Jinx before Drag Race. I did. Yes. Jinx and I, we met in Seattle a few years before either of us did Drag Race before. And you like were you instantly hitting it off? Was it was it was it. Well, you know, it was one of those things where when two folks meet each other who do something as similar as what we do, and especially if those are people who have sort of historically been, you know, as a drag queen, as a young person, when you're really like weird and feminine and whatever, you there are only two narratives that you're a total freak and waste of space or that you're extremely special. And so when you meet another one, it's complicated. So there was a meeting. Immediately, both recognition, admiration and rivalry. And we had to kind of make some choices around that very quickly. Like when like when Brad Pitt meets Antonio Banderas in Interview with the Vampire. Sure. It's like, you know, it's exactly that. I'm far too young. Sorry. Hey, maybe your hip remembers. Actually, you know, I just realized as a 44 year old and the zero year old hip, I am now an average 24 year old. 22. That's nice. Feel good about that. Now, Trini the Tuck was just on the show talking about how drag needs to be dirty and messy again. And that this that while we're fighting would say that while we're fighting, while we're fighting to for drag queens to read at the library, it's like this is supposed to be messy and dirty. And for adults, where do you come down on this? You know, I think that to decide that drag comes from any one angle is to really underestimate the power. I think that, yeah, 100 percent. I mean, drag is very often for adults. Drag is should not be, you know, in terms of all these conversations about kids. First of all, very few of us want to be around anybody's kids. Like if I have the option to not be around kids on the sidewalk, I'll choose that, let alone at my own show. I say don't even let them into libraries. Thank you. That's the problem. Nobody's talking. Yeah, seriously. Drag queen reading. should really just be the queens. So I think that, like, yes, absolutely, there is a very important element to keeping drag, like, dirty and letting it be all the things it can be. But also, like, queer kids deserve to see drag queens. Queer kids deserve to see that there are happy, successful adults that, you know, speak to their sensibilities. You know, I didn't have that growing up. And look how I turned out. There was a conservative who said a while back, isn't it interesting that none of these drag queens seem to want to read to adults? And it's like, bitch, adults can read. Not conservatives. Right, yeah, he's speaking for. To be fair. He's speaking about his peers. Yeah. Now, Gareth, you have a podcast with Jake Johnson called We're Here to Help. Correct. Are you ever anxious about giving advice because you'll seem like you have it too much together? Clearly, you don't listen to the show. The advice never portrays either one of us as hinged in any way. The problems are always pretty small town. We had one today where the woman called because her dentist in New York was giving her, like, $2,000 off because it was a family friend for a root canal that she really needs. And then when he left her a voicemail, he was pissing. And so he's peeing. He just is finishing his pee. But you can hear him pissing. And then he flushes it. And he's talking the whole time. He's like, but also, don't worry about this. And then he washes his hands. And she was like, what I'm worried about is when I get the gas that I'm going to David at the dentist and just be like, I heard you piss. And so, you know, we were trying to figure. So it's kind of that advice. Sure. It's sort of. It's sort of. There's such a dumb world of problems that we're just a couple of drunk uncles at the bar. So the stakes are low. Was she counting how long he washed his hands? No. I'll be honest, not long enough. But for $2,000 off, I mean, he could have pissed on his hands, in my opinion. He could have pissed in my mouth, if I'm being honest. I mean, I'm just going to be quite honest. And spit. Yeah. It's, uh. I feel like the. Yeah, I'm wondering what your advice would have been in that. Because to me, it's like, who cares if you tell him that? He's the one who pissed. You don't have to feel bad about it. You don't have to feel bad about telling him, so. Well, but it's important to them. So that's where our empathy comes in. Oh, wow. Beautiful. So they say what the problem is, and we'll pitch in that direction. So what we're going to do is we're going to record 90 minutes of, like, a show for her specifically to put in the AirPods, and we'll kind of be distracting her the whole time. And she'll just say, I've got to listen to something because of the pain. And then we'll just be talking the whole time. We called it a tooth-a-thon, like a telethon. Like a tooth-a-thon. It's a tooth-a-thon. Tooth-a-thon. It's a tooth-a-thon. It's a tooth-a-thon. It's a tooth-a-thon. I tooth-a-thally. Now, Gareth. Yes, Jim? You told our producers something interesting. Uh-oh. Which is you can immediately identify someone if they're British at a glance. I believe I have this talent. I believe I have this talent because my parents are English immigrants. Sorry. And I believe that I. There's just many times where I'll walk by someone and I'll be like, that's a Brit. But you don't know. That's what's going to. That's what's so exciting about the things that you're saying right now to me. Yeah, we're going to find out. The lack of confirmation is what makes you feel good at it? Hearing it now, that's potentially a flaw in all of this, yeah. But I don't know for sure. Dale, what are your thoughts on the British as a member of the LGBTQ community? You can be honest. I mean, the two are one and the same, aren't they? Should they be allowed to read to children as well? Should British people be allowed to read to children is an important question that's not being asked. That is an important. Yeah, no, um. I. I would say that I am very curious to hear your parameters for identifying British people because I feel like they are the same as gaydar. Very likely. So that the. Interesting. Now, so what do I have? I have Britdar? Is that what I have? Yeah, I think it's called Britdar. The mouth is a big player in it and the general face. Like, the general, like, hmm, they're like. Or kind of a Sherlockian face, you know what I mean? Ooh! Yeah, I don't know what happened. I think whatever the. Whatever those strong kind of features, whatever happened when the Saxons came in and the Anglo, whatever happened in there that kind of became, and I'm just going to say it, there was some inbreeding along the way of some smaller villages and pronounced features. They softened on the crossing. So I do think that's probably part of it. So you can. You know what I mean? So there's a kind of severeness to the faces that's interesting from all the kind of. I think from all the. From all the beans. You can weigh in. It doesn't offend me. Yeah, no, I suppose that's not. That's not the homosexual part. Although we do have severe faces, but sort of in a different direction. Yeah, no, I guess it's just the general Britishness of one being light and one's loafers, et cetera. The sort of pip-pip cheerio of it all feels pretty good. Pip-pip. Yeah, pip-pip cheerio is kind of the. And they do say that a lot. A lot of it, yeah. Oh, my God. They're flying around with their goddamn umbrellas all over the town. It's like half the language. Woo! A lot of that. Yeah. There's one. There's one. I'm allowed to say that. I am. And you know what that sound means? Oh, no. It's time for a game we're calling Brothers from Another Queen Mother. We're going to show you a person. You will tell us, gut reaction, is this person British or not? Some of them are. Some of them aren't. Okay. And we're going to start. with an easy one. Do you want me to. You can. 100% British. 100% British? Yeah, we both just. Yeah, you're weighing in together. I mean, you can disagree if you'd like. That was real British. That's Sir Geoffrey Cox, Conservative MP for. Geoffrey Cox, yeah. for Torridge and Tavistock. Ugh, wow. That is. I mean, it's quite obvious. Next up. MP for Torridge is just. Some of these fucking names. This doesn't feel real. I've been there. You've been to Torridge? No, but I've been to England and I've never heard anyone say they're from Torridge. You've never been to Tavistock? No, no. I didn't even get there. So you're suggesting that you know who's British, but you've never been to Torridge or Tavistock? Anyone who looks like he's swallowing six poached eggs whole is a Brit. All right, let's see who's up next. British or not? British or MAGA could be a fun game. Yeah, oh, yeah. That's definitely. You know what? None. I've done enough work. Done. British. I. I kind. It's. God, it could be Tennessee. It could be British. I'm gonna go. Well, you were wrong on both. That felt very pushy. Not British. Correct. Oh, really? It's South Carolina Republican Congresswoman Sherry Biggs. You were close with Tennessee. Yes. Yeah, it's the. The British blink. It's interesting. And her last. Having eyes like that and your last name Biggs is unfair. What a strange thing because obviously this is a still photo but when you say she's not blinking I know what you mean. She's got like that shark blink where it's just like a little bit of gray goes over it but the lids don't do anything. Yeah. Like that lizard thing. Mm-hmm. Next photo. Oof. The necklaces. It's going more MAGA. Yeah. Yeah, wow. The necklace makes me feel like I just made a teeth feels very British but what do you think? I'm just gonna keep I'm gonna keep playing the odds if I keep saying British I think we're gonna get there eventually. I think the little medallion screams Brit. I will say I will agree and say Brit. Michigan Democrat Debbie Dingle. Debbie Dingle? That's right. Debbie Dingle. Next up. Democrat Debbie Dingle? I mean that could not sound more like a porn you'd see in the 80s. You were watching porn in the 80s called you think there's porn from the 80s called Democrat Debbie Dingle? That's very progressive for an 80s porn. Democrat Democrat Debbie Dingle. Women in politics. Women in politics. Yeah. Next up. Come on. Come on. Come on. 100% British. I mean look yeah, he's got a sunburn from his hair. That's British. That is 100. Yeah, that's just That's labor That's me eventually. Yeah. That's where I'm headed. No doubt. Yeah, no, yeah, for sure. Yeah, let's keep it Let's keep it for sure. Let's say I'm just saying I think actually he eventually is doing a lot of work. Yeah, no, for Can we get more wine? All right. That is labor MP for North Durham Luke Aikhurst. Next up. First of all, this guy couldn't get his head in the James Bond circle. Not a good start for old bubble boy. It's close. It's close. It's close. Again, I feel like we could be teetering on Southern here. Yeah, you know, I'm going that route. I am too. We're saying not. I'm saying not British. Correct. It's Illinois Democratic Congressman Mike Quigley. Look at him. That was okay. It's okay. One more. Yeah. And you both have won the game. You can tell the Brits. Wow. Thank you to Ben DelaCreme and Gareth Reynolds. Go to jinxandayla.com for tour dates. I'm excited. I'm going to go to that show. Yes. I'm coming. And your book, Jinx and Dayla, How the Queens Made Christmas is out on October 20th and you can see Gareth on tour at garethreynolds.com for tickets and go to giveitupfilm.com for info on Give It Up. back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by SimpliSafe. Today's savvy burglars aren't deterred by traditional home security systems. They know that even if they trigger your alarm, they still have time to grab what they want and go. 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And when you order, please write in love it or leave it in the how did you hear about us survey to let them know that we sent you. Don't forget, there's no safe like SimpliSafe. Love it or leave it is brought to you by SelectQuote Life Insurance. We all know we need it, but then we put it off because we think it's complicated or expensive or that we'll live forever. Stop telling yourself you'll handle it later and take care of it today with SelectQuote. In 15 minutes, you could have coverage that fits your life and budget. Here's what makes SelectQuote different. Their licensed insurance agents work for you, not for one insurance company. They compare options, across multiple carriers to find you the right coverage at the lowest price. They've been doing this for nearly 40 years and have helped over 2 million people find coverage. Even if you have health issues, they can help. High blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, their agents know which carriers will give you the best rate for your specific situation. If you're healthy, they can get you same day coverage with no medical exam. Other brokers push policies that pay them the most. SelectQuote's agents actually shop for you. SelectQuote, they shop, you save. Don't put it off any longer. See for yourself how easy getting life insurance can be with SelectQuote. Get the right life insurance for you for less at SelectQuote.com. Love it. Go to SelectQuote.com slash love it today to get started. And we're back. Gareth, you give a lot of advice on your podcast, but not necessarily good advice. Dale, do you think you give good advice? No, no, no, no, no. Perfect. Well, we're inspired by we're here to help. And so we've collected questions from our audience to ask you both in a segment we're calling we're career to help parentheses. Gareth is not gay. FYI. You don't know that. Are you gay? No, I'm British. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. A lot to think about. That's the British thing. Can't wait to see what this no homo game is all about. These are questions from our friends of the pod discord users. And as a reminder, go to cricket.com friends to join the community. All right, let's see what we have. First up, somebody. And a friend of the pod named John has has a question. Hey, everybody. My name is John calling for love it or leave it. And my issue is I'm a very cheap guy. And I have a really hard time getting rid of things I've spent money on. But now I have a bunch of clothes that I really need to get out of my life because they're making my life worse. How do you advise someone who needs help getting rid of stuff they don't use anymore? Thank you. And have a great show. How do you think his clothes are making his life worse? Yeah, that is what are they doing to him? What can we extrapolate from that taking up space? Oh, that really seems like he's over overreacting. He's trying to he's trying to declutter. He's trying to he's trying to only keep things that spark joy. Are you are you a pack rat? Gareth? I guess a little bit. You know, I still have like clothes from my sketch comedy days where I'm like someday someone's gonna ask me to reprise my role as a Scotsman. And it's sad. So I'm probably not the best person to advise. Here's what I would say. I would say well, do you have advice? I mean, you're you have Oh, no, I still I still have clothes in case I return to a size eight at 45. Yeah. Keep the hip out. I, what I would say is, why not? Like, lay them out, have a bunch of people come over and, and let them weigh in and vote. And let's say you get rid of 30 items, and then you almost senior dog them, where you wear them out one last time over the course of a month. And then you go donate them all. So you have one last run because maybe something does spark joy when you're out at the bar. So right. So I was, I was talking about this idea for a party or or like a an event and it would be called everybody wins the lottery. Okay, and here's what you do. Everybody fills out a lottery ballot. What are they called? Ticket. And with all your numbers, and you have to do this part of it on your way to the party, the night of the drawing, you have to go to the 711 or wherever you're going to wherever you could buy a lot of ticket, you show the cashier the ticket you would have bought, you say, but I'm not buying it. And then you go to the party. And everybody watches the results. And you just pray your numbers don't come in. Because if you get if you hit all your numbers, oh, my God, I would have won the lottery. And so as you're watching the numbers, like, Oh, my God, I got one. Oh, my God, I got one second. And then you missed the third. Fuck, yeah, I didn't win the lottery tonight. This is amazing. And you give yourself the feeling of winning the lottery by losing the lottery. And what's great about this plan is you always lose the lottery. So in this game, you always win. The reason I bring this up is because what if you do this, you take all your clothes out of your house, everything on the lawn, get it all out on the lawn. And then one by one, you have to physically put a shirt on and say, I'm keeping it and walk it back into the house. So it's not about what do I get rid of, you'd reverse it, you have to physically decide what to say. I like that. What do you think about my lotto idea? I a lot of idea I'm not sure about. What I like about your sort of what if you did a rummage sale, and any item that someone else is going to buy, you decide you're keeping that. Oh, I like Yeah, yeah, really good choices. $15 is not for sale. It's cool. You can do it once though. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, you know, I do it once. I may just wind up keeping everything. Yeah. Let's see. Let's see what our next. Who's next? We next. Let's see what's next. Hello, love it or leave it. So I've recently come out as trans on binary. And I was wondering, how do you kind of work with I guess, like gender expression and being more confident in your own body as well as expressing yourself? And yeah, well, it's a beautiful question. I don't feel comfortable in my own. You seem like the right person to answer that. I'll handle this. As a Brit. Yeah, as a Brit. So yeah, I don't know how to I don't have the ability to answer that. I don't feel comfortable in this current form before we've even gone to gender is what I was gonna say. How do you how do you how do you think about this? How do you identify? I've never thought about it. Well, outside of these clothes, I am a cisgendered man. However, it's more complicated than that. You know, I think that what I found is that all of the years of me being like a freaky young kid feeling like the odd person out whatever, feeling like everyone was looking down at me. I found out so many years later that other people were looking at me being like, how did they have the confidence to be fully themselves? So I really think that like at some point, if you are just in. Embracing your own identity in that way, then you that that is that is the whole thing. That's all it's just, it's embracing the identity, walking through the world in that way. And eventually, seeing that just your sort of act of doing that is is defiance and is incredibly strong. And I think that's where you kind of find the confidence in it. I don't know what you're gonna do, because your identity is not as subversive, really. That might be harder. Yeah. And then I look at someone like Gareth, and I think, look at how he struggles to be a man. Yeah. Look at the look at the the effort and energy it takes just to try to perform whatever meager version of manhood. This is right, like whatever. And like, yeah, let's technically say, let's just stipulate Gareth, technically a man in the legally, legally a man. And like, we would say that is this is like, man, you're a man. I'm not saying you're not. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. But my god, the the the effort and challenge that you clearly face just getting out of bed, putting on the pants, I get out of bed, right, show his pants. Look, yeah, right. And just like kind of walking through life trying to kind of perform whatever it is, this is just Doritos joke after Doritos joke. That's all it is. You know, so I think it's hard. I found out about is I can identify British people. I mean, it's been Yeah, you're getting robbed in an alley and you see this, you don't feel security. You're like the robber has backup, or you're like the trash is moving. Anyway, I thought your advice was very sweet. Thank you. Thanks. That was beautiful. And I'm, I'm sorry, I turned this all on Gareth. We all are. And I'm really sorry. Hey, I'm sorry. Okay. Hey, I'm sorry. Okay. Let's I think we have one more message from the discord. Hey, fuckers. This is Donnie, calling for love and or leave it with Gareth Reynolds. Hey, Gary. Hey, so I have ADHD and autism. I've just got diagnosed with ADHD. Both my dogs have anxiety. One of them diagnosed literally with what was called the autism for dogs like the dog version of autism uh so i guess my question is what do i do what do i do well the adhd really kicked in at the end there didn't it yeah and honestly the autism it's a real wizard yeah it's coming by the way short clip coming through autism and adhd i agree with your doctors i agree with your doctors i think dogs are also like their owners yes you know often often kind of reflect the owners what was donnie's question yeah what are we he wants to know what he should do with his dog just what he should do don't call the show unless you write the question down what am i missing something bill his question was what should i do what should i do what should i do oh it's just about whether or not the what should he do about the dog potentially having it does the dog has autism what so what should we do about a dog with autism i don't think i think put it down just wants to give your dog favorite food show it show show him or her or they the train uh and then say goodbye wow that is very good obviously it's very good advice uh yeah i uh i i would think there's a little projection going on so i would maybe uh seek a second opinion some people just look at their dogs and they just think it has whatever they have like my dog has erectile dysfunction because it drinks too much whiskey okay you know yeah yeah hey hey gareth yeah you're okay right you're doing okay really good very good okay put the little clip on run it back people love the little cup get the little clip i was trying to sit on this low-ass couch following this that's good yes all right what you got next i think i'm gonna get in trouble for what i said about the dog even though i'm obviously kidding thing animal people are but every once in a while i'll see a video of someone having one of those parties where they have one last celebration yeah of their dog and then i do cry and hug my dog for a while and then i propose to my now husband if this happened maybe we'll do a party like this for for pundit and then ari my husband will say um i don't like when you cry like this you faggot so is the question what do i do so what hey what do i do i'll tell you what we do did you just call your own show we'll be right back hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up love it or leave it is brought to you by willy's remedy want to de-stress have a long day but don't love the idea of a hangover tomorrow now you can have fun and relax without the regrets thanks to willy's thc infused social tonic i love willy's it is my favorite it is awesome willy's is an alcohol alternative that actually works delivering an uplifting euphoric buzz you can really feel with no negative side effects willy's is a premium thc infused social tonic and it's a great way to get rid of your by the legendary willy nelson who is as we all know an expert in the cannabis space very few people could credibly call themselves a 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believe and here's what it was matthew morrison from glee was stuck on the subway during the september 11th 2001 terrorist attacks in new york city morrison and the rest of the subway carriage spent hours underground as the world above them collapsed after he got off the subway he walked into his girlfriend's apartment and saw her in bed with another man morrison told her you might want to wikipedia how do we know this well it turns out uh matthew morrison morrison uh hosted a show which was a cabaret show about 9-11 the article goes on to describe morrison's introduction to the show welcome to rhythm and revelations a car wash for your soul in this show i'm not just here to perform i'm here to spark something within you i want to leave you with a sense of inquiry curiosity and wonder about your own life many concerts entertained by invite you to take a he did a jazzical whimsy spin while explaining 9-11 and i just want to say i love it wow matt from glee did a cabaret show about 9-11 i don't see how that's a hot take i don't know how else you could feel about that i'm just i'm just saying like i don't i don't know how smart the ai is going to get but it's never going to come up with that nope is it hey hey dayla what would you what's something where that you don't care that you that you know what what's yours well you know the what's yours what do i do um what do i do well well the heels of the heels and the hip have really been on the mind lately because i did choose one over the other and uh you know as gender affirming care and uh and i really i don't care how scuffed and old and ratty these please get i don't care how ridiculous it looks to have a single toe pantyhose toe just shoved into an open toe shoe i will stand by this classic drag look forever if it was good enough for lady bunny and jackie beat and miss piggy then i think i think that this is a classically beautiful look and i don't care who says else i agree i agree i agree you know what i found out the other day uh that um 9-11 musical thing that horse legs right like yes the knee is the toe or something crazy yes that really what a horse hoof is is the end of one finger and that the reason they're so delicate is because they're just running on one finger and that everything else of the arm is up high and so really what horse legs are are just four fucking fingers and at the end of the to the hoof is just the nail on one finger and all the other parts that are part of it they're up there they just withdrew and kind of evolved to be longer and so a horse is running just on four fucking fingers what yeah and by the way i think this is true but it was from a video i saw on instagram oh no i went down a real long hole with this one it is true these are facts because you know how they look like their knees are all bent backwards yeah not true that's the wrist or something they're just on their fingers yeah they're just running around we need to get the word out more on this but that's why that's why that's why they're so delicate because it's like imagine how fucked up your fingers would be if you're just running on your fucking fingers all the time garrett i wouldn't well yeah i wouldn't lay down to sleep that's for sure i don't don't do the logic comb thing through what i just said it's not gonna end great i want you to know something i skipped all the way over that to realize that you and i have the exact same understanding of why horses sleep standing up which is mr ed yep without question i still believe they could talk i think they could talk that's how we know that finger thing probably yeah he told that horse like i'm i hate this these are fingers i'm sorry john i have i can't believe you do you hey he has the voice for mr ed in there you sure do it's not a great skill it's not been an applicable skill to my career until now yeah pick it out british people jay leno saying dorito or whatever it'd be no i didn't know this could be the new one i just love the idea of you just on a stage somewhere in the midwest being like did somebody say mr ed i believe they did shut up frank you know it's also well real quick john before we get into mine i want to point out that john said that that doritos clip pops up on his algorithm all the time and yet i don't believe he's a follower of mine i really what are you not i'll do it after see that's what the movie's about really him checking what was that john having a phantom phone is computer bring up algorithm gareth take it away mine's not great considering the setup into this but i'll be honest i travel a lot i stay in a lot of hotels uh the lettuce at the grocery store we can't eat anymore i took about two years off of bodies of water in the hotel that includes the pool the hot tub and even the bathtub and i'm back in i'm doing the water in the hotel again i am swimming in the pool i'm going in the hot tub and i will clean the bathtub but i'll also take baths in it every time i explain this to anyone it's met with great shame and i'm sick of hiding and i'm going to now say it i'm in the pool alone i'm in the hot tub hanging out for a while and yes i will be the guy who's taking a bath in a holiday i'll just tell you something i'm sick i mean i just i was i'm sorry and this is i when i think of a bathtub in a hotel that i would even consider using it's a separate standalone bathtub in a fancy hotel yes and even then i almost certainly those bailing me in those i'm home aloneing i'm but you're talking about the step-in shower bathtub that foot after foot after horrible foot uh these are these are people that have what i would call other people's toes and if you like a horse yeah but like other people's like toes we all see other people's toes can be fucking anything yes toes can look like anything in the world there's there's a lot of studies yes i would love to follow that there's a a lot of studies that say that you could get quite sick from doing what i'm doing really yes but rfk is in charge of health so i'm leaning in so i will i'm telling you i will take a disinfect i'll take a little clorox thing and i will go around the tub but most people don't seem to think that's enough and i will be bathing in those tubs and not just the fancy separate ones i'm talking foot tubs foot tubs tubs shower the foot just people foot just just people traveling they're just coming sometimes i'll just put a towel in the shower and fill it and i'll just slosh around like a fish at the end of the faith no more video i don't care if no one gets it well that's beautiful and that's what the segment's all about oh i feel fatter but lighter thank you and we'll be right back well we've done it one for the history books but there's a whole lot of footnotes on this show at least according to my producers that's right it's time for second thoughts oh gareth i have a list of things that the producers believe i should have done differently or better and i'm going to share the places where they believe i should have some regrets if you have any regrets about this evening this is a place to share them first up uh uh uh these jokes about suicide boy they don't work do they uh i told garrett that going on and on is sort of your thing i remember yeah but if it wasn't so i i think you're fine i really i think if it wasn't accurate you could have regrets uh i didn't give let me get into it oh no go ahead i didn't give dayla an opportunity to show off her thumbnail poses oh oh thank you so much sorry there's actually really only two drag queen poses they go like this or it's really good uh i compared dayla meeting another drag queen to the original 1994 interview with the vampire but there's something about that right you know drag queens move through the night we're doubling down yes this isn't a regret 100 i don't regret it drag drag queens two drag queens right in a city without drag queens moving through the night see each other from across the room they recognize wow we have the same thing we have the same we're the we're the we're the we're special and we're not part of this and we're we move among we're in the night i see where you're going with this but i think the prime difference is we don't want more drag queens we don't want to make any more right right right right two is fine two is plenty we're all set with two three's a crowd uh i really went after gareth for never having been to torrage or travis stock no you're absolutely right though i should have gone to torrage and now seeing the class of gentlemen that's from torrage i'm a torrage 10 so i should head over there as soon as possible yeah that's right absolutely you will fucking clean up the hottest men who've ever been in they'll be like hey guys we think uh kind of younger brad pitt from america sorry to debbie dingle who caught some strays and we're sorry to the people of the united kingdom just want to sort of get that out there a lot of our listener we have a lot of great listeners over there and we think they're and i and i think we're going to probably trim down some of the things i said about bone structure and inbreeding but i'll leave this in to let them know that it it was said and i'm sorry even if they're not going to hear it we definitely should keep it to ourselves and we'll see you next time cut that part out of the ones that are inbreeding don't have great hearing you're fine right right that's such a good point that's such a good point i don't know why that hit that guy so hard yeah he also kind of has a hapsburg chin so we should no i didn't look i don't mean that that's what leno has gareth there was some thought that maybe you should regret talking about your dog's erectile dysfunction i appreciated your candor thank you so much and to whoever back there has an issue with my dog having whiskey dick you sound like the women that it takes home you don't think the dog's used to hearing that sort of bullshit well i'm sorry jim beams two dollars where that dog goes to drink sometimes what was the question what do i do and that's our show thank you so much to ben de la creme and gareth reynolds there are 55 days until the midterms we'll be back friday with former congressman katie porter and the great larry wilmore have a great night love it or leave it is a crooked media production our show is produced by kendra james bill mcgrath kelsey gante and me john love it our production team includes hallie keeper sarah lazarus raman borsellino peter miller david tolls claudia shang jay banks gavin purcell and matt de groot and our staff is proudly unionized with the writers guild of america east