The Costco King w/ Tom Thakkar!

New York City, New York this November 13th. We're doing some shows for the New York comedy festival at Gotham Comedy Club. These shows will sell out quick, so get them. It's stand up with me and the big man. Then we play a little AYG with the crowd. You've seen the special. You've seen the clips. Get your take ease and let's party. Welcome to another exciting edition of "Are You Gobbage?" The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is "Are You Gobbage?" It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they're going to be classy. They're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tuddy's in a new edition. She got thrown out of a sippin' paint last night. Okay. Good for a scruffuffle over there. Alright. That was a win right? I left that in. My coach's coming at you. Get the lift and move. He's the CEO of "Are You Gobbage?" He's an international business man, father of the year, king of the burbs, king of the boards. Kevin James Ryan everybody. Shut up gang, shout out to you as always. Make sure you're right. You subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the freaking charts. That is true. And obviously the greatest website all the time, www.patreon.com. So I show you garbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content gang. Sir gang, we could be more excited about our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guests. Back with us again today. I believe this is the third time on the program. He's family, legend four. Now look out. Ladies and gentlemen, he's got a brand new podcast. You hurt my feelings. One of our absolute favorite comedians out there working. Give it up from Mr. Tom to Carter. Wow. What an intro. Number two. Number two, data the year was. What a thank you. I appreciate that man. What an intro, buddy. You've been taking classes. That was amazing. Hey, sobered up. Stop is a dad. Are you sober these days? I'm sober. You're looking great, buddy. Thank you, I appreciate it. You look great. Love this shirt. The thing, the one thing that's not you. Couldn't wait to hear the news. Eyebrows looking great. Those new socks. Those are fucking nice. They're not news. Are those compression socks? Things are snapping back, big dog. Also, what? Correction. This is your sixth appearance. It's a true. That seems great. That's great. Yeah. That's correct. I'm looking at it. I'm looking at six to one, two, three, four. It must have been some rerun. One of those was remote. Also further, not further, you know, for the new listeners that might have come on and not be familiar with. Go back. Go back. Go back. Go back. Tom was one of the guys we didn't really know at the beginning. We've told this story before to the old school homies and bozos, but we didn't really know in the beginning of the game. And we thought we literally thought we're like, he's going to be corny. You know, like he said, we thought you were like, we're just like, we feel like regular midwife. Dude, he is a one if the show was built for anybody. It's built for fucking Tom. Go back. It is nice. Like sometimes, because you know you'll search your own name for shit. Sure. Like sometimes just to look up a clip to submit for some shit that you're not going to get. But I'll often find. Get her. I'll kind of like the time to go on it. You know, hey, why'd you read it? Thread and people are so fucking nice on there, but they're always like, this guy's a true piece of shit. It's really his man. He kind of like changed the current of the of the game. He showed up. I think the first time he showed up and we started the show and then he leaned down. And like not even performative leaned down and pulled out a Bud Light line. Yeah, I didn't know that it was those films. In fact, I almost did it again. If we had done 2 p.m. like we were going to show. I wouldn't have thought about it. I wouldn't have a cheer if it was 6 a.m. to keep you sober. I thought I was like, they changed it. So I wouldn't bring up a guest here. They're worried about me. I think you guys are coming with two bloody marries. Isn't that helmet? And by the way, I leave for five seconds. You guys give you and fight. It's gout. What the hell's happening out here? We like him now. That's the end zone. Also, I love it. You walked in. You're like garage beer now. Like that was the first thing. Yeah, because it was fun. I remember because I was like, am I going to drink a Bud Light in the morning? Yeah. That used to just be a managerie or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome back, man. I'm great. You're a new dad. New dad, baby boys, about to be almost a year old. Crazy stuff. Living in LA. I think the legs. You can have to choose between crisps or bloods pretty soon. Yeah. You got to register them early. Sure. It's like a preschool in Manhattan. Yeah. You want them to get them into the goods set? Get them into the right daycare. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh. The last time you were here, you just moved into the house. How's the house? That was just good. The house is good. The house is good. You know, we were talking about it. It's kind of a tough neighborhood. Like we got. It's a different style of things. It's, uh, you definitely hear helicopters quite a bit. Really? I had to, I had to re-download that citizen app. That's, that's dangerous. That's dangerous. That's dangerous. I know, I have to, I delete it after every time I find the information I want. Uh-huh. What are you looking for? Like there was a helicopter down the lock. There was a helicopter like at the end of my block for a while. I kept hearing them say shit. And I was like, I am a baby. Over the helicopter thing. I could hear them. And they were saying, uh, come out. Like we've seen you or whatever. It was like, what do they know about it? They know that I, uh, I've been stealing soda from Chipotle. What the hell's happening? I was just a water cup. I swear. It's soda water. That's basically water. But it was a guy who had been like a salty people in neighborhood in somebody's backyard. And they just had him. And so I downed, I was like, what the hell's happened? I don't want to go out there and see what's going on. And so I downed, I deleted immediately. And the comments are like, this neighborhood fucking sucks. I'm glad we're reasonable here. I've seen the helicopter attack. I never heard of the loudspeaker. Yeah. That's got to be frightening. Yeah, for sure. I mean, in the middle of the night, like the lights will pass over you. This was a great, it was fucking noon. It was crazy. Up and Adam. Yeah, this guy shirtless. Yeah. Yeah, he was a go getter. That's the thing. LA is so beautiful. You just want to get out there. You know, the weather's so good. I packed the cake. You know what I mean? Man, they catch you shirtless. You're in a lot of trouble. Yeah. Um, one of the things, uh, we've been asking. Since what is the thing you do that makes you feel classy? It might not have to be like expensive or like something when you maybe valet your car or, hey, I like getting this nice coffee. It's something. It doesn't have to be real. I think this is an embarrassing one, but it does make me feel hoody-toity. So I'm a big Costco guy now. Huge. So bad stuff. Bad start. I don't. Did you buy a Costco for me? I put it in a tuxedo. And as for samples, I've put it the tires at Costco. I install them and it makes me feel, no, I buy. You know those, uh, those like, I'm asked. Do they have this? They're by the register. Dude, I've been doing them. They make me feel so good. That's dude. That's, that makes, that's kind of where the question originated. That makes me feel nice too. Yeah, it's, it's the littlest thing you can do. It's such a fucking Hail Mary of like, maybe this will fix me. I don't know. This will take off the jersey and drink it. Dude, that's exactly it. But it's like, my Costco card is all over the fucking map. I bought the protein Doritos over there. You had the protein. Do you know what those are? The NKDs? Yes. No, no, no, no. These are different. Actually, the NKDs are for like, I think anti-GMO people. Yeah. Yes. It's naked. That's what it means. Let me see the tips on this. NKD. NKD naked. Yeah. I think he's talking about the quest chips though. No, these are, these are Doritos. I have seen them. Let me see the questions. Yeah. I like a popcorn or though. Yeah, me too. Protein Doritos. Yep. That's them. Yeah. Right there it is. That's my guy. Yeah. I was like, I've seen a pre-workout situation. Yeah. I go into the gym just crumbs all over my shit. What do you guys got? Way protein. Don't worry, trainer. I'm ready to go. They got the nacho cheesy recreate the classic cheesy profile with lower carbs and higher proteins. I say, man, you know, when you're used to eating bull shit, like diet food, it's pretty good. It's how like you get used. Now people prefer diet coke a lot of times. But it's like when you get used to that, you're like, this is pretty fun. Good for some of the tastes like shit. I've gotten to the point now sometimes where I can't tell if it's diet or regular coke. That's crazy. Until you have a regular coke. And then you know what's up. Yeah. I might just have the NKD. They do have the yes. Yeah, it's both. But yeah, my flavor profile is because I've been, I gained a bunch of weight when I moved L.A. And I've been trying to lose it. And so I got rid of all the good stacks in my house. So now my flavors are all fucked up. And I ended up in this situation. I just remember this. And I was like, I can't wait to tell you guys about it. I was in a miniapolis doing this club. Sissiv is brewery. Yeah. Okay. And I hadn't eaten all day. I'm leaving the bar to go to another bar. And I was like, you got to go to another bar. That was a tragedy. We got to get the fuck out of here. There's another bar over here. We're serving colder beers down the street. We're late to the other bar. As I'm walking out, I haven't eaten all day. I'm starving. I see that they have beef jerky just sitting there to take. Like they have samples of beef jerky. I was like, this is fucking perfect. So I grabbed like three little bags of these. And it's kind of dark in there. I don't notice. I'm getting the car. I mean this jerky. This jerky tastes like fucking shit, man. It's the worst jerky ever. It must be vegan or something. And the next night I'm back at the club. And I noticed the beef jerky is still there. And I notice there's a bowl of water underneath it. Oh, they're dog trees. There's fucking dog trees. I ate two bags of dog trees. I love how you ate the second one too. The fur weren't deterred by the person. I'm like, let's see if maybe the next bar has beef jerky. Yeah, it's called deer antlers up front. I didn't notice there was a dog on the package. But it's small and it has like sunglasses. I was like, this is a cool cutting edge moose. It's cool. They got. Yeah, dog beef jerky. You have on your countertop in the house. - You mean like appliances? - Yeah, small appliances live there. - Okay, so we have an air fryer? - Classic. - Okay. - How big would you say the air fryer is? - It's about a foot, I'd say, you know? - A foot long foot deep. - Before you go through this, just so you know that the cleaner the countertop, the less things the classier it is. - I understand, this is not a clean. - Kippy, what do you think the total number? - I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know. - Over five. That's probably a real good over under. I would say, I put you a smidge. And I'm gonna say this because he's got the baby. There's a lot of stuff comes with that. - Sure, I'll give you that. - You got the blender, you're doing a bunch of shape. You typically wouldn't be doing. - That's true, I'm trying to scope it out 'cause it's possible I'm missing some, but we don't have a regular toaster anymore. That broke, that's out the fucking way. - Was it a toaster oven or toaster? - It was just a toaster. But now the air fryer is also a toaster oven. We got a combo, so if you count the combo, we got like four appliances in one. We got a steel on our hands. - We got three easy payments of 1990. - Yeah, we're in the hole. - Those air frires do everything. - They really do. - Throw everything and stress me out. - Put a sock in there. - Which stretches you out? - Yeah, that's too much shit. - Sure. - That's doing too much. I just use the oven, my wife used the air fryer. But we got that, we have a water heater. You know what I'm talking about, for tea or whatever. - I'll a kettle. - A kettle of water here is crazy. - I was like, I was like, do they? - We got things. - Not having that. - Got a coolant system right there. - Yeah, I'm not a handy guy. I forgot that it's like verbal water. - You don't know the kettle on the stove? - We have both, my wife likes the electric one. - Yeah, we got the electric kettle, but that we also have the kettle on stove for some reason. - Can I, is it a tea drinker? - I'm not, my wife is. - Your wife is. - Maybe a hot toddy. - Pull a little booze in there. (laughing) - New year's day. - Is it the clear one, or is it like a, can you see it? - It's metal. - It's steel. - Stainless steel. - All right. - It's stained. - No, no. - We bought stained steel. - You got the kettle. You got the air fryer. - You got the air fryer. Sometimes we do have a blender up there. Big old blender. - Four. - Margarita Mondays. (laughing) - Well, my wife will get in the mood. We were a purifying like baby food. - Sure, yeah. - That's one. - We can read those. - We have the microwave, but that's above the stove. - Okay, yeah. - It's sitting on the counter, Tara. - All right. Is that recessed? - Yes. - Okay. - Yes. - It'd be wild if it was just shutting out. - It's recessed. - So it's in a spot for itself. - It's a set place for a microwave, that is correct. - Did that come with the house or did you have to buy it? - They came with the house. - Yeah. - The mother fuck went up on my house. They took it. - Oh, what did it do? - It took me to the chief asshole. - It took me like 10 days to be like, what is missing here? (laughing) - My wife's like the microwave. - It's a big ass hole, yeah. - Yeah, ours didn't come with a fridge or, they took the fridge and I was like, yeah, I guess we'll get a new fridge or whatever. But it's like, it's a pain in the ass. And then a washer dryer, dude, they have baseboards in the little recess where our washer dryer goes. It's like one of those things where they did a rust job on making it look nice. - Yeah. - But they put baseboards down and the guys who installed the washer dryer just jammed them in, but they don't fit. And so they're uneven. We just left them like that for four years. - Pretty good. - Yeah. - What are you gonna do? Other stuff on the countertop. Oh, we have an espresso. - Classic. - Gentleman. - We have an espresso. And then we have, - Coffee machine? - Yeah. - In which we don't use. It's just sitting there. - Is it a cure? - It's like a coffee pot. - So we have a cure egg that's like, wait, we also have a single cure egg. - Jeez. - We have like four coffee ingredients. - Are you working on Starbucks? - You know what, this is where it all went to shit. This is where all I was like, we're actually pretty clean. - Yeah, we have four fucking things in the corner. - It's therapist. - Taking up a lot of space over there. - Well dude, why don't you lose that corner. - It goes quick. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? You're like, I just shove it like things next thing. You know, you're just like five things deep off the wall. - Is everything plugged in? - There's not enough plugs for everything to plug in. - I'm fighting the same battle dude, it sucks. - So dry. - It sucks. - And if we plug too many of them at the same time, the breaker fucking goes out. - Where's the breaker at the box? - It's around the, like, side of the garage. So I gotta run out there and flip it. And there's a big ass bush that I gotta lean over. - Outside? - Yeah, it's outside. Is that weird? - Yes. It's covered. - That's a crazy. - I guess, I don't know. - No. - No, there's no basements. I mean, mine's in the basement. - We have a garage, it could go in, but it's out in there. - That might be normal for LA though, I don't know. - So somebody could come to the side of your house and just turn your lights off. - You know what I never thought about that? They could, yeah. - Yeah, you could if you wanted to just come turn all my shit off, you could. - And I lived it. - That's crazy. - That's crazy. - I think LA, it's like emergency access for like firefighters, if I need to access it. - Yeah, that makes for like building codes. - Yeah, that's that makes sense. But yeah, I never thought about that. It's somebody could just fuck my shit up. (laughing) - I'm gonna ruin my damn Spider-Man's scene. - I'm gonna spress so. - Wow. - Okay. - That's a lot. I mean, I think that was like nine or 10. - I think I did. I really thought it was gonna be three when I started. I forgot about all those coffee things. - You got to the espresso. - That's very good. - The espresso stuff. - What do you think? - Where's my wife is the espresso. - Yeah, I'm a cold brew through and through. - Where do you get the cold brew? - I get it off Amazon.com. - I get to like bottled cold brews. - That's classy. - You think? - No, no, wait, go to my salon. - They're like the-- - Let me see if I can find one. - So there's a Starbucks one. There's a Starbucks iced coffee one. - Is it a Concentrate? - Not a Concentrate. I don't fuck with those anymore. - Those things. - Let me know when you get it. - Let's see. If you go to Amazon, search cold brew, it's no, oh wait, it's those Starbucks right there. That's one of them that I get. - That's classy. - That's not bad. - That's very classy. - Look at how cheap it is though. It's way less than you'd think it would be. - I don't know. 4.99 for 48 ounces. - 48 ounces. - It comes like a dollar dot, you know, what's that? - Yeah. - You put an ice in there? - Oh yeah. - What kind of ice would you work on? - You got just the trays. - Freezer makes the ice in the big house thing. - A little ice cream. - Classic. - Classic. - Yeah. - Whoops. - They're not Cressants. They're just cubes in a big old bucket. - All right. - I got buckets. - And a big old bucket. - Do you have a little spoon and you have a little shovel in there? - I didn't ever think of people doing that. I go by the hand. - Yeah. - If it's your house, you go by the hand. - You come to my house, you're going to get a little hand dice. All right. I respect it. - Yeah. - Yeah, I should probably put a spoon down there. I was staying with an actual classy person last time I was in New York and they had the spoon and I was like, oh yeah, never even thought of that. - Not at that house. - I mean, if you're coming over and you're drinking, I guess, maybe. - 'Cause we don't have it on the fridge where it comes out, you have to touch it. - I don't have it either. - I guess I would go in with the cup and try it. - That's one way to do it. - Somebody outside of my family. - Oh yeah, the cup. - I'll do that sometime. - When I'm making somebody a cocktail, sometimes I'll scoop. - Yeah. - But why is it the ice in the coffee, you're just like, if anybody was making me a drink at that house. - That's the holes killing all the germs. - Let me ask you this. The why am I so sick? - Let me ask you this, you're at a party, okay? You got the cooler, but the beers, so does all that stuff in there. Would you use that ice to make a drink? - Yes, I have. - Yeah, it's desperate times call for desperate measures. - Some of you don't separate that. - Yeah. - You'll give you a fresh thing ice. - It's hard. Well, it's like, I'll have the cooler. I can only have so much ice in the cooler and then I can only have so much of my freezer. And if I have, sometimes we'll have big parties in my house, so it'll be seven people or something. - Really? - But we have done that before the July, it's too many people. We can't really do that anymore, but right before my baby was born, we had like 70 people at the house. - He's throwing blowouts? - That's sick. - It was fun. We can't really do it anymore. But I bought, that's what, when I was in New York, I would host these crazy parties all the time that we're like-- - 70 people. - You just send out the invites and then I would cook, you know, a million hamburgers and hot dogs and shit. - You know? - Sick. - Yeah, it was a good time. - It's a fucking wedding, I would love to go to church. - People filter in and out, you know, it's also LA, so people come for like an hour and a half and then they're like, I've got to get back to my dog, you know? Everybody's got a goddamn dog, they get back to you. - You got to sit in the valley. - Yep. And it's like, they got to go somewhere else and it's like, if people only ever do maybe two things in LA, because the traffic's too brutal. - Mm-hmm. - That makes sense. - Man. - Mm. - They're all in bashes. - What's up gang? - We got mogul, mogul is a real estate investing platform built by Goldman Sachs, real estate alumni. I'm going to say that again. 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You are like just Johnny America. Wait, what is it that doctor pepper zero plus cream soda is one of the best things that anybody we got to get these scientists to cure cancer man. It's tough. They're doing in the lab. They're like the same as Taco Bell where it's like that is the one it's I don't even seen never seen it. Yeah, strawberry. That's good. Strawberry is good. The they have a I think a blackberry one that's pretty good to this cream soda one. I've changed a lot of people's lives. And I'm a and I'm one of those cans. Yeah, Dr. Pepper is really really. Dr. Pepper is sneakily innovating in ways that nobody can touch speaking of which my Pepsi. Big fan of Pepsi. Your big Pepsi guy big Pepsi guy has just lost another war. Kentucky fried chicken is switched over from Pepsi Coca Cola. That's a big L. That's a thing aren't young brands in them. They're like connected. I thought is young up. I don't know. That's tough man. I will say Pepsi gets so much shit. And this is my thing. I think obviously Coke is better. I think obviously, but sometimes I want a Pepsi. Sure. Taco Bell has Pepsi. Yeah. And I am a big can't let go. If they let go, then it's over. You might as well get RC Cola in the mix. Who can I like that? RC is not bad. But sometimes you want to fucking die at Pepsi. It's so I got to be honest here. And this is this is nuts. But we've been on the last handful of like diners and restaurants. We went to it's been. That's funny. You mentioned it. It's been. I think I might go fountain Pepsi. I'd prefer. I cook over Coke. I love a coke and I love a coke bottle of a die coca die co bottle. I'll never buy a can of Pepsi. Yeah, but I like it. I think I prefer. It's just that's got to. It's that a little bit more serif. It's a little sweeter. It's true. And that's what I mean. That's Taco Bell. I'll get the Pepsi zero or die Pepsi. Whatever comes with it. It's it hits so hard. It hits so hard. I've noticed this more record. You're right about that. Is that where we've been or what? I don't know. The last 10 places I want to like die Pepsi. And I went. Yeah, hit me with it. Hit me. Pizza Hut was a die Pepsi too. Wasn't it? Yeah, I think they were coke though. Right. They're big red cups. Oh, yeah, they did. But I don't think those red cups were. Or coke though. I think maybe they switched. Yeah, they were digging. They were. They do Pepsi products. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I remember I think that's the first place I had Pepsi. Oh, it takes me back all the memories summer and 91 Tony Hawk was doing seven 20s. I have a Pepsi first time. That's all right. Okay. Yeah, cause that's that's the one. I think that's the right answer for product. Cause it came right off the dome. And I was I was thinking about how quick that like because like that's a hard question. That's a very open-ended question. Not have you ever done this or you don't like. Right. What are you and I'm a big product. I'm a huge consumer. I told you I go to Costco. Like I go to Costco like three times a week. I fucking love it. What are you doing at Costco? Yeah, one thing. I have beer. Yeah, I got a Costco. I got to line some silly long for one thing. They move fast. They know what they're doing over there. Yeah, I got. I got. I take the baby because it's so hot in L.A. Sometimes me and him will just go to Costco and eat samples and hang out. That's sick. That's sick. I never told you to do it. Don't tell childs. You're watching one of those big STDs sitting in a lawn chair. Almost like a thorough living room. A big guy. That's because you need something to do with the baby. You do it. It's so hot. We go. You walk or you got a lot of shoes too hot. So it's like a couple times. It's a super Costco. Yeah, my wife got us like a museum pass. I was like, we're going to go to Costco. Yeah, that's crazy. That's my museum. They got new stuff all the time. Sure. What, um, that's good. What what staples do you always get a Costco's? I'm not. I'm not a Costco guy. They did. They weren't. We were a Sam's Club growing up. Yeah, we had Sam's Club too. I didn't realize it was the same thing basically until I got the membership to Costco. I still prefer. I don't know why I prefer Costco. There is something to it. Maybe it's just that that's what I've got. But I remember being depressed in Sam's Club a little bit. Yeah, it's always when you're a kid, it's way too much shit. Like everything's in such a bowl. And it's so hot. It's like just like you're in a factory. I try to become a Costco guy. I just didn't take. I think it's harder out here. Cause like, you need, there's not enough room in Ian's basement for, uh, for the shit you're gonna buy. That's all. Is that me or is that I don't want to sweetest people? You're on a bed of Swedish meatballs. Take some cheese please. I got a bag of baby bell cheese. I got trash bag. Be losing money not to get this much. It's crazy. You go into Costco and you grab something and then there's there's six more attached to it. Yeah. You're like, what the fuck? I remember the first time trying to buy condiments. I was like, hell yeah, they have mustard. I was like, it was a three pack of giant mustard. Yeah, I guess we got 70 people. This is, it was reverse engineering here. I went to Costco. I was like, we better have fucking 70 people over. We're good. The one by my old apartment in, uh, story is, uh, like one of the busiest ones in the, in the, probably world. Yeah. Because all the bodegas go there and get this shit and you go in there on a fucking Saturday. It's like, fuck it. We were. Yeah. It's chaos in there every day. There's you can't find a day where it's not chaos in there. And I, I enjoy the chaos a little bit. I like to weave in and out like a running back. You pick up my gaps. You pick up any gear over there. You're a Kirkland man. I do. Yeah. I got a Kirkland golf gloves and golf balls. Carl Kirkland 2018 Kirkland. I got a Kirkland CRV. Yeah. That of my six of them, but, you know, street parking's a bit. Kirkland casket. What do you bring? What do you bring? Uh, your bags that get out of there? Or do you just get boxes off the shelf? I just get box stuff. I don't even do that. I take it raw at the time. Like I see for all don't get raw dog. Got it with a huge porcelain. But I like there some of the stuff I buy there. My wife likes to see weed snacks. And so I'll get a big day of a ton of those. And then I'll buy some soups. I just bought a bunch of soups. What kind of soups you're going to? They had Campbell's chicken noodle and bowl. I said, it's low sodium. I can do that. Wait, the can. Mm-hmm. And then I got those protein Doritos that are a giant bag. I like to get their wine. It's the truth. The Costco brand wine. It's honestly good. They have a Pinot Noir. I'm telling you put it inside right in your seat. They got the greatest from their grocery part. Yeah, man. That one. That's they have a bunch of them. Honestly, but that is one of them. Yeah, Kirkland. Russian River. Some of them are expensive too. Like 20 bucks. Yeah, I mean, it's good. All right. They have to have a casco with the hills. Pinot Noir. 2029 bucks. That's expensive. The one that I get is just Kirkland Pinot Noir. It's like 10 bucks. And it's pretty good. This is the thing. If you're getting a $10 Kirkland bottle. That one. That might they change it up all the time. They're doing innovative things that Costco. But if you that one. It's all good actually, but I buy almost every bottle that they have just to try it out But if it's $10 Kirkland bottle, it's probably like an $18 normal bottle is how I think of it Yeah, you're that you're at your Costco exchange rate exactly. Yeah. What did Costco close at today? Yeah, I'm sure Yeah, I like theirselts or waters their beer is good too They have a beer that is from another brewery like a Portland brewery. That's like a real one I cannot remember what's all real like it's like a real beer legit brewery, and it's like 12 bucks for 12 vloggers, and it's pretty fucking good. I had nobody's complaining when I serve it 70 the babies all over it. Do you have people over a lot not anymore? No, we're gonna have a big birthday bash for the boy He turns one on Halloween. Okay, wait, so that's coming up that's coming up How many people is coming to that like 60 supposedly we'll see people are fucking flakes and Six a lot of people I can't we're not stunned by this 60 People over you feel mostly family fray. I'd have to have family. Yeah, that's part of it But we have you know, we're coming or my my wife is a journalist. She has a bunch of friends. They they're social and I've you know Comedians are fucking moochies. They'll come get a free beer burger. I heard to cars got free Kirkland beer There will be people roll it in that I'm like, I don't even think I've met you before it is like I was part of shirt Dude this this was the first indicator to me that out my neighborhood's not so great is a I love Halloween And I love I was so hyped about this is my first time having a house not living in like a kind of shitty apartment in New York There's gonna be kids coming by for candy. I can't wait. We're gonna steal the costumes I sat out there for an hour and a half not one kid came by and then finally one kid like after I'd already gone in the house I was like this is embarrassing power off to my I bought a hundred dollars worth of candy at Costco because they have those big ass bags and And sure enough like we just had it all in our house for the one kid who came got like 30 bucks worth of candy I think because I did I just felt like I don't want to shit in my house sure and so I'm I'm gonna buy candy. I bought a little candy already again just in case I don't ever want to be the house that somebody comes Like you don't have any fucking candy. You probably don't like DVD. We're gonna get them They have that cost outside. This is become a Costco thing. They have this giant fucking skeleton guy I know exactly 180 bucks That could be I've been eyeing that thing for a while. There's pictures in my phone a bit multiple pictures Is I've gone to Costco taking a pic sent to my wife? What do you think? I know what is she I'm bored with it now. No, she doesn't Then she made a good point. It's like where the fuck do you put that after you know keep it up all your room? Dress them up like Santa Claus She got in the office every day. Not every house. That's half an half. Okay, and then you're you're on dad duty I'm on dad duty. We just started daycare and then so I do that's right. I'm finally Ankle bracelet for rehab beers in here Okay So what's the day-to-day with you and the kid? What are you doing? I well? I pick him up in the afternoon We hang out we get up in the morning. No, sometimes mostly my wife does the morning and then I do the evening And it's it's a nice little deal not sleeping in I'd say 8 a.m All right, I'm gonna make me have a one-year-old that might as well be new It's three days. You will wake me up at like 7 30 with them. I'll watch him for a little bit while she gets ready But and then we the weekends it's it's all bets are all for doing you know up with the baby, but But yeah, I do the I pick him up in the evening or the afternoon we hang out we I make him I cook a lot of his meals So I do a lot of meal prep for his little one. What are you doing first little ass? A little country. What's he like? He you know, he likes everything right now. It's great protein. He doesn't I give him anything Taco Bell puts out when you go to the side Pepsi when you're in when you're a Costco and you get a sample You give him a little sample. I do. Yeah. Oh my god. He wants it within some shit a little fried chicken cord on blue I did give him something kind of like that exactly. He was like what the fuck is this? But they'll have like bread and put they'll have like a potato thing that he can eat. That's like not salty But I make him I've been making him different. I make him meatballs I make him with like little smashed in carrots and shit. Okay, made him some chicken nuggets the other day I make him a lot of pasta pot. I love pasta. Love pasta. It's true. Yeah. It's fucking loves it And it's so sick bananas are big if he sees a banana It might be his first thing. I didn't recognize that that's what he was saying at first But I think he's saying Nana. Yeah, but he loves bananas and if he sees one on the counter He's like really? Yeah, he gets it for me. So you have fruit on the counter. Yeah, we do have fruit on the counter We got bowls. We got a lot of shit on the counter. There's not because we can't know you asked appliances I was like if you asked anything else we got bread we got bananas. We got Basket like a picnic you lift up. No, we could use one of those though. That would be nice My wife puts the bread in the fridge. Yeah, keep it. It buys a couple days Yeah, but then you fucking bread is cold Freezer. She does freezer actually freezers right. I hate it because it's really then you have to toast it You know what I mean? But what do you mean? What do you mean? Are you making like a turkey sandwich? I don't mind a cold bread I don't mind it. It's frozen though. Can I take some frozen fresh? It's crazy Put it in a freezer and you toast it. It makes the toast crispier. Okay. All right. That's something Yeah, I'm a little moisture in there when you put white rice in the fridge. It does something with the starch content later I'll toast and let it sit for a few minutes. Let that's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah, it's just all these extra steps I'm I got it I don't mind here man. I got a tea time to get to you. I get a tea time. You're doing a Where are you going for the hot you do that much? I started on the chip and put it now I mostly play at this very bad course It's called it's called Alhambra on the it'll look better on the website than how do you spell it? It's a L H. A. M. B. R. A. Golf course and physical and it's like the greens are crab brass they're infected Yeah, it looks better than it is. That looks beautiful. Yeah, it looks nice and they have on the weekday on Monday through Wednesday They have $32 rounds because it with the cart because it's a it's a shady and Municipal golf course. That's good course. I have a good time out there. Go. What are you shooting now with days? Ooh, probably about 90 that's good for this course. I yeah I can shoot 90 there. If you put me on like a legit like tough course, I'm probably like 95 Like a real golfer. I mean under a hundred under a hundred good. I almost always break a I almost always break on it I got it. I shot an 81 on this course and I was I was really living I'm real living living off that It is so funny where it's like I loved it. I don't really drink on the golf course much But I for a while I always did and I realized the second I stopped I was like, why am I so much better at golf when I don't drink Yeah, it's crazy and you don't want to think that because it's so much more fun to go more social Yeah, you live in a dream out there kid. Yeah, you know, it's all right Sorry, buddy. I think it was mostly on me. It was But uh, yeah, it's fine. I don't do you know, I don't have a social life other than these 70 people that come over once Yeah, that's crazy. You don't see anybody. I live in a part of town where it's like I tell people and they're like, yeah, maybe I'll see you next year You know, there's people that I live in LA that I saw more when I lived in New York Yeah, it's tough, but you know, I'm doing all right out there. I can't complain. That's good. Hmm What else do we have here? Speaking of the kitchen one of if I walked in do can we see the trash can in the kitchen? You can where is it at? It's it's like the laundry room, but the laundry room is open air next to the open air. It's open. There's no door It gets down by the police. There's a roof over it And you could see you could see and also we had the litter box over there, which was brutal because we have a guest room You're welcome to live at if you ever want to come by we could use another guy because I live with the cars. I'd be alright Because the mortgages Clicked up from the scoop the litter box. We got a litter robot that's this giant fucking clan man Dude, you think it is and then you have it. It's like it smells like shit It doesn't do what it says it's gonna do and there's fucking cat piss and shit all over it We got to we're constantly having to scrape it and you feel that man Yeah, my life fucking sucks man. I'm a killer That shouldn't 91 It's funny that I come in. I'm all in a good mood the more questions. I'm like it's my life fucking suck Is the trashcan you step your foot on it step your foot? All right doesn't pop as much as you like They lose their spunk. They lose their spunk dude. It's crazy. The spring. I can use a new one of those because you sort of have to help it with your hand a little more than you'd like to Especially with all the fucking baby food at the top of it. You're like, yeah, man. I hope I don't touch any of it Oh, when was the last time you were on a boat We just had a nightmare of a experience on a boat Because my it was a great trip. We uh, it was a baby like All my wife's friends have babies around the same age just slightly older so we all We all decided to go to this, uh, this lake, uh, town in Wisconsin, uh, moose lake and, uh, moose lake. We rented a, uh, like one of those little, I think pontoon boats. It's tiny. Is he from Wisconsin? No, it's been, uh, some of the people live in Chicago, so we were like, oh, this would be a fun destination for all of us. No, oh, actually, I think it is. Oh, is it the fucking? When was this? This would have been like July. Some of the things. There was real little family vacation, little family vacation. We flew to Chicago. Okay. It was a, honestly, kind of a night bear travel thing because the baby, it was the first trip we'd taken with him where he's old enough to, he won't sleep on the plane. Yeah. And he just wants to be entertained the whole time. His favorite game right now is he just grabs my glasses and throws them to the fucking ground like a bully. It's called bitch, it's called bitch out there. But he needed to be doing that the whole time and then we get in a car and it's two more hours. And he's like, what the fuck are we doing? I thought we were done. He said there's his first words. I brought it here to my head. Nana, what the fuck are we doing out of here? You don't shoot no 81. Yeah. How many fucking Mulligan's you pussy? What the hell? You don't even go. Yeah. But we got on this little boat. And also the boat from the jump was like, this guy was at the Airbnb to like, who owned the boat and he's like, making us fill out all this paperwork. I'm the only one old enough. I get, I guess you had to be over 35 to like rent the thing and everybody else is like 34. So they had to put the boat in my name and I was like, I don't know, I know I know exactly where this goes. I'm in the hole for 10k for a fucking boat. I've just got to run to Mexico with that with the baby. Okay. So I think of a boat or a little bit, it's a little, it's about the size of this table. And there's eight babies on it or something, there's six babies, six babies, 12 parents. That's a big. I'm full size pie. We don't fit. We don't fit. It's we're on there, but we should not be on there. Babies have nowhere to go. They're all fucking screaming their heads off. Who's driving the boat? My buddy Jesse, he's, he's, he's kind of like a real man, you know, he's like an outdoors he tight. He can, he can do this stuff. He's like, his, for his wedding, he like kayaks down this, we all went like, river, what do you call that? We're all tubing. And he was on this crazy kayak flying through the rapids or whatever. He's like a, you know, runny guy, yeah. So he, I knew right off the job. I was like, cause the guy was like, you have to drive the boat to me. And I gave Jesse a little winky new, I go, oh, I'll be driving, all right. And I was like, I want to have some beers out there. Got to sit back and just cut to the fucking shit, got to this Kirkland half of ice and I wanted to pack. Yeah, there's no room for the beers out there. We're all trying to hold babies and it's like, yeah, it was a, it was a shit show. But truly, from the second we got on every parent was like traumatized, like, my wife looked like she'd seen a ghost because the babies are just all one up in each other screaming. Yeah. Yeah. That's, I mean, okay, that's exactly what we were looking for. I wouldn't call it a luxury boat trip. I don't think I've ever been on like a, like a, like a, one of those like fancy, like a yacht or something. Sure. You guys ever been on a yacht? No. Who got it? I mean, did he used to fucking hang out all the time, I'm a, I mean, uh, I was so, do you royalty? I got a private. Yeah, I had a private baby bird rented one or something. Oh, God damn, that's funny. Drift Kings, an official partner of the NBA is now available in all 50 states of this great nation, baby. 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It's 40% off with the code garbage at GLD.com. After you purchase, they're going to ask you how you heard about them. Please support the boys and tell them we sent you at GLD.com to it. Oh, all right. Jesus Christ. That's great. Have you ever moved a mattress on top of your car? Yeah. Really? Yep. I've done it. Yeah. In Indiana where it's like, it was one of those where I was like a real short drive. But I never had, I've never had a truck, you know, and I never had the, I mean, I've seen people. It's also stuff shit in the trunk where you have to do the cables over it. You don't have it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, the whole way you're like, shit is going to fall out of here. I'm about to lose a dresser for sure. I'm about to lose a dresser. Some drawers are falling out at least. Let me ask you this. When you guys go out to a restaurant with a baby, okay. No wrong answer here. Okay. It's not true. It is. Just set up. Did you get the high chair for the baby? Excuse me. Do you have a high chair? High chair is big now. Put the baby in next to you. Yeah. Or yacht? Do you have a yacht parking at the shoneys? Baby eats. It's all over the floor. Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. What do you do? Well, I don't have a fucking broom on me. What am I supposed to do? What do you do? I try to, if it's a little shit that I can pick up, I will, but I mean, it's often quite a big mess. It's a tip extras, what I do. I really don't know what I don't know what to do. You know what I can't get on my damn knees. You say, "Hey, I'm sorry." Unless, you know, there's some LA places where it's like, they're charging you a fucking $12 for a tiny fruit cup. It's the only thing the baby can eat. And I'm just like, fuck you, man. I have something for little babies. - No, I agree. - And it's like on those ones, I'm just like, enjoy. (all laughing) You don't look, that's $8 for the fruit. - You're throwing it to your throw and she's on the ground. - Will you bring this stuff with you? Like will you bring some noodles for him? - Sometimes it depends on the place. Like if it feels like you could do that I will. And like we went to a taco place the other day, I was like he can't eat shit here. So we brought his stuff and they didn't seem to give a shit. - Yeah. - Okay. - But if it seems like a place. - It was out on the case of the year. - Yeah, but if they have stuff, I'll do it. If they have stuff for him to eat, we'll just get stuff there. But it's like, they know like that you're fucked. So they're like, oh, it's actually $8 for an avocado. With nothing else. It's just an avocado that we're spooning to the baby But it is it's funny you mentioned because we were just at a place where he fucking wrecked the floor I always try to make I make an effort I always do it I'll make an effort and a lot of times when they see they go won't get it or like some of them of it's like they are very They're you know and we got a cute baby I feel bad. We got a cute baby. So they're they're playing with him and they feel like they've built up a rapport. And he's personable, he gives him a big smile. - His eye contact shakes their hands. - He puts a car at the end of the day. - He does put his hand out, actually. It feels like he's saying putter there at the time. - You have a lovely establishment here, thank you. - Have you ever needed a new car? Are you used? - I was telling him we were on the, I was on the fucking subway with my wife and my son and the guy, you know, crazy guy came on asking for money. He's just avoiding eye contact. My son's like, "Hi, hi, hi, I'm like shut the fuck up. Baby, you can get through to the guy. Hey, you ever think this is it? Baby's on me to clean up my life. Have you thought about Jesus, man? You watchin' TV with the closed captions on. No. No, I, well, my wife will do it sometimes. I hate the captions. I find I end up reading the shit. And then we don't have the TV on around the baby. So it's like, I'm only doing it. Yeah. Every once in a while, it's tough with football, especially because on the west coast, football is on at like 4 p.m. Or the Sunday games at 10 a.m. Just kind of awesome. It's sick, except for with the baby, because I was watching the night game, like I could watch the night game out here fully because he goes to bed at 7. Now I only, I get to watch the second half of the night game and it sucks. Wait, why? Because if it's on with him in the room, he starts staring at it. You feel like you see them clicking. I just created a drone. Yeah, it's crazy. You can't put him in another room. I mean, I guess I gotta watch the Bengals game. You entertain yourself over there. You get your, you get your, your football time from your wife for now. Not really. I got, I finally, it's off sound. Is it, dude, especially when the baby going to the other brother, I'm going to take the living room really picture it. I'm on the road all weekend. I come home Sunday morning. I'm like, and guess what, honey? I got to watch the fucking Panthers play the way. I got a 19 game parlay girl in here that I got it. And I'm going to need about an hour to make my little fantasy line-ups. Yeah. Yeah, what I've been doing is I finally, I just broke down and bought the fucking NFL package. And so I have it on my phone and I'll be like, kind of holding on like, what's that over there? And I sneak a peek at a share and Roger. It's pretty good. The NFL package. It's worth it. It's, it's finally, they do the $25 a month thing. I don't want to like sell the NFL package, but I used to not get it because I would see that like $700 a year thing. And I was like, I can illegally stream these. I hit that out. No. They finally get me. That's it. Get the car. I have a computer that's just I it's I only watch illegal sports on the case. It gets fried. I got a burner. Yeah. Because I mean, it's fucks your computer. Computers all hot. Yeah. How does the website make my computer hot? There's got to be a scientist stolen stream right there. It was so good. I charge a good shit. Yeah. Mine too. You buy the one on Amazon or something. Yeah. What is it? It's called like you curb or some shit. I wonder if it's going to burn down my house. Yeah. I've got that too. I've got one in my in my jacket pocket that's like an off brand. My phone. This is trash. I think my phone doesn't charge with the cord anymore. I have to have something that like, it's got to be on a pad. That's the only way it'll charge. Okay. And I've just been riding that out. The ports fried. So you got to roll around with one of those pat like the leather pad or whatever. Yeah. Put it on. And it's I've been roll. It's been like six months now. I just need a new phone. But I'm just like. Yeah. If I can squeeze it out. They they do it for it. Costco. You're right. I'm an AT&T guy. I fucking ate it there. But I do it. But yeah. It's it gets so hot though. The off brand chargers. You really are like it burns you sometimes. I've crazy. I've had a run of losing. I've lost two or broke two phones and lost or misplaced. Like, I don't know, seven or eight chargers. Do we on the last two weekend? Every time we left the club or the venue, we go, anybody grabbed my charger and we're like, no, man. And my chargers. Anybody can see my charge. We've been to four different green rooms. He's left his pocket charger. Asking those, it was on Patreon, but you brought the subway thing about your your personal defense system. Oh, yeah. He's on my side for sure. Let's see. Let's hear it. Well, just I mean, I would like to, there we had there wasn't an encounter, but there was a crazy guy on the another crazy guy. And you just go like, it's just me and my wife. And I'm defenseless against a crazy man. So I was thinking about getting a knife. Okay. Yeah. And say to others all the time. Yes. I've been thinking about getting a gun. I thought you for sure had. I don't. I've never been a big gun guy, but something about, you know, living in LA, a lot of my friends have guns sneakily. And I was like, yeah, mine too. I just can't live out there. I just, I just know that I ended up fucking shooting myself somehow. I know it. You know, my poll in the trigger, but the gun of my man. My guy's goal membership provokes. So that was my, the people are divided of like, you should, you should and it makes more things more dangerous. And I'm going, I'm not like doing it to be, you know, this whole thing. This is the worst case scenario I'm living at the moment. It is true. Like it, because in New York, you are just among crazies. Like it's, it's true. You're just at risk. I think about that a lot. And I was like, I remember I was on the train. And there was just a guy with a nunchucks just slinging them around, like walking up and down the train. Yeah, get some nunchucks, walk up and down the train, roll them out. It's just freak people out. That's a good, that's a good defect. The power move. Yeah. The best defense to get off it. Yeah, but I just, same with the knife, I feel like I just end up sitting weird with my, like tight pants on it. It would just stab my leg. Who just sticks someone though? Cause that's, that's a closer person. Yeah, I don't know that I could, yeah, you know, I mean, you don't want to stick to it. It's more about the threat. Yeah, it's either I was thinking about it online here. Because I got, why? Because I got, guys, guys about that life. Lee and Shane Torres got, like, kind of not to act, but, uh, this crazy. You guys got to a fight. Yeah. It was good. Yeah. Shane came right at me. He's, I don't know what I'm going to cut you down. Um, we were a Shane Torres. Very, very good Shane Torres. I do Shane a lot. My house is pretty fun. I guess my stuff, just the interesting, and if you make fun of his act, sorry, I'm memorable and he's touching a wall that doesn't exist. So I love Shane. I don't know what that's for. But, uh, we were, we were walking on the street. I won't cut him if I have to, but I will cut him. I'll cut anybody. Um, you're looking at my wife. Weird. Um, he, um, we were walking on the street and bedstie and this woman, you know, that sometimes they'll be like weird construction shit in the walkway that guides you, like, yeah, I'm so fucking, that's a set up right there. Absolutely. And this, and the crazy, this crazy, they do, but it was like a tight little squeeze. And, uh, you know, Shane was like a little, uh, this lady got pissed at him for going through when she felt like he was her turn. And she was like, this big mother fucker going through and she was in her chair. And she got through just fine. Yeah, she got through just fucking fine. Maybe a scooter chair. It was like some like that. It was, I think it was a lighter chair. Yeah, it was electric. Yeah. It was, uh, the shit that, uh, what the fuck is the guy who went to Epstein Island? I can't think of his name. Tom Cruise. No, the guy in the wheelchair. Yeah, she was in a Stephen Hawking chair. Get the fuck out of him. But yeah, I don't care that you've been on count and she, she claims that we bumped into her, which is not true, but she's just crazy. And she's trying to start shit up. Then these teens come up and they're like older teens, but they're like, Hey, what the fuck did you do? These are my barely legal teams exactly type of teens. You got to see on a hot computer. A steam in a hot computer. But they accuse us of pushing her, their mom over in this wheelchair. And so they want to fight us and they follow us down the street for like two blocks. And I was like, I don't know what the fuck to do. Cause like, it's a bad look. If we start trying to fight these teams, how many teams? It was like four of them. It's a lot of teams. How do you think you guys would have done straight fight? They were, they were like skinny. So I was like, maybe, but they could have had anything on them too. You know, this is why the night, this is why I was thinking about the night. But I hadn't been walking down broken for a while. And I was in one of those narrow things. I was like, it's one of those like triggering. I also got just punched in the head walking down the street. You remember when they were doing the knockout game? Yeah. This kid tried to do it to me. I just caught him out of the corner of my eye and I ducked just in time. But this kid fully swung on me. And I was like, again, it's like, this was like probably a 14 year old. What do you do? Chase the guy? It like, it doesn't look good. Three blocks from now. You're just beating up a kid in front of a boat. Yeah. Yeah. That's a tough one. You're right. I'm reading it. I love that you're remembered. Can you, is that illegal? Well, I've been up 14 year old. No, but if a 14 year old punches you in the face, can you? I love these are the type of questions we ask about it. It's true. I'm curious. I don't. I don't have self defense. Yeah. But then if you're chasing them, then that's not self. It's no longer an eminence threat. I would have to. I would assume any any good attorney worth their weight would go like, you didn't need to chase them. Yeah. Like you're no longer. I think if he was attacking, I gotta rough to protect your honor. And you defuse the sitch. Yeah. Sure. I'm also like, I'm not a fighter. I want to keep it moving. It's more just like if you're putting that spot, what do you, like? What do you do? Yeah, um, you get stabby. We're selling not. Yeah. God to me into cars. We're going to be at like the gun shows and stuff with those tables, cases selling knives. All right. I mean, I got I got one more. I just want to get your take on. And then, you know, we stayed, we're on the road last weekend. We stayed it. We're typically, you know, the lower and the middle of the road hotel guys. We like a court court yard by Marriott. You can't go wrong with it. Love a hampton in a hampton in a hampton in all those kind of Western. No, not a best. Not a best. No, you guys can't be seen. Best Western. Best Western is a motel. Not that long ago. You don't want to say to motel. I believe in Boston. Best Western. No, it was not a best Western. I've stayed in a best western that had like road it was a specific because and it was a nice it was a high ride That was a high I just stayed in the best western and fucking sucks. Okay, if we stayed in the best western It was a very nice best for best westerns nice. Okay You stab me now This is this is the problem. You get that knife. You're like any slip up. No, of course any slip up. I can't wait to stab At least we like those kind of you know, they got first of all they usually have the pool the indoor pool They'll have like the the little snack section But then we recently at the same trip for some reason we stayed at a nice hotel that was cheap like a signia by Hilton or something Very nice crazy where we were like this is What how do you operate in a hotel? What kind of hotels do you like do you like using the do you go to those snacks? We make something in the room or you make something down there do you swim in the pool? I don't swim in the pool almost ever Just because I'm not a big pool guy, and it's almost always crowded sure with it's like a bunch of families and shit I don't know it wherever I get the weekend. Yeah Yeah, there's always like there's always like a soccer team in there very good It that's exactly the shit that I run into is like a little baseball team or You can then they're fucking all in the elevators and running up and down the hall Keeping me up keeping me up and new and exactly Uh, put it a pool. There's a god little league baseball. Yeah No, no, no, no, no, it's my phone. Yeah, badly. Yeah, that's where you and I deserve it Yeah, I just also like it's such a fucking to do. I like to I'll use the gym usually in some capacity maybe just to get water It's they got the chilled water in there. You refill the hotel room bottle that they give you very smart Little bit of lime or some of their lemons in there. Do the ones that piss me off or where they have the hotel They have the bottles of water in the hotel and then it'll be like seven dollars on the side And you're like you just give me the goddamn water. Yeah, but uh, I like uh What's the one that I used to work in a hotel that was awful trying to remember the name of it now It's one of the really shitty ones and it was sick because I would work the front of Baymont and in tweets It's like lower mid. It's like it's not a motel. It's it's fine There's a bullman or Baymont Baymont do you still work there? Yeah, I used to work the front desk It was one of my favorite jobs because you could This one is a college town is at the Ohio and you could They would let me set the rates if I wanted to it's like at the end of the night when they head rooms left They'd be like tell people whatever the fuck you want. So if somebody was an asshole. I was like, ah, sorry, buddy It's 250 bucks tonight. Would you get it? It was like no, I just did it to be an asshole because people would come in really rude I mean if they gave me cash, I could keep it, but I never did But the but then I would I would mostly do it the other way where it'd be like some kid coming in like just looking for a spot I'm like it's 20 bucks They would tell me not to go under like 20 bucks And so I would feel like and I got in trouble with it one time because this this kid came in and wanted a room I could tell he was broke and there was a line of people behind him who had paid full price And so I had to write down on a piece of paper. I was like don't read this out loud. Can you do 35 bucks? And he goes don't read this out loud. Can you do 35 and I was like So you need to be fired. I'm not going to make six dollars an hour. He got stabbed Yeah, I like I like mid-level, but if I can find a myriad or a hilton I found cheap hilton's every once in a while on the road and it's like I like when they have a really nice jam That's my favorite thing. I like when they have a bar. That's my favorite They got a nice bar though. Tell I'm hanging close a little too early sometime If you don't want to two shows to let you come back. It's so true. You don't get home till midnight and like oh, we close at 10 I know stay open. Stay open be the but every once time I was in With an arbor and for whatever reason one of the my hotel bar was open to like two in the morning Can't tell me shit right. Yeah, yeah, you're like that. Don't let shows you're like oh, I can get one to take to the room if I wanted to Sure casco around here One of my favorite things about a kind of shitty your hotel is Certain states depending on where you're at will sell beers at the little market. I love that and it's like Oh, yeah, they're like four-bought or whatever. They're like affordable They'll be up charge a little bit. That's a little bit, but you sit there. You go. Oh, there's I get them on my own I don't have to wait and then you just sit it like, you know We'll do it. We'll sit at the the couch or the lounges or whatever or like the breakfast tables. I've done that I've done that some of my favorite nights. They're just sitting out if you're waiting for food to come or something Utilizing those spaces. Some of you people don't I know you know I do feel sometimes like I'm annoying the guy at the front desk I didn't give a shit if you know it is the only place I ever shoplift is the market really yeah because if there's nobody at the front desk I want a beer. I'm like oh Yeah, listen you can steal beers. I'm okay with stealing beers Maybe I think you're fine It's a primie I stole a couple high ones and we fear Yeah, we got to wrap it up though. Okay. Most of the top to cars got a brand new podcast. You hurt my feelings Yeah, I'm out out out as of now you can find it on YouTube. It's on my YouTube channel I post clips on them for my Instagram right now and then it's on Everywhere you get podcasts you heard my feelings check it out. I have some great guests First episodes out now. I've Kyle Gordon who's very fucking funny Hey, they're mr. Jambu Yeah, she's Emily Emily Wilson also fucking hilarious. It's a great app and they tell you know stories of times like People heard their films on the internet or bad reviews stuff like that. It's funny. It's comedy show If you like this show, I think you love it and uh, and then yeah, I'm on the road to December third I will be Zane's Rosemond Rosemond love to get some people there. I used to work the door there. So it'd be nice to see some people Tom has some of my favorite bits hey, thanks hands-down ever Go check him out. He's a fucking killer stand-up. He's the best. Yeah, man Tom to car for road dates. I've got Milwaukee, New Orleans some fun stuff coming up Dr. Grins and Michigan. So get out there. Yeah, go to one of our And it's that Tom to car. Sorry. Yeah, social. What are you one of our favorites? We love you I love you boys. It's great to see you about it. Kibi. What do you got for? Guys all of our tour dates are at areyougarbage.com New York City uh, part of that we just announced part of the comedy fest when we're doing a couple shows at Gotham get those tickets because they will sell out Keep watching American garbage are special on YouTube. We love you. We'll see you next week. Bye