THE EXTREME BEST FRIEND TEST! -You Should Know Podcast-

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I've done a little Y2K. Yes, Jared. Break the wall. Good morning. How are we feeling? He said, break the wall. Dude. Squeak. Hey, let's break the fourth wall. Let's break the fourth wall. Break the wall. Down, down, down, down, down, down, down. We just got off a plane from DreamCon. No, they're 100%. Me and Cam are injured. Oh, my body's in agony. My body's in agony. We have been, my whole left side of my body, it's not working at all. No, I'm not going to lie. J-Dub, J-Dub hurts people on the court. Yeah. And it's a strange thing. Can I say, J-Dub is a sexy guy. Like, you know what? We're not doing that yet. Wait, we're, I'm just going to say, we came back from DreamCon. We're in the DreamCon basketball charity game. We will talk about that. And normally on the Patreon exclusive. That we put out every Wednesday. We talk about it more. But this Patreon that's coming out this Wednesday. Is finally, we're putting out the episode we did with Netflix comedian, Nate Jackson. Yeah, we are. We filmed that. Yeah, we are. Big Nate in the cut. It's so funny. Like, three, we're not comedians. But like, we make jokes. He's actual comedians. But like, us bouncing off of each other. It was so inappropriate. So funny. It was of inappropriateness. If you want to see that and you're not in the Koala Club, you know where to go. It's at Second Link Clicking. Can I tell? Okay. You haven't. This is the first time we've like, as soon as I walked in here, we started recording. So you haven't seen my outfit yet. Yes. I know. I kind of like it. I like the shirt. Do you like this? Peyton, what? This is my new crop top. Holy. Holy. Cropped. Stand up again. Yeah. That is a dip. This is his arms down. You're an old running back for the Cowboys. That is, that's like practice Jersey. That's a little Zeke vibe. Like, I like how it's like a trail straight. Like it is so much hair. Mind you so much. You, I've never met a man. I've never met a man. Crazy stance. Well, you got some, you got a hit. What happened? Did give a little bit of that. There was so like little in the top of your pant. Like if this is your, you said, get a little that your pants, but it was like, it was like four inch gap. He said, get a little better. You know, during dream con lost some, you've lost some dude. RDC world told me my got smaller. Dude. RDC world told me that my butt got a little. Meanwhile, I'm still rocking. I'm dragging a wagon. I'm sweaty, fat, and I'm in pain anyway, dude. Yeah. No, your shirt sucks. No, I take it back. No, it is a, it is a super crop tee and Sarah, Sarah, like she's back there and she, we, she came to the studio today. She did. Hello, sir. And as we were walking out, she goes, babe, I'm not comfortable watching you like that. And I hurt my feelings as a man, but I told her, I was like, there's going to be women out there that are going to swoon overseeing my navel. A lot of swooning women. And can I just say, you brought up your navel, right? Yeah. Genuinely. And I mean this as, as your lover. I've never met another man that has equal hair on his navel that he does on the tough. Yeah. I've never seen that. I'm rocking Bush right now. Oh God. I'm rocking. Like, dude, sometimes. I like to just get a good Bush going. Your hair isn't it? Yeah. Oh man. I'm just a hairy guy. I know. It looks like if I'm naked, if I'm naked, it looks like I'm wearing pants. So it's like, you see me like you have ants all over your body. Cause like, it's, it's really weird. Like here, I'm so sorry, but like right here, so cropped, that is so cropped. Like, look right here. Yeah. There's no hair up here. There's not. I mean, it's a hard end. It starts. It starts right here. And it just like, it takes over everything else. It's bad, bro. Like I have a, like, I'm like a cave man. Oh no. Very much. I would have survived in the BCs, man. Oh, you would have thrived. You'd have been the leader. You'd have been the leader of the. Careful. I'd have been the leader of the monkey tribe. That's not the monkeys. I didn't say. I said you would have been a leader. I didn't go. You would have been the leader. No. I said you would have been the leader of the. You see the resemblance there, don't you? Now I understand. I understand the whole evolution thing. Don't buy it. Do we get a little bit of DreamCon recap since we're not going to have one on the Patreon? We have to. I think, I think it's only right. Let's do the highlights. Okay. So we played in the, in the charity basketball game. My team won team mark. I'm undefeated in DreamCon. I had one point. I had one point. I told everybody I was going to have zero. I had one point. Overachiever. Always have been. I've never been even in my highest of highs of basketball. I've never been in there to score. That's never been my thing. I don't look to score. I don't care to score. I don't want to score. I'm in there to make sure things go right. And that's what I did. I made sure to get that W. And that's why we get picked up four years in a row. A hundred percent. Neither one of us have ever needed to be the star. No. I don't need to be the MVP. I'm going to play my role. No, but so I was sitting on the bench and Mark Phillips came up to me, bro. And Ippie. And they came up. And Ippie's a part of RDC. And they were like, hey man, P, how are you feeling, man? We're so glad that you can come back to the game. And I said, yeah, bro, I'm feeling good. And he goes, yeah, dude, last year was a little rough for you, wasn't it? You go, hey, man, I'm never really out here to score 30. I'm doing my best. I go, what do you mean? He was like, it was a little harder for you to get up and down the court. I was like, oh, yeah. I was like, I was like, yeah, I mean, yeah, I put on some pounds last year. And he goes, no, you were chunky. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to lie. I'm not agreeing. I'm not agreeing. And then I was like, yeah, man, I was drinking a lot. And he goes, yeah, man, so glad that you're staying healthy, bro. You needed it. You needed it. You needed it? That's like the nicest way to call you a fat alcoholic. That means to say like you, like we were, they were, that's crazy. The fact that they both have your literal cell phone number. Apparently for a year. Yeah. You were. Oh, you need to be. I'm so glad you're here with us. I've known Mark Phillips since I was like six years old. And the fact that he said that to me on the bench during a national broadcast, I went in there and I was there like, I was like sucking in my stomach, walking around. I was like, what are we doing? And that's not where the dream con embarrassment ends. You don't know this because we were on different teams. I'm so excited to hear this. Yeah. So we were on different teams. So two years ago, we were on different teams. Yeah. But it was a big conjoined locker room. It was a big conjoined locker room. It's like everybody was. We were kind of vibing, right? Now, then the next year we were on the same team. And now we're here, different teams, different locker rooms. Dude. I didn't see any of his pregame semantics, any of that. I didn't see anything. I was so embarrassed during the dream con basketball game. Golly, dude. You got me just. I never want to be on anybody's live stream ever again. So I don't know if you know, but I was on the team with Ben DeDon. Yeah, you were. One of the funniest guys on the internet. He's a huge streamer right now. I'm a fan of him, right? And he's liked a couple of our clips on Instagram. He's liked a couple of our clips on Instagram. And I know he did. So I know you know me, man. I know you know me. Bro. Yeah. Man. And so I'm like, I don't do well when I'm away from Cam. But I know Cam would want me to really flourish in these kind of environments. There we go. Try to talk to people. There we go. So it's hard to just talk to these people because they're on stream. Like Ben was on stream the whole time. Throw it at 20,000 souls. Yeah. You go, hey, what's up, Ben? He goes, hey, fuck out of here. So. Well. Oh, no. Ben was a really nice guy. He was, bro. Everybody was really nice. So it was like, who else? Ty Leo. So Ty Leo and Ben were on my team and they're on a stream at the same time. Ty Leo called you sexy. Let's just put that out there. He did call me hot. And then at the time, I didn't know. I didn't know. I was like, I'll kiss you in the mouth right now. I didn't know if I should take it further or reel back. See, I don't know how to perform if you're not around. It's okay. It's okay. We're working. So as I was alone in that locker room with these two live streaming men that I'm a fan of. Yes. I was thinking of you. And I was like, what would Cam want me to do? He would want me to fix my posture. There we go. Big step one. I mean, you're always like this. You're like, what's up, Ben? Hey, man. Getting ready. Gonna have a great ball game tonight, Ben. Yeah. Great game tonight, Ben. Oh, what'd you say? Yeah, no problem, man. Let's do it. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. Ken would be like I want you to fix your posture and I want you to talk to people yes sir so that was what I was gonna do and then Duke Dennis walks in oh god third stream is going so I got Duke Benadon and Ty Lill all streaming and they're all sitting by me so I can't avoid these cameras but I'm like okay I gotta talk Ken would want me to talk I'm so afraid I'm so afraid what leaves your mouth they start making jokes right they're bantering oh my god I can see you trying to like fake laugh you're gonna go you're like that's what happened to the fact that y'all can pull up these streams right now Kim I counted in my head I counted you pull up these streams right now I counted how many times I tried to insert myself in a joke oh no oh it was 13. I got ignored 13 times in a row I thought you were gonna say like six Kim there was a point in time I was like am I muted am I alive you go hey Duke you scream do you see me so they were making jokes I'm sitting right next to them I'm like oh my god I'm so afraid I can't wait to talk to them I'm so afraid I can't wait to talk to them I'm so afraid I can't wait to talk to them next to Ben and Ben's funny as hell so he was making jokes and so somebody would come in the locker room and he would make fun of their shoes I'd be like bro those shoes are f***ing insane no one would say anything and I thought okay missed that one someone else would come there's like this kid that looked like four years old but apparently he's 17 walked into the thing and they're like and Ben said man who's this baby grown man and I said yeah dude he's so small look at me bro your luck your luck say that was like the 13th one and you tried to switch it up and that same little guy walks in you go you like turn rude yeah who's this short and they all turn they go bro what's your f***ing deal that would have felt better honestly and then we came in at halftime and I was like let me try again I'm already seven in of getting ignored they're coming in and they're starting to talk about basketball but they're funny so they're making like jokes about but like they're mixing in serious with jokes I'm like I'm trying to find my lane wow I was playing hopscotch with the stream oh or double dutch I was double dutch in the stream I was like alright it's my time to jump into this joke here we go so they're they're talking about strategy and I know basketball and I and I thought I was funny easy in so I said they were talking about um some defensive scheme and I was like yeah don't worry about cam though his hips hurt and they're there chad chad what are we doing chat chat chat what are we doing chat chat oh man appreciate the 50 gifted they were just calling out subs while I was trying to get myself in there bro it got so bad I'm gonna end this here because you can pull this I'm not lying you can pull this up it got so bad Ben's security guard behind the camera went like this to me you you I'm not doing okay. I'm way too hot already. I'm way too hot. This is the hottest the studio's ever been. I'm way too hot. Ten minutes in. Payton, first off, if y'all don't understand, security guards, they don't speak. They don't speak. It's like they hire f***ing mutes. The meanest people. Big, brolic mutes for a security guard to look at another creator that's in the same event as his creator and go, hey, bro, you're all right, man. Hey, next time. That is absolutely insane. Ben could have seen a couple clips and not known me and doesn't know how to bounce off me. I've known Duke for years. Mark for my whole life. The fact that no one saved me from drowning waters. Oh, my God, dude. Yeah, no, it was bad. It was really bad. Oh, my God. Dude, I would physically, real life, pay money to go back and watch that fly on the wall. You can go to the— Oh, my God, I can't. There's three ways to watch it. There's three live streams, brother. Ben DeDon, Duke. Ty Lue. It's all in there. It's all in there. Can someone please clip those? No, there's going to be a compilation on TikTok right now of all the missed jokes from Peyton Harden. It's— Don't worry about Kim's hips hurt. Chat. We're doing chat. Chat. Where we at? No, they go like this, too. They go, chat, chat. Where we at? Where we at? That's what Ben did, but his phone was locked. He was looking at his lock screen, which was him. As it should be, King. Dude, no. I said, oh, is that the OVO? Hey, I stuffed my chains. Awesome, Ben. Your chains are awesome. You go, I'm going to go out to the court. You just did? At one point, I was in the locker like this. Oh, man. Oh, my God. I feel so bad, but I love you for that. Oh, my God. That's a drink. We'll talk. We have more. You have a Houston story, right? Oh, my God. No, no. I have to tell at least two moments from Houston. What happened? I'll make them quick. Was I there? The breakfast? Breakfast. The breakfast conversation. You got to remind me what happened. We go to breakfast. This is the day of the game. We're like, okay, we need to just chill until the game. Let's go hit a little brunch spot. We go, first off, 20-minute wait. Okay, no problem. During this 20-minute wait, we walk around the little table, and we're just sitting at a couch. We're literally just sitting, talking, dooming with each other. And this woman, probably. You remember what I'm talking about, right? I'm still lost. I don't know who we're talking about. The woman at breakfast with the craziest conversation. Oh, yes. The one that asked me that question. Oh, my God. So this woman, she's probably what? 50s? 50s. Yeah. But she was also. You know. Yeah. Anyway, she's in her 50s, and she's sitting there, right? And me and Pete, we're just vibing. And a couple fans come up, ask for a picture. So, of course, let's do it. We take it. We sit back down. So now this woman feels every right. Oh, excuse me, sir. Excuse me. Two things. Who are you, and what's going on in the city? What's going on in the city? Why are there so many blacks running around in animation costumes? Yeah, it's that type of woman, if you pick up what we're putting down. So we explain to her, right? We go, oh, well, first off, the city's just flooded because there's this thing called DreamCon. It's this huge event. It's sick. It's awesome, right? She goes, okay, cool, cool. A lot of black people. Now, what do y'all do? We go, oh, we have a podcast. Oh, is it about, like, sports? Or what is it? Oh, no. I mean, we're just a bunch of idiots. Like, you know, we just, you know, riff with each other, debate, talk random shit, tell stories. Very lighthearted. Yeah, I was like, yeah, we just like to get people's mind off things. Just really try to bring the lighthearted to the world. Hour, hour and a half a week to just laugh. She goes, oh, that's incredible. What's your deepest, darkest fear? And I'm not, I am not kidding. Not knowing the slight. No exaggeration at all. Literally, off of, that was the whole conversation. That was the whole conversation. This woman's third question to strangers. Yeah. Who are you? You would never have heard a harder swallow for me in my life. Peyton was literally in the middle of a drink. He said, what? What? And I said, what was that? She goes, yeah, your deepest, darkest fear. What keeps you up at night? And I was like, we literally looked at each other probably five, mind you, we're 10 feet away from this woman. We did not give her the time of day until we understood. Is this actually happening? We literally were like, and Cam, I hate to say it, in those moments, I completely, I bail out. I know it's fully on you now. You should know that I'm out at that situation. So then I give a somewhat wholesome, I wanted to kind of like pull her leg, but I was like, I'll go wholesome. I'm like, man, I don't know. Just state of the world for my kids, maybe in 20, 25 years, just, you know, fear of the unknown. She goes, oh man. Wow. Isn't that beautiful? Now, what can you do to get them out of that dark time? And I said, who are, like, what the? What's happening right now? I'm over Eggs Benedict right now. I'm waiting to get a table for brunch. What are you doing? And then you could tell she's with, presumably, her son. And her son's like this. No way. No way. That was a business partner. That was absolutely her son. No. Absolutely. That was a Latino man. She was a white woman. If you were at brunch with your father, they'd say, oh, that can't be his son. I look like my dad. He's what? We've known them for six minutes. We didn't study their structure. What the hell? You don't do that? What? You don't play that game with strangers? Are they f***ing your family? You don't do that? I've never played are they f***ing or family ever in my life. That's a real game. It's a pretty quick radar for me. I go, oh, that's f***ing or oh, that's blood. It's that quick. I don't go, ah, well. Well, the people at the breakfast, that was f***ing their family. And that's f***ing more than family. The deepest, darkest question is f***ing more than family. Yes. That's a business trip. They get to it. He was like 26. Yeah. Yeah. No, he wasn't. No, he was older. He had to have been older. But yeah, you don't play that game. Yes, f***ing family. Everywhere I go. With like two adults, I'm like, oh, they're f***ing their family. Not like everybody, because that's weird. What's wrong with you? Not with everybody, but like people like, you know, in situations, you're like, who are they? Like, what are they? Am I out of my sense? It's f***ing weird. It's like clearly siblings. Like, oh, they're f***ing their family. They look a lot alike, man. Almost twins. I see them f***ing. Like, what? i'm gonna expose myself some more sorry you i didn't want to go i don't want to cut you off but um just craziest question no it was the weirdest ever um do you remember it's been popping up on tiktok a lot do you remember slap fridays you should know podcast this episode is brought to you by factor boom all of a sudden hunger strikes you go to that fridge what's in there absolutely nothing what are you exhausted and hungry but guess what that is where factor comes in to play for me eating healthy is not a willpower problem i have the willpower i can do it it's a setup problem it's a cleaning problem it's a getting all the ingredients problem it's all that i can't do that part and that is why factor has our backs factor has meals built around your goals whether that's weight loss overall health more protein and even glp1 support every meal is crafted with functional ingredients lean proteins colorful veggies whole foods and healthy fats factor is fresh and never frozen with over a hundred rotating weekly meals you will never get tired of eating factor and they have even introduced the globally inspired flavors so don't just trust me don't just trust p trust factor and give them a try head to factor meals.com slash ysk50 off and use code ysk50 off to get 50 off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until september 27th 2026 see website for more details now on to the rest of the episode you should know podcast what the hell oh dude you you don't have slap fridays at your school this is in the public education system oh this is going different than i thought it would go you i thought you had no no no slap friday was basically sarah did y'all slap friday no no we have morals in north texas no no no i did too slap friday was this thing that happened like middle school where on fridays you would slap somebody's right you just go up and slap somebody's it wasn't until people are talking about it now on tiktok i didn't know guys were slapping girls my whole middle school career i was hitting all the boys i didn't know i didn't know y'all were grabbing women i didn't so that was that's the realization i've come to in the past 48 hours okay that's an incredible game would have loved to compete in that but no no it's creepy looking back on it's creepy because i didn't know that slap friday was for the opposite sex i was doing it to my boys yeah i was on my tiktok and they were like can we talk about how the people we grew up with need to go to jail because of slap fridays and i was like i'm going to jail and they're like isn't it crazy that we would just walk up to random chicks and slap their and i go i was like oh y'all were slapping girls like i was tapping marquise's from the back for two years straight okay okay hey yo what up d oh d boy happy friday mom he said hell yeah you hit that pr and squats boy this now this i'll leave it up to you uh starting about right now you'd say if any of this has to go yeah i might incriminate myself i have a take on the slap friday oh no uh yeah i'm gonna go for it i'm gonna go for it cj cj be ready i'm glad y'all had like a sanctioned game like slap friday um there was about a two to two and a half month period where i was like oh my god i'm gonna go for it where I was talking to this girl, I believe in the 8th grade, every single day at the end of 5th period, I slapped her. Wait, what? You did a what to her? We'd line up at the door, wait for the bell to ring, it would ring, the kid at the front would open the door, and while we would split our separate ways before we left the classroom, every day, for about 75 days consecutively. And she had a dumper. She had an absolute. It's a trailer. This is your girlfriend? Nah, never dated, man. Never dated. You never talked to her? I go, "Didn't know her name!" I'm kidding. I'm kidding. This is a comedy podcast. No, it did happen, but I didn't know her name. Did she know you were going to do it? Yeah! Was she cool with it? Yeah! You asked her for permission. There wasn't a lot of dialect. There wasn't a lot of discourse involved. It wasn't like, "Have a good day, sweetie. Smack." I'm trying to gauge if this is staying or not. Did she know it was happening? Yes. The first time. Did she allow it? Yes. The first time. First time might have been a move. Might have been a move on my part. Let's spice some things up. Like, "Oh, I'm cool with the good morning emoji." I was like, "What's that for?" And then. How old were you? Eighth grade. That's too old, man. Eighth grade. That's too old! You're like 15. First off, I didn't get held back, moron. If you're 15, if you can get your permit in the eighth grade, you suck. You absolutely suck. If this guy has a permit in the eighth grade, you are a Neanderthal, and you are menacing. Menace to society. Oh, dude, no. We had a kid that was 17 in the eighth grade. Yeah, I remember. You just talked about him. He had like a four-minute mile. Yeah. He just like ruined your life. No, it was incredible. He had everything. He had money, cars, all of it. In the meantime, I mean, I had no friends playing Black Ops 2. It was unbelievable. Do you know what's crazy? Tell me. I have a question. Okay. About like the Fourth of July happened a couple weeks ago. Okay. Well, actually, a while ago. It was probably over a month. No! No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. I'm so bad with time, bro. I'm so bad. It was like three weeks ago. I don't care, honestly. Yeah, I mean, immediately. Okay, but I was in the airport the other day, and they were selling America 250 merch, right? Yeah. Yes, sir. And like this last Fourth of July, everything was 250. America 250. Yeah. Pretty obvious. I don't get that, though. I don't understand it. Because. Oh, God. America's older than 250 years. Incorrect. No. False. No, no, because there was 400 years of slavery. All right. And so they're saying, right, that the Declaration was signed in 1776. 1776. 1776. Sure was. Now, if I do my math correct. 250. 1776 plus 250 would be around 18, and we're in 2026. What in the. It just came out of your mouth? 1776 plus 250. It would be around 18-something. I don't know the math. I don't know. 1776 plus 250, sweetheart, would be right now. Right now. 1776 plus 250 is 2026. Hence, the 250 freedom merch. 2026 minus 250 is. Wow. Yeah. Welcome to Earth. Wait, why was I having such a hard time with that? I don't know. You might have been freaking out. I don't know. You might have been diced. No, 1776. I was taking like the. What are you doing? Because 200 plus 70. Hold on. 776 plus 200, right, is 976. Why does any of that matter? So I thought that would be like 1958 or something like that. You just said 776 plus 200 is 976. Yeah. 776, you're missing a thousand. You're missing a millennia. I drowned you out after this third number. What was that? What was that? You drove yow? That's what I heard. I drive yow. I drive yow. Okay. That makes sense now. Back to you real quick. I'm not done with you. What did I do? That's an incredibly bad moment for you. Yeah. That was embarrassing. But we solved it quick. See, I didn't debate you or anything. And that's growth. Yeah. Honestly, that's growth. But no, I'm not done with you because you quite literally were about a smidge away from being the reason that I leave the country and delete all of my social media. Me? You. Peyton Harden. For what? We're in Houston for DreamCon. Right. The game ends. It's a late night. We're both in pain and we're both drenched in sweat. Yeah. What did we do? We go up to the room to shower, right? Yes, we did. Quickly. So I immediately butt naked. Boom. Butt naked. Absolute crab. Just butt naked sitting on the toilet. And I'm on the phone with my wife. And now it's a long conversation. I haven't spoke to her in some hours. Oh, I love you so much. I can't wait to see you tomorrow morning. Can't wait to hug the boys. All the good stuff, right? Now, I have finished using the pot. I mean, I've wiped and flushed and all. Now I start just kind of walking around butt ass naked, right? And I'm thinking nothing of talking to my wife. Right. Oh, love you too. Butt naked. I hit a little kneel at one point and I stand up. Wait, what? I was on my knees. You kneeled naked? I was butt ass naked on both of my knees. If you kneel naked, you're trying to get something taken or given. That's the only thing you could do. I was in the room by myself, so that declines it. Oh, there's. That declines it. You can. Anyway, I'm on my knees. I stand back up. Now, toward the very tail end of this conversation, I kind of start playing with it. Now, I don't know why. What? Not like a full blown, like. You're slapping Johnny? It was more like a pick. I was like picking at it. What? I think my nuts were real sweaty. Sweaty nuts. Show me like just. I was kind of like just like. Do it on your pants. Like. on the end of your pants like shaft was still stuck to stop okay just show us what you're doing like that you're unpeeling like a three-finger monte just going like a like oh so you're spider web and you're getting off the die yes gwen gwen stacy pulling it off i'm here and now i love that dude i love the sound it makes oh yeah it's like a little peel it's like a like a sticky note oh my god oh you have a sweaty scrotum and you pull off the shaft like a nice like a firmly pressed sticky note can i be honest i don't know what my shaft is ready i don't know what that is like when you keep saying that i don't know if that's the pubes or what i don't know what the shaft is literally it's the chef this is the shaft yeah that's your head my rod yeah oh oh oh i have a shaft he has a rod i have a revolver he has a 12 gauge oh off i get it we're all blessed anyway i'm sitting there and i start to pick strange i'm just trying to get the get off the phone get in the shower so i can go have a drink yeah right now i turn around in the middle of my hotel room my windows oh i did do that are wide open all the way to the side and i never ever do that in my hotel room the morning of the game he came in there hey bro you got that undershirt and he said don't do that my room don't do it i would never do that in your room and if i did you'd shut it down immediately if i tried to close it you go oh hell no he goes dude i don't know i mean this is like great sleeping conditions but grow up count dracula and he opens up and i never in the history of my 28 years of existence i've never done that so i'm not thinking they're open i am butt naked flaccid as a picking my sweaty small crotch and i turn around in the city of houston is outside of my window there's 10 000 people out of that window when i tell you when i tell you two things my immediate reaction oh my god and you wonder why my knee i dropped to my knees my immediate reaction i literally dropped to my knees both of them both money at the same time i pulled elisa kennedy i literally said i went oh i dropped down to my knee i said there's because there's another skyscraper hotel directly across from us oh and i'm at a decent vantage point i'm on the eighth floor you can see from street level and you can sure see from the penthouse so i'm i'm highly invisible and then after i army crawl to my windows but make i'm i'm literally going this mother but naked who didn't at all and i get there and i go i have to make sure no one i peek up on the window seal there was three rooms that were fully lit that had human beings mobile moving phones in hand kick backs in these hotel rooms right across the street so i'm i'm just gonna say it now if somehow that footage airs i'm sorry and this was a it was a fantastic run i would not i would not spend the last five years of my life doing anything else you go but it is over i promise i'm a grower oh no i promise i'm a grower all right you can ask my wife you can ask you can ask my wife i'm a grower okay first of all i am sorry it was unbelievable that is actually the funniest thing ever unbelievable that is so good i fell to my knees yeah as a six seven man i'm literally like this that's a lot of knee dropping in that story it hurts the fact that you were just recreationally on your knees at the beginning talking on the phone but naked like this i was like yeah no way it was breathing oh yeah and then i said i said you know i'm naked right she said what i said and then she lived word for it she goes oh you have a cute butt yeah dude i love when sarah says that hey you fun fact is it crazy i've sent some of the booty pics that you've sent me to my girlfriend you should know podcast this episode is brought to you by cash app guys malachi's starting to get a little old on me right he's a little cute he's starting to understand stuff i showed him a dollar the other day and it had my mind spiraling i need to teach this boy about money but i thought what would 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customers who are parents can use our exclusive referral code family10 to earn 10 download cash app enter the referral code in your profile send five dollars to a friend within 14 days and you will receive the 10 bucks dollars terms apply cash up is a financial services platform not a bank banking services provided by cash apps bank partners prepaid debit cards issued by sudden bank member fdic cash out visa debit flex cards issued by sun bank member fdic the bank or bank in a pursuant to a license from visa usa see terms and conditions for the sudden prepaid card sun debit flex card and bank corp debit flex card savings and offers provided by cash app a block inc partners and legal guardians can open a managed account for kids six to twelve visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures now on to the rest of the episode is that weird i mean that's our level of love but i just i didn't know that it was happening there's one of you sarah's seen yeah my white stallion multiple angles laying down standing up from the side that one's mint yeah that one's here but oh my god dude put that on a dating profile what messes it up is you have uh like a mouse bitmoji over your face so it's like kind of too scandalous oh like it's not funny it's like who is that little white stallion who's like is that yes jules oh oh dude my is hairless i have a spotless monkey you have a spotless monkey spotless little back porch oh dude no you gotta you gotta mow my head just to get to mine you gotta get some landscaping work oh you're i've never seen anything darker than your track like quite literally i have never seen anything darker than your like the bridge to terabithia it's like magical but you might die on the way it's it's chronicles of narnia yeah wardrobe to either hell or a beautiful wonderland yeah dude you know what also bothers me about our friendship what i've never seen it that is weird i don't know how you haven't seen it it's in your multiple times you've seen mine a lot i've seen it multiple times yeah you've never just presented it to me can we just whip out johnson i've seen your i've seen i've seen the you've seen the scrote yeah i've seen is that what scrote is scrote yeah are you like i mean i know you're 15 in the eighth grade but what are we doing did you skip health maybe did you skip a physical checkup but the fact i don't like your nuts why they're here they're like really pink no they're not they're really pink they're like little mouse little rat nuts no my nuts are good hugh good hugh no it's too much it's too bright it's like a it's like a dark salmon my nuts yeah pink hey guess what your your balls look like asphalt okay your balls are dark as dude i don't know why i don't know why everything down there is so dark it's like it doesn't blow it's aftermarket everything on me is aftermarket you have a third party yeah it's been vc on my on my lower half i don't know where that came from there's okay no no yeah we have to segue we have to segue first okay wrap it up houston was great his city's always dreamcon baby it's good dreamcon's good uh bro you know what i was thinking though just going to the convention and whatnot and like just seeing like just marvels of production and all those all those led screens first off i mean you have a thing for led the back of an led screen causes blood flow i will say that you stood you spent more time behind the screen than in front of it because you were just admiring the wiring i was like a little fly yeah addicted to the light but yeah i say all that to say i'm i'm almost like in need for our new studio to be done oh i'm super excited for it i'm wanting to be done i'm excited too so we're almost at the end of the run of waiting for a new studio we uh we i think we finally are getting ac they should be putting it in pretty soon um but i'm throwing like a party okay yeah oh you did say that you mentioned it yeah i'm gonna throw a party for our new studio for you i'm bringing a bunch of aphrodisiacs what i got bubbly what in the hell did you just say aphrodisiacs now beg the pardon out of me i'm simply i'm almost guaranteed you don't know what you just said no i know you can say it you have no clue what that means like relics like old realms and relics of ancient greek rome times because i know that's what you like am i having my mistake no no i love that and that is what i like right now just one more time to your camera define aphrodisiac for me an aphrodisiac is like an old ancient like like a ancient like thing like a mummy like tombs and mummies and knights and wizards like that stuff right i did it for you oh no no no the thoughts there the vocab's not what's an aphrodisiac brother an aphrodisiac is something that like induces like pheromones hormones like get you ready to go i'm talking about dildos no like like like certain foods so that literally like hormonal balance gets you ready to like like mate, like a honey pack. Yeah. Honey pack aphrodisiac. You just said, honey packs don't deserve that name. You just said you're throwing a party. And for me, you bought aphrodisiacs. That is, that's what came out of your mouth. So forgive me that I was choked on my drink. You said, bro, we got the new cereal. Honestly, I'm so excited to celebrate. I'm, I'm ready to like, that's what you just said. And, and in no way, shape or form, did I know that there was like prerequisite foods to sexy time? Oh, Oh, Oh, do you, Oh, you don't know anything about this. Now I'm kind of having a panic attack because so many times in like a formal setting, I've said aphrodisiac so many times over dinner or like trying to sound smart meetings. Yes. Like I've tried to bond over the movie Troy so many times and I brought up average aphrodisiacs. Can I read you this? Can I read you the definition? You're teaching me. So I'm like, I'm not trolling at all. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm about to quiz. I'm about to, I'm going to have to give you like a list of food. An aphrodisiac is any substance such as food, drink, or medication that arouses and increases sexual desire, pleasure, or performance. That's an aphrodisiac. You just told me you were giving me a rhino pill for our new studio. Can we do an aphrodisiac quiz and you quiz me on what's an aphrodisiac or what's not. And I'm going to have a stroke if I say that one more time. I'd love that. I'd love that. So just compile a list of like different fruits or foods or substances. And some of them may not be aphrodisiacs. Some of them may be aphrodisiacs. And I can tell you which ones are which. Perfect. Okay. And the aphrodisiac quiz. All right. I've compiled the list of actual aphrodisiacs and then some non aphrodisiacs. We're going to see if you can tell the difference. Yeah. No, I am sweating. Are you looking at my shirt? Yeah. You look gross. Yeah, but you don't look good. I'm dripping sweat. This is ridiculous. Okay. So the aphrodisiac quiz, does this make you get in the mood or does it not? I just learned what an aphrodisiac is. Yeah, that's unbelievable. Read a book. You can't tell me that's not like ancient Greece, like relics and like antiquity, like memorabilia from the Roman empire. Antiquity. It's close though. Antiquity, aphrodisiac. First off, aphrodisiac. Shorten the word. Shorten the word. Aphrodisiac sounds way more like Roman time than antiquity. I think it stems from aphrodisiac. I think it then and whoever drinks or whoever takes the most time in all pm wins here we go afro du chat quiz first one up oysters yes oysters are an afro yes because you're getting that you get in that thing harry jowsey taught me he almost got me home that night boy oh my god who's marrying harry i'm about to he ate that good he said he said you just take it you just got all his yeah and he got in there and i cut my lip after i was like oh i'm okay that's good yeah next one passion fruit passionate from miles away passive with the things com says passing up on gums old way i can't come with no gum when can all right what is it passion fruit that sounds passionate yeah it sounds passionate not an afro d jack okay all right now i'm learning why not i need a why i go because it's not but that was a trick one okay despite the name the name i was okay now i'm learning i'm learning i'm learning here we go coffee coffee no i think coffee causes ed if you do too much create or caffeine too much caffeine causes ed is that fact no but i think for you for your person like because your blood's going everywhere else and you can't you know what i mean oh my god you should start a research come on now also that is an aphrodisiac coffee is an aphrodisiac i go now i know why you're touching me every morning you're sitting oh my god oh my god wait wow wait i was joking that actually no no you're you're a freak show in the morning i am we show up for early recordings you go hey what's up man you sleep good yeah yeah when i hug you and you feel something stabbing your belly button yeah that's that's that's that coffee it's stabbing the gun a long finger yeah yeah yeah yeah okay next one cinnamon like raw cinnamon raw cinnamon i'm not gonna lie you ever done the cinnamon challenge you ever done the cinnamon challenge kind of like being choked i kind of like that feeling being choked so yeah yeah why not it is it is an aphrodisiac you're you're like rationale to get to your answer is incredible you said cinnamon challenge choking i like being choked yes okay here we go white chocolate you talk to me you know you know it's not it's not at all my god sir just gave me some white chocolate chocolate covered strawberries oh almost kicked her out of the car wait why nastiest thing ever they had sprinkles on no no okay time to hell out on the quiz white white chocolate is not nasty white chocolate's the worst chocolate you should know podcast this episode is brought to you by shopify shopify is where you go to start your business let me tell you what it's like to be a shopify shopify is where you go to start your business let me tell you what it's like to be a shopify shopify is where you go to start your business let me tell you what it's like to be a shopify shopify is where you go to start your business let me tell you what it's like to be a shopify shopify is where you go to start your business business let me tell you if you've been sitting on a business idea think 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slash YSK now on to the rest of the episode okay first off phone's down I'm ready to I'm ready for war right okay I know that means something to you because they called you that growing up all your black friends you felt they included yeah they called me white chocolate and something else can't say that one how'd that feel when your black friend said that I mean empowering like honestly like it's like I got plus four cool like they said it and I was like golly I'm good you you called your mom you're like guess what Tyrese called me today I go dude mom it's been a great day she's like why I was like oh I failed my quiz but Darian said this so white chocolate white chocolate is white chocolate's a substitute it's a last option you white chocolate is name a candy bar we're gonna stick to candy bars real quick I know you don't like your sweets yeah you snatched but listen white chocolate on any candy bar that is normally milk yeah the white chocolate version is superior now this is not getting political or racial I'm simply talking about sweets Kim I I get a white chocolate snickers crack where chocolate Reese's crack white chocolate uh uh uh why why because it's sweeter cream Hershey's bar cookies and creams I got fired for that candy cookies and cream isn't white chocolate it's white crumbs in it are you belligerent cookies it's a talk it's a chocolate bar it's a cookies and cream is not white chocolate okay white chocolate's his own thing cookies and cream is literally cookies and cream oh okay okay so a Hershey's cookies and cream right Hershey's are we talking about the bar are we talking about the bar yeah the bar so I've never had that company I've never had that that makes chocolate bars and the whole just white and the only black stuff is little crumbs you need to watch your mouth cookie yeah the little black stuff is crumbs of cookie yes you're meaning to tell me that it's not white chocolate I'm not talking about that cream is for the street cred dumb it's white chocolate with crumbs of cookies so take it to ice cream cookies and cream ice cream is vanilla and cookie crisp first off no the it's not and Jesus Christ if you were eating cookie crisp that explains that's one of the worst what Christmas one of the worst cereals ever hey next time wake up the next morning just get cotton candy why don't you what cookie Chris you like cotton candy cotton candy's great I'm saying cookie crisp has zero nutritional value it was pure cereal has nutritional value uh I hate bunches of oats those don't have nutritional value honey bunches of oats have way more fiber and they have actual natural ingredients as opposed to mini chocolate chip cookies okay okay but put it in the kids cereal type of formation here right take it to like cookie Chris is the same thing as Fruit Loops what's the uh Lucky Charms Fruity Pebbles Lucky Charms all that cookie Chris is an elite cereal and it's a top five cereal of all time cookie crisp cookie Chris took over a generation you yeah they changed a generation of a generation of fatties that you scared cookie Chris cookie crisp is that is I would argue that is one of like objectively we pull a hundred humans maybe three people say how old are they how old are they all across the spectrum no no all across the spectrum no no all the kids nowadays are lost they're lost yeah exactly they don't have that anymore exactly I'm talking about in the peak no no you're proving my point better no it's not you're saying only people that's proving my point better you're saying only people that are roughly our age with cookie chris no cookie chris is equivalent to frank ocean oh what because kids nowadays won't appreciate the greatness of frank ocean frank ocean had a hell of a run he changed music he changed everything he took a generation by storm but now and he disappeared so kids that are coming up now listening to music 13 year olds 14 year olds now they're not gonna appreciate frank ocean they're not gonna appreciate cookie chris cookie chris came in at a time where cereal needed us most not only did they change the cereal game they changed the milk industry because they were the first cereal that could change the milk first off what does that mean what do you mean it changed the milk i just said it yeah you said it with no comp what does that mean it changed the milk because they were the first cereal that it turned your milk brown and you drink it after it you The fact your parents let you eat cereal they did not have your best intentions at heart what the My parents let me eat cereal what am i supposed to eat as a kid Do you want to be disproven at the speed of light disprove me Cocoa puffs Cocoa puffs I never had a cocoa puffs so i can't oh dude dude i never had that i didn't actually eat chocolate cereal except for cookie crisp if we're being completely on it the fact your parents let you eat cereal they did not have your best intentions at heart what the my parents let me eat cereal what am i supposed to eat as a kid Do you want to be disproven at the speed of light What am i supposed to eat as a kid Belgium waffles nothing wrong with a good waffle from the other side of the world and your lactose You as i figured it out are lactose was like chronic acne and stomach pain you want to be like oh god i don't know what it is but the cereal is good oh i just had a thought what I had it driving because we're on tour right now yes we drive to venues when we're out and about in other states you know what i never see what water towers i've never been to another state and seeing a water tower i've never been to a state outside of texas and seeing a water tower ever i'll give you a million dollars i'll give you a million dollars cash To go to california go to california right now i don't have a million dollars cash Oh, don't backtrack now, you prick. Go to Los Angeles, California right now. Drive. Go do it right now. Give them a 405. Okay, see ya. Tell me if you see a water tower. You've never seen one. Hey, guess what? Albert Einstein, you don't see him in the downtown metropolis, you f***. Can I be honest? Hey, go to 10 million population city where it's a concrete jungle and there's skyscrapers and six sports arenas and a couple massive bridges and tell me if you see an old rusty water tower. Okay, that kind of proves my point. What's the point of water towers? What's the point? Because if you go to a downtown area in a city, you won't see a single water tower. What, the city doesn't get water now? They have so much superior systems, they don't need a tower for their townsmen. There's. There's over 1.2 million people that live in my city. It's not a downtown area, it's a suburban area. Over 1.2. We have multiple water towers. Yes, because we are all. Downtown. City. I haven't seen one. Yeah, there's not. Explain that to me. I think. First off, first off, don't have a degree in this, so let's start there. In irrigation. Yeah, in irrigation. I think that when you are more suppressed and away from the city, you use a tower for your functionality. I think it's propaganda for the city. I think it's all branding and labeling. I'm serious. When is one time you've ever seen a water tower get filled? No, no, I. No, I. Okay, now. Ain't shit in there, bitch. No, I'm actually starting to. I'm gonna kind of level with you. You can agree with me. I've never fully understood a water tower. They don't make sense. I've never understood it. Think about how it's the size of a. First off, when I do my thing to brush my teeth, it's not coming from that. Oh, think about the size of a water tower. Just filling up, what, four houses? Probably a little more than that. No, because. Shower? No, no, okay. Washer dishes? I have always said that, too. People got pools? Like you just said, hundreds of thousands of human beings in these towers. Yeah, it's a marvelous, big, little, nice little tower. Yeah. That shit's not even clear in a block of houses. Water towers are not real. Oh, my God. Water towers are a conspiracy. Oh, my God. It's monitoring us. Oh, my God. What's inside of it? Cameras? Has to be. Or aliens? Well, there's like three guys with bad mustaches. They clock in. They just go every day. Oh, my God. Name one time you've ever seen a water tower get filled. I've. Okay, the filling, it has to be underground. What? In your mind, how did you think they were getting filled? Not a fire truck was pulling up and going. Like a big cup? No, a VIA helicopter. I was thinking. It's a tall building. I kind of put that in with the rooftop pools. Okay. So, for my. Just for my sanity, right? What's the point of it being a tower? So, for my sanity. For my sanity. Yeah. A concrete. A concrete. Water towers aren't concrete. They're heavy plastics. Plastics? Heavy plastics. Plastics? They're not metal. No one said metal. What'd you say? And I've seen metal before. What'd you say? I've never seen a plastic. What is this, Legoland? No, like heavy plastics. Like work plastic. Who the f*** are you, Fix-It Felix? A water tower is concrete. No, it's not. Majority of the ones. With the paint on it that says your city on it? Oh, my God almighty. I climbed water towers in high school. Oh, dude. Shut your stranger things a**hole up. That was the kissing spot. And the UT football field. You were getting a**hole on the top of a water tower. Not a**hole. A mouth. Did you really? What? You climbed a water tower? No, I got too scared. I watched from below. You were sitting there. You said, just imagine I'm up there with you. I'm sorry. I'm a little kind of afraid of heights. I go, get her! You go, get her! Hey, she doesn't like that! She doesn't like that! There you go. No, f***ing water towers are b***h. They have to be. There's no point of a water tower. And there's not. This is like. First off, there's not just water sitting in there. Getting pumped out to residential. And it's disgusting because the sun's going to hit it in the plastics. It's going to melt into the water. Shut the f*** up. Sarah, can you please say it with me? Ready? Three, two, one. Shut the f*** up about the plastics. She did not join my team. She did not join. That's a loyal woman. That's a key. Except for earlier. That's a key. Yeah, that's. This episode is brought to you by a personal favorite and a favorite here over at YSK, the GOAT, the greatest of all time, the best brand I've ever put on my body, Fabletics. Close the laptop. Don't need the read. Let me tell you something. Fabletics runs my closet. It runs my household. Now my girlfriend is wearing Fabletics. Cam wears Fabletics. Robbie wears Fabletics. Everybody on the whole team wears Fabletics. And when I. I'm not just saying this because, like, we're working together. I'm saying it because it's true. I wear Fabletics at, like, really nice dinners. I wear it out just leisurely. And if you can see during the DreamCon basketball game that we just played in, me and Cam were wearing Fabletics undershirts. Like, we were wearing, like, athletic, like, undershirts during the basketball game because that's how much we love it. They didn't tell us to do it. It's just the best brand ever for summer, for winter, for traveling, for business, for dinners. It's the best thing. You can wear it to a funeral if you want. Shop now at Fabletics.com to get 70% to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Come on now. Take a quick style quiz and be sure, just like YSK, when prompted, to unlock this offer. This is a limited time offer, so do not wait. Again, that's Fabletics.com for 70% to 80% off of everything. As a new VIP. We love you, Fabletics. Fabletics, we know they'll love you, too. Now, on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. Oh, you remember last week I brought up the whole Chris Brown thing? Yeah, please don't. No, no, no. We're not talking about back shots on stage anymore. Yeah, yeah. But I am, another just, a current event kind of flowing around in the air, right? Okay, what's happening? Malik Beasley, right? Oh, yeah, he's dumb. Dumb guy. Is that not absolutely insane? Yeah, it sucks. Okay, for our non-basketball, non-sports people, Malik Beasley was an NBA player. He was a NBA player. He was a NBA player. He was actively betting on himself in games. He plays in the NBA. He's putting parlays on his own numbers, and he got indicted for, they finally caught onto it. But then, it's beautiful when they reverse engineer it, and you see the sh** backed in. Yeah, so basically, he would bet like, I'm going to get less than three rebounds. I'm going to get more than four points, or something like that, just for simple terms. And you would see games where he had to get under three rebounds. He was sprinting away from the ball. It was like the ball was dynamite. Yeah, it was like it was dynamite. It was like a nuke. And I don't understand. Okay, I understand addiction's a real thing, and I think that's what it boils down to, is gambling addiction. But like, if you have, like, let's take it out of him. Let's take it off of Malik Beasley. If you have $500 million, right? Ooh, Malik never hit that. That's what I'm saying. Like, Malik never hit that. But like, why are you betting on like $1,000 bets, $100,000 bets? Like, you know what I mean? I mean, money's money. Like, that's what people, they're probably, it's probably, they just want more. If you have $500 million, losing $1,000,000? $1,000,000 is just pennies to you. Like, losing that, it's like us losing $10. Oh, let's pipe that one a bit. That's, I'm, I, no. Are you nuts? Paying $1,000,000 is $1,000,000. I don't care if you have $500 of it. A million, a million, losing $1,000,000? Loses a million dollars, that's not, no, that's not, I don't agree with you. If you lose a million dollars, I don't even have a million dollars to lose. I'd be in debt. Okay. If I lost a million dollars, I'm in the red. I literally have to sell my body. I have to go have sex on Harry Hines if I lose a million dollars. If I lose a million dollars, I'm a prostitute. I have to be. Oh, I'd be a good pimp for you. I'd know how to sell you well. You go, who wants to ride on the white saddle? I mean, he gets nasty. And they show me, I'm like. I ain't got some aphrodisiacs around. Give me some of that cinnamon and coffee. But no, if you, you can lose a million dollars like this. Incorrect. If you're, if you, if you're a billionaire. Let's say you're a billionaire. Okay, then double the five. If you're a billionaire and you lose $10 million, that stings. No, it does not. That stings. If you lose five million, does it sting? If we're back to five, I mean, a five. Hey, bro, I get your premise. Like Patrick Mahoney. Right now, he has, like, he got a $500 million contract. He could literally take $2 million right now and set it on fire and not even worry about it. If you think Patrick Mahoney is setting ablaze to $2 million. You can, you literally can. And it won't affect your daily life at all. If you were to burn you, let's bring it back to you. You, what do you have? Like $2,000? Yeah. Yeah. I go, yeah, I do. Let's take it to you. Okay. If you burn 200, if you have $200 right now, if you burn it, your life is not going to change at all. Take your pride and your morals away. Peyton, if I. Your life will not change at all if you burn $200 right now. If I burn $200 right now, someone better be on the phone with me when I'm crossing over the bridge on my drive home. Cam, you're insane. You're lying. You're lying for the camera. Okay. Your whole premise is a lot of money equals I can f*** off a lot of money. That's how money works. That's not how, no, that's not. Oh, my God. You're talking about. Oh, my God. You're talking about ratios. I'm saying from a human standpoint, it doesn't matter if you have 500 million. Okay. No, no, no. I'm not talking about morals and morality. I'm not talking about. I'm not talking about that in human standpoint. I'm talking about strictly numbers. Cam, that's why. That's why. If you had 500 million. I hate your nail beds. If you. Yeah, your nails are shoot. If you had 500 million and you woke up, let's just play the game. You have $500 million. Peyton Harden. Yes. I would spend a million dollars in 24 hours. You're not patching my homes. That's fine. You'd probably do that on your first. And I would never think about it again. Such a good tongue roll. If you had 500 million and you woke up and K-Rob calls you and goes. I would never answer K-Rob's calls. If I had $500 million, K-Rob would never answer K-Rob's calls. I would not have my phone number. I would put that out right now. Like, it literally be my girlfriend and you and my parents. That's it. There's only people that have my phone number. If I have $500 million, I'm a ghost to you. Are you crazy? K-Rob? You literally go. Oh, no. 500 million? I'm talking to somebody from Arkansas? Okay. I call you in the morning. Still a tough answer. I call you and I go, hey, bro. I don't know if you saw last night. You lost a million dollars. If you, Peyton Stephen Harden, look me in my eyes right now. After I tell you, you lost seven digits. Doing what, though? It doesn't matter according to you. That's the money point. It doesn't matter. Oh, no. Oh, doing what? That's where the human aspect comes in. Oh, but I thought we just said no human aspect. You got to let me speak or I'm going to punch you in the face. Oh, my God. You got to let me speak because I'm saying this. If I didn't control it leaving, that's different. I can burn it. If you said, Peyton, you got too drunk and you burned a million dollars last night. You'd be pissed. No, I would not. If I had 500 million, I wouldn't care. I'd be like, oh. I'd be upset because I could have given that to somebody. You are potting. I'm not potting. I'm not potting. Your thing is 500 to one. My thing is a million is a million. A million dollars. We're not talking about losing 10 grand. One grand. It's the same. 50 grand. It's the same. If you lose a million. If you lose a million dollars, that stings. You're the same guy that said you wouldn't take 20 million dollars just so you could have coitus. Yeah. I love my wife. I don't get my rocks off. I still need to take it from you. I need to. I need to feel it. If you lose. NBA players get pissed when they get fined $50,000. That's ego. That's pride because somebody else is forcing them to take it. That's what it is. If they're. They spit. I know people. I've been in a room. I've been in a room with a billionaire. Yes. And I've seen him. Spent a million dollars. Yes. In like two hours. Yes. And he walked away from that table and had fun. Yeah. And I said, I almost threw up. It doesn't matter. Money's not the same. Like if you were to go spit. You spit. Oh. Wow. You spit $1,000 on Pokemon cards. You haven't even thought about it. You spent $1,000 on Pokemon cards two days ago. You haven't thought about it. Yes. But that is a purchase. But you asked somebody else. That's a purchase and I'm going for a master set. But if you ask somebody else that's in a less fortunate situation. You, that's crazy ideals, right? But you haven't even fathomed that way of living of 500 million for a million would be nothing. It's the same thing. You see how that works. That's not the same thing because guess what? Dumb. I spent a thousand and not to sound like that, but I have savings accounts, stuff like that. And I haven't spent money on myself in a long time. So I wanted to. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. If I, what's the, what's the equivalent to that? If I had 50,000, no, if I had $500,000. It's well, okay, well, but a million's a million, a million's a million. And Hey, I want you to lean in real quick story about the billionaire. You know, that'll talk, right? Hey, you can't fathom that because we're not even close. Who is that? If you're close to, if you right now are close to a billion dollars in your name, that pretty little face, you were very handsome. By the way, we don't do this often. We don't do this enough. If you're close to my mouth, I'll lose a little equity. If you are close to a billion dollars, I quit right now. Really? Yeah. You'd expect if I had a billion dollars, I got canceled last time. Payton, if you had a billion dollars, the fact that you expect something from me is crazy. Say that I didn't say that. Why would you quit? Cause your life's not changing. I said, if I, if you had a billion and I didn't know that you had a billion, yeah, I quit, you'd quit the podcast. If you found out I was a billionaire, I'd quit Peyton. I'd quit you. I'd quit you. Is that not messed up? Is it not more messed up that you? You are a billionaire and I don't know what I eat does not make you. That's fine. That's food. I'm talking about financials. What does that change? Payton, when we have, at what point does it matter? What? What does that mean? Like your friend, like I've treated you the same. That should be more of equity. I've seen your genitalia. And that's worth more than a billion. I've had a head rub from your aunt. I know everything about your family. And if you've kept that you're a bill. We can't fathom it. A billionaire, a billionaire, you sound moochie. I'm not asking for a dime. Why are you leaving me then? Because that's, that's an incredible secret to absolutely keep from me because I wanted to test if you're actually my friend, it's a friendship test, a friendship test. That's fine. I'm passing the test. No, you're not. You're not passing the test. If you're going to leave me, if you found out that I'm doing better than you in life already, that more better, way more better than I already am doing better. Ears look really good, but you don't use them well, right? I said, if you were a billionaire, I'm not mad that I don't have a billion. I'm not mad that you don't bless me. None of that. That's fine. Right? I'm saying I'd be mad that I didn't know that you have trusted me with very deep secrets as so I have to you. That wasn't English. Yeah, that is the premise I'm coming from. I don't need your money. I'd love to figure out what you did to get there and some of your business. And that's fine too. That's fine. But you, but the way you're doing this is very colonial and like, and like you're. People like I need to, it's, it's my duty. It's I have to find out how to get involved in that. It's not, you're just be happy for me. You loved me before the money, right? I love you before the money. I loved you when you were creepy. I go, I loved you when you were nasty. Okay. Question. You don't, we don't have to make this long. Okay. Would you be more upset at me? Would you more? If you found out I was a billionaire right now, or if you found out that I had a child and I didn't tell you about either one, which one, if you didn't know out of the dark, I want this to live on the internet forever. Which one you'd be more upset about if you had a child right now, if you had a human being that came from your nuts right now, I would never talk to you again. If you had a kid that came from your nuts right now, if you had a kid that came from your nuts right now, I would never talk to you again. You were ready to fight me because I told a random man in the Neiman that my sister lived in Germany. You were mad that you didn't know my sister lived in Germany. That was crazy. If you had a seed, if you had offspring on Earth, you don't think I deserve to be mad? See, that's so different. If I found out you were- If you had a dog that I didn't know about, I'd be livid. Like, what do you mean you had Dexter? What do you mean? Where's this coming from? See, we're completely opposite how our minds work. It's because I love you more than you love me. If I found out- I wouldn't give a f*** about a child. If I found out you were a billionaire and you didn't break me off about half a mil at least by now, I would never- I would kill you. Oh, exactly. I would take insurance out on your life, Cam. Oh, but if I have a billion, you're not touching me. You're not- I'd have f***ing snipers everywhere. No, if I had a billion, first off, I would bless you heavily. Now, honestly, I don't think you would do this to me. I would set you up. I would set you up for something. Like, what does that mean? You'd have to work for me. You'd have to work for it. That's fine. I'd get you in a- like, what did you want? Like, a car shop or something? I'd hope you have a car wash or something. Like, go get it on your own. I didn't ask for a car wash. It's my money. Yeah, like, you don't- So, I just have to break you off cold cash. I would expect that. You would exp- oh, no. Because I've already put in the equity. I've already put in the sweat equity. What the f*** have I done? You've fallen off on it. It's changed, for sure. For sure, for sure. It's when them kids came along, bro. You started treating me different. You used to- this- this- You ask your kids now and, like, check on them is what you used to do to me. And it's- it's honestly been bothering me. First, it was that girl, right? And then it was those two kids. This is incredible. No, and I'm not upset because I get it, and I'm a grown man, and I get it. As you should, right? But I have emotions. I'm emotional. That's fine. And, like, you'll ask Malachi, you'll go, oh, Bubba, you do this? And I'll say, dude, that took me back to freshman year of Seminole State College. Like, and I was like, dude, I remember you used to ask me that. Anyway, let's get this out of here. That is unbelievable. But we absolutely love each and every single one of you. If you are watching this right now, we just got back from four banger shows. Boston, Chicago, Columbus, and Orlando. Thank you so much. Y'all are fantastic. And we have one city left domestically. At the time of this right now, there's a couple tickets. But when y'all are watching this, I don't know. It could be sold out. But hit that second link. First, sorry, first link in the bio. It's, I mean, I'm stroking out. I'm stroking out. What? I was just making fun of you. Oh, okay. Dallas, Texas, July 25th. That is our last show domestically. Then we're going across the pond. We're going to the UK. Hey, we're having an after party. Well, I don't know. We should have been set up already. But we're having a party after party. Yes, we're having an after party in Dallas. It's going to be crazy. It's going to be hella fun. So make sure you get your ticket to that. But also, if you're not in the Koala Club, you're absolutely tripping. Literally ask any Koala Club member, and they will say it is worth it. And it's an amazing community over there. And we put so much on there. There's some people that in the Patreon I love. They go, I forgot they have a YouTube channel. Yeah. Because there's so much. They just live on the Patreon. It's basically got Netflix over there. Imagine Netflix, but all the shows are YSK. So you have an entire other episode every week. Two sometimes. Yeah, sometimes two. If you're royalty, you have an exclusive live stream every single month. You have an exclusive episode just for you every single month. You have Dr. P's. You have conspiracies. You have TMTs. You have food feuds. You have games. You have challenges. You have vlogs. I mean, it's a lot. It's a lot. Go check it out for yourself. We love you. Confuse the casuals. Get the karma. This week's secret. Good karma. Code. Oh, do we do something about be nice to Payton during live streams? What? How was this episode? PLS, please. PLS. Payton live stream. Payton live stream. Payton live stream, please. PLS. Remember, one out of two clubbers I met up with Christmas, and we'll see ya. Yeah, I was butt naked. Dropped on my knees. Next time. That's so funny. That's why I have the bruise. That's so funny. That's why I have the bruise.