The Council Of Distractible (Part 3)

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Good evening, gentle listeners, all watchers, and welcome. Welcome to Distractable, this fifth birthday episode. War-headed Wade refuses reporting his sex life and violates amendments. Burping Bob buys James a Jeep, raises Robotnik, thinks of the future, and proposes splashing the cash. Manful Mark's puppy goes cyborg. He struggles with sheet, fucks changers, and wants bounty hunting. From trapped gases to phallus poltergeisting. Heh heh. It's time for the Council of Distractable, part three. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Distractable. It's been so long since I've hosted, I forgot the name of our show. Here I am in the rightful seat at the rightful time to give you all Mark and Bob doing stuff. And me doing nothing, which is what we do even whenever I'm not the host. How are you? I'm about to burp. I didn't know what you were about to do. It's stuck. It's literally stuck. It's stuck. I burped before we started. Oh, man, it's stuck right here. Look at my shirt. It's not the Distractable, and it's a bunch of bears getting blown up. You know what helps if you get a burp stuck, though? Do you know the technique? What's that? You need to put your elbows in against your ribs. Not like hard, but just like in. And then go tilt side to side, because it, like, squishes your. Are you just making him show off his boobs? No, no, no. Oh, okay. It, like, shimmies the gas around, and then you gotta get it out. It's like a baby. You gotta work it out. It's not coming out. My sphincters are too strong. No one's got sphincter strength like me. Maybe you need to Heimlich it out. Can you self-Heimlich? I could, but I won't do it on camera. How high can you climb? I don't wanna. I don't wanna. I'm embarrassed. Well, I guess you'll just have to be an adult. Exciting announcement. This episode, I believe, if I did my math correctly, which I oftentimes do not, should come out one day after our five-year anniversary of Distractible, hence the shirts Bob and I are wearing. Hear, hear! Eh! Editors, transform Guam into a shirt! Look at all this shit. Get off my eyes. But yeah, that doesn't mean we're gonna do anything any differently. We're still gonna do things the normal way, which means we start with small talk. Woo! Small talk! Yeah. Anything new? Yes, many, many things. Many things are new. Any of them good? No. My lid is fucking falling apart. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to. Oh, man. What have I done? Oh, fuck. I hope this isn't another bad email. Oh, God. It's all locked. It doesn't. Your phone never do that where it's like, I don't like your face anymore. I don't like your face anymore. I'm not opening for you. Oh, all the time. I hold it up not perfectly vertically, and it's like, why are you sideways? Yeah, you look different. I don't know if our phones ever go through and, like, adjust to our aging process, but, like, my phone over the years has had to take me from looking like that to that to this, so I don't know how my phone even knows who I am. Could any bald guy just get into my phone? Probably, actually, yeah. Yeah. Like, how does it know I'm me still? Science. I'll get into my. I just actually got. That was a good text. It was from Amy saying that, uh. Sandy's leg appointment has been scheduled for her new leg. Nice! That's not how that works. Robotic leg? No, it's a consultation to see what to do. So we've taken to her a few appointments, because if people don't know, Sandy is our new pup from Thai Street Paws in Songkhla, Thailand. That's not the. How do you pronounce it? But it wasn't offensive. It's pronounced thigh-land. Which part did you mispronounce? I thought I really had you there. Say it again. I'm the host, man. I'm just gonna mark that down. Editors, make him say it. Make his lips move to him saying it. Thigh-land. Anyway, so that's good. It'll be an evaluation to see, uh, because previous consultations said that there is, uh, something to be done for the leg. There might be some lingering thing, you know, but the doctors are optimistic about getting mobility back. Not that she isn't really good at moving with three legs. Right now, she's very fast. Um, completely shocked us, because you'd be like, "Oh, she has a limp." But when she's running, she sticks both of her legs together and goes, "Doing, doing, doing, doing!" And she's very quick. But, uh, yeah, no, that's good. But the rest of my life is in shambles. But that's. that's at least going well. Yay for Sandy. I'm glad that at least one thing in your life isn't in shambles. I can allude to the rest of it, but it's. it's a complicated situation, because by the time this episode comes out, my video talking about the situation will have been yesterday, but I haven't "toduced" the correct wordage to. be. you know? How brave are you for that? What are you feeling in this small talk? In the time when we are now, you don't know what you will have said, but in the time that we are then, you do will have known what you had said, and you meant it. And I will have let emotions ebb and flow enough to which I could say things logically and reasonably, and right now, I want to do anything unreasonable. I want every unreasonable thing possible to, uh, exude from my body, every orifice, especially my mouth. A minute, Wade. You're about to receive all of my unreason. Oh! Editors, dissolve me! Look, I've been hit with acid! You could have said "editors, clean me" or something. Oh. It's alright. It's been a whole thing, trying to get, you know, Iron Lungs released, that's what it's all about. There's been setbacks, but, you know, also some interesting discoveries that I didn't know, but I just feel like I thought the systems would be more sophisticated. But it turns out, like, the same kind of tech we use to figure out the website map, which is what Amy figured out, which is just a spreadsheet with a bunch of, you know, coordinates, same thing for movies. Put a bunch of bullshit in a spreadsheet, and you put it in there, and that's the only way to get it up. Somebody should show those guys about computing technology. They all the computers shoved over into the AI corner. All the computes reserved for all that, and we're scuzz over here, left with spreadsheets and diagrams and bones that we gotta roll, and I wonder what rating this movie should be. It's like those dogs that predict playoffs, like, when they do that for the movies, like, "Ah, which movie should come out?" Well, bones went to the left bowl, so I guess the Iron Lung has to wait another month. Oh my god, it's been so long. And it's like, "I know everybody, please, I know." It was all explained in the video that came out yesterday. It was all explained, but I haven't worried, I'm too emotional. I can't handle it. It was all will be explained. You wanna know why this drink doesn't have a lid? Mark, you're not drinking it without a lid, are you? 'Cause I fuckin' dropped it. That's it. That's the first one. Oh, wait, wait, wait, yeah, uh. It fell on the carpet where all the dog hair is, and I reached down to pick it up, like, "Aw, man," and then I did that thing where you grab a lid and it just squishes through your fingers, 'cause it's kinda wet, 'cause from when I opened it, and it just scoots across the floor, and I'm like, "Ah, it's more dog hair." And it just, like, keeps grabbing and scooting. By the time I picked it up, it was, like, half dog hair, so I threw it away. That's my story, give me some points. La-la-la-la! Oh, don't worry, you've got some points. Some of these are gonna be really confusing later on to read, but I'm sure we'll remember. Oh, well, usually they make so much sense. I have a lot of stuff going on, too, okay? My life is very complicated. James got a Power Wheels. If you don't know what Power Wheels is, it's a car that a toddler can drive. It's those little plastic cars, and no, I did not buy it from the store. Yes, I found one that someone was literally trying to, like, throw away and rescued it, and, man, does it make you feel. I literally could not have done less to rescue this thing from the trash, but I still feel like I invented electricity. And James loved it, which was hilarious. Bob is Edison. But, like, literally, it was, like, it's all these cars, they come with lead-acid batteries in them, which wear out and stink, and this one just, the battery was dead, but the battery was just soldered in. to the thing, right? So it's like, I guess you just throw it away. And I was like, well, If I just snip these wires and buy for $10 on Amazon, a little thing that adapts my Ryobi tool batteries into the, cause they're 18 volt battery, but boom, literally I cut it. James helped me. I was like, look, bud, look, you put the wires, you stripped the wire. And he was like, uh-huh, uh-huh. When do I drive it? And I was like, we're getting there, man. Screwed it together, put a battery in. And I was like, please don't burst into flames. Flicked it on, pushed the gas pedal and it moved. And literally James started jumping up and down, just being like, yeah, yeah, you did it, yeah. And I was like, God damn it, I'm the best dad that's ever lived. Put the seat on there and he drove it around for like an hour. And he did, it's this thing, I don't know if all kids do this, but James has this thing where like, he re-realizes the same thing over and over again when it's something that's like a prolonged thing he loves that's happening. And he's like sitting in his car, just like driving around the driveway, whatever. And then he just stops and sits for a second. And I'm like, are you okay? And he's like, I'm driving my Jeep for it. God damn it. He just keeps re-realizing he's driving a Jeep around his own driveway and being like, it's great. And it's immediately a problem because you have to stop playing with it at some point. And so he knows the Jeep exists. And every moment we're not playing with the Jeep, it's like, damn, there's a Jeep in the garage. You remember the Jeep? Can we drive it? Like, nah, dude, it's eight in the morning. We're not playing Jeep right now. Like, eat your cereal. But very fun. Very fun. Whatever that face was, was fantastic. It was like the slow realization of an evil mastermind that his plan might actually work. If I'm honest, I was going for Jim Carrey's Grinch smirk. That's pretty on par. That's kind of an evil mastermind. When it grows, you'll be. Artificially, might I say. AI of the early 2000s. If we can all say that. AI generated. I can't believe it. I still love the movie. Sam, I'm not going to say anything critical about Jim Carrey. Have you guys seen the Sonic movies? Only the first one. I want to see the new one. Apparently there's a fourth one announced now. I haven't seen the movies, but have you seen the dance break that Jim Carrey does with Jim Carrey in, I think, the third one? Yeah, I have. Yeah. Yeah. It keeps recommending it to me on YouTube. I haven't watched it because I'm like, well, I want to see the movies, but I know it exists. I haven't watched it. God. It's great. I don't think it spoils anything. It's great. Yeah. Barely. He filmed both parts because it's him. And then it's like his dad, older robot Nick him or whatever the hell the story is in the movie. But God, it's good. That man could dance. Plus that song slaps. It's all good. It's a good thing. I keep thinking, like, I keep hearing things like Jim Carrey's retired. Then it's like new Sonic movie. Jim Carrey will return. It's like, I hope he's, I don't know if he'll be back for the fourth one or not, but like I keep hearing he's not doing anymore. And then like, he keeps coming back and it's like, yes. I think he did. But didn't he make a joke? Like, didn't he retire a while ago? And he was like, I'm not doing movies anymore. I'm done. And then he like came back and did the Sonic movie and was like, I ran out of money. So I'm robot Nick now. All right. I hadn't seen that, but that wouldn't surprise me. I don't know if that was a joke or a sincere thing, but I swear I thought I saw that, that like he was basically like, well, you need money. Turns out they paid me. So I did it. I'm sorry. There's an important message. I guess. My sadness depends on it. All right. Great. Come on. Make Mark sad. Do it. Editors. Can we get a description of Mark's slowly, increasingly sadness face? No, it's helping my sadness. Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, good. Good. Nevermind. I'll describe it then. Less fun. Like this. I just keep talking to Amy and we, we talk back and forth. Like this would have been so much easier if we just made like a Shopify and I sold an MP4 for like five bucks or it would have been a link to an unlisted video on my channel. It's like, that's the only thing that I send over is like, if you want to hear it is that would be shared like wildfire. No, they would never know. But that's the thing about Mark's Mark's audience though, is like people would absolutely just get it and immediately start watching it. But if not right away, within the first couple of days, they'd be like, well, I should go spend them. And they would go and they would pay the five bucks or whatever it was just to be like, there, I did it because they're not, they're good people. And they would not do that. They would not steal. Cause they're so nice. They wouldn't do me like that. I agree that some of them would, they wouldn't do me like that. They wouldn't. None of them would do that. They wouldn't do that. They, them. Well, this isn't them. These assholes might. Some of this is them. No, no, no. That is, this is not them. None of Mark's audience watches this podcast. Some of you is them. There is zero overlap. Markiplier distractible is no overlap. That makes me feel way better about distractible. We're very successful then. I didn't realize it was so separate. It is. Distractible is very successful. Ha ha. Thanks, Mickey. Calm down, Mickey. It was very, very successful. Mickey never lies. I feel proud. Legally on the label to lie on the label. Well, every time I hear Mark do a Mickey, anything, a reference Mickey, I just think of the. You want to see what's under the gloves, Donald? God, what a good comic. Haunted me for 14 years. God, penis. Speaking of penis. Oh, segue point. That's true. That's true. Segue point. No. All right. Nice try, though. As this is the anniversary episode, I got to give a shout out to one of our Reddit posters. Theater Mom 2016 has made a written out version of the distractible constitution. Which the, the accuracy of which we do not endorse. It could be filled with any number of false or misleading statements, but probably it's perfect. There's a whole thread of people offering corrections and amendments and stuff to it in the comments below, so I'm sure it's been corrected and it is perfect and exactly what we said and intended. So what we're going to do today for our fifth year anniversary episode is read a really long document together. Oh, right. Yeah. I love document. It's like a, it's like a legal proceeding. You have to read it out loud, word for word, start to finish. No skipping. No. Oh yeah. Uh, I don't know. I don't, I don't want to do that. I'm not going to lie. I don't want to do that either. That does not interest me very much. I want to delete some shit out of this though. I want to cut some fat. There is no way we have this many rules. It's 10 pages of this. Why is it written double columned like this? This is weird. That the, the amendments, honestly, I think it's stylistic as much as anything, but. No, that's how we said it. We said it like this. We said it double columned. So, uh, we don't have to go through and read the whole thing word for word, but I figured we'd go through and. See what rules we have that we've completely forgotten about what we might want to change. This is our constitution episodes. Now that this is all typed out, theater mom went through and posted it. We're going to change everything. Oh, the listeners are clicking off right now. We're going to say things out loud. I'm just going to type. This is the last word I'm going to say right now. Labor day savings are happening now at the home Depot with select appliances, starting at $399 plus save up to an extra thousand dollars and get free delivery on appliance purchases of $998 or more. Get a Whirlpool laundry tower featuring industry first UV clean technology designed to reduce bacteria in the wash without fading fabrics. Plus with great prices at the home Depot, you can save on select appliances designed to make laundry day easier. US only C store online for details. Oh, what did I do? Bob, that's out loud. You can't say that. So this is my inner thoughts. I'm not talking. What happened? I had a keyboard shortcut or something and my whole computer went black for a second. It's I'm not going to do that anymore. Oh, that's good stuff. Good stuff. What I've gathered from my quick glancing over this so far is that we are called distractible. You mocking the host right now? I'm sorry. No, I had something in my throat. Oh, okay. Just making sure because don't fucking do that again. I'm very sad, man. I'm crying. That's how I cry. It's my true cry. The true cry. Oh, God. You cry like a PS2 character. So unbelievably accurate. All right, look, I've been thinking about this and we're going to if we're going to add anything to the Constitution, I think we need to add a way to delete shit off the wheel. And I have a concept. So we have the wheel of victory, right? Whatever the red, the bonus points wheel. I like it. I like that. There's a lot of stuff on it. You know what I don't like is when we click spin and something comes up and we look at it and we're like skeleton dancing. Oh, no, I think if we if we land on something and we can't remember what it is, delete it deleted. I'm glad you brought that up, Bob. I'm giving you a point for it. I was already going to vote to delete stuff from the wheel. Because I've had some family that watched the podcast approach like, wait, please don't tell me the last time you had sex. Oh, I'm definitely going to remember that one. That's not getting deleted. I have had so many people, friends and family like, dude, I really don't want to know. What is there any contingency? I don't really care. But is there any contingency if like all of us pretend to not remember it? Like we all like, oh, I don't know. And it's kind of obvious that we're kind of faking it. Should that still go through? There is no test of sincerity. sincerity. We need a test of sincerity. No, shit. No, that's not. We're not adding that. Article 9, test of sincerity. I don't know what that is, but I don't like it. We'll have a group lie detector test. What are those called? A poly polygraph. Yeah, we'll get polygraphed. Every episode that we want to delete, we have to submit for polygraph testing. We'll get our distractible writer wink on that to figure out what that's about. Look, next season's going to be a banger. It's going to get crazy. Game changers, you're fucked. Yeah. More importantly, change gamers, you're extra fucked. Adventurous, we may or may not reach out. We forgot, so we don't know if anything happened there. Sorry. I really still want to. If we ever talk or do anything together, this is a taste. You've been warned. No, so is that a unanimous adoption of the, if we can't remember it, it's deleted, and the remembering can be however it, if we all say we don't remember, then we don't remember. There's no dick measure in that. I, I, I, I vote yes. Make it so, subreddit person. Article five of this says something about a flag system. I thought we abolished the flag system because it didn't make any sense that we replaced it with the, the, the thing that I'm not going to say. The thing, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Did we never, did we not get rid of the flag system? Did we just leave it? We probably didn't remember that there was a flag system, and so we thought the coin was like this brilliant new idea. Yeah, yeah, or something like that. I don't know. Wait, was the coin flipping a part of that? Fuck that. I vote we strike article five, and if there is something about this coin in a word, it now becomes article five, and loses its place some, wherever the fuck it was. I think possibly, I think possibly it's an amendment. We'll look through the amendments when we get there, but for now, uh, I agree. Flags, we've already got a system for that. Flags can go. I agree. Alright. Aye. I forgot to honor the second amendment. Huh. Uh, every, every inaugural, every boat episode, which is technically this is a boat episode, I think there has to be a fart joke. Oh, wait, no. The boat episode is unrelated to the constant, they just happen to overlap, right? This isn't a boat episode. Yeah, yeah. The boat's like a celebratory, like, company event, you know? God, we should really get more staff. Fuck, we don't have any staff. No, we need, like, a congress and staffers, we're like management. I got it. We actually do finally reach out to a Vantress, and we kidnap them, we put them in a basement, we make them be our staff. We make the hosts, the actual, like, participants, not their staff. We don't take their staff, we take the hosts. No, we take them. I love this. Aye, aye, aye. They can take their staff to work under them, but they still have to be our staff. Oh my god, when did we make this? Fourth of Amendment, June 10th, 2024, from the inaugural boat episode, apparently, if there is a guest, whether they are a human, animal, or robot, they are required to read an advertisement script if there is one pending, so guests have to do ad reads? When did we do that? What? What? Wait, oh. That's so specific. Why didn't we think of that? I was reading the first articles, not the amendment. I forgot that the articles stay and the amendments can, so they need to stay. Legally, they're all the same. You could literally write an amendment that says, Article 5, don't count, or you can just delete it. It's okay. Whatever Mark wanted to have happen, that's what happens. Okay, yeah. You all know my meaning. Wait, we abolished handshake deals? Don't we still do those? Why is Bob's immortality an amendment? That's crazy. I don't know how that became an amendment, but I'm not gonna. What's the punishment if you break it? If I die, you guys could kick me off the show. I think that's fair. Yeah, because it would be impossible in this game and show for you not to be immortal, therefore it would break the universe, and we'd all be expunged. I don't think we should look at the document. I think we should talk about our wants and our desires and our dreams for this show. I agree. I like it. I also think we should add maybe this is too much chaos. I think we should add a way to instantly modify the Constitution. I think it should be a living, breathing document. I don't know if it's coin-based, or if it's just votes, like maybe a unanimous vote. We could just be like, get rid of that. All three of us vote. Wait, what if it's not unanimous? Then do we have to flip a coin, or is it just majority? Well, if it's not unanimous, then we could do the special word that triggers a coin flip, which then the coin could decide that our vote was incorrect and remedy the situation on its own. Like a veto of fate. If we do that and get all tails, and it will be made doubly fair, I'm not really clear what exactly that means in terms of modifying the Constitution. But I don't really care, because I think that's pretty funny. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. It'll never happen. There's no way that's going to happen. There's no way that that would happen. I think the name of our Constitution should be, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. You know, our Constitution could just be that sentence. Constitution, Article 1, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. And then we're just out here crossing bridges every episode. Then you don't have to think about it too much. Yeah, I'm down with always being able to change it, but it shouldn't be willy-nilly. There should be, but we already have the word. But I feel like we need something further. Or is the word enough to instigate it? Could a coin flip be the moment where I was like, ah, we must change it? Or is it like an impasse that must be addressed? We could just leave that to the coin flip, I guess. The coin makes good decisions. So what, we just need to add a thing that says, you can challenge parts of the Constitution in the form of a coin flip declaration. Hmm, but that would leave it so one person has the power to make a constitutional change. And I feel like that has to be an agreed upon action. A lot of power in this, a lot of power. Constitutional changes can be made by unanimous vote or by majority with exception of a coin flip prevention. It's a lot to remember and we're never going to, but I think it needs to be shorter and funnier. Yeah. It needs to be shorter and funnier. And something we'll actually remember. Us, yay, no loses. What if it's a wheel and it's a wheel with our three names on it and each of us gets a vote? So it's, it's the, the wheel can be unanimous or the wheel can be two-thirds one thing, two-thirds the other, or one third the other thing, right? So if we, if two of us want to get rid of something, but one of us is protesting, then the wheel has a two out of, a two thirds chance to land on a, a yes vote, but a one third chance to land on a veto vote. But how does that propose, how do we start the propose? It could it be, could it be to initiate an amendment? It's a host power, right? It's a host based power. So only the host can start it, but they only get like, we could go back to the flag thing where there's only one, you can make one per season. Two, three, two, one, three, two, one, three. Less than twenty. What if it's like a, you can make an amendment, but if it gets vetoed, you lose it. Yeah, it's like sports. It's like sports challenges. If your challenge succeeds, you keep it, but if you fail. This is probably the same thing we said about the flags. Like, yeah, if it, if it wins, it's the same thing, but it's for amendments. Two per season, if they're both right, you can keep going. If they're, if one's wrong, that's all you get is those two. But it's only the host can do it. Cause it's the competitors that say the other thing, so this is like a, if the host wants to do it, they're gonna vote yes on the wheel. So they at least have a one in three vote to do what they want, but they could have everyone in on their side if they have a strong case. Yeah. Yeah. And it doesn't need to, it needs to be a super majority or a unanimous, or it needs to be at least just two out of three. I think it needs to be, well, I think the wheel can decide. So like it just needs to be our three names and each of us decides beforehand what our vote is and whoever it lands on, it goes their way. But like, so that the probability is, you know, if two of us vote yes, one votes no, then yes has a better chance, but it's not a guaranteed win. How do we bring lobbyists into this? How do we get people to pay money? Do we also each get at least one like veto to ensure that two of us don't just flat out be like, all right, what if Bob tested this entire season blindfolded? And two of us are like, aye! And Bob's like, no, no, no. This is just to delete. This is not to add. This is to delete. All this does is get rid of something. The host promote is just for deletion? Yeah, so the host could be like, I want to get rid of the entire coin flip section. It would never pass Congress. So how do we add? Does adding have to be unanimous? Do we need congressional districts for this or something? Okay, we each start our own Patreon and the amount of money that we get monthly determines our voting power. I claim Mark's name. Hey. My super pack is going to be called Markiplier for Distraction. Distractible. Hey, wait. You guys are better at politics than me. Hold on. You can have Minion or Lord Minion. You can have one of those two. My super pack's going to be called Ted Cruz for Congress. He's popular, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, oh. Definitely amongst our podcasting audience, probably. Everybody loves Ted. So the host can initiate a deletion. We do the wheel. You just whatever, whomsoever the wheel lands on, their vote is the one that counts, but everyone declares their votes so it's like a probability thing and it can be unanimous if it's unanimous doesn't really matter i think if both competitors want to veto it maybe but they have to be in alignment because you're saying maybe there should be a veto no i don't know if we need a veto well i was thinking for adding stuff if we're just deleting stuff i think if it's just deleting i don't think we need like a veto thing i think it can just go to the no i agree for for deletion i agree i was thinking if we're adding something i just want one person being ganged up on we would never do that if we're very fair you can say fair you can fair is not a banned term just fair just right just fair just regular fair and no other part of it this is not meant to be a discrimination either but i'm going to say wade you don't get this power this episode it starts no that that i agree yeah all things start in the next one yeah the the constitution episodes should definitely be more collaborative than us versus them it's a battle in fact should a constitution episode always just end with a wheel spin to see who hosts the next one i man we don't remember how we did in the last one and we can't be bothered to look it up no winner is to be announced for the boat meeting episode thus no points will be assigned no additional showing between official recordings the winning count will continue into the episode that follows the winner who won the episode before the boat episode will host the next one so wait till host the next one ha ha well that's that's i'm fine with that but is that bad boat or constitution because we are i think this is i think this is meant to be a constitution episode i think they're well the letter of the law only states boat it only it is the we can change it now but it won't apply until the next so how do we want to handle the constitution we do it the same way we want to wield you won't be the host points again how do we want to handle this i mean i guess you're the host so you could decide you have congressional power because you are presiding over that's true you have the power the power of the merce but this does apply to all of us so i still welcome opinions you guys it's like supreme court i you know i might be the one you're well that's a bad reference this day where do i get a bus if we're the supreme court how do i get my bus isn't star boulevard you can pay like seventy thousand dollars and get a star maybe you just pay me money and you get a bust i see i see is that how much it is i don't know i saw this thing about it but maybe it's maybe it was not true your honor may i approach the bench oh the flashbacks yeah of course oh god that can be secondhand cringe again uh don't laugh make sure you don't laugh you've hardly acknowledged my boo-boo i just want to point out no one's no one's acknowledged yet uh your camera won't focus on it until you had one hold on it's here my boo-boo you've hardly noticed my boo-boo i'm sorry about your boo-boo what happened to your boo-boo i cut my finger on a knife i'm going to assume it was an accident not a cult ritual that's the end of my story all right well i'm sorry about your boo-boo i hope it heals up did you have to get stitches do you need stitches no i think i got it quick enough is that how you do it i'm sorry about your boo-boo i hope it heals up did you have stitches works if you're too slow to get a band-aid on there you progress to needing stitches well see i i i i've learned that i've learned this a while ago but i think in terms of healing uh the old mentality was that you keep the wound dry and dry it out should be like the sahara in there dry keep it dry and then we realized that it needs to be gushy gushy wet to really heal because when i burn my hands i don't have i don't know how to describe it but it's just terrible scarring because i kept ripping the bandages off and reopening the wounds and then slapping a bunch of basset tracing on it and it worked so it's perfectly good so i was like ah i'll do the same here and they make these new like uh well i don't know how new they are but they're like gel bandages they're kind of like got this kind of rubbery texture to it and it it's got like a strip of basically neosporin gel that it just plops on there i think it'll i mean i almost chopped it all the way off but i think it'll heal right back up see how it's like turning darker on the tip that's because it's necrotizing that's probably fine you don't want to have a dead tip i think i heard i can grow it back with pig bladder only one way to find out i think i heard that from us i might have mentioned yeah i think i heard that from mark actually very specifically dear jama i can't believe this happened to mark uh what was jam again journal of um um american medicine i thought it was the journal of american medicine of america right and there was a distractible post five years ago by i keep we're back again it's like you keep coming back to the same thing it's like biomedical engineering phd or please don't chop your finger and rub pig bladder powder on it how would you know have you ever tried it which is probably the exact same thing i said then a hundred percent yeah yeah there's probably an association one of the two ways is probably association or associates or sorry i distracted us should there be something in the why we should have something in the constitution about being distracted bonus points probably it's the name of our podcast yeah but i mean yeah it's got to be something that incentivizes it more we need like tax incentives to be able to do more distractions right we can see if the irs will give us a tax break i guess i feel like we should have a call line a phone line where viewers and listeners can dial in but it's like they don't know when we're recording so it's just so middle of the night hang on molly someone's calling hey you said the fair rule oh sorry we're not recording right now click i love that thing in in shows like the the horrifying game changers that we hate where they have the contestants do things off show right like taskmaster does it where they have them doing a thing in the interim and they film it i love shit like that why don't we do that our show should be so good why don't we try well if i if i'm getting really real i think it's because we all still have other things we like our only thing we do isn't the show whereas people that live and breathe their show they put their all i mean you just made a fucking movie i'm not making it now it sounds like you're making something uh what's that behind you oh no it's i don't know fucking disc makers are finally not running they'll run on their own but we can make this show something great we can do that we can be top 10 we can be number one you know i don't know if we need constitutional amendments about that we could just do we could just do we declare that we must be the number one podcast i don't think it works that way how often do the number the top podcast post are we not are we not higher up because we only post once or twice a week and they're like 13 joe rogan episodes a week i don't even know i don't know like i don't know what determines that what if there's a thing where you can steal an episode if you have a bit up an outside the show bit that you record and bring in and you just start playing it and you can like it could like hijack the episode i feel like it would have to be a mission that gets sent out for like the next episode because it's like the host i feel like or it could be just completely random it's totally right it's like me when i've recorded all those you know intro intros that i did for various random segments that i did yeah we'd have to have a lot more forethought in our planning and also we'd have to know what each other are up to like if mark's like hey i'm going on a honeymoon and we're like well while you're there i would do it we could do like taskmaster though right where it's like we could just have a list and then it's like from the episode where we declare that list you bring in a bit to an episode you get like a bunch of points or you can hijack the episode or like you win by default or something i love these things where it's like we say things a while ago and because we're so bad at remembering if we remember and we say like it has to be a minimum number of weeks ahead or episodes ahead like there's a bounty board for like five episodes ahead to do this i mean it could be this season like we could at the start of the season we'd be like all right here's a bounty board maybe we can update this and we can do this and we can do this if we start burning through stuff but like the start of the season we put out a bounty board and it's like if you do one of these missions yeah film it bring it in as a bit we play it on the show hijacked i don't know what the reward what's a good reward automatic five points or something like that like big points that actually could change the the course of that whole episode you know because i feel like we we are very competitive but it's like i want that extra proactive step in there to do something and it doesn't have to be big this is why i want gopro to fucking talk to me so fucking badly this has all been an ad for gopro to talk to i won't they won't they won't but it's like that's what i need right because even the dgi thing it's nice but it's in its case and you gotta undo it and you gotta feel like a fucking doofus oh it's kind of delicate yeah you gotta yeah you know as opposed to just picking up and hitting you can you can hit the on all the gopros you could just hit like hit the record button and then pick it up it starts going right that's the level of convenience i want is like i want to they don't talk to me and i think they're getting sold yeah well they were in trouble right wasn't it kind of a hail mary with this generation with the cinema sensors and the calm amateur has been buying up a lot of people lately that sounds really bad what how is that supposed to be good oh go pro come amateurs go pro come amateur yeah the the joke was there until the words came out and then i realized how bad it sounded based on your two's expression it just really felt like it was somewhere let's uh nowhere veto that name uh it's too late now man it's too late there you're gonna no i think in the constitution needs to be included you must film the mission on a come amateur camera i don't wanna i don't wanna all right bounty bounty for this year wade has to get a brain scan of some kind i don't think a full mri doesn't have to be like he has to have electrodes to his brain and then he has to like show us what his thought process is like go through some bits bounty i apply i submit for the bounty board i like that i think that's that's good do they make like home kits where you could scan your own brain at home there's no way all right you're talking less mri and more so like they hook stuff up and like they see what parts of my brain light up to different prompts are those invasive no it's literally just electrodes taped on your head you you are actually perfect for it because you have no hair you don't have hair yeah that's right that's true go right on there okay uh if they offer that here in cincinnati i'll try to find a way but uh that'd be i'd be fascinated to know how my maybe i just need to go to therapy and record my sessions oh that'd be great do do therapy with that on and have like a recording of your brain as it's happening they find some deep-seated trauma you guys like ah that's how his brain works grandma no no dig into it dig into it i like the idea of like multi-part missions where it's like you have to go and get some specific thing and then you pull it out in the episode right you're like you have to go maybe it's like food i want the bounties to be good and not just like a video of me going to kroger to buy an apple i bought an apple at the store all right because they can be on the list but they're not done we could make it fan participation they could have a weekly roundup of like voting up a bounty or submitting things and then we could have our moderators or whatever submitted to a list we could post they're doing of the bounties too no never mind it has to be we get to monetize it come on it's us it's us it's us stupid dingle by here oh i have one that needs to be on the bounty board it's kind of unfair oh wait you have to decide you have to decide you're the host so you declared unfair on the thing i was about to say i guess so either nothing happens you get to really doubly say it i don't know what that means or your ideas this bounty could be worth double points oh yeah i think that's i think that makes sense either if it's if it is unfair the bounty doesn't go on the board if it's fair if it's doubly fair it's just worth double points because it's such a good bounty all right so heads is in favor you declared it so heads three heads means it's a really good bounty it's worth double three tails means it doesn't go on the board all right i'm an idiot i got heads heads tails that's good though that means it's neutral yeah that means my idiot mistake didn't cost us anything anyway i was gonna say for all three of us i feel like it should be a bounty if you're in public and someone recognizes you get a video with them to be like and have them like explain or you explain if they don't want to be on camera but like get a video to bring in to be like hey they want this is a watcher or a listener whatever right like i just like that because i think it's funny i always feel really awkward when someone's watching me and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna be i love distractible and i just want to be like can i have a video can we take a pic i know you're just in your everyday life but can we do this right and they'll immediately be like oh i don't want to do that so what do i still film it if they walk up to me they're like hey are you bob from marketplace i think there's something to that but it needs to be more specific you have to say yes and you have to go with it but you can you can get credit for that yeah there's got to be something that we like i like the idea of of that but they have to know the bit they have to know something because they listen to this so it has to be something that they say or do or have on them you know like in uh what is the show with like the the three doors and wayne brady and it's like did anyone bring a spoon because oh yeah i want to make a deal yeah i want to make a deal it's like something like that where the audience has to do that and if we meet in life and they have that then we know they're a real fan and that completes the bounty what if it's a coin unless they have to have a coin and then they have to flip it and get heads you succeed at the bounty but if they get tails you fail at the bounty so they have to have the coin to begin with but then you still have to win the coin flip to actually get the bounty how many of these like let's say you run into like three different people can you film it three different times in one go i mean look if that's the life you want to live i i guess i would say if it's like a group of three people i guess and they all meet you all at once like yeah they come that's like one encounter which gives you more odds of them having a coin but you only get a flip i'd say if there's more than one fan they all have to flip though and it has to be majority the majority gets heads okay because that it if there's so many that it gets in your favor so we got to balance it out right what if it's three separate events throughout like the course of a week if it's three i mean but this is the thing right this this happens to be once in a while not a ton but like if it's at different times at different if it's unrelated i think each one is just its own thing right you happen to be out to uh at the mall and it's like you you run into 20 minutes later you run into someone three hours later you if all we have on us is our phone phone quality okay for this kind of recording oh yeah however you record it that's up to you if you want the point you got to keep your your recorders on you and i maybe we could keep it like one per day per purse per each of us one event of meeting fans i don't think i'll typically have to worry about that too much but yeah yeah i'm i'm okay with the cap because i think that pretty much exclusively affects mark yeah yeah it might help make it fair make it fair we're like mark this month we had one fan interaction mark's like dude here's my list of the last hour scroll i've been saving them i've ate videos from yesterday of fans flipping and getting heads most of them didn't get heads dude i haven't talked about how going back to cincinnati is way more like getting recognized in anywhere else i go to i was walking around like uh europe and nobody that's fine which is cool like it's totally fine usually it's not that bad in even la i went around it's totally fine but in cincinnati it's crazy everyone i think anyway literally everyone yeah you're cincinnati man thank you i try to be anyway you're great at cincinnati you're great yeah we are that's a good one that could be practically its own amendment by itself instead of just a bounty if you have a fan interaction you have to get they have to have a coin and you have to get a video of the coin flip and if it's heads you click is it once it's claimed by one of us it's claimed and that's it probably or that's one i could see repeating but it's like also it should have a cool down it's if it should or else it every week we might like what if both like what if both competitors bring in the same bounty for that particular episode share the points split the points okay how many points is a bounty worth i kind of like i feel like five points is a good amount for the range like i i think i tend to give the most points and five points would still sway mine pretty substantially almost all the time and for like mark mark sometimes you only get like five six seven points so it'd be like a huge swing potentially hmm yeah i feel like five makes sense and we can we can look we can adjust that if we decide we need to did we ever decide on how we want to end the constitution episodes whether it's just the host again or whether we want to spin a wheel or how we want to do that why you in a rush you want to get out of here yeah we're having a great time come on well no but i still wanted to answer that before i forgot we'll cross that bridge when we get to it okay i thought i thought we will revisit this in approximately 10 minutes that was our thing i thought we were doing that that was the thing well done we're gonna have like maybe a weekly post where it's like this week's bounties uh suggestions and then we'll have we'll ask the mods maybe to aggregate them into like a master list of bounties yeah yeah i think i think we do need maybe to be able to say like oh that one doesn't count or something like if because i i trust the mods generally but if one gets on there where it's like well go to an in and out yeah if it's too easy it can't be too easy yeah but we can't all do that oh oh okay all right yeah okay it can't be too easy if it was a shake shack there is one of those here but that's maybe in the small talk round we should just have a quick little segment to be like and and these are the bounties we're adding to the list and we could check them over for fairness that that would be us we could have a segment we have a segment the bounty segment sponsored by intel sponsored by bounty paper towels if we do this and that doesn't happen i will never recover i like this i like that they're optional because i'm very lazy and i will only sporadically even want to do them yeah wade's never going to do this this is just extra competition between me and mark wade's not going to engage with this at all 100 it means i will lose even more often but i'm excited for it we could put a bounty on there that would be like wade has to go to his basement on purpose and take a video of himself saying i claim the bounty where i went to my basement for no other reason than this and you would still not do it don't make it my basement because that's where i'm at right now make it like goes outside no but see you're in your basement because we were going to record you'd have to be done recording go upstairs to the rest of your house then consciously choose to go down some stairs to the basement i still think that's too easy for me you have to at least make me like go a place i wouldn't normally go anyway like i feel like you wouldn't do it i'd be willing to put that on there just to see if you'd do it or not because i feel like you'd forget about it and never do it and it'd be fine i also want a system where we could be given secret bounties like that the others don't know about that only we know and they're limited time right like in the next four episodes you could do xyz and it's something that specifically one of us could do we could have the distractible writer give us things because that would be something that none of us would know except whom ever was told i'm so excited for you do this stuff wait it's gonna be a hell of a show for you man just you wait he's playing it cool now he really he really my baddies are gonna be like wade show up and don't look like you just rolled out of bed wade don't order door dash during episode instant fail we don't have to talk about that what do you mean don't have to talk about you literally announced whenever you have to do it every episode i don't say the the place by name they're not paying me i'm paying them i just say food is on the way gentlemen i like this i think do we have we have to have an official vote on this all that stuff we just said i vote i and then adding in some extra being like this system is in progress it's beta and it will this amendment will be in flux over the next few weeks as we feel it out this is a broad constitutional amendment we will work on the regulations as we go okay the right the regs can change and it's full of stuff fully optional none of us has to do anything but we are welcome to and it will definitely give us an edge it's not optional to be subject to the system it's just optional to participate yes agree exactly hi hi hi labor day savings are happening now at the home depot with select appliances starting at 399 plus save up to an extra thousand dollars and get free delivery on appliance purchases of 998 or more get a whirlpool laundry tower featuring industry first uv clean technology designed to reduce bacteria in the wash without fading fabrics plus with great prices at the home depot you can save on select appliances designed to make laundry day easier shop labor day savings at the home depot today offer valid august 27th through september 16th us only see store online for details what if it's fun what if it's like go to a brazilian steakhouse and eat your own weight in meat i can't do that anymore i can eat a lot i can't do that anymore i got out eaten by one of my nephews recently it's ironic because if i weighed less i would probably eat less but because i'm such an eater i feel like i could do it but i weigh so much it might not be physically possible i've been actively trying to vary up my diet a little bit and i've eaten more salads anyway that's not here either here nor there i've been trying to be a little bit better i like this i like this a lot i'm gonna have to i've i know mark will do this and he'll edit his own thing and it will be this beautiful thing i'm gonna need to like have an editor fix mine because it's gonna be a bunch of shaky ass footage of me being like god look at this guys i'm like sam fix it you'll be like wade read a book and i'm gonna have my toe my toes holding my phone up watching me read a book he's like oh god wait it's just a crotch i was like well just trust me bro it's there yeah that's why you need the gopros because they're hyper smooth technology my gopro is literally sitting right there waiting for action you got a mission before me no i didn't have a mission i was filming i was filming james's trains with it i'm gonna be honest he he makes train tracks and then he's like video my train go around the track and i make i have to do it because i feel bad because i i don't even have a gopro here and i always used to i don't even know where my dji pocket is you always had them around i'm surprised you don't i saw empty boxes uh at my storage and it was i don't know where they are i replaced them all with my higher quality cameras that's my problem is like i got a gap between my phone and my big cameras and i need to i watch it gopro you please stick around long enough to give me the fucking camera come expert come expert is that what you're saying that's better right no what's the good synonym for come or another one of them just don't try it approach approach expert approach me expert went con i gotta bust out the old went con for this film the problem word is come just to be clear wade well no i got it but the combination was particularly heinous i mean it's not heinous it's just distasteful and contextually it was actually made us laugh really hard it's true if you weren't the host it probably would have got you some points or something well that's a good thing i'm the host here okay so we all voted in favor of the bounties we're trying to get sponsored by gopro i think we've covered all the important things anything else we need to go over about the constitution i don't there's nothing else that like burns at me where i'm like god why do we do this why don't we do this i think we're i think it's in a pretty good spot oh i was thinking about this do we want to have eddie does it matter if we want to have rules about like bottle episodes or do we want to just do that completely ad hoc like because i'm thinking like if i have a dream and a vision and i'm working with people to put together like tabletop one shot type things where it's like it'll be a complete bottle episode and it's just like on you know it's just us screwing around doing like some tabletop misadventure type thing it could just be when i host i do that but it could also be like if we wanted to do a series you know if it turned out we recorded for three hours because it was really fun and it could just be a multi-part we don't need like a rule for that right it's like if the episode continues we could just split it into multiple parts and it's just like whoever wins hosts the next one i'm fine with to be continued episodes if there's a reason for something to go on for multi-parts i think that should all come out together because otherwise it gets yeah you know i split it up once for that so yeah so i mean i'm fine with that we just get to the end of whatever that is and then we'll do the i just have i have this vision that i'm trying to make actually come to life and it might lead to that but i don't i think it's fine we'll deal with that i'll be fine no i like that i think that we should all prep the audience to explore the concepts of what audio visual podcasts can be because the hosts can do whatever they want right i will say too i'm i'm eventually going to move out of my pile of trash i have a i have a room a room that's unfinished down to the studs that i plan on customizing and developing into an actual studio instead of a bedroom i pile my stuff into and i want it i want it to look nice i don't know if i'm capable of achieving that but i could fi like mark is mark must know someone who can help so i have a goal like the walking every a mile every day i've i reach my goals i want to do that too it's so hard to do that on my knee right now but man i want to be outside it's such beautiful weather in cincinnati right now go to europe you just walk around a lot been high 60s low 70s like the last week or so it's been so gorgeous and like apparently you can't go from north to south not playing basketball to just jumping around like a maniac for two hours and expect your knees to be fine i guess who knew if we're voting for bob's proposal of the continuation of episodes i die oh hi i have a proposal it's a i want to treat the audience like congress and i think we should allocate them a discretionary budget that they can vote what they spend on on a monthly or weekly basis hold on hold on now we're good for us to incorporate into the show right so it's not a lot it's not a lot it's like you can tell that we're we're thin on the money front right now we're like no they're not giving the money no no we're telling them we're giving them our money no wait hold on no veto oh look wait it's not gonna i'll cover yours man it's not gonna be a lot i see i see the vision i see where this is going i like it i think we should allocate like 500 bucks a month to the discretionary concepting and idea budget that they get to spend or make us spend if we if the subreddit can like coalesce around an idea yes we will spend each 500 each on all right hold on or is it total is it total i'm saying it's total but all right okay all right okay 500 each 500 each well i would do i would do 500 each but i'm not trying to force you okay 500 if it was total that's also cool but i feel like 500 each would be like because some some i'm i'm imagining there's going to be some bits right where it's like each of you spend a hundred to a couple hundred bucks on this thing and that's like a bit like a costume or i don't know what right but and i don't i don't know if there needs to be a well this is your thing i'm sort of taking it over i just really like it i think it's a good idea i think that we should have some rules about the predominant purpose of the item despite its actual purpose should be for the improvement and or content of the show and it must be something that we could obtain without and i like the legal terms like that you know yeah undue basically if we like it we'll do it if we don't we won't and it must fit in the view of the camera and none of our cameras look out windows so there's no including of outdoor spaces in that i suppose we should modify that one but it's like it it must be filmable without undue burden so look so this with this i was gonna get to like i don't think we need like a vote number or something this isn't like a hard thing but it needs to be like there needs to be clear consensus that like enough people are excited about something and we are part of the we we are we the people right we are still people here so we can like we can lobby congress we can be the lobbyists we want to be in the world uh or we can you know we could be the supreme court and just say yes yes whatever you said except how we say it and change the laws arbitrarily however we see fit uh or we could be like the president and just executive order whatever we want into existence and say that the people wanted that we can be all three branches of government here because we really are yeah we'll do it you know we'll do it on the fly right we'll make it work it has to work are you sure we're cool with 500 each a month because that is a lot i was going to say originally like a hundred each a month but then like that might not be quite enough to do cool cool it's just depending on whether it's an each thing or a pool thing well what if like we do like a pool of 600 so it'd be 200 each a month yeah what if it's 200 each a month but it's like we could all pool together it doesn't have to hit that amount it can be less one big thing if it's like one big thing if it's like one big thing if it's like one Well, you know, one of us has to do it or something. Well, we'll put it at a tester of like 600 total-ish, 200 of each of us. And that'll be the loose delineation. We'll see what they get and then adjust from there. You know, immediately the ideas are going to be like, go to Guam and fill an episode in a bounce house. Can you get that for 600 bucks? How much are flights to Guam? Can I fit a bounce house in about five square feet? Can't wait for wheels of cheese to appear. Man, I'm waiting for a fucking episode. How many wheels of cheese can you get for 600 bucks? I am not filling my room with styrofoam. I will veto that ahead of time. I like this. I like this. This is going to get the subreddit riled up. We are literally creating the world's greatest podcast. This is the season. I can't wait to veto every idea. I'm excited. We don't have ultimate veto power. We're going to have to play. We're going to have to work within the system, by which I mean, make up our own rules. But we're going to have to appease the people or they will revolt. And so we're officially declaring, I guess, too. The subreddit is the place, right? There's no because there is like a discord and we are looking at the subreddit. The subreddit is the hub of political activity. There might be a need for more real time communication. Again, we'll figure it out loosey-goosey. Should we make the discord the place? I just feel like the subreddit has much more activity generally. That's because we appeal to them a lot. But if we start appealing to the discord, maybe they'd go there. Where are you guys willing to go? Let us know. You guys figure it out. We can't do. We can't do everything for you. Come on. I mean, if the subreddit has the whole thing and they're like, we want the discord and it's everyone's talking about it. Yeah. I mean, we maybe just adjust that on the fly. Yeah. Yeah. It's like by by what they need more than anything. It's like if they need discord is easier communication. The Reddit, I feel like it's easier to see overall topics. Well, but the discord has a has a threads thing now, too. Right. So you basically can have a discord where you also have Reddit threads where it's like it's a more permanent chronological record of a discussion as opposed to like, you know, scrolling chats and chats and chat. It does exist. It's a thing. It's also a little temporary. I think it deletes after a while, but only I think it may only be based on inactivity. So I might auto delete if it's not very active, which might be a good thing. Well, which is perfect because if you're not talking about it, we're not going to do it. Yeah, exactly. I like this. This is interesting. This is dangerous. This might be the greatest constitution episode we've ever had. Three weeks from now. Can't fucking believe this shit. God damn it. I think that's why it's exciting. I think it's exciting because part of me is like, this is definitely going to go wrong in a way we're not understanding right now. And it's going to be, it's hopefully going to be really funny, but it's potentially going to be just a huge pet in the ass. And we're gonna be like, nevermind. We're not doing that part anymore. Back to normal. We always have the ability. We can make it. We can make anything work or not work in accordance with our needs. Plus, Wade has to participate in that part. He might not want to do bounties. I want to do bounties. I think that sounds funny, but you have to participate in the political system we've invented. We'll see about that. No, you have to. I'll see if I find a way out. We'll see. That's fun too. We'll see if you find a way out. Are there any other, any other declarations or proposals? I'm empty. I'm satisfied. I'm just really excited. I'm just thinking about stuff. I can't wait for the, I can't wait for this to come out so we could see how big of a mistake it is. Well, in that case, I've got one final one. And is that the bridge we've come to guys? Look at the bridge. Guess we'll cross it. I think Wade has to host the next one. Yeah, I think yes. I think there's no winner here. We just did our civic duties to the distractible populace and, uh, and then we're back, back to the normal timeline next time. So constitution episodes, the host will there always host the following episode as well. Can't disrupt the chain of succession. Yes. And it's, then it's just arbitrary aside from the fact that the first ever host was completely arbitrary. I'm sure that the chain of succession back to the beginning of time of distractible is completely. Pure and undisturbed. I'm sure it's perfect church. Great. So do we, do we skip wheels and all that then? Yeah. Well, there's no winner. There's no points. I mean, if you wrote down points, you want to say, I guess I did write down points. I can go through them. They don't mean anything, but you could say them if you like them. Well, they mean something. Trust me. All right, Mark, you got points for Sandy leg, acid orifices, uh, goo putting Google on blast F the system drink with no lid audience. Optimism. Good. If this is good. Tied. Okay. Article, maybe good article, good article points because you're going through the articles of the amendment at one point flags, but better boo, boo, uh, two fast four stitches. And then I didn't give any more points because we determined they basically wouldn't matter. So I just kind of quit at that point, Bob, you got two points for drum rolls. You got a point for James power wheels, uh, Bob is Edison, the slide James smile. You pulled off of whenever he was, uh, didn't you say Bob is Edison? Yeah, but I gave you a point cause you inspired me. Okay. I'll take it. I'll take it. Uh, you got a Jim Carey point. Um, you saved the mark with the PS two cry deleting things from wheel. I liked that you gave some good amendment points and I gave you a point for cross that bridge when we get to it. Uh, however many points they are, it doesn't matter because I also gave myself points that says more than them. So I went fair. Well, but you don't win, but that's, but you do host the next one cause you already won, but this is not another win. Just to be clear for the, as the host, I can't think I can call it a win, right? You know what you can, but it goes on last season. This is the, after today, a new season is begun. That means I'm in the last place by less than. Yeah. So it has no effect on anything, but you can have a win. You have the last win of last season. That's the one thing I can say about last season is I at least got one win at the end. Yeah. Who won? Oh, uh, I bet the subreddit knows. I know it was not me. There is, oh, where is it? There is a person who does update every week. Now they do update the charts. Ooh, is that actually? No. Yes. Oh, as of that one, America versus Europe, I might have eked it 37 to 36. Was I the 36? No, wait, you're at 31. Oh, I'm in the thirties. Yeah. You're in the thirties. You weren't that far behind. Oh, it felt like it. I hadn't hosted in two months. Wait, who posted? That I can't find it. Where'd it go? It's in the comments of the America versus Europe. Right, right, right, right, right. They do it in the comments. Farrider6952. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Farrider6952. I will, I will concede that I trust their numbers. They seem to be very thorough. I think they do an honorable job. So in that case, the final score is Mark 37, Bob 36, Wade 32. Can I just say, I really love that they keep statistics on the season. Mark. Mark has 37. I have 36. Wade 32. But Wade has so few wheel spin points that it's not surprising. I've gotten 717 points off of wheel spins. Mark has gotten 677. Wade has 604 wheel spin points on the season. No, without wheel spin points. Oh, I read those backwards. Oh, Wade has the most. Wade has the most wheel spin points. You got 60 and I got 51. And Mark, you got 60. And Mark got 49. Yeah. So he's an outlier. I depend on the wheel. You just suck. Yeah. Well, at least I can declare myself a winner. But that means I lost on wins, but I had the most points on the season. I had 700, I had 40 more points than Mark did on the season. Which I think goes to show that I'm not that low of a scorer, am I? Because if I'm scoring and Wade's scoring. But both of us think Wade doesn't deserve points. That's true. That's true. Yeah. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that. Also, I really like that they kept the number of times on the bonus number of bonus spins. 46, three spins, 35, two spins, 24, one spins. Those are supposed to have an equal chance on the wheel that we spin. That is weighted. It's weighted per choice. It's like it incrementally gives it another chance. I get the cup. You do. Congratulations, Mark, on winning that season. One of these seasons. We're totally going to actually, you know what? If there was a season we were going to do, I should, we should do the cup this. I should send you an actual trophy. We'll make one. Maybe the congressional budget will go towards getting us a goddamn trophy. Who's won the previous seasons? I don't even know who our seasonal winners have been. I think we've each won once. Yes, I think that's true, actually. Out of four? Well, so the first season is like the pre-video era, which I don't know if we had people tracking that so closely. And it was kind of a whole different. Kind of wild west compared to the more structured season, but we did have winners, but I don't know, but I think in the last three years, it's been each of us has won. I think that's right, because I think you won the last one. Didn't you wait? I couldn't tell you. I don't remember. I've at least won one. I know I won one of them. Think I won two years ago, and I think Mark won the first season post video era. I don't recall, but someone out there will tell us some subreddit help defend one of us. Oh, how much is choked on my cough drop, Bob? You're immortal. You don't want to lose that point. Just immediately kicked off the podcast. If I die embarrassing, I could never at my funeral, I expect you to to come busting in a stadium full of weeping mourners is celebrating my life. And Mark and Wade just he's off the show. He's not take down the banners. He's not one of us. We just graffiti the headstone with shame. If you don't do it. and I'll haunt your dicks. verdicts the back heel it'll be alternating weekends or something like you know it'll be like child custody situation all right well that said no winner speeches no loser speeches that's our constitution so uh congrats to us for five years we've done it we've made episodes we've stuck with it for five years i am so sick of you guys i can't wait to be over with this he's not joking these shirts might be probably gone they're probably already gone in this one we are doing it slightly differently uh the 4xls appear to be sold out never fucking mind i don't know look i don't know i'll give you a point for that if i could that's funny anyway yeah distractible.shop go it's there you can there's stuff get the stuff get the stuff if you haven't already go follow bob at my skirt market market plier me at minion 777 or lord minion 777 there was a post that told me i didn't even know how many sevens were in my name so i want to make sure i got it right that time uh this is distractible follow the podcast keep up with us check out the discord check out the reddit check out the merch and i guess i'll have another banger episode for you next time where the points will mean a lot more until then podcast out labor day savings are happening now at the home depot with select appliances starting at 399 plus save up to an extra thousand dollars and get free delivery on appliance purchases of 998 or more get a whirlpool laundry tower featuring industry-first uv clean technology designed to reduce bacteria in the wash without fading fabrics plus with great prices at the home depot you can save on select appliances designed to make laundry day easier shop labor day savings at the home depot today offer valid august 27th through september 16th us only see store online for details this episode is brought to you by chat gpt hey it's bill simmons from the bill simmons podcast have you guys heard about chat gpt work it's the new way to use chat gpt for bigger multi-step projects and when you need more than just answers give chat gpt work access to your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets slides and structured reports get started at chat gpt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro plans