The DraftKing's Speech

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Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live from Hollywood. I'm John Lovett, and much like Odysseus, I just want to get home and fuck my wife. And we've got a great show for you tonight, but first, let's get into it. What a week. We're at war with Iran. ISIS shooting people in the street. The Midwest is blanketed in a thick layer of wildfire smoke and diarrhea. But once in a while, there is a glimmer of hope. This week, the House passed the Sunshine Protection Act, which would make daylight saving time permanent. The oven clock would be correct forever. You would never again need to Google how to set clock Toyota Corolla, or in my case, how to set a clock. Set clock. Much more expensive car. That I hate. I hate it. Trump supports the change, declaring on True Social in May that I am going to work very hard to see the Sunshine Protection Act signed into law. There are very few areas of agreement between me and Donald Trump. Diet Coke is good. Paper straws are bad. Democrats are annoying. Jews are smart. Jeffrey Epstein was murdered. And now this. 19 states have passed legislation to adopt year-round daylight saving time if Congress ever stops clock-blocking them. However, I've been on the permanent daylight saving time beat for a while now, and things aren't as simple as they appear, or as boring. Please do not click away. For one thing, saving is actually a misnomer. As scientists agree, that salvation only comes through Jesus Christ. Also, we've tried this before. In 1973, Congress actually passed, and President Richard Nixon signed a law to switch to permanent daylight savings time. The switch was supported by more than two-thirds of Americans at the time, and then we experienced it. In much of the country, the sun would rise. Well after 8 a.m., sunrise in states like Ohio and Michigan would be at 9 a.m. or later. Pretty tough. Imagine having your morning explosive diarrhea in the pitch black. The news was filled at the time with images of children fumbling to school on dangerous, unlit roads, and that was unacceptable. Children should never be unsafe on their way to school in America, only once they get to school. The experiment was meant to last two years, but Congress repealed it before the following winter. It was a blackmail. It was a blackmark on an otherwise stellar record of Richard Nixon. The good news is, according to the bill the House just passed, states could choose permanent standard time, and states like Michigan would benefit from being on standard time even in summer. Today's sunset in Detroit is 9 p.m., and it sucks when it's light out so late. It makes it harder to see the two screens you watch at the same time from dinner, so you force yourself to plug in your phone and squeeze your eyes shut as you think about the last three videos you saw, a recipe, a joke, and a murder, and wonder why you're. always so anxious and tired. Speaking of people who always seem anxious and tired, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer took to the Senate floor to rail against the disastrous war with Iran, and in the process, caused a bit of a gas crisis of his own. Now on Iran and the NDAA. When all the Trump administration can say about his disastrous war with Iran is that Vietnam was worse? Did you hear that? Let's play it one more time, just in case you missed it. That's one bomb we won't be sending to Israel. A lesson for us all. You can get away with literally anything when you're hot. But this wasn't the most grotesque discovery in the Senate this week, and I'm not even talking about what they found when they cleaned out Lindsey Graham's desk. The Senate Judiciary Committee questioned Trump's pick for Director of National Intelligence, Jay Clayton, leading to a vote in the Senate. And leading to this confrontation with Georgia Senator and guy who is younger than me, Jon Ossoff. Who won the 2020 election? You know, I'm not going to do this with you. This is a job interview. We've established that you have an obligation to be honest and forthright with the committee. Yes, you do have an obligation to be honest and forthright with the committee. Yes. Like I said, I'm not going to get into that with you. I'm not going to engage in the theater. It's a simple question. It's a simple question, Mr. Clayton. And I've answered it. Who won the 2020 presidential election? I've answered it. Imagine sitting down at a job interview, and they say, what's your biggest strength and biggest weakness? And you're like, I'm not going to get into that with you. And then you get the job anyway because your dads are friends. Clayton continued to evade that question when talking to Senator and guy with a cool name for a cowboy, Angus King. I've answered that question. I'm not going to get into that. You have not answered that question. Could you answer the question? Pretty simple question. Yeah, I said I'm going to give you the same answer. The answer to the chairman was he asked me if I was an election denier. I am not an election denier. Joe Biden was certified as the president. No, we all know Joe Biden. I'm just asking a really simple question. As I said to you, we went through our processes, and Joe Biden became the president of the United States. How is he going to win the 2020 election? How is he not an election denier? I haven't seen denial this obvious since Chuck Schumer tried to blame the dog. The committee also heard from the president's attorney general nominee, Todd Blanche, who currently serves as acting AG and previously served as Trump's personal attorney. It was pressed by Republican Tom Tillis on whether he would meet with Epstein's victims. I expect that meeting to occur before I'm willing to vote out of this committee. And I'm trying to get to yes, but this is a very important part of getting to yes. Ew, and here are their gross sad stories. No thanks, said Blanche. This is actually a massive cave by Tillis, who is now, quote, trying to get to yes, but previously said this about voting for Blanche. If there's even a whiff of a lack of independence, then that could influence my vote. Unfortunately, it's hard to get a whiff of anything other than fart when Schumer's been in the room. But here's Blanche talking to Senator Chris Coons. Is the Department of Justice that you are running independent from the White House? The Department of Justice, like every single department in the executive, is part of the executive. I mean, Article 2 of the Constitution gives the power of the executive to President Trump. More than a whiff to me, kind of a stench. And when asked if Trump is eligible to run for a third term, Blanche said no, but it wasn't exactly an emphatic no. Is President Trump, just as a simple matter of constitutional law, eligible to run for another term as president in 2028? I don't believe he is, no. That is a question that should have a more confident answer. Than someone at the grocery store going, I don't think we have chickpeas at home. Of course Blanche isn't independent. That's why he was chosen. That's like asking Oddjob if he's willing to stand up to Goldfinger. He's not. He's going to guard the bomb at Fort Knox until the bitter fucking end. You know, they were right. I knew. But Oddjob is a good comparison. But we're not all kind of swimming in the plot of Goldfinger. We don't remember that Pussy Galore did the right thing in the end. But on the other hand, Goldfinger does go thump out of that airplane window. So something to think about that. Thump. And it's as if Trump is daring people like Tillis to vote no on Thursday. Trump gave a primetime address to spread 2020 election conspiracy theories. At least we think he did. The speech is happening as we are recording this episode. Trump is reportedly claiming as we speak that China interfered in the 2020 election, which took place when Trump was president. And he lost. But then it's like, did China get logged out in 2024 when Joe Biden was president and Trump won? And who can even remember the 2020 election? Joe Biden can't. So why should we? Every member of Trump's cabinet is a complete and total stooge. Treasury Secretary Scott Besant announced on Wednesday that the Treasury will begin striking a new gold coin with Trump's face on it in honor of the 250th. Hear me out, though. A dollar coin is the perfect thing to have Trump's face on. It is a useless annoyance that weighs you down and feels like a relic. from another era and your uncle loved loves it. Not only is the coin ugly, it's arguably illegal by law and tradition. Only deceased people appear on U.S. currency. So why don't we just show a little patience and wait for what's wrong with his hand to become what's wrong with his everything? A Fox reporter asked Trump for his thoughts on the coin. Your face is now going to be on a coin, it looks like, from the Treasury Department. Yes. What do you think about that? It's very honored. It's cute. Not a bad picture, but it's very cute. They gave me a coin. That's very unusual from what I understand. A gold coin. Yeah, a gold coin and a silver coin. It was very unusual, but I was honored by it. This has the energy of someone pretending to be surprised at a surprise party they planned for themselves. When my sister was pregnant, she wanted to do a gender reveal party. And so she ordered a gender reveal cake. And when she went to pick up the cake, they handed her the cake and they said, one gender reveal cake, white on the outside, blue on the inside. Trump renamed the Institute of Peace after himself. He tried and failed to add his name to the Kennedy Center. He launched Trump accounts and Trump Rx, stuck his face on the National Park passes in a version of the US passport. The Navy is planning to build a set of Trump class battleships. He hung his portrait on banners outside the Department of Justice. And Palm Beach Airport has been officially renamed Trump International Airport with the airport code DJT. If I wanted to see Trump's name that many times, I would just read the Epstein files. And speaking of corrupt Trump devotees, on Thursday, we learned that Trump's longtime teleprompter operator has been betting on what Trump will say in his speeches. It was the perfect crime until he flew too close to the sun and tried to get Trump to say he actually likes the colorblind casting in the Odyssey. Raised suspicions. Federal investigators in cooperation with Calche found that Gabriel Perez, who has held the position since 2016, has made over $100,000 on these bets. Hot take. That is not enough. He should have made a lot more. That is a fucking easy crime. Are you kidding me? A hundred thousand? That's it? You're his teleprompter operator and you're betting on what's in the speeches? Are you fucking kidding me? That's insane. But of course, this kind of thing is happening more and more. I heard that one of Schumer's staffers bet on a certain outcome of his speech after seeing the minority leader take down a full pint of egg salad for lunch. That was the last one. We're out. That was the last one about the Schumer fart. Perez would ask for more. Perez would allegedly bet on certain words or topics that Trump might mention. In some cases, he would then back out of the wagers mid-speech if Trump started to stray from the prepared remarks. Though that does explain that one speech where Trump said out of nowhere, fuck man, please say sharks. You gotta talk about sharks. Fuck. I put $15,000 on sharks. Please, my wife's gonna be so mad. All right, we've got a great show for you tonight. And we'll be right back with Des Bishop. Hey, don't go anywhere. 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You can see the whole city. It sucks. So we got blinds to cover it up because it gets super sunny and hot in there. And now it's awesome because it's dark. We might as well be in the basement. The point is get some blinds right now. Blinds.com is giving our listeners an exclusive $50 off when you spend $500 or more. Just use code love at a checkout. Limited time offer. Rules and restrictions apply. See blinds.com for details. And we're back. We'll have Des Bishop out in just a moment. But first, thank you to everyone who's a friend of the pod. If you are not, election season is ramping up and there's never been a better time to join. When you become a friend of the pod subscriber, you get ad-free episodes of your favorite pods. You get more pods of America, including only one. So if you're a friend of the pod, you get the open tabs newsletter. You get Dan Pfeiffer's Polar Coaster. You get a discounted ticket to all day CrookedCon and a lot more. So please go to crooked.com slash friends. Become a friend of the pod. You get great stuff and it helps support a pro-democracy media outlet that's trying to get good information to more people. And if you are in the LA area, you can still get tickets at crooked.com slash events to check out our new studio and upcoming guests, including actor Patrick Renna from The Sandlot, comedian W. Kamau Bell, Ted Lasso's Brendan Hunt, and new queer cinema filmmaker, Greg Araki. All right. He's played stages all around the world, but most importantly, this one, it's the hilarious Des Bishop. All right. Thank you. Hi, good to see you. Thanks for being here. Good to meet you too. Awesome. What's up? How you doing? Great. This is very exciting for me. Is it? No, yes, it is. I love Pod Save America. Wow. And I subscribe to the thing because I wanted to hear something one day, I was like, you had to subscribe. So I subscribed. Got him. And you got me and I haven't unsubscribed and I like Polar Coaster and I'm happy to be here. So. Well, it's great to me. I'm a big fan of yours. Oh, I really am. And I was thinking about, cause I see a lot of your clips and you had this extraordinary experience of, so you, you have lived in obviously the U S but also in Ireland and China. And I think it brings you an unusual perspective that allows you to make fun of people in a way only you can. I think you make fun of people in a way that is not, no one else could do. I mean, I guess, uh, the Irish thing was basically two thirds of my life. The Chinese thing was like a two year kind of experience. So the Irish experience was basically like almost all of my identity, but the Chinese thing was a small but very impactful experience. But I, but I do think that coming back to the States, cause you know, I went to Ireland when I was 14, you know, and now I'm back in the States performing here. And I do feel that that has given me a sense of why you would think that because I've taken all those experience and now I've Americanified it in a way that I think you identified with. And so you, if I, do I understand that you were, uh, uh, started drinking as a teen? Well, that's, that's, that's a joke that is true. And then just, I, I, I had a problem with alcohol, got kicked out of school. So my parents sent me to Ireland to go to boarding school. Right. That's not even a punchline, but it works as one. Yeah. Just sort of like if of all the places in the world to say, Oh, you're having problems with alcohol. I know we're going to send you. The joke I say is that they saw the potential in my alcoholism and they thought, let's make him the best one he can possibly be. We'll send him to the premier league, you know? And then, but it's not, of course it's not true. Cause I stopped. I actually, would you believe I'm 31 years sober today, which is just a coincidence. It's just a, just a coincidence. So, so I stopped drinking at 19. So we joke about the stereotype, but my life is actually in contradiction to the stereotype because I lived most of my life sober in Ireland, very comfortably and had a comfortable life of sobriety there. So that busts the stereotype. Yeah. But that's not fun. Stereotype is so boring. Stereotypes are so, stereotypes are hilarious. There's one thing I think, I think stereotypes are the funniest. They are. Stereotypes are funny. And when you, when you do them in the right way and in the right spirit, it's great. And when you do it, you know, in the kill Tony spirit, it's not great. Not as good. Yeah. Yeah. And now you, you do live in China for a time and you speak Mandarin. Yes. Is it a superpower to look like you? God, the people must really, you know, it must really come as a shock when you break out the Mandarin amongst people in China. Yes. And when I first went there in 2004, just like for a holiday, uh, it was much more like, wow, tall white dude. And my girlfriend of the time was blonde and there was a lot of like, can we get a picture just for you being you but actually by the time I did the project that I did which was a one-year documentary series about trying to learn enough manner to do stand-up in Mandarin right so then I was living there full-time by then you know China had become quite a bit more international so there wasn't the same level of excitement however there was still a lot of admiration for the law why the foreigners that could speak Mandarin but what the mistake that I made which I've realized now is that I didn't realize that in the western world some creators were going to get humongous followings by shocking Chinese people in the states with like their good Chinese like shout out to Xiaoma NYC who's like humongous on the internet and in fairness what he does is great but I never I never thought about doing it like over here other than my friends get such a kick out of it when I order in Chinese at a Chinese restaurant and the Chinese are like oh my god you're Chinese or something like that and I'm like oh my god you're Chinese or something like that and I'm like oh my god you're Chinese or something like that and I'm like oh my god you're Chinese or like but I didn't monetize it which is and that's a shame that is a shame you know I just want to say that I am just I'm honestly I can barely look at you I'm disgusted you had a monetization opportunity you left on the fucking ground you know if I was in if I was in a monetization positive atmosphere like the crooked media space I would have never I would have never missed that opportunity I'm sorry we use the word sustainable a sustainable business no listen every joke that I say about you guys comes from complete admiration but what I will also say is that you know I was making this series for Irish TV I had a mission right I had already done a language learning thing before but what I didn't expect was that the English language material that I would write about my experience in China about being a fish out of water about the language stuff even some jokes literally about learning Chinese I didn't realize how much they would resonate when I came back to the States in fact that was almost like my bridge back to performing in America because I've always been an American comedian in Ireland the bridge back was like how much American audiences were eating up my Asian experience well I think that that speaks to how China looms in our culture you know that was what motivated me to want to do it in the first place yeah like that because you know you'll see it even there'll be ads on television saying we can't regulate AI because China will win the slop wars you know uh and uh having lived there like what when you see politicians turn China into the kind of super enemy that's the reason we can't say kind of have uh slow down AI in the U.S. or we have to do all these other things what is your what is your experience of that well that's more like when I when I initially pitched my idea was 2008 I had done this Irish language I learned the Irish language and I had made a series about learning the language but and I always had a fascination with wanting to learn Mandarin so the Beijing Olympics was about to happen and the world was really focused on China but in very much a way of like what's going on over there they're rising economically they're rising like militarily what's going on over there so I felt everyone just wanted to see like how fast it was growing but I wanted to tell the story of the Chinese people because the focus was always on the politics and the economy and I found the people to be quite fascinating so I wanted to tell that story the more like proper Chinese enemy story has been more of a recent phenomenon but on the the West not just the U.S. used to push back more against Chinese human rights infringements so now we're worried about them taking over the world but we're not worried about how much they oppress certain percentages of their population so it's kind of frustrating in a way that now it's just like us versus them as opposed to let's maintain the relationship but keep the pressure on them to actually stop doing the bad shit they do but it gets harder to have the moral high ground when we seem to be able to do the right thing and we seem to be able to do the right thing and we seem to be becoming more like China yeah one of my jokes is always when I went to China which apparently it's like an old Russian joke but a Chinese comedian had given it to me you know they said why would you go to China to do stand-up there's so much censorship you can't say anything there but I say no it's not that different comedy in America comedy in China it's similar in America you can make fun of the American government and in China you can make fun of the American government it's the same but like then the Jimmy Kimmel thing happened and suddenly I was like this fucking joke has about six months left and it's shot yeah man that sucks to hear yeah yeah but no but but what I will say is because obviously we talk a lot about free speech in America and it you know there was a time where the right felt like they were coming hard with the censorship was coming hard on them now it feels the other way that like the government itself is actually government censorship's creeping into America and all those fears I actually think a lot of those fears from both sides at times felt a bit valid but they were never truly valid because everyone they they were being denied speech in one space but they always had the freedom to find another space and they were never truly valid because everyone they they had the freedom to find another space yes like sometimes people will say a book has been banned but a book is not banned if you can't get it in a certain store or library for example 100 right so we still had free speech we just we were you know some people are being censored in certain spaces whereas in China you I you truly didn't have that and I performed in a place where to do a live performance you're actually supposed to officially apply to the censor to do it legally now we did loads of illegal ones but it sounds more dramatic than it was they were just too small for anyone to care but then what happened since I left I was like I'm gonna do it again I'm gonna do it again in 2015 because I stayed for an extra year because I loved it so much like stand-up as we know it was pretty new then but after I left and nothing to do with me stand-up really kind of exploded there because online content really exploded in China and in some ways they were kind of like pioneers because their tv was so censored that their online content actually blew up earlier than here like they were doing what what became what we would say like influencer stuff like before we were because they kind of were forced but then the internet got too popular so they were forced to they cracked down on that too anyway long story short now stand-up's really popular so now you can't even do the the little shows we were doing because they cracked down on those too so and then the other direction what was what did you find was the expectations around America and Americans when you would be doing stand-up like what what were the in the same way that China looms for America how does America loom for the Chinese people you were meeting you know like it's you know so culturally they were very positive about America heavily influenced by not just culture sport the NBA so culturally very positive towards America but obviously like governmentally they did feel that America misunderstood China you know they they were soaking up the the propaganda uh and the joke always is in China is like the the nightly news every night is the government is you know doing their job for you the allow by seeing the everyday people are working hard and the west is a mess and like literally was that every day so like they were just like critical of the American government they didn't like the fact that America only focused on Chinese human rights stuff that was like an issue for them but culturally they were very positive about America I would be remiss if I didn't play a clip of you on a Chinese dating show and we do yeah I'm curious which one you picked actually I actually did two of them would you believe that's good so just for people listening uh that was one year of Chinese the potential date says I don't think we're a good fit you're only six years younger than my parents yes and uh so I said is your mother hot which well in actual fact if you translate it to directly I said is your mother beautiful but I just think that the the it was quite crass for me to ask that question but I think in English the crassness of it wouldn't translate if I said beautiful but that's a whole other world of comedy translation but but listen I'm not blowing my own trumpet but the the mission was to do stand up in Mandarin but the thing is stand up you know you can figure out those bitch can learn them whereas I was on this dating show fully Mandarin dating show so I had to just like go with the flow and I that I consider to be my real achievement because that was literally after 12 months of learning Mandarin and I was like this is cool I am like riffing on Chinese TV so I was pretty happy with that was there any other uh is there any other example of the translation being about this the the nuance of a translation being interesting of like trying to get an idea from a joke from English into Mandarin it's very hard and in actual fact I very rarely did that because so often it's either the language order or just particularly say it's easier for me to explain it going backwards I had a lot of jokes in Mandarin that were about me misunderstanding something but when I try to translate those jokes back in English I have to give away the punchline to let the audience know why the person was confused do you get what I'm saying and stuff like that happens all the time so most of my Mandarin stuff I just wrote in Mandarin or it was like fish out of water experiences like stories are easier to do than like joke jokes so anything that's like a joke joke that I had in English for me personally almost impossible to translate but some of the stuff works in both languages because it's stories like I can tell my joke about the fact that my last name that I picked in Chinese if you mispronounce it it means cunt right I - I apologize. - No, no, it's okay. So I can tell that joke in English, and I can tell it in Chinese. However, the punchline in Mandarin isn't me saying what it means. It's giving the scenario of their reaction when I say it, because the minute I say it, they know. You know what I'm saying? Because they're hearing the mispronunciation. So it's the same joke, but two different ways to tell it. That's so interesting. Now, you've performed all over the world, but this is America, so we need to know which place is best in a segment we're calling Best Country for Old Men. Here's how it works. I'm going to give you a category, for example, best noodles, and you'll tell us which country has the best, the U.S., Ireland, or China. Is that the first question? Sure. I mean, come on. It's China. Yeah, I figured it would be China. 100%. However, the Chinese food in the United States, the standards are, like, off the charts up these days. Really? Well, definitely in the coastal cities, I think the standards are very high. That's good to know. That's good to know. We also have a sound effect for each country. Here's the USA. Here's Ireland. And we went conservative with China. The People's Republic of China. Were you afraid of offending somebody? We were afraid of being racist. We were afraid of being racist, so we just did that. We couldn't think of anything. We were like, you know what? We're not going to bet it all on this fucking bit, you know? We're going to throw it all away for this little interstitial segment? No. No. That's not what we're going to do. Claudia said that. If you heard at the end, she says that China in Mandarin, so we did the best we could. Okay, first up, best hangover food. Oh, Ireland. By necessity. Right, right. It's sort of, yeah. Best place to date. Oh, America. Irish people were actually resistant to dating for so long. The concept to them was so American. It's sort of the Catholicism kind of running through the blood. The culture has changed now, but definitely America is good for dating because they have rules and they understand. They understand it and it's just better. I didn't think of it as an American export. Best hecklers. Oh, Ireland, without a doubt. Okay. I don't think we've thought through how many times we've been hearing these. Best place to cry in public. Oh, best place to cry. I feel like America is because in America, somebody might be inclined to be like, are you okay? Yeah. You know? Whereas in Ireland, they'd be like, well, you fucking get over yourself. Which, you know, they're probably right in a way. Best curse word. Oh, shit. Shabby China. It means stupid cunt. Sorry. Wait, say it again. Shabby. That's cool. Sounds good. I think it's the tonal language. By the way, I'm aware that in the United States, the C word has a lot more power, and I know I'm flippantly checking it out throughout the show, but I want to point out that that's what it does mean in Chinese, but also in Ireland, it does not have that power. So I can be over-casual with it, so I apologize. Don't apologize to me. I don't care. I'm a man. But I'm aware that some people might be hearing it and think it's a bit strong. Now, you have a new special, Bridge and Tunnel. It's on your YouTube channel, and you can go to desbishop.net for your tour dates. Now, the new special is more about the Irish-Italian battles from Queens. That's a part of it. You know, because most of my career is in Ireland, I never really was able to indulge in, like, my childhood, because the first 14 years of my life was a very, like, New York, multi-ethnic kind of upbringing. Irish people don't really identify with that. So this was the beginning of me exploring a part of myself, and it's been quite fun to be able to perform, particularly in the big cities in America. They really can identify with that stuff. But that's only part of it. There's, like, a nostalgia section, a New York section, some more Chinese stuff, some dirty stuff, and a little bit of wokey stuff. Oh, good. Yeah, I mean, I'm a pretty woke guy. I don't get supported by the people that love woke shit, but I will not grift like a lot of my compadres in the business. You will? So there's two. Are you being grifted against woke? Being anti-woke? Yeah, I won't go against who I am, because I know that that's where the older white dudes are hanging. Right, right, right, yeah. Hanging their dollars out for my mag-a-thong. So I'm not out there trying to get that dollar like a lot of my guys did. Well, I do think it's something that does happen. I do, like, there's kind of a fork at the road for comedians. It happens in, like, the mid-40s, maybe, where they can keep being curious and interested in learning and being curious about it. Or they can just sink into it, you know? Just sink into being mad and a little bit grumpy and sort of the kids these days. And do you see, it's a smoother ride on that. It's the smoother path over there. 100%. And in stand-up terms, it's really, like, the adoration that comes from the aggrieved older people. It's hard. It sucks them in, you know? Whereas I like to sort of, like, gently, rib them in a way where I don't put them off, but I just, like, try. I always say that it's my, I'm naive, because I still have a lot of MAGA friends. I have this naive belief that I can turn them like a 60-year-old gay guy thinks he can turn a 21-year-old straight guy in his head. Yeah, yeah, for sure. That's my, like, MAGA, you know? Like, when I'm playing golf with my MAGA friends, I think I'll just, I'll slowly get them to come over to my side. Well, but I, like, but that's what I mean about you have, like, a point of view. That I think is unique, because you're able to, I think that, I get why you think that, I get that, because there's a way in which you're making fun of people, and sometimes on stereotypes and on all of it, but it's from a place of love and from a kind of cosmopolitan point of view. So it's almost like you're tricking them. That's the try. That's the try. Like, for example, you know, it's such a weird thing, because I, by the way, I firmly believe that you should remain friends with your MAGA friends. And I said that in a bit once, and I got, tons, I got a lot of anger at me for saying that. And I just don't know what we gain by turning your back on these, particularly the ones I, by the way, it upsets me that they haven't seen what we've seen and been like enough. It does upset me, but I'm not sure what you gain by leaving them completely, because you hope at some stage there might be one thing, one insane act, and then you'll be there for them. Well, so I think that's the thing. I think there's three things. All right. I think there's what you should do, what you want to do, and what doing it can achieve. Right. And I think they're different. Right. What you should do. I think, like, if you're thinking about, like, what's in the best interest of the world, biting your tongue and being available, being a presence, keeping that connection, being a source of better information, I think that makes sense. Yes. Then there's, but then there's also just what you can tolerate. What you can tolerate. And I do think part of it. By the way, I don't hang out with anyone who's openly, of course, but I think there's something about, even if you know someone has continued to be supportive of what's happening, then that speaks to something, kind of a deep moral difference. And A, it's hard not to be upset about that. And then B, it's hard to pretend, because if someone supports Trump right now, and they just want to laugh and yuck it up and have a good time, it is asking you, like, don't bring up that, boy, you certainly don't mind who's, you know, working at this restaurant. Boy, you certainly want to just pretend like you're a happy-go-lucky person, but wouldn't do the terrible, aren't complicit in the terrible things that are happening. You have to, you are kind of, there's a way in which not, you know, there's, it's, on the one hand, yes, you're kind of staying available. On the other hand, you're kind of giving up on, you have to, you have to lie a little bit just by being. To yourself. Yes, I think so. Or just, you know, or to them, or just about the situation, you have to ignore something important. You have to ignore something. Yeah. 100%. And then there's what can, what can come of it, right? Which is, you know, how do you get them, we're really not doing that great a job. People got to want to come back. What I have them now is being dissatisfied with the obvious things. Yeah. That's good. That's where they're at. But you know what they still say? But it's still better than Kamala. And I'm like, I don't hold back. I'm like, you fucking think so? This like experienced, incredibly intelligent, intelligent person versus this buffoon doing everything he said he wouldn't do. There's a, well. Then it gets heated. Then it gets heated. And then it gets foggy. But that's what's handy about being six foot three. That's cool. That's what's cool to be six foot three. I'm five foot nothing. And we'll be right back. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Cook Unity. I love Cook Unity. I ate a Cook Unity today. Today I had a Cook Unity. It was a chicken cutlet on some sort of, I think it was called a porcini. Porcini, fettuccine, which is obviously rhymes, but also delicious. It was a high protein breakfast, a big meal. I sometimes like I go to the gym and I'll come home and I know that I'm going to have a bunch of stuff right in a row. I eat up basically a dinner for breakfast and I love it. That sounds great. What was it called? That sounds like the Italian AI slop. No, it isn't. It isn't Italian AI slop. It's human made delicious food. It was, I think it was called chicken fettuccine porcini, but that's not right. Was it the TikTok thing? It was like cappuccino Villanova or something. The yelling cup. This is not that. This is delicious cuisine. Oh, yesterday I had a Greek yogurt bowl. That was excellent. Cook Unity is the first chef led meal delivery service that makes your meals in small batches inside local micro kitchens across the US, not factories. So every dish arrives with the kind of freshness you'd get at the restaurant itself. Meals from Michelin starred chefs, James Beard winners and Food Network stars. Go to cookunity.com slash lowly or use code lowly before checkout for 50% off your first week. The food tastes like someone just made it for you because they did in small batches that morning. There are hundreds of dishes to choose from. It's an incredible. variety of options. The menu features 10 different dietary preferences and over 25 million global cuisines, and it's updated constantly. Ballerina cappuccino. Oh, that's what it was. That's what. I really do genuinely love CookUnity. I have, sometimes I have four meals at a time or six meals at a time come, depending on the week. But the idea is that, like, you have those four meals, and if you're busy, you get home, you can just make something rather than cooking if you don't have time or ordering something in that's going to be worse and more expensive. So I highly recommend it. Taste what happens when real award-winning chefs make fresh, small-batch meals just for you. Go to CookUnity.com slash lowly or enter code lowly before checkout to get 50% off your first order. That's 50% off your first order by using code L-O-L-I or going to CookUnity.com slash lowly. Hey, it's Jon. Last year, 2,500 people joined us at CrookedCon for conversations with some of the smartest organizers, least annoying politicians, and most interesting voices in politics about how to fix this mess. We're doing it again November 5th through the 7th in Washington, D.C. There's even more podcast panels and workshops. Plus, there will be drinks, which we'll need after. For the midterms, no matter which way they go, get your tickets at CrookedCon.com, where we'll also announce the lineup. If you're a Friends of the Pod subscriber, a limited number of discounted tickets are still available. Get them before they run out. See you at CrookedCon. Picture this. The band is playing. That Myrtle moment. And we're back! Yay! Please welcome to the stage, he's in The Bear, he's in Never Change, he's hilarious. Please welcome, Carmen Christopher! Hi, good to see you. Come on in. Thanks for having me. What's up, man? Hi! What's up? It's good to meet you. You guys bummed? You thought Jeremy Allen White was going to walk out here? Sorry! No, we didn't want him. We wanted you. Thanks, man. We said no. We said no. Appreciate it. We don't want that. We don't want that. We don't want that guy. You don't want that Calvin Klein model? Yeah, we don't need that energy up in here. Up in here? Well, you guys, I heard you guys go crazy. You've been sober for 31 years? Yes. I've been drinking for 27 years. Wow. How come people don't clap for that? Yeah, we admire that, too. Yeah. Well, you know, I've gotten booed before for saying my sober date, so, you know, it's not always a win. Well, I'm just saying, like, you know. Who's booing you for that? In Ireland. But anyway. I want to start, just, you've been making these. I think a lot of people may have seen you on social media because you made these videos reviewing Los Angeles establishments. I just want to show one of those clips. Check out these hidden gems in Highland Park. Nah, I'm done gatekeeping. The best authentic Mexican taqueria in Highland Park is Homestay. This is real L.A. street food. Nothing says tacos like brisket. I wanted to try a legit Oaxacan beer, so I ordered the Shiner Bach to wash down these Tijuana Panthers. It's my lunch break. Please don't tell my boss at Allbirds. I've been gatekeeping. This next hole in the wall for far too long. Mendocino Farms. If you get Homestay and Mendo back-to-back and say the secret password culture, you get $8 off Jenny's ice cream. Tell them Mendo sent you. The Homestay to Mendo to Jenny's pipeline is about to go stupid, twin, so tip well. Have you seen how many people have been ripping this off? Yes. It's crazy. This is why I wanted to talk to you about it. Wait, I'm actually. That's crazy that you brought that up. Somebody else. People keep DMing me the people that are ripping and mocking. I'm like, I don't want to watch this shit. I'm infuriated. Yeah. Because there are. There are people just. They're doing this bit, and it's almost becoming its own genre of all these people ripping you off. It's crazy, and they're doing. So I think to just talk about the bit is I was basically just making fun of influencers and making fun of. Because I lived in Highland Park, and it was sad to see Jenny's ice cream, and people say that Homestay is the best tacos. Homestay's trash, in my opinion. Although I actually ate there today, unfortunately. Somebody asked me to get breakfast, and I was like, sure, it's right there. They picked it. They picked it, and I'm not going to not eat, so I ate it. But then also, it's like Mendocino Farms. It's actually not bad, but it's just these establishments in this cool neighborhood, and I was like. So I'm making fun of influencers, and I'm making fun of these commercial businesses that usually ruin neighborhoods. But so then what has happened is there's people that are doing not funny versions of it and just being very. There's no satire. It's just direct, like, this place sucks. This place sucks. This place sucks. There's no joke behind it. And then their video. My video does, like, twice as well as mine. Yeah. It's outrageous. It's crazy. I hate it. Thank you. But you have to keep doing it, though. That's the thing. But I don't want to. I literally. I did it to, like, promote a show. It's like an idea. Like, I get an idea, and I'm like, I do the idea. I hope it comes out well, and then I want to do the next idea. Like, I don't. This is what's interesting about social media now is, like, people have one thing, and it pops off, and it becomes their whole identity. I'm not interested in that, and they have to keep doing that. And then they become. They become trapped, and it's like, I don't like being viewed as doing one thing. I like to be. I like to be known as being able to do multiple things, and I just would hate to be the food reviewer guy. That's. I hate that. That's not what I want to do. I'm making fun of it. Yeah. Well, it's funny. Well, I do think that in the. People that click on. They land on the one thing that's working, and they keep doing it, and they keep doing it, and maybe it'll work for a while, but that's a brittle kind of success versus finding new ways of. Trying to do new and funny and interesting things, some of which don't work and don't get this. Don't get the same views who cares. Right. I guess. You know, our David Portnoy, he's nearly a billionaire for doing pizza reviews. I know. Well, that's. Have you thought about doing that? You could be a billionaire. I do. I do. Doing pizza. I think, like, I went to. You know, I went to college, and I was a business major, and I was a marketing major, and I do. There are things that I see that I could do in my career that could make me way more successful than what I am, but after college, I worked in sales for eight years, and I made decent money. You know, I don't come from money. My family's very, like, working class. Barely anybody went to high school. Graduated high school, so I was the first one to go to college, and, you know, there's, like, these aspects of, like, I could just make money and be rich, but I already. You know, I did sales, and I wasn't happy, so to me, it's really about. It really is, like, as lame as it sounds, it is about, like, making the art and doing something I'm, like, excited about. If all of a sudden I'm just doing food review fucking videos, then it's, like, I'm punching in and out. Like, that doesn't. That doesn't excite me. You know what I mean? Yeah. Sorry, this was supposed to be fun. No, it is fun. We're gonna. This part of it is having serious moments where we get into it, and I like that, too. And people like that, too. Yeah, I'm. That's. I'm really. I did not. Because you guys don't know this, but they kind of. I didn't know you were gonna talk about this, but somebody kept. Was bringing this up the other day, and I was like, it pisses me. People. This actually does piss me off, that social media has become this thing where it's, like, if somebody does an idea and somebody else likes it, they just do the idea. Mm-hmm. That seems crazy to me. Yeah. Like, I don't. Well, they're not. Yeah. They don't respect the thing. Yeah. Like, you're not putting a twist on it or anything, or, like, being inspired to do your own thing from it. Well, this is. I feel like that's what we should be doing, right? Yes. Well, I think sometimes people say, you know, ugh, AI is terrible, look at all this slop, and I agree. But I think a harder question is, wait, did we accidentally build a system in which semi-true. Like, kind of copycat, boring, empty words, if you create enough of it, you can, like, make money off of it? Yeah. Like, we built in a. We created value for the AI slop, right? The reason people are creating AI slop is because there's money to be made in AI slop, because we built these sort of. These algorithmic systems that reward the kind of, like, you know, trashy, repetitive nonsense. Right, right. And so people grab. That, to me, is the thing. And so when, like, when. It's like, what are those people doing that are taking what you did and just doing their own version? They're kind of being AI, you know? Whoa. They're just being. They're being human AI. Should we find all their accounts and go, you are AI? Let's go to their houses. You are AI. You know, also, there's no professional repercussions for stealing from you. Like, you can just steal now. Like, fucking when Carlos Mencia was stealing George Lopez's shit, George Lopez hung his ass over a balcony and tried to kill him. But he. Let's bring that back. No, but he was also ostracized. He was. He was ostracized by the comedy community. Yeah, and you can't ostracize an account. Let's bring back almost killing people. No, I'm joking. No, I'm joking. He's kidding. Guys, he's kidding. I'm kidding. He's kidding about it. It's a comedy show. It's a kidding. It's just a joke. Now, you're in a new comedy called Never Change, about a group of 30-somethings who have to go back to high school after finding out that they legally never graduated. I feel like there's a fantasy people have of, if they could go back and do it again, they'd do it better. Do you share that fantasy? Oh, you know what's funny is I've been having this feeling a lot lately. So, I played high school football, as you can tell, and we were a really good team. We went 11-1 my junior and senior year, and we had one guy go to the NFL on our team. We were good, but I was on the bench. I rode the bench, and I'd been watching the World Cup for the first time, and as an adult, as an older man now, I'm watching being like, wait, I should have been playing soccer this whole time. These guys are more my body type. I mean, they're obviously in way better shape, but I like to play soccer. to run I wasn't a big guy and I'm like I love basketball but You know, I have some agility and I'm like, fuck, I should have been playing. Like, it's crazy at this point in my life to be like, I should have played soccer. If I go back to high school, I think I would have played soccer. So, yeah, I would have done it differently. Yeah. Soccer seems like it takes a lot of. There's no guarantee, though. You would have been good at it. Yes, I would have. Okay. Yeah, I agree. I think you would have been. Trust me. I think that's sort of a terrible thing. There's like kind of a crazy thing to say. I'm good at basketball and I play with, obviously, I'm a short guy. So, I'm like soccer. I'll fuck these little guys up. I have a little rule of thumb where if somebody says they'd be great in a hypothetical, you just say yes. Just say yes. Also, it's like, who cares? And also, the other thing you could do is you can tell people you speak five languages. What do they know? Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Sure, he speaks Mandarin. He learned three words on the airplane. I'll say whatever I want. Who cares? I don't want to talk right now. I got to go. Who do you like more personally, Joe Firestone or Joe Pera? Oh, that's a sweet question. They're both great people. Joe Firestone is one of the sweetest humans on the planet. And Joe has employed me multiple times. So, I'm going to go Joe Pera. Smart. That's smart. Hollywood. Hollywood. I go where the money goes. Ah, I said I didn't earlier. I'm lying. So, you're the only person on the bear from Chicago? That's a great question. I would say, okay, so there's some people in the kitchen. That probably have smaller parts that are from Chicago. But out of like, in season one, I think I was like probably like top 14 or 15 on the call sheet. And I would say in those top 15, I was probably the only person born in Chicago. Born in Ravenswood Hospital. Raised in Foster and Western. And then, I would say I was the only one. But I could be wrong. I don't know. Actually, Sweeps. I think he's from Chicago. Yeah, he's from Chicago. But most, yeah. Most of the cast is not from Chicago. But believe it or not, a lot of actors, you know, they're not from the cities that they say they are in the movie. I hate that. Yeah. I hate that about that. I hate that. I think people should be from where they say they're from in the thing. Exactly. And every sports team, whatever city you are, all the players have to be from that city. That would be cool, actually. Way better. That would be way better. All right. We'll be right back. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Fast Growing Trees. Did you know Fast Growing Trees is America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over 2 million happy customers? They have all the plants your yard or home needs, including fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, houseplants, and shrubs, all grown with care and guaranteed to arrive healthy. Whatever you're looking for, Fast Growing Trees helps you find options that actually work for your climate, space, and lifestyle. Fast Growing Trees make it easy to get your dream yard. Just click order, grow, and get healthy, thriving plants delivered to your door. They're alive and thrive. Guarantee promises that your plants arrive happy and healthy. No green thumb required. They're just quality plants you can count on. 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Soft fabrics, support that doesn't dig, pinch, or slip. Bras that feel good and look good under everything you wear. Shop Third Love and explore over 60 sizes, including AA through H, and half cup sizes. Shop sizes you won't find anywhere else. Get $15 off your first purchase at thirdlove.com with code PODCAST15. Hey, it's Jon. We're doing it again, November 5th through the 7th in Washington, D.C. With even more podcast panels and workshops. Plus, there will be drinks, which we'll need after the midterms, no matter which way they go. Get your tickets at crookedcon.com. CrookedCon.com, where we'll also announce the lineup. And we're back. Now it's time for a classic love it or leave it segment we call The Egg of Truth. The Egg of Truth. Very long. Here's how it works. I got questions in it. We're going to ask them to get to some truths. In this case, it's inspired by your movie about going back to high school. So we have high school related Egg of Truth questions today for all of us. Okay. By the way, do you still get like exam anxiety dreams? No. Like I haven't been in school for many, many years, but I still sometimes think I'm about to take a test that I haven't studied. Absolutely. Isn't that wild that that hangs out? I actually took a statistics class in college and it met at 8.20 a.m. on Tuesday and Thursday. And I simply did not go and it got out of hand. You ever think like, oh, I missed one or two and it got out of hand? And so I literally had a final exam for a class I've simply stopped attending. And I had to just like read the textbook. It was open book, thank God. So I kind of like could gut my way through it. But that was a scary day. I think about that sometimes. It makes me scared sometimes. But that's actually a memory, not a dream. I have the anxiety dream of like, I don't even know what this test is. You don't get those? Yeah, I used to. But then I started getting going that I was my old job dreams when I worked in sales. I went from that. And then my dream was like, oh, I forgot to. I haven't been punching in. And I've been working for three months and you're not going to get paid. Whoa. That's a serious financial anxiety dream. I worked for Hillary Clinton as a speechwriter and I was very unqualified. She should have won twice. For sure. And I totally. It was your speech that lost. For sure. People think that. But I have dreams about. Did you write Deplorable? No, I didn't. I didn't. You know what's funny? You know what? Tell you something. It is. There's uncertain. Certain quarters of the Internet is taken as a given, like a fact that I wrote. Pokemon go to the polls. And I've been denying it for a decade. Well, and people think my denial is a joke that I really wrote it. I didn't. But even now, it seems like I'm joking, I think, because people really think I wrote it. I believe you. So who wrote it? I don't know who wrote it. I don't know. I didn't work for at the time. I wrote it. You wrote it. It's a good line. I used to get GPT. That's amazing. An early version. A very, very early version. The thing about it is here's my thing about Pokemon go to the polls. It's a great line. It broke through. People remembered it. Yeah, it was cringe. The problem you're like, this is why she lost. No, she lost for several other reasons. And if she had won, you'd think it was a good line. She lost because she didn't have enough hot sauce in the purse. Yeah, she got more hot sauce in that fucking purse. She does have hot sauce in the purse. That's a thing. You know that. I know that. They don't know that. I think you're right. I think they know that. You know about Hillary's hot sauce in the purse? I didn't know about that. Really? Oh, let's not get into that. First question. What's an embarrassing moment from high school that still makes you freeze in the shower when you think of it filled with remorse and embarrassment and shame? Is this for me or you? Either of us. It's for either of us. Do you have a moment like that? A little cringy moment? You know, in freshman year of high school in New York, this guy said something about my girlfriend, and I said, "We have to have a fight," and we had this big, dumb, stupid fight. It wasn't even that violent. And everybody was around. And afterwards, I was like, "This is so. " And still to this day, I think about that stupid fight. And this guy was actually a nice guy. And afterwards, we became friends again. And I was just like, "What?" That was the most idiotic thing of all time, even though the fight was pretty benevolent now. But it was just. I cringe thinking that I went through it. I went through that. With that. You had a girlfriend? That's cool. Yep. Did you have a girlfriend? I'm still in touch with her. You're still in touch with that girlfriend? Wow. Yeah, just over the years, you know. Wow. What a nice guy. People liked you even after you broke up. Well, it was a long time ago. Right. It had some time. 1990. 1990. Yes. I had time to settle. Did you have a girlfriend in high school? I did. I had a great girlfriend. That's so cool. She was good. And then I broke up with her. I was like, "Bro, I got to get out there. I got to see what it's like to be a single senior." And? I got back with her. What did you think you would grow up to be when you were in high school, and do you regret doing this instead? Ooh. That's deep. High school. I thought I was going to be a gym teacher, and I do not regret doing what I'm doing now. No, I didn't really know. I remember thinking I had one cool gym teacher. I was like, "Maybe I'll do that." I didn't know. And then I was like, "Maybe I'll go to the Army." The bar was not high. I thought I was going to be a history lecturer. Really? That's what I thought I was going to be. You wanted to be a lecturer? Yeah, because I didn't want to be a teacher. I wanted to be like a professor. Do you say "lecturer" here as much? Say "professor" more. "Professor." That was like a professor. But "professor" is like a higher thing. Yeah. Over there. Yeah. Over there, "professor" is a bigger deal. That's what I. I wanted to teach history in college. Wow. That's cool. Because I felt like it was like. A teacher just felt, in my mind, like not as much of an aspiration. I don't know. Do you read a lot of history? I still love history. That's what I. That's all I was interested in. That's what I did in college. And that's. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. you know i think then i got into comedy thank god because my my ba in history wasn't going to take me very far i think i really wanted to be in the nba to be honest but like my stepdad told me at a really young age he's like it's never gonna happen i was on the team he was like you gotta be the best in your town then you gotta be the you gotta be the best in your school then your town then the state and then whatever i was like damn dude all right i get it kill my dreams yeah jesus quick when i say the word prom what's the immediate feeling you have in your body oh hell yeah wow really that's so cool yeah what about you carrie because we we do we don't do proms at harley you know like they didn't do no prom no they do something like it but i didn't even it's not the same like it's not as much of a rite of passage i didn't so i didn't have the experience you didn't have your experience i didn't either i didn't go to my prom i played i played nintendo 64 in the basement whoa dude yeah that comes up a lot in therapy man yeah if i went to therapy but i don't because i don't need it i don't even need it i don't need it so it wouldn't even wouldn't even come up we'll be right back and we're back i forgot to say carmen yes carmen on instagram for tickets to see your your hour on july 29th at zebulon that's right go check it out come on out do you guys like comedy you guys like comedy do you like to laugh do you guys like me well i got a show on july 29th and if you're not there i'm gonna be so pissed i forgot that uh that there was a fight with with mencia i forgot about the fight aspect of it yeah he almost got his ass killed yeah i actually didn't know about that part of it i just knew also that rogan went after him hard for the oh really joke stealing your boy i heard you back there and just like that we arrived at the twilight of another fantastic episode which means it's time for our favorite closing segment second thoughts the lover to leave a team has been analyzing my performance for any imperfections and while they've come up with none they've done their best anyway to compile a list for review and decide what i should regret from tonight's episode uh also if you have any regrets about tonight's episode this is the moment to share them this is where we talk through the things we wish we'd done differently just for the past hour just for the past hour just for the past hour just for the past hour just anything you regret about tonight uh i'll start uh uh i shouldn't have i should have played the fart a third time that the rule of three is applied and we would have gotten a great laugh had i played the schumer fart a third time can you play the fart now now on iran and the ndaa it's farts are always funny they're always funny you could do and then when chuck schumer does one it's even funnier i also think he's missing an opportunity which is which is okay you farted everybody farts right it's a funny thing that we're like if you fart in the wrong time it's embarrassing but obviously we all do it it's like there's not a lot of it's a weird thing about farting right like oh you farted that we think that's stupid and bad it's like you do it we do it trump does it you know haha you have to take a shit that's basically what yeah yeah you're you're you're yeah the process by which you will eventually have to shit is continuing yeah weird thing to make fun of people for when i think about i think schumer should get out there and make like i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do like he should do a bit about it and get because you you know has it been confirmed that that was actually his fart like that well i don't think they got the lab guys on it i don't know how i don't know how we're gonna get out there i really at this point we probably just have to take his word for it one way or the other has he admitted it no no he's he's he he dealt it but he didn't he should be the bit he didn't smelt it should be the fart guy he should be like i'm the fart guy i'm hoping about being farty i'm awake yeah yeah at least yeah exactly but i think he should do an event where he talks about farting and he should do an event where he talks about like gas prices you know he could really make something of it i'm serious if i were if i worked for chuck schumer i think it is if i worked for schumer i would be i would say turn make lemonade you farty bitch yeah yes don't work for him bro you're better than that uh let's see i came down pretty hard on you for not monetizing mandarin oh you regret that no no i don't regret i thought that was a highlight personally oh i didn't ask you how to say cunt in chinese you didn't but it came out i know you said it i said shabby oh that's cool but it's like the tonal part seems well because it's important it's of course what does it mean without what does it mean if you don't know the tone how does it change the meaning so my last name in chinese because a bi is a family name so i took the bi off a bishop and i took the b but it's fourth tone b as opposed to b right and then like the the second tone is like ma which means numb right so when you if you ever go to a chinese restaurant and you get mala that's numb hot that's why you get the oh there's a special peppers so it's ma so it's almost like you've lost confidence in the words so you go ma that's the second tone wow so there you go he's teaching me more than you're teaching me i don't care bro you seem like a good guy though honestly um the sound effects on our first game were too long actually that's been a problem throughout the night uh oh another regret jeremy allen white we'd love to have you on the show that ain't happening fuck uh i lied about not writing pokemon go to the polls funny you wrote you you wrote it i wrote it wow did you actually write it no and that's our show all right thank you so much to des bishop and carmen christopher there are 109 days until the midterms we will be back next week with patrick rena and w kamau bell have a great weekend love it or leave it is a crooked media production our show is produced by kendra james bill mcgrath kelsey gante and me john lovin our production team includes hallie keeper sarah lazarus raman borsellino peter miller david tolls claudia shang jay banks gavin purcell and matt de groot and our staff is proudly unionized with the writers guild of america east hey it's john last year 2500 people joined us at crooked con for conversations with some of the smartest organizers least annoying politicians and most interesting voices in politics about how to fix this mess we're doing it again no matter which way they go get your tickets at crooked con.com where we'll also announce the lineup if you're a friends of the pod subscriber a limited number of discounted tickets are still available get them before they run out see you at cricket con picture this you're on the beach with the whole family 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