The Future-Me Standard | A Salesgirl Series (1 of 7)

Your life, it doesn't rise to the level of your goals. It settles to the level of your standards. So I want you to think about your standards as your baseline, okay? It's where your body, your brain, and your behavior just naturally return to you. It's where it's most comfortable. And if you never change your baseline, you're always going to drift right back to that original standard. No matter what has motivated you in that moment. So you can think about it like a thermostat. If a thermostat is set to 68 degrees, you can light a fire in the room, and the room will warm up, but eventually the fire will die down, and the room will get right back to 68 degrees, 'cause that's home base. This is kind of like yo-yo dieting potentially. Like this is why people sometimes lose a bunch of weight, and then a little time goes by, and they ultimately end up right back where they left off, or maybe they make a bunch of money, or they win the lottery, but their standards ever changed. Their baseline never changed, and so they end up eventually, with the same amount of money they've always had. So your standards, like I said, they're like the thermostat, and goals can be like the fire, right? It sets the fire, it motivates you, it excites you, but over time, if you don't change your standards, you're gonna get right back to where you've always been. Really focusing on changing your standards, that's what will change your life, because they hold. They hold when will power gets really tired, when motivation fades, when your state starts to change, and also when pressure rises. And this, my friend, is how you become a woman of excellence. So my definition of excellence is doing the best you can with whatever it is that you have. It's intention, it's self-respect, it's how you speak to yourself, it's how you show up, it's how you take action, it's how you finish things. Excellence isn't necessarily about doing more, it is about caring more. When a woman lives with excellence, she ultimately creates a sense of safety for people around her, she becomes very, very predictable, and it's in the best way. And people can feel that, right? They know when they approach her, when they ask her a question, when they ask something of her, they know how it's gonna be done, when it's gonna be done, and that it's gonna be done well and on time, and people wanna be around that. I want you to think about college, and when you registered for classes, I know for me, the first thing I would do is, I would get on ratemyprofessor.com. I wouldn't think about what subject I necessarily wanted to get if I could have a choice on what subject I wanted, but sometimes I would actually find the professor I wanted first, then see what class they were teaching, and take the class based on the professor. So the same is in business. People don't necessarily buy from you because of your offer, or because of the thing that you do, or because of the program that you have, they buy from you because you represent who they wanna become. You represent a level of excellence that they desire to have, and they feel like you can pull them in the direction that they ultimately wanna go into. So over the next few videos, we are going to reset our standards together through a series called the Sales Girl Standard Series, and you're gonna learn seven new standards to live by that's going to raise that baseline, and ultimately help you create a completely different life. Here are the seven standards, the future me standard, the story I tell myself standard, how I show up standard, the creation standard, the conversation standard, massive action standard, and lastly, the get it done standard. Because my friends, when you raise your standards, everything else in life will meet you there. Today we are gonna get started with the future me standard, so sit down, get ready, get your pen and paper out, to take notes. I highly recommend if you're listening to this on the podcast, to jump over here on YouTube so that you can see the images and the pictures and really engage all your learning capabilities, so it can really absorb into your mind. Make sure you comment below your biggest takeaway, and let's get started. All right, so most people think, okay, if I could just have more money, if I could just have more time, if I could just have less weight on my body, if I could just be thin. Then I would what? Be happy, be confident, love my life, but that is simply not how it works. And here's why, okay, ready? Identity, proceeds, behavior, and behavior for these outcome. Okay, so who you are, here's you, sales girl. Who you are determines what you do, you do your hands, which ultimately determines your world. The experience that experiences that you have. Stephen Covey says, change who you are and everything else will follow. Change who you are and everything else will follow. Now, I have heard a lot of different people explain this in different ways, and it really didn't click for me until I experienced the life coach school, which is Brook Castillo's life coaching model. And what I wanna do today is I wanna show you this life coaching model and I'm also gonna show you how you can apply it to be able to raise your future self standards. Does that sound good? Okay, how many of you've heard of Brook Castillo? Okay, so probably a lot of you know her model and I actually was talking to one of my friends, she's entrepreneur, I would like you really should consider some sort of like coaching certification for what she does and she was like, oh, I already do it. She's like, I know the model, C-T-F-A-R, I don't need that. And I know it is so, because it is so simple, I thought that for a long time too. It's so simple, it's just, we get it. But there are so many nuances to it that I'm hoping we'll bring to life for you in a new way today and it will really help you change your life. Okay, so in Brook Castillo's model, we have circumstances which are the things that happen in the world. These are things that everyone can agree on. Who can agree on it? Everyone. So can everyone agree that today is a beautiful day? See, y'all we think in that thoughts are circling. Can everyone court like law? It is a beautiful day, law. You can't, you can't like someone can experience, have terrible memories of being extremely sunburned as a child and so now they see son and they're like it's the worst. I hate the sun. Right? But can we all law agree that today is Wednesday in Alfredo Georgia? Is that a circumstance? Yes, we can all agree upon that. So a lot of people, what they think is that they experience all these circumstances that are so hard on them in their life, but it's actually not a circumstance, is their thought about the circumstance. Okay, so the law, what's the temperature right now? Can someone tell me? Whether, let's see, it is 80 degrees. That is a circumstance. Now, what is your thought Susan about it being 80 degrees? It's hot, okay. What is your thought from Florida? It's not hot, okay. So two people have different thoughts about the same circumstances. Now, the thoughts that you have create feelings in your body. So it's not the fact that it's 80 degrees that creates a feeling. It's the thought that creates a feeling. So when you're saying that's hot, what do you feel? Okay, you feel warm? Or do you feel dread? Like, I don't want to sweat. Okay, so she feels dread, but someone might say that's hot, yay, give me my bikini. Right? Well, you say it's not that hot, how do you feel? Well, you're really not that hot. Yeah, how do you feel? What's the emotion you feel when you think? It's not that hot. Exciting, I don't wanna go out. Cool, excited, amazing. Okay, so those feelings, they create an action or an inaction. So a great question to ask yourself is, what am I doing from a feeling, but also what am I not doing? What that will reveal to you is some things that you should be doing and you know you should be doing, but you know that you're not doing it. And then we have the results that are created from the actions. Okay, so this is Brokissio as well. She says there's five things in the world. And whatever is happening to you in your life, you can plug it into a model. You can start with a result and back into it and think, okay, what is the emotion that's causing me to act this way, which is causing me to get this result? And what is the thought? This great, so this model right here is how you can discover why you're getting certain results in your life or why you're not getting certain results in your life. Now, we just experienced this right here. How two people experience the same circumstance, but then they get a different thought and feeling. I wanna show you how this is the case, or excuse me, why this is the case, and then also I want you to apply it to your prospects. So when you're thinking about talking to people, and you're like, why don't they do they think like this? How is it possible that they have a thought, like that's crazy, this is how, okay? So someone experiences a circumstance and then they have a kind of like a guard in their brain. In this guard, it protects their brain. It deletes, distorts and generalizes information. And this is so, Your conscious brain doesn't have to process everything. So how many of you have looked for your sunglasses and they were on your head the whole time? That's your guard deleting that information. Say, hey, you don't need to carry that information. Like, let go of it so that you can focus on other things. Okay? Another thing is generalize. I saw a truck. What kind of truck? I can't remember. I just know it was a truck versus I saw a red 2001 F-150 with these, like, your brain doesn't take that in. And then it also distorts. Have you ever been in a situation where someone's like, she yelled at me. And the person that you're like, hey, did you yell or is? And you're like, no, it was actually just really loud outside. And so I had to raise my voice and now she thinks, so we distort what actually happened because you have a guard in your brain that is trying to protect you. Okay? So once you experience the circumstance, your guard is developed through these things right here. Okay? To experience a circumstance, here are the things that affect your guard, time or location. So if you get a phone call at 2 p.m., what do you think? Just a phone call, right? If you get a phone call at 2 a.m., what do you think? Something's wrong, right? Okay, so that affects your guard and your brain. You're moot. If someone just got a promotion and they experienced a circumstance, they might take it a lot differently than if they had a car wreck and they experienced that same circumstance. It's gonna affect them differently, yeah? Okay, beliefs and/or decisions, this is important. Your beliefs start as decisions. So if someone, like, for example, if someone has a belief making money is hard or you believe making money is hard, you could ask yourself, okay, when did I decide that? What are we looking for? We're looking for a circumstance that's causing you to believe that making money is hard. You make decisions from beliefs. So here's an example, ready? I'm going to be a teacher decision because I believe that making money is hard. So think about this. When people are coming to you and they have objections, they have things that are kind of in the way of making them buy, this is a really good thing to know. 'Cause if you're trying to break their belief, it helps to know where it's coming from because they might be carrying a story that isn't true and they need help having a new story to replace it but you need to know where that story came from, okay? Another example is identity. I am statements so people who start with like, I am a mom or like, I'm a, like some people would describe themselves as a mom. That's an entrepreneur and some people describe themselves as an entrepreneur, that's a mom. And the way that they make decisions is going to be affected by how they see themselves, their identity, really important. That, or excuse me, memories, past experiences. How many of you who sell investments, people say, well, my last investment, X, Y, and Z, and it's affecting the way that they think about investments now because of the past memory that they have, values. So what's important to them? So think, this is how people make decisions on autopilot. If someone values, for example, let's say someone values being fully supported in their entrepreneurial journey. Okay, how many of you started your entrepreneur journey and that was not the case at all? In fact, yeah, you saw that all these people were gonna support you and they didn't and you're like, what's going on? And so since they don't all support you, you don't actually do anything because you value that. So now if you're in sales, you wanna switch their value to, you know, I go first. I get to show people that I love what's possible to help them see a circumstance of not being supported in a new way, in a reframe. So that's another example. Language by guys, by the way, this is why in sales experiences, I always try to make it a back and forth experience. Like I do a coaching session before the challenge. I wanna hear how they talk. I wanna hear when they say, but or actually, although, all those little sentences and all those little tones, tell me how they think about themselves. It shows me what is their subconscious filtering out. And then capabilities like skill sets, but also tribal narratives are really important. These are stories from friends, families, culture, religious, racial or gender specific ideas. So I love to tell the story. Like if someone really identifies with the tribal narrative, that they are Italian and you're a health coach and you're like, hey, we're gonna cut out gluten. And they're like, and you're like, it's not that big of a deal. Like let's just have some veggies. We can just have some spaghetti squash. Instead of spaghetti noodles, you don't understand Italian. And to them, they're subconscious in their brain and they're the guard of their brain is like, red alert, red alert, red alert. This is questioning who you are as a person. So this filtration system is what creates their perspective. It is what creates their thoughts. So every time someone has a sentence and do you ever experience people having a sentence and you're like, why would you think that? I know some car drivers back there, you're like, you use medication for that? What's going on here? But instead of being like, how could you think that? I want you to think, where could this be coming from? What beliefs do they have? What kind of mood are they in? How do they identify? What is their past memories? What are some things that they said? What do they value? What are some, what are, where are things coming from? Because then that will create their feelings in their body, their action and ultimately their results. Now, how many of you have heard of B2 have before? Can you just wait, maybe you've heard it? Yeah. So B2 have is Ziggs Ziggler. And I remember hearing B2 have, it's honestly this right here, right B? Do have. I remember hearing this and thinking, what does that even mean? Did you ever think that before when you first heard it? Ziggs Ziggler says you have to be who you want to be and then do what you do so you can have whatever you want to have? And I'm just like, what is that even mean? And I thought about it for so long. In fact, by the way, this is a little life hack when you don't understand something, make yourself teach on it. So this is something that my dad actually had in his program at the time, is this B2 have model and I did not understand. I'm like, what does it mean to be? What do you mean be? I couldn't remember that. And so I just decided I was gonna teach that concept because you definitely can't teach something if you don't understand it. So I went on a absolute witch hunt to figure out what does B do have mean. And it really clicked for me when I understood the model and I aligned it with B2 have. So I'm gonna show you exactly what this looks like. So here is B2 have with the model. Okay, many people want to have all the things that they want to have. We talked about risk and reward today. The risk-reward relationship reward is what are some things I want to have? Second home, vacations, yell it out to me. New car, time freedom, what else? You don't want nothing? House cleaner, okay, cool. We want to have all these things, which is amazing. But we can't start with a half. We first must go with the do. So do with the model reflects the actions. Okay, so results, reflect the half, do, reflect the actions. So then let's go to the B. What is B? If you put in X to the model, B is your thoughts. Literally that's all that it is. Who you are, the B and B do have is your thoughts. That's all it is. Because when you were being someone else, when you were thinking something else, you have a different feeling, you have a different action, which ultimately creates your results. Okay, I wanna show you another example of this really quick. I think I might have missed, oh yeah, I wanna give you an example. So I want you to imagine, so I'm gonna do C to worth it. I promise. Okay, so we have C, T, F, A, R. This is one person right here. And then we're gonna do another one, which was remember circumstance, thoughts, feelings, actions, results. Here's the other person right here. Okay, two people experience a dog. I'm gonna draw a little puppy. They see a little puppy. Okay, one person runs the other direction. The other person runs towards it. Okay, let's say that this person who runs the other direction has the thought, oh my gosh, dogs are unpredictable, which makes them feel what, what's in a motion, they might feel from that. My feel scared. And they run the other direction, which creates a result of them creating an unpredictable relationship with dogs. Why? Because they don't even give it a consistent try. So they are actually creating the result of having an unpredictable relationship, dogs by believing the dogs are unpredictable. I know this feels really simple, but stay with me because this is huge. Okay, so this person runs towards the dogs. They think, I love dogs. Dogs are so sweet, they feel excited. which means they create a loving relationship with dogs. Okay, so their result reflects their thought. So what I'm trying to show you is, okay, if we want to experience a different result by experiencing, we have the same exact circumstance, we have a different result. Where is it different? The thought. Being a different person creates a completely different result by thinking you different thoughts. So when you first learn this, you're like, shoot, this is easy. Yeah? Like all I have to do, like if I just want $20 million, I just have to figure out what that person is thinking who makes $20 million, and just think that thought and I get $20 million. Why don't you tell me this? This is like kindergarten stuff right here. I wish it was that simple, my friend, but it's simply just not that simple. Okay, so what I want to show you is how you can truly become a future person, you know, your future self with a totally different result, but you have to experience it in a completely different way than what you're thinking about. And it's not fun, it's not enjoyable, but it's so worth it. Are you ready? If you're ready, say I'm ready. Okay, so I want you to look at this right here. This is your current self, and your current self has a filtration system right now, right? It has a current set of belief system. I'm going to give you also an example in a second. A belief system, identity, tribal narratives, that it is holding. And that is what it's creating the thought, right? So it's not you just having the thought, you have a filtration system that's creating the thought in your future in your current self right now. This is your future self. Your future self has a completely different filtration system, completely different. Like this is why when we say, hey, we have to break beliefs. It's not that simple. It's just changing the thought. You can't just have a thought. You have to believe the thought. And so you have to look for right now. A lot of you have a lot of evidence for whatever it is that you believe. And so the work comes into finding evidence for a different belief than other people have. Now remember, this filtration system comes from these things right here. Okay. People, you all write this down. People will fight for their current belief system, more than they fight for their future. Can I get an amen for that? Like I have people that come and get coaching and I offer coaching, I offer new belief, and they fight me so hard to keep their current belief. Well, listen, babe, keep it. That's fine. That's fine. You can keep whatever you want. I'm just saying, my belief system has me having my results and your belief system has you having your results. So you can decide what result that you want. But just know what I'm offering you is a possibility to have a different result. It's totally up to you. Do you all want to know an example of a belief that I had to break recently? Yeah. So I don't even think I realized I had this belief. But I thought that I think I believed that in order for other people to transform more, I had to work so much harder. And I fought tooth and nail to be able to make other people transform. Maybe some of you see that in my work, like all my pictures and all my, like, that's the result, all my textbook and my workbook and giving this slide just right. And like, if they could just see this, they could just understand that they could just experience it. Then they'll win. They'll win. They'll win. That was like my belief, right? Well, we just did our mass run event, which I've been telling you guys about, which is to make me care of it. And when I say it was the easiest work that I had ever done and it was the biggest results that I've ever seen someone have, I couldn't believe it. So I had to break the belief that I had to work harder for other people to give results. My new belief is, oh, I just create environments for people to get results. Because I made all of them come with the work already pre-done because they had to remember we talked, they'd prepare, rehearse, and then they had an environment to do a practice. And that's where the transformation happened. It's not in the work that I did is the environment and the framework that they give them for them to do. And I'm telling you that unlocks something in me. I didn't even know I had that belief until I experienced it the other way. But that was a huge breakthrough for me to get from a current version of myself to a future version of myself. Okay, let's do another one. Identity. So this is why we have the identity of the sales girl because when you can identify something, everything else gets easier. So how many of you are moms in here? Just wave at me. Okay, do you all ever stop being a mom? Never. It's part of your identity. You never turn it off. But you couldn't turn it off even if you tried to turn it off. It's like the second you go on a date, you're just like talking about them. You're thinking about them. You're worried about them. You just can't turn it off. So what I find is that a lot of people put this identity of a salesperson in a drawer. And they think I only pull it out when I need it and then I close it right back up. And what that's causing is so much pain because it's requiring so much energy to pull the door out, pull it open, put it in the brain, have to rethink about it, have to put a lot more energy, a lot more effort, and then put it back in and close the door. Versus when you're just salesperson, it's just what you do. It's just who you are. You are just that identity. I highly recommend you guys having some sort of identity that you can help people carry and just kind of layer on on top of what they are. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm a CEO. I'm a mom and I'm a sales girl. I'm a wife. I just am those things. And it makes them win so much better as well. So having that identity is really, really important. Let's talk about memories. So have you ever had the thought like I've tried everything? I've even met her. Have you all heard your clients tell you I've tried everything? Nothing else works. Yeah. So I want to just encourage you in your journey of transforming people from one identity to a future identity. That the memories that you have of it being painful is actually what helps you move through to that future version of you. So I'm going to give you an example. So I'm in my ice skating journey. Okay. And I, the first thing, like if you get a piece of paper, it tells you the six basics. Right? You're basic one, basic two, basic three, basic four, basic five, basic six. And when you hit basic six, then you go to the next level. The first half of basic one is learning how to fall. It's like falling your, you know, bend your knees, get really small, fall to the side on the, you know, the softer part of your ground, whatever you do, do not lock your legs and fall back. Think about a tree, big tree fall down. Like it just boom. It will hurt so bad. Okay. And I like practice. I watch a YouTube video on it. I watched my teacher do it. I like, like, was like, okay, let me try to go forward, forward, you know, you catch yourself. And it was not until I fell incorrectly that I understood how to do it. I, and I wouldn't even do anything crazy. I just kind of lost my balance a little bit and sit, lock up, and you're just like trying to save yourself versus just letting the fall happen. If you just let the fall happen, it's so much safer versus trying to save yourself from the fall. And I think a lot of people potentially would have experienced that. It hurt. Y'all, I'm still kind of like, oh, a tailbone, man. Oh, I think some of you would experience that. And they would think, man, this is why I should definitely not ice skate anymore. I definitely need to call like that was dangerous. That could have been really bad. Like, I don't need ice. Great. But for me, my thought, my filtration system was like, oh, now I see how to do it for real. Like I had to experience the impact in order to learn the lesson. And I just, as a coach, just like a little sidebar right here, if you're a coach of some form, like I, your job is not to save people from falling is to walk with them as they do fall. They need these memories to actually learn a lesson. That's how they become a different person. That's how they go from their current self to their future self. Is a fall, they experience an impact, and you help them frame that impact. You help them frame and say, oh, you're ready now. You're ready to keep going versus, oh, you should definitely stop. Okay. Let's talk about values, spouses and family's opinion. Anybody feel like that is an objection that they get a lot, spouse objections. Yeah, y'all laughing back there. Yeah, 100%. So like, nothing is wrong here because they just value a cohesive family unit. And that's really important, right? What you want to do is help them reframe that value as this is how you cohesively grow. This is how you cohesively, sorry about my thing, you cohesively develop as a cut. Like you can just help them reframe it. And that's another conversation for another day for handling objections. But one thing that you can do, and I want to encourage you to do this for yourself too. Okay. So I want you to imagine that that actually this happened to me for real. When I first started my Instagram account, okay. And at "Well, I didn't start my Instagramming out. I started posting on it like a business. And I went to go send something to one of my friends on that Instagram account like a funny reel or I don't think there were reels at that time, but like a funny meme. And her name always popped up at the top, but it wasn't popping up. It was like, why isn't her name, I couldn't find, she had unfollowed me. And like when I say that, that was a circumstance, she'd unfollowed me. My thought was absolute, my feeling was devastation. And my thought was like, how could she not support me? Which that's a question you shouldn't have a question. It's like she doesn't support me, but people I love the most don't support me. Devastated, I spiraled. I spiraled into embarrassment. I spiraled into, I felt so much shame. I couldn't even go to church. 'Cause I was like, oh my gosh, if she thinks that, she's like one of my best friends. So I thought, I can't even imagine what these other people are probably saying about me. I do not want to show my face anywhere. This is so embarrassing. I'm gonna stay in my house for the rest of my life. I need to move like, oh my gosh. And you know, a result of like not really supporting myself. Because I put so much value on her not supporting me. But now that I've been in the game for a long time, what do we know now about this? This, huh? Oh, maybe she's, I don't even know. But my thought is like, oh, that doesn't matter. She's not my people. My people hear my voice. My people need me. She's not my people. It's no problem at all. But do you see how there's two different thoughts? Based on my filtration system, create two different results. And literally the difference is suffering and literally not existent. Doesn't hurt me one bit. Do you see the difference there? But we have to almost go through the pain in order to be able to experience what a transformed my cell would be. Okay, let's do one more. Tribal narratives. So I used to think, so one of the tribal narrative is like being a woman, I would say, like I'm a woman. I used to think being a woman didn't matter. Like I used to think I don't want someone to choose me to speak on their say, just cut down a woman. I want them to choose me because I'm the best. I don't want someone to choose me because, you know, or not choose me. I just want to be with everybody else. I don't want to make it a big deal. But now, if that was kind of my old Phil Churchy system, now I am so passionate about women. I believe sales skills help women unlock lifelong confidence. I actually just got a message from someone yesterday who was like, hey, I've had a couple of babies. I've been trying to get back in interviewing. And I feel like I cannot interview the way I used to. I feel like I'm really struggling getting my words together. I'm just struggling to sell myself. I don't even know where to begin. I know that's a sales skill problem. And I feel so passionate about helping women meet where they are and be able to rev up their confidence no matter what their season is. Like, I care so much about women. And that is that new filtration system that I feel like is coming through potentially and really speaking to the right people. But I had to go through this to be like, I don't care that it's about women. It doesn't matter to me. I don't want to be chosen because I don't want to make a big deal of the other women. I had to go through that in order to really lock in on what I care about the most. Is this making sense? Okay, so now what I want to show you is that these right here, the way I would describe them is as stories. So these are stories that we hold. These are stories that we carry. I was just a dinner with someone and someone asked, hey, did you always know you wanted to be a mom? And her answer was, I didn't want to, I did not always want to be a mom because I didn't want to be like my mom. Okay, so that's a story that she held. It's a thought that she held, which was going to create a result of not having kids, right? But she needed having kids. And her new story is, oh, I get to be the opposite of what my mom is. Okay. Now, your people that you talk to, by the way, this is kind of both of your future self-centered, but also when you're communicating with your clients too, they are carrying these stories. And my dad has always said, the best way, how do you take candy from a baby? You give them something better instead. So it's like they have candy, you're not like, take me, give me the candy, don't eat that. Here's a teddy bear. Look at this teddy bear, don't you want this and then you take the candy. So it's the same with the stories. This is how you to think about it. So you have a story that you're carrying right now about people not supporting you about women and making money that making money. You have this story, but I'm going to show you a story that is so much better that you get to trade. This is going to transfer you into a future self. You get to do this for yourself as well, my friends. Now, how do we get from point A to point B? How do we get through from this person to this person? You have to go through something called, what I like to call the river of misery. Everyone say river of misery. So it's actually not what I call it. This is what Bracistito calls it. So you think, okay, let me just get from one thought to another thought. Let me just trade thoughts here. Let me just be this person so I can get this result and it would be that simple. But because this person right here loves to think that your brain is made to protect you, not to grow you, you know that right? It's made to keep you safe. It's made to make you feel like you know what to expect. And the second that you try to grow yourself is the second that your brain's going to try to pull you back. Okay, so when you go into the river of misery, all it looks like is experiencing emotions that you're not used to, uncomfort, or I should say discomfort, self-doubt, confusion, overwhelm, frustration, courage. Like courage sounds really positive, but what's required for you to experience courage first? Fear. Now here's what's important to note here. Anytime you go into this river of misery, okay, and I'm gonna tell you a little bit more specifics of what it feels like. You go into this river of misery, you go and try to change your thought to go from dogs are unpredictable to I love dogs whenever you go to make that journey, you're gonna feel a lot of self-doubt. Now, why is that a good thing? It's two different people. Exactly. Of course, your current self right here is doubting who this person is 'cause that isn't you yet. That isn't you yet. That's exactly how it's supposed to be. Now, I'm gonna talk about in the next video. Oh yeah, this is important right here. So the reason why this is so challenging is because you're gonna have these belief gremlins as I like to call, come back up. So you're gonna go and try to take actions as a totally new person with a totally different thought process and you're gonna have belief gremlins that creep up in your ear and guess what they're gonna say. You're comfortable enough. You're thin enough, you have enough money. You don't have to do this. There's easier things to do. Don't worry about it. It's gonna pull you back into who this is and you have to be conscious of those belief gremlins and say, okay, hey, belief gremlins, that is my old filtration system. That's how I used to think. That's how I used to believe. That's how I used to see myself. That's how I used to identify and I choose not to identify that anymore and I choose to override you. You know, you can override your brain. Do you know this? It is possible, but it feels like, oh, I'm the victim to my brain. It tells me exactly what to do and I don't even think about the way that I'm thinking. I spend so much of my time thinking about how I'm thinking. Do you ever do that? Miss life coach over there definitely does. Okay. So here's what's gonna happen, okay? You're gonna experience a circumstance and you get to make a decision. Am I gonna think like her, my current self or am I gonna think like her? So what are some circumstances that you might experience? And invest in opportunity. Okay. My current self, when I think about my filtration system and I think about what I believe and I think about my ideas, I think about my identify. This is how I currently think about this investment. But if I were to have a different result, what would that person be thinking? You get a sales objection. This person, absolutely panicked. This person, not a problem. Let's see what else. You have like a team member dilemma. Anybody experienced some team member stuff ever? That you're like, I don't know how to handle this, okay? So if you think about like this person who, and put your result right here, put how much money that you're making right now. And then go to your result over here and put how much money you wanna make and think, okay, what would this person be thinking? And y'all, this is so hard to do. One of my favorite activities and some of my biggest liable moments is to actually journal. I talk, I talk as this person and then my future self talks back to me. It's so weird, I know. But I can hear her. I can hear her result $20 million is talking to me and I can hear what she was telling. She's like, girl, get it together. Girl, that's not that big of a deal. Why are you thinking that such a big deal? Girl, why are you avoiding this? I can sense your avoidance. What is going on? And I swear, I can see the discrepancies between this person and that person. Just by thinking, okay, if $20 million had already happened, I know how she would approach this situation and I know how I'm approaching it right now. And it is a conscious decision to be like, okay, I'm going to act as this person, even though it doesn't feel aligned with me, how many of you are always trying to feel like aligned and congruent and inflow, like stop. Why are you trying to feel inflow all the time? I'm trying to be here, but I got to get through here to be here and be inflow as this person, not this person. There you all follow me, are you tracking? Okay. So I want to talk about how this is a new, like what the River of Missouri actually feels like because it sounds miserable and it is kind of miserable. But you're already a little miserable now. You're already uncomfortable now. I promise who you are. So what the River of Missouri feels like? It's just a new discomfort. Someone say new. Say new discomfort. So I know for me personally, I'm still like a little scared of flying. It freaks me out when I think about all the suitcases, how much people might be weighing, how much is the engine weigh. Oh my gosh, that's a lot of water. Like I calculate how much weight is on this plane, this metal tube, and it's just gonna go in the, like it freaks me out a little bit. But I'm so used to it that it's kind of like a familiar discomfort. So it's not as painful. It's still a little weird, but I'm just used to it so it's not a big deal. And a lot of times people would rather experience a familiar discomfort than unfamiliar discomfort. So when you start getting into this unfamiliar discomfort, that's what feels like the River of Missouri. But I promise you, I promise you, you are not comfortable right now. There was a time that I was stuck in a plateau. It was about for three, about three, maybe two and a half years, of $1.2 million C-T-F-A-R. It's like my result was 1.2 million, and my circumstance was also 1.2 million. It was like, this is the circumstance, and then this is also the result. So obviously there was a thought and a feeling and the way I was acting, that kept creating the same result over and over and over again. That's what we call homeostasis. This is where your brain loves to be. It loves that thermostat. Like it knows that it's 68 degrees, and you can start a fire in a room that's 68 degrees, and it'll heat up, but eventually it always goes back to 1.2. This is why people can lose a bunch of weight, and they end up gaining it again. Why? Because they did something crazy, but they didn't change who they are. You know what I'm saying? Or maybe they win the lottery. They're like, "Oh, this doesn't, "it's like the worst thing they could possibly happen to you "is winning the lottery." Because eventually you just get right back to the same result because you didn't change who you are, you just change your circumstance. And so when I realized that this is how, like I was so miserable here, by the way, and some of you were looking at this, you're like, "Okay, champagne problem's messy. "I would love to be stuck at $1.2 million." Like, "Hello, stop complaining." But I would be so uncomfortable if I was stuck at $20 million, for I was stuck at $100 million. Why? We are made for growth. We are made for development. We are not made to be stagnant. I wanna show you what being stagnant looks like is this. This is stagnant water. When there is no movement in water, what happens to it? Toxic. When there's no circulation, when there's no airflow, when there's no, no, yeah, circulation, honestly, it becomes poisonous. It's the worst. It's like, have you ever, you think you wanna bed-rot? You know what I mean? When I say that, where you lay in bed all day, you think you wanna do that. And it starts to feel really gross, really fast, doesn't it? Like, I want you to imagine you are sitting in your bed on Saturday morning and there's nothing on your calendar. And someone brings you a latte. And you're like, oh my gosh, I just need to like, cuddle them, I can tell you last time, I just cuddle them, bed and have this latte. It is, you last an hour, maybe. You know what I gotta get up, I gotta change clothes. I gotta, I gotta get going here. It's not what you think that it is. But here's what the River of Missouri is like, okay? You have nothing on your calendar. So when brings you a latte, you take one sip and then someone comes in and they rip the coverage off of you. Get out, we're going to the gym. And you're like, no, and then you have to pull yourself out of bed. Change your clothes, put on your tennis shoes, go to the gym, get on the stair master, get 25, 30 minutes in and then you're like, yeah, this feels good. All those steps are like, no, come back in the bed, come back in the bed, come back to bed. It's so much better, so much better. And then eventually, you get there and you're like, okay, I'm feeling better. That's what the River of Missouri is. So y'all do it all the time. How many of you work out? I know a lot of y'all do. And then you go to a point where it's like, you can catch me dead not working out. Because I'm so much more comfortable as the future self that works out than I am the past self that doesn't work out. So here's what a new discomfort feels like. It's just movement in a different way. It's a, the type of discomfort is like, it's like a sharp pain. It's like, have you ever stretched? And you're like, man, it kind of hurts, but it feels kind of good. Yeah, that's what new discomfort feels like. I've never felt this way, but I can tell it's progressing me. It's like climbing up a steep mountain. Now, I wanna tell you what my favorite exercises that you could possibly do. Write down a result that you desired to have as a future self-you. Be specific. So for example, one of mine is a salesgirl summer. What is a salesgirl summer? It's a summer in which my business still grows. Not says the same, okay? We cannot say stagnant. It grows while I don't really work. And I'll like maybe I do a couple coaching calls, but I'm not like driving anything, but it still grows. I'll tell you what, my belief system right now is not capable of that. I cannot imagine how that could possibly happen. The actions that I'm taking are not reflective of what that could be. But as I make decisions, I think about, okay, if that was a result, how would I make this decision? If I was thinking about the summer, potentially with my kids, how would I make this decision for the result of the salesgirl summer? How would I be thinking? It just really kind of trips your brain out a little bit and it makes you think in a way that you never thought about before. And then another example is $20 million. How does Macy think about $20 million? Brickassillo, she'll say, I want to be an example of what's possible, which I love because that's a certain result, right? So if we were to do CTFAR, and let's say hypothetically, I was still at plateau, but then this was $20 million, you can see how much work needs to be done up in here. You can see how painful that could be potentially. And so what Brickassillo says is like, I want to be an example of what's possible, which is so good. But what I like to think about is how can it be example of the full human experience? What's the full human experience? It is the $20 million and also the pain that it took to get there. You see people that are just killing it in life. Or you see them on their, I call it the salesgirls summer. This is your role model. This is you. And you're like, what are they doing up there versus what are they doing down here? What, or excuse me, what did they do down here to get up there? Do you see that difference? This is what I want you to look at. This is what I want you to think about. I was like, what do they do right here? What do they think right here? What kind of actions were they taking? What kind of mindset did they have on the valley to be able to get to the summit? And then how to raise your salesgirls standard is to think like her. Work from your future self. And truly, this is what it means. And this is what I do when I journal a lot, is I will think about my day. I calendar my day. I know exactly what's coming. I know exactly what I'm about to do. And I think, okay, how does my future self think about today? How does my future self think about the coaching call? And that's all I'll journal as my future self. Here's how I think about it. Here's what makes me excited about it. Here's how I'm going to carry myself. Here's the perspective that I have. Here's the reading that I'm going to do. Here's how I'm going to trust myself better. Like I know for another example, for me, my current self right now, I'm working on building capacity to be able to do some more business operation stuff while also staying really creative, which to me that can be a little bit challenging. But I know for a fact, this is actually how I got to this place. I did a journaling little session as $20 million Macy. And it was so evident, it was so clear, it was so obvious that I've got to get my act together and understand how business works. Like I feel like I know how to sell so well. I feel like I'm an amazing team that can do so many things that they have really built so many systems so beautifully. But I have got to gain pretty thorough understanding of how levers work, what can be pulled, what funds can be pressed to make decisions more effectively. I've been flying by the seat of my pants and selling and selling and selling and selling up into this point and has definitely got me where I am now. But it has got to get more upleveled. And so that is why I've gotten recommitted to being like, okay, here's how the business is going to operate and it can be up to me and I'm going to take the action to do it. So I'm building this capacity to do this. And so are you already? One of the beliefs that I have is that me being creative, it takes me a long time. It takes me a long time to think about these messages. It takes me a long time to create these images. It takes me a long time to have these examples and have these sources. Anybody else had that story about a little bit, like it takes me a while. And I'm like $20 million, it basically doesn't think that at all. She thinks, oh, this just happens out of a dead sleep. $20 million may seem believes that, oh, you've actually already done so much of the work. It can just show up now. The work can start working for you instead of it always feeling like it's working on you. And so what I found and what I realized in my adrenaline fashion was whenever I spend so much time on something, and it goes really well, which is typically the case for me, what I do is I reinforce how much time I spent on it. And I proved to myself, yeah, I needed all that time to be able to do a good job. And so now part of the River of Misery that I'm in right now is, okay, I'm actually gonna give myself way less time to output the same results, to do just as good as not better of a job, to prove to myself, I can do it really fast. And I hate it here, by the way. I hate it. I actually want to be spending a lot of time creating. I love it. I love it, I love it, I love it. But it's time to raise. We talk a lot about, I feel like I hear a lot of people talk about capacity all the time. The way you raise your capacity is actually not by doing more, but it's taking away. So I'm taking away the amount of time to do something and producing the same result. And that's what $30 million Macie does. So that is my current River of Misery is experiencing that discomfort. It's a totally new discomfort, 'cause usually my discomfort is in the preparation. Now my discomfort is in less preparation. Isn't that crazy? But that is how you become your future self. Now, I wanted to point out one thing right here. This is why, in my opinion, we are born and God has given us desires in our heart. There is a reason you have a desire to have a house cleaner. There's a reason you have a desire to have a new car. There's a reason you have a desire to make a lot of money. Why is that? It's 'cause God wants us to be all that He's created us to be. And the only way you can get a big result is by being a bigger person, creating a bigger life, thinking better thoughts. Being out like, there's no way you can have a different result unless you be someone different. And that's what God wants for us. He wants us to grow. So those desires as results that you wanna have, don't discount them, don't ignore them, don't minimize them, and use them as a mental framing of, okay, how can this be the journey for me to develop into being home and into being? Now, one thing that I have for all of you is actually future self journaling questions for you. And this is gonna be in the description below that you can grab as well. And there's different parts. So the part one is to define the results that you have. Can you hand these out? Thank you so much. Define the result that you have. If it's three years from now and everything has worked out, what do I have? So you're gonna start with half. I love this question of what is a normal Tuesday look like in that life? Just think about that. Normal Tuesday, laid out exactly. The times that you're doing stuff, what you're eating, what you're wearing, what your closet look like, how does the carpet feel in your feet? Or do you have hardwoods? Do you have rugs? Like literally lay it out, okay? And then what problems does that version of me no longer have? So for example, the problem of feeling like my friend didn't support me, I wish I knew this back then. 'Cause I would be like $20 million, amazing, don't care about nobody that don't support. She is on a mission to change the people who are ready for her. Can you imagine the suffering that I would have not had to experience? It's crazy, okay. And then part two is to reverse engineer. What does she do consistently that I currently don't? I'm curious when you read that, do things come to your mind? What is the future you do consistently that you currently don't right now? Does anything come to you all right away? Okay, sales conversations, you got something? What? Lead generation, okay? Yeah? Not micromanaging, 100%. Yeah. Like you know, that's what's so crazy. It's like you read this question, I literally know what the discurpancy is. It's just the process of changing that is so challenging. What my goal is to help you get excited about the process, not to avoid it, okay? What conversations does she initiate? That's a good one too. Okay, part three, excuse me, there's a few more. What does she create weekly? And how does she make decisions? Okay, part three is discover the B. What qualities does she embody daily? You all know 'em off the top of your head, don't you? What are they? Calm, patience, organized. Yeah, me to me, 100%. And so now, like in the next video is gonna be the story you tell yourself standard. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna help you see how the River of Missouri doesn't have to be quite as miserable and how you can actually not force yourself to be organized, but create desire to be organized so that it feels a little bit easier. And it helps you stay in the River of Missouri versus going in and then coming out, and then going in and then coming out, and starting over and then never mind, but really just staying put and almost creating a new homeostasis within the River of Missouri. Does that make sense? Okay, well something goes wrong, how does she respond? That's a good question. What emotions does she feel most often? Okay, let's talk about this for a second. What comes to your mind when I say that? Oh, she just feels resistance, yeah, that's good. Really good, what else? Okay, empowered. So let's think about this. When you, do you think empowered is a good emotion? Okay, yeah, yeah. So for my, I think the one of these videos that you was like, I don't think about APA, that's the current thing. Okay, yeah, yeah. Kind of changed my mind. So good, yeah. I just, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So she said, I, my friend said, I don't think about something that doesn't empower me. So here's what I think people get confused with. They think that empowerment is positive. Sometimes it's not, like powerful isn't the same thing as positive. Yeah. And so when they don't feel positive, they think something's wrong. They feel, and you know, when you feel empowered, you kind of got to be disciplined, you got to be focused, you've got to have a lot of energy. I think about it in movement. Yeah, movement's so good. I'm empowered. I feel more likely to move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I'm not, I feel more likely to start. Yeah, so good. So good. What standards did she refuse to lower? That's a good one. What would someone close to her say has changed about her? Now that's a good question. What has someone closer say this has changed about her? And then number four claps, part four claps time. If the version of me walked into the room right now, what would she tell me to stop doing? Okay, so this is that conversation that your future self has with your current self. If your future self walked in the room, which she could grab you by the shoulders, girl, stop. What would be the thing? Overthinking, okay. Mine would be like, girl, know what the heck you're doing outside of sales. That would be mine. What else? Get out and talk to people. What are you doing? Let's go. So good. What would she tell me to start doing immediately? Lay your neck on the table. Huh? Laying your neck on the table. Okay, so good. What are you about to say? It's okay if you don't have it. Just get off there. Yeah, put yourself out there. What decision would she make this week that I've been avoiding? What would she do tomorrow morning? I would just get in the habit, y'all. We just get in the habit of doing the same thing every day. Think in the same thing every day. Walk in the same walk every day. I take the work it takes to be like, wait a minute. What would she be doing? And then actually doing it. That is one little swim in the river of misery right there. And then part five, the identity lock. Finish these sentences. I'm a woman who I no longer, my new standard is what is one behavior I can change in the next 24 hours that aligns with her. That is a good reflection sheet if I do say so myself. So good, yeah? Okay, so this was your first standard and the salesgirl's standard series. Like I said, the next video where we'll be talking about the story you tell yourself standard and how to make the river of misery not quite as miserable. See you in the next one.