The French Vikings | History Hyenas

Boys and girls August 21st, 22nd Empire comedy club Portland, Maine. I'll be there, hun. Okay, baby. I'm gonna be in Philadelphia this week in August, 14th of 15th August. Almost sold out at the comedy mothership August 21st to 23rd. Well, I'll be doing free speech comedy. Yeah, free speech comedy, Nazi comedy. And then I'll be in the great beautiful town of Rochester. Love it. So if you it's just if you don't want to put a gun in your mouth for one more night. Because you live in Rochester, come see me Rochester. Then I'll be in Batavia, Levittown, LA, Dallas, and San Diego. Get your tickets at yarnaspapiscomedy.com and don't forget to go and join our subscribers at patreon.com/historyhighenas to join the fun all in one two episodes a week. What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of history high heinus. I'm Chris the Stefano aka Chrissy the White Belt. With me, as always, yarnaspapis aka yarny yams. Yarny looking good today. Yarny feeling good today. Welcome to the history high heinus where you got a better chance of learning more accurate history of actually two high heinus from the Sarangetti were doing it. And there was no words that it was just tackles. That's how much history you're going to learn. It's what it is. And we just want to start off the show by saying my phone is open here. Why is open is because we are uploading a video for Stefano susapitas for his birthday. We are sending him a birthday message in an effort to try in return to get us open tickets. Yes, that's what we're doing. I would probably think a lot of you don't know who Stefano says he's a top 10 tennis player in the world is a Greek kid. And I wanted to go to the US open and somehow serendipity his girlfriend contacted Chris. I mean, I think you just a kid with a golden ticket. Just what it is got a golden ticket got golden balls. And let me tell you something right now. The real golden ticket is at patreon.com slash history high heinus that has been growing exponentially. And we just want to say thank you so much to the fans who go over there and support our community. You don't know how much it means to us. It literally means everything. patreon.com slash history high heinus we want to announce the winner of last week's episode because it was a three way tie and we could not figure it out. Jesse, can you pop open the patreon. Because I'm I'm misremembering the two names. I know who the winner is and I would open my phone to look at it. But again, my drop box video is uploading the video to send to Stefano susapitas in an effort to get free US open tickets and also take a look at his girlfriend's feet because she is piece. So the three people in contention to three names in contention were we could not choose at patreon.com slash history high heinus last week's winner. We could not choose between here for uncackled lee roi jokes to feel better about my wife's dildo choice. That came in at 25% of the vote. Then we had a stoic lee roi aka de marcus arilius. That came in at 33% of the vote. And then the winner at 42% of the vote. So this was a sweeper was half Jackie Chan, half Jackie Robinson full re roi last. That is the winner. And I that is your name up the lights go to history high heinus is back.com to see your name up in lights where the ppw the pseudo penis of the week. If you want to get involved, then you have to go to patreon and not only do have great bonus episodes over there. Not only do we have the episode to add free so you can just listen, but you get an opportunity to list a funny name and have it read on the show. This is what we call a sophie's choice. It happens once in a while. I did peruse the comments on patreon and the fans acknowledged that this was an impossible decision to make. Yes. But we have to crown a winner. Right. This is America. This is not Europe where you tie or you guys get to go move up or down. There's a winner. And there's a loser. And you are the winner, my friend. Congratulations. It's what it is. Even even some of our old fans, Fomala Harris, aka laser beam, Lee Roy said that she loves re Roy, but had to vote for stoic. I'd be people were, you know, all around. But we always think that the fans do it right. A lot of people AOC's this makes my peace split. He said, fuck this one is hard. Then command our eight off Bougaloo director of camp 14 said to Marcus Aurelius gotta wait. It's what it is. You know, tell my dad said the first one made everyone laugh so hard. It shouldn't even have been a vote. And that was not correct by the numbers. Leanne, the garlic slicer said to Marcus Aurelius is the best name of the second right. I mean, the people, you know, but not to be undone fiddle faddle. My rose beef saddle until doggy paddle said this one is tough, cozy three real contenders here. It's just what it is. Yeah, you know, so the fee fee piece clear winner, the mark is history reference always gets the edge with combined with Lee Roy. So people have different ideas about why which one should win or lose. And even some of those names that we just read. I don't even know if they ever made the list or weren't contentioners, but so many names, but just keep keep post just keep doing it. We're going to make a movie about this patreon once just like Sylvester Stallone did in Rocky. Yeah, then what we can guarantee you is when you join our community are of subscribers of patreon.com/historyihinas. It's you're not going to be entering an Oxford level discussion of historical topics. It's a little different over there. No, it's a little. It's more community college level. No, we got our fans are we, you know, like we did on the on the recent patreon episode that we just uploaded today's episode is going to be great. It's going to be about William the Conqueror and we'll get a lot of things wrong and the Mark Normans and the Mark Normans. But like our fans are we're not looking to discuss any of the political ideas of say the founding fathers. We have videos that we explore about what George Washington smelled like. Yeah. What he sounded like based off his is with his is his fake teeth and but really what he smelled like what he thought about that's what we're that's what we're going for. That's what we're going for. It's fun. It's fun. It's with the whole point of it is it's fun over there. And the fans talked with each other in the chat and we we hop in once in a while and it's a really fun community and I'm hoping to see some little hyena babies when two of these crazy people just meet on the chat board. Yeah. And the next thing you know they're sending us videos of their kids named chaos Kevin or something like that or you know just just people who are really you know what they call that a little bit of dripage in the kitchen from the roof. It's just what it is and look and we have a good time we've create that's the thing in life is I'm proud of the community that we've created here and that we continue to create day by day. It's like I don't want to be like anybody else. I want to be just I want our fans to just be our fans and I want and I like them only meet them in the street. You know they're beautiful people. Everybody's a little bit retarded just like us and it's just what it is for all a little bit retarded. We're all a little bit. We really all are a little bit or you or we would be doing something concrete to contribute to society. And when when this is all over you know you'll see that we didn't we just did it. We had a good time. What we did is we gave a good time. We didn't create the air conditioner. We didn't create refrigeration. We didn't create democracy. We don't know about anything. We don't even know how to make a car. Sometimes we don't even know how a car works. We got to read the manual. Yeah. But we had a good time. We had a good time and here's the thing. Here's the thing is we may invent something. We may invent something. We we've kind of invented a new language. You invented the 6 p.m. show. I invented the 6 p.m. show. Which by the way we have a show tonight. Even though this episode won't be coming out until the show is over. We forgot to promote our own live show. Which is tonight. We forgot to even mention that we didn't mention it once. So if you're hearing about this. Just know that there are probably tickets left for the show in September. It's very funny that we didn't even mention it. You didn't even remember that we had it. He showed up in shorts because it originally was supposed to be on the 3rd that we switched it to the 10th. Yeah. We just keep switching it because we remove trying to move it around from my steps on birthday party. Which wound up getting canceled last week because of the rain. And it is actually today. So Jasmine actually asked me to cancel the live show again morning. And I said, I can't. I can't. And she's like, did you even promote it? And I said, that's not the point, bitch. Yeah. Now, I don't like this rule that you can't wear shorts on stage. That's the fucking rule, guy. I got sexy legs. You do have sexy legs. I understand why you made what a full pant up. Right? Because you just don't have sexy legs. I really don't. I got milky. It just looks like someone had a container and poured milk into it. I got milky legs. But the truth is, is if I get the weight behind the right hand and get you in a jujitsu hole, it's going to be a long day for you. That's just the truth. And then I'll do it all in high heels, fucker. No, because all I have to do is step on your foot, you're done. Yeah. If I could make contact with the back of your foot, I'm a killie. You're a killie, Scott. That's what it is. I'm a killie. I got a big bony overgrowth called the Haglyn's deformity right on the back of my heel and make absolutely no mistake. It makes it impossible to walk around and pumps. Yeah. You can't do it anymore. I can't do it. That's probably how the injury happens. That was because I was moonlighting a lot. And Chris Talley, it just gets fatter by the second. He gets fatter, but he told me he goes, he goes, oh, that he's a big fan of the Premier League and he, his team is West full of him and go to London, he goes, we should go out together. I said, I'm not getting on the plane with you. (both laughing) - Last one, Dean. - Okay, I'll back it up. I don't need to run out of fuel over the Atlantic. - I have a great idea. Maybe we can invent something. Why is there not a plus size airline? - Good point. - Why is there not a plus size airline? - A jumbo airliner. - Why is there not a jumbo airline? And why is there, there's plus size stores. - Good call. - There's bigger seats. - Bigger seats. - Bigger fuel. - Yeah, bigger meals. - Bigger meals. - Yeah, things like that. - Get on the plus size, you can only get on if you're over three, oh. - If you're over three hundred. - I'm sorry, I just got to talk about that. - Extra air conditioning to make it just even feel like it's, you know, comfortable. - There should be a wide, there should be wider seats 'cause one of the saddest things I saw I was on a jet blue flight. Kid was sitting in the front row and he was a big kid and he couldn't fit. He couldn't, he couldn't, the armrest didn't go up so he could not get in. And I could see him dying, sweating. So I went in the bathroom, I pissed and I just told the kid, I said you could sit in my seat 'cause I had the adjustable armrest so, and he was so thankful that I let him sit in there. And I felt, and I felt terrible. I felt terrible for the kid. And I, you know, so I just fucking, I always remember that. I always remember, and I always remember the back of his head smell like ham. Which is, as per you, so some food, you know, it's just sort of, there's food around them. - It's unfortunately, yeah, but fat people on planes is one of Jesse's art pieces over there to the right on Pinterest. - Do you think you would motivate a little bit if they just had weight rules for fun? - No, I think that, I think that's cruel. I think it's cruel and I'd be better for people's health. - I would want a plus size airline for people 'cause listen, here's the truth. Is you being obese has nothing to do with, it's what, it's your journey. I want, but because we're living in a society where there's not a lot of things for obese people, I just think having an airline for them would be actually a fantastic idea. And I think it would make people who are scared to get on planes and see the world. I think it would open up an opportunity for them. And I think now that spirit airlines went out, you can open up, you can open up, you know, a new, a new overweight person's airline. Would people emotionally respond to that okay? Would they feel like they're being laughed at? Like, for example, if you had plus size airlines, of course, you would have to have cars, little buggies pick them up as soon as they get to the airport and wheel them all the way. - Listen, I think it's gonna be one of those things where people are gonna make fun of it, but it's just one of those things like, you know, it's just one of those things like, look, you don't have to, you don't have to make it a bad name. Like you don't have to, you know, instead of Jeppel, you don't have to call it Jet Moe. - But you can't, but you can if you want if you're making it, if you're making the airlines. - You can. - You can, you can actually do whatever you want. - You could do whatever you want. - You don't have to. - Yeah, you could, you could do that. - Yeah. - You don't have to. - Yeah, you can, yeah, you totally can do it. - Yeah, yeah, you can, so yeah, you don't buy. - You could call it, let's see if this thing can get some air. - Yeah. - Let's see if this thing can take off. - Yeah, you could see it, yeah, you know. - You're accepted to the plane, see if I can lift, things like that. - Yeah, so whatever. - You don't have airlines called Delta Grounded. - Yeah, yeah, Delta Grounded Ford. - This thing's so heavy to get up. - Yeah, you could do some fun stuff, okay. - You could do whatever you want, guy. - Hold on, I'm copying the link and I'm sending it to Stefano Cicipidis. - Or you could call it all you can eat. Oh, it just, all you can eat. All you can eat airlines. - That's what it is. That's a good one. - Yeah, all you can eat airlines. - Yeah. - Or Snickers bars under the floorboards. - Yeah, buffet in the sky. - Buffet in the sky is a good one. - Yeah, that's where the secret eating, yeah. - How about secret eating airlines? - Yeah, how about, how about, how about if I'm in public, I'll order salad airlines. - There's many things we could do and I actually think that having an airline for overweight people is something that you hit on. And that could be our new idea that that changes humanity. - That could be very nice, that could be a very, but with those epic now and GLP ones, people are getting less obese. - I know and, you know, we got to combat that. - Sometimes some of the solutions are not the most empathetic to certain communities. Like you can't deny if we did have some sort of tax credits or incentive structure to be more in shape. - Sure. - Like you would pay less for your insurance, things like that. - Sure. - It would work a little bit. - Sure. - Some people would financially be incentivized. So let me get in a little better health. So I pay less insurance. - Sure. - You know, I just do think sometimes if you buy into the progressive taxation and how that's a good thing, maybe there should be some sort of progressive penalty. - Right. - When you pay for insurance based on how much of a risk you are to spend everyone's money who's thrown into the pot. That only seems fair. - That only seems fair. - That only seems fair that if you go into McDonald's, you get to the counter, there's a scale. - Right. - You step onto a scale and that scale says a certain number and he goes, "Can I get a burger?" And you go, "I'm sorry, that burger is against the law." - Well, let me ask that. - That wouldn't be bad for society. - Let me ask you this though. What did the ancient Greeks do with fatties? - They threw them off a cliff or they bounced off of them? - Did they real, no, but what did they actually do? Do we have any historical references of what ancient Greek people did? Or could you run, no, you couldn't really get to the levels of obesity. - You couldn't, you couldn't. It was a little hard to come by and it's not just that. Public shaming was a lot more acceptable in history. - It was, yeah. - As well as murder, as well as rape, a lot of things. It wasn't a politically correct time. - It wasn't a politically correct time. - So if you were fat, I mean, yeah. The chances that someone wouldn't throw a slurry, yeah? - Yeah. - I mean, you gotta admit that social pressure probably worked very well to keep people fit. - What did the ancient Greeks did recognize excessive body fat as a problem? Particularly among wealthy men. But they understood it very different from modern medicine. There wasn't a concept of obesity as a chronic disease. Instead being excessively fat was often viewed through the lens of health, self-control, athleticism, and moral character. - Yeah, so maybe they looked at the way African, some African nations, like if you're too skinny, it just means your poor, if you're fat means you're doing good. - Right. - So, I don't know if I buy that 100%. - Exercise was considered fundamental to the health in ancient Greece, so they knew about that. So that Greek physician Hippocrates wrote extensively about diet and exercise. - Yeah, exactly. - Okay, so they knew. - And I believe that some things, the political correctness of certain things are very easy to read through. Like, for example, when they refer to Muslim conquest as expansions like a morning stretch. - Sure. - I feel like that's not an accurate depiction. - No. - I feel like when you look at all the Greek statues from that era, there's not one fatty. - No. - So I don't think they celebrated the way they're portraying it in this summary. I think it's sensitivity. - Right. - Awareness that they're doing right there. - Did they recall fat fox? - I think they were called fat fox. I don't think human nature changed because people are sensitive now. I think there's certain things you could look at a history and call bullshit. Like when you see a French person who was a man two years ago averaging a fucking 20 and 20 mark in a French pro league. - It's just what it is, you hear all about that on the Patreon. - Yeah, I think some things you could use eyeball. Listen to this, Dionysus, the first of Syracuse was reported to have become extremely obese. Ancient writers said rulers and wealthy men struggle with excessive weight. So what did Greek medicine actually do? If someone was overweight, a physician might prescribe a regimen involving less food, more exercise, control drinking, massage, bathing, lifestyle changes. So you could still drink some booze but just a little bit less. And you would just get happy endings for the sausages. - I would, I would, I would gas that it was pretty similar to today just a little bit cooler with the terminology. I believe it was probably more just like it was in the 80s. - Yeah. - Or you just said, you just had a name for 'em. Because when you look back in history and you see they went to brothels, they did this. - Yeah. I mean, they were just people just like us and human nature doesn't change. - Now, do you think if an ancient Greek or one of these fighters saw us, we would look fat to them but like what these guys? - We'd look like fucking giants. - Yeah, 'cause they were little kids. - They were little kids, I mean, they say that rollo. And today we're gonna talk about the Normans. Rollo, who founded, who started Normandy. The Viking that started Normandy. They said that the myths about him was that he was seven feet tall. They called him rollo the walker because he said he was too big to fit on a horse. So he had to walk to pillage. - Okay. - And historians believe he was six foot. He was one height, so they kind of exaggerated. But six foot back then, you looked like a fucking mutant. - And make Norma stick like the giant of canned horns. - Rollo's is a really good restaurant in Ridgewood, Queens, where I'm from. - Yeah. - So we're all gonna go to rollo's one day. - And rollo's would roll through. And the next thing you know, your family members who were female were impregnated with Viking kids. - It's just what it is that's probably where I came out and I gotta be honest with you cousin. It's just one of these situations that I haven't been in a while. I have an erection that I can't stop. And it's just growing and I keep talking it underneath my waistband, but my erection is just coming and it's bad. - Well, I have a problem is that when that hot black chick on the Chicago sky closed lined, so if he cutting him, I got hard. - It's just so neat. - So I don't know what that means. - It's Gabby Williams is the one who closed line. - No. - No, no. - No, her name is a lot harder to say unless you're from a certain community. - Yeah. - I needed to sound it out for me because it's a black name and they're both smoke shows. - It's what it is. - I kind of liked it. - I liked it. I went to the premiere of Ted Lasso. - In the Jauna, can you pronounce that? - Dijonet Carrington. - I went to the premiere of Ted Lasso last week and I saw Brianna Stewart there and she is a tall drink of water. - How's he doing? - He's a really cute, he's a good guy. - Okay. I did 10 laps. So and I I went on the on the red carpet and then jazz and I went and sat down and they wasn't going to Ted Lasso wasn't going to start for another 30 minutes. So Jazz said can we get out of here. So I went and I didn't see Ted Lasso. But I did see Brianna Stewart and she's a big girl and I'll tell you, even though I know we've discussed and guys joke around and say they could score in the W on Bay and I think most can if you could play. But a girl like Brianna Stewart, she's a tough lady, not going to be able to get around her. She's an exceptional athlete. Yeah. Yeah. Brianna Stewart's like six six. Yeah. She's a strong girl. One of the best best well players, a little slow a foot, but I don't know if you'll be able to post her up. Yeah. I you know you wouldn't be able to post her up and I yeah and I like her too. I like her. She's on the Liberty. Yeah. I think I'm a Liberty fan too. Oh yeah. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. I like her. She's definitely she was MVP of the league at some point. She's from Yukon and I asked my donors if they want to go see games. They just don't want to go. Yeah. They're girls don't want to go. Right? Men. You actually WNBA fans are a lot of men. Yeah. Right. And and when they finally do get like a little pop and girls get interested, what happens is they just start infighting. Yeah. And the whole thing. Patel and Clark that you had so much momentum and now it's ruined again. Yeah. I mean, at this point, I'm pretty sure that Caitlin Clark is responsible for the genocide in Gaza. It's just bad. The way he's being viewed when the when the players electric as the 11th best player. I love it. Sorry. 11th best guard in the league. Meanwhile, she's top three or two in points and assists. It just shows you that these bitches be hating bitches. They just be hating. They just be hating. They're just a little jealous and there's just none and make no mistake. I understand that she's getting about 20 30 mil from Gatorade. I'd want to hit that bitch with a stiletto too. Yeah. I mean, no, make no mistake. Caitlin Clark. The girls get in page and you see you pull up this picture. Jesse, you see this one. Yeah. Can you make this bigger? I don't think makes me go peowing and it's making this erection like out of control. You're honest to it. Nope. Not pre-honest to it? No. Well, it's the one kneel down with the thigh tattoo. I see a thigh tattoo and I want to get in it. Big. Is it a suburb? No. I'm just going with the lesbians. No, suburb's up. But suburb's in the right. No, but who's the one kneel down on one leg with the thigh tattoo? Who's that one? Cause I don't know who that is. I like her. But I like her. I'm going to take a stab. Shamika comics. Yeah. That's what I want to get in with. Big. Yeah. Well, I would pick that too. I picked the two bottom ones. Really? I picked the one squatting. You two Nick? Yeah. Pick the two bottom. Yeah. The one who's squatting down there like a cat will get cleaned. You like that one? Yeah. Yeah. Gorgeous women. Yeah. I mean, she's not a poop slurper, but she'll get cleaned. She'll get cleaned. Yeah. Yeah. There's levels to the games. Cause. Listen. Yeah. I want to talk to you about Mars. Man. It's because I want you because I was using Venus men and I'm not satisfied because I want you to feel good. I want you to feel the way that you know how to feel and look the way you know how to look. Okay. You stomach's holding onto more fat, fat, fat. You feel you're more irritable. You're less motivated. You're mentally drained. Okay. So I said to myself, how can I help? Yani. It's got high cortisol. Cortisol is your body. Stress hormone. You know, we got the work deadlines, the screens, the finances. It's all that. So I said Mars, men is what we need. It helps you feel more mood stable, less stress, more consistent, natural energy. It's not like you're going to cup of coffee. It's a steadier sense of drive throughout the day. You get improved sleep quality cause. It's cute. It's good for people who are a little up and age because your testosterone levels are a little low. So this helps you in every way. I gave it a try. It's very nice. Healthy testosterone levels. That's what we need. And you get 90 day money back guarantee if you don't feel better. So that's when I like a product that puts its money where it's mouth is 90 day money back guarantee. There's no risk. Worst case, you don't absolutely love it. And then you get your money back. But 91% of users get higher energy levels. Yeah. No weird stimulants, no synthetic hormones. It's all natural ingredients to support healthy testosterone production. Supports healthy T levels, energy and stamina. And like Chrissy said, so for a limited time, our listeners are getting 50% off for life plus free shipping and three free gifts at mengo2mars.com. That's mengo2mars.com for 50% off and three free gifts when you check out. After you purchase, they will ask where you heard about them. You know what to do. Please support the history. High heinous and tell them that we sent you. That's it. Eyes. If you're running a business, you always got to be reachable. Okay. One of the best decisions I did last year is I got honeypotted and I went with Quo. Yes. Cause some of the best decisions I've done is I started doing Taibo and I use Quo. Cause Quo today's episode brought to you by Quo that's Q-U-O. The business phone system built so you never miss an opportunity. I love Quo Q-U-O. First of all, when we got this company, I said, is this the one that's skated for China but she's American? No, that's good. And I said, Oh, Quo, and I've taken it into my life and I gotta be honest, I have not missed a call or text from Yani in about a year because I got Quo. Quo is very good. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo and it's a beautiful thing. All your calls, texts and voice mail is living in one place so anyone can on your team can pick up a conversation, see the full history and respond fast. It's the number one rated business phone system on G2 trusted by over 90,000 businesses. Honey, money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Yeah, always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for free. Plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com/hyenas, that's Q-U-O.com/hyenas. Say hello with Quo. Now, Guy, again, what I'm always fascinated by is you again sent me a text the other day and you said, Do you want to go? You said, Do you want to talk about Norman? Yeah. And I said, Do you mean Mark Norman? And you said, No, the, the, the, the Normans. And I said, Do you mean the Normans? And you said, Yeah. Yeah. So what got you pewing about, about, about Normandy, which is basically ancient France, right? So the Normans, what made you go pewing about them? But maybe you go pewing about them is I was just giggling over the fact that when you think about it, they're just, they were just Viking dudes who learned French and then just like went back out and like murdered because that's what's essentially what they are. They were just like, Hey, we're going to, we're going to conquer here. And then the French were so weak, like I think it was Charles the simple or whatever was just like cut a deal with Rolo and he's like, Look, dude, please, please, just please, stop. Like you know, they tried, they're like, It's bad. It's wrong. Instead of appropriate or not use the pronouns, you're being very mean to people who are large. Just please stop women or women, but that, and they try to, and Rolo just kept killing people and raping people. And so then they just go, Okay, okay, please stop here. Yeah. Here's Normandy. Just please take that. It's yours now. Right. As long as you just stop killing us, we're French people. We want to eat against. We want to cheat on our wives. We want to have better tears. And we want to eat snails and we're just, we, we're not about that light. I want to throw a powdered wig on and just damn, yeah, they're just going just a, found your little Republican Nazi right wing white supremacist kind of land up there and just leave us dems over here to just smoke weed, sit around and judge. Yeah, it's just we want to just get our liberal arts degrees and figure everything out. Yeah. Yeah. So the Normans, they were Viking Raiders and, you know, who you said, who just learned France, there's a great show called The Vikings, which is on the history channel. They talk about rollo. He was a bad mofo. He was a vicious guy. So the Vikings, they repeatedly raid the French coast and they, they sailed up the sign river patty. Then, as you said, Charles the simple made a deal with the Viking leader rollo, rollo got the territory around the sign exchange for stopping the raids. But I'm sure they probably looked at, they looked at Charles the simple as a little bitch for that, right? They looked at him as a little bitch boy, but the Charles the simple survived because of that. They've looked at him kind of like the way some comics look at Tony Hinchcliffe. They go, this guy's bad, and we can't stop him. So just go over there, let's make a deal, let's make a deal. You go over there, like we can't stop your popularity. We can't stop your momentum, but we're going to draw a line in the sand. Yeah. We're going to draw a line in the sand. You're over there. We're over there. And that's what happened and rollo took the deal because rollo was able to get some money out of it. I like the word raids. It's kind of like when you say a soldier got injured, right? No, Ray Allen gets injured, Ray Allen sprained his ankle. Yeah. Soldiers get maimed. That's what it is. When you hear the word raid, what they really mean is they murdered and raped. Yeah. They were there doing, I mean the Vikings were so, they liked it, yeah, they really liked it. What they enjoyed it, they went and they raided all these coastal towns, spread all over Europe. You know, Rousse, Russia is named after the Vikings that fucking pillaged that area. They were the Rousse Vikings. The Rousse. Yeah. Rousse, it's a skit. Vikings ruled the world for hundreds of years. They got in a lot of these elite areas and people just made concessions, concessions. And then they just, they assimilated into where they were and started to get in French and whatever. Well, that's what it is. So the, you know, think about the Normans, the way easy way to do it is, you know, they come to northern France, they get the territory from Charles the simple, whatever. And then by the 11th century, they weren't really Vikings anymore. So about 300 years later, they were French-speaking Christians of Scandinavian ancestry and they were known as the Normans. Yeah. since we're going to get to Williams. in the conqueror, but this is really how like modern day England is created through this. - Yeah, so England was up there. And so, Rolo starts the thing, starts Normandy, and then Rolo has some kids, and then they go through the line, and then they become Christians, they become Knights, they do all the stuff, they learn French, they learn how to eat back at-- - But they're Vikings. - But they keep going, they're something missing. They go, I like being French, I like having a cigarette, I like having a baguette, but they're something missing. What's this thing missing? There's a hole in me. - Right. - Oh, I know what it is. I need to kill, I need to kill and rape. - That's what it is. - I need to conquer, I need to go back out 'cause at the heart we're Vikings, so then Rolo's great, great, great grandson, who is basically a John Snow of Normandy, he's a bastard son, right? He's a bastard son of his pops, who I think was Robert or Charles or one of these guys. - One of these guys. - And his wife was a concubine, his wife was basically his mistress. - Sure. - And so-- - He's nice to bring back concubines. - Nice. - He's nice if somebody could legalize concubines. - Just a concubine. - And I will say-- - And I will say, I know that people are afraid, some people are afraid, I should say. I'm like, you know, I'm Donnie, Muslim mayors, or them taking, you know, the Muslim Islamic faith, taking over politics. I say bring it on because they are the most likely to bring back concubines is Islamic leaders. They'll bring it back to quickest. - Yeah, I don't think, yeah, for them, if you want to hire them. - Yeah, I think you can, I think in certain places you can have it. - Yeah, so he swatted. - Definitely, Dearborn Michigan, you can have it. I think Dearborn Michigan, it's a little different. - Yeah. - Literally. - So, go ahead. - Pun intended. - So, he has to fight, I mean, this kid is a brilliant, savvy survivor from the beginning. And he survives assassination attempts, right? - William the Conqueror. - Yeah, because William the Conqueror is the illegitimate son of who's his pops, Robert or something? Who's his pops? - Oh, William the Conqueror. - His pops was somebody, his pops was the guy. And so his mom was a concubine, so he's like a John Snow. - His father was Robert the first Duke of Normandy, commonly called Robert the Magnificent or Robert the Devil, depending on what side of the aisle you're on. - Yeah, Robert the Devil, as he's known in the Hispanic and black communities. - Yes. - Robert the Devil. - Yeah, Robert the Devil as the Israelites call him. - Right. - He's Robert the first, he was the Duke of Normandy from 1026 until his death. And his illegitimate son, who we're talking about, the man in question, William, the famous William, was born in 1028 in Normandy. And his mom was a chick named Arlette. - When we sound like a girlfriend queen? - Hey, it's Arlette, how you doing? - It's Arlette coming to me. She bringing some pound cakes together. - I tell you what, my husband, Robert, who left me to fucking scumbag. - Would you believe that Christopher finally got married? Oh my God, yeah. I just can't believe he even settled in Richmond. That was odd for me, 'cause he loves the neighbors. - He keeps moving around, bounce around. He's got a screw loose. - He's got a screw loose, is what I tell you. But his father, his father. I always loved his father. - His father's a nice kid. He was always coaching the baseball team. Now I heard he's having visions of people coming out of paintings and shit. I don't know what this fuck is going on. - I don't know what's going on, but it's been anyway. - But anyway. - Yeah, good to see you all later. I'll see you at Sunday Mass at Saint Matthias. - Yeah, I tell Agnes, I say hello. So William the Conqueror, yeah, go up a little bit. Jesse Messy, there it is. Yeah. So William the Conqueror, his big claim to fame, the big thing, the Duke of Normandy. William the Conqueror invades England in 1066 with all his Normandy Vikings and the Battle of Hastings. He defeats Harold Godwinson. But the Battle of Hastings is really where it's the beginning of what modern day English society is now, cities of London and all that. It all comes from this raid. Norman Expansion, he kept going. And then the French and the English kind of beef that they still have starts here. - It's all, yeah. - This is all comes back to 1099. - Yeah, 1066. - 1066, sorry. - 1066. - 1066 are upside down. - Yep, so, and then they keep going. They take over Sicily, whatever. But really the Battle of Hastings, this is one day, October 14th, 1066. It didn't last, so it lasted like a few hours. - Yeah. - I sent you that AI video. - Yeah. - What's out of that? - Yeah, she could catch that. - Yeah, so what AI is doing now is they're showing you how, here, let me send, I'll send it to you, Jesse, 'cause you just pull it up. Yeah, here it is. What they're doing, I time travel to the Battle of Hastings, can we play this and not get dinged? Yeah, play this, because this is really shows it, yeah, like shows what's going on. - So, I'm in the East Coast of England. - She's gorgeous, this girl. - She's fixed right now. - She's crazy. - She's picking off. William of Normandy and his army has just arrived from France and they look serious about invading to England, 700 ships and they brought the horses on boats. Like, nobody does that, that's insane. And there's no one here. Nobody's stopping them. The whole English army is like 300 miles away. This is the English army. They just beat a Viking invasion up north. Now they have to march 270 miles back. - Yeah, so pause for a second. So what's interesting is, is, you know, the Normans were now, you know, there were a couple of generations at the being French, even though they had Vikings roots. But Viking raids, different tribes of Vikings were constantly raiding everywhere. So there was another bunch of Vikings that raided England like days before. - Right. - So this kid was busy, he just beat them. It was like, and then five days later, he had to march down to fight with him. - That's why he's going to lose. Yeah, you know, they were everywhere like, yeah. - Chinese. - Yeah. - Weiss en Xien. - Yeah, let's see. So this is Harold who we're talking about. - The King of England. How do you feel about fighting against tomorrow? Are your men tired? - Fumes. Yeah. - Okay. I'll take that as a yes. - Harold, God, what's in King of England? - Look at this. - When the guys were died, three men were killed. - This is probably what it looked like for real. - Absolutely. - Absolutely. - Absolutely. - Yeah. - That's what it looked like. I mean, we know from the outfits we know. And then you just, yeah. You build it. - Start piecing it together. - Together, yeah. - Looking at what the ancient writings were and you say, this is what it is. Yeah. - Yeah. - He playing it just. This is fascinating to me. - William says Harold swore on oath to support his claim instead and broke it. William even got the Pope's blessings of the invasion. So as far as he's concerned, this isn't a war. It's a debt being collected. - Wow. - Yeah, it's probably something how it looked like. - Look at what they tell you, look. - That's the shield wall. House carols at the front. Everyone else farmers mostly packed in behind them. And that's the entire English plan. - To wall. - Called this ridge, don't move, don't break. So this kid behind me is like 16. He was harvesting a field a week ago. And now he's, okay, okay, that's them. - Yes, so they have to come uphill. The vites have to come uphill. - For sure. - On the infantry and the horses, they have to get up this whole hill. And that's the only way to see them. - The Normans have to come up at home. Which if you are the high ground in ancient times, you can win. - It's holding, like it's been always in the war. - Even, why, now it's in the war. - Not as much now. - Yeah. - No. - Actually good point. - Why are they chasing them? Don't chase them. It was fake. The retreat was fake. Did a fake, they rebained Laura out there. But Normans, the Viking Normans are kids. - Yeah, you know who else? You see that? Oh, the hunt's big. Fake, famed, called famed retreats. Big, big. Yeah. - Get 'em out. - All right, let's see, yeah. And then you go like this, come right back out. - Right back out. - So Harold got killed in the battle. - I think he found his, but most of England hasn't agreed to that yet. Not even close. Within 20 years, hundreds of castles go up, including the Tower of London you see today. Nearly every cathedral gets rebuilt through scratch. - Church like a kid big. - That's William, right there, being crowned. And it's already going wrong. The crowd's cheering so loud, the guards outside think it's a riot and set fire to the street. But this right here is the start of modern England. New language, new laws, new ruling class. So I'm in England. - Pretty sick. Yeah, so that's when we get, you know, the angles in the sacks and like English is mostly angle sacks in language. And then you throw in some Latin from the wrong time, then you throw in some French over here. - That's how English starts to get created. - Norwegian words, you know. - Right. - And so that's the modern English is a combination of all these things. - Even though speaking starts at 1066, pretty much. - That's right there, baby. - Yeah, so that's really might be our real founders. - Yeah, and what you had over there before was the angles in the sacks and those Germanic tribes over there that settled there. But the Vikings like to move around. - Yeah. - They like to really, they like to take a peak. - That's the thing is with me and how much I move. So I kinda, it's just every sign points to Viking. - That's why I'm telling you, in the wrong, I'm telling you, go listen to our bonus episode where I really break down what your anxiety is you were born in the wrong century. - patreon.com/historyanus is what's broken down. - I think you just have the heart of a pillager. - Yeah. - And by the way, that's the thing. I knew if I was in a different time, I think I would be a pillager. - Right. - I think we'd all be a pillager. - A pillager? - We'd find ways to be pillagers. And then I think pillagering is a really hard habit to break. - Right. - I don't think it's, I think you can get a little out of hand and like drinking and people going, whoa, you're pillaging a little too much. - Right. - And you go really, yeah, we have to have intervention 'cause Yani's been pillaging a lot. - Yeah. - So we sit him down and you go Yani, you've been raping pillaging like every day. Sometimes you raping pillage alone. - Yeah. - This is getting out of hand. - Can't do it anymore. - And then you gotta go into the program for pillaging. - Yeah, that's what it is. - You've got to really abstain from pillaging. - Yeah, it's what it is, yeah. It's probably the most addictive thing to pillage. - I don't know that you can come back from it. I think once you do it once, I think that's it. - I think that's it. - It's just a pillager. - It's just your pillager from there on it. - Yeah, it's a couple pillager. - Yeah, I mean, obviously you look back in history and it looks horrifying. But in the moment, the guys are probably having a lot of fun. - They were having a lot of fun. There's no problem. No question they were lit on something. - Oh my God, but they hammered. - Yeah, because the rumor is there was another tribe, I think they were called the Berserkers. That's where the word comes, Berserkers. And the rumor was those kids used to do mushrooms. - Yeah. - And just have at it. - Yeah. - So they didn't think they were killing a person. They've seen dragons, they've seen all types of fun stuff. - It's just what it is. - Yeah, it was more like Harry Potter for them. - Look at that. Yeah, if you mean the Viking Berserkers, they were a type of warrior associated with the Norse world. They would have extreme battle frenzy. The word Berserker comes from old Norse Berserker. It is often interpreted as bear shirt. Suggesting warriors wore symbolically adopted the power of bears. And yeah, they just would fight with aggression, ignore pain and fear, howl or roar before battle, bite shields going to translike frenzy and fight with little or no armor. - Yeah, I mean these guys, it's funny history. We forget like how brutal, how brutal. I mean, so the theories are that the Berserkers, used a mushroom, a type of, they would take in trumps. Kids weren't micro-dose, they probably took a whole dose. And then that makes the Berserking fun, right? That makes the Berser, it just gives it a little bit, it gives you something to play for. - Yeah, yeah. - As you would say, I like that expression. - It gives you something to play for. - Something to play for. And so I think you could pretty confidently say, when you look at any war, any battle throughout history, the soldiers were high. They were on some, how could you not be? How can you war sober? - Yeah. - You can't war sober. - If you're going to war sober, you're psycho. - You're a fuck, if you're white knuckle in war. - No, dude. - I mean, who does that? - You gotta go when your pops was in Korea, what you think he was on something? - I never asked him that. - That would've been nice to know. - Yeah. - All I know from that person is. - Just what it is, you told me that without asking it. - Just, yeah, you just told me that. - Only information I got. - Yeah, it's just what it is. So sometimes you gotta, yeah, you could do it. - It's only told me, and he told me that war is hell, and he said, the reason why he was so decorated is 'cause you can't pin a metal on a dead guy. - That's all I know. - That's all you know. - That's all I know. - And again, you didn't ask for it. - I did not ask for it. Nor did I ask for him to tell me my mom had fumes. - I did not ask for that. - Yeah. - You gotta deal with it. - I gotta deal with it. And sometimes my dad was a war veteran. - Yeah, that was a war veteran. It's once in a while he's just gonna tell you like it is. (laughing) - Yeah. - Whether you want to hear it or not. It's kind of fun to just talk about your mom and dad now, like even publicly say like my dad to the wife at fumes because it's just like their dad. - They're dead. - It's kinda nice. - It's kinda nice so you can just tell the truth about the situation. - So when your parents got for bed, something, you will just become a fully gay man. - That's kind of your struggle, right? - I imagine. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Is it like deep down, you feel like you maybe gay and the reason why you're not gay is because your parents are alive? - Why? - Or is it more to do with the pressure from your group chat? - I just think. - Or is it both? Well, I think it's a combination of things, but I think the main, I've talked about on stage before, when my dad dies, you know, if I just think that I'm gonna take a good look inside and see what's in there. - Yeah. - And I suspect I'll find some sugar in the tank. - You might find a little bit. - Yeah. Maybe that's why you're pre-diabetic because there's a lot of sugar in the tank. - Cause I've been having a little bit of an issue in my house, having some pests. - I haven't had some pests. But I'm talking about ones that were in the house, they're running around. So I called up a little company called Pestee. - Pestee's nice because a lot of times you want to save a couple of dollars and do it yourself. - Yes. - With Pestee, you can do it on your own, they give you the kit, they give you the know-how. And you got, sometimes you don't need to call an exterminator. You got ants in your pants? - Yeah. - Yeah, just get Pestee. I like Pestee, okay, it's awesome, it gets rid of over a hundred types of bugs from spiders and ants to roaches and scorpions. Pestee's kid and pet friendly, the Pestee signs they ship are fully registered and have been used in hospitals and schools all over the country. Pestee offers 100% bug free guarantee or your money back. If the bugs don't go away, you're going to get a full refund. The kit includes a sprayer, a mixing bag, Pestee sign, gloves and instructions. You can complete in less than 10 minutes. - Yeah, you can scrub the bugs, baby. - What is it? - Bugs out of your summer sanctuary with Pestee, go to Pestee.com/ihinas for an extra 10% off your order today. That's P-E-S-T-I-E dot com/ihinas for an extra 10% off. - Now let me ask you this, cause this battle of Hastings, the 1066, the Vikings, the Normans, you know, you find it fascinating, these people fight, they have a good time, whatever, they created all this modern-day England. I mean, now do you believe, because they're also as conspiracies and all that, do you believe that these Viking invaders, these people were otherworldly and were in ancient alien race that got put on here on this planet because they just looked different. They sounded different. They were able to conquer so much so quickly. What do you have to say to that? - No, I think for that, there's very convincing natural explanations. - And what is it? - The kids lived up north, they didn't get a lot of sun, so they got pale, cause that benefited them. - How did they get so tall? - They got tall because they had a diet, a high calorie, high protein diet of fish and meat, and so they became pretty much in strong. I think it's cold up there, so they got bored, I think they got bored. I think they were a little depressed, and I think pillaging was something that just kind of solved the problem. I think they said, "Hey, we're sitting up here, it's cold, it's shitty," and then one guy came back and goes, "Who's translated to, hey, I just killed the guy." And I feel alive, and the rest of them said, "I want in on that." And so I think they just all started doing that to feel good, and the Vikings definitely discovered America before Columbus. - I hate to tell you that we shouldn't be celebrating Christopher Columbus, we should be celebrating wars. - He discovered it first, I mean, they, it says, they said that Columbus knew. Columbus had access to knowledge of early Norse voyages and deliberately concealed them. There's evidence Columbus had some geographical information about the North Atlantic. So listen, the kid probably knew the Kensington Roonstone, which was discovered in Minnesota time, 1898, supposedly proves Vikings traveled deep into North America in 1362. - Yeah, and that in Minnesota now has a veil over it with Arabic lighting over it. - Times change, everything's changed. Everyone has a run, William the Conqueror, he focused on ruling Normandy, and he focused on ruling England. But the kids, they liked the pillage, so they did take a couple bites out of Scotland. They took a couple bites out of the coast of Ireland, but they mainly focused on England. And meanwhile, his cousin was down there and he took Sicily and he took Sicily from, who, the Muslims? - The Muslims. - So the Muslims were in Sicily, and that would have been a totally different history if his cousin, I don't remember what his cousin's name was, but he was like, I'm going to go up and take England, right? You're going to go down, you're going to go down, and you got, you got a different job. - Yeah. - All right, your job is a little different, what I want you to do, is you got more of a claim for Christ. - Yeah. - Yours is a little bit more of a holy mission. - ours is about money, power, we're going to go berserk over there, and you know, but afterwards we're going to say, hey, we're going to live with you people and you guys are just going to submit to our rule. Over there, I want you to, I want you to remove some stuff. - Yeah. - I want you to remove them. - Yeah, it's a cleaning surface. - Yeah, so it's different. Now, the here's the thing, if you just, if you go back, go to that Viking bald eagle torture thing. The Vikings were pretty, you know, I saw this in that show, the Vikings on the history, in the history channel, they were, no, go down a little bit, boom, the blood eagle. So they said that what, if you could just, just pull up exactly what it was, but I think what it was is what they would do is they would, they would cut open their ribs and pull their lungs out from under their ribs and wrap them around their collar bones, and you would have to do that and show no pain. And if you showed any pain, you were going to hell, but if you showed no pain, you were going right to Valhalla. - You were going right to Valhalla and Odin couldn't do nothing about it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, do that one, you had to explain that one, because the blood eagle, I remember seeing it in the show, and again, because it was the Vikings, it was shirtless men running around, I was getting a horned up, but I remember when they showed this, when they showed this torture execution, this torture method, I remember, I remember going a little limp, because I was like, if that's true, that sucks. - Yeah. By the way, when you go to Sweden, or you go to Norway or whatever, and you cheers, they go, school, school, school, now the rumor is that's because the Vikings used to drink out of skulls. - Sure. - But that's not actually, that's just a myth. It's actually the word for bowl or cup, got it. - Okay, so here it was, here was the blood eagle ritualized execution, described medieval north sagas, where captives' back was carved open. Their ribs severed from the spine, and pulled outward like wings, and their lungs drawn out. This was for-- - It started on to the lambs. - Yes, people, they really hated, and it was an offering to Odin, place the living victim face down, cut an eagle's shape with outstretched wings into the flesh of the back, use sharp blades or access to slice the ribs away from the spine, pull the ribs and skin outward to resemble bloody wings, extract the wings through an open cavity. - Yeah, I mean, what you're seeing is, this is what people did before television, so they just had a different idea of fun, now? - It's just what do they do? - They just had a different idea of fun. - Just what? I call you up and say, "Hey, do you want to go stroll? "Do you want to get some vanluin?" And these guys would go, "Hey, do you want to go string somebody "up by their ribs and pull them out and make them look "like a butterfly?" And you want to go blood eagle, somebody's down on fifth avenue in the pot that changed a little bit. You want to pull their ribs and skin outward. Yeah. And just to look at them. Yeah. You want to create some murder art? Yeah. So they just had a different idea. They just wanted it. They were just built a little different. They were a little bit more vicious. The Vikings, when you really look, I read a book a long time ago, it was like a history of the Vikings. And I remember reading it going like, "Wow, they don't really teach you this in school. "They don't really teach you how brutal." I mean, they would kill priests, they would, I mean, they were just. Women, children, it didn't matter, they killed everybody. The closer you lived to the sea boss, I mean, it was like. Guy. Yeah, 'cause those guys, they like to be on boats, hop on, hop off. They were doing sort of like the way you do a cruise of the Greek islands where you spend one day on there. That's kind of what the Vikings did. They hopped off and instead of collecting chopsticks and having one Margareta, what they did is they raped you, sister killed your priest and they hopped back on a boat. It's called a Viking, poor, Viking tour. And the thing is, the different places they would go, it's just those are the different people they would kill. Like, do you want to go on a Muslim cruise? That means we're going to go bald eagle. That's right. Go bald eagle, Christians, we can go bald eagle, Jews. Well, just go bald, you pick. Yeah, that's what they probably call it, too. Like, you want to go bald eagle today? Yeah, and they were just a little bored. So yeah, so just look, I know that the world may not be exactly true liking and present day, wherever you're living. But just know it's not as bad as getting bald eagles by a Viking. It's nice to have a little bit of perspective. Sure. It's nice to know that William, the conqueror, abolished slavery in England. But he didn't do it to be nice. He did it because creating surfdom was even more degrading and financially beneficial. It's just, it's nice to know there was a period called the medieval times where everyone claimed to be Christian, and they lived in completely opposite to Jesus. It's just when Jesus showed up three medieval times, he'd go, whoa, whoa, guys. Guys, this is not exactly what I had in mind. Yeah, yeah. So people were more like animals until we made machines. Really, right. So I wonder if with AI, we'll continue to just be more peaceful. Because really, that's our true blood, right? That's really what our true blood is. What, to be peaceful? No, to be vicious. Industrialization is like our true blood. Like we didn't only really start to consider like United Nations and peace and all these things until we had like machines doing most of the hard work. Yeah, before that, nobody ever wanted peace. There was always constant war. They wanted slaves, they had big, big time. Yeah, slaves were something you just wanted. Now, because slaves, you can make them work and you could also fuck them whenever you want. So they were some benefits to it from the slave owners perspective. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's horrible for the slaves, but listen. William the Conqueror. Like most people in history, it's a little bit of a good and bad. It's a mix from modern, from a modern sensibility. You look back and you want to take his statues down. Right. But then if we take his statue down, we got to take everyone's statue down because even Martin Luther King liked pussy. Everybody's got a wrinkle. Gandhi liked a little young pussy. It's just what we call inconvenient truths, and we accept it all in Jesus' name. It's what it is. And we said that we were going to do a little series called inconvenient truths during the first record. And we never did it. We never got to anything. There was a bunch of series. We're going to do leaky roof and we still haven't done it, but that's why you love us. But that's why you love us. And that's why we're getting. We're going tomorrow to look at podcast studios because we might be getting our own space to do more work. And most people would say, hey, that's a good business decision. You guys will be able to turn out more content. But we're going to look at studios because we want a nice place to walk around. There has a lot of restaurants and has a lot of cute stuff. That's just what it is. It's just how we're built. It's nothing to fight. Other people go, hey, this is a good business district. This is something. Me and you go, where is cute to walk? That's what it is. Yeah. So it just makes us different. It just makes us different. And it's who we are. And it's because of you, the beautiful fans of patreon.com/history and is that we're even allowed to do. That's what we want to say. Thank you. And we also want to read the names of the newest members of the May Charkey, the people who have decided to just come and join the patreon. Not only do they get ad free episodes, they get bonus episodes that are only heard exclusively at patreon.com/history and is so welcome to the May Charkey. Welcome. Me, Chinese, me play joke. We put fentanyl in your coke. Put them on the list. Wow. Put them on the list right off the bat. Okay, so that's interesting. That's huge. So we have a potential first. That's called the LeBron James. They came out early. We came out early. Yeah. And got, so we, this is never happened before. We've had a couple of them that have made the funds. But nobody's ever one coming out strong. Right. We're going to see if you live up to the high one. Pick. Then we got Elliott Pages, Juno, baby Achilles. Okay. Then we got boy named Jew. Um, that's a boy named Stu. Sue. Boy named Sue. Boy named Jew. Yeah. Throw them on there. Get them on the list. Throw them on the list. Yeah. I knew it was a boy named Sue's from, it's from, that's a song, right? Yeah. That's what's his name. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. What's it from? The song. Boy named Sue. Johnny Cash. Johnny Cash. Johnny Cash. Um, Jake Klein. Oh, three. Jake Clark. Tom Cammieieri. Then we got, how do I convince my GF to try anal? It's been four years, four years. I can't take it. Okay. Kids go through a little struggle. All right. Sudo penis boner. Anthony Williams. John Terry. Blue collar kid. Built like a twink. So you know, I have a side job. Okay. I know he's got four. Yeah. Tristan Hockstable. Eddie Sierra. Sierra. Freddie Godfingered. Mm-hmm. Jake Barge. Chimney Sweeping Flutang Clan. Flutang Clan. Nice try. Why does my wife Sausage gutter taste like Leroy Glue? Sausage gutter is hilarious. Leroy's. Kids talk about it. I fuck yeah. I mean, we're going to directs to that. And I know that this is not a family podcast. You guys don't get together to listen to this. Yeah. This is something you do when you're in the car alone. Just know. I know. Wherever you go. Yeah. Just know that somebody out there, your wife calls it your Sausage gutter. Okay. So then we got Kaya, MJ, Can't Spell Good because I'm a stupid L-Roy. What's an L-Roy? I guess they meant Lee Can't Spell Good. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Well, then she's black. She looks like. Yeah. But I don't know if he's the different picture, but that's not okay. Yeah. Jason Hagopian, Cum Commando, chicken finger, Ivan the squeak, quickie, nobody cares about cholesterol. Wait. My doctor. Kids just sick. You talking about it? Yeah. Yeah. L-Roy trans, aka Ding's Dong ditched. Okay. Not that. Not that. I use my girl's chimney as a serial bowl for free cocoa puff. What about the list? Okay. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. That's a good one. That's a good one. It's just one. Yeah. It's really funny. Yes. My conservative dad won't stop calling my antidepressants mom Donnie's tic-tac. Put him on the tip. Put him on the list. Just one. It's the list. No, he got a peacock's cousin. It's poo pass. Will. Proud dad of a Somali daycare grad. Put him on the list. What it is? It's strong today. Cliff Hackney. Mr. AZT. The scholar bill. Fong into the cuxos. Wait. Thong. Okay. Fong. I know. Middle village penis midget. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Drexler. Strong less. Sorry. Sweaty hands. Call them Indian bidets. What about the list? Just what it is. Ways on Cheeing. Ah. How are these people so funny, dog? How are they so fun? In a basketball time. Basketball time. I couldn't come up with these names. They're the best of all time. Best fans ever. How do they, like, do they sit around like for a year till they nail it? Yeah. Your mom. Then we got keep sitting on my own nuts like a whoopee cushion. Drexler. I'm sorry. It's a strong list. Celebrated 42 with some birthday glue. Matt. Famous Amos. Waterboarding. A.K. Muzzy Baptism. Ways on Cheeing. I mean, it's got to go on the list. I mean, it's just too funny. I mean, it's bad. It's not going to win because we can't put it up in lights, but it's too good. Then we got only racist when they board the plane on speakerphone. Glad to see you. Drexler. Derek the Honduran. Uh-uh. Hindside 420. Don't remove the banana string before sticking it up my ass. We may have to stop. This is to boy list. It's got four more. And then what? Yeah. Jesus. Got a vibrating butt plug in my ass. For sale. Well-loved. Vintage Dildo pickup location. Level two. Prison. Glock 263. Amsterdam. A.K. And Frank's out. He weaved for it. Uh-uh. Chubby special needs Latina. Call me retorted. Um, then we got nicotine. Fiend with a zinny in my peen. Latta 14. So do you want me to stop there? I want you to stop there because we have way too many already. Okay. All right. We already have too many. You just shared one page? That was just one page. I mean, it was chock full of. Yeah. Too much. Yeah. Okay. It would be unfair to keep going. So all right. All right. So we'll save that. Okay. So here is the list. We have me, Chinese, me, play joke. You got to keep that around. Okay. Boy named Jew. We're going to, we're going to, we got to chicken finger that. Okay. Good one. My girls chimmed. as a cereal ball for free cocoa puff. - We gotta keep that, we gotta keep that around. - Yes. - Proud dad of a Somali daycare grad. It's really good, it's a little bit old news, right? We're gonna direct slur it. - All right, funny though. It's just the way this game works. - Sweaty hands, call them Indian bidets. - We gotta keep that around. - Then we got border boarding, AK muzi baptism. - We gotta keep it around. - So fucked up, it's so funny. - So we got four. - We got me, Chinese, me play joke, we put fentanyl in your Coke. We got, I use my girls chimney as a cereal bowl for free cocoa puffs. - Border boarding, AK muzi baptism. - Okay, okay, okay. I can't believe we have this problem two fucking episodes in a row. I mean, they're almost getting these, I don't know how they're coming up with these names, dude. I'm gonna, the sweaty hands, I'm gonna direct slur out of these. - Okay, yeah, okay. - I'm gonna stretch through that. - It is very funny though, to Indian bidets. - It is, but is that a right decision? - I think so. - Compared to the other ones, right? - So then it's between me, Chinese, me play joke, we put fentanyl in your Coke. - It's too good. - I use my girls chimney as a cereal bowl for free cocoa puffs. - It's too good. - Or water boarding, AK muzi baptism. - Dude, you gotta put 'em in the fence. I mean, you think? - I'm not choosing. It's gotta go to the fence. - What do you guys think? - Just 'cause it's happening two times in a row. That's not our fault. We don't predict this stuff. That's too, I'm not making a decision. - What do you think? - What do you think? - Those are three winners, guys. - Yeah, those are three winners, but let's put it to the fence. They did a good job last week. Let's see what they could do. - Yeah, okay. - So guys, go to patreon.com/historyhienus to see these three names. You have to vote. The only way to vote is over there at the Patreon. I don't know. Again, it's between me, Chinese, me play joke, me put fentanyl in your Coke. That's a winner. - That's a winner. - It's three winners. - These are the choices. - Yeah, so listen, don't get mad. Don't say, oh, you guys are getting lays. You're not picking them. When it comes to a situation like this, where you get three winners, we need like, you know, used to call a friend on that show. - Yeah, well, what's it be a million? - Yeah, we need help. - We need help. And you know, you guys get involved in it. And we think that when we put it to the vote, again, I know that we picked the correct three names last week because it's not like there was a clear cut winner. - No. - Our fans were divided again. I bet you they're gonna be divided on this. I guarantee you this will be even more divided last week. Go vote, let us know.