The Good, the Bat and the Ugly

[MUSIC] What's up, Los Angeles? >> [APPLAUSE] >> Welcome to Love and Related Live from Hollywood. I'm John Love and we got a great show for you tonight, but first let's get into it, what a week. >> [APPLAUSE] >> The vetting and male bankruptcy platform, Calche, instituted its first ever lifetime ban against former GOP Congressman George Santos, which is crazy because Calche was invented by George Santos, said George Santos. Santos allegedly made at least $17,000 by betting against his own attendance at the State of the Union after posting that he was planning to be there and then not showing up. But can you blame him for giving in to the overwhelming temptation? With that kind of money, he could buy a used Kia Soul hatchback. [LAUGHTER] >> According to a notice from the FDA, more than 10,000 cases of Hoto brand tofu have been recalled due to possible ink contamination. I don't see the problem. Sure, the tofu tastes like ink, but at least it tastes like something. [LAUGHTER] Got him. [LAUGHTER] A forested island, the size of two football fields, reportedly appeared, then disappeared in British Columbia's largest lake last month. B.C. Hydro says it can't pinpoint the island's origins, and they don't know where it's ended up either. They say the island can no longer be seen via satellite. >> Said Trump, how do we do that to Epstein's Island? [LAUGHTER] In Snickers News, Snickers launched a digital Snickers bar that customers can feed to an AI model when it replies with incorrect information in case it's still hungry after all those rare books. [LAUGHTER] This will be perfect. The next time ChatGbT gives a teenager factually inaccurate information on how to kill himself. [LAUGHTER] Said the candy company, whether it's a person losing their cool or an AI chatbot consistently agreeing with you, the truth hasn't changed. When you're not acting like yourself, you may need a Snickers. Hey, Snickers, fuck you. [LAUGHTER] And here's why. You did it. You won candy bars. It's an annuity. At our office, we have big bags of many candy bars, and without fail, every bag ends the same way. Digging through milky ways and three musketeers to find the last Snickers. So have some gratitude. You show up at work at 11, you say, "Let's keep making Snickers in all the sizes." And everybody in the meeting applaud. You let some ad buyer take you to a two-hour lunch, you drive home a little bit drunk, you argue with your wife, or husband. [LAUGHTER] About your kitchen reno and whether to pull your daughter from private school because she's the only kid in her class not on vi-vance. And then you take 10 million dollars of candy profits, you pay Andy Circus to put on a green suit covered in little dots. And have him say, "I just don't feel like myself till I've had a Snickers." Then you're territory in the most popular shows we have, football and murder trials. And then you get back to complaining about how you never take the boat out anymore. And maybe this weekend it will be nice to spend some quality time with your son, who you're worried about. Ever since you saw that his phone background was Luigi Mangioni, all before you had proved the latest innovation, Snickers. But this time they're fucking round. So shut up and make the candy bars and leave AI out of it. [APPLAUSE] In bat news, a Virginia woman says she woke up on a recent morning to discover a bat crawling inside of her mouth. Some people have all the luck, but her health and human services secretary, R.F.K. Jr. Dr. Christa Edelman told the press she woke up from a dream that a cute little field mouse was shimming its way past her lips. Only to reach up and pull out an actual bat responded the bat. So when you thought I was a mouse, you were fine with it. [LAUGHTER] Imagine having a dream where a mouse is trying to force its way into your mouth and waking up to a reality that is worse. [LAUGHTER] Said Dr. Edelman. I screamed and I was screaming repeatedly something to the extent of like, "There's a bat in my mouth. The bat is trying to get in my mouth." Her husband replied, "I can't understand you. Say it again slowly without a bat in your mouth." [LAUGHTER] The bat was later tested for rabies, and fortunately, the test came back negative. Good news. You won't die of rabies. Bad news. You'll live a long, healthy life haunted by the memory of the bat in your mouth. [LAUGHTER] In other rabies news, three baby goats that were part of a traveling petting zoo in North Carolina have tested positive for rabies. Uh-oh, said Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr., a tiny hoof dangling from his lips. [LAUGHTER] Prior to being tested, the goats visited an assisted living facility, a back-to-school event, and a nine-year-old's birthday party. They may have tested positive for rabies, but they've also tested positive for having an amazing summer. [LAUGHTER] Fortunately, the theme of that child's birthday party was rabies, so it all worked out. [LAUGHTER] In other grim medical news, a judge ruled that Harvard Medical School must pay a $53 million settlement, over body parts stolen and sold on the black market by the school's former morgue manager. Great. So now I'm going to have to buy my black market human organs from Yale, blah. [LAUGHTER] Scientists attending the American Chemical Society's small meeting presented the latest in plastic recycling technology, plastic cookies. But we already have those. They're called chewy chips of hoi. [LAUGHTER] Let's face facts. We love them. They do taste weird. It is the weirdest tape we all know the flavor of chewy chips of hoi. It doesn't make any sense. We should not eat them. What is that flavor? Why have we all accepted? Oh, that's the cookie we love that tastes like chemicals. [LAUGHTER] And is soft by the power of the devil. [LAUGHTER] Using a 32-step process, researchers say they use a modified yeast to convert plastic into a vanilla flavored edible protein, which can then be 3D printed into cookie molds. Try one, said the scientist, trying to act normal, leaning forward as you place the cookie in your mouth, and then vaguely cringing as you take your first tentative bite. Good, right? And you feel fine? Added the scientist. [LAUGHTER] Mark it all you want, but this is a safe and sustainable way to free up more water and electricity for data centers. The nation's first and only jellyfish museum opened in Florida this summer. Though personally, if I wanted to spend a few hours looking at a dazzling array of invertebrates, I'd just turn on C-SPAN. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, sure. Scrooge director, Scrooge director Ty West said his take on Ebenezer Scrooge, played by Johnny Dapp will explore the gray area in a Christmas carols depiction of the bitter miser. West explained that Ebenezer Scrooge is not perfect, but much of the blame for what went down rest squarely with Amber Heard. [LAUGHTER] Zoom, the popular video conferencing app, has appointed a former Oracle CEO to its board of directors. That man's name, and this is real, Jeffrey E. Ebstin. [LAUGHTER] But what were they supposed to do? Not a point to qualified man, just because his name is Jeffrey Ebstin? Yes. [LAUGHTER] The E stands for, yeah, it's Jeffrey Ebstin. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] No, thank God. No, thank God they added that middle initial. Surely the Jeffrey Ebstin we were thinking of didn't also have a middle name that also starts with E. Oh, no. [LAUGHTER] And finally, a truck carrying 50,000 cans of PBR was stolen from outside an Anheuser Bush Tributions Center last month. That's roughly 20 pallets of beer, or as Pete Hegg said, calls it, "Breakfast." All right, we've got a great shirt, Peter, I have Ben Delacran and Gary Reynolds are here, and we'll be right back. 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To get started and learn more including important safety information, Wigovie clinical study information. and restrictions visit hymns.com. (upbeat music) And we're back! (audience cheering) Well, I've Garrett Reynolds and Bendola Kreme out in just a moment, but first, big announcement from us here at Crooked, the first episode of our brand new series is out tonight, still counting, hosted by our friends, Nate Silver, Galen Drook, and Claire Malone. You might remember them as the data journalist behind 538, and with the midterms just a few months away, we thought it was time to get them back on the air. For each Wednesday evening, Nate, Claire, and Galen will dig into the latest in politics and pulling to break down what's happening, why, and what we can reasonably infer about what could happen next. They'll cover everything from elections to betting markets, to AI with rigorous analysis and hot takes, but no spin or false sense of certainty. Subscribe to, still counting wherever you get your podcasts, and on YouTube at Still Counting Podcasts. We are so excited that they've come to our network. It's great what they were so excited the gangs back together. Everybody, do me a favor, subscribe to Still Counting, and please welcome to the stage, shoe of the biggest divas I know. It's Bendola Kram, and Gower Reynolds. (audience cheering and clapping) - Oh my gosh, you guys are so awesome. - Come on in. - Hello. - There's nothing like feeling a stage buckle under you to make you feel dainty and lean. - No, stop. - Oh, wow, there we go. - Great depth for this. - There it is. - Hi. - Hi. - Lovely to see you both. - You too. - Great to see you as well. - Now, let's get into it, John. - Let's do it. - Daela. - Yes. - It's officially pumpkin spice latte season. (audience laughing) - Sure. - Which means, Jinks and Daela holiday tour is around the corner. (audience cheering and clapping) How many years have you been doing it? - This will be our ninth year doing this holiday tour. - Ninth year. - No, I know. I know I look too young for that, but it's, yeah, we started 2018. It was just like a little scrappy thing. I think we did eight cities. And it just grew real big. And now we're doing 36 shows across the US and Canada in November and December. - Wow, it's awesome. I'm excited. I am too. - Garret. - Yes, John. - Did you ever hear from Jay Leno about the impression you did on Pete Holmes podcast? Because I see this, well, let's just show a clip because I do see this about twice a quarter. - I'm sorry. - And Leno did those in like 1989. - Yeah, I mean, what have you done? - Crunchy Decrythby, the little cheddar cheesy. I don't know. Yeah, it was like that. He's like, cool range. What if that just a chill pharma? (audience laughing) - It goes on and on. (audience laughing) - That's sort of your thing. (audience laughing) - That's what's great about what you did there. You cut me off. Great choice. It's very funny because Pete went to, Jay Leno was at a show and Pete just asked him to start saying, 'cause I end up doing this whole thing about isosceles, the triangles, and then Jay goes, I can't do it again, that's just so hacky. - I am learning from you now that this was the same appearance because I've also seen the isosceles clip. - Listen, it was inconceivable to me that you were just doing, was that, how long ago? - Oh, yeah. - That's not like a regular impression that I, no, that's. - I thought you were just, all the time, just you do a Leno thing. You bring different things to the table. That was one long thing. - Give me a thousand followers. I'll do it for the rest of my life. - But we live in hell. But so Pete was at a show and he, Jay Leno was there and he filmed him, it's really strange. He's filming Jay Leno and he's going, "Will you say isosceles, I saws all these?" Which is part of the riff there that you, for some reason, you all left out. But so Jay's just sitting there. He's like, "I saws all these, I saws all these." And Pete's going, "Say I saws all these, I saws all these." And Jay's going, "I saws all these." What is this? "I saws all these, I saws all these." And so there has been contact, but he still has no clue who I am, which I think is best. (audience laughs) - Wait, you have a movie. - Yeah. - And it's called Give It Up about a comedian who has to go back to stand up and is struggling to connect in a world where you have to break through on the internet. Now, is there any way in which that was autobiographical? Or is there some more of a coincidence? - Well, the movie, the Jay Leno impression is great. No, yeah, very autobiographical. It's basically about the nightmare of the algorithm. And again, I don't want to keep saying we live in hell, but you know, this kind of constant quest for likes and for everything we were talking about before. Where you, you know, you just are constantly feeding this fucking algorithm to get likes and all these things. And it's sort of commentary on that, but we shot it all without really telling anyone we were shooting it, so I would be in comedy clubs like, you know, doing little fake passing out and telling the audience, I'm going to pass out, don't worry. Thankfully, my crowd doesn't care for me, so nobody was worried. But yeah, that is the thing I've done. - What do you, I mean, other than saying that we live in hell, fair and off, but here we are in hell. - This is not hell, I'm enjoying this. - No, this is great. We're having a great time tonight. - We're having a great time. - But like, what is so bad about having to get people to pay attention by doing the kinds of things that will break through online? Like, what is the problem? - Well, I think it started great. It was a great plan to be, you know, it was like, hey, let's entertain each other. That was a great start. But now this sort of constant endless fighting for likes and having to post all the time if you're in entertainment or, you know, entertainment's the growing of entertainment, as well as, I'll be honest, we have to keep saying crazy or shit, or we have to keep laughing harder. And at some point, I keep waiting for it, we're going to hear the drain start to, you know, be dry. And we're gonna eventually find that we have nothing left. I think that, in a lot of ways, the Trump podcasting thing is kind of a version of that where it was sort of like, well, what are we gonna do? We need to get more likes. We need to get more, you know, scandal and all that. And then so Trump had all these, you know, idiots podcasts and that really resulted in sort of a weird pass for that to some extent. - Yeah, it's like there's, well, you feel, I mean, just, you know, we put this show on YouTube, right? And you try to figure out like, what is the title that will get people to click on it, right? And so you come up with more sensational titles to compete with the other sensational titles. But at the same time, you wanna, first of all, you will ultimately train people to not believe what you're saying, right? There's so many channels where it's like, you know, it's over for Trump, you know, it's like, - The walls are closing in. - The walls have been closing in for quite some time. But then part of it also is trying to figure out, okay, this is the world we want to make something people will like and we'll reach more people. So how do you, you have to figure out a way, you can throw your hands up, you have to figure out a way to do something you believe in that you think is good. But also that is in some way, organ, that is some way optimized to do well, otherwise nobody's gonna fucking see it. And like, I feel like that is the, that, that is to be the challenge. - I agree. And but also think of the thumbnails. I mean, - God, think of the thumbnail. - Thumbnail culture is just- - Those I can do. - I've imagined you'd be a thumbnail crusher. - Yeah, honestly, it's kind of my specials. - Yeah, for me to be like, oh, it's just like, my soul leaves my body, whatever. - I can't believe this, it's hard to do. - Yeah, yeah. - Uh. - You met Jinx before Drag Race? - I did, yes. Jinx and I, we met in Seattle a few years before either of us did Drag Race. Before, and you like, were you instantly hitting it off? Was it, was it, was it, was it, well, you know, it was one of those things where, when two folks meet each other who do something as similar as what we do. And especially if those are people who have sort of historically been, you know, as a drag queen, as a young person, when you're really like weird and feminine and whatever, you, there are only two narratives that you're total freak and waste of space or that you're extremely special. And so when you meet another one, (audience laughing) it's complicated. So there was immediately both recognition, admiration, and rivalry, and we had to kind of make some choices around that very quickly. - Like when Brad Pitt meets Antonio Van Banderas in "Interview with the Vampire." - Sure. - And it's like, you know, it's exactly that. (audience laughing) - I'm far too young, sorry. (audience laughing) - Maybe, hey, maybe you're hip-remembered. - Ah, I don't do the hip thing. - Actually, you know, I just realized as a 44 year old, and to the zero year old hip, I am now on average 22. That's nice. Feel good about that. Now, "Trinny the Tuck" was just on the show talking about how drag needs to be dirty and messy again, and that while we're fighting-- - Do it, say that. - While we're fighting, while we're fighting for drag queens to read at the library, it's like, this is supposed to be messy and dirty and for adults. Where do you come down on this? - You know, I think that to decide that drag comes from any one angle is to really underestimate the power of drag. I think that, yeah, 100%. I mean, drag is very often for adults. Drag should not be, you know, in terms of all these conversations about kids, first of all, very few of us want to be around anybody's kids. (audience laughing) Like, if I have the option to not be around kids on the sidewalk, I'll choose that. Let alone at my own show. - I say don't even let them into libraries. - Thank you. That's the problem. - Nobody's talking. - Yeah, seriously, drag queen reading hour should really just be the queens, you know. So I think that like, yes, absolutely, there is a very important element to keeping drag like dirty and letting it be all the things it can be, but also like Quirchids deserve to see drag queens. Quirchids deserve to see that there are Happy successful, happy successful adults That you know speak to their sensibilities. You know, I didn't have that growing up and look how I turned out If there was a there was a conservative who set a while back isn't interesting that none of these drag queens seem to want to read to adults and it's like bitch Adults can read Not conservatives, right? Yeah, he's speaking to be fair. He's thinking about his peers. Yeah now Garrett you have a podcast with Jake Johnson called we're here to help correct are you ever anxious about giving advice because You'll seem like you have it too much together Clearly, you don't listen to Bill The advice never portrays either one of us as hinged in any way The problems are are always pretty small town. We had one today where The woman called because her dentist in New York was giving like $2,000 off because it was a family friend I was up for a root canal that she really needs and then when he left her a voicemail. He was pissing And so he's peeing he just is finishing his pee But he you can hear him pissing and then he flushes it and he's talking the whole time He's like but also don't worry about that and then he washes his hands She was like what I'm worried about is when I get the gas that I'm gonna David at the dentist and just be like I heard you piss and so you know the we were trying to fix so it's kind of that advice so it sort of it's sort of such a dumb world of problems that we're just a couple of drunk uncles at the bar. So the stakes are low Was he counting how long he washes hands? No, not a lot. It's not long enough, but for $2,000 off. I mean, he could have pissed on his hands He could have pissed in my mouth. I'm gonna be quite honest and spin. Yeah It's I feel like the yeah, I'm wondering where your advice would have been in that because to be like who cares if you tell him that He's the one who pissed you don't feel bad about telling him so well, but it's important to them So that's where I Wow, so they say what the problem is and we'll pitch in that direction So so what we're going to do is we're going to record 90 minutes of Like a show for her specifically to put in the air pods and we'll kind of be Distracting her the whole time and she'll just say I got to listen to something because of the pain and then we'll just be talking the whole time We call that a tooth of fun like a telephone like a tooth of time. That's a tooth of time. Just a classic tooth of time It's a tooth of time. It's got a tooth of time. I feel this totally now Gareth. Yes, you told our producer something interesting Uh-oh, which is you can immediately identify someone if they're British at a glance. I Believe I have this talent I believe I have this talent because my fit my parents are English immigrants Sorry, and I believe that I there's just many times where I'll walk by someone and I'll be like that's a Brit But you don't know That's what's gonna that's what's so exciting about the things that you're saying right now to me Yeah, we're gonna find out confirmation is what makes you feel good at it That I'm not hearing it now. That's potentially a flaw in all of this. Yeah, but I know that I don't know for sure Dude, what are your thoughts on the British as a member of the LGBTQ community? You can be honest I Mean the two are one in the same, aren't they? Should they be allowed to read to children? Yeah, should British people be allowed to read to children is an important question. That's not being asked That isn't it. Yeah. No, um, I Would say that I am very curious to hear your parameters for identifying British people because I feel like they're the same as gay dar Very likely so that the interesting it now so what do I have I have Brit dar? Is that what I have? Yeah, I think it's called Brit dar the mouth is a big player in it and the general face like the general like They're like I work kind of a sure locky and face, you know what I mean. Oh, yeah I don't know what happened. I don't I think whatever the whatever those strong kind of Features whatever happened when the Saxons came in yes and the Anglo whatever happened in there Yes, that kind of became and I'm just gonna say it There's some inbreeding along the way. It's a smaller village is pronounced features They soften on the crossing so I do think that's probably part of it So you know, they mean so there's a kind of severeness to the faces that's interesting from all the kind of I think from all the from all the the the way and it doesn't offend me. Yeah. No, I suppose that's not the homosexual part Although we do have severe faces, but sort of in a different direction Yeah, no, I guess it's just the the general Britishness of one being late and one's loafers etc The sort of pip pip cheerio of it all feels pretty gated. Yeah pip chip cheerio is kind of the They do say that a lot of it. Yeah, they're flying around with their goddamn umbrellas all over the town It's like half the language a lot of that. Yeah, there's one There's one. I'm allowed to say that Yeah, and you know what that sound means It's cyber game. We're calling brothers from another queen mother We're gonna show you a person You will tell us gut reaction is this person British or not some of them are some of them aren't Okay, and we're gonna start with an easy one Do you want me to do you do you gain 100% British hundred percent Yeah, you're weighing in together. I mean you can disagree if you like That's her Jeffrey Cox conservative MP for Torridge and Tavis knock off. Wow. That is I mean It's quite obvious Next up for Torridge is just some of these fucking names. This doesn't feel real. I've been there. You've been to Torridge No, but I've been to England and I've never heard anyone say they're from Torridge. You've never been to Tabestock. No, no I got didn't even get that you're suggesting that you know who's British, but you've never been to Torridge or Travestock anyone who looks like he's swallowing six poached eggs whole Is a brick. All right. Let's see who's up next British or not British or mega could be a fun. Yeah. Oh, yeah That's definitely you know what not enough work done British. I I kind it's God, it could be Tennessee. It could be British. I'm gonna go Well, you were wrong on both That felt very pushy Not British correct. Oh, what really? It's South Carolina Republican Congresswoman Sherry bigs You were close with Tennessee. Yes, you're close with Tennessee. Yeah, it's the British blink It's in the last having eyes like that in your last name bigs is unfair What a strange name because obviously this is still photo, but when you say she's not blinking I know what you mean, you know what I mean? It's got like that shark blink where it's just like a little bit of gray goes over it, but the lids don't do anything Yeah, like that lizard thing. Mm-hmm. Next photo The necklaces it's going more mag. Uh, yeah, wow the necklace made a teeth feels very British, but What do you think? I'm just gonna keep I'm gonna keep playing the odds if I keep saying British I think we're gonna get there eventually. I think the little medallion screams Brit. I will say I will agree and say Brit Michigan Democrat Debbie Dingell Debbie Dingell. That's right Debbie Dingell. Next up Democrat Debbie Dingell. Democrat Debbie Dingell. I mean that could not sound more like a porn you'd see in the 80s You were watching porn in the 80s called you think there's porn from the 80s called Democrat Debbie Dingell That's very progressive for an 80s Democrat Women in politics. Yeah, next up Come on 100% British. I mean look look. Yeah, he got a sunburn from his hair. That's Yeah, that's where I'm headed no doubt. Yeah, no. Yeah, for sure that yeah, let's keep it for sure Let's say I'm just saying I think actually the eventually is doing a lot of work Yeah, yeah, we get more wine All right, that is labor MP for North Durham Luke A. Kirst next up first of all this guy couldn't get his head in the James Bond circle Not a good start for old bubble boy It's close. It's close. It's close. I feel like we could be teetering on southern here You know, I'm going that route. I am - we're saying not. I'm saying not British correct. It's Illinois Democratic congressman Mike Quigley look at him And you both have won the game. You can tell the brits. Wow Thank you to Bendillo Krim and Garrett Reynolds go to jinxandayla.com for tour dates. I'm excited. I'm gonna go to that show Yes, I'm coming and your book jinxandayla how the Queen's made Christmas is out on October 20th And you can see Garrett on tour at garrons Reynolds.com for tickets and go to give it up film.com for info on give it up We're at back. [Applause] Hey, don't go anywhere, there's more of Love It Or Leave It coming up. Love It Or Leave It is brought to you by Simply Safe. Today's savvy burglarers aren't deterred by traditional home security systems. 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At SimplySafe.com/LoveIt for 50% off and when you order, please write and love it or leave it. And how did you hear about us survey? To let them know that we sent you. Don't forget, there's no Safe like Simply Safe. Love to leave it is brought to you by Select Quote. Life insurance. We all know we need it. But then we put it off because we think it's complicated or expensive or that we'll live forever. Stop telling yourself you'll handle it later and take care of it today with Select Quote. In 15 minutes, you could have coverage that fits your life and budget. Here's what makes Select Quote different. Their license insurance agents work for you, not for one insurance company. They compare options across multiple carriers to find you the right coverage at the lowest price. They've been doing this for nearly 40 years and have helped over 2 million people find coverage. 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In a segment we're calling, we're crew to help parentheses, "Garret is not gay," FYI. [LAUGHTER] You don't know that. Yeah. Are you gay? No. I'm British. [LAUGHTER] Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. [LAUGHTER] A lot to think about. Yeah. That's the British thing. Hmm. Can't wait to see what this no homo game is all about. [LAUGHTER] These are questions from our friends of the pod, Discord users. And as a reminder, go to Cricket.com, friends, to join the community. All right. Let's see what we have. First up, a friend of the pod named John has a question. Hey, everybody. My name is John. Calling for love it or leave it. And my issue is I'm a very cheap guy, and I have a really hard time getting rid of things I've spent money on. But now I have a bunch of clothes that I really need to get out of my life, because they're making my life worse. How do you advise someone who needs help getting rid of stuff they don't use anymore? Thank you, and have a great show. How do you think his clothes are making his life worse? Yeah. That is-- What are they doing to him? What can we extrapolate from that? Taking up space? Oh, that really seems like he's overreacting. He's trying to declutter. He's trying to only keep things that spark joy. Are you a pack rat, Gareth? I guess a little bit. I still have clothes from my sketch comedy days, and I'm like, "Sem day someone's going to ask me to reprise my role as a Scotsman." And it's sad. So I'm probably not the best person to advise. Here's what I would say. I would say, "Well, you have advice to-- I mean, you have-- Oh, no. I still upload in case I return to a size 8 F-45, yeah. Keep the hip out. What I would say is why not lay them out, have a bunch of people come over, and let them weigh in and vote. And let's say you get rid of 30 items, and then you almost scene your dog them, where you wear them out one last time over the course of a month, and then you go donate them all. So you have one last run, because maybe something does spark joy when you're out at the bar. Right. So I was talking about this idea for a party, or like an event, and it would be called "Everybody wins the lottery." Okay. And here's what you do. "Everybody fills out a lottery ballot." What are they called? "Ticket." And with all your numbers, and you have to do this part of it, on your way to the party, the night of the drawing, you have to go to the 7/11 or wherever you could buy a lot of ticket. You show the cashier, the ticket you would have bought, you say, "But I'm not buying it." And then you go to the party, and everybody watches the results, and you just pray your numbers don't come in. Because if you hit all your numbers, "Oh my God, I would have won the lottery." And so as you're watching the numbers, "Oh my God, I got one, oh my God, I got a second." And then you miss the third, you're like, "Fuck yeah, I didn't win the lottery tonight. This is amazing." And you give yourself the feeling of winning the lottery by losing the lottery, and what's great about this plan is you always lose the lottery. So in this game, you always win. The reason I bring this up is because what if you do this? You take all of your clothes out of your house. Everything on the lawn, you get it all out on the lawn, and then one by one you have to physically put a shirt on and say, "I'm keeping it and walk it back into the house." So it's not about what do I get rid of. You reverse it. You have to physically decide what to save. I like that. What do you think about my lottery idea? A lot of idea, I'm not sure about it, but what I like about your sort of, what if you did a rummage sale and any item that someone else is going to buy, you decide you're keeping that one? Oh, I like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're really good. Traces out of spite. It's just $15. You're like, "It's not for sale!" Hey, it's cool. You can only do it once though. Yeah, sure. You can only do it once. Yeah. You may just mind of keeping everything. Let's see what our next, who's next, wait next, let's see what's next. Hello, love it or leave it. So I've recently come out as a transform binary and I was wondering, how do you kind of work with, I guess, gender expression and being more confident in your own body as well as expressing yourself? And yeah. Well, it's a beautiful question. I don't feel comfortable in my own scene. You seem like the right person to answer that. I'll handle this. As a Brit. Yeah, as a Brit. So, yeah, I don't know how to, I don't have the inability to answer that. I don't feel comfortable in this current form before we've even gone to gender is what I was going to say. How do you, how do you, how do you think about this? How do you identify? I've never thought about it. Well, outside of these clothes, I am a cisgendered man. However, it's more complicated than that. You know, I think that what I found is that all of the years of me being like a freaky young kid, feeling like the odd person out, whatever, feeling like everyone was looking down at me, I found out so many years later that other people were looking at me being like, how did they have the confidence to, to be fully themselves? So I really think that like at some point, if you are just embracing your own identity in that way, then that is, that is the whole thing. That's all, it's just, it's embracing the identity, walking through the world in that way, and eventually seeing that just you're sort of active doing that is, is defiance and is incredibly strong. And I think that's where you kind of find the confidence in it. I don't know what you're going to do because your identity is not as subversive, really. The making harder. Yeah. And then I look at someone like Gareth, and I think, look at how he struggles to be a man. Look at the, look at the effort and energy it takes just to try to perform whatever meager version of manhood this is, right, like whatever, and like, yeah, let's technically say, let's just stipulate, Gareth, technically a man in the cloud, legally a man, and like we would say that is, this is like, man, you're a man, I'm not saying you're not, yeah, for sure. But my God, the effort and challenge that you clearly face, just getting out of bed, putting on the pants. If I get out of bed, right. Showers pants, yeah. Look, yeah, right. And just like kind of walking through life, trying to kind of perform whatever it is this is. Just Doritos joke after Doritos joke, that's all it is, you know. So I think it's hard for everyone. The only skill I found out about is I can identify British people. I mean, it's been, you're getting robbed in an alley and you see this, you don't feel security. You're like, the robber has backup or you're like, the trash is moving. Anyway, I thought your advice was very sweet. Thank you so much. Thanks. That was beautiful. And hey, I'm sorry. I turned this all on, Gareth. We all are. And I'm really sorry. Hey, I'm sorry. It's okay. Hey, I'm sorry. It's okay. Let's, I think we have one more message from the discord. Hey, fuckers, this is Donnie calling for love and/or leave it with Gareth Reynolds. Hey, Gary. Hey. So I have ADHD and autism. My wife just got diagnosed with ADHD, both my dogs have anxiety. of them. I was literally with what it was called the autism for dogs like the dog version of autism. So I guess my question is, what do I do? What do I do? Well the ADHD really kicked it at the end there didn't it? Yeah, and honestly, the autism was so real, was that bad? Yeah, by the way, short clip coming through autism at ADHD. I agree with your doctors. I think dogs are also like their owners, you know, often, often kind of reflect the owners. What was Donnie's question? He wants to know what he should do. With his dog? Just what he should do, then don't call the show unless you write the question down. What? Am I missing something? Bill, his question is, what should I do? Oh, it's just about whether or not what should he do about the dog that you have he does, the dog has autism. So what should we do about a dog with autism? I don't think I think put it down. Give your dog favorite food show him or her, or they, the train, and then say goodbye. Wow, that is very good. Obviously, it's very good advice. Yeah, I would think there's a little projection going on. So I would maybe seek a second opinion. Some people just look at their dogs and they just think it has whatever they have. Like, my dog has a rectile dysfunction. Because it drinks too much whiskey. Okay, you know, yeah. Hey, hey, Garrett. Yeah, you're okay, right? You're doing okay. Really good. Very good. Okay, put the little clip on. Run it back. People love the little clip. Get the little clip back on the clip. Just trying to say on this low-ass couch following this. There you go. That's good, yes. All right, what you got next? I think I'm going to get in trouble for what I said about the dog. You know, I'm obviously kidding. Which thing? Animal people are. But every once in a while, I'll see a video of someone having one of those parties where they have one last celebration of their dog. And then I do cry and hug my dog for a while. And then I propose to my now husband if this happened, maybe we'll do a party like this for Pundit. And then Ari, my husband will say, I don't like when you cry like this, you faggot. So is the question, what do I do? So what do I do? What do I do? I'll tell you what we do. John, did you just call your own show? We'll be right back. Love It Or Leave It is brought to you by Willie's Remedy. Want to de-stress up a long day, but don't love the idea of a hangover tomorrow. Now you can have fun and relax without the regrets. 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Drinkwillies.com code LOLI for 20% off. I'm Nate Silver. I'm Galen Druke. And I'm Claire Malone. We're back. This time with our friends at Crooked Media for a new show called Still Counting. Yeah, numbers are hard, take so easy. And frankly, numbers have only gotten harder. What does the data actually say? How do we reconcile that with the other things that we're seeing in American politics and around the world? And how do we use that data to understand or maybe even dare to predict the future of American politics? New episodes every Wednesday, starting September 9th. Subscribe to Still Counting on youtube.com/at Still Counting Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Terrific stuff. Will each get 60 seconds on the clock to make an impassioned defense of something that others might not support? I will go first today. I would like to talk about something which is, and this would be a bit strange. I saw on Wikipedia this morning. I read something that I could not believe. And here's what it was. Matthew Morrison from Glee was stuck on the subway during the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks in New York City. Morrison and the rest of the subway carriage spent hours underground as the world above them collapsed. After he got off the subway, he walked into his girlfriend's apartment and saw her in bed with another man. Morrison told her you might want to turn on the TV and promptly walked out. And I thought, how is this on Wikipedia? How do we know this? Well, it turns out Matthew Morrison hosted a show which was a cabaret show about 9/11. The article goes on to describe Morrison's introduction to the show. "Welcome to rhythm and revelations, a car wash for your soul." In this show, I'm not just here to perform. I'm here to spark something within you. I want to leave you with a sense of inquiry, curiosity, and wonder about your own life. Many concerts entertained by an invite you to take a closer look inside. Again, he did a jazzical whimsy spin while explaining 9/11. And I just want to say, I love it. Wow. Matt, from Glee, did a cabaret show about 9/11? I don't see how that's a hot take. I don't know how else you could feel about that. I'm just saying like, I don't know how smart the AI is going to get, but it's never going to come over to that. No. Hey, Dela, what's something that you don't care that you know? What's yours? Well, you know the. What's yours? What do I do? What do I do? Well, the heels of the heels and the hip have really been on the mind lately because I did choose one over the other and, you know, is gender-affirming care. And I really stand. I don't care how scuffed and old and ratty these pleasers get. I don't care how ridiculous it looks to have a single toe, panty-hoed toe just shoved into an open toe show. I will stand by this classic drag look forever. If it was good enough for Lady Bunny and Jackie Beat and Ms. Piggy, then I think that this is a classically beautiful look and I don't care who says else. I agree. I agree. I agree. You know what I found out the other day? Wait. That. 9/11 musical thing? That horse legs, right? Yes, the knee is the toe or something crazy. Yes, that really what a horse hoof is is the end of one finger. And that the reason they're so delicate is because they're just running on one finger and that everything else of the arm is up high. And so really what horse legs are are just four fucking fingers. And at the end of the hook is just the nail on one finger. All the other parts that are part of the. They're up there. They just withdrew and kind of evolved to be longer. And so a horse is running just on four fucking fingers. What? Yeah, and by the way, I think this is true. But it was from a video I saw on Instagram. Oh no, I went down a real long hole with this one. It is true. These are facts. Because you know how they look like their knees are all bent backwards? Yeah, not true. That's the wrist or something. They're just on their fingers. They're just running around on fingers. You can get the word out more on this. But that's why they're so delicate. Because it's like, imagine how fucked up your fingers would be if you were just running on your fucking fingers all the time, Gary. Well, yeah, I wouldn't lay down to sleep. That's for sure. I'd see you. Don't do the logic comb thing through what I just said. It's not going to end great. I want you to know something. I skipped all the way over that to realize that you and I have the exact same understanding of why horse is sleep standing up, which is Mr. Ed. Yep. Without question. I still believe they can talk. I think they can talk. That's how we know that finger thing, probably. Yeah, he tied that horse like I hate this. These are fingers. -I'm sorry, John. I have-- -I can't believe you. Do you-- Hey, he has the voice for Mr. Red in there. -Sure do. -It's not a great skill. It's not been an applicable skill to my career until now. -Yeah, pick it out, British people. -Pick it out, British people. -Did Jay Leno sing Dorito or whatever it would be coming to you? -No, I didn't. No, this could be the newest. -I just love the idea of you just on a stage somewhere in the Midwest being like, "Did somebody say Mr. Red?" -No! -I believe they did. Shut up, Frank. -You know, it's also real quick, John. Before we get into mine, I want to point out that John said that Dorito's clip pops up on his algorithm all the time. And yet, I don't believe he's a follower of mine. I really-- -What? -Are you not? -I'll do it after. [ Laughter ] -See, that's what the movie's about, really. -Is that him checking what was that? -John having a phantom phone, is. [ Laughter ] Computer, bring up algorithm. [ Laughter ] -Garrett, take it away. -Mine's not great considering the setup into this, but I'll be honest. I travel a lot. I stay in a lot of hotels. The lettuce at the grocery store we can't eat anymore. I took about two years off of bodies of water in the hotel. That includes the pool, the hot tub, and even the bathtub. And I'm back in. I'm doing the water in the hotel again. I am swimming in the pool. I'm going in the hot tub, and I will clean the bathtub, but I'll also take baths in it. Every time I explain this to anyone, it's met with great shame. And I'm sick of hiding, and I'm going to now say it. I'm in the pool, alone. I'm in the hot tub, hanging out for a while. And yes, I will be the guy who's taking a bath in a holiday. [ Laughter ] -Go ahead. -I'll just tell you something. -I'm sick. -I mean, I just, I'm sorry. And this is, when I think of a bathtub in a hotel that I would even consider using, it's a separate standalone bathtub in a fancy hotel. -Yes. -And even then, I'd almost certainly-- -Those, but bailing me in those, I'm home aloneing. -Right, but you're talking about the step-in shower bathtub that's foot after foot after a horrible foot. These are people that have what I would call other people's toes. -Like a horse. -Yeah, but like other people's toes, we all see other people's toes can be fucking anything. -Yes. -Tows can look like anything in the world. -There's a lot of studies. -Yes. I would love to follow that. There's a lot of studies that say that you could get quite sick from doing what I'm doing. -Really? -Yes. But RFK is in charge of health, so I'm leaning in. So I will-- and I'm telling you, I will take a disinfect-- I'll take a little Chlorox thing, and I will go around the tub. But most people don't seem to think that's enough. And I will be bailing in those tubs. And not just the fancy, separate ones, I'm talking-- -Foot tubs. -Foot tubs. Tubs, shower, foot tubs. -Loschy foot tubs. -Just people traveling, they're just coming late. -Sometimes I'll just put a towel in the shower and fill it, and I'll just slosh around like a fish at the end of the faith no more video. I don't care if no one gets it. -Well, that's beautiful, and that's what the segment's all about. -I feel sadder, but lighter. Thank you. -And we'll be right back. [ Cheers and applause ] -Well, we've done it, one for the history books, but there's a whole lot of footnotes on this show, at least according to my producers. That's right, it's time for second thoughts. [ Cheers and applause ] -Garard and Dela, I have a list of things that the producers believe I should have done differently or better. -Oh. -And I'm going to share the places where they believe I should have some regrets. If you have any regrets about this evening, this is a place to share them. First up, these jokes about suicide, boy, they don't work, do they? I told Garrett that going on and on is sort of your thing. -I remember, yeah, but if it wasn't so, I think you're fine. I really, I think if it wasn't accurate, you could have regrets. -I didn't give Dela-- -Let me get into it. Oh, no, go ahead. -I didn't give Dela an opportunity to show off her thumbnail poses. -Ooh. -Oh, thank you so much. [ Cheers and applause ] Sorry, there's actually really only two drag queen poses. They go like this. Or. [ Laughter and applause ] It's really good. [ Cheers and applause ] I compared Dela, I'm eating another drag queen to the original 1994 interview with the vampire. But, dude, there's something about that, right? You know, drag queens moved through the night. -Oh, we're doubling now. -Yeah, so this isn't a regret? -100 percent. I don't regret it. Drag queens, two drag queens, right? In a city without drag queens moving through the night, see each other from across the room. They recognize, wow, we have the same thing. We have the same-- we're the-- we're the-- we're special and we're not part of this. And we're-- we move among-- we're in the night. I see where you're going with this, but I think the prime difference is we don't want more drag queens. We don't want to make any more. -Right, right, right. -Two is fine. Two is fine. Two is plenty. We're all set with two. Three is a crowd. I really went after Gareth for never having been to Torridge. Or Travis stock. -No, you're absolutely right, though. I should have gone to Torridge. And now, seeing the class of gentlemen that's from Torridge, I'm a Torridge 10, so I should head over there as soon as possible. -Yeah, that's right. -I'm absolutely-- -You will fucking clean up the hottest men who have been to Torridge. -They'll be like, "Hey, guys, we think a kind of younger, Brad Pitt from America is-- -Fook it in the movie, sir! [ Laughter ] -Bruke team! [ Laughter ] Sorry to Debbie Dingo who caught some strays. And we're sorry to the people of the United Kingdom. Just want to sort of get that out there. A lot of our listeners. We have a lot of great listeners over there, and I think we're going to probably trim down some of the things I said about bone structure and inbreeding, but I'll leave this in to let them know that it was said, and I'm sorry, even if they're not going to hear it. We definitely should cut that part out of this show. -The ones that are inbreeding don't have great hearing, you're fine. -Right, right. That's such a good point. That's a good point. -No way to hit that guy so hard. -Yeah. -He also kind of has a Habsburg chin, so we should-- -No, I didn't look. I don't mean that, I don't know. -That's what Leno has. -Gareth, there was some thought that maybe you should regret talking about your dogs erectile dysfunction. [ Laughter ] -I appreciated your candor. -Thank you so much, and to whoever back there has an issue with my dog having whiskey dick, you sound like the women that it takes home. [ Laughter ] -You don't think the dog's used to hearing that sort of bullshit? -Well, I'm sorry. Jim Beams $2, where that dog goes to drink sometimes. -What was the question? -What do I do? [ Laughter ] -And that's our show. Thank you so much to Bendila Kremlin, guys. Right now, there are 55 days until the midterms. We'll be back Friday with former Congressman Katie Porter, and the great Larry Wilmore have a great night. -I love it. I believe it is a quick media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Dilma Graf, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Halle Keeper, Sarah Lazarus, Roman Borsalino, Peter Miller, David Toll's Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGrope. And our staff is proudly unionized with the writer's Guild of America East. [ Music ] -I'm Nate Silver. -I'm Galen Drewke. -And I'm Claire Malone. -We're back. This time with our friends at Crooked Media for a new show called "Still Counting." -No, numbers are hard. It takes very easy. -And frankly, numbers have only gotten harder. -What does the data actually say? -New episodes every Wednesday, starting September 9th. Subscribe to stillcountingonYouTube.com/atS stillcountingpodcast or wherever you get your podcasts.