The Fat Electrician Vs Buc-ee’s & Angry Cops Jumpout Boy Stories | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 283

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the Name Your Price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. You put a man in the woods or a big scary bear, I'm going to go for the bear. Helen Keller is what brought up this conversation. As a natural Saturday conversation goes. Connor only thinks of you when his butthole's dilated. It's true. As do most women. How the f*** did you turn this back around on me? Yeah, well, I'm in the middle of something. Is the history in me? The time is passing. This is just like, why? Why don't I even talk? It's a Bully Brandon day. Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. Brandon, his hair is f***ing fabulous. Listen, don't I? A dark joke disposition. And there's a fat electrician. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Ready? Oh, yeah. Ah, s***. There should be another. Oh, wait. Okay, yay. Three, two, one. Hi, everyone, and welcome to the Unsubscribe podcast. Today, I am so pleased to be joined by Eli Doubletap, Nick, the fat electrician, Rich, Angry Cops, King Trout, and myself, Brandon Herrera. Thank you for being here. Donut Operator. And Brone Up Operator. Yay, we're all here. Yay. We have an event tonight. But today, we get to hear about a whole bunch of stuff that everyone was trying to talk before we started the episode. It's the hardest thing. Connor was like, Eli's saying, shut up and stop talking. Just let me live my life. Yeah, sorry our life is so cool. When we record our conversations, we would have otherwise you tune in by the thousands. Sorry we're actually friends, in real life and want to talk about things we enjoy. Yeah, I'm not friends with these people. Yeah, all right. Well, it's sorry that four of us at the table are friends with each other and like to talk. Well, sorry, the three of us at the table. I wouldn't say my romantic, my relationship with you is platonic. It's almost exclusively romantic. They fuck a lot. Yeah, we're not friends. We small head gang. Who? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know, more for the fans. We found out that Connor and Rich have the exact same head size. It's true. Wait, what? Yep. Yeah. Our parents are mothers. The vaginal birthing canals were human size. Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't the size of a small hippopotamus. Your poor mother. I appreciate probably feel your thoughts. She pushes you out. Small hippopotamus. Just the genius to be like, I need to let him know he's fat, but I. I don't want him to be confident about being large either. Well, tiny hippopotamuses are adorable. There's a Japanese hippopotamuses following. Is this Richard's head? I think so. No, you're that. Look at that. Also, Rich is the king of insults. Uh, I think it was the first time we met in person. He said something I will not repeat on camera, but, uh, Doug, cause most people go, wait, say it anyway. And we'll cut it. No, I'm not going to say it's a thing. I think to myself at three o'clock in the morning on bad days, I wish I could remember it. But most people go with, you're gay. You're skinny. I've heard it. I've heard it all a thousand times, mostly from family and close friends, which found the bone marrow source of my, my dark thought and said it to me in jest. And I was like, eh, fuck you too. And then like two weeks later, I was taking a shit. This is in Vegas. When we first met two weeks later, I'm back home in Indiana, taking a shit. And I had that thought and I was like, man, that guy immediately texted you son of a bitch. I had that effect on people. I, I, I can, I know they're kryptonite just by looking at them, you know, Connor only thinks of you when his butthole is dilated. It's true. How wrong is that to most women? Now, now he's going to the baseline. You're gay again, lame, weak, not you. I didn't say that. He can go for the kill shot again. If you'd like, I'm pretty sure that it was, it was based on your, uh, outfit. No, no, I didn't. I liked your outfit. Your outfit was very good. Now I need to try and remember it. I throw out so many rude things all the time and consistently that. I just, I can't remember. Accuracy by volume. One of them hit rich, rich. This is why you weren't artillery. That was a direct hit. There's already six more in round. I don't remember the direct hit. Sorry. Get down. I'd have been anti aircraft or world war two. And you mean you just throw it up there and it explodes and just, you don't even have to be close. It's just scatter shots. Everything. This one was a sniper shot. It's like, I wouldn't tell my wife. This thought that I have, this was like the assassination from wanted through the windows where I was literally, I was like, is he watching? Like, how does he know that? I think that from time to time, because I'm also, um, uh, what he's got not incompetent on, I'm incompetent. Um, a bad movie with Angelina Jolie. Oh, what's it called? Where you have like self insecure, insecure. Thank you. Yeah. He found my greatest insecurity, but I've never shared with anybody the second you met. And that's why he's a detective. I'm glad he's since forgotten. There was something in the last podcast that I said, like, I was just like ribbing you as a friend. And I just saw that look. You're like, all right. So we're enemies for today. Oh, no, I like, I enjoy the, the verbal fencing that we do, but whenever somebody else engages in the, you know, I'm just like, Oh, okay. Sweet. That was, that was a werewolf day, which is, which is like, he's like a jujitsu coach. That's playing nice with the students. And then the one student gets too squirrely and tries something. You could see the jujitsu coach go. All right. Now we're actually doing this. Oh, oh, you thought that was a good one. No, you're ready for the real thing. Here we go. Uh, my, one of my friends, one of the guys that I worked with that ended up being an internal affairs and investigated me often on my complaints. He told me a thing that stuck with me and I love it. Uh, he's like rich. I always know when, uh, you're done messing around with people on your body came and you arrest them. I was like, how's that? He's like, well, you tell them that's it. And when you say that's it, that is it. You are done talking. You are done trying to convince them. It is a rest time. Zero was zero to a hundred. I go, really? He goes, yeah. And it's funny. Cause the way that you say it, isn't like, that's it. You know, he goes, I go, I think I know what you mean. And I repeated it. I'll go, that's it. That's it. The second you hear, that's it. Like a cartoon character. Jail time. Your son's going to know that sound. Oh yeah. Oh, my thing that I, uh, that I do with the dogs that I feel like I'll definitely do with my son is like, you must've lost your mind. That that's the thing that I do. I do with the privates too. You must've lost your mind. Okay. It's the saying everyone. Yep. Once you have it, he, you know, that saying, Brian, I just, I'll do a look and he'll be like, oh, oh, I am sorry, daddy. I am sorry. Speaking of which though, uh, you sent me an Eli video this morning. Cause what we talked about on the podcast yesterday, where the guy lost his fingers in the, the, in the mortar. Oh, the mortar one. Yeah. Oh, I saw that. He delete, uh, where it was a, uh, an NCO or a senior NCO Marine. No, no, no. This is different. So there's a mortar. The thing, the original video that you showed on, uh, when your Darwin awards was a us army soldier hanging like an 80 millimeter round. Yeah, it was army. And then he keeps his hand over the tube and then finger delete. Right. The one that I sent you is a Marine and there's a Marine doing like a 40 millimeter mortar and he drops it down the tube. And when he drops down the tube, instead of just like keeping his hand motion going down and away from the muzzle of the mortar, he goes, drop the round hand over. Top of the hole. And then it goes off and his NCO rightfully. So just goes, what the fuck? And smacks them across. It was like a bitch slap as he pushed them against the, against the side of the little bunker. Good. They were solid. NCO. Was he doing like, like magic trick? Like what? Why? Like, like a rabbit in the hat. This is what you do. You go, Oh, and then like you drop it, get the out of the way. Hang on to. Fire. Ooh. What the fuck? He's a little lucky doc. How the fuck are you doing? What'd he say? NCO walk. Fuck. Who the fuck are you doing? The NCO walk into that hole. Yep. It's a good NCO. Oh, it's a great NCO because you know, what's going to happen when that guy loses his fingers. Like the army guy did is the first line leader, him, his NCO is going to get hemmed the fuck up. Why is your guy doing this stupid, dangerous thing that we teach everybody not to do? And then the best excuse you can say is like, I don't know. It's like a woman driver. They all know what to do, but they still go, I turn now. And then. And then you're fucked. I can't stop it. Am I wrong? That's a perfect analogy. Yeah. I'm very smart. It's great. Yeah. They take all the same tests as us. I'm thinking, I'm like, I'm thinking about this more and more. Yeah. Damn. They are just retarded. They get in less crashes because they're not as aggressive the drivers and take chances like men, but they are worse drivers unless you count hitting curbs. Oh Jesus. If only. Yeah. But you don't call that into your insurance claim. Hmm. Daddy, I backed up into a tree. Just get. My sister wrecked three cars in like two years. She's the one that changed your diaper. My God. I love this. I hope my sister's watching this. She changed his diapers. I don't know if you guys are done with that. As a grown man. last week when we did the show the live show in buffalo and i brought my family there and you know everybody was really excited because you know i was it was the funny kid and i always wanted to stand up and like there i am i've made it i'm on stage and my family gets to see me it was really cool your attention seeking who would have thought wow richard quiet i was waiting for that when you said that i was waiting for that eyes again the if it's true i appreciate it the buffalo show is funny because you gave the speech to everybody because you were proud you were having your moment you're like i just i've been doing this ever since i was a kid that wouldn't shut the up in church and our venue was a church still the kid that won't shut the up in church we all had reservations about that by the way the buffalo show is a massive beautiful church yeah uh and we're just like oh i feel bad saying half of the shit we're about to say in a church venue that's all right it was protestant it doesn't count you say didn't peter disavow christ so it's like as long as you don't do that i think you're okay yeah well i think christ uh made him the rock upon which he would found his church you're right so if you say bad words you could hold the keys to heaven are we doing mormon shit now yeah bring it back to the common anyway yeah power slammed to a table so we yeah we do i do the thing like hey this is really cool blah blah and my family's there and they're meeting everybody and my sister meets cody and she's like a little star struck she's just like oh my gosh these guys like friends with my brother but also i see him on the internet this is really cool and normally she's very funny she's quick-witted she's sarcastic i think she was just a little star struck and cody's like oh yeah i like rich and out of nowhere she goes i used to change his diapers like some weird fucking aunt at a family reunion and the second she did it because i'm me and my family is brutal like you guys think i'm mean to you my family my father my father and i oh it's back and forth no holds bars it's in it's intense it's hysterical but very we're very witty and i look at my sister and i say like that same thing i'm like you changed my how embarrassing for you to say that oh and i made her feel this fucking big for like 30 seconds and she's never lived it down i still go now it's like oh man wow thanks for coming over christy i really appreciate by the way did you know that you changed my diaper shut up shut up shut up you shut up that was a great show though because i mean that was the first time we'd ever done because apparently this is the thing in buffalo is throwing people through tables yeah and with no training whatsoever no practice you're just like we're gonna be doing that and then something triggered something i said or whatever you were just like you're getting thrown through a fucking table you looked at me and you made eye contact and you didn't look away which means yes consent thank you eli whatever i don't i have the same rule about women in parking lots i was gonna say that's your feet slapping really fast means why she was staring at me i was oh that's a happy run she's not even breathing hard this is great good god anyway exhausting yourself first but you're just like okay you're getting thrown through a table and then i said the same thing but then uh everybody made fun of me for getting thrown through a table wrong editor pull up the clip no practice no what's up it's in the intro of every episode of this podcast and i'm like oh yes brandon yeah oh that's true that's actually great but they're like i don't watch the podcast it's like the mcdonald's owner eating his own hamburger hey pull up that clip that plays every episode like she forgot about the golden arches thing i'm like is that just a deal is that part of like in high school like what yeah how did they just learn to get thrown through tables my favorite part about that is like months prior to the buffalo show rich is rich text me he's like hey you think you can throw me through a table to which i said yes didn't hear anything about it for the rest of the time i re i tore my other peck and i was in a sling for that show and rich pulls out the table i haven't heard about this in months but i know what's happening and i was like oh i'm surely rich messaged someone else to throw him through the table because my dominant arm is now in a sling and i look around the table and eli's like what is going on and i looked down the table and nobody else has any idea what's going on i'm gonna have to throw rich through a table with my left hand okay here we go and you did it wonderfully it happened rich helped me out he gave he gave it a jump i did i knew that there's gonna have to be like a little assistance there very wwe is that like a bills thing yeah okay it just became like a custom three bills fans every year get their neck broken getting thrown through tables wow oh no we know how to fall we know how to take a bump we're good the stomp thing well not three bills fans three of you the stomp he's lying too when the numbers are way over oh the stop oh yeah because we were in that old church and it's like literally the building is shaking because there's that second level like where the choir would be and i was genuinely concerned for the structural stability of a 200 year old church there's the stage lighting and you're seeing the dust rattle through the stage lighting like we can see the like the the floorboards the balcony like rocking up and down like how dare you question a house of god house of protestant god better he's nicer he likes us more he lets women preach depends on which protestants yeah i feel like we're painting with a wide brush here yeah geez come on now you know the acoustic guitar kind yeah most of them we make predictions every single day about politics pop culture the economy and the biggest stories making headlines kaoshi america's number one predictions market platform lets you trade predictions in a live market let's uh use formula one for example will kimmy antonelli become the f1 driver's championship this year well let's see what he's trading at 75 now what does that mean let's say you bet a hundred dollars that he's going to win this well that a hundred dollars would have a trade-out pay of 131 if kimmy wins the driver's championship he's going to also you can do other things like politics i could uh uh we all do love kaoshi we all use it and it's fun it has many different options from soccer video games politics you catch my drift and there's many ways to win on kaoshi you're trading gets peers in a live market meaning there is no house and as the probability changes you can buy in or cash out your position download the kaoshi app and use code unsub to get ten dollars when you trade ten dollars k-a-l-s-h-i kaoshi trade on anything restrictions and eligibility requirements apply event contract trading involves risk and may not be suitable for all investors kaoshi products are not available in all jurisdictions prices values and available markets may differ from those mentioned for more information see kaoshi.com regulatory go use code unsub our god is an awesome that is my uh it's a ptsd for basic training bro every for basic training oh yeah you'd have like weird that's what you got your off time if you you go to church that's when you get your break so you'll like who's going to church otherwise you're in just yeah you're doing it's getting fucked up well that or you're doing area beautification so if you don't want to sweat and mow in like 90 degree heat south carolina or georgia then you go to church so the first week in basic training like a third a quarter of the kids go to church i'm atheist next week i'm christian the second week over like two-thirds of the kids go to church and then you go to church and you're looking at like catholic kids go into like jewish or mormon you know things you're like oh because they've got rice crispy treats huh nathaniel dude i literally looked at one kid this year or last year little catholic kid a little hispanic and he goes to um uh the mosque for the islam um things uh services and i go rodriguez wow shalom i'm coming in yeah i do i do know a catholic guy who was a marine and he converted to buddhism because their church is just sitting in silence so you just gotta sit down and read books for an hour that's what women will do to you you know so i look at a lot rodriguez and i'm like huh interesting you're going to islam services that's cool all right you got phone calls today i want you to call your mom and let her know that i want to hear your mom i want you to say it to your abuela i want to hear it i gosh i mean you're just doing it like you had to let her know right you're doing this thing i mean you converted i just it'd be interesting to hear what she has to say he's like i can't tell my family i don't know why i don't understand why what do you mean well they're very catholic oh are they now well that's all right i mean you just just let them know that you've accepted a new religion that's fine that's who you are no privates have to be if i'm watching another private go through that oh he knows everything yeah his little buddy tried to stick up for him she was like uh drill star he's like uh he's i go shut the yeah that's what i said no i just no man i strengthened his faith don't fucking judge me he's doing the lord's work yeah he's on his own crusade over here pulling him away from his life he's going to services with his friend having a good time like why would he be i don't understand why he would fear the the wrath of his roman catholic very mexican family i don't understand the guy made a decision right good for him all right definitely not for the hot cocoa and coca-cola he would get not for that call maria right now and tell her you reject jesus Christ in front of me, please. Well, I didn't say that. No, well, that's horrible. I'm just letting him know that he made a life change, and that's very nice of him. You know, that's very good of him. What a bold decision to make. Chancla, come to the East. I could hear it. I'm just shocked the winds are shifting. I'm just shocked a Hispanic Catholic would rather go to, would rather reject his God than do lawn work. That is a great joke. I can't laugh at it, because it's just, you can't, I mean, it's not, it's like a Jackson Pollock. It's art. Yeah, somebody write that one down. Appreciate something like that. It was such a good one. None of us laughed. I'll see you in the mail. Because we're all just like, oh. That's a good one. You know it was good because of the silence. I was being sincere. Also, I want to trust CAG lines. She kept staring at me, and then I could tell I was good because of the silence. And the muffled sprinkles. They're real quiet when they're dead. Why aren't we in the same frame? I know. It was out of ridge. Yeah, you didn't want a ridge. I'm restraining myself right now. I was going to bring up something else, but. It's good to have a buffer between us, because then I'll just, you know, I'll go dark Brandon. You forgot his wig. Yep. Thank God. You know what? I didn't forget my caloric intake. Watching it. I'm just watching it. Fat. That is a good point. Fat. If calories were votes, you'd be in trouble in this election. What's the Futurama bit? Why does the larger one not simply eat the smaller one? Oh, Nick, how's the sad people couldn't have done this? Smooth segway. I've got one more. Bring me Han Solo in the cookie. I was so mad with the cookie gate that went out on Twitter. X does not have the gif of Majin Buu turning the demon guy into a giant cookie and eating him. I have no idea what the fuck you were talking about. Dragon Ball Z. Majin Buu is like this literally a gigantic fat ball. Ball of bubble gum. It's like an unstoppable alien. And there's like this badass demon dude that's been brought in to fight him. And Majin Buu literally turns him into a cookie and eats him. I was like, this would be the perfect gif, but they didn't have it. I was very upset. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home in auto policies. Potential savings will vary. Do your thing, Internet. He gets turned into a cookie. Oh, that's the cookie guy. The cookie guy's that. Majin Buu is that. And that's his first form. He gets bigger. Or smaller. More ripped. It's his second form? Dragon Ball lore is that's Fat Buu because he ate one of the Grand Kai's before that. He was Kid Buu. Kid Buu is the evil one that just destroys everything. Once he takes form into like Goku and all those, then he becomes like, I can sentient talking. That's why when they remove the Grand Kai, they're like, don't do that. And then he turns back into Kid Buu. Dragon Ball Buu Sahaga. I had a Piccolo action figure I got at Burger King. Yeah, that makes sense. You probably loved that thing too. I did. Stuffed it right in my ass. This guy's a Piccolo guy. I can tell from the beginning. That's the first thing you do with your Piccolo action figure. Yeah, that's what I do. Okay, I got it. Mom, I need a 12-pack of mason jars. I still have two of those golden Pokemon cards rattling around up in there. I love that scene. It's just you opening and disappointing action figures until you get that one. You're excited. Oh, he got the right one. I'm thinking of that viral video of the kid with the TV remote having a fucking meltdown. Oh, yeah. Like, wait, what the f***? That's my rage response. I shoved things in my ass. It's also your pleasure. It's your pleasure response. Yeah, it's a complicated relationship up there in my noggin. It's like Mr. Slave on that South Park episode. He just, like, jumps on somebody and swallows them with his anus. I don't remember that one. You don't remember that one? No. It's Paris Hilton. Mr. Slave swallows Paris Hilton in his butthole. No, I don't remember that episode. Am I right? Nope. Lemmy Winks? Lemmy Winks. Lemmy Winks. Lemmy Winks from In the Mansard Gay. Hundreds of South Park episodes. You passed the small intestines. What were you going to say? I was going to ask about any pushback from the Buc-ee's stuff, because you just did a video. I haven't been able to read all the comments. There's a lot of comments. I feel like I was pretty balanced. I was giving Buc-ee as much leeway as possible, but their lawyers are f***ing insane. Like, the criteria that they're suing some of these gas stations with is outrageous. See, there you go. You're not attacking Buc-ee's. You're attacking their law firm. Yeah, basically. That's kind of what I was alluding to. You know, like, you know, basically, like, I really do think that Buc-ee's is just like, okay, we have to preserve our trademark. We're just going to hire some big law firm to do it. And the law firm has a blank check. The more people they go after, the more money they make. So they were going after everybody. But, like, they point to different gas stations' logos, and they point to trademark characteristics. And the things they list as trademark characteristics are f***ing ridiculous. I watched your video. I thought you were incredibly fair. Because the first thing I saw when I clicked on that thumbnail, I was like, careful. You know, this is a Texas thing. But I think you were incredibly fair in that. And my favorite comparison you made was their criteria for the trademark and how, basically, by their own definitions, they copied Bass Pro. Yeah, 100%. Was it animal, round eyes? What was it? Some of the trademark criteria that they'd cited in other lawsuits. I'm dead serious. Yeah. I can't believe you scoffed. They used some dirty, round-eye cartoon. You're implying that if you used an Asian racist caricature on your cartoon, Buc-ee's couldn't sue you. That's true. That's the only way you could do it. It has to be humanoid. Didn't we talk about this? Yeah, we did. That's why I lobbed him that softball that Rich interrupted. I paused. Rich, I paused. Oh, don't you give me that shit. I waited. I waited like five seconds. No, it's fine. It's just I'm the kid at the baseball game with the glove, and you're the f***ing Karen reaching in front of me to grab it. It's fine. I didn't want it. There's no way this guy's 12. I am eight years old. I am 12. Nick ripped the ball out of your hand. But yeah, no, I mean, the trade characteristics were. A cartoon looking to the looking to the right, having its mouth open, having round eyes, having similar facial characteristics such as ears, nose and a mouth being outlined in black, which is my favorite one. Wow. So like a trade. Yeah. Literally anything. Drawing. I said a drawing of a face. I said it in the video. I was like, could you imagine if the first guy that wrote a book tried to say that he owned the intellectual property of writing? Down. Letters and the color black and nobody else was allowed to do it ever like that literally describes Mickey Mouse if he's looking to the right. Well, yeah, because it's it's it's prior art is what they say in intellectual property terms. Like there are so many instances of that before them that that's insane that they're allowed to protect. Well, and then they got the idea for the Bucky Beaver cartoon from the Ipana toothpaste beaver from like the 50s or whatever. So Ipana, you got the idea from somewhere else. And then using. A yellow background using the color red McDonald's the animal being the color brown, which I would argue is probably the most common color for an animal with fur being an aquatic animal because they sued they sued some gas station other gas station in Texas. It had a duck had an alligator as it's well, it's not brown. So they said that it also had round eyes and open mouth showing its teeth. And it was an aquatic animal. So clearly infringing everybody with a mascot, not like suing for like frivolous lawsuits like countersuit because they don't have enough money behind them. Yeah, they're suing small, small, the average Bucky. I don't I don't remember the exact numbers off the top of my head, but they have like 56 locations and I did the math. The average Bucky's is bringing in like $100 million a year Jesus for one location. I'm still going to go there every time I drive to Austin. I mean, yeah, but I mean, that kind of. That's how I kind of ended the video. I was like, look, I think your lawyers, I think you left the fucking dog off the leash and it's been biting people and you guys just didn't know because it's all small time news. But now it's made national news. The owner has addressed it. This is your guys's chance where you can come out and be like, look, that is what happened. We're sorry about it. We're going to reel in these lawyers and we're keeping an eye on what they're actually doing. So they're not doing dumb shit and are bad. I think it would all go fine if the owner made a statement, what did he say? So I'll let. Allegedly. Um, so the, the current issue is they were suing beaver Mart because they had a beaver mascot and they said it in French on their trademark, which does sound like one of the more legit ones. At least it's a beaver. It's called beaver Martin obviously. But what the context that was missing was, you know, beaver Mart is inside of beaver Creek, Ohio, where the city's logo is a beaver and the local high school mascots, a beaver and the beaver bowling alley and the beaver pizza. Everything. and f***ing beaver everything. Are they suing all the other beaver places? No. so and this is a small mom and pop gas station right it's not anything the guy that owns beaver mart owns four other convenience stores in ohio only one of them is beaver mart um and that was it so apparently according to uh the mayor of huber heights which is like the town right next to beaver creek that actually has the buckies in it according to that mayor he had a phone call with arch applin the owner of buckies and i believe arch told him that you know our side of the story is beaver mart applied for a federal trademark for beaver mart and applying for a federal trademark implies that they're going to try expanding beaver mart nationally and we that's why we went after him and we told him if they dropped the federal trademark application we wouldn't we'd drop the lawsuit oh okay well then i go and i look on the federal trademark there was no application for a federal trademark other news outlets tried to find it they couldn't find it the owner of beaver mart came out and said i've never applied for a federal trademark i applied for a state trademark in like 2019 because my bank asked me to just so i could do the doing business as beaver mart like just clerical financial business lingo bullshit a lot of the times with a trademark if your first to market or a product comes out then it's automatically trademarked anyway that's what's fucking insane yeah that's right we're perfect because of the way they are look at brandon he's perfect and the jeans complete him because they're perfect actually i don't think i've actually worn a pair of these but that is really really really stretchy although i those are fantastic that's why i wear those like i've never seen like a band of a jean that stretches that way don't you hate it when you have to jean fit jeans that don't you hate it that you um you had when you have to pick jeans that fit thighs or waist i always have a hard time finding a pair of jeans that fits my jeans delicate bird-like legs and my juicy fat ass but not with the perfect jeans are you constantly having to pull them up or do that awkward mid-conversation readjustment i'm constantly read readjusting my crotch during conversations same no that's all i buy they're stretchy and really comfy i'm glad we're sponsored by them because i'm gonna get these for free now for free the perfect oh and now that i'm reading that they also have boot cuts so perfect for texas six size fits from skinny to thick thick with two c's that's what fits my juicy ass they go all the way up to four c's and possibly a q if you have a ball it's perfect if you have big thighs perfect if you have small waist perfect and juicy juicy thick ass like me our listeners get 15 off your first order plus free shipping the perfect gene.nyc and use code unsubscribe 15 the perfect gene and use code unsubscribe 15 my least favorite part about the whole ordeal though was after which i thought you're very fair in your video with your assessment of like everything like you know hey it's probably not the company it's probably the lawyers please if you know bucky's if you're watching this which certainly they have by now uh you know just do the right thing you know just you know put this to bed my least favorite thing though is that it spurred uh us getting called out we got called out yeah we got called out for uh creating an ai influencer uh that we named nick the fat oh yeah i had somebody somebody commented wait what ai slop is getting so good i hope you guys don't believe this is a real person nick you could say the word if you're not real oh if you're ai you can say the word i would like her yes i don't know if i was using ai to generate myself i'd make myself better looking for sure oh well that's what we've been we've been toning the iterations that's why you've become the fit electrician it's fair he's slowly getting more and more jamming you'll actually you'll you'll notice we've been kind of perfecting uh you know we're running the scripts and running the scripts our ai model the fat electrician now the fit electrician he never he never looks the same in any two videos have you noticed that we're still just training the uh the ai that's why nick never puts three fingers in front of his face yeah correct i can't keep my hands out of all my videos physically incapable of it it's like oh my gosh i can't believe it look at how they're far away what was the responses to that i don't know so that one that one was recent and then there was also another comment on one of my videos that actually had a bunch of replies that uh basically they think that i'm a a a government plant because they were like i find it weird that this guy popped up right around the start of the ukraine war and is like pro-america rah-rah blah blah blah i don't know if they know that we're not in that war no yeah right and also like they're like that that's the only explanation for why they got into the pentagon which like oh that one i see believe me i still can't believe i bull in my way into the pentagon either but it's it's so hard to believe anybody on this podcast is politically connected thank you wait aren't you running for congress uh well this is where you find out i'm ai as well knew it am i the only we're the only ones that are real we're only i mean just the small-headed real people normal size normal size head on paper we are weird very weird it's like oh yeah they did all this by the way here's photos i mean at the white house in the pentagon i mean the imposter syndrome is pretty real if they did if they did open up like a calci bet on which podcast i'm going to be on the pentagon as government plants we would have to be trending as the most likely oh for sure you haven't seen some of the fucking garbage that's out there dude i know a guy who i tried to hook up with two women at a bar who would definitely be higher on that level yeah yeah that's fair i retract my statement connor has proved me wrong can we also throw in like people who are unknowingly like government uh extensions like sean ryan who's just like so wow wow i can't believe really i purchased some gummy bears wow yeah i got a sig for you don't drop it don't drop it i think sean is just the other three guys at this table would give a shit about being on a show so please continue i'm gonna text sean about this i'm like hey we uh we shit on you for a little bit yeah i still he's a good dude sean's great i'm not mad at sean i will say some of his guests come on and i wish he would just do more than some of the shit that is said on and it's not just his there's several podcasts where you'll just hear like oh yeah i did this for 12 years and you know i was here in these places anyway um interdimensional files touched me in my sleep and he's just like no can we like push back on that a little bit what the fuck are you talking about here's a six so it won't happen again i would say the opposite well he'll be interviewing like you know the greatest medal of honor recipient of all time and they're telling the story like so i did what i did and instead of like asking a follow-up question you'll be like wow yeah it's like you don't want to like dive investigate any further some of ours some of ours won't stop talking about a whole house a peak i have like three favorite bad interviews with sean ryan tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college that's why she shops at bj's wholesale club saving up to 25 off grocery store prices beef jerky microwave meals laundry pods even they can't screw up have you met my kids and with bj's gas she gets there for less they call me the road warrior this is your home road warrior mom home of the save join for just twenty dollars at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save and yeah they're like you watch a lot of his podcasts yeah i do what he has on yeah three episodes you don't want to miss i love you i shit on you constantly in your face right so like i enjoy sean so but and some of the reasons why i watch him is because it's so infuriating how bad some of these people that he interviews are so my top three worst interviews are one there is like a father and son who like did random handiwork for sf guys they're like yeah because we did some plumbing we're able to put up some scaffolding they brought us on secret bases and one day i was in an underground bar and i was like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna bunker and there was a big sheet over this thing that was floating and you couldn't see the bottom of it and then we walked down the hallway and we're like oh hey we got to go back now and so two minutes later we turn around and the whole thing's gone you're like okay all right and there was a lot of dumb stupid shit like that too just a bunch of like the you wouldn't even know people who don't know what special forces is that's what this guy was like talking about nonsense the other one is this is and this is like really close to my top one but it's my number two is the the custodian in uh the antarctic uh military post yes who's like you know how i get everywhere how i'm sean ryan i can't wait to listen to this i'm the janitor so i've got the keys because i gotta clean right so the janitor gets in everywhere a lot of blue collar folks on this podcast well or dumb liars either way two things can be true so you're like what a what a high school elementary level of like oh well the guy who has got to get it can get everywhere it's the stupidest the toppest of secrets we did no he's just mopping the floor don't mind him he's allowed to look at it yeah enter the nuclear code right behind the president he's literally just what is it uh what is it gub gub from uh rick and morty oh no i so interdimensional aliens oh man i really really still want ethan to do us a mock of sean ryan podcast Sean Fryen. We'll do just him. It could be Sean and Sean. It'll be me and him across from one another talking to each other like Sean Ryan. Hold on, I'm only 66% hard. What's number one? The number one one, this is great, is there is this old woman who looks like. Now you're fully hard. That was it. Who looks like you expanded a mentally deficient prune because she's just wrinkly and old with all this caked on makeup. And she talks like this all the time. Why? And she's supposed to be a remote viewer. Oh. And the entire time she's talking with Sean, it's the most infuriating thing ever and it's absolutely hysterical. I should actually just do a breakdown of how full of shit she is because it would be so much fun. She'll constantly be. She never gives a straight answer. Even in the moments where Sean kind of like asks her like, hey, what's that feel like? She'll be like, hey, you know what? I kind of like, you know, I have, you know, I see these things and they come to me and I write them down. And Sean's like, okay, well, how do you see them? Is there like a feeling? Yeah, I mean, I feel things when I see them. Sometimes when I go to bed, movies play in my head. Yeah. And he's like, all right, what's it feel like? I don't know. Does it feel like energy? Yeah, it feels like energy. Is the energy pink? Oh, yes. Sometimes it's got. He's just feeding her the answers and she's just like gobbling up like a fat. Beat that. And just, it's just the most obvious, foolish shit, palm reading, sorcery nonsense in a fucking finger f*** me because this werewolf is hot and sexy with a six pack f***ography fantasy nonsense. It's just so garbage. Well, it's just like kind of the remote viewers that they were talking about, like the CIA where they were trying to find like the Ark of the Covenant or something like that. It's in the desert. Yeah, like it's like CIA white papers and people, we're like, oh my God, the CIA knows about remote viewing. It's like, no, they did a study and the answer that they all came to was an item that was lost in the Middle East is in a dark place where people are speaking Arabic and there's sand around. Oh my God. Holy shit, alert the media. Are you going to go on Sean Ryan with that? That's great. I think I will. You can tell the story. We were talking about, yeah, remote viewers. We were talking about that yesterday. I think about the people who believe that children with autism have psychic powers. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. And then I played that clip of the. It's called Focus. I mean, is it a superpower? For many, yes. Get off your phone. Oh, that video, because it's the mom's like, look how. Oh, God. That car. Have you seen this? Yeah. The kids, oh my God. Please explain. I love it. Editor's got to pull this one up because you cannot grasp how fully just full of shit some people are. A completely nonverbal autistic man who his mother speaks. Well, Helen Keller is what brought up this. This conversation. Yeah. His mother speaks. As a natural Saturday conversation goes with us. Saturday night, I had a couple of beverages. Helen Keller. Time to talk about your thoughts on Helen Keller. Good morning, guys. By the way, I don't think that Helen Keller was real. I was like, you know what? I've heard some things. 7 a.m. on a Monday. Oh, that's. It was like, I don't see how she tried to fly around the world. Oh, yeah. I said, Helen Keller was blind and deaf. There's a reason. There's a reason. There's a reason. There's a reason she crashed that plane after she got out of the attic. Yeah. That she was the one in the attic. Helen Keller was eaten by a coconut crab. She was ripped to pieces by coconut crabs. She finished her diary. She got in a plane. And invented the ballpoint pen. Welcome to Saturday's conversation. Tell them about the. Yeah, I was trying to pull up the video. Well, this is going to be one of those episodes where everybody's going to be. It's going to be a hard cut from everybody cackling. Everybody's going to be cackling, laughing, and nobody hears my jokes because they can't be on YouTube. Let me find this video before I continue to describe it. While you're looking for that video, the one that just completely disappeared that Sean Ryan did was the email that he got, if you recall, after that guy blew himself up in the cyber truck in the Trump Tower in Vegas. Oh, yeah. Where they confirmed, I think, I want to say, don't quote me on this, but I want to say that they confirmed forensically that that was a real email from the guy who blew himself up. Yeah. Talking about how he had all sorts of clearances and that he was witness to all of the. He was being stalked by a federal agency and that's why he was driving around with firearms and explosives. But he was talking about anti-gravitational vehicles and we have them, China's got them, and there was a lot of details and he very, very plausibly had those sort of clearances and everybody just fucking forgot like two weeks later. Did we learn about them from the reptilians or the greys? I've heard one is friendly and one is not. I don't have that sort of clearance. However, I do. It was really weird though. Because you're not a janitor at the end. Damn it. I know I should have done that career path. Literally the keys to the entire empire. I did think it was weird though going to SHOT Show that year and seeing, because like we did, we had an event at the Trump and like rolling up to it and just seeing under the overhang just all the scorch marks and holes and shit where they still hadn't repaired it from the bombing. It's kind of wild. I do love that the government has come out multiple times and they're like, aliens are real and everybody's like, don't care. Anyways, that fascinates me. I love it. I made that TikTok four years ago and that happens so often. Every time it comes up, I'll just go on TikTok, steal my own reel, re-upload it and it will get four million views because it's every fucking like six months. Aliens are real. So I don't believe it. What's actually going on? Well, the thing is like they, the headlines are always like, government admits it's aliens. And then you actually read what the government said and they're like, yeah, here's some shit we saw on thermal. We don't really know what it is. Yeah, there was a Navy pilot saw something weird. But that thing went really fast and then stopped. All right. It's like, does Occam's razor really say gray men and a fucking UFO? Is that really what Occam's razor says? I don't know. Occam's razor shaved my balls. So this, this kid. I used Occam's razor to shave my balls. That actually kind of goes hard. It was the easiest solution. It was. Why has nobody had a razor company called Occam's razor? I think they did. I think there is one. Is there? Feels like a free space in bingo. It's the easiest solution. And there's the, yeah, see. There's the tagline. Someone's going to take all of that business model. That's okay. I'm not doing anything with it. I hate making money. It's true. I've seen him do it. So this guy, I should have not do it. Two degrees. This man has two degrees, nonverbal autistic. Two degrees, like college degrees? College degrees, yes. UCLA and I can't remember the other one. What's his mom do also? Oops. I don't remember. What does his mom do? She's the lie? Well, yeah. His mom sits by his side and interprets what he says. What's his mom's name? Spawn point. Jenna Bush Hager. No, no, no. That's the reporter. His mom is named Mary. Woody Brown is the name of this kid. So here's him communicating. And then his mom interpreting what he's saying on this. It's literally a piece of cardboard. I don't know if I have it at the right spot. His mom by his side. Woody attended UCLA to finally be in the room where the learning was happening. I felt like I was. I hope he's not even looking at the keyboard. He's not. He isn't. He isn't. There's several times. He's matching letters and then he's forming. It's not in a keyboard either. complex paragraphs. My phone is not in a keyboard. It's a paper that she can interpret. That's the whole point. Only she can interpret it. My favorite part is he keeps tapping after she's done talking and she just goes completely off to a different thing. You know what? It sounds oddly familiar. This one woman can only interpret this one thing. I believe her name was Ann Sullivan. Did she like have to put these things in like a box so other people couldn't see them while she interpreted these things? Oh, dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. I'm picking up what you're putting down. I mean, I don't know what I'm playing. Only I can interpret this. It's my son. Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. Brandon, do you need not. One more time. You got this, buddy. Brandon, can you. Brandon, do you like. Almost there, bud. Brandon, where do you store your firearms? All over my house in every f***ing crevice. Well, do I have the product for you, Nick? Show him. Here, hand it to me, Brandon, so I can show you. Brandon, this is Stopbox. Stopbox. Stopbox. We love box. You're selling me. What's in the box? You have to open it and find out. All right, well, let's see if I can do this. Oh, wow. Look at that. Oh, it didn't stop you. Can I hide my goop in that? You can hide your goop in that, Cody. Cody, do you know why I love this thing? Why? Why? Why, God, why? Because you don't have to use keys. Gone, not included. Cody, you've got multiple cats in your house, including Squirt, who's quite the scrapper. Would you want Squirt to have access to your firearms? No, he's violent. Well, then Stopbox is the perfect product for you. No cats getting inside that. Or people without thumbs. The nice part is it is actually TSA compliant. I didn't actually know that part until a couple months ago. That is actually really cool. You just put a little lock through there. Exactly. When you check in a pistol or any gun, if there's a hole that a lot can go through on whatever you're checking your gun in, you have to put a lock through it. through that. This has one hole so you just need one lock either - Easily accessible once you land on the ground. - I know you're not normally a one hole kind of guy, but this is definitely an exception to the rule. - And never worry about tariffs because everything is sourced right here in the USA. - Wait, what are tariffs? - I'm pretty sure I shot a few of them. - For a limited time only, get 10% off your entire order if you use code "unsubscribe" at checkout. - And right now, if you buy one stop box, you're gonna get another stop box free. So that's 10% off plus buy one, get one free when you use code "unsub" at checkout. - That's stopboxusa.com. - Discover a better way to balance security and readiness with stop box. - Stopboxusa.com. Use code "unsubscribe". - That's the page. - Yep. - Why is there a space? - Well, if you watch the video, she's just hitting. - That's actually a really good point. - We're just hitting like X repeatedly and then like not at nearly the pace. - Why is there a pause? - Why? Here's the thing. Here's the crazy thing, right? He was hitting Y a lot. - Oh yeah. - Not a very useful, like word. - Letter. Yeah, it's a sometimes. - Word, yeah. - It's the sometimes letter. - It's the texting, sorry. Sometimes a vowel. Yeah, I know I fucked that up. - Sometimes a vowel, sometimes a consonant. We're still so proud of you. What he meant to say was-- - Ricky learned good. - Yeah, just keep mashing Y. What he's saying, it's very complex, these thoughts that I have in this head of mine. - Ah! - Ah! - I'm a, I'm a take it. - I'm a take a lap. - It's okay, you guys gave him a million dollars or whatever, right? - Oh! - I hope this is ecliptic. It's pulled up next time they want to bring us into the Pentagon or something. - It's like these guys. - Ah! - Ah! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, look. - Ah! - Ah! - Ah! - What? - It's, he really likes Gandalf. You shall not. - Ah! - Y, Y, Y, Y, Y, X, Y, Y. - Happy, happy, horny, horny, horny, balls, boobs. - He says he needs to go to the bathroom for two to three minutes. - Ah! - Ah! - What's up? - Ah! - How's it going? - Ah! - Oh fuck me. - Ah! - Ah! - Ah! - I laughed. Really hard. - Yeah, that one got me. - All right, what's, what's up next on the magic list, do you like? - I know. Well, Richard, do you have any more stories? So you're back into the, the force. - Yeah. Oh man. - Not the fun force. Now it's like actually dumb stuff. You've filled on one story where, uh. - Oh, well, I have a story that I haven't told you yet. So. We have a, I don't know what you would call it. It's not a unit, but it's like a, an overtime deal where you drive around with like the FBI and you try to go to like gun gang areas and complaints where gun violence has occurred. And you do the jump out boy stuff, right? It's not a unit. It's just like an overtime detail. There you go. Detail is the term I'm looking for. So they would have detectives, myself included, uh, with federal agents attached to us in unmarked cars. We would drive around the city and we would jump out on guys. And sometimes we had CIs working with us simultaneously. Then they'd be like, Hey, these guys with guns are over here. He's wearing this and that. And then we would jump out, you know, get them, arrest them, get the firearm, you know, uh, off of these, you know, violent gang members, you know, people that have already been convicted of violent crimes in the past and are supposed to have firearms and, you know, cool beans. Right. And I haven't been on patrol in a long time and one of the, one of the great things about being on patrol is you, when you're constantly driving around for like a 10 hour shift, you get to see all the crazy that maybe you guys get to see like once every six months, like, Oh, I can't believe that guy caught off that girl and flipped her off and then did a U-turn and then wrecked his car. That was insane. And we're like, we see w we see like that like once a month, twice a week. It's incredible. Well, one of those moments happened to us. My buddy is driving. He's driving in our unmarked car. I'm in the front passenger and we're in a two lane or a four lane road. We're driving down the road and he kind of goes not into the, the right lane, but like, you know, it gets close to like that little dotted line, you know, and the guy that's driving up next to us, you know, beeps the horn. We're like, Oh my bad. Well, well, a bit of road rage happened. Wouldn't you know it we were slowing down because a red light's coming over and the car speeds up, cuts us off, almost causes us to hit them. And then it goes down a side road. Wrong answer. So we pull up and we've got the feds behind us in a minivan with fucking lights on it. So we pull up in front of them to box them in and break. And the fed car lights them up. And this dude's like, Oh shit. And I look in through the windows that are titted. I'm like, there's four young, four middle-aged men in it. Fucking game on like they're already driving like this. I already know they're assholes. Like the, the potential for criminal activity is high. You know what I mean? Like 25 to 30 year olds, there's four of them in one car and they're already cutting us off and being dickheads. Oh, very exciting. Red flags in a good way are going up. It Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college. That's why she shops at BJ's wholesale club, saving up to 25% off grocery store prices, beef jerky, microwave meals, laundry pods. Even they can't screw up. Have you met my kids? And with BJ's gas, she gets there for less. They call me the road warrior. This is your home. Road warrior mom, home of the save. Join for just $20 at bjs.com/mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months. Open soon. Limited time offer. New members only. BJ's home of the save. Jumps the curb and goes around us. We're like, Oh, it's going to be a car chasing on my car. I'm excited. I've got my hand on the door because originally when we pinned him in, I'm opening up the door to jump out. Because in the Northeast, if you get pulled over and you don't want to get pulled over, you try to do a car chase, everybody jumps out of the vehicle and runs. So you want to be out of the vehicle fast, grab the guy who was holding his waistband or whatever. He's got a backpack. So they go around us and I'm like screaming to my buddy, I'm like, Oh yeah, it's fucking on. We're going. They're going. 28:20 SJ: Dude, you do what you love for a job. You never work a day in your life. 28:22 CH: Never work a day in your life. So we end up getting around the car again because it like can't stop. It can't go forward and back. And there's dudes that are just like in the car, just like, "Oh, fuck." 'Cause now there's like three or four unmarked cars, some with lights, white boys jumping out in jeans. I had cut off jorts. I had jorts. I was wearing jorts and a bulletproof vest. 28:49 SJ: If you see jorts in a bulletproof vest jumping out on you with their gun drawn, you're like, "Oh, feds, we're fucked. Oh, shit." 29:00 CH: Are you allowed to bring your own personal plate carrier to work? 29:03 SJ: No, no. It's gotta be approved. 29:04 CH: Damn. I was gonna say, you need one of those denim plate carriers too. 29:07 SJ: I say we can't make it happen. You can ask. 29:09 CH: It's just gonna be approved. 29:10 SJ: The world's my oyster, buddy. 29:11 CH: Leave us. 29:12 SJ: So I'm in my jorts, open up the door, they go around us again, and we're like, "Oh yeah, it's fucking game on." 'Cause the feds will go. The feds will chase. They're like, "Well, we're the feds. We're not the city of Buffalo Police Department. If this person takes off, then we're gonna continue the chase." And then we had some troopers and other people in marked cars, and we had Air One flying above us too. 'Cause like I said, this was a big detail. It was all around the city. It wasn't just me. So we pin 'em in again. We get in front of 'em, we pin 'em in, the feds are on the side, like they're about to start rubbing and hitting 'em, and the other car's behind 'em. And I've got my door open, and I jump out with my gun drawn, jorts, police vest on, and I just see 'em like, "Oh, shit." They're all reaching around. The one guy, I see him go like this. And I'm like, "They're fuckin' eatin' it! They're fuckin' eatin' it! They're starin'! Their fuckin' trucks are hidin'! I'm screamin' out, like, "The guy in the back is shovin' shit in the thing! This guy's eatin' the fuckin' dope! He's eatin' the dope! Get your fuckin' hands up!" Everybody's fuckin' screamin' at 'em. We're yankin' 'em out of the cars. And this is the weird thing. No guns in the cars, which is based on all the shenanigans that were going on. We were almost certain there was gonna be guns in the cars, the way they were trying to shove stuff under the seats and hide stuff on us. But we did find, like, baggies where they had, like, took their dope, probably, maybe crack, probably coke, and just bit the corner of the sandwich bag off and just swallowed it. Which is what they'll do if they, you know, like, they got, like, less than an eight ball. I was gonna say, medically, that seems like a terrible idea. Oh, no. Shucks. Oh, no, they're going to OD. So you're saying the problem took care of itself? Street justice! I might have missed it. What was the footwear situation with the jorts and vest? Jump out boys. Those were the jump out boys. My man. Oh, my God. With the jorts, the tie-top shoes. And I had a jump out boy shirt on. The accidental sponsorship. I had my jump out boy shirt on. While being a jump out boy. Hell, yeah. Yeah. So meta. And we pull them all out. We're looking through the car. We see the bit off sandwich baggies. We know they swallowed their dope. There's a bunch of weed in there, but weed's legal. We just know that they're selling it, you know, without a license, which is, that's not really what this task force is about. So we're just like, whatever. Like, I don't know. I don't know. Do we take it and submit it, burn it, let them keep it? Now they're assholes. They don't get to keep anything. We'll take it and we'll just throw it away. You know, or submit it into evidence, whatever we did with it. I don't know. It wasn't my, wasn't my bag. It was marijuana. I don't know how that works. I snorted a line of marijuana or two in my life. Me and the boys are known to do the drugs. So we're cool. We're hip. We get in there. And the thing that was awesome that was very unique to this stop is we're going through the glove compartment. And there's an envelope in it. And in the envelope is like 30 checks. And we're like, who are these checks to? And there's like a whole bunch of checks. They're like checks from like somebody had the same last name as one of the detectives. We're like, are you related to this person? They're like, no. Normally, I am related to everybody with that last name. But that must be somebody that's like not from our side of town where my family grew up. There's 30 different checks with different people's names on it made out to different people to include Western Union checks. For like $300 or $400 or $500, right? We're like, these guys aren't supposed to have these checks. And you start going through like, all right, why would they have these checks? What are they doing with these checks? They're not labeled to anybody. What's going on? Every once in a while, this is what we think happened of how they got them. Every once in a while, a U.S. Postal Service member will have their box keys stolen for postal boxes, post boxes, right? And the mailboxes, I mean. So what people do is they'll go in it. They'll steal stuff that they think have checks in them. That's like a big offense. Oh, yeah. That's a big offense. So they'll go in. It's like federal. Like mail tampering. Yes, it's federal. That's a felony. Fuck you in the ass prison. Like, mail laws are kind of crazy with what they could do to you. Female laws are even worse. Because like back in the day, the mail was like, if you put the mail, you could. I think death penalty was on the table for a while. This is like back in the day before phones and telegrams and all that shit. Like mail was extremely important. So like those laws haven't all been like updated. So like they can fucking cook your ass over with the mail if they really want to. Go to jail. I don't think you can deliver a Cole's catalog nowadays and get drawn in court. Legit. Oh, I believe it. I knew somebody that I went to school with at one point that was a mail carrier that had like the what like the Cole's catalogs, like the coupon books for the local grocery stores and shit. Yeah. And he was like on overtime because he was the new guy and just didn't want to do his route and threw that shit in the trash can. Oh, and like he got fired, but he got fired and was also informed like we could send you to prison for this for like not delivering. Yeah. And coupon books. They paid to have them mailed. Oh, yeah. Oh, so mail theft five years in federal prison with fines up to two hundred and fifty thousand good mailbox vandalism up to three years in federal prison with fines up to two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. So if you were ever a kid that was bashing mailboxes, maybe Google that statute of limitations before you tell that story. Mail fraud up to 20 years in federal prison with two hundred fifty thousand. What would mail fraud be considered? That's when you. You meet somebody at a bar and you pretend to be a pretty girl. Hey, I think it might be with probably like voting. I wouldn't because they're saying presidential 1792 Congress passed a law stating that anyone who robbed a U.S. mail carrier stole mail or stole a letter or packet from the mail or the post office could, upon conviction, suffer death. Holy shit. They were not around with the mail back in the day. Dude, putting unpaid flyers in is five thousand to ten. Thousand dollars. Dude, the Chinese restaurant down the street from my house is fucked for more than one reason. Well, that's why that's also why. Is that the one next to the vet? Oh, no. That's why, like FedEx and UPS aren't allowed to put your packages or mail in your mailbox. It's federal law. Only U.S. Postal Service can put mail in your mailbox. Is that why they have to, like, hang him, like, in the door and shit like that? Yeah, they have to put them on your porch. They're not allowed to put stuff in the mailbox. It's interesting. Illegal as shit. I did not know that. Fun. Additional information about this. So we look at it. We assume that that's how they're getting it. They're definitely going through the mail. We determine they're going to be check washing, right? So check washing, for those of you who don't know, is Brandon writes a check to Connor and it's for $50. I steal that check somehow and I'm able to wash it so then who it's made out to, Connor and the amount. Gone. And I fill in that blank. So now, instead of Connor getting the $60, I cash it to myself and I get $1,000. You literally wash the checks in acetone, by the way, because it makes the non-printed ink dissolve, like the pen ink. How to make felonies occur. Yeah. And then no paper trail once you cash it in your name. Don't do it. Well, I mean, it's like, I mean, shit like Catch Me If You Can, like, different things like that. They were showing. Definitely true story of the con man who wrote his own biography. That's the coolest guy ever. That's my favorite part of it is that later on they figured out that half the conning was still a con because like, they were like, wait a minute, hold on with your story. Like you were in jail during those time periods where you claim this happened. How the fuck is that? Oh, yeah. All right. They caught me. Again. The additional fun piece of information is that one of the checks for like four or $500 was made to the NAACP. The four gentlemen in the car were African American. So they're stealing from the NAACP, which if I'm not mistaken, is for the advancement of colored people. Colored people. I believe. I mean, they're just skipping. That's a national association. Correct. They're just skipping the middle man. I guess. Direct to consumer. There we go. So yeah, that was funny. We're just like, oh my God, there's checks to the NAACP. There's checks to black churches in here. They're stealing their own shit. So yeah, that was a, that was the funny moment. That's a way. This is like one week after getting back into your groove or whatever you do now. You know, it's time flies and you're having fun. I don't even know. Football is back and PrizePix is bringing back their best offer yet. New users who sign up will get $150 in their lineups if you win your first $5 lineup. I don't know what that means. And now PrizePix is available nationwide. No more restrictions. Because everyone and everything is on PrizePix. Darnell, get over here. You're going to be part of this ad. He likes football. And Sunday's a great day to bet on that. Who are you betting on this weekend? If you want to say he's actually really good at the football knowledge. So what would you. I mean, the easy one, Jameer Gibbs rushing touchdown. Can't miss with that. Take a look at his yards. Do the over. And you have an exciting game with Josh Allen and the Bills against the Texans. Should be a close one. They also got DJ Moore out there. So take a look and maybe take a look at his reception yards. Other than that, it's going to be Nico Collins game. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm looking at at least five catches. Yeah. Me too. I'm sure that made perfect sense to you. PrizePix invented the injury reboot. What's that mean? You saw this last Wednesday. Seahawks Patriots kick off to start the season. And before the first drive is over. Sam Darnold. Boom. Out for the whole game. Out for a couple games. Your parlay's dead. You're losing money. But with PrizePix. You would have had the player injury guarantee. You would have been in the game. That would have protected you. Because he didn't finish the first half. That would have saved you money on A.J. Brown. And Sam Darnold. Meaning. That money lost. We money had. PrizePix. Also has an improved search functionality. And live box scores. To track your picks. Without leaving the app. The PrizePix app is better than ever. Download the app today. And use code. Unsubbed. To get $150. Instantly. In lineups. So you don't have to worry. About the app. Because it's free. Because it's free. In lineups. If you win. Your first $5. Lineup. PrizePix. Run the game. Mr. Conner. What have you been working on dog? I don't even know what videos. You've been brewing up. He did a video. About Katie. No. I'm about to do one of those. Actually. Oh. I'm going to be doing a. It's probably. It might have come out already. By now. The. I'm going to do two videos. I'm going to try it. Anyway. Because remember. I did that video. The truth about Tony Gonzalez. I'm doing a video. The truth about Katie Stout. And I'm doing one. About that. Well. My own video. I'm just going to be responding. To my own attacks. Like the things. That people have said about me. I'm like. All right. Cool. I'll talk about. Literally. Every single one of them. Let's fucking go. I just read that article. About you yesterday. And I learned. So many things. About. One of my best friends. It's crazy. I didn't know. Half of the information. We were tighter. After that. Like. Somebody's. Belt. You are tighter. Like. because the other side pretends not to know what time it is. They pretend to not know the difference between satire and reality, between jokes and policy. It's like, all right, really, that's how we're going to play? Okay, cool. Anyway, back to your hog video. Invasive species running for District 23. Well, I was just going to let the comments take care of that one. Yeah, I talked about, I don't know, for some reason in my channel, I used to talk about conspiracy theory, but there's been a pivot where now it's just whatever I'm thinking about that week. I enjoy it. Thank you. So last week it was wild hogs because I went on that pig hunt with, would you say Chris was on yesterday's episode? Or he was in the background? He was in the background. Okay, a friend of ours, Chris, I think it's his cousin, invited me, Cody, and Cody's son, John, out to go hog hunting. So we ripped it through the woods, or fields rather, blasting hogs, had the fucking time of my life. Loved shooting a pig. And I was like, man, I know pigs or wild hogs are a really big problem in Texas specifically. Never really heard about them back when I lived in Indiana. And so I was looking into it, and in the past year alone, it has exploded. They've moved into, it used to be like six or seven states up until a couple years ago, and now they've been. spotted or reported um in 37 states in total so pretty much the entire southern two-thirds of the country and um well it was like when uh excuse me brandon and his shop guys go on a little retreat to a lake really close to my hometown so he invited me to go hang out with his um you know shop guys at the lake again an hour away from where i grew up and we went to the bar that i've been going to since i was 17 21 and the bartender everybody there knows me and the bartender immediately was like oh you live in texas you've hunted hogs by helicopter like that's all we know it's like you know that's that's the texas thing you shoot pigs from a helicopter we do do that from time to time which is cool as shit but that's like the extent of the knowledge even though pigs have now been spotted like i said in like those 30 years of my life 37 states iowa indiana iowa's out of it indiana's in it um and it is getting so explosively worse the growth rate in order to sustain it there's like a golden number that's been shared around that you have to kill up to 70 of the current population of hogs to maintain that's so that that's like their reproduction rate so to keep the number a million six hundred thousand like kill or okay it's like seven yeah kill seven hundred thousand it was ge seven hundred thousand it was ge seven hundred thousand it was ge man a million kill seven hundred thousand and they will be back to a million in the next breeding cycle correct the craziest part about the pigs for me is that just like normal domesticated farm pigs will turn into wild boars after like a couple months shockingly craziest like i had no i i found this out like this year but you brought it up in your video again like i had no idea that that was the same animal and it's just like oh there's no fence i'm gonna grow a bunch of hair and tusks and be an asshole yeah we'll just go feral it's crazy they go feral they yeah they'd become almost immediately undomesticated they grow a thicker coat they can survive anywhere you've all seen i brought up pictures in the video sounds like italian women in the winter i take that back uh but you've seen pigs on on a beach he's very strong you said it you're like never mind that's rude i was gonna make a wife i was like uh yeah taylor in march just looks like a grumman oh i'm gonna make a wife i was like yeah taylor in march just looks like a grumman oh i'm gonna make a wife i was like yeah taylor in march just looks like a grumman i'm gonna make a wife i was like yeah taylor in march just looks like a grumman oh i'm gonna make a wife it's because she's italian i didn't mean it like that italian yeah your wife is a wonderful beautiful woman yeah but she's not a real person because she's italian you know they can't vote they can't own property you stopped that shit in world war ii you saw what they did in new york where was i at oh yeah they can live on a beach they can live like as far north as it possibly goes all right we're still like on italians right i was gonna circle back because christopher columbus brought him over dago damn it they're not smart people but they know how to cook a noodle brought him over they let him free range and it was like their mobile food source they showed up and they're like we're traveling halfway across the country it was a de soto was also like one of the first guys who brought a bunch of them over and just they released him and like next time we're in the neighborhood we'll kill him immediately took over the fucking country and so i think a lot of people think like in the same tier as like deer or raccoons like that's just a thing that's always been here no we fucking brought him here and they shit up i can't remember the number i think i brought it up the amount of um endemic species in the u.s that they've like directly led to the extinction of but it's like a decently high number and the amount of damage again it's like if you don't if you aren't around them or see what they do you're like oh they're like what what can they do it is insane like in a night they will it's like a bulldozer rolled through a field they fuck up farmland tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college that's why she shops at bj's wholesale club saving up to 25 off grocery store prices beef jerky microwave meals laundry pods even they can't screw up have you met my kids and with bj's gas she gets there for less they call me the road warrior this is your home road warrior mom home of the save join for just 20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj bj's home of the save all sorts of shit uh but also uh they'll they'll go after because they'll they'll kill for fun they'll kill for territory they'll go after like domesticated animals they'll gore your dog in your backyard dogs they killed a woman in dallas just in like a residential neighborhood what's she trying to do pet him no no no she was like on her way to her mailbox they're aggressive they run like they will sprint at you yeah i wouldn't want to the wild pig and they take shots how many shots that's what's really surprising the big boars when you're hunting them me and frasier we were in a helicopter i was like i was like my gun's not zeroed i aim up round behind it i was like oh my god shot it like 10 times it finally fell down i had to just shoot way higher i was like okay this is just headshots otherwise that plate for the shoulder just they're absorbs i said yeah we had one uh when we were hunting them that it was it was still kicking it was brain dead but it was still physically alive and i had a i think a seven inch knife with me and it wasn't deep enough to hit me but it was still alive and i had a i think a seven inch knife with me and it wasn't deep enough to stab its heart yeah like they're big animals which kind of is another problem i forgot to bring up in the video is a lot of people are trophy hunting for them so they'll only hunt for like the biggest like the hogzilla big males which the way that they work is kind of similar to like elk i think you described so there will be a group of females and they're they're all related they're all cousins they're all inbreeding all that shit but there will be like it's called a sounder and then the joke i made in the video is you know because like sounding but it'll be a group of females think we all nod in agreement again you know you know it's a good joke when nobody laughs uh did you turn this back around on me well let's i'm in the middle of something hey don't talk to me like that sweetie it's like a group of 12 females but if you kill like the alpha male or whatever they're the one that's breeding so if you kill fucking boss hog now there are two communities that are competitive males that were underneath him in all likelihood his sons that are just going to split off and now you've doubled the population of hogs because now you have two breeding males there was one who was you know on big dick you've killed him and now they've split off so you've accidentally doubled the population so we're going to kill the women we have to kill all of them every one of them like literally every pig in a no matter the species oh pigs is there like they are getting big the the biggest like pigzilla the sheer size of that fucking thing is terrifying i've heard like 400 pounders oh they're like 800 oh really yeah damn i think that's the biggest one ever was in that little kid got it yep monster pig which they they brought in uh this was in like the late 1800s for sport hunting they brought in because the originally the feral hog population was just it was domesticated pigs that went loose and their their coats grew thicker they brought in the uh your eurasian boar or the russian boar it's a wild pig from europe that was like a sport hunting boar um brought them over and they're the same species so they interbreed and that's what they turn into so it's the domesticated pig that we bred for thousands of years to get as big and fat as as possible and then this aggressive feral boar and so they're fucking and they get the worst of both characteristics just a massive thing and you there are one animal people at first when you go oh we're killing him it's like oh what do you do with the meat it's like no you don't want to eat it yeah you don't want to eat it and you leave it and then they're going to eat it and clean it up themselves that's one of the things like you you could eat it if you wanted to but the wild ones specifically you really don't want like they're they're diseased um they're eating meat doesn't taste very good that's because they're eating trash garbage they eat meat and then the meat tastes for uh different areas for act or deer access whatever it is they're eating meat they're eating meat they're eating meat they're eating meat they taste better in certain spots because oh you get a deer that's been eaten at an apple orchard pigs trash guess what that does not taste good yeah and then they have so many like parasites and they really aren't that fatty so like domesticated pigs have a shitload of fat that's bacon like that's what we all love it's like oh and i got that comment a thousand times which i kind of talked about it in the comments but um they're like a really lean animal so they have disgusting greasy gamey meat that's full of parasites and it's really lean they're like giant squirrels basically if you got one that's like high fenced like a high fenced hog or something like that that you know you've seen its food supply you know it those you can turn into like breakfast sausage and all sorts of stuff like that but really if you shoot a pig that you don't know where the came from you do not want to eat that man it's like you can but probably not and then that speaks to like the parasite thing um yeah like screw worm they're carrying all that they carry um those the ticks that make you gay uh lone star ticks yeah um and then the ones that turn you into james talarico allergic to meat yeah he's a vegan uh he's he's done like he's come out against meat and shit like that before and now like he's time he comes out in a different way it's so funny because he's he does those campaign pictures now where he's just and like just the mcdonald's burger bite oh wow isn't this such good barbecue here in texas and you're just like come on dude come on now all of his ads now he's getting out of a big pickup truck because i'm a man it's like i have never seen someone try to look like the average dude so hard before do you remember the um ad campaign where it's like i'm a man and it was like with the dudes for kamala dude yeah yeah and it was like the big fat guy with the tiny cowboy hat like a joke he's like and i don't know and you're like dude you're you look like a joke you you look like a like a gosh dang clown this massive mound of a floppy dude just just fat looks like baby huey and he doesn't even have the right sized hat on it's just got like some tiny hat what am i saying am i saying it just your buffalo accent yeah i said he said fat fat yeah i do yeah it does yeah and then he had tim walls doing maintenance on his change the air filter scout and he's yeah he's just changing the air filters like i know how to work on my trucks like bro it's a wing nut what are we talking about he is a wing nut you It's one wingnut lift replaced i'm man it reminds me of the uh what is that hot rod you know the movie hot rod i like the party yeah or when he's trying to impress the girl who's walking up he's in his garage and he panics and grabs a hammer and he's just hitting the engine block with a hammer when she walks up he's like oh sorry i didn't even notice you there that dude i feel like you're right it's that first guy dude just the tiniest hat that does not fit him and then the hard cut to this guy there's like a dude on the back yes truck yeah the that guy that's the guy i'm a man huh i wear i drive i drive the truck it's lifted he had hi carburetors for breakfast i ain't afraid of bears that's what bear hearts i am afraid of bears yeah he's getting hit up by bears on grinder you put a man in the woods you're a big scared of bears i'm afraid of bears yeah he's getting hit up by bears on grinders you put a man in the woods or a big skunk you put a man in the woods or a big scary bear i'm gonna go for the fear are you alone in the woods with two hot hairy bears i eat carburetors for breakfast what the fuck does that even mean i have never heard a man say a sentence even remotely close to that it was uh i guess it was like a writer for jimmy kimmel or something like made that i will bet a million dollars cash that dude doesn't know what a carburetor is he probably doesn't even know that most cars don't have them anymore right yeah that's right that's what i'm saying yeah i don't think they say full-throated endorsement on them yeah full deep-throated endorsement full throat i'm starting to think this is just like it this is it's different around right who paid for this i'm not afraid of women i'm not afraid of women same you're clearly not a child you haven't been around us the workout bands if you think of them as vases we just got an awe from the audience they want to be childless cat ladies have all the cats you want woman wants to be president well i hope she has the guts to look i can't get over him sitting like that endorsement my full-throated endorsement i'm doing this ad real just to pause wait i'm doing this is an ad but i gotta show you something really cool this is the uh their next gen ultra gen six lawnmower you you can order new blades off of this and it tells you when you need to replace it this is crazy so today's episode is in partnership with manscape the men's grooming brand serving over 14 million men worldwide but as i was saying manscape just dropped their new their new trimmer called the lawnmower ultra gen six i've never seen such a high-tech trimmer i didn't even know that they were going to be made and i didn't even know this was a possibility manscape is killing it oh and you can turn the light on and off what seriously we all use the lawnmower anyways but they just made it better now it comes with two interchangeable blade heads and yes they have this skin safe technology with those but they have a new floating head design my peeps you know free floating you know what that means it pivot and contours with the body they do make these better each and every iteration it is awesome and then the battery has a hundred minute run time you can lock it so uh no embarrassing things can happen in the airport also it is waterproof use it in the shower so you don't have a mess head over to manscape.com and use code unsub to get 15 off plus free shipping at checkout that's 15 off plus free shipping at manscape.com using code unsub or if you need it today just head over on the best buy and if they ask you how you heard of them tell them unsub since they're regards all right i'm dead serious can i see that like as far as i want to know the page for this i have to know because there is no chance fine but you have to say it into the mic yeah i will you have to say it i think this is actually parody i'm looking at this at the very bottom it says not authorized by any candidate or candidates committee this is clear this is parrot you don't remember when that came out that was i remember it but no it was the director was like a director for like jimmy kimmel or was some sort of left-leaning late night show it was like it got played i swear it was like a it was real and it got ripped it got ripped i mean i'm not gonna lie if it's a sign up as like a republican most effective ever it's it's it got me i mean it got me yeah no i'm looking at this the the guys i i would put money on this not being real there's no way hold on we got an ai ai who made that video so maris waltz ad my phone's over there produced independently by the grassroots group creatives for harris and director jacob reed not the official campaign uh jacob reed though i believe that that has to be somewhat tongue in cheek like parody well there's something in their cheek yeah it's and it's not a tongue oh uh didn't the nick shirley law get passed in california it actually made it yeah i think it got passed like it now has to get struck down by like the federal court system and exposing fraud is wrong yeah yes are you gonna i guess you don't want to have government officials held in check with your money no we need officials to do it so officials can prove that the city they work for did no wrong correct how's that rich um oh if only i had a prime example of why that might not work out so well i if only we had a real expert here that had first-hand experience of why that's a horrible idea there's a story shmuffalo shmuffalo i forget it's the boober bike birders how did that pass sorry i have an important question for brandon oh what's your first tweet gonna be after you get elected i don't want the thank you tweet i want something incredibly funny at this time next year the president of the united states of america will be sleeping with bill clinton or whatever she said dude i remember that was so fucking funny and i saw the uh the the memes afterward because you you saw that right no what were we talking about camilla tweeted no no no no no hillary clinton no it was common carl harris tweeted it yeah she said at this point uh my husband will be uh next year my husband will be sleeping with the president of the united states and it was after trump won it was just a meme of like trump putting on lipstick with him entering the room times come oh you uh but i i have an idea for what tweet i'm going to make but i'm not going to i'm not going to spill it i know exactly what it's going to be and i'm going to have to take a picture in advance is it going to be very funny it's going to be fucking hysterical that's all i want i'm not going to spoil the surprise but it's going to be great oh he's told me and it's going to be good i got one thing okay finn come here real quick oh no i well then do you have your relic yeah come sit down because you have your rock what did finn look lose real quick no i actually took it out so i didn't want to lose it now wait go on what are we doing this is a really good just oh they know the story yeah they've been informed oh they were informed yeah oh lose this i i swear it was oh wait start from start from square zero what is this we were in a okay i'm gonna do a terrible job like he did can you at least give them i'll help you you try so we were in we were we were in pittsburgh and we weren't able to go to the place we were supposed to go to by no fault of my own i reached out two months in advance but anyway so we ended up in such cases in a in a way that we were not able to go to any of the places we were supposed to go to in any of the places we were supposed to go to in any of the places we were supposed to go to in any of the pushed in, it was in the crown of thorns, right? - Yes. - So it was a piece of that actual thorn that touched the relic that we were given. And then I set it down to finish the episode and then i put it on the pew so i knew exactly where it was and then it wasn't there when i went back for it in front of the statue of like the saint of lost objects or items or something you're in the cathedral of saint anthony yes patron saint of lost things i swear he did it as a prank or something like i dude i don't know where it went because i know exactly where i was and where i said it and he's like this would be so funny but anyway so the father was like look i'm not saying you're going to hell but did he actually say yes he's like i can't really help you if you do so but he did give me another one and i know where that one is so it ended up okay i think i told you most people don't get a do-over on a relic i know but he gave me another one he had like a little stack i like it happened right in front of him yeah oh i just pictured and there was this sweet woman there too that was telling us the history so it was just like a whole crowd of people that at least this guy is that's not a good sign what'd you say when you recognize because i know it had that finn like look around you like i was like guys i don't know where it went yeah yes but um so i'm a little worried about that whenever i do pass i'll have to have a little talk with him on that i think it's best to have the talk before you're right yeah yeah yeah interrogatory typically ben waiting in line there's a cardboard box this is lost and found i've heard a lot of stories from finn and of all things i don't i think you lose it lose it all right well thank you for having me i gotta use the bathroom where you can famously take things with you there the egyptians thought that that was a knowledgeable i love that finn was the one that did that that was a good story to learn about last night back to where we started rewind in 55 minutes well with your uh with your videos now you're doing the pigs do you have any um uh kind of conspiracy stuff in the works or you haven't done really well that's kind of what i was getting at like at the very beginning this is like to revert back to 35 minutes ago the yeah um like it all started with the the conspiracy stuff because i was super into that a lot of those things the problem that i've run into is everything a is inconclusive and b everybody kind of people who are into conspiracy theories are kind of like you know they're kind of like you know they're kind of people who are into conspiracy theories are kind of like you know they're kind of like you know they're kind of like they they have their toxic and don't care about facts or common sense because a lot of those videos i was running into that problem where it's like i've looked into it extensively and it's like this is probably the case and everybody has their mind made up in certain regards so i've switched over to a lot of those things where it's like why is it this way you know like how bad is the the problem with these wild pigs like the next one which this probably won't come out for a long time so my video will be out by then but about like microplastics three to five oh yeah you got time you can talk i got tons of time it's yeah it'll be out next week but um the yeah just like we've all heard you know the statistics about you know you like the one that was going around it's like you have a you know plastic spoons worth of microplastics in your brain which is not true or yeah it's in your balls which is literally like the opening joke that i make in the video like about microplastics being in your balls that one the problem i run into there you know like in regards to the the hog the hog situation is crazy um there's kind of a solution that we've been working towards the microplastics are really like piss in the pool everything you're drinking out of a plastic bottle that was made two weeks ago well yeah i mean the the um study that i saw on it basically they tried to do a study on microplastics and they couldn't do it because they couldn't get a control because they couldn't create an environment that didn't have microplastics in it because they're already fucking everywhere they have taken core samples in antarctica and it's they're immediately contaminated they're everywhere well just i think it was last week i can't remember specifically um they're called um fuck i can't remember the word off the top of my head it's a dumb word it's like nubbles or something like that um naturals nubbles no it's some bullshit ass word like you're right there but um what are we talking about plastic oh yeah um they're the these little like pebbles that plastics manufacturers melt down uh when they oh i know i know what you're talking about yeah i just told you like prills or something no it's like nubbles or it doesn't matter nodules nah it's a dumb word but um nurdles nurdles final nerd nurdles n-u-r-d-l-e-s nurdles they they melt them down into like finalized plastics products well i think the last week where if a company spills them they have to report them to the epa because i think it was in new jersey a truck crashed and spilled like four tons of these tiny plastic beads into a fucking river and it was just like oh flip the truck back up on its wheels and drive away like it is what it is damn we lost that load like with no concern whatsoever from like the epa's perspective or environmentally the fact that we've dumped literal tons of plastic into our water supply because that item wasn't considered like a contaminant in the same way that toxic waste or oil or something like that would be so they just changed that i think last week this is actually really bad like way worse than we are actually out of control yeah and it's going to be a really long time before we recover the three the three spider-man meme of my grandpa full of lead my dad full of asbestos and me full of microplastics i've made the analogy multiple times in my videos it's like i plastics are going to be the thing we get made fun of 200 years from now yeah how they'd be like oh the romans drank from lead cups it's like they're gonna oh we have this carcinogenic compound that we use in everything we are currently surrounded by this material it's inside your sweet testicles right this thing made from benzene famously non-carcinogenic yeah 200 years from now they're gonna be like what fucking retards we are i mean leaded gasoline that's why we had violence so high in the 70s and 80s and once they made unleaded they're like made a video about that yeah a lot of people don't realize that's why people were violent because all the lead in the gasoline it was just air it was air it was correlated to a spike in violence yeah the the golden age of serial killers were all born uh and grew up during their their blood lead content was like a hundred times what it should be and like lead toxicity in your blood makes you like more violent more sexually aggressive it literally makes you dumber so if you look at the graph of um like iq over time uh it's constantly steadily been increasing and then it was like the introduction of tri tri ethyl lead in a gas it was an anti-knocking compound the iq goes boop and then when we took it back out it goes back up and everything spiked you like violent crime everything because there's one man it's like they consider him like the human history it was uh tri ethyl lead in gasoline i can't remember his name off the top of my head um freon freon not freon um but uh uh chlorofluorocarbons that's the precursor to or what was it freon was one of them but um yeah that's the one that burned the hole in the ozone layer and then he did a third thing that i can't remember off the top of my head but he like he everything he did was well intended but he did a third thing that i can't remember off the top of my head but he did not look at like the thomas migley midgley jr yeah he created all oh i didn't know that so he poisoned everybody with lead it's in our water supply it's in our air uh it's the other one a pesticide did he do ddt i don't remember i don't know he like if all of my knowledge of this is based on watching your video once so thanks dad but if you if you take like a step back and look at his life and if he if you framed him as like a bond villain you'd be like this is the most evil man who's ever lived he was very well intended but yeah he fucked our environment the road to heaven famously paved with good intentions or as i say it in the video the the road to heaven etc etc oh do you really make that joke no i didn't realize that was the spike in serial killers during that time i do know that was when it was just becoming a thing it's like oh hey we're actually naming this not what were they called beforehand before they were called serial killers oh it was uh spree killers or no yeah that's a different thing well because it wasn't it wasn't that the spike happened at the same time it was on a 20 year delay so you pump lead into the bloodstream of a child because they were all born in the early 50s and then they're all in their mid-20s in the 70s and that's when all that shit happened it was uh like summer of sam it was um a lot literally all in even in california like gold state killer golden state killer yeah the uh night stalker dommer um bundy yeah john wayne gacy gacy was a little bit older but it was the same time frame which the the alternative theory not that i'm fucking i'm sorry i love this the alternative theory that i've just heard recently that because i made that video a year ago is that um instead of it being in like started by a spike in you know violence because of the lead the alternative theory is that forensics finally caught up and so that had always been the case there were always guys who were gonna you know pick up prostitutes drive them out in the woods and kill them for decades and decades and decades well then in this 70s forensic technology finally caught up with like fingerprinting dna wasn't a thing yet but they were still saving like things that had dna on it for the future yeah they started categorizing that information so like forensics finally caught up and so they started catching people and then when they started catching people people started either getting more careful or they like were incentivized to not commit crime as much are you implying that being held accountable for your actions de-incentivizes crime it's a theory many have is that what you're implying right now how dare you i need to see the science on this before i'm how dare you i'd like to see the statistics on yeah whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa statistics cool and cool and buddy brandon what you're all vibes based here what's next what's your next videos you were working on because darwin just came out darwin just came out today we've got a few i've got the uh the mandalorian pistol we've been filming that video i actually did full larp for that one did you in the heat that was the fucking problem i was in the full mandalorian get up because i thought it would be cool and i you know honestly just i'm a total fucking star wars nerd i thought it was neat it was cool to do for sake um we did it at ox ranch in uvalde texas in the desert about 105 degrees and about half an hour in i'm in like three layers of like wool and bullshit and armor and like a helmet i just i took it off i'm like i get me the we had what we needed for the day but get me the fuck out of this thing because i i'm gonna have a heat stroke i poured cold water over my face when when i was done like halfway out of the armor and shit opened my eyes and i was blind like not because there was water in my eyes like i was just seeing like the stars that i'm about to pass out yeah like oh we were right there but it's fun this is good dude hopefully it does well how many how many jokes did you make in this video about your opponent zero why i'm not finished filming it uh no but i yeah it should be fun because it's it's a very very little known weapon system it was a bergman model 1896 it was one of the very first semi-automatic pistols period i think it's actually i forget the story off the top of my head i need to do more research but i think it directly correlated with the uh the inception or the the uh the invention of the broom handle mauser like they were about right at the same year i think the the bergman came first and i think the mauser came second but i'll have to look into that don't quote me but they're very similar actions and stuff like that but it's the pistol that in the mandalorian the tv show the movie whatever like that's his that one's actually we talked about it i think with ian from forgotten weapons but um the one that they use in the movie is like a like a prototype only like a couple were ever made so whoever their armorer is for that is incredibly autistic i didn't know that and then did it have any of the because it has attachments doesn't it or is it just a pistol uh they've got a couple like little things like the little like trumpet muzzle brake or whatever on the front that star wars it up a little bit but it already it already looks pretty sci-fi uh the crazy part was this is where and we're gonna have a pepper box like uh boys in the garage episode on it because my boys in the garage you know zach and the boys had to recreate the ammo for this thing because ammo has been extinct since like the 1930s we were able to buy like one round that probably didn't fucking work to try to use as a model to base it off of they had to machine the brass and the primer pockets and cast the bullets and figure out the powder load like we had to retroactively invent ammunition for this gun using chamber castings to figure out what size we needed everything to be like the boys did an amazing job they they brought a caliber that's been dead for for almost a hundred years back to life no shit do the rocket bullets next we have those no but make them he shot the whole barrel out of that gun yeah that's right that did i have the gyrojet rifle though that that's one thing i do want to go back out there for because i think there's even less footage of that we have the best slow-mo like high speed thanks to ballistic high speed the best footage of a gyrojet ever firing like preserved for for you know historic sake now we're gonna do the gyrojet rifle that's gonna be that's gonna be neat what's that look like it looks like a fucking mattel toy it look up the gyrojet rifle it's so weird editor put it put that shit up it's basically a gyrojet pistol it's crammed into like a shitty carbine stock with a loudner at the end it's i mean you you do this more than i do obviously but like it is cool when you film something like that in high speed and you're like oh this is actually like historically relevant like a source now for this because i i had the same thing happen with me and pew view when we recreated the carlos hathcock scope shot yeah and it's it's now like cited on carlos hathcock's wikipedia page as evidence of like because he has like controversies where like people cast out on a lot of the stuff and it's like cited as this has been proven possible by since the couldn't do it yeah so the uh well guys like you and i that are just obsessed with history sometimes forget that we're living in it and like some of that stuff the way it's recorded recorded like we can influence is it in the microplastics it's in your history's in my balls when you said that i'm glad we'll be in the same frame because you said some gay shit and i immediately looked at rich and he did some bullshit we're living in history why why don't i even talk i told you it's bully brandon day you're evicted i didn't give consent for your history to be inside me get your history out of me got your history so big empty my empty the history out of my balls let the history out evacuate my balls of your history right now you just you just gave me a perfect joke for my microplastics in your balls thing because it's like how much protein is in like a cum shot i need to figure out the dosage of microplastics that are in one too there you go you got to get them out you got to get the microplastics out of your balls cut your balls off we had a guy do that one i don't hate plastics that much pcp you remember yeah that's the the gyrojet rifle why the is the optic that far i've never seen one with an optic before actually that's on all the blueprints too that handle this was the moon gun right yeah that was basically the one where the um the company essentially they they were answering a contract the contract was it was like during vietnam the government was like yeah we want a laser pistol or some shit like that and all companies were basically like i don't know what the you're talking about and i don't know how to you want to what you've been watching too much tv and then contracts are like the bat signal for autism i swear well they really are what do you want laser pistols laser pistols in a mail truck nba industries guys are gonna make that happen well they fucking didn't we still haven't but nba industries came forward with this with the rocket gun and they were just like um you said laser pistols we're laughing at several things at the same time i immediately i immediately imagined the guy with like six car batteries on a backpack that it was like to charge a laser pistol for real i knew where connor was going yeah i know i know where connor's going with it too and then i looked at connor and i thought of the second thing and that is a very educational film but anyway nba industries uh basically came forward they're like well we don't have a laser pistol but we do for a reason and they're like well we don't have a laser pistol but we do for a reason and have this and the government was like well that is nowhere near what we fucking asked for we'll take a thousand of them to try out and so there's actually i think i may have mentioned this on the podcast before but there was a medal of honor recipient from vietnam that has a picture in theater with his gyrojet pistol so there is potentially room for debate that during the actions of which he was awarded his medal of honor uh that that got him the medal of honor he might have been carrying and potentially using a gyrojet pistol just the concept of it's like how do we make ammo really difficult and expensive every shot is a jet 60 percent more bullet per bullet wood furniture on your moon rifle is drippy as fuck though i just don't understand like again the optic because those bullets everything happens right by the face then right kind of it is just a piss it's a pistol with a 16 inch barrel you know what it looks like it looks like it looks like a high point rifle it really does it looks like a shitty high point carbine there's no way i was one of those weapons it's like your 50 cal the shoulder one that just is oh the m82a2 that's awesome but it's terrifying with the the action by your head i'm just like what the fuck isn't it it's in metal gear 4 right yeah oh yeah yeah literally and that one just came out no they just uh they they ported it ported it finally after how many years ago i don't know we just talked about that it was like 15 yeah 15 16 oh no since five came out five came out in 2015 dude the the grant that thought of the thing going on right now is hilarious the leaks yeah i haven't been keeping up with that do you know like the general gist i i know that uh rockstar is getting super pissed because there's there's some sort of leaker that's putting out all the gameplay footage he's he's leaking stuff but he also has come out and said like they they want to get him and stop him and arrest him but he's come out and said i have the entire game on a dead man's switch prologue that i have to enter a password in every day at a particular time so if i get arrested and i cannot enter the password it will upload the entire thing to the internet so they're like well now what do we do this is like a so much less serious edward snowden i know why was he doing this is just because like microtransactions or what i have no idea oh gotcha so he's he was like acting like it was for like a righteous cause but he was lowkey like this lindsay is pushing his crypto and insulted oh also something nobody's talking about is he sucks at playing video games he plays grand theft auto like my 66 year old father would oh no he's polite to the hookers yeah he really just like if i tip them they'll like it just punch people in the head steal cars fucking grand theft auto you dumb bitch right like the gunplay everybody's like the gunplay is so shitty in this game like i think it's just the guy playing it yeah well they did that uh what was it called like a deeper look into or whatever that was released on netflix this is a few days ago this will be totally irrelevant by the time this episode comes out but they released a rockstar released a um like 25 minute long thing on netflix it's like a deeper look or something like that gta6 and it's just like their gameplay footage and people are saying it's in response to the leaks but the same thing like they're trying to make it all cinematic so like when their characters are like walking down the street they're walking at like the slowest pace and they'll be like talking to other characters they're trying to make it super cinematic like it's a movie i got bored in like three minutes and stopped because i was talking to brandon it's like every time i would play a video game like that if you get trapped in one of those cut scenes where it's like we're walking into the drug house we gotta hear you know little d talk about how rough this neighborhood is it's like i'll be running in circles in the background i'm like get this dialogue equal and opposite of that uh you have battlefield six which their trailer wasn't just like let's do a cinematic like saving private ryan-esque you know black hawk down they they literally put the eject from the fighter jet to use an rpg to blow up the jet behind you oh the coolest thing anybody did on that yeah i i got so mad at microtransactions the other day because i realized it robbed my children of one of the coolest things of my childhood oh which is cheat code books oh they're never going to have that again because now it's all microtransactions like back when i was a kid at the book fair you could buy they had like two or three cheat code books with i was never allowed to get them a hundred games yeah but you go there and look at them and write them down yeah exactly you know what i mean so and then you could just oh pause select ups up down left right triangle square circle upside blah blah blah type it in and just spawn a helicopter or a million dollars that's what i'm saying i would get unlimited ammo unlimited guns i have the the gta vice city unlimited ammo cheat code is like muscle memory yeah it's all gone now because of microtransactions shame damn shame well on that note we'll move to the after show Brandon closes out You beautiful son of a bitch Fantastic Love this episode Anyway We'll talk about that later Yeah Thank you guys for joining The Unsubscribe Podcast I was joined today By Eli Doubletap The Fat Electrician Angry Cops King Trout And myself Donut Operator Thank you And I will see you In the after show Nice Peace bitches Outro Music Outro Music Outro Music