The Gap Between What You Want To Give and What’s Actually Sustainable (WWYBD?!)

Aorinko yllättää nopeasti? Suoja, Iho, sijooissa. Leydä sinulle sopivin Aorinko voida yliopiston apteekistä. Valikoidut Aorinkosuojat -20 % kantaan sijakkaille. Myös y aapiste fi. Hello, ja minkä oon tämän alas. Tämä on alas. Tämä on järjestelmässä, mikä on tämän alas. Tämä on tämän alas. Tämä on järjestelmässä, että on tämän alas. Tämä on järjestelmässä, mutta tämä on tämän alas. Tämä on tämän alas. Tämä on tämän alas. But it is a US brand and I saw online that they sell them at Target and Amazon. So if you want to post part of drink, I think they're great or if you are looking for a calming drink, they could also be great. I've been enjoying them before bed. So that has been a nice addition to the daily routine, moving into peaks of the week. Today's Friday. I'm pre-recording this because it is Mother's Day weekend. It'll be my first Mother's Day, so that's really special. I am teetering between being a control freak and having the whole weekend planned out and leading some room for clays to come up with activities. Like I said, I'm going to Pilates tomorrow with a friend. She's also a new mom with her new baby. babies aren't coming to Pilates, but we're going to the class together. And then tomorrow the weather looks really nice. So I want us to work on the garden. You know how after the winter, like your yard, it just needs some TLC. You got to get all of the dead leaves out. You need to scrub the floor and replant stuff. The rug that we had out here, we got to throw it away. It looks awful. So I just want to do some deep cleaning on the garden because we've been hanging out back here, but it's looking pretty dingy. So that is my big, well, plans for tomorrow afternoon. And then tomorrow night, there's this salsa festival at the beach. Yeah. We're going to have to play that by ear because it will depend how we feel taking that, taking a haze to a salsa festival. We have just got his sleep schedule and his nap schedule on lock. He has been sleeping beautifully. Clay and I have been getting more sleep. We've got this routine going that is making everyone healthy and happy and supporting our other goals. So it's like on one hand, it would be nice to not mess with it, but also you got to live a little. And this thing is only one time a year. Yeah, you're probably thinking you could get a sitter. We could. I don't want to do that. My mom did actually book a ticket. She's coming to visit us at the end of the month. So that will be Clay and I's first opportunity to go have a date with just him and I. So we'll save that for another time. But ideally tomorrow we'll make it to a little bit of the salsa festival, just the people watching. That will be so fun. And then Sunday I have left the whole day up until 4 p.m. open. I have a cacao ceremony booked up for I go to that almost every Sunday. I really just find it to be the most grounding way to end the weekend and shift back into work mode for Monday. If you're not familiar with cacao, it's supposed to be a heart opener. So it's a good way for me to process the weekend and feel grateful and loving. I went last week and afterwards I literally felt like I was high. I was talking to this elderly woman that was the class. My name is Rose. She was so sweet. She was a Dutch lady and we were just standing outside in the sun and she just kept saying the sweetest thing that we said by. She was like, "Have a beautiful life." I was like, "Yeah, you too." So the cacao had definitely overtaken us because we were being very zen and lovy-dovey standing out there. It was great. I highly recommend finding a cacao ceremony in your area if some place offers that. Now, let's start next week. Hannah said, "Book to Trip to Spain. I'm going to see the full eclipse in August." That sounds incredible. As we are over here, I might have to look into where we could go outside. If I need to go all the way up to Spain or if that will be visible here, that sounds super cool. Congrats. Hannah said, "Spending a week and a half in Costa Rica on a yoga retreat, I know Lindley and that's very on-brand and I hope you had the best time." Madison said, "Warm weather. Me too, girl. This warm weather is pouring energy and life back into my body. I love it. I hope you guys are feeling the same way." This is usually where I would say, "If you want to submit a peek of the week, follow us on Instagram and we post that story box every Monday. But with the podcast coming to an end, peeks of the week are also coming to an end. If you are looking forward to my new solo show, I don't know what segment I'm going to do. I don't want to copy everything we've done with our friends. I want it to be its own new solo show, but I also think there's some element of already friends that were really nice. So I'm trying to think on something similar to peek of the week where we're expressing gratitude and reflecting on something great that happened in our lives because I think it's such a nice thing to do for the head and the heart each week to check in with yourself. It's fun reading your guys' hearing what's up in your world. The concept of it might not be coming to a full-stopping halt. It will just be transforming in a way. Now this brings us to what would your best-to-do questions. They are a little longer. So bear with me, okay, the first listener submitted question. They said, "I also love broad. I'm going home to America for two weeks and while I'm thankful that I will have two weeks to spend, I'm also so overwhelmed every time that I'm home that it makes me not want to come back honestly. I feel like I could never make people happy and balancing time with friends and family. It feels like no matter how I plan my schedule, I'm home. It's never good enough and I feel so stretched to end between wanting to see lots of different friends and family members and a short time span that I have because I'm also so working full-time that I'm going home." I'll take a couple days off here and there, but for the most part, I'm limited to seeing people after work during the two weeks that I'm back. What advice do you have for going home and trying to balance this? Do I just need to be more realistic about seeing a lot of people only one time or do I need to start really narrowing down who I spend my time with when I'm home? It's so hard because I feel like I'm disappointing people when I'm only able to have one dinner with them because I'm already having my visit scheduled to the max to try and see everyone I love and care about and I only come home once a year. Thanks for the advice and advance. I'm pretty sure I wrote this. Literally I feel like I have the exact same issue that I could have written this exact paragraph and sent it into another podcast. I am totally with you. I feel this to my core. This is the hardest part about living abroad because you still love everyone back home, but when you can't make it back to your hometown all that often, the things that you need to accomplish when you go back to that hometown all get smushed into this really tiny window. Even if you're listening and you don't relate to this at all, just know that the over-romanticized and over-glamourized life of living abroad, that this is one major drawback that is actually so stressful and makes me feel so horrible and guilty all the time. So I really, really, this hits me deep. How I've tried to combat it, I literally scheduled a week into one hour time box and I know that's so insane. But as you do, I'm working when I go back to Omaha because I have my store. So the actual windows of time of leisure to see people is not that much. And so I have to really be honest with myself like, okay, if I want to see 50 people while I'm back, but I have 12 hours of time, well, probably not going to be able to see all 50 people. So how do I prioritize who I see? Who did I get to connect with last time? Are those all people I'm going to see again? Or am I going to try to see some people that I didn't get to see last time? It is always this puzzle trying to fit everything together. But a few things I've done that makes me more people possible is putting something out. It's like, hey, I'm going to be at this place at this day and time for this window. Feel free to stop by. It feels like it's a really good way to see people that are not in your immediate inner circle. But people that you still like and that you care about and want to see. But let's say it's a coffee shop or like a brewery, some like more open public area. Then that way they can pop by for half an hour or something. You guys get to catch up. They might know other people there. It becomes like this fun kind of candid thing. And even though it's not the intimate one on one time that you would probably hope for, but it is better than nothing because it's a couple of years past and you it was either don't see these equateances at all or do it in this kind of impromptu just come meet me here away. It's better than nothing. I think that also kind of works for your workout classes. If you do like to work out while you're back in your hometown, since I have class pass and it is global, my same class pass account works, whether I'm back in the States or whether I'm here in Europe. And so usually all book a bunch of classes for the week and then send it out to people that I would love to see. I've even gone so far as putting it on my Instagram story being like, Hey, back in home off for the week, here's my schedule of classes I'm going to would love to see you if you come by. And I'm always surprised by the people that end up coming and I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is so great. Like I would have loved to have seen you, but wouldn't have probably been able to carve out this high and feel like an intimate one on one dinner with them. So that's a really helpful way to also kill multiple versus one stone because you're getting your workout in. You're seeing multiple people. It's fun. It's socializing and can help you feel like you're still in your own routine a little bit getting some stuff. care in. And then yes, unfortunately I do think that you will have to be more selective. If you think about in the time that you've been gone, if there are people that haven't reached out or you've lost contact with, but then when you come back into town they reach out. Those are the situations where I'm less inclined to go out of my way to make time and space for that person because it's like, well, yeah, but I also want to see people who I've been keeping in contact with the whole time I've been abroad. My immediate family members, clays family, my best friends, the gals at the shop, people that I've known for years, they're going to be my priority. And it's not personal. It's not that I dislike some other people that are more, I don't want to say on the perfills, but just right outside your immediate inner circle that if they haven't been an active part of your life, a sent you've moved abroad, then I don't think you should feel too guilty or stressed if you don't end up being able to see them. And then lasting on this note, because I know the planning of it can feel overwhelming, I try to use the travel day and all by Wi-Fi on the flight to do the scheduling and literally put things in my Google calendar. And then that way when I'm in those moments hanging out with people, I can be like, "Oh my gosh, this was so great. I really enjoyed catching up. It was so good to see you, but I do have to go to whatever your next thing is." When I first moved abroad, I felt like I would totally over-lingor in situations. And then my trip would be over. And I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I hardly saw anyone because I ended up staying at this person's house for five hours because we're having a great time." And yeah, the hours just melted away, but in that moment, it can be so beautiful, but if your priority is to try to see as many people that you love and care about as you can, I think being diligent and mindful about the time so that you can squeeze everything that you care about in. And yeah, an unfortunate reality is I think you'll just never feel like you're giving enough, but that is what it is. I feel the exact same way. All right, question number two. How do you balance budgeting when your income fluctuates each month as a business owner? My immediate thought is to diversify nearly the entire time I've been a business owner. I've had some sort of freelance project going on in the background, whether it's managing a social media accounts for someone, photography, I used to run this ladies blog. I've done graphic design projects. I've currently been doing Airbnb property management for like the last year. I've designed people's websites. I had that lemonade partnership for two years. I think I ended that last year, but pretty much since I first opened new way in 2020, there's always some extra thing going on in the background that's likely more of a consistent income. Now, I'll say outwardly that these freelance projects don't add up to be all that much, but for me, I think it's a nice safety net that it's like, well, that's the income I always know I can count on. And then that way, with your own business, as things fluctuate, you don't have like 100% of your income relying on it because if I've learned anything from being a business owner, you will always have up and downs in your business throughout the seasons throughout the years. So I do try to live below my means as much as possible. And then even if the business is having a better month that doesn't necessarily mean spend more, I think it's important to save that for when the inevitable dip will come. And I think there's a lot of ways to be thrifty that are actually really fun. And honestly, like more sustainable, more rewarding, we just live in such a consumption culture that it's me to think that we need so much more than we really do. But there are so many free things, especially when the weather's getting nicer, that you can do that don't cost any money or cost very little. And I also would give the advice that you don't have to reinvest so much of your earnings back into the business right away. If you need them for a living, the upgrades can come in time. I think when you first start off being a business owner, it's so exciting to be like, okay, well, I want to upgrade this and change this and bring on this other person and like go, go, go, go to elevate your business. And while that totally works for some people, that rocket ship grows, like the sky is the limit, I totally admire that. But that is just not healthy for a minor business system. And I'm under the belief that like if the owner is not doing well, it's going to be really hard for the businesses, health to do well. So for me, I would rather build on a slower pace that feels doable and sustainable and healthy for everyone involved. And that means that maybe the upgrades don't happen as quickly. And maybe it's not always the coolest and the latest and the greatest. And maybe there are some DIY things where the social media could be better, whatever. But don't feel pressured to do everything all at once. Like you're allowed to take earnings for yourself to keep your family and yourself cared for. Hips, huh? Katosu, Taskun, this is it. Okay. All right, question number three. I have a small group of college friends I still keep in touch with, even though all of us live in different places. Among our group chats on socials and texts, me and another friend are the most chatting active. One other person sometimes pops in and another rarely, if ever. We've never fall to them for it because we all understand how busy life can be. But the one who rarely ever speaks up and hasn't talked or even acknowledged that me and my long-term boyfriend of five plus years broke up almost two months ago. She's rarely on her phone, so she missed a ton of messages and notifications. Anyway, including the few that I've dropped in our group chat to break the news and then talk about how I've been doing since then. But still, it's been two months and my feelings are hurt that she hasn't even realized. I don't think it's intentional because she does pop up randomly to respond to some messages. But still, I feel like she honestly won't notice until more time has passed. And at this point, the more time that passes, the more her I am. What would your bestie do? Well, first of all, I'm really sorry that you're going through this breakup. A long-term relationship ending is really hard because your lives are so integrated together. They're if you're living together, they're your roommate, they're your best friend, they're someone who you soft-tuture with. It can just make everything and all of your emotions feel heightened right now. So I do think that it's common for most people that when they're going through a breakup, they can feel a little bit more lonely, more vulnerable and then tend to lean heavier on the other people around them, whether that's family members or friends. And so I think that in this time, when you're wanting her support, you're noticing even more that she hasn't reached out and given you the support during this breakup that you were hoping for. Because in the first part of your message, you gave this person a lot of benefit of the doubt by saying, "You know they're busy, you know they're not on their phone, you know it's probably not intentional." So when you weren't going through something hard in your own life, it didn't bother you as much that this person wasn't always checking in. But now, you're wishing that they would step up and do that for you, which 100%, you're very valid, your friends should support you going through hard times. Now I'm going to give a little bit of maybe her side of the story and that if she is missing a lot of messages and notifications, like you said, she might not even know, but she might also be really busy in her own life and that's why she doesn't read all of the messages or check the notifications because she might have something in her own life that she was experiencing. Maybe she's going through something herself. Maybe there's some big change and she just doesn't have the capacity to keep up with the group texts. I personally relate to that. I'm in a few group messages and I just have them muted and like maybe once every couple of weeks all like open it and read a couple that are above the current moment. But I will never go back and read everything that's happened and I just have never been a good group text or like that. So for me, I would rather catch up with someone one-on-one if possible. So my suggestion would be reaching out to her separately depending on your relationship, whatever feels appropriate and just kind of like touch base first. Whether the text says like, hey, you know, like thinking of you would love to catch up. Maybe we could jump on a call or a face time or if that feels like too awkward right now after the space, you could just send a voice memo. Like something quick two, three minutes saying that you're thinking about them and hope they're doing well. You don't even have to make it heavy and give the details of the breakup. But just opening that conversation up will probably make it easier for the spread to then reply. or jump on a call and then you guys can talk about the big updates in your life and that will help you get more insight into what's going on in this their world because before jumping to any assumptions about what's going on in their life of why they aren't replying, maybe you'll have more insight to that. I actually got a message a couple days ago from this gal that I had met traveling a couple years ago and don't get me wrong, we had like a fun day when we had met traveling, we like went out dancing and went to the rooftop pool, but I have met hundreds and hundreds of people in a similar token of exchange where we met traveling, we had a fun moment activity that we shared together and then we both moved on with our lives and either we never talked again or maybe we keep up and like each other's post on Instagram a little bit, but in most of these situations there hasn't been like regular on going upkeep of communication. Well this person messaged me saying that they felt really hurt that we lost contact and I was honestly like pretty blindsided by it because I was like oh I wasn't under the expectation that we were keeping contact because I didn't from my side I didn't know that we would ever see each other again, it's not that I didn't want to see them again, but I've been to almost 30 countries, I have backpacked Europe, South America, I mean hundreds of thousands of customers at the store, like my brain truly cannot hold space for all of these people, there's no possible way. And so I have just been sitting with that of feeling really bad that this person feels hurt by the space that I've created, but I wasn't aware that they wanted more from me, I guess if it's what I'm trying to say. And so of course with your college friend you guys were really close at one time, but as they've slowly distanced themselves from the chat, they may just have a different expectation about what support and keeping connected feels like because I'm not saying you valued the relationship more and that they don't value your guys' friendship anymore, but they might be more invested in whatever is happening in their life now, their friendships, their work, whatever, and slowly, unintentionally, less love is going to your guys' group chat. And I think that is kind of natural as we get older, our circles do become smaller, it has to because of the there's not enough time to give that to everyone. So in summary, my advice would be to reach out separately just to touch base, see how that goes, played out, and then to also invest more of your own energy into friendships and people in your city who can actually be there to support you, who you can go hang out with in a real tangible way. And I think that will just feel much more nourishing and rewarding to be with people in person during this tough time that you're going through. And again, I'm so sorry about that and just know there's always a light at the end of this tunnel and even though this feels heavy and deep right now, you're strong and you're going to get through it. All right, in the fourth question, how do you stay so consistent with your aesthetic? I'm constantly inspired by different vibes and I really struggle to keep my brand on one path. This often then catapults into wanting to start multiple brands so I can explore all of them, but then I get overwhelmed with an unrealistic amount of ideas. Well, first of all, thank you for thinking that I'm consistent with my aesthetic because I do totally relate. I think it's so fun to change things up and try different things. And I also feel like because of social media and Pinterest, we have a lens into all of these different lifestyles and aesthetics that people wouldn't have had previously and because everyone is promoting their own lifestyle, it can also seem so enticing and so over-remantisized and it makes you want to give it a try. So my thought is maybe with your brands and businesses, you could niche your focus in. Like a business is going to make more money the more of like a focus that actually has like who's its customers, what does it have to offer? That needs to be somewhat narrowed down to compete in this crazy marketplace, but you yourself can try on anything, try it on for size. How does it feel? You can explore this in your personal life in so many different ways through your wardrobe, through makeup, through home decor hobbies. Then you can give yourself permission to try these things without as much weight having to be on them for it to succeed. You can try it aesthetic or style and be like, "Eh, that was kind of fun, wasn't for me." Because I think in time you will start to feel like, "Okay, yeah, this one feels really me to the point where you don't even have to try. You don't even have to look up inspiration about it. You will just feel like, "Oh, yeah, this is my authentic personal style." And then also know that your personal style is going to be a blend. For me, being from Nebraska, I still love a little bit of Yeehan Western in my life. I'm never giving up my cowboy boots or my trucker hat or my overalls. I just, I love that side of me. I don't wear it all the time, but a hint of that is always going to be present in my wardrobe and in my home decor. But I also love linen and flowy fabrics and natural materials, macromé, wicker. And so there's an element of boho that comes through from that. But then I've also always been a bit of a tomboy. And so none of my looks are going to be super feminine because I don't feel comfortable being super, super girly. I just, if I like get my hair and makeup all done and I'm wearing like a really girly dress with heels, I feel like crawling out of my skin. I'm like, this is just not me. And it's not about not being in touch with my femininity because I could wear like a sexy pair of jeans and a silk top and have my hair curled. And to me, that will make me feel way more like myself. So I think try it on in your personal life as much as you want. And the more you do so, the more you'll be able to weed out what isn't, isn't for you. And then try to keep your business brands going in one direction. And that brings us to the fifth and final question. They said, "What routines have you implemented to keep you on track managing your businesses, motherhood, self, and time with your partner? What does a typical day look like? Do you ever struggle to show up?" This is such a good question. And I'm not going to try to overly plug and promote when you podcast. But I think this is definitely going to be a theme that I'm going to be exploring a lot because it's just so related to my life right now. But the immediate thought that comes to mind is that you have to ruthlessly continue adjusting things. And this is because the baby's needs are always changing as they grow. You get into one routine and one rhythm. And then it's like, "Okay, I think we got this. We figured it out." And then boom, something else comes and you have to change it up. So I think it's important not to get too attached to whatever is working because as the baby gets older, what worked at one point isn't going to work anymore. And so you just have to fine tune and adjust and adjust for our days. You ask what does a typical day look like for Clay and I. Most mornings I get up with Hayes when he wakes up. I feed him, I make a coffee, maybe do a couple chores around the house. I have a small snack, like usually a couple protein bites. I can put my recipe on my, in the links I have it on my website. Those are life-staging because as I'm like feeding him and getting everyone ready for the day, I don't have time in that moment to make like a proper breakfast because Peach just gets antsy. We all get antsy. We just need to get out of the house. So we go for a walk and then we come back from the walk. Then I make a proper breakfast. And during that morning routine that I have with Hayes and Peach is clay ghost of the gym. He gets his workout in. Then he comes back, he showers and then gets Hayes, oh, and I get back up but Hayes down for nap. And I go to my workout. And so Clay and I switch in and out while I'm gone. Clay usually cooks a slunch and we have that together. And then he's on calls the rest of the afternoon. And then I'm with Hayes and Peach's. I try to work if I can while he's napping. But otherwise we're doing errands, chores. I'm reading to him, Tommy time, Florida time, all baby stuff. And then in the evening, something that's been working really well for us right now is Clay and I are switching on and off with the evening routine. So on one day, all cook dinner and then clean up dinner and then work league while he does bedtime. And then we switch, clay cooks, clay cleans up and I do bedtime and he works late. And that feels really sustainable for us because we both like to work. We both like to be actively involved in Hayes's life and we both like to cook. So then it doesn't feel like burned out to nice balance. But we literally discuss through teen like every day we have a shared Google calendar and everything is on the Google calendar. So I'm on the Google calendar doesn't exist. And we are very proactive in our communication about the day and checking in to make sure each person gets their workout in. It's not to be a full workout even if you go to a in class or a cacao, but making sure you get some alone time. And then each person gets work time and then each person gets time with Hayes. So So that is how that balance is going really well for us. And you asked if I ever struggled to show up. I mean, sometimes of course, but I actually think that as a new parent being so present with Hayes and having to be such a better steward of my time, it's actually really helped me stop overthinking and just do because I'm present in this moment and then I have to get this done at this moment because either the baby is going to wake up or he needs to feed or he needs to go to sleep. And so feeling like I just got to do what's in front of me has created this nice momentum that I actually think once you're in that routine and you're moving forward, it's even easier than it was pre-motherhood, honestly. So just know that it's never going to be perfect. I love the quote, "done is perfect." So it's be realistic about what works for you. Keep your expectations low and reframe your sheds you list as a wish list. If you happen to get it done, create, but you're probably never going to get it all done. And that is a okay. Well thank you guys so much for hanging out with me today. It's 255 and Clay needs the office shed for his 3 o'clock calls. So I'm going back in or switching in and out, but it was fun to hang with you guys today. Like I said, last episode is next week. So send in a goodbye message so that we can say farewell to already friends together. Love you guys. Talk to you next week. Bye.