the girl on the milk carton, mom friends, & the closet chair

(upbeat music) - Welcome to Justice Girls and his page, Katie and Sam. Quick housekeeping. We had a sleepover last night. So yeah. - Like extra bonded to you guys right now. - Yeah. - This is our first episode we've ever done where we've like been together for an extended period of time before we record. - Yes, but the night. Are you enjoying yourself? - I am. - I love it. I don't believe. I love a girl sleepover still. That's something boys don't do enough. No, definitely not. And let me tell you, we all had separate rooms last night, but when I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I get scared when I'm in a hotel room by myself. - You're gonna take in my room. - The bed was pretty big, so I was lying there. I was like, "Should I go up to one of their rooms?" - Yeah. - And I was like, "No, I have to put on my big girl panties." - You know who you don't wanna stay with? - No. - Is Sam 'cause she'd be two in her sleep. - Oh, you're right. - I was gonna say, I heard Paige farting through the wall though. - No, I didn't. - Well then maybe she wouldn't be two in her sleep. Maybe it'd be you and I, because we've been holding it all the time. - Oh, I'm not holding in parts in a hotel room, so you do not wanna sleep with me. - Well, it was so funny, Sam. - A bit of a mortification in her. - Yeah, Sam said that there was a podcast where they were all making fun of me and Paige for not farting in front of our partners. - I couldn't believe you hadn't seen that clip. - No, I didn't. I didn't come across my dad's. - Yeah. - No, they didn't tag us. - They didn't tag us. - I'm like, if you're gonna make fun of us, fair, but tag us so we can get, you know, a few follows maybe? - I think there is a silent minority who are in agreement with us. I think there is a group that align with us. - People in the comments section that agreed with you. - I agree. - I asked my girlfriends when we were out to dinner the other night. And one, like, newer to the group that I knew a friend of a friend was like, I've never farted in front of my husband. It was like, but her husband rips ass in front of her. - Yeah. - So what does that mean? - Well, a lot of people brought it up to me in person, so now I just look at them as couples. And I'm like, y'all are really just, two than us. - Two and everywhere. Yeah, well, we didn't share room this time. - No. - Which is sad. - When we did share room, it was quite fun. - Yes, but the room was very nice and cheap. So it's like, everyone gets, you get a king bed. You get a king bed. - I didn't want to be the only one to say it. I would have preferred to share room. - Really? - Yeah. - See, I can never tell because when you ask or anyone asks, are we sharing room? - Are we sharing room? - I always think they want their own room. When somebody says, like, are we sharing? I think that's their way of being like, I don't want to share. - Oh, no, think of it as like the emoji with like the little, like the slightly crying sad eyes. Like, that are big that you're like, are we sharing a room? Like, these two, like, you know, that's how I'm saying it. - All right, next time. - You have to know, like, I'm like, oh, will someone else say they also want to share? - They don't want to be the weird girl that's like, can we share room? - No, I'm always down to share. But then the problem is I don't get enough sleep 'cause I just chit-chat. - Yeah. - That's a good idea. - And we talk enough, so. - Yeah. - And I feel like with the 80s, she's like, okay, talk more, I don't know what her problem is. Don't you like to, like, come down though? Like from, because we were like, meeting, meeting, record, record, like. - No, I could keep going. - Really? Yeah, I like to come down. I like to, like, isolate. And I just, like, want to be with people all the time. - Yeah, same. - Maybe it's because I grew up in a room with two sisters. Like, I never had my own bedroom until I was a teenager. And so, like, my life was just on. - From the second you wake up to the second you go to bed. - That's why, and me and my sister had bunk beds and shared a room. So it was like, when we, oh, we're in Utah, and we shared room and had bunk beds. I was like, this is my dream. - I'm getting my girls bunk beds this year for Christmas. I think I'm so pumped. - I cannot. My kids are far too. I don't come, like, you know, people who always call their kids like feral. I don't call my kids feral. My kids are a risk factor. Like, I have children that will fall from a bunk bed. - Oh, yeah, I broke my arm. - And you broke her arm. You broken your arm a hundred times. I mean, this is an out of shocker. - I just want to forget that. - Yeah, I just don't, like, bunk beds scare me. We were, we stayed at this beach house once and there was two bunk beds. And my two oldest were like, we want to stay on the top. And I'm like, great. I don't know who designed this house. There's a ceiling fan up there. - That's one thing I worry about because-- - My son sat up, whoo, ceiling fan to the head. Luckily, he was okay. I'm very, very hard head. And I was like, oh my god. That happened to my sister with our bunk bed. She broke her nose. Like, so maybe I'm not getting back. - Yeah, there was a baby center. And the baby center didn't even call my parents. Which was just like, her nose is crooked, by the way. - My parents got home and the baby center was like, hey, by the way, like Savannah kind of like hit her nose, like whatever. And so my parents went and her nose was like basically off of her face. And they were like, what? - And so they happened to take her to the hospital. - Wait, what she hit her face on. - The ceiling fan, while she was on the top. - This is what I'm saying. - The ceiling fan, the ceiling fan. We don't have any in her house when I moved it. I ripped them all out. - I think that's very, yeah. I think that's a new thing. Like everybody takes them out. - Really? - Well, you live in the South. I mean, I feel like Florida, you need to be moving the air. - We need to move the air. - It's moist air, thick air, yeah. - I think fans make me more congested. - Really? Is that a big person I say? - I don't like a fan. I'm just not a fan person. And so we, yeah, we ripped them all out when we moved in. And I'm happy with it. We have it with a decision. - All right, so we'll report back on bunk beds, - Really? - We'll take the fan out. - Or get a low bunk bed, like where it's a trundle butt, like where it's like on the ground, you know? - Yeah, okay. - It's so fun as a kid. - I know. And like that's always. - Less than two years apart, I never had a sister. I want to like live through, like give them that. - It is so fun. - Even if it's for like a year, even if they, like, then they can split rooms again. Or whatever. - My two younger share room, and I'm not going to tell you it's like the dream. It's a parent's nightmare sometimes. It's like, I mean, when I think about that, I don't have wake ups and shit, I mean, I wake up, I'm like in the shower at 6 a.m. and I can already hear fighting. And I'm like, what is happening? And it's over nothing. - Of course. - It's like, what's the hardest part about four kids? I'm like, someone's always fighting. Like, there's just always someone, which I'm always so angry about, and I'm not angry. But I'm like, oh my God, guys, like just being nice. And then I look at my childhood and I'm like, no, we were just conceded to be fighting. - You know what's crazy is I was talking to my sister-in-law when we were all on like a family vacation. And my two sisters-in-law, they're like, oh no, we literally like never ever have gone in fights. - How old, how far apart do you think they? - Three years. - I think age gap matters a little bit. - Me and my sister are four years, and we would be wrestling. - Four years between, is that your oldest sister? - No, and my oldest is 10 years older. - Okay, yeah. - The sister's four year, the one I shared a room with was four years older. And yeah, we were like down and dirty. - Physical. - We were physical. - It was your full age physical. - Yeah, we were also not really supervised as much. So like my mom would come home from work and we'd be like, he took a fork out and chased us. And it was like, what's happening? - I think about that all the time because now that we're parents, I'm like, at what age are you allowed to let your kids stay cool? - Be a woman. - But it's okay. - I think it depends on the child because we have this conversation, my husband and I, I don't think I can let my son stay home alone until he's at least like 17. I don't know, he's just not ready. - He's very old. - He's not ready, yeah. My daughter who's a year younger, I'm like, I would do it today. - Yeah, I think so. - That's just my mom's fault. - That experiment they did where they put like the boys and the girls. - The boys on the house together and the girls in the house together. How old were they? Like 10? - They were like 10 or 11. - And the boys, it was just a complete lord of the flies. - Yes, it was pretty. - And the girls had like a system where like people were making dinner. People were cleaning dishes. It was like a beautiful commute. And the men were just a free for all. - This is not a gender, like I think it's a kid thing. Like I think gender probably does play into it as like, there's a lot of research on boys and their brains and how they develop in girls. But I do think like it's just an individual child thing. Like I look at all four of my kids. They're all so different. And like my youngest, I'm like, she's the same. I'm like, she'll never be home alone. Like she's. - That's how I feel about my youngest right now. My oldest, she's just turned four. And I'm like, you could be alone. - Don't worry, I'm not doing that, but like she couldn't. - But I was probably, I was, so I feel like sibling dynamics are, I'm the oldest of four. You're your youngest. You're the youngest too, though. Boy, girl. - Yeah, but I'm basically like the oldest. So, but I was left home alone, probably at nine. I'm a twin, so we were both nine. Our sister was eight and our brother was six. And I was home alone with all of us. And I'm like, my son is nine right now, never in a million years would I do that. - No, well, it's also, you remember they used to leave us in the car for a long time? - They would go grocery shopping if we'd be in the car. - I remember just thinking, just like being in the car the most for hours. - Sweating your ass off. 'Cause there was no AC. - It was like looking around as like strangers walk past you. - And you were just like, I hate you. - You can't even leave dogs in cars now. - No. - The Tesla message that I always see. It's like, don't worry, I'm in a car. - Yeah, that was a nice thing about the Tesla. - Yeah. - Wasn't it? - It has like on the big screen of like, don't worry. I'm cared for. - It has dog, so Tesla's have dog mode. So it's like while you're out of the car, you can leave the air conditioning on. And then on the big screen, it'll say like, the air conditioning is on. I'm being cared for so that people don't like break the windows and break the dog out. - So technically you could do dog mode for a kid in a Tesla then and just. (laughing) - Don't worry about it. One time my sister had to run in to get a mobile order. She was like parked on the curb. And her coffee was, she's like, I can see the coffee. I'm in my car and she put me on FaceTime with my niece. And she was like, aunties here, if so many comes and I'm excited, you're gonna be out of the car for four seconds. - Yeah. - But it's like one of those things where it's like, you cannot leave your kids in the car these days. Whenever people are like, why is parenting harder? I'm like, there are so many more like regulations and rules and restrictions. It's like, our parents could jit. My mom would go grocery shopping and leave us in the car for an hour. - And we would be sweating and fighting. And it was not fun. - Yeah, brawling. - Brawling. And like somebody could have abducted us. They did. They probably looked in the car and they're like, no thing. - Yeah, I don't want that. - We don't choose this life. - But like, it is way different. Yeah, so I don't know what age I can leave my kids alone. So I'm not gonna, we'll never leave a kid in the car. - No, we'll not leave a kid in the car. - So I don't. - They also didn't have social media, right? Where they didn't know what other parents were doing. There weren't people saying, like, I would never, did it, you know what I mean? They didn't care. - It's like yesterday year. - Yes. - Yeah. - Where she, like, these are kid in the car and they're falling. - Yeah. - And they're always like, you're a baby in the car. - That's crazy. That was crazy. - That was crazy. But I think there are still a certain group of people who do those things. And they're like, it's like the 90s. I'm like, but we learned a lot. We learned not to leave the kids in the car. - We learned a lot. - Yeah. It's like a death trap. - Yeah. - The car in particular. I haven't, have we heard stories about where like kids get abducted, have cars like that? - Okay, the abduction car. - Abduction, yeah. I feel like that's such a 90s word. But also, there's like data to show that that doesn't really happen. - Yeah, no one's looking in cars being like, can I abduct that kid? - It's like the don't talk to strangers thing. It's like a majority of things happening kids are with strangers. - It's what the people they know. - Yes. - And like not saying abduction doesn't happen, it does, but like the whole milk carton like phase, it's like they really hammered that into us. - It's so scary. - Will, what about a dead man? Back in my book, kids on milk cartons? Like it's so cool. - When you get your little meal. - Whenever it was like the girl of the milk cart. - It was a book or two I think. - Yeah, what? - She's not reading that. - I'm not reading. - When we got our like little lunch trays and you got your milk carton. - Okay. - And there would be like kids on them that are like missing children. - No, we never had missing children on our cartons. - What? - In no way. - I don't think we did either. I think it was something that was left over from like the 80s. - Mandala effect, something like that. - Yeah. I think the idea was that like there wasn't social media so you couldn't send out like an amber alert. - So you know how our phones are all like boom. Like child has been abducted. And so they were like put it on a milk cart. - What is it? - I don't know what a milk carton do. - Because they were all kids looking at it. - Everybody was drinking milk. We were all drinking milk at dinner. Yeah, I have a carton. - I don't know. - I don't know about that. - You remember a milk carton? - It's a Gabe Judsey. - I've like seen it in movies. - Yes, he's like I know it's ancient. - Back in the days. - He's like I saw it and my mom's favorite movie. - From 1972. - Oh. - Like that verse. - Grace. - Do they have no horns in Grace? - I'm sure they had milk cartons in Grace. - Or Grace did. - What a movie. - Yeah, yeah. - Love that movie. (upbeat music) - So this morning I woke up with like internal alarm clock, mom, right? Like I wake up at like six and I-- - Well, not the scene, right? We're all in our own hotel rooms. - We're all in our own hotel rooms. I wake up. I of course, Millennials sleep with my phone next to my face. - Of course. - I come next to my face. - I come for it now. I can never be more than an arm's like the way. And I look at it and there's a text from Katie and I thought to myself, not now, not now Katie, I will not look at this. And I was like, hopefully it's not an emergency. I was like, come to our room, I feel sorry. - Well, I bet it's like something. And then like 30 minutes later she texted again. And I was like, I don't know, I don't know. And then I looked at the clock and it was like 7, 15. And I was like, okay, I will look at the text. And then I was like, okay, I will wake up. And I started texting you back and say I was like, I'm not gonna come. - Well, honestly, I scrolled up and I was like, oh, they've been texting for a while. I wonder if you guys are gonna be like, is she sleeping in again? Did she? - She lives, yeah. - Yeah, I don't know. I just, I love sleeping in in a hotel room. - I just can't sleep in. I've never had been able to since I was a child. Like it's just not my MO. So it's whether or not my kids are with me. I'm up at five. I have always been a very good sleeper. Like my mom has always jokes. She's like, you used to put yourself to bed. She's like, it too, you'd be like, good night. - And you just like go to sleep and sleep for extended periods of time. I love sleeping. - 'Cause you don't have anxiety. I don't have, you can go to your bedroom. You can lay down on your pillow and be like, I'm so tired. - Matt is so weird. He's like, we will be talking. You will say, all right, love you. Good night. He's like, you will roll over and instantly be asleep. He's like, it's so weird. And I'm also a person who like, if I wake up in the middle of the night for a kid or to pee or whatever, I can fall right back asleep. So like, I wake up, I go to the bathroom. I come to bed. I'm right back at it. Like, it's like it never happened. I go back to bed and I can sleep. I can sleep in, but Matt has become, what you're talking about. If he hears an oys at 4.14, he's awake in the morning. He's like, I'm awake. - That's my husband. I'm more, I am more like you is sleep. I love sleep. - I love sleep. - I love sleep. - Yeah, I know, I'm just sleep. - I'm always asleep dead. Oh wait, I just can't sleep. I sleep dead. - You're always sleeping dead. - There's no freshly postpartum. - No, this is a lifelong thing. - Okay. - It's just like, in the middle of the night, if something happens, it's a death sentence for me because then I'm up for the next three hours, make replaying every dumb decision I made in my life, being like, this person hates me. I did this wrong. I can't believe I did that when I was four. Like, it's four days a day, forever and ever. - I'm still thinking about the kid on the milk carton. - I'm like, is he a cow? - Are you a cow? - I've gotten worse, the older, I used to be really intense about like, I need eight or nine hours of sleep. Pre-kits, obviously. I was like, I need eight or nine hours of sleep. So I would like, do the math and be like, okay. I did an internship at a news station and I would get up at 4 a.m. So I was like, I'm going to bed, I'm going to bed. Now, I do revenge bedtime. Like, I cannot help myself, it's like my one time where I'm alone and I will read so late at night or I'll scroll on my phone or I'll just like do last night. We're like, good night, I'm gonna go right to bed. Katie was like, what are you gonna watch? I'm like, nothing, I'm gonna go to bed. - Yeah, what'd you do? - Entered emails for two hours and like sat my bed to click, clacking away and then I was like, - I was scrolling. - Yeah, I think I was scrolling. - Because I have that blocker on my apps. So when I went to go scroll, my app was blocked and I was like, I was gonna unblock it. - I would just turn it off, unblocked. - See, that's why I have the brick. I have to like physically get off to block it. - I did not unblock it. I was like, I'm going to have some self control and I'm gonna go to bed. - Yeah, I would do that. - And then you worked. - Well, I worked, yeah, I worked and then I would have kept scrolling if my blocker wasn't on. I probably would have been up till midnight and said I went to bed at like 1130. - Yeah, yeah. - No, I think it's the worst when you like, go to spend the alarm. Like when we do the trade and come here really before, and it's like, you should have gone to bed at 7pm. And it's like, I look at like 1030. And I'm like, well, I guess my whole week is just fuck now. Also wearing the order ring when I come out of my kids bedroom they like finally fall asleep. It's like 9pm, but my aura is like straight. No, it's like, you should be getting ready for bed now. And I'm like, girl, I just walked out of the kids room. - You're like, my kid is just starting right now. - I need to eat dinner. It's 9pm, I need to watch a show. Like, I have started. I'm the sleep to the technology. I'm like, you're right, it is time for bed. I'm just gonna go to my little room and brush my teeth. - You with a tear, or I use to say, it's bedtime. - I do, but it's like, I feel like my cup is empty 'cause it's like, I'm not reading. I'm not doing anything for myself. I'm just going to bed. Well, this is the book, you also are too screen-queen. Like, I'm not watching any TV during the day. So if I'm gonna watch, if I'm gonna consume something, - Yeah, I have to do that. - It's gonna be a night time. I'm gonna watch the show. - Well, I'll show it on. And then I fall asleep within five minutes. You have a TV in your room? - We do, but we don't watch it that much 'cause I don't like the TV in your room. - We do, I genuinely think we don't turn it on. I cannot sleep with light. I need, I'm a baby. I need a pitch black room. Dark outchains, sound machine. - You wanna sound machine? - Loud, yeah. - No. - Really? - I want a quiet room, quiet on the set, quiet. - I think once I started having kids, I started with the white noise when they were in my room. And now I get so used to it because if I would hear a sound, it would wake me up. And now I just, I need my. - Yeah, no, but I'm a big rule in my house 'cause no TV is in the bedroom. - Yeah. - I would never do that for my kids. - I never grew up with a TV in a bedroom. My parents would have a TV in their bedroom. - This whole school, I think. - I was never, I didn't get one until I lived in my own apartment and I had a TV in my bedroom, but that was 'cause that was like your safe space, right? - Yeah. - This is my room. - Yeah, you didn't even come in here. But yeah, my kids are just never gonna have that. - Yeah, I would never have a TV in my kids. I had a TV in my room from a very young age. - Well, you guys know my rules. Couches are for TV beds or for sleeping. Like pick one. - But that is a good rule to have. I think that's a very important thing. That's how I am with my bed too. Like I get up out of bed. The morning I do not touch my bed again until I'm going to sleep. - Oh, no, I don't touch the bed. I don't even look at the bed. I don't even go in that room. It's like, it's not in my business. Like it's for sleeping and I can't. - Do you make your bed? - I do, I do. - Do you? - No. - It's like, I forced myself to start making my bed. - Okay, here's the thing. I did for a little bit. I wanted to continue, but my husband and I have two separate computers because he's a very hot sleeper. He needs like a light quilt. I like to, we keep the room really, really cold. And I have like this big down comforter that he would sweat through. So it's like annoying to make it with two. That's what I tell myself. I can't be there. - See, rather get into a, just, what? - Lumpy mess at night. Like I just can't imagine. - That means to the, it probably. - Like I can myself turn down service. - Yeah, all right. (laughing) - It's like a very much like a mental advantage. - It is like, it is laundry I make it 'cause then like, or if I'm packing, like I'll make your kids make their beds. - No. - Oh, I do. - See, I do. And that's why I started making my bed every day because my kids, my four-year-old's making her bed girl. - Yeah. - So as my wife says, "Can't leave his room and tell us about his bed." - That's a rule. - You don't know if we're doing that. - We're doing that. - I mean, it's not, I'm not gonna say like, this is how you raise your bed. - This is what you mean by that. - But like, I'm like, all of you, before you walk downstairs, you are dressed, your teeth are brushed, your bed is made. Like, your bed is gonna be made and it can be, I don't expect it to look beautiful. - Pillows are on. - Pillows are on. - Pillows are on. - The comforters pull down. - Yeah, the whole thing's on the floor. - Yeah, it's a little lumpy, it's a little bumpy. - I think it's also raising a sun. It's very important to me to make him make his bed because I'm like, this is the expectation. So that, you know, my son ever happens in the future. - He's the only one I don't have to say, like, did you make your bed? He's always like, yep, it's made. Like, he's really good about it. But he's also, I don't know about you guys. Like, when I fall asleep, my husband's like, you're like a corpse, you don't move, feel like, however, you fall asleep, that's how you're asleep. And two of my kids are like that, like, they don't move. My son never moves, my daughter never moves. - Oh, no, my kids are. - Two of my daughters are like, in circles, their bed is, so I actually feel bad for them in the morning 'cause I'm like, actually, making your bed is very difficult because your sheet is a twisted knot and everything's on the floor and you did that in your sleep. And so like, I will help them with parts of it. I'm like, I'll help you. - It is wild, I have a lot of thoughts about this. - Did you make their bed? - Until this moment. There's just something about walking into my bedroom when it's time for bed and seeing a nicely made up bed and being like, that looks nice. - They say that people that make their bed are like more successful or more rich or something and I believe that 'cause you have systems in place. - Yeah, yeah, it's just, I think it's a feeling. It's a feeling. It's the same way you turn yourself on. - I'll try it on for the week, can you see how I do? - I think about my made bed when I'm heading to bed in the same way that, as I'm falling asleep, I'm thinking about my coffee in the morning. Like, I'd go to bed thinking about that coffee. So, I, don't make my bed, I fart up a storm. - You guys just think I'm like, - I'm like, "Frat House." They didn't literally say a little bit about my coffee. - She's like, "Hey, come in my bed and we'll be like, Yeah, I know thank you well especially because I like you know those videos where they make fun I'm like when you think someone's going to come into your house for the first time. So let me see your closet Let me see you ever I had somebody come to my home and Literally was like hey, can you give me a whole tour weird of the whole house? And I was like It's my nightmare and luckily like my bed is like that's one of the reasons that I think my bed is me because I'm like My master bedroom is like my playroom. I throw it all in. It's a mess But the rest of my home. Yeah, that drum. Yeah, my closet is like that Like you have the chair. No, my closet is perfectly crisp Interesting, nothing close chair. I don't know a close chair If you see I took it away if you take an article of clothing off your body It's either cleaner dirty. It's going in the laundry or being hung up and put away like it's not living on a chair It has a home. I like yes, I agree with you But I like I physically cannot do that. It's just like I get neurodivergence I get mine's not standing on my dresser. Yeah, there's in which we accept always for me It's like I what is it like do it right or do it twice or what's the other saying? It's like if you could save the time now. It's like I'd rather just do it now Yeah, they have this pile of clothing so I you guys know this about me like I'll get in bed and be like I'm not gonna do my lotion and then I'm like I'm gonna do my lotion Yeah, I will put something and be like I'm not putting that away and then two seconds later I walk out of the room and I gotta put it away. I gotta put it away. I need to come sleep at your house for weeks I so badly want to be like that my brain just like physically cannot do it I will be like that for two days like I'll clean my closet and I'll be like you are no longer putting things on this chair Ever again, and then it's like two days later. There's just like a few things on the chair And then I love and I just look at the mirror and I'm like I'm so disappointed at you Like you just need to know but you just have a different brain and that's okay like I We were talking about this off air, but it's like I live in a house full of neurodivergent people And I am not one and it's taken a lot of work for me to be like this is how their brain works This is how they operate and like I create systems to help them operate better or like to teach them including my husband I'm like he has his own systems But like I think if he didn't live with me it would be a chair Like it be a chair of all the things and not because I'm putting his stuff away But because like we have systems so he can just like do it Well and what's that is it's like every day you only have a set amount of time to clean and so when I'm cleaning I want to clean the kitchen the living room the things. I'm seeing every day Downs day and so it's just then like my closet. I don't have time And it's funny because like I'll make a video every once in a while that's like cleaning my closet because it's an absolute disaster And people will see me in person and they'll be like oh my gosh your closet looks like that like your house never looks like that and I'm like okay Like kill yeah Like I'm a human okay, but it's like it's just because I don't have time to do everything So it's like I'd rather my closet where only I'm going and it's closed off to be a mess and everything else that's being seen is a peaceful place This is how I feel about kids toys like I don't want to see them But I don't actually care what it looks like behind the door right so my kids like toys storage I'm like it it has a system and I will go through every like month or something and like reorganize it But on a day-to-day basis. I'm just like just put it away. That's like how do you run away about living room kids first bedroom kids? Yes, yeah, I was a bedroom kid growing up so it's like a very important and like if you don't know the whole thing is like living room kids Living in the living room they play in the living room. They want to be around you They want to be out in the open and bedroom kids are like hiding in their bedroom playing and so it's like getting a lot of time Yeah, it's great to have living room kids because I want that vibe in my house But it comes with the fact that our living room is a mess Disaster and so at the end of the day, I'm like toys everywhere Legos everywhere landmines and it's like I get so frustrated But then it's like like the videos you see where it's like what day you're going to miss this Yeah, you know you might see a mess, but I see a happy room where kids are playing all day Yeah, I'm always like go play in your room and they're like no, I don't want to be alone I want to lock it like I would like to be alone for a minute. Please Okay last night Because we stayed here we went out to dinner and I posted a photo of us and I got so many messages I get this all the time every week when we post a new episode that's asking questions about like how did you guys become friends? Are you actually friends? Do you actually like how do you make friends every like I don't know how to like I'm I get that all I don't know if you guys get that. I'm constantly getting my cat to make friends People also ask if you are liar related. Yeah, people think we're sisters Which is the key sound like which I don't think my self ever heard my listen to my voice I'm like literally bury it in a hole and die like I cannot be around people listening to my videos or the podcast because I'm like I think everyone feels that way. Oh, no Yeah, you can't listen to my stuff from me. What level did you ever like singing into like your phone and listen to it always? You're really trying really hard and putting your all into it and you listen back and you're like oh, no I'm never gonna be able to sing the talent show. Oh, but I didn't Never gonna be Taylor Swift. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, I actually had stage fright But like weirdly was Balsey in middle school like I would go do the talent show. Yeah, you are beautiful like Chrissy and Aguilar Oh my god, do you have a video? I sure hope you did somebody throw a shoe at you. No, but I did it with someone else like we didn't do that. I don't think mean girls was out yet though. I know I'm saying they took it with me. Yeah, yeah, they I was the inspiration. We wouldn't what did they say? What's what before you start the song and say? Oh, I don't know Don't look at me. Don't look at me. You started that. Don't look at me. Yeah. No, I didn't, but I showed up because it was pretty bad. Yeah, okay Well, now that that's clear that we are not really did not sister. Not right. You don't sound though. No, don't He has a wonderful voice and I have a terrible voice It's just that different No, I asked my husband as I do you think Katie and I sounded like and he said no not at all And I said he goes I think you two probably sound more similar than Sam He's like her voice is more distinct than you were two voices and he's like I could get that a little bit Which is good thing that's good for your brand because we're just blending together actually it's good for my brand because you know Page is funny and wonderful so I'm like okay, baby What's the same? I mean you're like I hate my voice and we're like page you sound like Katie No, whenever you talk of like her voice is so good like for Brock your broadcast journalist Yeah, I mean you went to school for it. They really yeah honing in it was so funny like when I see friends who like became like news journalists Broadcaster and it was when you talk to them in regular life. It's a regular conversation Then you see them on TV or like oh my god like they turn it on it's such a switch in the way they talk and the evidence It's so interesting. It's a talent. It's a real talent. There's a real I need to I want the class to learn how to do that I mean, what were we talking friendship? Friendship people don't know where friends people I think the question I always got is like how do you make Friends and like female friendships, especially as you're older and I think everybody's like oh you like it ours does not turn around our kids, which I think is interesting. Everybody's like oh most female friendships in your 30s 40s Or because your mom friends. Yeah, or friends from the past or friends from the past. Yeah, I feel like ours is really like we met at that event in DC I've been following you both before I mean social media helps yeah without that's our commonality, right? Yeah, we're all content creators So it's like when we meet we have that commonality and not only that even though our content is different It overlaps it overlaps share morals. Yeah, the exact the moral values like how we show up online is very similar So I think that like all placed together. Yeah, but I think in real life what I have found or I don't know what you guys have found But like I've made a lot of friends through like other moms But our friendships. I think the key is not making our friendships revolve around our kids. Yes, they do not like my friendships with my Quote uncle like mom friends actually have nothing to do with the kids anymore. It's like it that's how it started But it became it reminds me of your freshman year of college like you can meet a mom group because you all end up in the same dorm together It's like you end up at the same preschool and so then you everybody meets and you do some nights you do pre-games together Yeah for coffee and then after that you're like okay who are the people like I see that can like I don't know what the word I'm looking for but like I don't know and dance to like flourish I'm always thinking of flourish Floresch a big word but in so it's like for that's a good commonality start because you know you're in a summer life phase But like what are you reading the same you're watching the same as you enjoy walking or workout classes? Yeah Yeah, it's interesting because I think like you just need to find something that you have in common And I think also the key is like you have to be willing to put yourself out there and have it not work Well, I think that's the other thing I wouldn't so many coffee days or play dates with other moms and like we just didn't hit it off And it's like we thought we might the kids were fine and then we're like Yeah, it's just not we're not well, I feel like I'm trauma dumping within the first 10 minutes Always gonna work. Yeah, you know because sometimes when you have people it's like oh they're nice They're kind, but it's so surface level like I don't know. I need to really get in there. Yeah. No, I can't do that either I like Joe. I feel like I short-circuit what I'm trying to have small talk I don't know how to have small talk. Is that a neurodivergent thing because I like yeah, I can't do it Yeah, I try really in my head. I'm like be normal be normal. Yeah, talk about the weather Yeah, don't talk about tropical don't like say like really disparaging weird things like but then I overshare and yeah Don't say weird stuff. This is what it's like page. Yeah, you're trying to talk out loud But then you're in your head and yeah, and then I'm like making eye contact. I'm a knot. Yeah, I contact. Yeah, my being weird And then he was like and it's 4 a.m. Because my kid woke up and I'm like well, they hated me No, I have that too even with my best friends I always walk away and I'm like did I talk too much? I do this to it But I think that's just like a human it that's the people pleaser at us But I also say that to my best friends afterwards. Sometimes I think was that weird today like sorry I feel like you've texted us after you're like I feel like Yeah, we're like what are you talking about? I just think I've done that too. Yeah, I just think it's also It's funny because we've also gotten comments from this podcast where we're like you guys kind of are mean to each other I'm like we're just joking with I don't know like we've talked about this but like the East Coast if it all like we're We're always just joking with each other or roast each other, but I was telling Katie this morning when we're getting the bagels waiting for you. - Absolutely. - That we have this great group of friends and we'll occasionally be like, "Oh, I'm at this girl. "I think she'd be great." We should say she wants to go to dinner or whatever. We try to tweak overwhelm that person because it's like, it is really nerve-wracking to come into a group of people that is like a solid group of friends and you're like invited into the fold, not in a clicky way, but like, "Hey, you should join us." It's like, "I'm nervous whenever I join." That situation. But when somebody kind of comes in and like, swinging a little bit, like, there was this girl and she made a joke about our friend on the first and we were all like, "Oh, we like her." - Yeah, that was great. That was fun. - Well, like, for me, it's when your friends roast you, I almost feel more comfortable with them 'cause you walk away and you're like, "I know exactly where I stand." Like, the fact that they're openly making fun of me and like, making it a joke and like, they still like me. They feel comfortable to say that to me. Like, I know they're not leaving and talking, like, should about me. - Yes. - Yeah. - But I think people that aren't okay with that, I think it's just like insecurities because they think like that that joking is like real. - Yeah. Well, and I also think it like depends, like, I think if you were like, I'm one of four, it's like that was my life growing up. But I also think like, it's not gonna be just the joking. I think it's to your point, like, the trauma done, but that all like, I feel like we get very real, very quickly in female friendships, like where we talk about everything. And like, my friends would be like, "Oh, I feel like, I feel like I, like, overstepped here, like, give me your honest feedback." I'm like, "Okay, I'll give you my honest feedback." Like, I think that has also been something I've noticed the older we get where I was like, "I feel like when we were younger, I would like tiptoe around a friend." - No, people pleasing, I was adapting to meet them. - Yeah, but like-- - I did that a lot. - Why don't they give you like a terrible guy and you'd be like, "Here, I can't tell her he's terrible because then she'll get mad." And it's like, now it is, I think it's very much where somebody's like, "I'm, this situation happened at work. Do you think I was in the wrong?" Do you think, look, whatever. And I very much feel like I can be really open and honest. Did I ever tell you guys what Netflix does for feedback? - Oh God. - So we used to do these things called 360's and you would sit in a conference room and you'd go around to each person and you'd like tell them what they're doing wrong in front of the whole conference room. - How was that helpful? - They were supposed to just be like, the whole, the canter was like-- - Would you cry? - I would hold it and then I would cry after. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I would. - Yeah, you were way too sensitive. - What I take it off the chin. - What I usually would try to do is have meetings, went on one with everybody before to be like, "What are you gonna say?" So I could like just like, mentally prepare. - Prepar, but it's also like, the whole thing is you're supposed to practice canter all the time, so by the time you get to 360's, it's not that you haven't heard. - It does not hurt. - Yeah. But I do think after being there for 10 years and learning to give feedback that way, 'cause it's like the most efficient. - Yeah. - I, like, I will have conversations with my friends. And like, I feel like you guys, when we like start planning things, I'm like, "Hey, if I'm being too direct and straightforward, please let me know." - Oh, because it's like. - You are a really direct and straightforward. So you think that's where it comes from? - I like her stuff, though. - They were like, "We will fire you if you are not this way." - Wow. - Because it's like, "We don't have time to pass of aggressively tiptoe around feedback. Like, we gotta keep moving, things go fast, so tell them what you think, get out of the conference room, and go fix it." - And go. - I also think, like, saying those things, though, that, like, we're old enough now, and have been a friendship group to, like, be self-aware to say, like, this is who I am. Like, this is who I am. - Yeah. - I'm a very direct person in general. - Yeah, like, I like that with you. - But I used to, my therapy, I used to not be like that at all. I used to be very people-pleasing. My therapist, having work on, like, having the confidence. - Well, you've come a long way. - I appreciate that. - Yeah. I don't know. I just think it's one of those things where you, yeah, it's good to just be who you are and to, like, own that. - Well, and I think, as, like, coming back to female friendships, I think, as 35-year-old women, like 36, over here. - Oh, holy-- - Whoa! - Over the hill. - They're eight toward ACL. - If she's Christ. - I'm trying. - If my foot's still broken. - Yeah. - Like, I'm no better than you. - She was like, "How's your knee?" I was like, "Well, because I'm walking funny, I kind of hurt my back now." - So I'm just, like, such an old woman. - Like, when I Uber my toe hurts. - No, I'm not walking to my toe. It's the size of, like, a great foot now. - I didn't think it looked that bad. It was a little, like, sideways. - It was a bit of swallowing. - I sent a picture of my husband last night. He was like, "You really need to go to a doctor." - What were you saying? - We just had a friendship. - Oh, I think it's also about having confidence to put yourself out there and say, like, "Hey, if me and this person don't click, it's okay." - Okay, if you don't click with everybody and there's no expectation that you will click with everybody. Like, I try to put in place the things I'm teaching my kids to myself. - Not everyone's gonna be your friend. You know, you could be, what is it? You could be the juiciest peach and somebody still won't like peaches. Just, like, have a confidence to put yourself out there. See if you click. If you don't, move on. - Yeah, that's so true. Because with our kids, it's like, you don't have to play with everybody all the time. You don't have to be nice to people. You're to be kind to people. Like, everything we tell our kids, we should just like tell ourself. - But we don't have friends too. - We don't have friends too. - Yeah, we don't have to go with postpartum so often, like, when my friends are, like, talking about their postpartum bodies and how they feel comfortable, I'm like, "You just had a baby." - Like when you were a child. - But then me, I look at the mirror and I'm like, "Oh, you know what? - It's so much easier to give others support and compassion. - And grace yourself. - Yeah, and just don't give ourselves grace. - I will say, I have one red flag that I do not like when I meet someone new. - I'm excited to hear it. - Yeah. - I think it's all, like, I will say this. I think gossip can be fun and silly and whatever. And there's like a time and a place for, like, lighthearted gossip. I do not like when I meet somebody or, like, I'm starting to get to know someone. And they are, like, gossiping about people's, like, actual personal lives and business. - Totally. - I don't want to hear about their messy divorce. I don't want to hear about, like, like-- - And what is-- and I think that kind of showcases what's going to happen when you leave the room. - That has happened to me. - Great outline. - That has happened to me where, like, I start to meet someone and they're like, "Oh, do you know so?" And so, and I'm like, "Oh, no, I don't know." And they're like, "Oh, well, if you meet them just so you know." And I'm like, "I would like to make my own opinions about this person when I meet them." Like, that is a real red flag to me. I'm like, "I don't want to get involved in any of that." Like, I'm kind of at that age now where I'm like, "What time for that?" - I don't-- it's not my business. And it's like, also, we're all living really difficult complex lives. Like, if she's going through a messy-- that's her business. Like-- - And she wants to tell us about it great. - Yeah. - Maybe it's childhood trauma too, because I grew up with, like, divorce parents and an alcoholic parent. And it's like, I knew people were talking to me about my family. Like, and you-- - Yeah. - People would look at us and I'd be like, "Ugh." Like, it sucks that I'm being judged to based on, like, my, like, what's happening in my family. - Yeah. - Which I'm like, "Do you have control of that?" - Who are you to judge? - Yeah. - So, like, I think that's also a passion. - Everyone's got shit going on. - I'm very sensitive to that now with my kids and the people they're surrounded by, because-- - But I think it goes back to the situation, Dio. - The gossiper is the insecure one, because they just want to make it about everybody else, because they don't want people talking about them. - Well, it's also, like, same kind of situation where if somebody comes to you and you're like, "Oh, this girl was talking bad about you to me." And it's like, "Why did they feel comfortable talking bad about you?" - Yeah. - Or did you say something to-- Like, 'cause I will, like, if somebody does that around me about somebody I know, and I'm like, "Oh, I think that's so interesting you say that, 'cause I don't feel that way at all." Or, like, I will say something, like, about it. 'Cause I just think that's so-- - But that's where I think with female friendships. Like, I would-- like, that's not even, like, a thing I would think about with you, too. You know what I mean? Like, finding friends that you don't even have to worry about that shit. 'Cause, like, I think as we step into older age, like, you are-- Like, it's such a beautiful gift in our mid-30s of, like, knowing who you are versus my 20s. I don't know who the fuck I was. And so, you know who you are, and it's, like, when there's stuff that doesn't align with that, I'm like, "I don't have time for this." - Yeah, what? And I think we have to be also, like, with us three launching, like, a podcast together at a business, and, you know, putting all this effort into something. You want to feel-- I'd, like, you're saying, I've never once left the room and, like, "Oh, they're mad at me," or they feel this way. We're all, like, very much open with each other, and, yeah, each other feedback, and I feel like that's what helps build such a wonderful-- - And I think we're much more open about who we are in the sense that, too, even, like, how we're talking about, like, neurodivergence and anxiety. It's, like, I lived with one of my best friends in college, lived with her for three years. I did not know she struggled with anxiety. She never said it. She never told me I didn't know. And then, in our later 20s, she started to, like, open up about it, and she, like, would tell me, like, "Girl, I had no idea. I wish I had known." And now, what I've noticed with my friends is they'll be like, "Yeah, I get really anxious, so if I'm acting this way, it's because I'm having some anxiety about it, and, like, it's not a "you" thing, it's a "me" thing." And, like, I do feel like that has changed. - Be able to communicate that. - Being able to communicate, like, what's actually happening in our lives, and, like, or even, like, the postpartum thing. It's, like, I'm feeling uncomfortable in my body right now, so if I'm, like, acting weird, or, like, whatever, it's, like, that's just a "me" thing. Like, I don't think in my 20s I would have ever said that out loud to a friend. - No. - I'm trying to do that more when I cancel plans, because my problem is-- - Interesting, yeah. - Like, I over commit to things, because I don't want to say no to people, and I want to do things, but then I, especially, like, I forget I'm postpartum, so I'll commit to all these social activities. - You're so new on postpartum. - My baby will not be sleeping, and, like, it'll be the day of where I'm supposed to go somewhere, and I am so depleted, exhausted, unwell, and I will, like, make up an excuse, because it's, like, for some reason, I just could not get the confidence to say, like, I am unwell right now. - I'm so pleased. - I'm so sorry it can't talk to you. - I don't want to be that person, and I'm trying to get better at that, but I just speak open and being, like, I'm unwell. I'm sorry, I cannot come. I really don't want to spend time with anyone. - It's a rough day, and a good friend would understand. - Yeah. - Yeah, I think we need to do that a lot more often. I will also say another thing about making friends. I was like, I think if you had pointed to Katie in a crowd, and you guys would be friends, I'd be like, I don't know. - She's like, look at how we're dressed, like, literally. - And Paige and I went down to the lobby. If you are watching on audio, she's, like, camo pants, an army tank top. I am in, like, a full-trade wife, Hill House. - I'm just like, I'm Katie first, when I came down, and I, like, have a professional yapper hat on, and I just saw Hill House, like, beauty, and I was like, oh, I'm not matching the vibe. - I told Paige, it looks like she's going to war, and I'm the wife. - Yeah. - She's going to the kid. - She's Taiwan, and doing the homestead. - Taiwan. - Well, she's like, 50s couple. - You're beautiful. - We're about to, we're the baby boomer generation. - But I think that's my child, like, cap. - Literally, I think you're, like, summer vibes. I don't know. I was just going casual here. Very casual. - We accept just a little bit. So this is another thing about being in your 30s. I have a slight ponytail bump in my hair right now. And do you remember how embarrassing that felt in middle school? (laughing) I was like, what the heck? When I woke up, 'cause I had a clock flip pump and I'm like, I don't have a straightener. I don't straighten my hair anymore. Whatever. But that was like-- Well, that's because I don't have like silk scrunchies now. Like they do now. Everything was like the tight. So it was so tight. There was a huge crimp in your hair. You had a ponytail. And you wake up and it'd be like, well, dumb and dumber. And then it was like, (laughing) But do you remember that being the most embarrassing thing that could possibly happen in middle school? High school was having a ponytail bump. Oh, what size? I completely forgot about that. I'm so triggered. Like I feel out of my stomach right now. Which is why you never put your hair in. I've never seen Katie with a ponytail. No, I actually-- I don't-- Yeah. I've never seen it with a ponytail. I've seen it with a long clip. A long clip? No, it was. It was when I moved to California. I feel like everybody always had their hair down always and I became used to it. Interesting. I don't know if it was like living by the beach. I don't know, actually. Because middle school and high school was just the messy bun ponytail. Well, now it hurts my-- It gives me a headache. Yeah. I get a really bad headache. Yeah. And I think I got so used to it. I'll do a claw clip. I never know. Yeah, but even that sometimes gives me a headache. Yeah. I have a very sensitive scalp. And never, ever wear those when you're driving a car. I know. I know. I know. Take it out, ladies. Yeah. Like, and like, fracture your skull. But the top part is that's when I do put my hair up. So I'm like, I got the car on the tree. No, I know. I know. Sometimes I'll try to put it up on the top of my head. Oh, you have those flat ones. I know I've seen those. But they don't work as well. They don't work as well. They do, I know. I tried one. I was very satisfied. They go sideways in their flat. Oh, so they will. Press your skull. And then until if you're laying on a pillow or something, it's not how when you lay down and you have a claw clip in. Has that actually happened or is it more of a-- No, it's actually-- Your doctors are seeing people in car accidents with it goes into your skull. Because people are wearing claw clips. Well, yeah, they are. I thought it was more like an urban legend. No, I think it's a real one. Yeah. I think it was like an ER dog wind viral on TikTok or something. I love those stories. [MUSIC PLAYING] Don't do that. It's like that and e-bikes. They're like, get your kid off of the freaking e-bikes. I put a helmet on them. It is crazy. The e-bikes are crazy. We have a few of them on our street and the kids drive so fast. And no helmets. Well, not only that, it's no license. My son will be scootering neck. Oh, my God. They'll be like, God's race. And I feel bad for my son, because he's four, so he doesn't understand. And we're like, you cannot race the e-bike. And he gets really upset because he's like, I want to race. And we're like, it's not you. It's that. This is a child on an e-bike. It's basically a motorcycle. Yeah. They go so fast. I just don't understand where I live. So I am in Massachusetts, but near New Hampshire. And the second you cross the border to New Hampshire, their slogan is, "Live for your die." So, you know, they're having a good time up there. What if they talk about the slogan a lot? Live for your die. But you don't have to wear a helmet on a motorcycle. So you get to New Hampshire and have me free. So many people take their helmets off, and just like put them on them. And I'm like, why, though? Why? I feel like it's not the end, though. He doesn't wear a helmet. He's an ER doctor. Like, there's like symbolism behind it. Yeah. It's the end of the plot. Yeah. That's a good shit. We talked about the fiddle on it, too. I'm sorry, there's a bit. Robbie. Dr. Robbie? Yeah. Like, I feel like he's a good man that we love. Oh, put him on the list. Put him on the list. The character. Yeah. Actually, the actor seems to be a stand-up guy. Is he on Scrubs? What's he? Yeah, I think he was one of the doctors on Scrubs. No, not Scrubs. To her hospital. No, what's that? Crazy anatomy. With George Clooney. That's-- what was the hospital show? The ER? ER. It was really ER. I didn't realize, like, for the older people. He's like, excited back. And I wonder, I'm like, who are the younger actors that, like, when we get older, they're going to be older, being a show. And we're going to be like, oh, when I was younger, he was a dream mode. He was an actor. No. Belmont. When I watched all the campus in my day. Oh, my gosh. You're still going to be obsessed with Belmont when you're seven years old. Gross. But I was going to say, we don't have as many ebikes in our town, but this is very Florida-coded. Some of the neighborhoods, like, the kids are driving the golf carts around. I have to say, I've seen videos where they're turning golf carts into, like, little RVs. No, they are straight, like, real cars, at this point. Yeah, like, well, they're putting, like, little on with a bago type things. And it's, like, you could go in. And there's, like, a little fridge. You could, like, make little fans. How many people die on those golf carts? No, and there aren't so many kids. Under age that do not have learners permits, like, driving. And, like, people are walking. And they're-- yeah, it's scary. One of my best friends in high school, she was in the Bahamas and flipped a golf cart and had to be hella back to Florida. Oh, my God. She's done one year. She was-- yeah, it was, like, a horrible, horrible accident. You can tell her, mom's, because we're just, like, you get off those ebikes. Yeah, off the golf cart. Don't we get-- Get off the golf cart. And I'm the kind of mom work. Like, my kids, like, why can't I do that? My-- because you will die. Do you say that? Yeah. Because my daughter will literally go, mom, if I go in that pool without my life jacket on, will I die? And I'm like, yes. OK. So, yes, you will die. Like, don't fucking say that. I was going to die these days. I was having this conversation with my brother two days ago, because my mom did the same thing to us. Everything is, you will die. You will die. You will die before and outside, because you'll get kidnapped, and you'll die. Like, everything. Well, no, I paint a picture. I say, if you fall on the pool, then you might drown, because you don't know how to swim. If you drown, then you can't breathe, and then you could die. OK. I don't think that's any better. I appreciate a little bit of, like, the scientific explanation, but it still gets to the main thing. Still dying. So, my son now, like, for instance, the e-mikes, like, he'll be like, why can't I raise? And, like, it's hard, because I don't know what to say to him, because I, as a child, who was told they will die, do not want to tell my children they will die. Because, let me tell you, I think it's part of my anxiety today is I just think I'm always going to die. Wherever I go, the end is going to be bad. So, I was like, how do I communicate to him that things are not safe without being like, you're going to die, you're going to die, you're going to die. Because that's a lot for a four-year-old to wrap his head around. I think it depends on this scenario. I'm really-- you guys know me. I'm really intent about the pool. I don't mess around. I'm like, that is not something we goofed at. I don't blame you there. If it's, like, a bike with a helmet, like, I'll tell my kids, like, I hit a mailbox once, and I hurt-- I did. I hit a mailbox on my bike, and then I fell off the bike and smashed my head, had to go to the hospital. I'm like, you could just really hurt your head, and then you hurt your brain, and then you, like, then you might not even do this. I think you could just focus on the positive of, like, because it's mommy's drive to keep you safe. My kids are-- Why? Why? Why? Because my four-year-old has started to talk about death. Well, we've had death in our family, and we've had our two dogs have died. I've had a parent pass. So, they understand what death is. See, my son just started asking me, like, where's grandma? And I'm, like, trying to-- I'm like, oh, grandma's, and have never met her. He never met her. He never met her. So it's like-- That's different when they've met somebody who's passed away. Yeah. I think that they have a different perspective on, like, what death actually is. Yeah. So, like, for me, you're going to die. Like, he doesn't have-- Yeah. What does that mean? Yeah. And then what am I going to say, like, you're away forever? But here's the problem. My four-year-old who I've told-- yes, he will die. She's like, oh, well. And she just doesn't, anyway. So I don't think it's hurting. Yeah, I don't think it's effective. Unfortunately, she doesn't-- She's not a-- you know, when people say, like, they'll learn, like, she doesn't. That one doesn't learn. She just keeps doing it again and again, and she keeps getting hurt. And I think that's developmentally more-- Yeah, I'll tell it to you. But I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, come on. I mean, we did stuff like that in our 20s. Like, I think about things that are in my 20s where I'm like-- I should be dead. I should be dead. I should be 100%. Why wasn't I wearing a seatbelt? We didn't have Uber. You know, we were coming back from the Frash. Even when I wasn't in Uber. We were just putting our thumb out. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm in your 70s. Oh, gosh. By yourself? No, I was with another girl. Oh, my God. Talk about, like, the perfect scenario to just be, like, abduction. Abduction. Abduction. Milk cramps. Milk cramps. Milk cramps. Milk cramps. There should be a documentary on you on Netflix on you. Oh, my God. Like, I would do stuff like that all the time. Yeah. And I'd be back on it. And I'm like, oh, but the thought of my kids doing that makes my skin crawl. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. I guess you just have to let go. our parents when we were in college, they didn't know where we were. Like they don't, like, because now these parents though, like the parents down in the older generations have like 360, you know, this is and they're like obsessed with checking it and like, where's my child? I don't want that love. No, I don't want that. I want to give them some freedom and like life, like, I don't know, because I can tell you how fast they're going in their car. I can like tell you like, yeah. Well, actually, the negative of that is that it kind of prepares them to think a big brother or type simulation is normal. So, like, the government's watching everything they do. Like, this is getting really dark. Are you talking about AI? The last time I came in, I with our 80 HD, the table next to us, like, did you hear it? I did. They were talking about AI. They were talking about women's rights. They were talking about pride. They were talking about everything. What a robust conversation. It was a very diverse table. I loved it. It was, um, older people, younger, it was like, I was like, wow, the person's gay. There was a lot happening. It's like, what do you think is happening in New York? It felt like the most New York dinner I've seen in my whole life. It's like a new dream of New York. Like, that's what that. Yeah. The coming, the melting pot. I was like, wow, that table was like, can we also talk about the vibes of New York right now? Like, it's so good. It's just, I feel like for forever. It was like the Fox News of it all. Like, New York is a shit hole and it's burning and the people are mean and it's a horrible place and it's just like, New York is the vibe. It's so wonderful. The vibe is so hot. The vibes are up. It's so like and everywhere. Like, when I went on my long walk at 6 a.m. this morning saying hi to everybody waving, you know, like, well, did I say it to last night? I was like, I have never really felt scared walking around New York City even at night. I have felt scared in a rural area at a gas station. Uh, yeah. That is way scarier to me than being in a city. Yeah. Totally. I'm under time scary. I agree. Like, if I'm running out of gas and I'm in a dark area, I'm like, I'm going to die. That's how it ends. Yeah. It's changed some ask her. Oh my gosh. The gas station. But now I saw that video where that guy was like, if you're ever getting attacked at the gas station, just grab a pump and start spraying gas on people. She's going to rub the white gloves. - Two-landers, that's what happened to two-landers. - Yeah, but yeah, that's what I think a lot about gas stations. - We also talk a lot about like really negative things happening. - We do. - Like if an intruder comes in, if you're getting in touch. - So that's your thought, so it's been taking over. Maybe we should check ourselves out. - That's why we're just helping people prepare. - I mean, I have a bi-weekly meeting with my therapist. Yeah, I need to start that up. - I'm on weekly right now. - Oh wow. - You've upped it. - I think weekly for me would be a lot. I think twice a month feels to me. And I always get on, I don't know about you, I always get on and I'm like, things are fine, and then I start talking, and it's just like, - Ooh! - It's like things are not fine. - I found a new therapist who's close to home, which I love. - Okay, go in person. - I do a lot of MDR. - And I just really, it's not the same. - It's just not, and it's good. Like if that's all you can do, or like you're traveling, like it's better than nothing, but I do in person, and I do a lot of EMDR, and I'm processing to old trauma. - Oh, that's cool. - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm in person because I lie, and I need that. - I mean, I saw something where somebody was talking about how, they're like, "Why do I keep lying to AI?" - Yeah. - She was like, "I was trying to build a workout plan for like weightlifting, which like guys, like let's just use their brains, and maybe like-- - Or maybe a personal trainer. - A personal trainer. - But she was like, "I was using clot or whatever to build a workout plan." And then Claude said, "And I would work in this amount of cardio, and I gave her a cardio plan." And she responded and said, "I already do that." She said, "I don't do that. Why am I lying to Claude?" And she's like, "I could just tell it the truth," or just say, "Don't include cardio." But like, she's like, "Instead, I lie." - Well, when the robot take over happens, and they separate us all by who they're gonna attack, I want them to think, "I'm a fit one." - You know? - Yeah. - Like so true, it's like, you can't lie to your-- You shouldn't lie to your therapist. We don't need to be telling Claude. - It's a self-defense mechanism. - It's also like back to the people pleaser in me. Like, have you seen those memes where it's like, "My therapist writing something down, "and what I think she's writing." And then it's like, you scroll, and it's like, she's so funny. She doesn't need help. Oh my god, I love her. - Well, it's like, I want her to like-- - Yeah. - Yeah, like, I don't-- - I don't want her to lie. - You get your therapist to laugh. - There's a fryer, yeah. She's crying. - Yeah. - There's nothing better than making your therapist laugh. - Yes. - I don't know that I've ever made "Monla" by being honest with you, because it really is like a-- It's like a stream of consciousness. I just like, keep talking. And then like, sometimes she tries to talk to me, and my hold on, I'm not done yet. - Yeah, I gotta keep going, and then I crack a joke, and she kind of looks at me, the crooked head, and I'm like, oh no. - Oh, that one didn't land. - When don't you always feel like it didn't land. - You said that was fine. It sounded actually really traumatic. And I'm like, ah, well, now that you say it the bad way. - Yeah, not that you say it's traumatic. - I didn't think it was traumatic. - Traumatic's a strong word. - Yeah. - Like, it's subjective. I think it depends on all the trauma that came before this trauma. Just pile it on. I love her. I love my therapist. She's like, I don't know if she knows, speaking of female friendships. (laughing) - But she's like, one of my longest runs, she's not actually my best friend. She's my therapist. We have a professional relationship. But it's like, I've had her in my life for like 10 years. - That's amazing. - What's a therapist? - Oh, that's weird. - It is weird. - You kind of, you know, it's like, that like nobody wants that. - The Kristen, is that Kristen Bell? - Yeah. - Remember the sister? Like, she starts staying in the therapist? - Oh, yeah, she starts staying in the therapist. - Yeah. - He was a weird person. - Exactly. - You should never forget. - When he gets a good therapist, would never date. - It's a power, it's so yucky. - My new therapist is older and I love it. Like, I love an older, wiser woman. She's like, she's the wisdom. - Yeah, that's my older woman. - I love wisdom. - And I would probably never see a man. - No. - My friend doesn't, she loves it. She's like, I can't tell my daughter. - If I can't tell my daughter secrets to an older woman, you think I'm gonna tell her anything to a man. - And I think, at this point, I do think my, like, I had a younger therapist before. Who didn't have children. And I just feel like I needed someone who's like, - Oh, I-- - lived the postpartum experience. - That's like, I need that lived experience. - I think it depends what you're getting treated. Like, why you're seeking therapy. - Totally. - And like, if it's a specific reason and they have a specialty, that's great. If it's like, general therapy, then it's like, sometimes. Yeah. - Yeah. - I don't know. This took a turn, guys. - All right, well, we can talk about therapy forever. - What should we really believe in on this note? I mean, we have to go, but I mean, we do have to go say something positive. - Yeah, female friendships are amazing. - They are amazing. - And I love you guys. - Yeah, I don't, you two are very special in my life. - Oh, thanks. - I feel very lucky to be doing this with you. - Are you great? - Me too. - All right, well, we'll be back soon. - Okay. - All right. - I think that there was point that, bye! - Thank you so much for listening to the Just Us Girls podcast. We are so grateful that you chose to spend time with us today. If you love this episode, be sure to follow, like, subscribe, wherever you listen to podcasts, and don't forget to rate and review as well. We would appreciate it so, so much. Coming out with us on Instagram, at the Just Us Girls pod. And you can also find us on Substak, at the Just Us Girls pod.substak.com, where we share even more from each episode, a little behind the scenes, and all the good stuff you don't wanna miss. We can't wait to chat with you next week. Bye.