The Epic Guide to Disney World

(upbeat music) - Hello, and welcome to another episode of "Face News Network." This is gonna be a Patreon episode. So if you're listening not on Patreon, you're gonna hear the first half as a preview, and then you gotta go on Patreon to hear the rest. But today, we're gonna be talking, say hi, Sophie. - Hi. - Hi. Today, we're going to be talking about our trip to Disney World Magic Kingdom, (laughing) which was epic, and I think there's gonna be real value in this podcast episode, because we're gonna, I think we nailed it, we nailed the Disney trip. - We're gonna help you get the best bang for your buck. - And we're gonna tell you how to slay the kingdom, the kingdom of Christ, the magic kingdom. - Oh, oh. All right, someone's been on Christian Reels too much. - I've been watching Christian Reels. - It's a thing to learn. - We don't need to get into it right now. - I'm not Christian. I'm not a Christian, I'm a punk. - He's not yet. - I'm not, no. - Mickey is my god. - That's actually, that's the perfect way to sum up what it was like at magic kingdom. - Magic, okay. - It was a shrine to consumerism. It was a shrine to Mickey. - Look, if this is, if the magic kingdom is consumerism, then maybe I like consumerism. - That was kind of the vibe there, I'm not gonna lie. - I had a really good time at Disney World. - I did too, I did too, and I really didn't know how I was gonna go, like. - My new moral compass is do whatever I need to do to go back to Disney World. - Yeah, he's a Disney adult now. It's a thing, we're dealing with it. Yeah, we're gonna give you our tips and tricks to make sure you have the best time. - In Disney World, if you so choose to go and we're definitely experts for sure, I've never, this was the first time I'd ever been to Disney. And as someone who consumes, I talked about this last episode as someone who consumes a lot of Disney adult content, I felt kind, semi-familiar with Disney, even though I've never been. I knew a lot of the Tion, Gini Plus, and all this stuff, and the crowds and don't cost, I know I stop myself. - Not on the Disney episode, okay. - What would Mickey say? I don't know what Mickey Mouse says, honestly. - I don't think he ever, I don't think he's like, "Hi, I'm Mickey Mouse." - I don't think Mickey Mouse, not only does Mickey Mouse not curse, but he never even gets angry enough to ever. It's like, it's not like he has an alternative to cursing because he doesn't even, there's no context which he wouldn't even curse. - I'm not gonna lie, Mickey has always creeped me out. - So I'm gonna ignore that, and I will say one thing that I think is kind of important is, so Disney, we had a blast at Disney, but I actually would say that I could very well imagine that if Disney World is not done correctly, it could be a nightmare. - Yeah. - Like it's very crowded, it's busy, the lines are very, like-- - It's so hot. - It's so hot, so the potential at Disney is, it's not like you go and it's a guaranteed good time. It's, if you go to Disney and do it right, it's gonna be the time of your life. If you go to Disney and do it poorly, it's gonna be a nightmare. So we're gonna give you the T. - Yeah. - So first things first, okay. So if you already mentioned it, let's just get it out of the way. You gotta get the Genie Pass, the Genie Plus Passes. - So you're already paying a ton of money for Ticket. - Yeah. - Like I think I'm gonna level set with you. It's like 180 bucks a ticket or something like that. And the Genie Plus is like an extra like $30 a ticket. So-- - Which is honestly not that much in the scheme of Disney. - No, I think the Genie Plus makes your time at Disney twice as fun for only, for only like an additional like 15% more. - And I've heard the price like varies, so it probably depends on the day that you go. Like I guess for us it was 30 but I've heard as low as 15 on some days they use a variable price structure. So you know, if you go on a less busy day, you might even get a better deal. So I think it's non-negotiable. It's non-negotiable. - We should pause here and say we are absolutely 100,000% are not being paid by Disney to do this episode. We're like, it's a non-negotiable. You got to give them more money. - Well, I'm just saying. - Okay, but Kyle, who in the right mind listening to bass news network, following Jenna Varka, following punk revolution, I would think that we'd ever be sponsored by Disney? - I think a lot of people might think it. - A lot of dumb gen alpha kids. - No. - Sorry, okay, I like gen alpha. Anyways, as we were saying-- - So just, so Disney plus, genie plus, okay, whatever. So genie plus, so the thing with, so the thing with Nick, the thing with Nick Offerman is-- - The thing with Mickey Mouse, Mickey World, Disney World. The thing with Disney, Disney World is the lines are incredibly long, incredibly long. Like if you don't have genie plus, you're gonna be spending like an hour and a half per line, and you're gonna go on two rides, eat another two rides. And like each ride is like 5, 10, 15 minutes at most. So it's just like, if you don't have genie plus, I would go as far as saying going to Disney World is actually not very fun. - Can you tell everyone what is genie plus? - So genie plus is, it's a bonus that you extend, so it basically-- - Like what does it do? - It does a couple of things, the main thing it does is, it gives you flash pass. It lets you go into a much faster line, but you can only use it like once every two hours, so that's like a total of like three or four times per Disney outing, but you use it three or four times, then you've basically have doubled the amount of times you're gonna get it go on rides. - Yeah. - Plus you don't have to wait, the like the pain of standing, the pain of the heat, the boredom, although I will say they do try to make the lines kind of fun, but-- - The cues are epic. - The cues, apologies. And if you are a Disney adult listening right now, you will be aware that genie plus is a very new development and eventually it was called fast pass. - And what you could do is like, it was basically genie plus, but I think you could like go up to the ride and then there'd be like a kiosk that you get like a little, it's basically genie plus, but like more analog, and it used to be free. - Oh actually, you know what, another pro tip while we're on the topic, so all this stuff now, and I think it's actually pretty well, it's pretty good, is like a lot of this now is on your phone's app, like the ticket, and then also the genie plus is an extension now of the Disney experience app. So bringing yourself a portable iPhone charger, because-- - We did not do that. - The Disney experience app has a map of the kingdom, which is so awesome so you can see where all the rides are. - And the wait times are on the map, right? - The wait times are on your phone too on the map there, so it's actually like, you know, I feel like sometimes maybe, you can find it like a little annoying, how we're all heads down in our phones and detach. - Screenagers, but I would say for Disney, the digital experience, the phone really helped make things just like a lot easier, it was just like easier, you know, you can plan your day out better, so that's a tip too, is bringing yourself that portable charger, I actually did help help someone out, who they asked if they could borrow my charger, and I said yes. - It was not portable, but it was a charger, so if you don't have a portable charger, at least bring a real like a normal charger. 'Cause if you don't, you're honestly screwed. - Yeah, and then there's not very many plugs though, so you gotta go to the restaurant and find it. - Yeah, I'm sure on Reddit, I'm sure on all these Disney blogger places, you can find this information, but it's harder, let's just say they're harder to find than a hidden Mickey. - Hidden Mickey, so he found a hidden Mickey. - I actually did find a real hidden Mickey. Of course, like, I'm Joan of Arc, so I immediately, when I got into Disney, I looked on the ground, and I saw like three dots that were definitely not connected at all, but I posted and said it was a hidden Mickey, because schizophrenic Disney adults parted in my language, that was probably not cool to say, but you know what I mean, like, Disney adults obsessed with the hidden Mickey's just start seeing hidden Mickey's where there are none, and I wanted to emulate that and honor that tradition. Everyone go look at the Wikipedia. page for hidden dick hidden Mickey oh my god what is wrong what is up with you I'm I swear I'm not doing it on purpose hidden something's on his mind I think okay I have dick on my mind oh that's not okay what did you want me to say okay anyways okay so that's a good tip and then the other tip to I would say that is actually quite easy also is to reserve lunch and reserve dinner at those Disney restaurants because yes you can get food without reservations but I thought that both the restaurants we went to for lunch and dinner were super super good and we went for lunch to the BR guest restaurant which is the beauty in the beast theme yes that one's expensive it's expensive but you honestly get a lot of food for what you get a money you get a ton of both restaurants we got a ton of food like that's true more than we could eat I would say the second one we went to which was like this I can't remember what it was called it was like Liberty Square taverns libertarian the libertarian restaurant you'll know the marica themed one yeah it was like all you can eat Thanksgiving food basically which you know if you're in the mood for that that is like if that's what you're in want to eat and I think the price is price was like definitely cheaper than the BR guest and it was all you can eat but the BR guest was probably a better like vibe beyondson the BR guest was $70 a person so there's three of us so that's like you know plus the tip it gets yeah and then you get the drinks and so it's actually close to 100 a person so it's like $300 you know sorry okay it's okay it's be my guest so he paid for my a lot of it for me because he loves me well I've been let's just say I've been saving up for a long time to go crazy at Disney and I certainly did so so be your guest so okay so one thing I will say I'm vegan and both the restaurants we went to had really really good vegan options from appetizer to main course to dessert they had vegan options and the libertarian american teamplace even had vegan bread with the vegan butter and the vegan meatloaf yeah and they had a vegan like like ice cream or whatever the heck the custard dessert thing they had it was an apple cake apple cake vegan so they really not the same thing we asked it's to me it's it's all sugar it's all sugar and crap that's a sugar addict I have different the perspective but yes okay well I know my desserts okay so so the libertarian place was closer to like $50 a person so that's that is significantly cheaper but it's still you know yeah because you're gonna want to get a beer because it's a libertarian place you know what I mean it's gonna they Disney finds ways oh they do they definitely they definitely find ways to yeah so go so make sure you have a lot of money when you go yeah and this is kind of out of order but I do want to add my own two cents here like I do think if you are driving in you you got to do your research on where you're parking and it depends on what park you're going to because there's Epcot there's animal kingdom there's Hollywood studios and then there's magic kingdom we wanted to go to the classic Disney thingy with a Cinderella castle so we went to magic kingdom and magic kingdoms parking situation is a little different you have to go park somewhere pay $30 for parking then you got a get on this like little like it's not like a it's like it's like a golf cart bus kind of vibe like tram I wouldn't call it a tram you know what I mean um you got to go on that and then they kind of shuttle you to this area you have to go through security and then you go which is not doesn't take that long and then you have to go um either you take a ferry or you take the tram and then you have to do that um and then you're finally there but then you have to go through like it's like like show your ticket again so it's like a lot of like it's like a huge production just like getting inside of the park like I would give yourself like honestly like 45 minutes to do that I would say between from the time to park to the time to actually enter the park proper it's an hour I would say yeah yeah because there's literally two vehicles you have to take the no there's three you have to take three vehicles take three no we so we took four vehicles we took the plane to the car to the trot tram to the boat we took four different vehicles to get to the keynote like this is this is more high security yeah then like the TSA is no it's true like it's crazy it's 9 11 post 9 11 American wet dream yeah it's literally a kingdom it is a kingdom maybe it is kingdom so oh can I just say and look again not paid by disney but I have to say disney magic kingdom park design is brilliance okay because I mean to put a imagineer is really they really they did to put a job to put a giant castle in the middle just like right at the center of your park is for is genius on multiple levels one because it looks freaking cool and two as you navigate the park you always have a landmark that you can look and find the castle like oh right now I'm north of the castle and I know that the ride I want to get to is to the west of the castle and I know I just walk this way and I'm there like that is a genius design and is also like beautiful true I did that is definitely something I noticed in general and you know disney adults love love to talk about the imagineers the people behind the animatronics behind the the designs of the parks everything they're notably creative and innovative and what they do and you know I was looking for that because that's all I that's like the main thing I hear about disney is like how innovative and like creative the design is and as someone who pays attention to design in all its forms I was curious you know that sounds so pretentious but it's true no it's true they really do they really put a lot of yeah I could tell like just like how they try to maximize efficiency and also like the not the UI because that's more tech but like you know the experience of the the guest experience you know like they they really think everything through yeah it's like I remember Sophie and I and my sister who is there too we sat down and Sophie was like I would like something cold right now to eat and literally like exactly exactly 20 feet away there was like they were serving like lemonade ice pops does like you know those frozen cups of like minute made yeah those classic and it's like yeah the disney literally just engineered us with that like they they read our mind we were gonna need in that moment so I agree it's true it's just brilliantly designed park brilliant capitalist it's literally the it's literally just like if you're gonna do capitalism this is how you do it the very best you can possibly do it yeah they wanted Walt Disney to become a politician he was like no yeah it's like if we're gonna if we're gonna do the whole like consumerist hell scape thing you know this is how you do it right I feel like I could imagine a world like an alternate alternate universe in which Walt Disney became president you know I mean I I feel like I could totally imagine that happening I would be down well he's dead but you know what I'm just kidding I know that but I will say um how come there wasn't a steamboat willy ride there probably is I mean just don't know oh everyone please ride that carousel of progress if you want to see them crazy the carousel progress was awesome that was so fun low key the most we had disagreements the wisest wisest ride no no okay I'll just say it carousel carousel of progress is not even not only the worst ride it's one of the worst rides I've ever been in my life it's not even a ride though it's literally a 20 minute movie that's boring it's not a movie it's not a movie it's an animatronic variety show okay Sophie in a rotating room how could it not get more epic I will say I will never forget that ride it's a ride I guess it's a ride I don't I don't it's a carousel carousels are rides you move if you sit if you sit down on something and it moves that's a ride you know something that does a bike yeah bike ride yeah bike ride or horse ride or other rides other ride if you sit on something and it moves that's a ride let me look up the definition of ride I think I think we know I think ride I want to win this argument ride definition to sit on oh yes and control I don't control be carried or supported okay but a ride but it's also like see a roller coaster married go round or other amusement written out of it we wrote it I it moved but the thing moved we didn't move or did we know we moved we were on a show it's a show of animatronics showing technological progress and there's a family and there's storylines and you know there's misogyny but you know I'm a history buff so I'm just used to and I'm a woman okay so I'm used to encountering misogyny on the daily okay so like to me I don't know I I feel like I'm the only person on earth who actually enjoyed it but I had I had a lot of fun on there so I I would definitely hit that one first just as a man who doesn't like it as a man who doesn't face misogyny on a daily basis I'll say I didn't like that ride because I didn't like to see misogyny because I just want to pretend it doesn't exist well that's part of the problem maybe Walt Disney was into something there I I enjoyed it I thought is funny I love animatronics so I enjoyed it but yeah you got to check out the the Hall of Presidents if you want to see some president animatronics and there's some there's a funny part with Trump and Biden it's not funny it's actually not funny oh I thought it's funny it's not funny it's sad because Trump was president because Trump was president it's because it's literally a show that's like about how honorable and wonderful and oh I mean it's not I don't think I don't endorse its message like clearly it's like propaganda to the it's it's core like it but I thought it was entertaining and funny to them like because like he has an animatronics like Joseph are Biden Joseph Rubinette's Biden yeah I was like I was like cracking up like I thought it was fun it's not funny to me okay it's not funny it's sad I thought it was amazing I thought it anyways so not this just goes to show that your Disney experience might not be the same everyone has a different experience and so you it seems like you didn't really care for animatronic shows I liked okay in the rides yes but not like the carousel progress and not in what what was out there when we did the Hall of Presidents so here's the thing with the Hall of Presidents okay I so this let me explain my full view on it I feel like the movie of the Hall of Presidents and the animatronics was actually pretty like beautiful and amazing like I thought the animatronics like I just thought it was so cool to see the animatronics of every president you can see like their height they're kind of like physical presence it really like adds like a really important dimension to like imagine that you grew up in the 60s and you were seeing you know Lyndon B Johnson or something on TV or whatever like most of us will never have the opportunity to ever see a president in person yeah you know yeah and I would say the animatronics are pretty high quality some of them better than others but it is pretty incredible just like on a like experiential lately you know I mean just to see it yes but so so the thing is it's like I felt like the exhibit was like clearly Disney put a lot of effort and like emotion and thought into it but it's like ruined by like the current state of like what the presidency is now like I don't know but was it there's only like I feel like there's only a few like very good presidents though there yeah there are there are only a few and yes it's like all propaganda blah blah blah blah and like there's been other really bad presidents besides Trump and Joe Biden whatever but like at least at least like you you know at least you can kind of like get a little bit into like you can just like just you can grasp the illusion a little bit like it's like you know watching a movie you know what I mean like it's like it was so what I'm hearing here is like it failed to lure you into its its spell because you're just so disillusioned with modern politics right now yes that that's fair I didn't take it so seriously because I knew I was at Disney and I was watching animatronics sorry that's that that sounded like shade I didn't mean it to be shady I just meant like I was going in expecting to laugh what I what I want well I think the the people who made it really took it seriously that is like like Disney Disney clearly really took this like like when Disney was making this hall of presidents like it was a passion project like he clearly that's true even though it was coming from like an insane like you know propaganda political ideology whatever you want to say yeah it's like it's it's just like I appreciate art even if I don't agree with it and I feel like this was like a real piece of passionate art that like I couldn't even appreciate like I mean at all like you know it's one thing to go to a piece of art and be like that was beautiful even though I disagree with it this was like I can't even say it's beautiful it's just like a joke now you know what I mean well that's kind of how I saw it but I don't I guess I didn't get too depressed by it but I know what you mean and I feel like also what you you mentioned like Disney like Walt Disney's passion project they literally call it that essentially yeah in the beginning and they also say the same thing about like hall of pr-- not hall of pr-- we'll carry some progress yeah and it seems like there's a portion of Disney that's kind of dedicated to upholding the legacy of Walt Disney's like passion projects even though they're kind of outdated and not like relevant or like they probably don't really appeal to many people maybe they do like I'm speaking specifically about more specifically about carousel progress that is the end of this episode's preview if you want to hear the rest of this episode get access to all of our patreon content and most importantly support our show head over to patreon.com/basinusnowark and join us for five dollars a month we really appreciate the support thanks for listening see you next episode