The First Responder & The Dark Knight | Son of a Boy Dad #421

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To learn more about the Chase Sapphire Preferred card, go to Chase.com slash Sapphire Preferred. That's Chase.com slash Sapphire Preferred. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC, subject to credit approval. Terms apply. All righty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is July 21st. It is 920 a.m. Last one's out, first one's in. We are here live from HQ. Three. The grind set does not stop. Another day, another dollar. What have you guys been up to since the last time I've seen you guys? You boys were up late. Texting in the group chat at one. Of course. I was already getting stressed out about not being able to sleep by one. So you were up late too. I had to eat. I know, me too. I had to eat. I was hungry. Yeah, it was unfortunate. I ate at midnight. What'd you eat? I'll tell you what I ate. I mean, I had some leftovers. I had some leftover sort of noodles, like lo mein kind of noodles. And then I thought that would be enough. I told myself that should be enough. And then it wasn't enough. So then I had a banana and I was like, surely that will be the end of that. But then I still sort of thought, well, not enough. And then I went into some extremely old Greek yogurt, which I poured some cookie granola on top of and some honey. And I just sort of ate that until I felt sick. And then I was like, that's enough. You know, what's a good Greek yogurt? What's a good Greek yogurt snack? You ever have the peanut butter M&Ms? Like they're kind of like the Reese's Pieces almost. If you ever get some of those, throw them in a little Greek yogurt. Great dessert. We were biking home at 1130 last night and we went past a Greek yogurt spot that had a line around the block, like a double twist. It was a twisted line that was three people thick at 1130 on a Monday night. Damn. I think it's called Mika. It's on 7th Ave. Is it Froyo? Yeah, yeah. Okay, that makes more sense. I thought people were just lining up to get like Chobani. I don't know. To get some jiggly slop. I've had it. He said it's worth it. He said it's worth the 130 line. Well, I think it all depends on how long the line is as to whether or not it is worth it. Yeah. At a certain point, nothing is worth it. The frustrating part of it is that. As you wait in line, you watch all these chicks come out in yoga pants and shit and proceed to like film their cup. Oh, yeah. They're all aspiring influencers hitting the hot in Vogue food spot in New York. The hard to get Greek yogurt, you know, frozen yogurt place. And you just want to tell them like, you're not going to make it. Look around. See how much hotter she is than you. You're not even tall. Yeah. Like, what are you doing? You're not who Jalen Brunson was talking about in his parade speech. Correct. You're not the New York is for everybody person. Anyone can succeed here. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe if you were trying this in Milwaukee. Maybe it would fly there. You'd make a splash. But here it's too saturated. You're too late. You're too late. I mean, everybody can't go viral. Correct. Everybody can't come. For the same cup of frozen yogurt, too. But he said the toppings of the fro-yo were. He said that they're. But that's what they are. That's what they always do. He said it's different. He's saying it. Really? I don't know if he's getting paid by them. This place. Like, I've had some. Every time I've got fro-yo, it's always like they really focus on the toppings. No. Trust me. This is new. Something's different. Do tell. We're talking pistachio? Yes. Yeah. That's what I guess. How did you get it on the first guess? How did you know that? Because it's a topping on everything. I said I got the pancakes and they had pistachio. Unbelievable. That's a great pull from you. Yeah. They got this pistachio sort of crackle. This crispy crackle creamy thing that they pat it on on the outside. And then, not for nothing, the yogurt itself is the best. It makes, you know, pink berry and whatnot taste like shit. Pink berry. It's a good one. That's a good pull. It was good. Pink berry was great. And then this. Remember, I mean, all those places sort of faded away. Yeah. Frozen yogurt lost its. Daytime. That was maybe 10 years ago. That was like. I think more than that. More than that. Yeah. That was like 20 years ago. Because I remember when I was a kid. They opened up a frozen yogurt place like right in the smack of our town. Dude, they had one in Cambridge that became. It was the place you'd go late at night. It was called Berry Line. What was the one that's like, like not pink? It was like the unhealthier version of pink berry. 16 handles. Maybe. That one was awesome because you could create your own. Yes. Yes. And you just went nut fuck on it. And then you brought it up in the cash register and they'd be like, it's $28. Yeah. Can I put like two scoops of this back? And they're like, no. You put 17 toppings in it. We can't unmix the six flavors. What are you, a child at Pizza Hut? And pouring your own soda? And you definitely were a child. I was. It's built for children. And somehow they just. It's like people who can make in-app purchases. You're just like, fuck. Dude, one time I went to one of those places and I had rated all the loose change that I had in a mason jar and I paid for it with change. Oh, that's pretty devastating. Yeah, that's depression era shit. We all had fun with it. I'm sure the staff didn't. The staff was, it was really bored and I was the only person in there. I'm pretty sure this place had like a C health rating. Oh man. So people had stopped going. It's not good for frozen yogurt. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's pretty hard to have anything below like an A health rating. I mean, they were making the frozen yogurt the way that they make those food blocks in Snowpiercer. Just churning up the roaches and throwing them in the vat. Squares of slop. God, that's nasty. I feel like frozen yogurt came about in like the wheat bread era where it was like wheat bread's healthier than white bread. Yeah. And then it came out like, no, it's not. No. Yeah. It's like the same. You're going to want seven grain. Yeah. Froyo's healthier than ice cream. No, it's not. I think it still is. I feel like it has to be. It is. Definitely. There's no milk fat in frozen yogurt. Yeah. Yeah. But you're putting like a sleeve of Oreos on it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like, what if you were just like, oh, I don't know. Just say like frozen yogurt is typically lower in calories than ice cream. It's all about the portion size. I mean, I was going XL. I was getting like the amount that you'd bring home for people. Yeah. A tub. A pint. Did you go last night? No, we just biked by. But when I went to that place, Mika. Yeah. I mean, it's the toppings are just crazy. I think it's Israeli. Oh, interesting. So do you guys get to pull the thing yourself? You got an issue? No, no. It's just how you don't know. I don't usually hear of an Israeli fro-yo place. You're not going to go now? You're going to say you moved out of the West Village because it was too close to that new Israeli frozen yogurt spot? Yeah. All my fro-yo places are Mexican. It is. Yeah. I don't know where it came from, but I feel like there's other places in the city that have long lines. Maybe it's Greek. It looks Greek. It's probably Greek. What's Greek yogurt? I'm surprised we don't have a location in Astoria. You probably have the real one. Real Greek yogurt. You probably have some Greek guy stirring it with his hairy foot. Yeah. It's just thick as fuck. Yeah. Thick Greek yogurt. Must be nice to be back in Astoria. What'd you hit to eat last night? Did you treat yourself to anything? I had a burrito bowl. I had three bites of it and then went to bed. Where'd you get that at that late hour? Some random place. Everything was just like McDonald's or Pizza Hut or whatever, and I was like, I can't do all I've eaten in the last week. I can't. I can't eat this again. That's what you ate in Vegas? Bro, the food, like when you go on these trips, like you go to the venue and you eat, they're All they have is burgers and fries and they don't let you bring food in. So you're just so late. 9 a.m. I guess I'll do a double burger. Just want to kill myself the rest of the day. That's tough. That was just every day. So I got a burrito bowl and then I had had a churro as well. Oh, you had a churro. I treated myself to a churro. You ordered it on the way home to time it up. No, because my place, I don't have the phone buzzer anymore. I'm going to be in the building. That's fucking brutal. So you weren't eating till 1 o'clock. Yeah, 1230. Jesus Christ. I mean, I literally laid in bed and I put it right on my chest. And I threw a couple scoops back and passed out. It's probably still there. That is gross, dude. You're telling me you slept next to an open burrito bowl? No, I sealed it up. Threw it away. Did you? You're making that up. Yeah. Yeah, you. What if you rolled over? I put it on him, but I wasn't like on the bed. It was like I was just laying in bed with a loose burrito bowl. Oh, man. Just open fucking food in your bedroom. I don't usually do that. I don't typically do that. I used to do it all the time. Burrito bowl is the worst open food you can have in your bed. Yeah, definitely. Because you'll find a pinto bean too much later. Yeah. I did it. Yeah, I did it. Yeah. You had a long day. I didn't eat anything. And then like I get this weird thing where like if I don't eat enough, then I start getting like nauseous. I get that. Yeah. And then, but it's like a quick, it's like zero to a hundred fast. It's like you're like, man, I should probably eat something. And then you're like, am I going to throw up right now? It moves quick. My dog does that almost every morning. Oh, yeah. I'll take her on a walk before I feed her and she'll start, then she'll get so hungry that she starts eating grass and then she starts throwing up the grass. And yellow, yellow throw up every morning. That's nasty. The grass that she's eating too in the Brooklyn Bridge Park has to be so pesticided up. Oh, yeah. It's got to be the most toxic grass. She might as well just be eating turf. I'll just feed her some carpet. Might as well be eating putting green. I got rid of a rolled up carpet last night and saw it on the way out in the trash. It was so fucking sad. And then after I biked back, I saw some homeless guy dragging it down the road. It made me so sad. I'm so happy he got a fresh home. Hell, yeah. I love that. Did I ever tell you guys about the time that I had a humidor of cigars, a small humidor? Yeah, yeah. I told you about this? I feel like I vaguely remember it, but no, I don't know. And I had had cigars in it where the gel packs that keep it moist or whatever had long since flattened and become rock hard and there was no moisture left, which meant that the cigars that I had in there had also. Dried out. Dried out to a point of being parchment paper. And I said, well, I'm clearly not going to smoke these. And I just put them out on the street, but I could see out the window and I watched as a guy came up and he was sort of just like, I don't know if he was homeless. He might've been homeless. Yeah. But he was like kind of bouncing along, happy homeless. Yeah. And he saw the box and he bent down and he opened it and he went like this. He went. And then took it. Yeah. He couldn't. It was like he'd opened a treasure box. How many cigars were in it? Eight. I mean, it's a pretty good find. If you're a homeless guy. It is. Yeah. You know he was inhaling them. Oh, without a doubt. A hundred percent. He's like, oh, I'm going to get a buzz. He's probably eating them. Yeah. He's eating them. He's probably rolling them up into single cigarettes. Yeah. Pack and lift. He's like splitting it. Oh my God. That's so nasty. They were good cigars. I mean, they were definitely. I think they were cohesive. Because this was back in probably 2010 or something like that. What if he knew that? I wonder. That's probably why his eyes lit up. Yeah. Cohibas. I want to be a cigar guy so bad, but you guys won't smoke them with me. I mean, I like a cigar. Don't get me wrong. It's just. It's a lot. It's a meal. I would. Now that we're recording at the dead of night and in the crack of dawn, I think I would be more open to it because there's no one in the office to. To bother. Who cares about anyone being in the office? What is HR going to get on your ass? HR is the most permissive being in this building. No one can get fired for anything. Like, you think you're going to get in trouble for smoking a cigar during content? I don't actually mind it. I don't think. This isn't a fear thing. This is, to me, it's always just sort of like, I don't want to make. Yeah, it's a respect thing. I mean, I'm always down to rip a stogue. Definitely not at 9 a.m. That would. I think if we smoked a cigar right now, that's just days over. If you got. What about being outside? Is that like a. Would you prefer to be outside for a cigar? Yes. Yeah, definitely. 100%. Like, smoking a cigar outside is great. Smoking one inside with fluorescent lights beaming down on you isn't fun. Yeah, you'll sweat it out immediately. Yeah, yeah. You just have it eking through your fucking pits. I had one in Spain. It was fucking delicious. What's the most you'll pay? What's the most you'll pay for a cigar? 20 bucks. Really? Well, I mean, I don't. What if you're at a nice spot? I guess 30. What? I mean, I don't know cigars, dude. I don't either. I don't deserve one better than that. I don't know the difference between like a shit cigar and a good cigar. Well. Yeah, same. But I guess I've never really smoked like an actually good cigar. You'll pay $500 for a bottle of wine, but only up to $30 for a cigar? I won't pay $500 for a bottle of wine anymore. Yeah, I would do that. You got a couple of $500 bottles, though? I do, but that was a different time in my life, a different me. Now I just sell everything. Right. Now I'm offloading. You should start flipping cigars. Can I tell you that this whole saving money thing that I'm now completely obsessed with is the least rewarding thing that I've ever done in my life? You made the point, Roan. Did we talk about this? You were like, saving money, it's all just gone anyway, even if you save it. We made that. We talked about that at dinner that one night. Yeah. It just, it all goes away. It's so fucking true. Like, even if you're saving money, then you're right back. To being like, ah, now I'm close on the margins again. Yeah. And I can't touch that money because it's saved. Yeah, it's gone. It's locked away for my future generations. Yeah. That's, it is really crazy. And once again, life is kind of cutting it close. Yeah. What are you putting in? Are you like investing it or are you just putting it in like 401k and shit? Yeah, I just put it in, I just put it in this Fidelity account. Fidelity Go? I don't know about that. Do you have the automated one? It invests for you? I don't think so. I think it's managed. You an S&P man? Well, I know it's managed. I used to, because I used to have one of those. Solid. It's pretty good. Yeah, I like the Fidelity. Tough to beat the S&P when it's doing 16% every year. Unbelievable shit. I just don't know if I see that happening, to be honest. Saving money for future generations? I just don't see the investments panning out. You don't need to save money yet. Oh, no, I do. Why? Future is uncertain. Well, you've saved some money. I know you have. Yeah, yeah, of course. I'm a saver. Yeah. How much money do you have? Never would I ever tell you. Why not? Not who I am. How come everyone's so weird about that? By saying how much money they have? No. I don't mean like, if you have millions of dollars, don't say that. If you have millions, don't say anything. Don't talk, Harry. Only say it if you have below millions. Yeah. Well, I don't have millions. Once I get to 100,000, I'm not going to talk about it anymore, because then that would be like, I was really tone deaf. Yeah, yeah. You know what has been endlessly pissing me the fuck off? There's a trend right now where athletes are like, how did you spend your first million? Or other athletes like J.J. Redick talking about what $10 million does for an NBA player. And every single one of them are like, well, what you don't realize is Uncle Sam takes 50% off the top, as if they're the only people who pay fucking taxes, dude. Everybody pays taxes. If you work at McDonald's, you have to fucking give a bunch of it to taxes. If you make $100,000 a year, you have to give a bunch of it to taxes. Talk about tone deaf. Dudes who are like, $40 million, actually fucking, you have to give your mom a $150,000 car. You have to pay off a house for your dad. It's like, shut the fuck up. That is tone deaf. That is infuriating. Which reminds me, I should add that of this money that I've saved, I probably owe at least 40% of it for my touring revenue and taxes. At the end of the year. Yeah, it's tough. So this is not going to be what we end up with. Uncle Sam, that son of a bitch. Jeff Teague talked about this, man. Fucking Uncle Sam, bro. $40 million isn't shit. It's literally nothing. When you start breaking it down, because the agent takes some, the business manager takes some, your parents have a predatory relationship with you, so they have to have some. You need a car that's going to depreciate in value the second the tires hit the pavement off the lot. Maybe a G-Wagon. That is fucking infuriating. You should buy a G-Wagon. I'm going to sell this watch, too, by the way. For the G-Wagon? Yeah, this was my wedding watch, so obviously I don't need it anymore. Oh my God. Just, you know, total, total sadness on the wrist. Damn. Pull up like a 300 for a, what about a G-Wagon for like 2022? I thought the wagon was like a hundred. I actually thought that these were getting, these were going down in value, too. Looks like they've almost tripled. - Thank you. get one for 100 wow the 2022 is 100 i think this is a really pointless car i look cool bad but they are apparently done they don't drive well the horrible every ad for them is they're in a fucking sand dune yeah no one's taking that thing to a sand dune you're never going to the dune you're not gonna make it to the dune bought a g-wagon and then realized i'm never using it because i don't falcon anymore i'm not an arabian knight ever since i gave up falconry imagine being in the dunes and seeing someone in like a full blacked out ben's truck just whipping it you'd be like bro what do you like you shouldn't you be like on a street in like italy somewhere yeah drifting in the dunes yeah can i tell you guys a story about the weekend of course and you know what i'm gonna do which i've never done before is that i'm actually gonna put on some music to set the tone i'm gonna set a uh three minute time limit because this is going to be so specific about golf that i want to let anyone who doesn't give a fuck or doesn't like me to just skip ahead three minutes and i'll keep it specifically to that does that sound good i think you set that alarm for 30 minutes it's gonna be three and then you're just ready go now okay i played in this member guest tournament right at oakmont yeah which is one of the most like premier elite clubs in the country they host u.s opens every nine years it's very historic is this where tom brady was no pause the timer pause the timer you were waiting for this to happen and then you're like oh my god i'm gonna with tom brady no not this weekend we haven't ever even talked about it we didn't even talk about you being with tom brady eating into my fucking time this doesn't count this isn't my fault everybody that's roan this doesn't count this is my time i'm i have a three minute timer in the middle of your story to get to ask about the tom brady story do you want me to stop this yes yes stop pause that all right well listen i i didn't use any of my time yes wait talk about the time now everyone now everyone's gonna miss the top rate story um yeah i went to that was a few weeks ago now i went to boston right before the fourth of july on monday to uh to play to to do an event for delta which you know fuck yeah i don't know what else to say i've been trying to work with delta i've been trying to date delta for 10 years now you tell him you need that 360. no i haven't asked about it what they say they're like even we don't know how one achieves that bullshit bro they all have it no they don't i don't think employees get it i think it's truly like you you have to be hand selected it is the most elite of the elite and you get a handwritten note inviting you from the ceo probably if you spent a million dollars with their airline a year it's got to be a year i think that in in certain markets it's easier than others so for example if you fly frequently out of new york if new york is your home airport you need to achieve like 200 000 mqds in a year because there's a lot of business people that are taking four or five first class flights to fucking dubai or you know singapore a year and those are like twenty thousand dollar flights that are being paid for by business yeah so those people have insane mqds and like they're achieving quintuple diamond yes i don't like that i don't like that they're like even weak because that makes it seem like that's like frat hazing shit that's like eat the eat the eyeballs and it's like peeled grapes they didn't say it in a way that was sort of like you'll never have it it was more like yeah we we don't know what if you were to make a cash offer you think they would accept dude i kind of did really well we this deal with with delta was like shout out ryan you know he got it for me and basically and delta was like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know like what came to me or they came to the barstool sales team they were like we want to work with francis and he was like sure this is his rate and then uh ryan hit me up and he's like i'm sure you probably don't want to go on monday of our fourth of july holiday week to go play in a golf event for delta right yeah i was like you don't know me that well golf delta i'm in and then i was like but here's what they're willing to pay you and i was like yeah well tell me what you're willing to that i will accept that rate if they bump me to 360 yeah and he was like that's a good that's good i like that yeah and he was like okay i'll try that and he went to them and said that and they were like we won't do that but we'll double what we're paying him wow that's how that's how much they predict there is a dollar value that i know that is at least less than what they value 360 and i forget what did you say your rate is i'm not going to give this number they doubled they doubled the pay to not put you to 360 correct from diamond so it's only one step up but that's so it's got to be i mean it's got to be like a five hundred thousand dollar gap i think they protect it between diamond and three i mean you can't buy it that's for sure yeah did you see that now when you if you achieve that they've now got these new thresholds this is so fucking specific i've totally fallen off by the way i'm not i'm gold i'm i'm back on priceline back on expedia i'm all over the map do you know that if now they once i've achieved diamond right so if i get to 50 which which is at 28 000 mqds yeah if you get to 50 000 mqds you get two more choice benefits yeah yeah if you get to 75 000 you get two more or maybe it's one more and then if you get a hundred thousand mqds you can actually gift diamond medallion to someone else what it's not coming to you motherfucker i'm on no way you're gonna give it to i'm not getting to a hundred thousand first of all yes you will bro no i won't say that how many mqds you at that's really good man you're you're there with me i'm like we're right it's the same i think gee you're already diamond dude i got diamond in may where have you gone from just portugal where hasn't he gone he's only traveled like once in the last year that's not true he flies for work all the time i also had to bring family to portugal yeah but like i had to pay for tickets for my whole family you guys flew delta of course pig's ass poor you gotta get back that must have been hat that must have been almost the whole thing i don't know that's insane that you guys are both at diamond i'm not sure well you didn't get it because you started talking shit about it i wish i was diamond again so i told crank crank him back that's so funny that you tried to bribe your way in like james bond at like a card table yeah and like there's not enough chip so he's like how about this watch yeah right literally you should offer them the ap off risk i thought about it i can't believe they didn't accept to be i i'm actually very i i really feel like that i thought that would have worked what does it get you can you look that up what is 360 i i knew you get the back tags for starters yeah you get back tags which means that like some world strongman contest winner hand carries it out places it in your arms you get the porsche you get the port that's the big thing is that if you have a connecting flight when you step off the plane onto the jetway they walk you down where they would take like gate checked bags onto the tarmac pick you up in a porsche and drive you to your next flight so you don't have to like walk through the terminals or switch terminals but like top tier upgrade priority like they hold the they hold the plane for you but you can't get it yeah that's the thing unless you're already paying for the top tier like you don't ever need an upgrade upgraded ever yeah you don't need an upgrade because you're automatically paying for well that's not necessarily true so so someone messaged me and they had gotten and they lived in like milwaukee yeah right they lived in a place that was not a delta hub which means when they're 360 they were but but he flew every week and he he got it one year and then did not get it the next i thought it would be like a lifetime it's not lifetime no you got to achieve it every year oh that's brutal it's the cool it's still the coolest thing in the world i don't know there's nothing you can say that will dissuade me from that that notion wait so tom brady well he this guy had to he was everywhere he went was two flights oh i see and so but that was probably back when it was the mqms as well maybe but but point is that like having 360 was extremely helpful to him one because a lot of his connections he'd be late and they would literally hold the next plane that's so crazy they were like i'm sorry everybody but there's someone we can't leave behind there's one person that that spends more money than all of you do yearly combined correct and that porsche just fishtails onto the runway yeah i think you should be allowed to drive the porsche to your next gate you should be able to drive the plane yeah why don't you come sit in the pilot's lap real quick hey son of a boy dad listeners we'll be right back but first a quick message from one of our partners back and with draft king sportsbook september comes with a boost all september long opt in and get a 50 profit boost every game day with the draft kings game day boost pass new draft king sportsbook customers sign up with the code bss and get 50 profit boost every game day that's code bss in partnership with draft kings the crown is yours gambling problem call 1-800 gambler 1-800 my reset connecticut call 888-789-7777 Visit cc.org. bcpg.org on behalf of boot hill casino in kansas wager tax pass-through may apply in illinois 21 plus in most states void in canada one football boost per customer maximum bet limits and wagering restrictions apply tokens are single use and expire at the end of the final select game each day when offered terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com slash promos all right now back to the episode hey son of a boy dad listeners we'll be right back but first a quick message from one of our partners it's fran from chicks in the office the weather is getting cooler and abercrombie's fall drop has everything i need for the season the best-selling anf sloan taylor pant is a closet staple for me i'm always wearing it to work events happy hour anytime i want to be a bit more dressed up and the viral dylan dress is easy one and done perfection but my fall uniform will always be denim paired with a henley sweater a bra free top it's comfortable effortless it just never fails find your fall capsule at abercrombie shop in the app online and in stores all right now back to the episode i'm at the tpc event in boston i didn't know that tom brady was going to be there i didn't know that the bob does sports guys were going to be there i kind of just flew into boston went to my hotel assumed i was going to go to the course the next day and you know film some content by myself basically and then i'm going to be there and i'm going to be there and i'm going to be there and come home but as it turned out i got there and they were like yeah so um you know feel free to take some pictures with tom were you like who tom who i was like hanks yeah does tom work for delta delta tom and then like next thing you know they're and then and then i saw my cart it had my name on it and i was paired with joe joey cold cuts oh really your pal what a what a treat yeah joey's hilarious and i was so excited because then all of a sudden i'm like oh wow this is gonna be fun day yeah yeah i mean you see cold cuts you know the day is gonna be good exactly and fat perez and bob and they were all there and um we were just standing around and then like the this guy who works for delta like i remember he's standing there's i don't know there's like 50 people there sky miles members yeah i had just signed up for this event it was free and um that he was like oh my god i'm gonna be there and i'm gonna be there and i'm gonna like all right everybody we hope you have a great day and we have a special guest and um you may know him because he's a world champion please welcome tom brady that's like all he said jesus he didn't really like build up the hype that much world champion and out comes tom brady in the most beautiful clothing i've ever seen someone wear for golf what was he wearing like these baggy pants with like a he looked the way that i try to look but never do he's definitely got like a stylist and shit now probably yeah the lore of pianos yeah he was wearing like a light summer wool shirt that was tucked in with no belt perfectly and he's you know six foot 100 somehow and was he taller than you i think yeah by by a couple inches probably he's humongous and he's got this gravelly voice and he comes out and by the way all these people again there's only 50 people there and tom brady's walking out and i kind of expected them to be like but they're golfers at a golf course so they were just kind of politely golf clapping and i'm like wait a minute come on people what and logan paul came and hit him with a chair over his head ran over him with a golf cart yeah uh and then we played a hole with tom brady that's crazy how'd you hit it on that hole yeah in front of the goat not i mean we just did a scramble and that was the drive i made i hit the fairway with my my t-ball uh but we didn't take my ball did he give you an attaboy he said that um i looked athletic come on that's pretty crazy someone was like tom was like how are you tom he was like you can you guys play and they were like fp is pretty good and then they're like and francis can hit it and tom was like yeah he looks athletic damn and i went lacrosse but no but someone stepped on it yeah so he didn't hear it i just went lacrosse you can hear it there's a clip of it i went lacrosse and no one said anything well they were on to a new subject lacrosse uh the one good joke the one good joke that i had was that tom brady's like all right let's do it uh why you want me you guys want me to go first they were like yeah go ahead and uh he starts walking up to the tea and he goes does anyone have a tea and i go you can use my team mr brady and then he goes mr brady's my father and i was like okay yeah you know yeah not much you can do that's all right so i'm gonna go first and i'm gonna go first and i'm gonna go and then he blasted his ball into the woods really yeah with the driving iron too so he wasn't even like trying to hit it crazy far or anything damn relatively sprayed in the woods yeah but he didn't care so he's like a full delta guy now because he's on the uh if you watch a movie on the plane yeah he's an ambassador he's sort of the face they got to get rid i'm gonna i'm gonna tell tom straight up they got to fix that commercial why it's annoying as fuck well if you start a movie on the plane they do the flight attendant noise like the yeah yeah ladies and gentlemen this is tom speaking and you're like what the pilot tom where delta tom where the fuck is tom at delta tom's in here well it's kind of like where's tom oh no he's flying in that uh gulf stream 500 out the left window if you look at your left window you'll see delta ambassador tom brady it's like when kylie jenner has uh kiosks or she has vending machines at all the airports now there's pink kylie jenner vending machines and everybody knows kylie jenner has never been in a gen pop airport no no chance same with tom brady you think that he's going on delta flights waiting for like his zone yeah there's no chance of the airports they go to what we don't even know what we've never heard they're underground yeah yeah they're like yeah they don't exist he's getting the launch but shit everywhere like don't don't pretend that you're one of us we like you because you're not well i think i think it's just a pairing of excellence if we're honest that's what it is tom brady oozes excellence you're a rep you're a delta oozes excellence let's be let's call it like it is delta is the most excellent airline in america it really is and i've i've tried to find alternatives so many times look at you and there just isn't you know what you can't i'm not letting you back no but like right you went on your fucking crusade oh the food sucks the but it's like all the way down shut up all the way down to like like i think in the air when you're in the air i think it's a toss-up i think i think mint could compete get out of here jet blue but i'm saying more space this is i'm saying once you're in the air mint can compete united can compete when you're not when you're on the ground delta is far and away the superior airline and it's not even close when you're on the ground bro when you're like the customer service customer service going a baggage claim there's never delayed like delta's the least delayed airline by a mile yeah like bro jet like that jet blue flight like we were they hired the frontier workers that got laid off bro it was so obvious like it was like we're this delayed and it's completely normal you ever see you know when you're walking onto a delta plane off the jet bridge and you see all the stickers on the side of the plane oh yeah like number one place to work and you're like oh my god i'm not gonna be able to get out of here i'm not gonna be able to get out of here i'm not gonna be able to get out of here i'm not gonna be able to get out of here it's like the helmets at ohio state it's like yeah we were gonna be late but the pilot made up the time in the air there's another sticker for the plane exactly flies how was cold cuts great i mean everyone it was really fun i try and break your balls yeah we had a good time we those guys are hysterical and i've known them forever i used to work with bob at pro bible he and i had a show together there oh wow uh and this was before like anyone really knew who he was and you know next thing you know he's become the number one guy on golf did you see the video when they had they were with uh chicklets and like they were like trying to chirp the chicklets guys and the chicklets guys were just like such an echelon above shit talkers that like everything they said was like it was devastating it was so delightful and funny those guys are are truly the best but it seemed like cold cuts uh it seemed like they were solid guys yeah they're fantastic i mean i want to spend more time with them i want to spend more time with them i want to spend more time with them i think that they're such an interesting mix fat perez is quietly one of the most intelligent people i've ever met in my life that's a sad sentence i have a very dear friend uh one of my closest friends who i think i've told you about him his family owns a vineyard in sonoma and he's like probably the most like uh debonair guy that i know define debonair um it's like uh refined groomed yeah in a masculine way like you know um anyway he um was running a wine event out in the hamptons and he was like hey i met your buddy fat perez who showed up yeah And this is like a pretty insider, you'd have to know people. Yeah. I'm like, oh, shit. Well done, Fat Perez. Fat Perez. But he's not fat anymore, either. He's lost like 100 pounds. Yeah. GLP-1s? Of course. I'd assume so. Are GLP-1s like the future? Like, if GLP-1s are, or GLP-1, whatever it is, that's not Ozempic, right? That is. Ozempic is a GLP-1. It's like Munjara or Wegovi. Got it. I thought it was like a completely different thing. I didn't know that. I think they fall, it's like a category of medicine. Interesting. There's a big YouTube thumbnail that just has Ozempic with an X through it. For Fat Perez. So it sounds like he went au natural. He may have done. It looks like he went natural, to be honest. I mean, some of the people I'm seeing in Hollywood, you can tell. Yeah. Very easily. When someone's head is triple the size of the average head. Yeah. It means it's Ozempic. When their chin looks like a gardening spade. Because every bit of fat underneath their jaw has somehow disappeared. So, all right, start the timer. Well, I played golf. Yes, I played golf with them. That was fun. And then shot the Delta thing and then flew home. But I want to tell you really quickly about this weekend. And we're going to start the timer again. For the sake of brevity. Yeah. Let's start this off. I went and played at Oakmont. And I think it's the fifth ranked course in the country. I mean, it's really sick. And in one of the matches, the flights are such that you get a full point if you win a hole. There are nine hole matches. There's six teams in a flight. You play five matches. You play every team in your flight. And you get a point for winning a hole. And you get half a point for tying a hole. Zero points for losing a hole. So, it's the second to last. The penultimate match. And we are playing a team. And we are. Every half point matters at this point. We're in third place. And on the last hole, the ninth hole, right? Our opponent had a putt for five. And he was like three and a half feet from the hole. His partner had been back left of the green in the rough. He flubbed his first chip. His partner didn't see him do that. Then he chipped onto the green and then putted down. My partner and I are both lying three within like four feet of the hole. Are you following me so far? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I got to know where it's going. If either of us makes our putt, we'll win the hole. That other guy who had been off the green putts down close to the hole. He's like a foot away. And now he's putting in for six. Which means that both my partner and I could theoretically win. I could potentially two putt to beat him. Yeah. So I said, that putt's good. I gave him the putt. I seeded that putt as a gimme. Hang on. When I said that, his partner picked up his own ball mark. Because he thought his buddy was lying four and I was giving him his putt for five. Which would have made his putt irrelevant. Yeah, yeah. You see what I'm saying? He was a stroke below. He didn't realize. In golf, the rule is if you pick up your ball mark at any point, you are seeded the hole. You're out of it. But we were like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And he was like, oh shit. I thought he was lying five, which made my putt meaningless. Or I thought he was lying four. And that you're giving it for five. And we were like, no. And he's like, can I put it back down where it was? And we were like, yeah, I guess so. And then we both, because of all that, we both missed our shot. We lost our short putts and he made his to tie us. And that one half point that we would have gotten, we lost our flight by half a point. Wow. That's brutal. Look at that. Two minutes, 40 seconds. Suck my dick. What about the follow up? Yeah, no follow up. That's on you guys. I don't need to say any more. If you have questions, this is the Q&A period. How much money was on the line here? Well, I mean, I think that the flight winners, I don't know, got like probably 800 bucks each. But beyond that, you know, it's a chance to play in the shootout, which if you win that, you win the tournament and you get your name on the wall, which is immortal. Immortalized. You're immortal. Yeah, you're there forever. How close were they to winning the shootout? Like, did you have a legitimate chance or anything can happen? The team that won our flight, did they win the team that we did that with? They didn't. They didn't win the flight, but it would have given us the half point to tie the team that won the flight. And the team that won the flight did not. They did not win the shootout. How much were you guys grumbling when you got back to the to the cart? Well, we were we were really mad at ourselves for not like stealing our nerve and making our three and four foot putts like we should. Fundamentally, we should have made those. One of us should have made it. Yeah. But because of the ballyhoo, it distracted us. Who went first? My partner was away. He had a harder putt. I had a much easier putt and I missed mine. In fact, I didn't even touch the hole. It was basically a straight three foot putt and I pulled it way left. So did you guys ever? Think about like reversing it or now? Um, to have done that after the fact would have created a controversy that like would would not have been worth. Yeah, no point in that. Plus, at that moment, we didn't know that the half point was going to matter. By the time that it did matter, it was too late. I mean, there's a chance if you got if you didn't let him put that ball back down, they might have blown up completely. Gotten angry. Morale killer. Gotten angry. Like just like like. If that guy has a mistake of like. It was the last putt of the match. Oh, that would have been the end of the match. Oh, and we would have we would have said, look, dude, I'm sorry. Like we're in a tournament. Those are the rules. Yeah, that's what you hit sporadic with. Well, that was for a million dollars. Yeah, bro. The rules are the rules. People that play golf have a hard time following the rules. That just shows you've never played competitive golf. Look at what happened to Bryson DeChambeau this weekend. What happened? In a major, he got penalized two strokes. It was the whole talk of the British Open. I wasn't. He wore bright green pants. This is a doctrine two strokes. This is one of the this is one of the most the biggest names in golf. No, I know. I know. I know. And in one of the most important moments of golf where there's the most eyeballs on him and he committed a very controversial rules infraction that docked him two strokes, which in a major is. That's a lot. I mean, that's the game. It's like holding someone back 10 seconds in a, you know, what did he, what did he do? Keep moving. His ball was in the long grass. He did exactly what page did basically where he went in and he stepped on the long grass in such a way that the rules officials deemed that he had improved his, the, the, the area around the ball. Yeah. That's my, that was my signature move back in the, like that right there, like what he's doing there. Like how he's like walking around. Yeah. Yeah. You're not supposed to stamp anything down. You got to just naturally walk to your ball and like great acting job by him to act like he was about to fall over. Yeah. He should fall over and start rolling around. There isn't a amateur golfer, recreational golfer on earth who has not taken a wide stance in this moment and stepped down the grass. But bro, I, when I was a major and there's a camera three feet from your face, it's tough. I'm not a fan of Bryson. So. I mean, when I used to golf, I would be like breaking branches, moving them out of the way. Like I would do everything to improve my lie other than move the ball. Yeah. But obviously that was not, uh, the PGA tour. Well, just, I'm glad that this, this big fuck up on your part came before the internet invitation. Get it out of your system. Yeah. Cause that's not going to fly. Oh no, for sure. Not that money. Yeah, we do need it. We do need it. And by the way, when I say we need it, let's just be honest. If I win that game, I'm going to win that game. I'm not going to lose that money. I'm leaving. You guys know that, right? That's the end of it. I need you not only improving your lie, I need you sabotaging other people's lie, stepping on the ball and the green. I'm not going to do that. Burying the ball. You know what? There wasn't any of last year at, at all with the exception of the DOD King. Yeah. There was no like yelling in someone's backswing, no farting. Yeah. No fake sneezing. No nothing. None. There wasn't really that much smack talk. It was all pretty respectful. I can't help but wonder if this year there might not be a bit more, uh, I could see people like, uh, stuff. I could definitely see people like turning it up for the cameras now, just based off how well the last one did and like how many views they know it'll get. I think if someone, if someone opens that floodgate, it will be, it will turn into that. I just wonder though, like I, I think Dave has said that that's totally allowed. Yeah, definitely. If you're playing for $4 million and I'm on the final on the 18th tee box, yeah, people will frown at it, but I'm going to pull the guy's pants down. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's fair. I do feel like though, I feel like it naturally wouldn't happen towards the end just because of how much money is on the line. Yeah. I'm not going to do it. I wouldn't do it. I backed off so fast. Well, I'm not going to do, I'm just not that guy. I don't know. I'll follow them. I don't even think it's that. I just feel like if you're like, if you're, if you're, if you're in the last two teams like you're not gonna be thinking about, you're gonna be only thinking about like your shots i think it depends who you're playing against if you're playing against salim from milk boys i think that it's fair game to yell on his backswing you know who i really want to play against is the tyler twomey guy from uh the the oh yeah from dude perfect because i'm gonna give him a ton of shit about stealing your video i'm not even kidding you that'll be very interesting and i'm gonna i feel like he's gonna be like oh yeah man they just told me to do that like i don't know i'm gonna i'm owned by nabisco so you know that he's open about having had a porn addiction right no oh i'm going straight to that oh man i'm like listen man how much porn qualifies as an addiction because i gotta be close for you to have like come out and admitted that it was like a problem in your life so crazy to admit that shit out loud bro yeah just keep it's crazy just keep that to yourself yeah it's solve it nothing has become like that has been something that has just like risen out of nowhere that like all of a sudden like all of a sudden everyone talks about publicly yeah like i've seen like videos of like of like families where they're like how our family operates with my husband being addicted to porn and it's like just keep this to yourself and the kids faces are in the video it's like oh god it's they have to go to school i don't think it's like got that same level of admiration that you know beating and alcoholism or drug addiction no one gives a fuck it's like uh you know i knew why did you stop porn well you know you just get tired of waking up covered and come you know like uh yeah just like porn magazines all around you as you wake up like 10 hours late for work or something like that what what could have been happening that you were doing this so like gooning so viciously and getting caught so regularly by people that are like this is a problem yeah like are we gonna get shit for like knocking this is this an addiction that has this same level of sensitivity i don't think so people they it i don't think it should ever be a thing where the whole family is aware that the father has a has a correct addiction like what's happening like he's they're all sitting down for dinner and he's just like the table's just like slowly shaking like yeah where's dad he's jerking off again upstairs he's in recovery though so we'll let it happen he's just leaning up against the wall like he's peeing at a urinal in front of the tv fucking beating off like how is it ever affecting somebody else in your life that is the that is the weakest mental person that god has created i think it i think it's like uh i think it like someone said it once and then just if i think i really think people just over are overthinking it like everyone that watches porn just whether you watch it like i'm not a big porn guy these days you know like in my in my younger days of course but like i would you just don't think about it so much jerk off and then be done yeah or just don't jerk off like the fact that it's like creeping into your mind at these times yeah that's not that's not like horniness that's like performative victimhood because you want to be part of the class of people that overcame something yeah yeah it's like oh i beat i beat my addiction i gotta believe that it's like you cross into this thing where you're watching it and not jerking off i think it is that i think it i just have it on i've talked to someone who said that they had like a porn problem and they said that it's like uh like what the i think the most common thing is that you're just like looking for a video for like six hours straight oh like finding the right video oh man yeah i think that i don't i don't i don't know that is weird like kanye would like have it on in the studio and shit like that but it's like i don't know i don't really get that i mean yeah maybe i'm just not horny enough to get it terry cruz openly battled a severe lifelong pornography addiction that nearly destroyed his marriage of over three decades but that's like yeah terry just cheat dude just go out and cheat bro i initially began using explicit material as a young teenager to cope with an abusive father that's an interesting way to treat that but the habit escalated during his nfl and early uh acting career sometimes causing him to isolate and hide away from his family and his friends and his friends and his friends and his friends for up to 13 hours what is that so he was sleeping he went to bed he took a nap isolating for 13 hours isn't anything special has anyone seen we all just isolated for 10 hours yeah that seemed like some hollywood shit honestly i mean i think that that one's interesting and then when the real one when people say like yeah i'm addicted to sex i'm a sex addict no you're just a bad bragging you're just you're like yeah i'm just you're just a piece of shit we're all addicted to sex if we could be do you think i wouldn't have all the sex that i possibly can all day long yeah i'm not buying i don't buy that's just like you cheat on your wife or girlfriend and you don't feel bad like don't feel bad enough no no and the only reason i'm not addicted to sex is because women like won't yeah provide it yeah there's you have limitations i need you know you gotta i gotta i gotta i gotta get to know somebody yeah they're not just like dropping in on me yeah i don't know i don't know the the sex addict thing is definitely a weird one as well i don't know how you could be addicted to something that involves another person they also i think dudes who say they're addicted to sex think they're the man oh yeah big time like dude i just can't stop fucking i can't i just if i wanted to like i'm gonna fuck something they're gonna have to check me in somewhere i need help like yeah i fucking i think i am dude i think i'm a sec i'm addicted i think you know who someone was who was openly admitted that they were addicted to sex was daniel radcliffe oh yeah yeah i think i saw something about that like yesterday yeah like a tweet about that he was like harry potter is you know getting it oh does not oh excuse me sorry that's wrong we're taking that back never mind he was an alcoholic but those probably go hand in hand uh yeah i think a sex addict is probably in a lot of scenarios an alcoholic who does not want to admit that they have an alcohol problem so they turn it into like well alcohol's fine it's just i end up fucking every night yeah now uh tiger woods when he got in trouble for all those affairs had to come out and be like i'm a i'm a sex addict i'm sorry it's like no dude you're just the man yeah you're just the greatest one of the greatest athletes of all time you just everybody wanted to fuck you and you're a nice guy and you have like a low enough standard where it'll be like a waiter yeah like you'll get like sloppy with it yeah you'll just bang like a blonde girl in jupiter yeah yeah just for the love of the game but it's like when you call something addiction you can be like it's not my fault yeah like i have this disease this disease where i need to put meat on meat it's so fucking insane yeah like like i want to see what it looks like when a sex addict is in withdrawal you know i want to see what that looks like is it just like you're in a bad mood or are you like laying down like sweating i think you're having wet dreams during the day yeah wet daydreams wet daydreams yeah i thought too hard depression and anxiety all right mood swings inability to focus feelings of frustration and annoyance gonna be honest with you i might be a sex addict and withdraw like a frustration and annoyance is hilarious to fuck fuck just like cutting people off in traffic again you just you're just a bad guy yeah exactly you have no control of your feelings or emotions like if you can't if you cannot if you don't fuck for a day and you're feeling feelings of avoiding socializing frustration and annoyance urges or cravings cravings that's so fucking nasty gross gross flashbacks you know you know who's gonna be you know who's in the internet invitational now is that guy big john big jay big john golfs john big john something yeah big john golfs you're right uh and he by the way i messaged him and i was like i'm excited to uh playing the internet invitation with you and he was like dude i can't believe you're dming me i listen to son of a white head every week oh hell yeah he's a boy that guy john this guy's hilarious i think he's fucking great oh yeah i've seen this guy he's great he's perpetually hung over he's got a great he's got a great voice he he takes like five shots of liquor and then goes on a five mile run yeah i've seen i've been seeing a lot of those videos of like dudes taking like 500 milligrams of edibles and then being like i'm gonna go jog 10 miles yeah i've seen that and then by mile three they're like i'm going i'm gonna i'm gonna go to the hospital that should sound bad sounds awful i can't think of anything less enjoyable it's creating a wave like i saw a woman being like taking a thousand milligrams of edibles and she injected a black liquid into her mouth is that snake venom yeah i saw that in like a in like one of those tubes oh just do heroin yeah no that's why bro at that point it's like just it's not your weed it's not for you like you're you're looking for something significantly stronger well shout out to our brother big john i didn't realize that he's part of family yeah i think we should get him on the pod big jay big john he that's part of he'll he's probably i bet he's like 22 how old is he uh francis you need to use this as like uh we honestly should go to the invitational and bang some episodes it's not a bad idea what is it it's 26 all right i guess we're not you don't want us to talk about it could be any it could be anytime it could be anytime anywhere driver off the deck i feel like that's ai getting it wrong because i think they're talking about the dod king but i think those two guys actually do stuff together 24 well we got a lot of conflicting accounts here whatever i mean that checks out 2002 did you see that lamania malls that dad was born in 1992 bro no i didn't see that he was 15 when he had him that's crazy lamania malls dad is younger than me he's 34. that's nuts bro he was born when in 1992 and his son was born in 2007. he's 34 and his son just won the world cup that's so crazy but that's got to be i mean bro that is literally the best case scenario to having a child at like 15 years old yeah it sure is it'll kind of probably encourage a lot of 15 year olds to be like yeah no i'm not uh i'm just gonna i'm just gonna create the next lamania mall i mean how does that even happen like his dad was probably like how do you jesus he has to work like he has to work for like 40 more years yeah yeah he's probably the dad's probably broke as fuck yeah no i bet he's give his son's giving him first first million dollars for lamania mall he bought his dad a favela i'm pretty sure he bought his dad a nice uh a nice watch and he's like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god watch half went to taxes in spain of course what would you rather get the watch or would you rather be like just give me the i'll take the cash if you're giving out five hundred thousand dollar watches i don't think that's the end of his gifts yeah probably not that's great so is he like the most like accomplished uh soccer player for that age like ever i think he has way more goals minutes and assists than messy at the same age i was and he also hasn't lost a game when he's suited up for his national side i think he's more i think he might be more what i can't say say it bro i thought i read something that he's now like technically has more achievements than like ronaldo i mean ronaldo doesn't have a world cup yeah i'll tell you that much why would you why would you be worried about saying that because i don't know anything about soccer no i was gonna say that's not that like controversial i didn't want to be wrong fair hey son of a boy dad listeners we'll be right back but first a quick message from one of our partners being lucky you should be meet the new lucky one sweet tea from miss peaches the vodka drink that's positively doing good made with real tea and real vodka non-carbonated 100 calories and here's the scoop their new sweet tea is the only vodka based sweet tea on the market simple ingredients in a smooth full flavor that makes it taste just like the real sweet tea best part every can helps rescue dogs find their forever homes as they work to a goal of donating one million dollars to dog rescues in 2026 so if you love true sweet tea this one's a no-brainer pick up a lucky one sweet tea today and give back one can at a time all right now back to the episode um what else is going on we got a lot of golf going on um i saved the venezuelan lady's life yesterday yeah let's talk about that there's really nothing to talk about but i just saved the venezuelan pregnant venezuelan lady that's like the second time you've done that yeah and i'm like hunting for it yeah you're saving lives i have a i have a high i'm just like going out at night starting to feel a little performative it is it 100 is you saved the old dude the old dude whose skull was cracked out of his head and fucking couldn't breathe after he got hit by like revived him i revived him with a sternal rub yeah which is crazy tended to him for seven minutes starting to think this venezuelan mother of a six-year-old who was passed out was actually just an american woman taking a nap she was just a homeless lady i was like get up i was speaking performative spanish to her yeah i was like donde esta la biblioteca how did you know she was passed out what what did you was like i got off my bike at 27th and 7th started crossing the street and she was like going down she was with a man and she had like they like suitcases and like a bunch of different suitcases and she was in the suitcases one of them was like a uber eats bag with blankets in it basically and they were just she was like going to the ground they put one of the bags under her and she was just completely unresponsive and her six-year-old daughter just started crying right there and i just became the father of their entire family i was like telling her that it was okay like holding the woman's hand i was like and she was pregnant and she was like the dolor me me estomago or no she didn't even say that or no she didn't even say that she was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry fucking uh i guess venezuelan husband her annoyed venezuelan yeah he was annoyed as fuck but i stayed until the ambulance came it just felt so good i understand what you're chasing right now but i've achieved it twice in the time in the time span that you've been trying to save a life well we all have different lanes right your your lane is is is helping people in in peril mine is stopping crime okay i'm a first responder you're a dark knight yeah i'm uh uh yeah i'm a vigilante did they ever find out what was wrong with the lady like what was it she was pregnant and and just my guess is that she had gestational diabetes oh my read on it gestational diabetes and her blood sugar got low i told the paramedics she was addicted to porn yeah she was six hours without having porn i just pulled up the hub on my phone i just hovered it in front of her face oh oh gracias gracias she started blasting herself and this was was this in the subway station no it was getting off the city bike at 27th and 7th under the scaffolding damn and the ambulance came i was like telling everyone like hey do you hear this iron just okay the little girl stopped crying i made it better and a fire truck pulled up too and then they like assessed the situation from the truck and then they just blew off they just left and the paramedics were pissed yeah they were like the fire truck just leave us they were fucking furious i had a afterwards i went uh i went jewelry shopping for our my it's my fifth anniversary wedding anniversary coming up went jewelry shopping finally have a jewelry guy clarte i gotta put you onto this i don't need to buy jewelry for anyone you don't have you have to just stockpile it up this place is sick it's like in jeweler's row but they just brought me into this guy's office that had like some sports memorabilia on the wall and that made me feel way better about it was this was this in the diamond district it was in the diamond district but they brought me into a high rise i wasn't on the floor where they have yeah the uncut gems floor like that shit is that shit is stressful have you ever been on that floor yeah well it's where that guy screamed at the guy and went baby my fucking money yeah that was crazy yeah what was that about it was like uh that's just all that's all those dudes are low-key influencers yeah they're all just like diamond influencers who like trade baseball cards and shit like that i mean that that he caused a scene for sure i think they're all about causing scenes that guy moses is always like giving away like gold bars on like sixth avenue and shit like that yeah yeah i got but i have this guy for you i have a diamond guy for you i'm selling everything i own you're gonna like this dude he'll get you a deal i'm i'm stripping my life bare and going back to the spartan lifestyle i think that he would gift you something honestly well if that's gonna happen i'm interested he might gift you something he was looking to gift dave something i need to get him in front of dave so he can gift him you told him that you were uh he worked at barstool oh i have a barstool barstool i had to for the deal of course and uh he broke he would probably gift you he would gift half of you something that's fine with me yeah he'd give you half a gift i'll stop by i'll stop by moses is it moses it's not moses it's a different brother clarte it's the name of the company i'll stop by i'll say what's up to clarte hi and company i don't know where you're supposed to actually buy jewelry exactly it's so stressful as a dude i also have given up trying to buy a present that i think someone will like i'm just gonna take you shopping for yourself it's so fucking frustrating any holiday stressing out being like maybe you'll like this maybe not just fucking buy buy what you want yeah yeah cash cash cash is king do you think giving cash to an adult is kosher i'm like i'm always down for cash personally um but i could see like not wanting to get cash whenever i was especially if you're like loaded whenever i'd hear parents giving their kid cash i was like i think that's a good idea i think that's a good idea i think that's a good super lazy oh yeah but now it's like if that's what they want cash is king yeah i mean yeah it's better than getting something that you're not gonna want or not gonna use ever but also at the same time like obviously there's no thought going into cash yeah other than just how much money should we give yeah and it always seems like a little bit too too little doesn't it of course i don't know can't tell went out to delaware this past weekend was sick you went to the delaware i - In Delaware. - Oh, I thought you meant Delaware. the delaware the delaware river and right away my mother-in-law hit me with some uh some mom donnie talks oh yeah she was just desperate to hit to talk mom donnie how's the city yeah you okay yeah are you guys holding up i would have to i had to explain that like uh new york is like if you're living if you have a problem with new york you're not outside in new york right now no i think it's like the best vibes that new york has ever had this summer because the knicks the knicks and the world cup and like it's hot out it's like warm it's very hot yeah i don't know even biking in last night just had me charmed by new york i think that's just like people are furious about new york from afar yeah and they're just like fucking mom donnie yeah there's a lot of people that don't live in new york that think new york is like a full-on like war zone yeah because that lady of the the video of the lady trying to burn down like the immigration office yesterday she just lit the pavement on fire they're like fucking mom donnie yeah yeah i wonder what percentage of people who kind of complain about the threat of of mom donnie's sort of communist stance even know what why communism is a threat no i think that's just the way it is i think they view communism as like this dark fucking specter that is going to come in and beat their children up or something and why is it a threat to you well i have my you know i mean i had to ask my smarter friends than me the same question i was like i understand why communism was a threat you know in the 20th century uh with it being sort of the soviet union yeah and and you know all of that but like uh why specifically is it so dark right now and my friends were like well it just first of all it's never worked ever uh it is the loss of private property it's the loss of privacy it's uh it's also a false and uninstatable uh like position like there's no true communism because like within communism becomes like an oligarchy and it's like the property goes to them the good food goes to them there's like silos of grain in kazakhstan or whatever and it's like it's better to be out of it for those people but it's like it's never actually happened it tends to lead to like the erosion of uh basic rights and uh the collect collectivization of media and state nationalization of of stuff like that and i mean that that's what i've been told so i now understand why yeah i don't like my i guess i don't like mom donnie out there because i don't want him to take my stuff i'm trying to sell it if he wants to buy it i'll sell it if he wants my guitar but he's not gonna he's not gonna buy my he's gonna own everything he's gonna take my guitar and give it to that venezuelan woman yes exactly so that she can play it in the subway and earn a living he won't see a dollar the people who are pissed off about it are not in new york and you could tell that because like their criticisms of mom donnie are wrong like if you wanted to criticize him criticize him for like all the homeless people that are everywhere and the promises that he made about homelessness that didn't come true that he's like i'm gonna have social workers on every case like that would be a more valid criticism and i think if you talk to people who are outside that's something that they've noticed not that like i don't know that someone tried to burn down the immigration office that shit has nothing to do with him that there's like a looming threat in the city yeah i think that uh but i guess i don't know drives clicks i mean he isn't like i don't know i'm not i'm not super opinionated on it but like isn't he doing like a pretty solid job i don't know i don't know my life hasn't changed nobody's life has changed damn near anybody's life hasn't fucking changed so like what are you talking about other than reels you see where they put like dark music behind a muslim call to prayer and like you're like oh well of course he's got to be a bad guy our people people are praying in the streets people are yeah also like there's always been immigrants in new york and there always will be i can't tell like since trump has come in with like i cannot tell the difference in the immigrant experience like i can't i don't see fewer or more immigrants me and my uber driver had a great had a great convo yesterday about uh the immigration in america you know on the way home i was told roan this on the way home after we recorded last night me and my i had a ukrainian uber driver who spoke to me the entire trip the 30-minute drive through google translate he would go like ballistic in ukrainian or russian whatever language it was and then he would play it on like siri and then i would like start talking and be like and then he would like go again and then then play it it was pretty interesting he said his i think the guy's idea was mexican people should be allowed to work but they should only be allowed to come for six months and then they have to take themselves home yeah but he also said like if you're born harvest yeah exactly he was like people need to work um and then he said that yeah he was just throwing around a bunch of crazy ideas but he was like i think it's crazy that uh like people that are born in texas or california get like sent back somewhere that they'd never been and i was just like yeah i agree it's like i didn't really have much to add i was kind of just saying yeah a bunch yeah um fuck what was i gonna say uh i asked him if he played counter-strike at the end he's from ukraine why did you text roan that and not me as well he didn't text me he told me in person oh thank god yeah don't worry i was gonna say that's a very interesting and funny story that i think would have even the group chat yeah yeah appealed to my specific telling it was interesting we went we because we started it out with no google translate but i think he kept on saying i wasn't understanding what he was saying so then he eventually switched oh but he was saying uh he was like i he was like i had a great life in ukraine before the war he said he was a military yeah he was like i was like a you said he was like very in the military for two years and he said now he's here and he said it's awful he said he has no he's nothing here and why did he come because his country is at war yeah that makes sense well get out if you don't like it then fucking leave that's not my take it's like dude if your life was great there and you were in the military and now it's under attack well i think you not want to go back and fight he'd be like he served his time already i'm sure i'm sure they'd let him back yeah yeah but i think no i don't think he wants to that's totally fair i guess i don't know i get i get a little uh i maybe this is a totally i'm like dude if you if you liked your country that much and you loved your life that much and you were trained to fight in your military and you don't like it here yeah wouldn't you rather go back and try to win the war so you can restore your life for your home country i don't think there's any winning that war contribute i don't know i think i agree i mean but i think he did fight in the war let's put it this way he's only lived here for two years we're getting dinner tonight we're getting greek yogurt he's in line now he uh did you see that bts was at that halftime show for the world cup yeah yeah so i didn't realize this but those guys all went on hiatus because they had mandatory military service in korea yeah they were like at like imagine being in a fucking platoon with those beautiful baby face boys who are they fighting who who is korea at war with they're not i think they just have a required they just have mandatory military service but like yeah that i mean bro they're like the most famous people on earth yeah i know they had some light-ass service for sure they weren't doing shit yeah sitting in the studio ordering people around it's like derrick zoolander when he goes to work in the mines they're all just like toting their guns around their camo fatigues are all like tailored imagine them having to be at like the north korean border like the military guards that they put there that have to like high step and like puff their chests out to like have a show of strength just by how they stand it would be a good way to mog uh the north koreans i wonder if the north koreans know about bts god no i mean i'm sure kim does kim jong but i don't think uh the citizens have definitely have no dude they don't even know about taylor swift they're too busy celebrating their world cup i saw that tweet of somebody being like when when north korea finds out that they five owed spain in the final there's some guy walking through the streets our team beat bts in the world cup yeah this is a dumb question but like the people that live in north korea do they do they hate it or do they like or are they like we're the best it's i think it's a mix i think they like socks but we're also the best well i think a lot of them are starving yeah it depends on who you listen to if you listen to that uh buxom woman that went on joe rogan said that they were all eating rats or whatever but then everybody said that that lady's lying and so it's like if you're saying the girl who's saying north korea is bad is lying then you're saying north korea is great nice it's great it's sick there That's communism, right? I don't know what that is. korea is a communist that's like pretty pure communism um and then but but it's communism under a dictator which is often how it happens right yeah of course um that sucks what are what is the most functional communist country in the world right now is it china it's probably china right yeah but china is like is like capitalist like that you can become a billionaire in china if you want yeah yeah um vietnam laos cambodia cuba is russia still considered a communist it is right i don't know no longer communist and has operated as a capitalist federation since the collapse of the soviet union in 1991 well that's really interesting interesting look look you know what guys i think i'm gonna come clean right now i don't know shit yeah i don't know anything i don't know shit i'm dumb i'm stupid as fuck of course we're dumb that's the point that's what people are signing up for that's the point of the sometimes i put on podcasts and it's like such a dense listen like it's it's annoying for your brain this podcast is supposed to be like a fact every 15 minutes and between it might be wrong absolute fluff i think that i think that uh i used to think i was smart and then this podcast made me realize it's way more fun to just not know yeah yeah and talk about them just coast yeah just it's a coasting podcast it's supposed to be you gotta let go of your expectations stop holding us to such a high standard i don't know where that comes from how many conversations do you need to listen to about fucking diarrhea before you're like yeah i'm surprised they didn't know that russia was a communist it's way better to be dumb it's so much better to be dumb it's fun man because when people are smart they're like things that they're entitled to success yeah it's like like you're not you're not entitled to success and uh you actually are probably dumb i'm done in kruger i've i've reached a point where i am stunned when things go my way professionally oh yeah stunned i'm like that what those people want me no surely not but it's happening less and less because i've really started to coast real quick harry did a viva list dual clip any of the stuff about austin i don't know i didn't see oh they did nice what are they saying i said sass is cooking sass lays out the evidence top tier zinger from rome wow holy shit that's got to be the one about me though good gas good gas that's got to be that uh that the the take notes francis because that was so funny i don't know i don't know i can't i can't possibly watch it i need to watch it i need to follow me around and say i'm just a man after i get a positive retweet from viva la stool yeah viva la um what do you guys what are you guys doing tomorrow are you going somewhere i feel so unburdened having admitted that i'm stupid yeah it's so nice what a what like yeah okay we're all on the same page let's relax unburdened by what has been i'm stupid that's kamala harris yeah um what do you where are you guys going tomorrow aren't you like i came out yeah that's how it feels like oh finally dad i'm stupid and now all i want is for the audience to be like you know what we still like you all the same or your dad being like son i always i always knew i always knew you were dumb we always knew i could tell look how you walk yeah yeah i'm about doing shit tomorrow i don't have anything i have a golf shoot oh with trent well that was supposed to be today but there's going to be severe severe thunder storms yeah it's supposed to be bad yeah we were going to do something pretty funny too but we'll make it happen we're just apparently the subways are going to flood i saw that my daddy is flooding in there they're saying the waters there's never been this clean oh but i saw people being like there was like a bus lane that was flooded and people are like mom donnie you have fucking two years to figure this out before the city rises up against you damn um city's going to shit so he's going to shit just i think now is the real test now that the world cup is over you can't you can't coast now now is the real test it'll be winter people will be angry he's going to need the jets to have a good season or the giants someone's going to have to play well yeah yeah i can see the giants being okay can the yankees going if the yankees going to run but the socks are 14 in a row yeah have they won 14 in a row the red socks yeah oh my god they were so bad after hogdale got hired hogdale's turning up the heat on them yeah it's a winning team he's creating an aggregate wow we want 20 we're going for 20 20 what's the record 23 for the athletics i thought it was 20 is it 20 i don't know if anyone's ever broke 20 uh 26 for the giants whoa it's 1916 cleveland indians 22 oakland a set oh it was 20 so why was the oakland days thing so because it's modern era 1916 19 there's 2017 2017 indians 22 oh so that oh that was after so we need another money ball oh my god and they and they took that they took jonah hill from the indians in the movie right 15 years different though wow you think he went back yeah it's probably hill the whole time i feel like billy bean gets a little too much credit when it was really hill it was hill he just followed the uh billy bean just followed the plan right king of the hill he just hired the right guy yeah and he poached him he poached him from the indians yeah just because he was nerding out in the office basically the plot of jerry mcguire jerry mcguire shouldn't get any credit it should be that fucking chipmunk looking woman man my stomach's going nuts all right yeah i gotta take a dump great episode just so so so classic to who we are i liked it a lot i feel unbelievably light of soul i'm glad i'm glad to hear i'm so fucking stupid i'm very happy to hear that and i really am i believe it too i i no no no i i it's fine yeah we need to title this episode we are dumb so anybody that has anything like to say about what we think it's like bro you're arguing with a dumb person i mean that makes you dumb well you don't think we're right no no no never when you argue with fools or whatever what's that saying i don't know you don't argue with fools because from a difference no one can tell who's who so you start arguing with us that makes you dumb dude i was watching the show i was watching the show i was watching the show i was watching the really quick i watched i started watching this movie called dead man's uh wire on netflix yes i watched it heard of that it's pretty good so far i'm only like three quarters of the way through about i think it's based on this true story where like a guy based in milwaukee yeah it was or yeah minneapolis some shit same was like pretty upset that a mortgage loan company had he had gotten a mortgage hadn't paid his you know interest on time so they like kind of he believes that they made it impossible for him to succeed and like fucked him over so he walks into the office with a gun and he meets with the son of the founder of the firm and uh in his office and he pulls a gun on him and like rigs this contraption that it's like a shotgun rigged to a wire yeah where if he moves or and anyone tries to like take the gun away or whatever it'll blow the guy's head off yeah takes him hostage brings him home and he's like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die and tries to start issuing all these demands um is this that wait is this the movie where like about like the guy that's like on the stock broking like tv show he's like similar to that he gets on uh he calls the radio host huh i feel like there's another i mean this is the same movie that i'm thinking of and then the reason i bring this up is that the the radio host he he he's talking to him and uh and he's put the radio host is played by coleman domingo who's great and he says um holding on to anger against someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die yeah that was such a bar yeah it's poetic i'd never heard that i think it's from hinduism or something like that but that really stuck with me and i think someone said that to me before but i forgot it but i thought that was a good that's not even holding on to anger oh i'm never without it can't leave that shit on you yeah yeah drives talked you got a yeah you got a concealed carry for your anger i have drunk quite a lot of poison no one else has died and wondered at the continued health of my enemies yeah the funniest thing about that movie and actually the the ending is amazing i have to spoil it no no no no i'm gonna finish it finish it tonight i want to watch it i'm gonna watch it right when i get home because the dad the dad is like uh have you gotten the part where they talk to the dad and he's like uh like you'll finish it tonight figure it out yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's al pacino right he's got a gun to his head and he's like we can't negotiate with this huh chino's in it pac-man yeah pac-man jones yeah i'm definitely watching it okay i gotta go to this thing all right good luck we'll see you guys next week goodbye you Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.