The Dirty Underwear Mystery - Episode 273

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Oh, um, so I saw this video of this dude being held back as he was punching someone through a drive-thru window. Can you guess what restaurant it was? It's, I wouldn't call it low tier restaurant, but it's like one of those restaurants where you can expect this to happen at. Wendy's? You're getting close. It's in that, yes, you're already in that tier. Okay. Not Burger King. Y'all guess before Mike. McDonald's is too good. It's too, I feel like that's too obvious. Was it Arby's? Too obvious. Well, no, ain't nobody there at Arby's. Parties or some shit? Nah. Oh. You missing it. It's obvious. Culver's? But it ain't as obvious as McDonald's. It's like right next to McDonald's. Okay. You jumping over it. Not Popeye's. Ooh, that would've, actually, that's in the vicinity. Actually, that's probably number one. That should have been. Huh. What was it? Taco Bell. Damn. I was going to say that. I feel like I never see that much problems at Taco Bell. Taco Bell. Yeah. I saw a tweet over it, and it said, it was giving that nigga a Baja blast. No, that shit is crazy. I always find it weird when people fight in super public spots. Yeah. Like, I get like, okay, I just walked out of a bar. I'm intoxicated. I see another dude. He talking shit. We got into it. The cop's right there. Yes, that was dumb, but just looking at the area, it's nighttime. It's probably 3 a.m. You could have been fearing for your life. But fighting in a room. At a restaurant at 3 p.m.? Yeah. Nigga, you're going to jail. That's like, it's like the most cameras in the city is at the Taco Bell. Yeah. Like, you're going to jail just low IQ shit. I feel like I respect it a little bit. I don't really mind. I feel like when you had like a more, like a restaurant, so like, especially like a nicer restaurant, it's like, oh, these people don't really care at all. No, that's where you fight at. At a nice restaurant? No, you fight at the Taquerias. At the Taquerias. You know, they're not paying for their camera. It's just for show. It's just for show. That's the worst shit. That's the worst feeling. Bro, somebody hit my fucking car and I went into the place. Remember, my car got hit by our boxing gym and I went into the place and I was just like, yo, I need footage. He's like, I'm not going to lie, bro. Those cameras don't work. And it was like five of them outside. I'm like, you fucking idiot. That's a lot of people, especially. I should have robbed that nigga. Now I think about it. Especially my neighborhood growing up. A lot of people had the ADT signs, like the security system signs. They just had like the lawn signs and never had this actual security system. So it was enough for them to like, I don't need the actual security system. Just as long as you know I have it. It's tough. Because I feel like everybody starts off with those security systems. Because one, they probably offer you some good deal. Like, hey, first two months free or whatever. Then as you pay for it, it's one of those things where you're just like, this isn't going to happen to me. You know what I stopped paying for? Is AppleCare on my phone. I never stopped paying for AppleCare. I just, because to me, whatever, like a screen breaks, which is the most common thing that breaks. You literally can go to. There's a guy in the middle of a mall and he'll fix the screen for you. Like you don't need. And you're paying. You're talking about the real screen or like the. No, they'll give you the real screen. I've never seen that in the middle of a mall. Yeah, well, if you can go to any other store, they'll fix it for like. Those people at the middle mall, they'll be fixing phone screens. No, bro. And the ones that begin the phone cases. No, they can't fix phones like that. They do. They even fix the back of the phone. They do taxes, but they can't. That's crazy. How? I literally. A dude put a security screen on my phone and then he did my taxes right after. Yo, that's not what we're doing. Hello. Hey, the radio is for people who are driving. I'll drive. Welcome to Crash W's podcast. Anyway, welcome to Crash W's episode 273. We are in L.A. We're at the TMG Studios. Yeah, we just did a live show in San Francisco. Make sure you guys get the Patreon before I go. Patreon. We still got live shows coming up. Go to Crash Something's Live.com. We already did the live show in L.A. We just. Oh, yeah. At this point. Yeah. Yeah. It went well. We did San Fran. And I'm saying San Fran to be disrespectful because a lot of y'all were getting on my ass for saying San Fran. And I think y'all can't choose y'all nickname that people give. Y'all the only state or whatever city that gets mad at the nickname that they give us. That they. That's given to you. I'm not going to disrespect for disrespect y'all by calling y'all San Fran. I'm not doing that. I'm not. No, he was just calling y'all San Fran before. Now he on camera. Now you want to cop a plea. Come on now. I want to cop a plea after talking to the people. And they really express like, hey, we really don't like that. They wouldn't even be a hostile at the show. They were just like, we don't like it. But I will say Frisco, the substitutions that they had, I wasn't fucking with it. No, I don't. So I'll say San Francisco. But I refuse. I refuse to do the substitutes that they try to give me. I'll say San Francisco out of respect, because if I was if my city was more known and people were saying it weird and I would try to get them at least to go back to the regular meeting. I'll do San Francisco. But I forgot it was Frisco. That sounds like a seltzer. Yeah, it sounds. It sounds like like you were illegally touched by somebody. Nigga Frisco me, dog. Nigga Frisco me. You Frisco'd you, bro? It sounds like sparkling water. Like a LaCroix. Niggas out here. Niggas out here getting Frisco without consent. No, shout out to the people there, though, at the San Francisco show. Y'all were awesome. L.A., we haven't done it yet, but I'm pretty sure. No, we did it already, L.A. It was awesome. I can't believe. I can't believe dude said that shit. I can't believe a fan gave me a thousand dollars randomly. This shit is wild, bro. This is like L.A., bro. I just love it. We sold out merch. Yeah, we sold out merch and shit. I tried doing a good deed last week. I was at a McDonald's drive through. I was getting a. Egg McMuffin. Sasha Egg McMuffin. And I was like, let me pay for the guy or the person behind me. I didn't know who that was. I was like, you pay for the person behind me as a meal as well. And then, you know, I pay for it. And as I'm waiting for the food, the dude gets out the car and says, no, bro, I don't want you paying for my. I don't want you paying for my meal. And he's like, he handed me the money. He's like, no, bro, you're not about to pay for my meal. I'm good. I'm like, you can't even do good deeds anymore. Dudes don't like other dudes paying for each other. I ain't fuck with you like that. What kind of car you have? It was a van. A van. Oh, yeah. Them niggas don't play that shit. That brings me to my other point. That's the automatic doors. The type of cars to get behind in a drive through. I choose it by like the type of car that I'm seeing in front of me. Because, you know, those drive throughs, they have like the two lanes. Sometimes it's a car in each one. Minivans is always a no-no for me. Because I already know they're about to have a crazy order. Because you have a minivan, you have a family. So you're making more than like one actual meal. Or one actual item. They're going to get multiple items. And you know if you have multiple items, most people want substitutions for those items as well. They'd be on the phone and shit. Yeah. No, the fucked up part about it, the person told them that their meal's getting paid for before they start. Like, yeah, dude paid for it. So you can get whatever. Let me get a hundred tacos, man. Now, imagine if them getting to the pay window and it's like, oh, the guy in front paid for your meal. Hold on. Let me reverse real quick. Let me ask some things. Nice to get on the phone. Yo, yo, yo, come up here, bro. Nigga didn't pay for everything. Just hop in my whip, bro. Nigga holding up the line. Why you ain't getting your food? You trying to wonder why he ain't getting his food? Yo, bro, I paid for your shit. Get your food. He talk about, hold on. You just see 10 niggas pull up and get this car? All right, cool. There's nothing worse than picking the worst, the wrong line. Especially when you kind of go back and forth about like what line. It could be at a grocery store or even a drive-thru. And just like you pick that wrong line that you thought was going to go faster and end up taking the longest. No, the most awkward moment. Is when they open up a new line. And they like, anybody over here want to come to my line? You available? Or they like make an announcement. The good people, they come out and be like, who's next in this long ass line? I'll take you. Because you deserve it. But these like new kids, like they'll be working at Target and shit. I'm the new kid. They just hop in there and just be like, I'll take the next person. And then it just be the person at the end of the line. Like, no, he ain't putting no work. He just got to this bitch. That's me. What? You the last person? I don't. It doesn't matter where I'm at. If they say a new line. Because everybody to me, everybody acts a little awkward. And it says, there's a new line open. And everybody does the little, I'm staring at each other contest. No, people are afraid of change. Yeah. So then when they do that, I'm like, I'm just going to go and let nobody's going to stop me from doing it. No, somebody be assertive. Somebody did that to me before. Like they were, she literally said, next person in line can just come over here. I was the next person. And the person in front of me had a whole bunch of groceries on the conveyor belt. The dude. behind me, went over there and hopped in line yeah so guess what i did i just walked right in front of that nigga and put my shit like i did i had so like i had a decent amount of stuff i just handed her all my stuff because he had all his stuff on there wish that nigga would he also had a cane though so it wasn't like wasn't that much competition you assessed the threat oh i definitely assessed the threat i was gonna wear that nigga out whoa no pause okay okay um freaky patting the chat early um 10 minutes in freaky freaky chatting the pat okay you chatting the pat okay uh this question why do we get in a car but we get on a bus i feel like getting into cars because you have to do the like butt first type of thing because you're actually like sitting down to get in the car so that's in but means in yeah on a bus get it on a bus i think when you're like because you have to actually like step on you know there's obviously there's a separation from the ground to it's raised and you have to step on the bus so i think it's just like a different process but i guess if you have like a pickup truck and you have one of those ones with the side railings it might be a little different because you can get on the truck can you like get on the truck but it's like the back of the truck is the back yeah yeah yeah get on the truck no you can't so if you're getting on the bus does that mean the back of the bus the back of the bus because you're getting on the bus oh you mean like the top of the bus if a nigga tell me that i'm getting on the bus i'm getting on the bus tell me get on the bus again i'm climbing up on that bitch because it's literally in it's supposed to be in like get in the bus like yo we got to go get in the bus that shit sounds so dumb like who changed that shit get on the bus get on the car no that's like yeah get on the car something like a police command america's so fucked bro and we got the nerve to have like all these hard-ass screening questions for immigrants and shit we got shit we can't even figure out like why don't you enter on the bus like why are we getting into it why are we getting in the car but on the bus what do we do with the plane get on the plane on the plane i think it's uh it's just a step in like you're not immediately sitting down it's how big it is yeah yeah girl get on this dick no little dick ass your girl your girl getting in your dick my girl getting on my dick nigga nigga big shit bus shit play shit they're saying pat mentions uh dick every episode i got a dick like why the fuck but they say the same way i say it's i'm from nigeria damn i said it again but the same way i said from nigeria you say something about penises bro i got a dick bro and i'm nigerian so am i cool to say i'm nigerian but the thing is it's just like with with comedy like eventually it's gonna get freaky you know what i'm saying you can't help it it's like so much pause worthy shit i just said no pause like i was just just i'm gonna wear that nigga out i know i like that mean fighting to me and i don't feel like saying pause you know what i'm saying it's my choice you know what i'm saying yeah but your choice to wear them out yeah yeah whatever okay that cane going somewhere now oh my gosh that is crazy push mop that nigga man we didn't even talk about our journey from san francisco to um la oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um we thought man we wanted to take the scenic route we could have obviously flew we we we we um but we take some accountability bro what like me and gene ain't want to say shit but just take some accountability about what because i hate niggas that do shit and then they pop with you like come on man i'm so mad what happened we got a flat tire on the way like an hour and a half who the fuck was driving me but come on now anybody would have pulled in there he said that happens all the time he was trying to soothe your back hey man that happened all the time just say i bro just one time wait that was us we all stopped and you got hella pictures off somebody was like i bet you said pat pat taking all these nature ass pictures while you're probably stressing about the tire oh i took that before though i know it was just when it was supposed to now we that's where we got stuck at that's at the scene and would have been the perfect place we got we literally got stuck on a part where like people were scrambling to get out of our way so they don't hit us like it's like some bad luck shit but no what was your song oh no say i at least one time what happened because like it all i want to say is if me or gene were driving yes there's a good chance we wouldn't have got a flat tire because you guys went and pulled over to the correct the side of the thing at least not that spot you caught that spotlight that was coming off a curve i don't even know how you knew that spot was there it's like you've been there before maybe but i think it was it was obviously when we were leaving though yes it was when we were leaving the side of the roads are sharp as hell so you weren't paying attention no the side of the roads is just sharp there was no way to get off so the whole road the whole road was sharp the whole road was yes the only thing i took you credit for was for catching it because we would have died i would have been i would have tried to make i would have literally been doing 90 in the left lane it would have been on a curve and i'd be like why this motherfucking not turning like that and y'all would have seen it would have been so fucked up because i'm the type of nigga to jump from the car you and it was a place where people were going like 70 miles per hour it was like and we waited like three hours on the side of the road this was like the most helpless i've ever felt in my life okay another confession you finally you confessed that it was you that that did it right yeah okay thank you next confession somebody in this group had to call the cops i've never called 9-1-1 in my fucking life mike you ever called 9-1-1 in your life for a prank call for a prank call i'm just saying like for real help no no no so if it's not me it's not you who called the cops our boy del shante so yo and honestly i would have the cops asked for gene's name and obviously people don't know gene's actual name and my first name is my instagram yeah it's del shante so when he said his name is del shante i said oh they're gonna take a while and best believe they took a while to get to know he was cool as hell i thought he was gonna be on some bullshit it was cool as hell those are cool i ain't gonna lie because that would have been a perfect conversation i would have been a perfect time to be on some bullshit we had a hell of luggage niggas talking about we entertainers i had all my jewelry on i had a beater on i was shadowboxing on the side of the road they about to bring five cops to this no it was interesting oh shout out to our tow truck driver oh yeah jose jose is jose yeah is it jose or joe it was jose that's what it said on the app too and he said it was he did yeah yeah hey man shout out to joe man and these bro i'm not gonna lie but pat and gene tend to disappear when it's like manual labor to be done that's not true that that's that shit happened to you once no it happened twice it happened twice no it didn't happen it happened twice it happened when we were renting the car yes you went to you have to go to the bathroom so i was like i'm not gonna i'm just gonna hurry up and go so i can because i'm the one my name but the first time i had my luggage though the first time you only did manual labor one time the second time you didn't do any other manual labor by yourself bro i took out like six bags out the thing yes that's one time slanted thing one time this thing is walking back walking back to the store like hey bro i got your water i said fuck that water it was some it was volcano water you bitch ass nigga i literally picked it up i'm like man that nigga might gonna fuck with me didn't i say that i said i got him volcano water and i think it was from a well or some shit bro premium ass water and we had to sign the autograph for the lady at the 7-eleven she took a picture of a nigga pat did your autograph for you no that's crazy she said she said where are these niggas bro it was some old white lady she took a picture of us because she we we told her about the podcast or whatever and why we here because she wondered why we also we was in a town called los baños and what do los baños mean uh the bathroom the bathroom and that town fits the name perfectly it smelled like a big ass bathroom no shout out to y'all stinky ass niggas it was three laundromats on the same block yeah yeah no they stink though it's okay it was a good town though um but we stopped there we saw a nice lady at 7-eleven and she took a picture of us and like as she took the picture of us i was like i don't know what the use is for yeah because at first it felt like more of like a fan thing but she was like do one smiling and do one don't smile and i was like sound like somebody about to flick the bean when they get home but you're on a ouija board or some shit oh man she about to flick that bean 7-eleven times football is back and something big is coming on september 2nd draft kings game day arrives saturdays are about to hit with tailgates rivalry weekends that first big upset of the season so you know i've been counting down to this season all summer long and now everything i need is in one place that's right no more juggling apps or wondering what's available where you live one download one account and you're set for the whole season whether you're a college football guy or just show up for the snacks draft kings game day is built to make every saturday more fun and don't forget draft kings is now live in all 50 states one app every sport all 50 states new draft kings customers sign up with cold crash spend five bucks to get 200 in 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Mandatory disclaimers. Number one, Earning is a financial technology company, not a bank. Two, access limits are based on your earnings and risk factors. Standard cash outs take one to two business days with no mandatory fees. Three, expedited transfers available for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service. And four, available in select states. Terms and restrictions apply. Visit Earning.com for full details. Now back to the podcast. Another thing I started to notice, especially when we start traveling together, I'm more type A when I'm with y'all, like as a group, than I am with my girl. You're also unnecessarily type A sometimes. No, I know that. Like you're type A when shit's already like going the way it's going sometimes. But I have to, I feel like I have to be that way just because it's just like how I'm wired. But when I'm with my girl, I feel like I have to be that way just because it's just like how I'm wired. When I'm with my girl, because she's type A, I'm more type B. It's just kind of interesting. You kind of like have to be like on top of things. I think I'm also scarred. Not even has anything to do with you guys. Just in general, just like working with just different type of people. Just coming up and being an entrepreneur. I feel like sometimes when you get too type B, because I feel like naturally I'm a type B. But around other people, it makes me more of a type A because I've been burned a lot. Or like, I was like, I could have just did that myself if that was going to happen. Yeah, you. I feel like you run, like sometimes like when you talk, you're already thinking about what can go wrong. And I'm a type of nigga that like, I don't know why. Like, I'm definitely one of God's favorites. I've been putting in some minimum work at some times and some shit just blossomed. I'd never deserve to be a D2 football coach. I didn't put in no work. I was like an offensive coordinator at a very bad high school. And they like, here's a full time job at a division two. You know what I'm saying? So it's just like, I get why you like that. You like, you had some bad shit happen. Because me and you, you actually jinxed me. Oh, it's Gene's. Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you. Oh, no, you're right. Go back to that. Yes, it's Gene's fault that we got a flat tire. Accountability. Yes, yes, yes, yes. What'd you say, Gene? What'd you say before we got the flat tire? We was chilling, watching the beautiful view, you know, looking at the elk and shit. Yeah, yeah. Had that phone call with my girl. And I was just joking around. And I said, oh, we here because, you know, we caught a flat. He was joking with her. Make it seem like we're already stranded. Was that before or after? Before. Was that before or after he said the Nini Yahoo shit? That was earlier. But he was joking around and said that we got a flat and we're stranded here. And you joined in, too. Yeah, I did say we were stranded. But it was off his jinx. So I guess I doubled down on the jinx. I take accountability for that. Doubling down, like, you know what I'm saying? So it's we again, right? We're back to we. We're back to we again. There's something else. You did. I didn't really fuck with. Come on. Oh, you left us stranded at the at the airport. But everything was in my name. So I had to go. Little bogus has directions. We a team, bro. No, we both want. Gene did weirdly use the bathroom, but he had to. No, Gene is known for that. Any time there's an Uber or anything, Gene has to do something last minute. And the thing is annoying. Gene is never the reason we're late for anything either. It's annoyingly on time because he'll be like, I'm not. The Uber will be here. But hold on. I'm about to go across the street to throw this away real quick. And we're like, dog, you're going to miss the fucking Uber, bro. To the point that he's there right on time. To the point that we start preying on that nigga downfall. Even though it affects us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like the train coming. Like, watch this nigga miss the train. He gonna miss the train. How? How? What do you mean they're having a delay? Sorry, we're having a five minute delay. Did G come out with four minutes left? I told y'all we're going to leave. Nigga, you lucky, dude. I don't know how you doing. No, this whole trip was like very. This whole L.A. run or this West Coast run was the trip of minor inconveniences. Yes. Minor to a semi-major inconvenience. Oh, shit. I forgot. From the airport. Airport. I got fucking sent back by TSA. Yeah. When I tell you the fucked up part about TSA is like everybody's not smart. And it's a game of telephone. Yeah. You're getting information from the person. The person that's giving you the information. The person that denies you. I feel like that checkpoint person that's letting people in. With the IDs and stuff. I feel like they're the most prestigious because you can't really get through. Your information has to be correct with them. Everybody else is under that shit. So like once they tell you some shit, it's very important. The next person you go to can help you get to your final destination. Because if you run into a dumb motherfucker at TSA, which I did, I ran into somebody and they were just like, hey, why you got this piece of paper? And end up being like, it's my birthday wrong. And I was like, I think my birthday or information. I said birthday, but also say information to give. So I don't like. Yeah. Because you might be something else. And I don't want to make them feel dumb or tell them to do. I say birthday because I know I heard birthday and some other information. They took me around to the kiosk and printed out my boarding stuff and just like, I don't see your birthday on here. You nothing to get to talk to. You're very low. What do you think is a bad habit that you have? I think a bad habit I have. Is like, uh, I, I end up tearing people down too brutally, but only because I built them up in my head to be like greater than what they are real shit. Like, I, but like, I'm, I think it's for me being a, like a football coach, like coaching is like the best thing is seeing somebody with some potential and being able to exploit that to a point. Like they're able to use it where everybody, nobody else saw that. So I do that with people in real life. And I just see somebody, um, like a creator. We know, you know what I'm saying? Like, man, he got crazy skills with the camera. He can do such and such and such and such. And then it's just like, I ignore the flaws that go into it. And then sometimes like, then I'll see the flaws happen, like back to back to back to back. And I'm just like, oh, that's who that person is until they decide to change all the way. And they're just like, now I'm pissed. Now I'm like, nigga, fuck you. You trash nigga. Like I thought you was this in reality. I should have just saw it for what it is. And then I can actually probably see that. Like growing and they trying to figure it out, but I put them way up here and now they down. And I'm just like, you trash, bro. What's yours? I think mine's, I said this at the live show as well, but it's been telling people the wrong price for TSA. I've been telling people TSA, uh, pre-check is $300 because the TSA pre-check lines are starting to look like the regular line. Everybody got TSA. Everybody got TSA pre-check. It's too much information. Everybody's learning that it's, it's cheaper than it's cheaper. I don't know what it actually is. And it's pretty easy to sign up for, but I, so I have to start telling some people like it's $300. Like, like, yeah, it's like $300 a month, bro. You know, I don't, I wouldn't even get it. Like it's, it's really not that, you know, it's really not worth it if you really don't travel that much anyway. I blame them talking head niggas. And the reason I blame them is because they're so good at dumbing down information that dumb people actually receive the fucking information. Like some of the shit is, is supposed to be gatekeepers. Like some of the shit is the only reason you can find this out is if you click more than four times, these talking heads be like, Hey, I just told you how to get TSA. Matter of fact, it's one click away in my fucking bio. Now I got a dumb nigga that don't even know that he can't smoke in a TSA line and I'm behind him and shit like, Nick, you know, you can't smoke in here. Now they're delaying the whole line because of you. How do you even get here? Or to be like, these are the best times to go to the airport. Like, it was just like early tick tock. It was like the best times to post. Yeah. It's like, okay, now we got to go opposite. Whatever these times are. That's so dumb, bro. I hate when they come out with the post time shit. Oh, the best post times at 12. So everybody posting at 12. I feel like that was the biggest myth too. It was like, uh, there was some truth to it, but it also was like a, a myth to it. Cause I, we, we started to discover if it's this good content, it's going to perform well. Right. No matter what's obviously don't, obviously don't post at 2am or 3am. Yeah. I think that's what should be more said instead of tick tock. Most times, TikTok don't post times. don't post at these times but yeah i would say that that's so dumb though i always hated the post-time shit i hated the hashtag shit like none of that shit mean nothing because it's all been debunked before and it's definitely about the content like you said um why uh this tweet says white people be like i have to pick up my dogs invisalign there's that theory that white people treat their their dogs like better to treat some people i saw damn what comedian said that i want to give them their credit but it was just like um like white people talk to uh their dogs like why would you go and do that why would you go and do that like uh black people talk to their pets and give them open-ended questions yeah like do you think you should have shit on the floor and the dog just looking all say yeah you know what i'm saying i forgot what comedians i'm mad i can't get them their credit no put in the comments for sure that's fire yo yo what y'all what'd it do what'd it do hey shit welcome to crashing these podcasts bro what's up well you sound so far away you got us on speaker or something nah hold on hello oh there it is that's way better what you change uh nigga i'm in the truck and shit so my head's at all fucked up oh you know what's funny me and michael was just at a truck stop and we was looking at the prices of headsets like it was something for $59 $99 $199 $299 then it was like the big kahuna that bitch like $700 this is like some beats vibrate and shit oh what what uh how much was your how much was your headphones uh nigga i got these bitches from walmart these motherfuckers about $30 oh yeah okay yeah they didn't have they didn't have them uh headphones in a glass case just sitting out you're a fuck of a nigga stealing bitches or not i had a question for you bro uh uh which one you do one or two because it's hard to man this shit this shit go for the both of them okay uh okay what makes you want to cry man when niggas had they big girl man like yo be proud of your joint man like niggas be too grown to be sneaking they big girl around not bringing around the homies yeah i mean dipping off in the middle of the street all the night and just be like yeah yo i'm going to mcdonald's yeah we know you're going to meet up with big shirley man charlotte shirley do you like is you like big girls hell yeah nigga i'm grown to hell hell yeah i love them i love all women big small but that big one yeah i mean that joint like that shit like bitcoin in 2012 you feel me that's why i just described the woman as okay what's your what's your message to all my lovely plus size women out there that was very baby don't be my secret go ahead start over start over start start over start start over baby don't be nobody's secret we gonna love you out here else i love i love every party the little roll the cankle all that man i know that bat wing that gets to the bottom of the pot baby i know how you do it in the kitchen we love y'all out here sweat it goes are you are you gonna settle down with one oh boy i'm engaged to one right now fuck is we talking about that's it that's what my whole thing is it's like i hope you're not talking about all these women and you got a woman yeah yeah man but this is for the niggas though you found me you know what i mean they hide they hiding a big girl like bro you gotta be proud of your joint because you really love her but you scared of what the folks going yeah and that's weird that's what you're attracted to yeah if you're hiding your girl because you feel the the opinions of other men are gonna affect you then yeah you should be hiding your girl yeah yeah boy stop being scared boy take that girl to the water park right yeah people people look why the water park people that's very yeah that's very specific you go to walk parks he said i'm gonna show you how to go down a motherfucking slide no but don't make it a fetish though fellas also you know i'm saying make sure you really love her that's the problem like people be having fetishes and then don't want to marry that that fetish you know i'm saying don't don't treat don't treat them like they come on no i love plus size women hell yeah i do love all women we love all women no especially plus size women the thing is you gotta you gotta love them all but as a man boy you get you gotta have pride in them all you know i'm saying all my all my cousins plus size that's crazy i'm just being real you know i'm saying yeah i gotta have them they're my babies they all plus size yo yo yo what up what up all right uh i got a question for you welcome to crash dummies podcast though you know what's up what's up why do you keep cutting him off because i feel like he was about to go into his tangent but i was like i ain't here oh yeah would you really about to go into a tangent or are they guys like he look he gets like nine oh no well he wasn't about to say nothing bro he had a whole introduction mike you gotta stop doing that bro okay thank you he look he sound quiet like he ready for the question i got a question for you what makes you want to cry uh fatherhood i ain't gonna lie out of your fatherhood it's a very emotional thing like in a good way or a bad way in a good way of course i don't know deadbeat i don't have kids though well i guess yeah you really are you don't have any kids he said i'm not a deadbeat i don't have any kids well no shit you don't even qualify so why does it make you want to so is it other people's fatherhood that makes you want to cry i mean the father's nowadays is as banal that's not true that's not true i literally don't know a bad father i'm sure they out there but i know a lot more good fathers than bad do you know your father well well pat do you know your father good father do you know your daddy nigga i know you hear gene talk to you oh what's up gene yeah good dad here you know i'm saying gene uh where your dad i think we think my dad stay around good dads like pat you're not gonna hang around a bad dad aren't you well we gotta see we gotta see i will still hang around mike and i don't know what type of dad oh that's my nigga i never give up on him i feel like i feel like as friends we wouldn't even allow each other to be bad father that's not true you don't think you would if i was a bad father you you wouldn't check me it depends on like if it's like some like slight shit like if it's like some uh i'm never on time to pick up my son and i'm like into it i feel like maybe you say something but eventually you'd be like that's just what he do yeah and that's still being that's still being a bad dad left his kid at school though like if i forgot my kid i mean he or if i said i don't want to be you actually have a fucking kid though in nigeria me oh my god i never said shit about oh my god who are you we literally got a joint bank account promise you nine hundred dollars go to nigeria a month i don't know where the fuck is going that nigga is a good liar can we get a currency transaction uh it is hard to be friends with like somebody that's a bad dad we've said this a million times yeah i would never especially if he known to everybody know it too back to you though like okay what is what why does it make you want to cry though like because like when when i think about me having kids it's like i just feel like i'm gonna be a good dad do you have a girl yeah i got a girl how old are you about to get engaged oh congrats you you what huh we're about to get engaged no no how old are you oh 20 oh let's fuck off my phone little nigga it's i hate these little bro every time listen no no no no no no no and engage i'm tired of that shit bro i love y'all y'all got a spot on this pot well i swear y'all got a spot on this pot we want to know more about 20 year old shit i'm tired of 18 19 20 and 21 year olds coming on this fucking show and talking about hypothetical grown-up shit that they ain't never been through before why do y'all keep doing that probably years away from experience and then we asked y'all about the experience and then y'all don't even have the prerequisites for the shit you ask a nigga about being a dad this nigga ain't got no fucking kids he's talking about your fucking deadbeat this fucking idiot little nigga dog you niggas i don't talk about some 20 year old shit your dad oh your dad was your dad was in that beat nigga we asked you that that's what i'm saying he 20 he not even answering questions gene asked you that at the beginning and you ignored the shit because you fucking 20 that's why you missing shit talk about some 20 that's what you get for lying at the beginning another chance ask a nigga a question again so he can do a 20 year old answer sometimes but i talk for two hours and you've been talking for two minutes and you sound stupid of course i would be wrong over a two-hour span we give y'all two-hour episodes i'm gonna be wrong probably 10 times during the episode nick you've been here 10 two minutes and you fucking wrong asking that question again so you can do a 20 year old answer i'm saying oh my god it's not your answer uh okay so when is your are you happy you already have a wedding plan or are you guys doing a wedding we're not engaged yet i'm planning an engagement i'm about to fucking explode i'm about to explode okay so you haven't you haven't proposed to her yet how long yeah five years five years okay damn i'm not like i'm not like your other colors i'd be going through dumb shit no no you're talking about getting engaged at 20 you're just like the nigga 20 and engaged okay we've been living together too but are y'all in college no we didn't go i didn't go college okay okay okay no that's fine that's fine i ain't gotta go to college and y'all live together you said yeah we live together okay for two years you're 20 you're 20 and then you about to try to go get engaged is it 50 50 i don't see the problem she's a good girl what no no what's it what's like what are your goals though like in life like what do you want to be i just want to be a family man make good money what's her goals what's her goals her goals she just want to be like a vet she won't work with animals and stuff where does she want to live at she wants to be where we get right now okay i think it will work out for them they sound like they want to settle down these niggas no you niggas no no no y'all 20 how old is she but you still give you still were giving like like uh your answers like you you're at same fatherhood when you're not a father that makes you want to they still got potential for disaster the nigga damn you're still in the ball sack this nigga don't need to exist as a kid yet who how old is your girl 19 she'd be 20 oh this this nigga playing come on y'all literally fucking playing house and y'all trying to get engaged bro exactly you don't even fucking drink yet you don't even know they ain't even had alcohol yet what do you do what do you do for when you haven't before they give you 20 before last year what do you do for a living though no i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know you don't have to say like exactly you said what i was drinking throughout high school no what do you do for a living what do you do for a living i'm uh i work at a manufacturer plant i make like i can make good money okay that's what you want to do for the rest of your life hell no i'm gonna do i'm about to start streaming that's my show i swear to god bro if if if this is like if you were like 40 and you were saying some stupid shit like that would have been hung up on you because you 20 you stand on a line with you look though i don't wonder like i'm not real like i'm just be i'll just be vibing though like what do you mean i don't gotta i'm hating what i'm doing right now i'm hating for the rest of my life i can make 30 dollars an hour i'm hating i'm hating all right bro i'm hating you got it right i hope fatherhood keeps making you cry brother because how niggas like how niggas like me supposed to be successful if it ain't stupid niggas like you oh my god because he wants to get married thank thank you man no bro i can't i can't get married and have a be a father ain't that the right way to do it yes but you know that's the right why is that your goal though people have different goals some people's goals not to make money being a family man i just feel like he ain't thought about it he's fucking 20 bro he said he want to start twitching he hasn't he don't even know the main goal though but like i mean my main goal is to have different money revenues i mean i don't have a set goal my dream already got crushed i wanted to play football i'm telling you there's a second wind of life bro why why'd your dream why'd your dreams get crushed i mean do you i'm not the i'm not like oh you just weren't good with some crazy ass athletes no that's fine that's fine that's that's that's just life yeah that's another way to say it but i mean there's other that is other ways to go like when i went to the like the when i went to nfl training camps i don't think especially the first year i wasn't good enough to make the team yeah let's just no no no that's that's all that's just fine i'm talking about this nigga saying like his dreams are crushed nigga that's not a dream that's like playing a lottery yeah because you got to be healthy you got to be good like that dream didn't get crushed you played a lottery number and you didn't win a million dollars that don't mean you like you gotta where the other dreams at twitching you want to you want to be a big streamer is that your goal no i just want to make a little bit bread so your whole thing so you ain't got no no hobbies or nothing you just want to make money really a businessman for real i just want to do i'm like my money revenues all right bro are you still i do research real advice is you're you're young so try everything that's what i'm trying to try everything you're gonna you're gonna fail a lot but there's gonna be no no that no no you some people don't fail some people you have to you're gonna have to go through a little bow i'll never fail you're gonna go through yeah look at ray j you're gonna go through a lot of failures no they didn't i literally still see him a little bit told you this come on now mike you look you're trying to teach a nigga look i said a little bow he he skipped your whole speech he went and said pessimistic yeah he said blow ball i'll do right all right man you have a good one bro man i'm wishing you uh success me me i don't need to make a song just called nightmares good luck last question last question how are you planning the engagement i'm about to like do like a board like a boardwalk by water and shit like with flowers balloons we're like special we're at like is that you already got the place for yeah okay and then and when do you already got the date picked out yeah do you have the ring it's like in two weeks yes i got the ring okay oh shit make sure you get somebody to uh play the saxophones too it's real romantic are you sure she's gonna say yes y'all traumatized with what i hear on this part no no no i'm not traumatized bro no life is great right now but um what uh you're sure she's gonna say yes correct okay no no that's for a minute oh man you have a good one bro wishing you a lot of success man it's gonna be great marriage is a beautiful thing bro like we're probably gonna be wrong 50 of it fails but come on the podcast probably gonna be in a dumps in five years and you're gonna be married and a million dollars you're gonna see me on the street asking for a buck and you're gonna slap the shit out of me like remember you said i wasn't gonna be shit now look at me this is just and i'm gonna hand you some change yep and then you're gonna say this is just i'm not gonna be shit now look at me this is a hypothetical i'm actually miserable all right bro you have a good one all right brody what'd he do not too much how y'all been pretty good pretty good man good bro i got a i got a question for you you know how you been what's something that's funny but shouldn't be bro i think people get hit by cars it's hilarious okay make it funny for us okay so you're you're you're let's say you're standing on the sidewalk right i'm not gonna make you get hit by the car don't worry so you're standing on the side i don't like you handling me like you're safe bro let me get on the sidewalk myself okay go ahead all right i'm on the sidewalk all right and then you see somebody across the street and they get smacked by a u-haul truck yeah like bro how you not see that bro it's a fucking u-haul truck they don't gotta die it's just funny to get hit by a car like it's big as shit congrats on the baby mike oh great save brother thank you man appreciate it no i'm bringing a kid into like right after that hypothetical it's just like very demonic of you i was trying to feel the science that's my bad it's cool i i respect it though it's good you came back with a positive yeah after all that negative you ever you like you never seen nobody get hit by a car in real life have you i mean not really but my aunt lost her leg in a car accident and i'm like oh my god i'm sorry i said well she was like 13 she got hit by a car was that funny like when you hear the story is it funny i mean a little bit yeah it's a car what do you do for a living bro y'all talk to me i'm the starbucks barista oh how's that like how's that going honestly bro i'm trying to quit does anybody work out with starbucks i thought you i thought you quit no i didn't quit oh shit oh oh he's supposed to be taking off with his hoop career yes yes yes he never responded bro oh i responded No, you didn't, bro Yes, I did What did I respond? With nothing? Exactly Okay, so, like, you can just tell me I don't got it No, man I need you to start making coffee again I didn't stop, bro I just got off, like, two hours ago No, I literally, like, went After I watched your highlight tape I went and looked up the ingredients to a chai latte Because I was just gonna I was like, man, I gotta make this up to him Maybe I'll pop up at the Starbucks Yeah, that's true And give him the news in person And I was just thinking, like, what can I order when I'm there? As I'm giving him the news that he should just Yeah, he should stay with Starbucks All right, well, thanks for the news, bro I was waiting on it Anywho, like, so, nobody's recognized you? Because I feel like that video's pretty viral No, not really Do you tell people about the video? Or do you kind of, like, hide the fact that it's you? I mean, it's not like It's not like all my Instagram and my bio and shit But, like, if people ask, like, I tell them We got it We can send you over, like, a little clip highlight tape Shit of it I mean, yeah, my highlights weren't good enough So I could use a new tape All right, man Maybe you could take this somewhere, like, a hooping barista He gotta be, like, the You're probably the best hooper that's a barista right now At Starbucks Intramurals? Yeah Collette All right, man You have a good one, brother Hey, y'all too, bro Appreciate it All right Hello Oh, yes Hey Okay Yo, you good? Yeah, I was trying to figure out if I called y'all or y'all called me Nah Shit, you heard me Y'all been calling us You a little You a little controlling I'm excited, yeah You controlling We can tell you're controlling in your relationship Welcome to Crash Demi's Podcast Try not to be Nah, it's okay You can be controlling Okay, talk about it Okay So, I have a question for you, though Okay Do you like the way Mike talked to you? Oh, my God Do you face fire? I can't handle it Yes, you can Yes, you can You don't know if she can actually handle it Whoa I'm just saying, you can't speak for me, though What are you gonna do? No, I'm just saying Don't go Don't go Don't go Don't go extra hard for the scenario, though We still trying to have fun here, y'all Mm-hmm Go ahead, go ahead Yeah, okay All right What's the craziest thing you witnessed being at somebody else's house? Okay So, a few years ago Maybe, like, two years ago I was dating We're in our 40s Whoa, whoa, whoa Say it, start over My bad I said, like, two years ago I was dating this guy We were in our 40s So, this is an ex And he always came across Like, as a sneaky-ass nigga So, one day he comes in from work I'm asleep But I'm watching him move around He goes in the kitchen I hear him throwing shit away He goes to take a shower So, I sneak out the bed Like, real quiet So, detective shit I open the trunk Trash can And pull out shitty-ass drawers The worst part That was the start of Me finding Shitty-ass drawers Like, every fucking month Yes Horrible A grown-ass man Did you ever bring this up to him? Shitting in his drawers Huh? Did you ever bring this up to him? Okay, so, listen We actually just broke up And I just Just moved out his house Oh, recently? The end of June Okay, no I got a question for you Because you got You got a lot of energy Okay On him right now A lot of shit going on Yeah, yeah, yeah A lot of shit was going on Let me get on my detective shit Okay Okay, okay When you first found the underwear To The time that you broke up How long was that timeline? That's a good question I was gonna ask Maybe like a year A year I know, it's crazy, right? Yes, yes So, like You gotta tone down Your energy just a little bit Because He Mr. Shitty But you was Ms. Shitty That's so Just by proximity Oh, my God So, when you brought it up to him What'd he say, though? She was finding them bitches Like Easter eggs I never brought it up to him Oh, you didn't? It was like, you know You gotta have something In your pocket For when you need it, right? Uh-huh So, I had recorded the shit And anytime I see, like His shitty-ass drawers I would take pictures of it Right? Right Because I knew this nigga Was cheating, too So, I said I'm gonna get this nigga So, when I moved out He kept denying it Wait, wait, wait Wait, wait, wait He was cheating on you, too? Yes Oh, my God And the nigga Had a loose booty Wait, wait, wait Hold on That girl must have been Wait, wait, wait That girl must have been Fucking the shit out of him He could have been Or a nigga was He had a loose booty Oh, no Don't start that, Ms. Shitty You know Don't do that Wait, how A loose booty Did the other Did the other girl know that He was in a relationship? Or was he lying to both of y'all? He was probably lying He was real sneaky Sneaky I wonder if I wonder if he was I wonder if he was throwing Away his shitty drawers In the girl that he was Cheating on's house, as well Or were you I don't know Was your place Just a disposal place? I was I stayed with him Yeah, I stayed with him So, it was like Where he disposed Of the shitty-ass drawers Okay, so, like Have you ever seen him Make the drawer shitty? I've never seen him Make the drawer shitty So, they just appear Out of nowhere You had never spent The whole day with him? When he would Take a bath, I guess When he took off his shit A bath? He would put him in a closet He took baths? Or a shower There was times He took baths Oh, my God I guess to, you know Warm up his You know, get his ass together It was probably sore I don't know That nigga That nigga was making Doodle soup In your tub And you was going Right back in the shower And that shit So, when you broke When you guys When you find out You guys broke up, right? Did you ever bring up The shitty drawers to him? I sent him a message A real filthy-ass message To let him know Filthy-ass That he needs to learn How to clean his fucking ass And stop leaving Funky-ass booty holes On a toilet Whenever he took his shit Yeah, I don't like that Because Because you loved Those booty crumbs At some point A year is a long time You know what? Listen I had got myself I had got myself In a shitty situation Yeah, yeah And it was like It was too late That girl was dating Pooh Shiesty So I wouldn't have seen it Wait, what? That girl was dating Pooh Shiesty No, Poop Shiesty Oh, man That's crazy I was in a situation Oh, man No, that's a crazy situation It was horrible So what kept you there? Like, obviously He was doing something That kind of like Outweighed his His shittiness It was You know I got myself In a situation I did And I didn't want to be an adult I know it may sound crazy But I didn't pay no bills So I was in there Wait, hobo Hobosexual? No I'm just trying to job And shit like that He told me I have to pay bills So what? So why would I pay him? Oh, so you was just Stacking up? Yeah Stacking up So I'm just saying like You seen the booty crumbs And you found the drawers And then you were still Making love to him? Oh, that's another thing Listen Y'all gonna have to just Put me on a podcast Cause I got stories to tell Sure You on it right now Because this nigga Was cheating First of all He had ED Okay Hems pills Rose spark pills All over the place That's why I'm saying While you're sitting on this That shit was fucking up his stomach That shit was fucking up his stomach No, that shit was getting to That rhino pill had Get some diarrhea Or some shit Exactly So it was like We had stopped having sex For like a whole fucking year Oh, man You stopped having sex Yeah, you wasn't You ain't had sex for a year Man Nigga was able to maintain Two relationships But couldn't maintain His bowel movements That nigga's That nigga's the goat Oh, I'm a dick Oh, I'm a dick And he had to schedule His fucks Oh, he has to schedule them Because you got Yeah, he has ED Oh, I guess Because he can't pop He got to know When to pop the pill Yeah, yeah Yeah, you got 30 minutes He pop it at 4 o'clock You late Talking about Where you at? Wasting my prescription Yeah For the rhino going on That's definitely Why he was shitting himself Oh, they must have been Yeah, maybe so They must have been Fucking hard He had to be Yeah, ED He had to be taking Like two at a time You know He was coming home And wore all this shit He had a prescription They was coming in Every week Every week But again, you stay with him Because you can't You can't clown him for ED Because you were there Through his ED And he was He was coming home He was coming home Tired as hell too He was having a long ass day He got shit in his drawers He got a full of shit And then he got a deal with you I know he was sick He was He was sick of me Well, you found them drawers And I was sick of his Shitty ass drawers What was you finding If I didn't imagine. I never, we never asked that question. Oh my God, one day I walked in a closet. And I said, what the fuck is that smell? Oh, no. So he wasn't throwing them away in the trash? No. He only threw away one pair and then everything else he would put in a dirty clothes. Did he do his own laundry? So bad. Listen, at first I was doing his laundry and then he was like, no, I don't want you to wash my clothes. Every time I took his clothes out the dryer, he had great like drawers. Baby, you need to buy yourself some black ones or something. Because the gray ain't for you. Oh, no. He made the tie a tie. That's what he used. Tie. And it wasn't working. Oh, my God. That's bad marketing for them. Hey, Katie, get this nigga's shit saved up. So when you told him about his shady drawers, what was his response to that? Did he deny it? His response was, I'm going to send y'all what I sent him too. His response was. For the sake of your career and your record, you need to get out of my house today. Oh, after you showed him his shitty underwear. Yeah. No, I didn't see him in his drawers. But I know he know I got pictures of it because he a bitch because he'll try to press charges. Yeah. He's a weirdo. I'm taking pictures of his underwear? Oh, yeah. That's like revenge porn or something like that. Nah. It could be anybody. It could be anybody. You have to prove it. You're going to have to go to a deposition and actually say those are his. That's not shit right there. That is mine. I want to D and H us. The shit's match, ma'am. You're going down. No, that's crazy. I think the wild thing, which you need to take the most offensive is that he wasn't putting them in the same place. Like he didn't put them in bags. He didn't put them in trash. He sent you. He sent your ass on the Easter egg hunt. I bet you they was like, I bet you had polka dot drawers, striped drawers. No, that was all gray. That was all gray? Every pair was gray or blue, gray or blue, gray or blue. And they got a system. What brand? I don't even know. Even a blue one had shit stains in them. That's wild. I think it was Hanes. It don't matter what canvas this nigga got. Yeah. He's going to paint on that bitch. He's going to paint on a picture for sure. Nah. I think he was trying to hide them in different places on purpose. Like he noticed the pie was missing. So he was like, I got to find somewhere new. It was horrible. He was trying to make it evenly stink around the whole house. He's like. Man, this shit. I just don't get that. I don't know where it's coming from. He didn't like the ambience of it all being in one spot. He said. Because it sounded like he was. Why didn't you just put it in the washing machine right away? No, no. Why is he throwing it away in the fucking house? Why is he hiding them? He liked that shit. In the kitchen trash can. How did you, but how did you live there though? That's what I'm talking to you, Miss Shitty. How did you live there? Listen, the house was clean. It was just him. Like he was nasty. No, the house was not fucking clean. It was clean. No, it was clean because I would clean it. I would have someone come in and clean. It was just him. Can I ask you something? And he said, he was like, yes, sir. Go ahead. Like how many times, how many times did you go to the toilet seat and wipe out booty crumbs? How many times? Listen. Oh, my fucking God. I had to keep a bottle of Clorox spray next to it because I couldn't even sit. Like I wouldn't have to squat if I didn't clean it. Oh, because the crumbs would get on your booty. I had like shit on the back of the fucking toilet. Like, nigga, you nasty. I told him that too. Oh, is this a nigga? Bad nigga. Oh, man. A shitty ass nigga. I swear, I kept it by the toilet. Did you learn any lessons from this relationship that you're going to carry into your next relationships? Yes. Yes, I did. What? Keep some dude wipes or something for the ass. No, you like, that's a long time for you to say that's still suspect by you. I'm glad you out of it. But it's definitely. It's definitely something like girls dating the underwear. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I ignore some red flags. Red flags, brown flags. Yeah, red flags, brown flags, shitty flags, all the flags. Legit, you could make a flag out of his underwear. But they haven't like six months into the relationship. I had already moved from another place. And I'm like, oh, I fuck myself. Yeah, I know. Oh, my God. You must love UPS. Fucking brown dude for you, baby. That shit, that shit, you had to like that shit. Because it's like. I did not. I didn't. Yeah. I did not. I just had to do what I had to do. I mean, we wasn't fucking, so. He was fucking. That girl must have been going. Oh, he's the kicker. No, he was not letting that subscription go to waste. He wasn't. And like one time. When we were internet. This nigga had to. I don't know if he had just took a shit or what. He had the room smelling like shit. This was it. No, no, no, no, no. Wait a minute, baby. I'm getting a cramp. I don't think you know how it works. Like with two people have sex, you become one. Y'all had the room smell like shit. No, no. Yeah. His ass. He was on me. You knew what he was about. And I was like, this is where I first started talking. No, this was like in the beginning. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? That make it even worse. He was shitty. I didn't want to embarrass him. He was shitty from the beginning. And you kept up with it for a whole year. Clearly. She said embarrass him. Clearly. Oh, damn. I was trying to be nice. How old were you? I know what she's saying, dog. How old were you when this happened? 40. 41. And it was like new. So I was like, what the fuck? How did they know? Nigga didn't know how to wipe his ass. How old is he? How old is he? He was 41 at the time, too, or 42. Damn. None of y'all got kids? His kids are 24 and 25, and mine is 20. That's crazy. This man lived a regular life like this. Yeah. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope he's listening to this shit. Shitty bitch. Oh, shit. Might be a good time for a Depends commercial. Oh, that'd be great. Oh. That's a good ad. I'm going to send y'all some shit, because that's how I am. Because I was tired of dealing with that shit. And then you try to be rude to me, and you be cheating. I know. But I feel like the thing that bothered me is what I say to sometimes. Yes, just get on him about the cheating. Because I feel like you're going too hard on the shitty draws. Because I feel like if you wouldn't have cheated, you would still be with him. No, it was everything. But if he didn't cheat, are you 100% sure? Yeah. 100%, you wouldn't be with him. I wouldn't have been with him. It was a lot of stuff I didn't like. I stopped liking him. Got it. Because he was a liar, for one. Then he was missing side teeth. I don't like that. So, it was so much going on, not working in his favor. I think he just had poor hygiene. All right. The girl was dating a dirty bubble. It was just too much going on. No, we got you. Oh, my God. All right. You got a message for the Brown Ranger? Happy birthday, you shitty bitch. Oh, it's his birthday? Tomorrow. No, Tuesday. I know the club's about to be stinking. Yeah, happy birthday, you shitty bitch. That nigga about to have the shittiest section. I'm like, what the fuck? All right, you have a good one. All right, y'all too. Bye. Bye. Hello? You remember me? Who? You remember me? Do we remember you? Do I remember you? Who the fuck? No, Mike, I'm the pool guy. I'm the pool guy. Oh, shit. You know Mike? What you and Mike do? Nah, so. Oh, you're on live. No, I don't try to change it, bro. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. And then I said, like, Pat and I might be related because we got the same last name. Yeah, I remember you. You don't sound like a Johnson, though. No, I remember you. Did you quit? Because you said you were going to. You said that was your last day. That was my last week. But yeah, I saw my new job. What does he do? Cleans pools. Oh, and then he was on live with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, this dude don't explain shit. All right. I guess that's the question now. Remember me? He said, do I remember you from a pool cleaner? I'm like, what pool boy was I at? No, I told him I clean pools. I think he was trying to incriminate me. All right. Like Michael Jackson. No, don't be ridiculous. Oh, damn. Okay. What's something you judge people for but secretly do? Low key. I mean, I'll be judging people who be in Arby's, but I secretly eat Arby's behind their back. Behind their back? Yeah. What's your go to at Arby's? I'm a lotto. I'll give me something like curly fries. And like, I used to eat the steak nuggets. I didn't even know they have steak nuggets. I've never been to Arby's, so I don't know. I tried the steak nuggets. They have steak. What is a steak nugget? Like legit what it sounds like? Just cut up little pieces, like steak bites. It's just cut up like steak bites. Yeah. And they had a Philly cheesesteak, but I didn't eat that. Why are you a closeted Arby's eater? Arby's gives a lot of backlash. - I mean, steak nuggets will do it. deserves a little bit of backlash but okay so why are you judging people then that they eat arby's is that shit kind of nasty if you think about it are you liking them roast beef sandwiches i feel like i feel like you should more go that way than some steak there i mean the steak nuggets wasn't really my primary ghost or like i'll be getting like the sliders there or like a wrap and the curly fries but i don't eat like the roast beef sandwiches how tall are you i'm 5 11 no i tell you are you for real bro come on i'm 5 11 why would i lie pat how much you weigh i don't weigh a lot i'm like 145 there we go i know he's like an itty bitty nigga i just couldn't tell how i am an itty bitty nigga protein what's your next job gonna be uh i work with kids oh yeah you did say that okay so i kind of like do like like teaching and stuff like that which is pretty cool i don't remember i remember our conversation all right yeah yeah you got a girl i do i do have a girlfriend how long you been dating her we've been together for eight months uh the 12th just passed so we've been dating for eight months does she eat arby's she actually is the one that put me on um yeah so she got she got you eating two different kinds of roast beef oh that's crazy that was crazy that was that was really horny no um yeah she did put me on uh arby's but she wants me to eat like other stuff she don't cook but i was like not what the fuck no i cook she doesn't no no i'll be honest she doesn't cook i could that's crazy not saying she cooks or not no that's kind of misogynistic no if she wants you to eat other stuff it looks like like wait what does she want she don't cook do she clean bro so that's crazy i'm not i'm not trying to i'm not trying to sound like that type of person like we're like complete opposites like i do a lot of like cooking and cleaning and other stuff like that but i'm not she's really more of like she'll like do take out and all the other stuff oh shit oh shit oh give her the phone now we thought we talked to the man in the house no no no no don't raise your tone with me before you check in with her bro that's understandable um but no so i she doesn't like cooking i i enjoy cooking yeah yeah you wear glasses bro yeah yeah i used to i used to wear glasses i used to wear glasses okay all right what's so like i used to how comfortable is that chair in your bedroom because he cooks and cleans i know that seat comfortable as hell in that bedroom you just the best view it is very very comfortable i'd be like playing my game like once i'm done cooking i don't think you get his joke oh never mind i get it now does your statement still stand no i've never seen that before a cuck that games while it's going on multitasking they can talk about green machine somebody in the back like oh my god no no a lot of people think i'm a square a lot of people think i'm a square though he can't pay attention his girl getting back shots and he getting backdoored on the game at the same time watch the cut bro don't give a fuck what people say bro no yeah no it's been like that since like it is what it is i like i brush it off i brush it off i'll do you how many times did you brush it off man it's getting heavy this is not a therapy session i was asking i was answering this one question 23 23 oh bro come on bro yeah i'm 23 you know what i mean you know what i mean if another 23 year old is calling you corny bro nine times out of 10 he corny too bro we all were corny at at some point who who called him corny he said people were calling him corny oh why people were calling me like 20 a corny and square oh yeah i ain't call you corny no no no he was you wasn't saying you oh okay i just called him a cuck no no i wasn't i wasn't saying that pat i wasn't oh okay i think you a dope dude i just think you're a cuck it's okay yeah i've been listening that got nothing to do with me either if you're a cuck you know what i'm saying if somebody no no no no no it's about me and your relationship you know what i'm saying pat i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm not a cuck it don't matter it's just about me and your relationship i'm not i'm not in your business might care i don't i'm not i'm not i don't care what you do like you like you say if you say you're not one you're not one but i don't know bro i don't know i'm like i don't know where else to go from here i don't know it's crazy what no i'm not i know i'm like i'm saying i'm not that's what i'm saying he think you is too or he would just just say you don't think he's not then make a firm statement are you a cuck no you say no okay he's not a cuck i believe him no say it four sentence i believe he's not a cuck i believe this person on the phone is isn't a cuck i don't believe you all right this thing is this thing is a cuck bro all right bro yo what's good what'd it do what'd it do there's no one i'm actually on this podcast before you know y'all get to the question uh i listen to y'all every time i work out hit cardio uh i just love y'all show make way on make way on make way on the runway everybody you can't you gotta remember you can't you can't compliment pat i appreciate you bro another mdr in the building i appreciate you bro thanks thanks for sweating thanks for sweating while you listen to fast fast fast dick rider fast dick rider i'm actually i'm actually driving right now but usually i'm usually listening to y'all on the treadmill you know oh man dick driving the one except oh my god i appreciate you bro i got a question for you uh what's something you judge oh yeah what's what's something you judge people for but secretly do okay so i secretly judge men who are into like uh that cuck fetish but secretly i'd be the one like you know making their satisfying their pleasures you know uh say one more time uh so i'll be i'll be i judge men that have cuck fetishes are in um but i used to be the ones in bed with like their wives and stuff oh so you're the one doing the tucking i'm the bull basically the bull okay okay new lingo here so as the bull what was that noise you got nervous getting nervous okay turning up almost yeah so when you're driving so you know you're good so when you're doing um keeping in your pants when you're doing the act right is the other is the husband in the room with y'all right usually they're usually in the room or in a different room usually in their office you know but usually they aren't in the room there's times where they're in the office you know and there are they directly on the game you know are they directing you through through things uh usually they sometimes they'll just be sitting there and they will tell me to get in a different position with the like the wives or the girlfriends or whatever like give us an example okay so let's say i'm in bed let's say so okay this is gonna be a little tmi but i'm on the way to one of the to a friend's house if you know what i'm saying oh you're on the way to be the to be a bull i said when he was doing all that shit he was turning him on a little bit too early he got work to do off the ride now where you're where you're pre-game yeah no that's all foreplay i gotta text i gotta text from the girl that you should just come over right now okay go back to go back to how they even talk to you like you having interactions with the man okay so let's just say on the bed usually they'll sit down on the chair you know you could just be watching or doing something else and they'll just be like you know what i want y'all to get and i want you to put in a different position they don't call out the position like this position they just call it out usually it'll call it out it's called a play the memes are a little are a little you know true they're not usually like telling you to like go a little faster but they usually tell you like like if they want you in a certain position they won't tell you they're like getting that position now what kind of chair do they usually uh i've seen a stool usually there's like a like a just an office chair you know usually they're like no feet on the ground it's crazy they like to spin a little bit with it you know what i'm saying what what what got you into this it was accidental actually like like i accidentally got into this so i got i had a friend in high school that uh they used to be friends with an ex of mine and we've been friends we were friends for a long time like i genuinely just saw her as a friend and on a random on a random wednesday at 9 a.m., on my way to class. I'm at college right now. She shoots me a text saying some diabolical stuff. And she wanted to experiment. I'm like, you know what? I got nothing going on. Let me add a little bit of spice to my life. And have you been in a relationship recently or are in one? No, I actually don't want a relationship right now, actually. So you love this job, huh? You know, I wouldn't say I love it, but I like it. It's a job. That's what I was going to ask, too. Oh, are you getting paid? Oh, I'm not getting paid. I'm doing this for the love of the game, you know? Oh, man. Is it usually the same couple or is it like different couples? Right now, this is the same couple, but usually you'll get your different ones, you know? I've only been around like three couples. Where are they finding you? He's wasting his time. Uh. The internet. I'll say sometimes, usually dating apps, it's usually harder on dating apps. I'll say that. Got it, got it. No. When you're on a dating app, what does your profile say then as a guy that lets people know that? It's just a regular, honestly, it's just a regular profile. Honestly, they'll have to reach out to you first, usually. You know, that's how I actually got into it. My friend reached out to me asking if I wanted to experiment. Oh, this is your friend. Okay. So, okay, that's the question I was going to ask. So, have you ever been into the girl? Like, are you into the girl that you're doing this with? Is that part of the reason why you're doing it for free? I mean, you honestly got to be into the girl, you know? You're not just going to force yourself into a situation. No, I mean, like, into the girl, like, damn, I wish I could have her right now without the guy being there. Oh, no, no, no, that seems to be like a bad mentality to get yourself into. I ain't going to lie, from what I've heard from different people within that. So, you need the other guy there. The guy has to be there for you to do it. Nah, no, no, no, no. That's what you just told me. Not for me, no. What do you mean? Like, he has to know. Like, what if the girl tries to approach you like, hey, I want to do this on the side. I don't want him to know. I mean, they usually know, like, you know. It's an open relationship, if you know what I'm saying. I just gave you a scenario, and then you went out of my scenario. Answer my shit, bro. Okay, okay, okay. Answer the question again, Lucky. My bad, my bad, Mike. My bad. It's cool, little nigga. It's Mike. That's Pat. All right. Okay, bro. So, let's say she want to have sex outside of the cuck part. Would you do that? I mean, I probably would. I probably would. I'm not going to lie with you. I probably would. So, like, what? So, that's what I'm saying. I don't get, like, do you do it for being a cuck, or are you doing it because. Because it's somebody's wife? Like, what's the love for her? I mean, I guess because it's somebody's wife, you know? I personally will not, in the future, like, let's say I were to get into a relationship, I would not be doing that. Yeah, we don't know that. You know? I'd probably do it because it's somebody's wife, you know? You starting habits, though, man. It's not good. Yeah. It isn't, you know. I do, I do gotta, I do, Lucky gotta stop, like, soon. You should stop right now. Now, he on his way already. He wasting gas money, nigga. He wasting gas. You're not getting paid for this shit. You're not even getting gas money. That's what I'm saying. I mean, I get paid in food sometimes, you know? They'll buy me food and shit, you know? He's gonna eat at Arby's. No, no, no. You let that nigga feed you pudding while you give his wife back shots. Nah, usually they ask me what kind of food I want, or they'll cook for me, like, oh, shit. Yeah, he's trying to get some protein in his nigga's system. He'll probably give you electrolysis shit. And this is your friend, right? That's crazy. And this is your friend. No, but usually they'll ask me, like, like, usually, like, let's say, like, last time, like, they fed me, like, a full-course breakfast meal. They fed me. Is that how it works? That's crazy. I usually make sure, usually on my cheat days, I usually make sure it's on my cheat days. I think I got a rider for it. For cooking. Have you ever been in a situation where a guy has made you uncomfortable? No, no, like, I think I'm looking, you know. All your guys behaved? They usually behave, like, I suppose. Maybe not anything out of pocket, you know. Yeah, that's how, did they hype you up? Did they, like, physically touch you while you were in the act? Not in a, not in a, not in a sexual, not in a sexual way, not in a sexual way, like a high five, yeah. A high five? Or, like, a dap, something. Maybe, like, a dap, not a high five, but, like, a dap. A pat on the back? Nah, a dap is crazy. And what do, like, what do they wear? Are they fully clothed? I mean, yeah, they're usually fully clothed, you know. These niggas coming in in suits and shit, just sitting down. Peeking through the door and shit. Just a regular ass fit, you know, usually, so usually they just have me record, honestly. I guess, but, okay, I guess my thing would be, what's the interaction after? Like, let's say the guy is in his office, right? Then you do whatever you do with his wife. Let's say y'all just finished. Give us a timeline from you just finished, and then you're leaving. Like, what's the timeline? Uh, like, 15, 30 minutes. I don't try to hang around too long. Like, what are you doing? Like, walk us through it. Walk us through it a little, nigga. He said that's when the food gets there. You know, you're like, you know what, you know, it went pretty well, you know. So you start talking about some random bullshit, and then I'll be out the door. Okay. I try not to make it too long, because then it gets awkward, you know. So is the intro a little bit longer than the outro? Yeah, the intro is a little bit longer now, like, you know, like, how you been, you know, how's your day? How's your day going? How's work? How's class? How long is the intro? Do they, like, set something up? Like, you eat dinner with them or watch a movie with them first? Uh, like, an hour, hour and a third. You watch a movie, sit down, talk. So when you watch a movie, is it with everybody, or just you and her? Uh, so usually, like, the first hour is all together, and then, you know, like, 30 minutes before ends, you know. It's with the girlfriend or wife, you know. Nah, you making a move on his girl while y'all watching a movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I try not to, you know. Usually, they be the ones who, like, you know, like, it's time, you know. I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, the dude just be like. He be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. He don't remember both of y'all. What you doing after this, bro? You know, I'll leave y'all to it, you know. I'll be in the office. Nah, that's too crazy. Oh, so you stay there and why they have sex, too? No, that's not. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, you went to the office where he was staying at, though. No, he went to the office. No, he goes to the office. Got it, got it, got it. He goes to the office or somewhere else. Got it, got it. Yeah. All right. All right, bro. Happy cucking, I guess. Good luck, man. You know, I appreciate those kind words, you know. Man. Man. Man. You got life cucked up, bro. That shit gonna come back to haunt you. All right, bro. You have a good one. It probably might. I ain't gonna lie, bro. No, it won't, but it's good. It might. All right, man. Oh, I got a new saying from you. This is from a tweet, too. What? It's clit. Huh? It's clit. Like, ask me how the party was. How was the party? It was clit. Like, a clitoris? Nah, like crazy lit. Oh. That shit was clit. It was clit. You don't think that's gonna stay? No. But I'm just saying, like, the thing about when words. It was clit. Crazy lit. It sounded like somewhere in the middle. Clit. It was clit. It was clit? How is clit somewhere in the middle? Clit the main thing, like. All right. Because it could be a synonym. Crazy lit. Honestly, I wouldn't even think. That's like Darty, I feel you. Huh? Huh? The Darty was clit. Whoa, what are we talking about here? Oh, the day party. The Darty was crazy lit. Oh, the Darty was clit. Oh, that's fire. No, it's not. Hey, I feel. I don't know why I feel Canadian saying, like, yo, the Darty was clit. Is that where we heard Darty at? Huh? Darty's been, like, in America for a while, I feel like. I've never heard Darty. I've never heard Darty before. Day party? But where was it where somebody was explaining that to me? Catalina Wine Mixer was a Darty. But we didn't call it a Darty. Yeah, they called it a Darty, bro. You've heard a Darty before? I mean, I've been hearing it recently, and it's been bothering me a lot. But that's, like, everything recently is, like, that's the internet, like, coming up with, like. Bro, Darty's been around, bro. You heard clit online. Clit? Man, I see a clit. What the fuck is he talking about? I ain't hearing no clit online, nigga. Crazy lit? That's not even. That's not even how you would describe a party. Like, if I say, hey, bro, I was, uh. How was the bars last night? Crazy. It was lit. You wouldn't say. It was clit. No, you wouldn't say that. It was clit, bro. I wouldn't think this nigga is lying, bro. Bro, it was clit. If this nigga told me if this shit was crazy lit, bro, like, what are you talking about? What? Hey, I got something for you. What? You know why you can't get it? Why? Because it was clit, and you missed it. And you couldn't find it. Couldn't find it. I couldn't find the clit. He can't find the clit. He ain't clit. Bitch, you ain't clit. No. Bitch, I'm clit. Rub me wrong? Bitch, I'm clit. Can't find it, nigga. Bitch, I'm clit. Hey. Stimulating. Bitch, I'm clit. Yeah. Penetration. Nah, bitch, I'm clit. Nah, wrong hole-ass nigga. Whoa. come on man yo was the party man it was anal bro what do you mean no it was shitty bro it was very shitty oh man no that cliche gonna stick bro come on now another thing i started learning on the road trip that we're on is that i feel like you start to play songs that you didn't even fuck with just to tell me that you put me on what song was that i forgot obviously no oh that's you read me what you right because it's that song that everybody liked but i can't get into i think you got ytb fat on there little yachty they just made that bitch and it's lit but it's not something like i'm clicking on yeah yeah you're right though yeah you played it but i knew that i knew the masses like this was good i knew the masses like this song was good but i was like oh this nigga this nigga trying to like say he put me on to something song in case i ever use this you did the same thing i just i just closed my ears bro you did the same thing this isn't this nigga is such a hypocrite you literally did the same thing with the skrilla little yachty song what happened when he said like uh bikini bottom you you put me on to the song and you don't listen to that shit i do listen to it no you don't yes i do i do listen no you don't bro no you don't i do listen to it i never put it as a caption i never huh you never put it as another patrick do it oh really go layman fuck that's the lamest patrick i know nigga lame literally only follow his name because the name patrick johnson nigga lame as fuck you use that bitch now pat got a uh notes app of captions that shit i do i do got some too though if y'all ever need an ig caption literally dm me that's one dm i will respond to send me your dump and i swear to god i gave you i pride myself let me hear one huh let me hear one all right let me should i explain the type of picture i'm posting yeah i'm all right i'm gonna do some some live show probably some live show uh pictures okay live show all right maybe am i fresh yeah okay then it's me okay that's that's the caption no no no go ahead it'll be a dump there uh i might you know it might be a uh a picture of my girl on there too girl yeah yeah i might do some more like naturey stuff when we we did the little nature little stop that we did oh yeah yeah with the lake and shit gotta post one yeah yeah and then like a boxing clip as well yeah all those like so like so your girl you know i'm saying that's your future you know i'm saying that's something you dreamed of right you dreamed of the relationship you in now yeah you dreamed of when you was a little kid you like damn this is the type of relationship i want right then you're boxing like think about like how ass you used to be and then how good you is now that was like a dream right to be that good live shows think about how ass the podcast used to be think how lit it is now okay you came a long way that's what that's all for right and then the nature shit you know look where look where your neighborhood i just went back to your old neighborhood look like dog shit over there and then just like look what you just saw you know i'm saying no it looked like it's shitty over there so it's like my old neighbor did you live in now no oh the old neighborhood uh walt disney no don't say that no good area no it looked like shit over there no no come on bro i'm saying compared to nature go ahead bro it's the city my nigga and it's not even downtown that is downtown i literally all right okay go ahead all right um right that's everything that you dreamed of right five years ago when your life was shitty as hell when you was broke as fuck when you were sleeping on my liver oh my god seven days why did your time get lower every time because i honestly i'll say two weeks before i don't think it was even that long it was two weeks no i don't even trust me i was counting down the days no it was like nine days or some shit it was an odd ass day with you though before that's two business what'd you say with me when i came back from minnesota i saved with you like two days broke ass nigga bro hey hey save that nigga's life for your days though huh i said that your days yeah so i say so i say you stayed at my place like 11 days go it go down to nine so you stay with me nine days rent free i ain't charged this nigga nothing i ain't charged with nothing either bro you charge me everything this nigga this nigga was coming back from a program my nigga was down bad his the football program he chose that they eliminate that shit they say hey all y'all niggas are gone that's how i was at coaching they like we can't just fire this nigga matter of fact fuck the football program we gotta get rid of this nigga go ahead though we got the caption um no come on now but i was i had a severance package one yeah yeah so i was getting paid and then i'll substitute teaching bag and then i had just signed something else bag i had three jobs nigga terry cruz nigga um wait what i'm talking about so them all your dreams you used to be broke as fuck you got let me finish your book okay bro i cannot tell that story out adding no sauce to it bro nigga had two outfits go ahead what's the cap nigga had uh what's that company used to work for manpower johnson controls your johnson control nigga had a johnson controls button up two different two different colors and a nigga used to use a spaghetti string backpack that they gave him i was like no i didn't that nigga down back hey you see a nigga with that no i didn't if you see a nigga with that backpack that nigga is broke now we now we going because i you did you sent me a first day uh to work picture one time when you started working at uh was i broke look no i would say you weren't broke i had already got my first check yeah yeah yeah yeah but you had your like you had a little uh suitcase nigga for no reason yeah you did have a backpack he had the shit he was holding it's still up on the internet i had a backpack okay what's the what's the cap which is like which i which i feel like a briefcase no you didn't have a briefcase i had a backpack as a teacher nigga look stupid what's the caption okay it's only a dream if you leave it on a pillow tough okay no if i see a nigga with that i'm killing you not just one i would never do that but i'm just saying don't use my caption though because i think that's gonna be mine though it's only a dream if let's see let's see let's see his pat left it stole this look at that look at that you can't sign you can't see shit wait it's a famous lick from the song dreams by the american rock band fleetwood mac release year in 1977 it just came out we probably thought of it at the same time not just my niggas legends oh man that's funny fleetwood mac is literally legends but 229 million yes bro i'm gonna use it what's dream play that real quick obviously bro you literally heard it before we're gonna mute this anyway okay i know this song okay more more tweets all right okay tweet a week um i just shit max my pants after trying to fart mog someone it's getting out of hand the mogging this don't don't worry about the tweet okay what what i'm worried about is like i feel like you only can be unk if you allow it yeah okay like by age technically unk like literally i tried to fight the shit and somebody called me unk and i'm like man shut the fuck up how old are you because usually people that call me unk they 28 29 i'm like bro you right there with me yeah you know what i'm saying but nigga said 20 yeah i said oh i'm really your uncle so it's just like i really try to fight it like with different stuff and i try to keep up with the trends i'm not gonna let nobody just call me unk but shit max and fart mog that's where you draw the line i might have to get that kango it might be time bro i might get the kango suspenders shit mog and but but fucking clit is not where it's not where you can stand at it's clit bro it's niggas man it's clit bro that's gonna be the podcast title can we put that in the title without getting demonetized no i don't think so how do you smell that it's clitoris clit clit c-l-i-t type it in jane how do you spell it somebody's name is not that's clint no is it clit eastwood clit clitoris yeah yeah they already know so yeah we can't use that as this i saw a butterfly pop up i was like damn is that the freaking latin name for a butterfly nah man he had a clit landed on me the other day uh clitoral hood is crazy oh okay somebody said i find it so funny when regular ass people have a torn acl and when i say regular because that's what i think the the person means when i say regular i say it happened in a non-athletic situation like at your job because like a construction worker tearing his acl if a construction worker say yeah i tore my acl doing something i'd be like oh that makes sense you were doing something you tore your achilles you had a big ass breaking your hand you step backwards the wrong way or you fell off something cool i'm saying like you work at tj max my nigga and you tore your acl yes it's tough because you know it came from it has to come from like a pure accident yo my nephew was running from a dog and a dog crashed into my knee like charlie brown ass injury i know somebody that ruptured their achilles falling down their stairs in their house no that's crazy like like those those are the unfortunate like getting those type of athletic injuries usually quote unquote now you're in rehab for nine months and you probably like especially the people that may be in rehab for nine months and you probably like especially the people that may be in rehab for nine months and you probably like especially the people that may be definitely a long road i know a lot of people their acls are still fucked up to this day because they take their rehab the rehab uh seriously the fucked up part is when people um have injuries but it's like those injuries that you only fix if you do something active and they're active like a torn meniscus like sometimes like a lot of people can't even play sports with a torn meniscus yeah so it's like people are not getting shit fixed i probably got a torn meniscus right now but i ain't fixing that shit that should go out every fourth game of basketball i think once you hit 30 you start thinking about like the pros and cons of physical like activities as well yeah like especially like sports like there's some activities where it's like especially now i rupture my achilles it's like does the the feeling of like doing good during this session outweigh the risk of getting hurt sometimes it's like no because obviously boxing is just boxing to me that shit is like second nature you I'm trying to like say like i'm good at football too but like to go and say like want to run a full route right now probably not happening even when i'm even when i'm not feeling well yeah like it don't matter what i'm doing now like i know the difference between not feeling well and the workout being hard yeah like i know my body so if like i'm i'm working out in the workout kicking my ass i'm like no i gotta keep going i gotta fight through it but as a grown man if i got drunk last night and i'm on my ninth round of boxing i feel like i'm about to throw up i'm not about to work through to throw up like i'm not training in the box nowhere i don't have a match coming up i feel like i'm about to throw up i wish a coach would say some shit i'm a grown ass man come on pat don't give up nigga i'm about to throw up shut up go teach the rest of the class i'm about to go sit in my car with the acl to just watch the rest of the class get out when they break it down hold on hold on real quick bring it in yeah team i'm not that type of i've never been that type of athlete either i don't i don't really respond well to the yelling thing like that doesn't really get me like fired up in a sense like i get fired up because she's like but i think it's always the thing that me fired up is like if a coach that don't really yell like that much if he's getting fired up it's like oh shit okay like he he passionate about this shit it's like let's turn up but if it's like a coach that's always yelling and that's their mo it doesn't really hit the same when they start yelling again it's just like all right bro you're just trying to rah rah because we said coach used to make us coach wellman not even wasn't no wellman no wellman i hope you're watching this wellman used to yell it for no reason sometimes like he had some yelling good tactics yeah but sometimes it was just like the you're yelling at me and i'm in competition with somebody else so i got what y'all got mad at him like it'll be like okay let's say it's me versus mike right and mike just ran around and i batted the ball down and me and mike going back at it be like the only reason you batted it down it was a bad ball like i killed you on the route blah blah i'm like that and then the coach comes and yells at you like get on the line like like you see i'm going at it with his name it's us versus them yeah and you yelling at me and he would do that shit in game sometimes like you know i'm saying it just like one time i did something dirty he's like pat don't do that i'm like nigga whose side you on i'm about to rip this nigga face mask off i'm on that dirty shit i have my my fair uh my fair amount of dirty plays on the court that's what i'm saying like i'm not gonna do that shit i'm not gonna do that shit i'm not gonna do that shit i'm not gonna do that shit i'm not gonna do that shit i'm not gonna do that shit i like when a coach i like the the style of like them saying you're not good enough but they know you but you secretly know that they know you're good enough yeah and it's like proving me wrong type shit i like that i feel like i feel like our first coach was well my first well yeah my our first coach he was yelling there was like he was just yelling to yell i would say and i think that some coaches try to use that false uh he was a great coach like i love him but um he's all right yeah some some uh some coaches try to use situations that aren't really there to motivate you like those people walked into your locker room and they're using the bathroom like that's disrespectful like all right but that wasn't for you though you was probably over there like that's some bullshit yeah i'm over there punching a locker like niggas got a fucked up dog our shit then i go in the bathroom and take a shit and take the you know take the spot back no nigga come on the weird thing about d3 football is different than d1 because d1 football you won't see the people you're playing damn near until you're on the field d3 football we all going through the same entrances i've seen i've been at the the urinal next to the people people were about to play right like an hour before the game and shit i've been i've been taped i've been getting taped up next to the starting receiver now about the shadow for the whole game and he over there trying to chop it up and it's like very hard to be mean to people when they come to like he was like yo bro oh y'all feel terrible and i'm like yeah bro i know that shit terrible wait a minute you bitch ass niggas game time no i think too in sports like sometimes they don't let you form your own rivalries like the coaches won't because there'll be teams there's like uh that there's teams that we rivals with that we beat the shit out them every year right but this team we kind of go back and forth every year like no like benedictine those are our real rivals yes they want it to be like this other school but it's like this school is a school that we go back and forth like this is our new rival like this life stop saying this is our new rival this is our new rival this is our we're rivals like everybody should have their own eras of rivals no i think we was right i don't want like inherited beef yeah yeah i don't want yeah i don't want to be cuw my rival it's like no it's a nigga on benedictine i would like to kill yeah like if we didn't know real shit um okay uh it says the sexiest thing a woman can do is not stress a nigga out you know i hate when shit is wrote poorly yeah and it comes off as just like because you'll read the like that and just be like ah that's that's a little boy 23 year old ass saying be his piece but yes but only like be his piece shit i would say like that's the thing like that i take most value to it's just like because life is going to happen yeah and it's about like how good is our connection and how well do you recover from bad shit happening because you can be with somebody and they can have the perfect thing for you y'all y'all the connection is perfect but when something happens to that person it takes them a long time to recover like it could be something you know and it and not to say like you know different people get sad off different shit yeah and it is what it is yeah but you got to pay attention to like how people like recover from stuff and then kind of like scale it up to like what's probably gonna happen you know what i mean it's just like okay you know my girl been in the dumps because you know her dad broke his ankle and he in the house and she's been crying she's been around this bitch it's like bro your dad also 68 you know what i'm saying it's just like that's crazy no i'm just saying no long live him but like let's say let's give him to 98 that's 30 years you know i'm saying like i hope like you damn sure gonna be alive in 30 years and he gonna be gone it's like you're gonna shut down like this all the way like because that's like on a way major scale i just think i just think people don't look at matching that part like the being pessimistic because there's two people that can be pessimistic and optimistic with each other like if you're a pessimistic person go find a pessimistic wife too nigga like pout together yeah but if you're optimistic and you got somebody that's pessimistic i get the yin and yang shit but sometimes they're like people be too like i can't do it like that's like that's always been my pet peeve you got to be just as optimistic as me like both our legs just got cut off in a fucking car accident and right when the am before the ambulance pull up we already on google looking at wheelchair leagues like that's how optimistic we are i ain't no our shit go like what the fuck we pouting for taking your leg all the way over by the k-mart there are situations like i feel i'm a optimistic person k-mart is crazy i feel like i'm an optimistic person but there's some situations where you've been in it's like all right you're a tweener i think i'm very optimistic when it comes to the goals that i have set for myself yeah i say you're a tweener because you're very pessimistic when it comes to other people but you know i do risk assessment you're optimistic to the people you love like if somebody be like um you know you think gene gonna be the best dj in the world one day you'd be like yes you think pat gonna be the best stand-up comedian in the world you'd be like yes you're optimistic for the people that you want to be optimistic for you but if it's somebody outside your circle boy i'm realistic i'm realistic with people outside my circle even the people with inside my circle i'm still somewhat realistic yeah because i i won't no i'm i'm never the type of person that i'll hype you up but i'm not like i don't i guess it's different because i don't i feel like i don't have that many like people that are like my best best friends like outside of like everybody in this room like i don't really talk to anybody like on an everyday basis that you okay you think you think jayvon gonna be a millionaire yes if he puts his mind to it and jayvon in your inner circle yeah you're lucky i can't say nobody outside because like too many people listen to the pop i wish i could on this podcast go ahead just put a person put make a note that bleep name names cover your mouth though um kind of thing somebody that got i gotta think somebody music okay you go make sure you bleep this out okay do you think uh this is gonna be a successful no i actually that's that's a bad one i actually do think he can be i do too but i'm saying like super duper it depends if he puts his mind yeah so it That's what I'm saying. - It depends. - As you go more, I'm telling you, as you go more and more audios, You start to get more and more Do I think It's gonna be as anything No I fuck with him though I fuck with him though That's my That's my guy Nah that's crazy I don't That's too crazy That's hate That's hate Yeah that's hate But I wouldn't be mad If somebody said the same thing about me That's the other thing That you not gonna what Whatever they can say whatever What's the thing that they would say They can say I don't think Mike is that funny Or I don't think Mike is gonna I think You're not trying to be that funny You're just trying to be yourself Okay I don't think Mike is going to be You know I don't think Where they're at with the podcast right now I think they're gonna stay there I don't think they're done growing But that's That's realistic like you said So I don't think you would take that to heart Yeah But that's like You gotta go lower for you What would you say then What could be something that So somebody be like I don't think Mike will ever win another boxing match again And it's like It's realistic Because you don't got that many left in you Yeah You probably do like what Two or three for the rest of your life Right Right so there's only three fights And like everybody knows how boxing can go Yeah anybody can win So that's realistic Yeah But I don't think I'd be offended by that Yes you would I wouldn't though Oh my god you a liar bro Who's saying that If If Who can say that that's gonna be Like gonna be like okay There you go What There you go The defensiveness Yeah But who though Like if y'all said that I'd be like Oh y'all some whole ass niggas Yeah If anybody else said that Even That's my boy But that's y'all though Your last opponent said it I wouldn't care You Kevin You Kevin I would say prove it Exactly But you would say You can't tell me that wouldn't get you hype No that isn't him getting hype though That's me getting hype though Like prove it like What do you mean You would get hype That's all I'm saying But I wouldn't be like Why would he say that about me No you can't tell me No you going off more of the action I'm just saying that it gets a real Reaction out of you That would If somebody I'm about to fight says that If anybody said it You say it You wouldn't care No I wouldn't care If anybody said it That's a crazy lie Cause they don't mean anything to me But you would You would definitely So me and you We talk for like an hour Damn near every day Okay That would That would be 30 minutes Of the hour conversation If that happened Literally probably 45 And we'd be talking crazy And we'd be talking crazy About that nigga Who said it though Huh Who would say it We bought a name Let me tell the person Shut up Crazy We bought a name I'm trying to So You saying Your inner circle right now As far as people saying that Yeah If anybody that you spar with They can't say it Because you would take offense to it Because that's supposed to be your team Yes So that's technically your inner circle Even though they're not your inner circle No I know what you mean Yes Okay so I gotta go a little bit further than that Yes So I definitely gotta go outside The whole boxing community Yes Cause anybody in the boxing community You That's in Milwaukee You'd be offended if they said it Yes Any Body Down to like Whoever It could be a nigga that just started Boxing two days ago And if he said that about you You'll go You'll go Damn near say something to the nigga Yes Right okay And I'll make him prove it Look how far This nigga said he don't care And I'm like I don't I just added a hundred niggas to this shit Okay let me go further Outside of that circle Oh fuck Trying to think Cause if they say that What else What else we play What else we play together Football Flag football Yeah yeah If If If Oh shit Uh huh Got on there And we was at a bar Uh huh And I was talking to He was like Yeah I don't think Mike gonna win another fight Yeah I just don't I don't like his footwork I don't think it's gonna work out And I came back and told you Would you be offended I'd be like Why the fuck are you at a bar with No Okay Why the fuck you talking to I would say I would say What you say when you say that And I said Two on one He going two on one Cause that That last one You're That last one Cause I feel like you're not gonna stop I feel like the next two Uh huh The next one I'm gonna I'm gonna stop Listen This is I might not even have a next fight This is my prediction The next one Doused There's gonna be some crazy knockout Hopefully It's gonna look crazy That's gonna be your highlight That's gonna get you motivated Yeah yeah The next one after that Gonna be like an opponent That you like I don't know if I can win Like a 50-50 type of fight Yeah And then you gonna Do like Either split decision Or TKO In like the last round And that's gonna be like the Ah like I can overcome anything I'm sailing to the sunset It's No you're not Yes I am Cause it's that next one That next one You gonna be like I'm sailing to the sunset And then you gonna get that call Aiden Ross Then you gonna get another call How much you talking? Whoa whoa Which one? Aiden Ross I mean Both Jewish people I guess Technically You can't put them in the same sentence But um I would say It would be money thing But I believe I would But uh Again Oh my god We're giving Harar some work to do today Um What was the question? I said it would depend on money I think Honestly right now We even with fighting with me It's like I'm trying to not let my ego win So it has to be a perfect opportunity I don't want to go out there Just to go out there I don't have to ever box again So this is This is my trajectory right? I say There's no way you do Three fights The quickest you can do Your three fights is two years Yes I might even just do one fight To be honest But I'm just saying The quick Let's say I say Let's say you say you're fighting three times I don't care how much you prepare How quick you want to do it It's going to be two years Right? And in two years To me The pot is going to be Widely known Yeah And if you're still boxing At that time Eventually Somebody Because eventually What happens with podcasts Nobody is going to mention Pat and Mike on their podcast Right now That's like top tier Yeah Because it doesn't make sense To their audience Like why am I mentioning somebody That you might not even watch Eventually I think The pot is going to get to a point Where like Okay People know who Pat and Mike is Right? And then there's going to be a pot That's either equal Maybe a little bit above us Maybe a little bit below us They get into a hypothetical And they just be like Oh like I'm probably the best Boxing podcast Oh the dude from You talking about Mike? Knock his ass out Bam Right there Yeah Over with That's the third fight Maybe That's the third fight It really depends And then if we get to that third fight If you don't go I really Realistically I think you're going to go 3-0 And I hope you don't go 3-0 Because if you go 3-0 Oh my gosh And he go 3-0 This is a nigga That's preying on my double He's got a reaction now This is my reaction Whole ass nigga No no no But if he go 3-0 He going to keep boxing No I won't bro And I want to have conversations With you when I'm 70 I want to be like Yo Mike Yo Mike Remember that one pile We did at TMG And then you over there Eh eh eh eh eh Eh eh eh eh No And that's the reason You're going to start Punching and shit That's the reason Why I don't I don't think I'm going to like Continue having fights Because even now Doing a tour And making money on tour And making more money Doing the podcast I feel less motivated Yeah To box already Because you know when people say You get that big check Even in boxing Then they kind of lose that drive Yeah I still have that drive But I think I boxed always Wasn't to just My thing was boxing Just to compete with myself I just wanted to have that That feeling like I'm going to do something That scares me That's hard to do And I think I've done that And I've kind of lived that And I think I'm like I'm self-aware enough I'm self-aware enough To know where it's like I'm about to I think also having a baby Is changing my perspective On things too Yeah that's what usually happens When players have that baby Especially after that contract year To get a baby Trash To like train And do all these things And do all these You know Take these hits to the head For not that much money That's the problem You make too much money You're not hungry enough Some of these niggas Because even That's true You know why You won't be able You won't be motivated It's not because of the money You get now Because your next money Let's say You keep fighting And you're 10 and 0 Yeah Even that next money You already make So You The only way That would move you If you're If you're fighting for I'm also 33 So it's like I don't have that much longer No you got a little bit bro I mean I can I feel like I'm I'm pretty athletic I can stay athletic I feel like it's wear and tear For till 37 Yeah to 37 But Also I don't want to be Boxing at 37 You boxing at 37 You gonna come out the ring 73 It's also like The type of job we have Like I talk for a living Yeah I already kind of have like A semi stutter sometimes Yeah Is that a plan stutter? No That was weird as fuck Exactly though I think that was ableist But sometimes it's like I know I talk for a living And I want to be As articulate As I can be For as long as As long as possible See that was I think that was my problem In college Because like I was like A lot of people know Like I wasn't like If it wasn't a solo tackle I probably wasn't going in there Especially my senior year Because I understood Like everybody I'm off right now No I swear to God Everybody used to be mad at me In college Like Like bro One I'm here to cover I'm not here to tackle It's getting to me We don't do all that We don't do all that tussling Come on do all that tussling If it's getting to me My nigga They deserve these 10 yards I tackle them After they get a little bit past me You know what I'm saying They deserve three more years And it got to me The defense broke down You're lucky I'm making this tackle My nigga But it just like They got to a point where I started understanding Like it's game three of the season And I'm thinking like When this season up Like what Like what are these people to me That I'm around right now You know what I mean And it just like Especially when you're going to Like a game or some shit And you're just like You're looking at the standings Like yo this game don't matter Yeah It's an out of conference game Like why am I about to go Heads up with a 300 pound running back Why is this nigga how to run it, mate. oh man anyway wait wait wait oh you got something else never give up bro this this for my two hour episode niggas this for y'all bro okay and we've been trying to do that a lot more hope that you guys have been noticing we try to make the podcast longer uh i try to make carrie's a big help to that too yeah all the people they be talking well it's only a few of y'all she's a big help to why we've been doing two hour episodes i ain't gonna lie if like everybody that talks shit about carrie unless it's like because you allow talk to shit about anybody yeah yeah on the pod but if it's just like some plain like misogynistic shit i'm screenshotting your account like i'm not saying like you banned from a live show i'm not saying i'm gonna beat your ass like i'm not i'm not doing all that but i'm saying we will never be cool yeah it's not about anything that's that's said on the pod because obviously you can have your opinions and like say mike you're wrong as fuck about that like that like i always say that pat your outfit ugly like that's like that is what it is yeah it is what it is but it just like when you get to like saying sorry to hear it was like come on like say a reason say like exactly what happened so like either she can adjust or tell or more likely what she should do is tell you to shut the fuck up or she's able to like actually debate with you in the comments don't just get on there and say such and such that goes for everything i feel like y'all the community like i swear we listen to y'all way more than y'all know like some comments that y'all have and y'all be like some people call us out they'll be like i told y'all last week and y'all did it yeah so what we do and that's one thing i start to appreciate especially as we go on tours like i saw somebody talk doing like an example of the the cart uh grocery cart conversation we had um last week and they were like putting the cart back and it was like because crash dummy said they don't like when people hand it off so like that's like cool when we take shit into the real world and like we're actually a community we keep our community tight-knit yeah and it's we need we need to be together yeah we need to stick together because we're getting to that point where some other podcast gonna start beefing with us and we need y'all to uh to protect us we i think we got some uh togetherness yeah we got some we get yeah we're getting better no we we definitely getting better but we'd be fighting amongst ourselves too much but we do need checks and balances we got some weird ass niggas in our community yeah and ain't nothing we could do about it like somebody's like it's like a hundred niggas that follow us and i wish them bitch ass niggas did and it is what it is we got to keep them niggas though we might leave it we got to keep we might need them for war one day them niggas we put on the front line there was a shot of grenade to the chest somebody just have a run through the crowd i was talking somebody talking so much shit that was in patreon one time i was like why is this person and i looked how long they were paying for patreon it's like they've paid like 300 like why is this person talking the reason i would never get mad about nobody talking shit but when you start mentioning family and shit like that sorry bro we'd be on this point why are you in patreon hating like there's there's there's a time and place for like for when you start talking about people's family and shit like that especially my family and or pat's family it's like yeah i'm just gonna block you from the patreon well chris brown say you hating inside of the club you already in i know i'm just saying basically nigga inside the club hating on it leave nigga it's crazy you can leave you got free will okay um i got a question for y'all all right what's a job as a guy what's a job or anybody with balls um what's a job that you shouldn't be scratching your balls at job you shouldn't be like i feel like any job what's the worst job you could scratch your balls at that's crazy i just wanted to have a mature conversation uh dentist exactly like i i just want to wear gloves no no no but i want to talk waitress i want to talk about but even a waitress i wonder who's just at like you just ate some wendy's and your butt your butt look crazy nigga that's the worst this is the worst got mad looked at the burger and said bro why the fuck my butt look like that so he set the burger down i'm like oh shit i checked out my bun i'm like oh this shit look regular and then this nigga mike was mad as hell like and he put it down and i was like and then he picked it back up and bit the bitch i was like my nigga i'm confused i'm so hungry bro investigate that's my first time eating wendy's in so long the way the burger looked different though no your burger looked different it looks so good i'm so hungry bro i'm so hungry bro i'm so hungry bro i'm so hungry bro it's small i've never had i was like because i asked you wendy burger is good you said it's pretty good oh you got the junior no i never said oh that might have been the junior i ain't gonna lie oh wendy's wendy's fell off a little bit they used to be that shit oh i'm not gonna lie they hear you say that on twitter she's gonna get at you who the redhead girl man i'm not scared of no motherfucking twitter the thing about me is like they're never gonna go back and forth with me i'm gonna say some shit that gets us both canceled all right what was your thing about dentists okay uh somebody dentist there's a tweet dentist is crazy bro we have adhd in this pod oh he's still rolling oh tweet of the week uh it's a saw my dentist scratches oh go go ahead go wait no that's you good you're right you're right you're on the right yeah what no you're good just go bro i'm not talking to him i'm done talking what happened nothing i just thought you were getting off track but you're on track all right gene uh press play bro come on we're waiting on this nigga dog okay no okay the tweet of the week says sexiest thing a woman can do is not shenanigans we already read that it says saw my dentist scratches balls before putting his fingers in my mouth if you legit because that's an awkward conversation to have but it's also but it's also a very like you gotta stand up for yourself you have to what i'm saying what if it's a a questionable ball scratch you know what i mean like because nobody you shouldn't be scratching no they shouldn't but but it can't happen it's a scenario all right because like i'm not even trying to demonstrate it but like it's a way like obviously nick going inside his pants and we didn't know about the fight because like what type of shit if a dentist if i saw a dentist scratch like that and the next thing is to put their hands near my mouth i'm literally gonna like raise my hand up the block it real quick and be like are you gonna change your gloves they gotta do more than that you know if you sound right right now you know you sound like what maynard said and i went up to whisper to a nigga what maynard say i don't remember uh look up no look at what maynard said uh uh maynard said i don't remember what maynard said i don't remember what maynard said i don't remember Daniel's gun story from their podcast. That's how you just saw it. I swear this shit gonna make sense. Gun to my head. Sneaker store robbery. No. You might just go to TikTok. Yeah, go to TikTok. You'll find it there. I don't know why TikTok got a crazy search engine. I don't know what's. Crazy. That shit's so crazy. Even when I'm trying to find a video of, like, something that we posted before to see what it did or, like, as a repost. Yeah. I'll type in crash dummies and then whatever topic it was, and it pops up. Bro, that shit's so weird. The way you just said it, because you was like, I'm gonna wait. Because anybody else would have said, I'm gonna just hop up and be like, yo, or I'm gonna just stop him. You said, I'm gonna wait until you get ready to put it in my mouth. I said put it in my mouth. I said near my mouth. On your mouth. In or on. Okay, sure. And then you said, and I'm gonna block it, and I'm gonna say, and, like, this reminded me of this, because it's like. So another. Unnecessary. You know, check this out. Sometimes, like, when dudes that you paying, and it's like, I'm building a relationship with the people that you paying, and they got arms, they armed, they got the license. Sometimes I get into a mode with a n***a, and I whisper to the n***a and say, tonight I want to see you use that gun. You whisper that? What the f*** is. Can we get a time out? We need a commercial break. Nah, that's crazy. Tonight, I want to see you use that gun. Nah, I would do that, because I don't want to get up. I think dentists, like, when you're in a dentist chair, it's like, you don't want to, like, do anything too drastic. There's a lot of sharp items around. But you're gonna look so stupid, because you already got that thing that open your mouth. Yeah. Boy, you like your hair. Alright, can you take a go? And you're like, shut the f*** up, man. Your sh** wide open. You can't even close it. That's crazy. Yo. Alright, man. Nah, dude, there's no need to sit, man. Whoa, that's crazy. That's crazy. We're gonna end the pod there. No, no. Alright, that's been Crash Dummies episode 273. Please, please get your tickets to the live show at crashdummieslive.com. Get your merch. Get the Patreon. And just keep. Keep supporting us and sharing our content. Follow us on IG. Yeah, follow us on all social platforms. No, just IG. Just follow us. And his burner page, too. No, no, don't follow my burner page. Alright, so, peace. ABC Wednesdays. Abbott is back. Thank you. Now we can finally turn this up. And everyone, it's going wild. It's going great. Abbott Elementary. Anything can happen in the jungle. Right, guys? Football is back, and PrizePix is bringing out their best offer yet. On PrizePix, you can make all the picks you want, all in the same app. And now, PrizePix is available nationwide. Lock in for kickoff, because everyone and everything is on PrizePix. What you want? 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