The Civil War: Can We Say "It" Now?

[MUSIC] >> All right, so key players, Battle of Binassus. We've got General Irvin McDowell, we talked about him. That's the guy that Lincoln sends down from the union. You've got General PGT Bo Regal, he's a Creole from the South. And he don't come up to add or protect the boys up there in the North. Then you've got General Thomas Stonewall Jackson. And he's going to be a whole guy that we're going to get into. Deeply religious and very eccentric. We'll get into some of his eccentricities because he's a crucial part of the battle. He wins the battle, wins the day. Spoiler alert, spoiler alert, wins the battle for the South. Maybe I should cut to, I don't know if we should have a spoiler alert. Does everybody know what happened at the Battle of Binassus? You're right, the Thai audience has no idea what's happening. So they're so excited. They don't want to know who won yet. >> [LAUGH] >> I've won the Civil War. >> And you've got General Joseph E. Johnston, who deferred credit to Bo Regard during the post-battle fame grab. Okay, so he actually was the ranking commander. Bo Regard was very stylish and dramatic and had a flair for symbolic movements. And he also designed his own uniform. So it's a gay guy. They had a gay guy from Louisiana, it's in charge of the Confederate Army. It's literally Senator Lindsey Graham is in charge. He's just like, I just feel like we could take these boys out if we just turn them and run them and if we do it in a cute style, it's uniform and everybody's going to love us. >> You boys are so hard today. >> I just give each one of you a kiss on your fucking lips. I mean, my God, I think we've pretty much covered Bo Regard. He would design his own uniforms and his own battle flags, which became very confusing because nobody in the war, including the union at this time, had a standardized uniform or standardized battle flags. So there were his entire episodes during the Battle of Manassas where people would just be like walking next to each other and somebody would start talking, this is true. Someone would start talking in an Irish accent and the Confederates would realize that they were Irish immigrants, that they were the union while they're walking next to each other. And they'd be like, what the fuck did you just say to me and they were like, I was just wondering how long we'd be walking up this hill. I mean, my God, where is the enemy? And they would just turn and start shooting each other. It happened like five times in the battle. It's just no one knew who anybody was and so they would only be able to do it based off of your accent. So you'd have a bunch of boys talking like this and then as soon as they talk, they'd be like, oh my God. And then you'd be an Irish guy being like, oh my Jolly, I think it's like I'm not an Army. And they'd start fucking shooting each other like right there. I mean, it's just how many people were in this all fucking 70,000 people walk into the same spot. 70,000 people. And not only do you have 70,000 troops, you also, this is why this battle is such a turning point in the American Civil War. It's why it's so important and why the American Civil War is also so important. Like we said, technology wise, first time you got railways, first time you got telegrams, first time you have machine guns, first entry of ironclad battleships. But more than that, it's the first time America's had a full scale war like this, where it's like a genuine ground invasion because like the Mexican war, Mexican American war was kind of small. But this is like your battling, the you're fighting like the way that like the French have been fighting for years. Like this is like a Napoleon style, European style land conflict that we just had not been a part of yet. And so nobody really knew what the tactics were. Nobody really knew what it was going to be like. Maybe from Washington, DC thought this was going to be a quick and easy battle. So people from DC came down to picnic the battle. So on the sides of the hills, when the war and the shootings first starts, you have a bunch of people who think that they're going to see like a glorious cavalry charge. Like the charge of the light brigade, like it's the famous poem where you ever heard that like mine's not to mine's not to think or mine's not to wonder why mine is but to do or die. You ever heard that poem? It's a Crimean war, Crimean war between the Russians and the British. And there's a great poem about it. I think it's by G.K. Chesterton, but he has this great line where he's like mine's not to wonder why mine's but to do or die. And the whole poem is set to the Iambic potemeter of horsebeats because it's a cavalry charge. And so during that war, the reason that there's a poem about it is because there's a bunch of people during the Crimean war, there's a bunch of people watching it from the sidelines. It's like watching this charge of cavalry, of British cavalry into like the mouth of the Russian defense. They're all going to die. And so they start like writing down what's going to happen. So the American Civil War, they think it's going to be something similar. So they bring like a picnic, they think it's going to be a route. People are bringing carriages down. They're literally tailgating the first battle of the Civil War. They brought their kids. They're drinking beers, they're doing picnics. You might see a big crash. But wasn't it like South, like I mean, these people, the South also thought they were going to wreck shit. I believe the South thoughts they were going to do in picnics. I mean, it was in Virginia. Are these Southern people or Northern people from Washington DC, the Gaul, because one of the big problems with the war when it breaks out, one of the big things that mucks up, not the war of the battle, that one of the big things that mucks up the Union retreat is that all of the roads are clogged with these people who are tailgating. So they're trying to get out of there. And when the panic sets in, these are not soldiers. These are just people, these are Trader Joe's people who came down to get drunk a little bit and drink wine and watch from the hill. And all of a sudden, they realize that they are insufficiently armed. All they have is like rock hard alvacados and tote bags, they don't know what to do. They're getting nervous. So they start to panic and they start to run because the cannons start going off. And nobody's seen cannons used like this before. They're using Napoleon's tactics like that they've been studying at West Point. So no one's really gotten to use it yet. And all of a sudden, you just from like all of the hills, like you're out of nowhere, just imagine. You went there to see NASCAR, but the NASCAR event turned into Fallujah. Yeah, it's like it turns into Mario Kart, another shell's flying, the walls breaks and now the shells are going in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No caution flags. Yeah, absolutely. It's like the NASCAR's were like those James Bond cars with like machine guns attached to them and they just start driving into the stands and taking people out. Friendly fire. So then, okay, so then we'll talk about Irwin McDonnell. He is, McDowell, he is often known as the Fall Guy. He was also West Point educated. He had fought with Robert Lee and General Grant in the Mexican-American War as well as Stonewall. He told Lincoln he was like, these guys are all from Ireland, none of these troops are ready. Like we've been training for 90 days, none of this is going to work. So he tried to come up with this complex battle plan and the Roll Recruits had no idea how to fucking handle that. So, loses control of troop movement almost immediately because like we said, they had all designed to their own flags. So they all have like flags that don't match each other's flags and within like five minutes of the battle, everyone's running for cover. There's like a full blown just dissolution of the Union Army and the South is just fucking running at people. Which is known as, so the retreat begins pretty early on, mass panic. We kind of talked about that, but there was, oh, here's a, here's a fun quote. The Stampede became general. The Army was routed, a regiment of regulars and a battery of artillery remained to cover the fight. So as people are fucking running away towards them, these people are like watching them and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? And one of the moments is that the Union officers running towards them and he goes, move out of the way, I'm the rear guard. And they realize that there's nobody, all of these fucking the Trader Joe tailgators realize that there's nobody between them and the Confederate Army and the Confederate Army is shelling them because they don't know the difference between anybody because no one's wearing uniforms. They start shelling the people who were fucking tailgating and panic, dude. So that 30 mile road from DC to up to Down the Manassas, it's completely blocked. >> Amen. Not much has changed dog traffic, right? >> Yeah. >> They're on Route 66. >> Yeah. >> Literally it's a bumper to bumper traffic on Route 66. >> Taking 66 to DC and rush hour, 70,000 people retreating from the, my asses. >> Yeah. >> This is a fun name that they came for, it called it a mob scene. And they called it the great Skidaddle, that's what the, that's what the Confederate newspapers called it. The great Skidaddle, which is such a funny way to describe civilians taking fucking artillery fire. >> Great Skidaddle. >> It's just a great way to describe a war crime. It's just the great Skidaddle and a bunch of poop and they're, yeah, and they're britches. Here's a fun one. Congress Alfred Ellie of New York was actually captured by Confederate cavalry while trying to flee. And he would be later held in Libby prison in Richmond and became something of a war celebrity according to Chatchee PT. One thing to know about these Confederate prisons and also the Union prisons, very early on they run out of food and so they stop sending food to these places. Because they have to prioritize getting food to the troops, the war prisons during this time. You see pictures of people who survive the war prisons because they're in there, a lot of troops are getting taken in like 1860. So they're going to sit throughout the entire war from like 1861 to 1864 in a prison in like with no food, they're in work labor camps. It's fucking brutal. And what's ends up happening is a lot of them, like it becomes a full blown holocaust. Like the people become so skinny, like it's a fucking disaster. >> Yeah, imagine getting God in the first fucking battle dude, that's a tough pill to swallow. Do you even tell people you were in the civil wars that point? >> I mean, you probably try to keep that secret. >> First battle, you're in the one that we lost and you got captured immediately. >> Immediately. >> You're just shielding the South from? >> You're not really a war hero, you're just eating fried chicken every day. And then suddenly the food runs out and you get no food for like, I mean, is it that much worse eating Northern food versus like just having a few good Southern meals once in a while? You know what I mean? Eating mostly like cornmeal and bullshit in the South are like, cooking up raccoon tail and you're just fucking, you're having the best time, you're like, how the fuck did you fry raccoon tail? And they're like, it's the whole family recipe, we just put it together. >> I'm staying, dude. >> Yeah. >> Civilians are trampled, uniform confusion, I think I fucking kind of explained that. Here's a fun moment during that friendly fire. One of the most famous incidents is Union Captain Charles Griffin sees a bunch of troops advancing on his position and he tells command, he's like, hey, I think someone's coming up like our flank and he gets command, he goes, no, no, no, that's Union troops and he keeps going, no, I think it's not Union troops. >> Sure. >> Let me send a message down to the fucking guy who's like a mile down the road. You can reinforcements on these guys who are coming right now. >> Yeah, that's the thing is when you think about this shit and we talk about all they're so disorganizing, he's fucking idiot, he's more prepared. >> No walkie talkies. >> No walkie talkies, what do you do, send a telegram? >> Yeah, first of all, just try using a walkie talkie when somebody's sending artillery fire at you. Think about how much you would panic if there was just like a helicopter dropping rockets, just firing those at your position and you're in the rubble of a house trying to like fucking relay information with a walkie talkie. But now imagine instead of a walkie talkie, you have to use a flag. >> Yeah, a flag or send some fucking like 17-year-old or I could tell him, it's been 10 minutes or he's probably dead. >> He's probably dead. >> Fucking guy. >> Yeah, and you just keep sending guys hoping something happens. You're waving a flag. You have to assume that somebody's looking at you with binoculars. Because if they're not looking at you with binoculars, they can't see your flag. Like that flag could be like, no, it's cool, or that flag could be like holy shit, dude. Shit's going down over there. >> Or they would sing like fucking songs with drums. They would use drums. >> Yankee Doodle? >> Yeah. >> Do the jars though. Was that Yankee Doodle? >> Yankee Doodle, dude. >> Was that Yankee Doodle? Or was that welcome to the jungle by Guns and Roses? I can't tell. Welcome to the jungle is their pump up song. Yankee Doodle means that a retreat's coming. >> That was your job, bro. That was their hype music. That's how you would get excited to go into battle. You had to listen to that bullshit. >> Some of that should onto this day. >> Yeah. >> Some of those things. You ever hear those remixes? >> Uh-huh. >> No. >> No, I haven't heard it. >> I get like a Civil War fucking song, and then put some fucking EDM, fucking beat on it, and it's just like, pumped bomb on Yankee Doodle, dude. >> Yeah. >> Is that Daddy Yankee? >> Daddy Yankee, baby. That's where he got the name. First battle, Manassas. >> Yeah. >> He was actually his ancestor. Great, great grandfather was a drummer boy for the 16th New Jersey, but. >> So he wasn't in the first battle. >> The reason that they came up on them is Jackson had changed all of his men's coats to the Virginians were wearing blue coats. So they thought that they were union troops, and Jackson came up the hill and took the main artillery like barrage, the battery. That's what they call it. He took the main artillery battery of who was the guy that I said. He was, it was the 69th New York brigade, and he comes up and they take the Charles Griffin, they take his troops. He goes, I heard the crackle of musketry behind us and saw blue jackets failing, falling. I thought the rebels were upon us. It was our own boys. So they had already had a friendly fire incident. So they were a little bit worried about it, and then Jackson had changed all of his troops' coats to be blue and showed up. And they didn't know that they were fucking Confederate troops until they're like, all right, now go ahead, put them guns down. And they were like, oh son of a bitch. Genius, put on blue, that could backfire though. It does end up backfiring later. Spoiler alert about Jackson. That ends up becoming a huge problem for General Stonewall Jackson. So General Stonewall Jackson takes that hill, and before that he's just General Jackson. When he takes that hill and holds it, turns the guns because the troops finally realized the reinforcement troops finally realized that it was Confederate troops wearing blue jackets. They send the reinforcement troops. Stonewall Jackson holds them at that hill, gets all of the cannons turned around and starts firing on those union troops and basically cuts the union army in half. And that's why they say they call them a stone wall because his men looked up and Jackson is on a horse holding one of his arms up. If you can't see what I'm doing and go to the YouTube channel, but General Jackson is holding one of his arms up because he thinks he gets better circulation to his brain. If he keeps one of his arms above his head, so he's trying to get more blood flow to his brain so he can operate. And so he gets the nickname Stonewall from that, which is just genuinely the most autistic way to get a fucking. That's just science man. Raise that arm up. This is a good time to get into Stonewall Jackson because he is the weirdest guy on the fucking planet. This is not from any of the research I've done. This is from a book that I read one time about Stonewall Jackson. A lot of his students, I believe he was teacher at VMI for Virginia Military Institute, not at what's it called at West Point. I believe he was at VMI and he would be giving instruction and what the classes liked to do was they would ask him a question or interrupt him in some way and he would just stop talking. He would shut down and he would turn and stare at the chalkboard because he was trying to figure out the problem and all of the people who were in his class would just leave. And so then like 20 minutes later he'd turn around and be like, okay I got the answer and everyone was gone. So this is the Confederate hero. He's a complete fucking weirdo. The religious zeal, he's obsessed with the idea of divine providence, classic Protestant fucking idiot and he is completely believes that God has determined that he will not die in battle. So it becomes completely fearless because he's like unless God commands it, I can't die in battle. He thought one of his arms was longer than the other so that's why he was raising that arm over his head is because he's trying to increase the balance the blood flow. He also was famous for sucking on lemons. He would just genuinely just be sucking on lemons all the time so Confederate soldiers also started sucking on lemons because they were like man this shit really works. Also sleepwalk is said that he would walk miles in his sleep and even issue orders in his dreams so all of a sudden he'd pop up in the middle of the night. The general of your army right he's leading like 10,000 men he just fucking right out of bed start walking around giving commands to the troops who would then start fucking filing it out walk around like miles. Come back to his tent go to sleep wake up all of the troops have like woken up they're doing all the shit that he told him to do he wakes up he's like what are you guys doing and they're like we're doing what he told us to take all of the guns and see if we could whittle them into wooden dildos to stick up our ass and he's like oh no I said that while I was sleeping I didn't want us to do that. Oh brother that was God's command that's a guy just loves to lead man he can't help himself. Yeah he's a leader he's a he's an odd man he's a war man. Yeah I don't really fearless that's pretty much it about him. Pretty fucking interesting guy I don't really have anything else to say about. They got a statue there. That's the man that's the man that's the battle feel big statue him on big horse and they'll never take that one down. So then the great Skidattle happens PGT Beauregard captures a bunch of union troops are in this battle. They put them all in these like horrific prison camps basically like the fucking Holocaust. The cool things you can do at Manassas battlefield one of them is their Henry with your boys. If you're from Thailand it is legal in Virginia now you can smoke weed and walk around the battlefield and literally pretend like you're in the Civil War. That's one of the coolest things you can do is just be like oh shit dude I'm getting shot at you know while you're high. Go look at the fences I like that about all the Civil War defenses. They got the fences up still. The way they do the fences back then it's a nice touch. They look sick dude and you imagine like that was their version of Bob barbed wire. You'd be running and you get to that wooden fence you're like how the fuck am I going to get over that? You got to have black people in it. Exactly. They're not jumping over. They couldn't jump over them and they were short as fuck. I have a type of a Confederate soldier at the time is like five foot five. And these guys are on horse. Little guys dude they're not getting their mound nourished right. And that's the thing about the Confederate troops is the argument that they make is that the slaves are oftentimes way better fed than the Confederate troops. And so the Confederate troops because the rich people are not fighting in the war right because they're paying for people to take over the volunteer force. So all of the people who are fighting to keep slavery only less than 2% of them own slaves. So somewhere between 98 and 99% of the Confederate troops are poor farm boys who are being fed so little that they're five-five. The average height of the slaves are like six feet tall because if you don't eat food you don't get tall. So you've got like the slaves who are obviously having a bad time. Once again Thailand we're not saying they weren't having a bad time. It's not sick although I don't know the slavery culture in Thailand so maybe they're fine with it. But those southern guys are fucking pissed because they're like what the fuck am I fighting this war? And they have to keep doing this propaganda like don't forget they fucking invaded us. You boys go up there and die good for them so I can keep on picking cotton here in South Carolina and growing tobacco down here in fucking North Carolina. It's like why the fuck are we in Pennsylvania? Why am I here? And you had to walk there. You didn't even have a horse at the time. Five years. Five years just walking back and forth between Manassas and Northern Pennsylvania. It's a far walk. Okay interesting things. You have the Henry House. That's Judith Henry's house. She's an 85 year old widow. This is some shit they made up dude. What? This whole story about this house or the people in this house. You think so? It just seems too good to be true to me. What do you know about it? The fact that this person owns a house in Manassas. It just happens to be like in the middle of the fucking battle. Yes. Like the point where they get a can of ball through the fucking house. 85 year old woman wakes up. Cannonball shoots their fucking house. But didn't she never leave or something? Didn't leave. She was like what in the hell is that? And just cannonball start ripping through her house. But maybe I'm conflicting with another guy. But some guy, maybe he was the guy who owned it and her son or something who owned his house. There's two houses. So the guy's house, he owns the house of Manassas. Yeah. War and Manassas. Let me know. Fucking live in Manassas right now. This is like the hottest part of the war. Yeah. Just a rich man. Appomattox courthouse. Yeah. So the war starts at his house. Yeah. He has to leave and there's a cannonball through it. And then they sign the treaty to end the war at his other house. No shit. Are you fucking for real? Yeah. Okay. So that must be the Matthews house. So you got the Matthews house on Matthews Hill. And then you got the Henry house on Henry Hill. Because this is the Piedmont, which is the foot hills of the Verapolation Mountains. That's where the Appalachians Mountains start is in Manassas. And you got the right on the other side. You've got the Bull Run Mountains. And then on the other side of that, you've got the Rolling Piedmont up until you get to the Appalachian Hills. So this is like very hilly ground, hilly territory. So you're walking up a lot of hills if you're going to Manassas battlefields this day. Yeah. If you're high, it does suck. But she gets a cannonball right through her fucking house. They shell her house, ends up killing her. And then you see, so that's the first she's known as the first civilian casualty of the Civil War. Union cannonball hits her to South reinforces the house. I think what ends up happening is the Union takes the house. They're hit out in the house, shooting out from the house. And the South then comes in and starts just fucking shell in that house. Holds him down, gets him out of there using civilians. Helms as cover. That really is Afghanistan at that point. Well, there was a point where Virginia was actually Afghanistan. All right. Canons on the battlefield. Are they original? Yes. There's a lot of original canons that are still on the on the battlefield. So they just never moved them. Canons? Yeah. They just left those. Yeah. I like that too. They leave the canons out there. And I'm always looking at these. How do these things don't work? Yeah. Like, where do you put anything in? Yeah. You got to unscrew this thing and put a big stick in it. It's literally trying to like load. I mean, you're just an Italian guy from New York. And you're just like, what am I going to fucking do? I got to fucking load the fucking cannon. I got to give it the boom, boom, boom, the five booms. That's actually where those fucking TikTok families, the boom, boom, family, the Costco boys. Yeah. That's where they, it was actually the Costco boys slogan of boom, boom, boom, boom. Five big booms. That's actually the battle cry of the 69th New York regimen. Yes. And they were and he was part of the artillery. Yeah. Which fucking sick to be the 69th? 69th. 69th. Yeah. You think like even back then they kind of laughed about it. I don't know if they got that high. You don't think they had invented 69 yet? Like 69. They definitely invented 69 by that. I don't know if they had a name or they probably had a different name. They probably had a sicker name. The beast with two backs. The beast. Yeah. They're just fucking up using downies. Yeah. Of these downies. 69. At that point in history, probably the most disgusting thing you could do. Yeah. Especially during the Civil War. But if you're Italian, you're going to fucking do it. You're right. Because even now Italian women don't smell that much different than they did in the 1800s. And you know those union boys were little. Yeah. A little like, they kind of like the fumes. Yeah. They kind of like the smell. They kind of like looking up guys. Yeah. That's what I think. So you think they were, when they were 69 and it wasn't a woman, they were 69. I mean, in the heat of battle. Heat of battle. This might be my last battle. I got to suck one more dude off. I haven't talked to my, I'm writing letters to my wife. I barely even know how to write. Yeah. That might be confirmed. And if you did know how to write back then, you were kind of gay. Like if you wrote in that flowery language, like cursive just looks gay. Like as a hand for him. And if you write it like, "My dearest Judas," like that's somebody who doth protest to my wife. I know. I love, I love it. They think that the people have this idea, like civil war letters are so eloquent. Yeah. Like 90% of those aren't even fucking English. You wouldn't be able to put it together with this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And like, please make sure you put a peach in the peach candle. Yeah. Like, he's like just writing his cousin who he's saying is hot. He's trying to marry his cousin. Yeah. Yeah. I've read shit like that before. He's spitting rizz at his cousin. I remember reading like civil war letters from a specific regiment. Uh-huh. I guess it was Mississippi. No, it was Virginia. It was a Virginia regiment. I think it was because like someone of my ancestry.com was in it. Yeah. So I was like, look at it. And they have these like, "History of historical sketches about it." Yeah. And you can read them online. And they'll just have letters from people in it. Yeah. And this guy was writing his cousin. Like, it was a, not a back and forth. You only got his end of it. Yeah. But he was like trying to marry his cousin throughout the war. The suite of Roma of your Rose Bush is what keeps me going during these trying times. You have the finest dress I'd ever seen. I would pay anything. If you would just fucking Charlotte County. Bend your knees over the top of my chest and pop out a dirt snake. The size and trail length of Robert Lee Highway. I would be most obliged. Yeah. Oh, it was literally gibberish. The guy was just in a lot of right there. And then she just looked cool. But then she ended up getting married to him. Oh, to some guy. He's like, "I got word of your wedding." He was a gentleman about it. Pretty bombed out. No, he was a gentleman about it. But he was hitting on his cousin because of pretty fucking art of the letters. Yeah. Pist that she took a husband. Just like, I mean, why would you go on and marry? And especially to find out that it was shady dog Crow Dad McCoy. And my bestest friend since the grade of first. You married one of the Duke brothers. Yeah. Godly mother probably rolling in a grave. Mother probably rolling in a grave. Clutching that up Pearl's daddy barried her in. Here I was, thinking that we would unite all great housing families and make sure that our last names remained pure. Whatever I've been doing all this fight before, if I can't even fuck my cousin back. I can't even fuck my cousin, dude. You get home. That is one of the sad parts about the Civil War is that the Confederates do. Afterwards there's a lot of shame about being a part of the Confederacy. And maybe as there should be. But they do not. Nobody likes a loser. There's a famous story I forget who it is. I think I read this from fuck. Who did I get this from? There's a, I think it might have been Harry Truman. I think it's Harry Truman. He comes home who's from Missouri, but that's that's kind of like a little bit. That's the South back then because Missouri and Kansas fought against each other. That's where like that's the dividing line of slavery. So Missouri is a big slave state at the time. But I believe it's Harry Truman or one of the presidents comes home and he's all excited because he's in his like dapper Air Force uniform. This is right before World War II. And so he's all like pumped up. He's like, oh, I'm going to like look so good. Maybe it's World War II, I'm pretty sure it's World War II. And he comes home in his little uniform in the Air Force uniforms blue. And he goes to see his grandmother in the blue uniform and she just goes, well, by God, I guess I can good and die now. Now that my only grandson is wearing a union colors. So like, there's hatred that goes from the South all the way up to World War II. Yeah, I mean, that's less than 100 years. Yeah, it's 80 years. That's like one generation. You're still alive from the Civil War. Yep. So you're great grandmother. Back then it's probably your great grandmother. But like your great grandmother would see you and you're fucking, you know, Yankee Doodle dandies, like wearing your blue uniform. After you joined the military and be pissed. And you want to throw up. You want to throw up. You're like, you're supposed to wear a fucking gray. You can't wear blue. I mean, it's honestly insane to think that how many people from the South like that fought in like World War I. Yeah. Like not that many years later. No. It's 50 years later. You knew there's a war. I'm not a bitch. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna fucking go. That's what it comes down to. I'm not gonna make it. It's like, I'm not a bitch. I'm not gonna not fight in the war. I got a fight in the fucking war. I don't think all these guys are really bad. Set on like. Having slaves. I'm sure they weren't pro slaves though. But they were pro slavery. But not pro slaves. They were more pro pro getting pussy and knew if they didn't join the regs, they weren't gonna get nothing from the cousin. Imagine being the one cousin who stayed home. That happens a ton in World War I. I don't know about World War II, but in World War I they have like this famous, it's a little bit more of a British thing. But what they would go around is in World War I, if you stayed home and didn't join the war effort, because like at that point, I think it's something like 40% of British men, not a fighting age men, like 40% of British men joined World War I. So women, if you stayed home and you were like somewhat of age, like you could somehow make it, they would go around and they'd put a white lily in your shirt jacket, right? Because you're thinking like, oh, I'm the only man left in town. I'm gonna get a lot of pussy. And so the women would go around and they would give you a white lily. And that meant like, oh, you're gay, you didn't fucking go to war. And so then everybody would die for no reason at all. Yeah, everybody would know like you're gay. You didn't go fight the Germans and die for no reason. So, you know, at the end of the day, is it women that cause wars? Kind of feels like it. This sure don't help. All right. I think that's pretty much everything from the battle. So let's do, this will be the last part. This will be like the aftermath. Should we talk about Jackson's death in this one, or should we wait for the Battle of Chance orville? We can probably do an entire episode just about Jackson. Whatever you want. What's at in just Jackson's death? So there is a myth in the civil, in the south and in the civil wars, especially. There's a myth that Jackson was shot while he was sleepwalking. So at the Battle of Chance orville, Stonewall Jackson is like the eccentric genius. As weird as he is, he's the entire engine of the Confederate army. - He won Minasis. - He won Minasis. - He won Minasis. - It's a PGT Bow regard very shortly after the Battle of Minasis loses all favor, because at the Battle of Shiloh, he traps General Grant, who is making his first appearance in the war, he traps General Grant in a Thornbush, and so General Grant's men are stuck in this thicket of trees, and PGT Bow regards surrounds it in the middle of the night, and instead of going in there and fucking rooting them out, he writes a letter to the Confederate commander and says, "Today, I have won a great victory. Tomorrow, I shall secure it," and he's going to go in there and capture Grant, and in the middle of the night, Grant sneaks out with a bunch of other people, and they get out of there, and that is like the big fucking failure of PGT Bow regard, and he loses like, nobody respects him after that. He was originally the hero of the South. He does Fort Sumter, he does Battle of Minasis, they're like, "Man, this guy's sick," and so now, after the Battle of Shiloh, which is literally three weeks later, so imagine being famous for literally three weeks, three weeks later, he completely fucks it, and then everybody starts switching over and being like, "You know who's actually sick?" General Stonewall Jackson. Stonewall Jackson becomes like the eponymous genius of Stonewall. Everyone's fucking like, "This guy's the coolest guy ever." After a battle in Chancellorsville, which is where my Hunting Club is, and I did watch a guy in my Hunting Club, and it was my first day there, they were driving dogs, so the dogs were chasing the deer, but on the other side of that, you need men pushing the dogs, and it's in a big thicket, just like General Grant was stuck in. So the woods are thick, in fucking Virginia, in Tennessee, in the South. So you got these big thick woods, and so you're pushing the dogs to get them to go through the thickets, so that they'll chase after the deer, because the dogs don't really want to, and then once they see the deer, they get all excited, and so once they chase the deer towards you, you start shooting at them, and I just hear on the walkie talkies, fucking friendly fire, like, "Oh my God, stop shooting, oh my God, stop shooting." And what it happened is one of the brothers with buckshots, so it only travels like a hundred yards, but the time it gets to you is probably not that bad, had fucking shot his brother, and his brother fucking hits the ground, is like, "Duck does bullets flying over his head, dude, he fucking pulls up his shirt, he's just tattered with fucking buckshot, like these giant weelts on that broke." Yeah, he got Stonewall, in this thicket of trees, so that's probably why BGG, Beauregard didn't want to go in there, and it's because it's pretty easy to friendly fire each other, and also you'd get fucked up if you were trying to chase somebody out of a thicket, so it's not like, somebody was standing in like a national forest, you know, where you can kind of like look down and see him, it's like, this is like thick scrub bush trees and shit, and so that that is where PGT Beauregard loses all favor. Chancellorsville, Stonewall, does something sick, I forget what he does, oh he does the boldest flanking maneuver in military history, smashing the Union flank under General O.O. Howard. We'll do that when we actually talk about the battle of Chancellorsville, but that's what he does, and then that night he's walking around the woods, dense narrow woods, he's walking around looking for like different people, trying to see if they're gonna get attacked at night, whether or not he's just like kind of planning out the battle, but he's so weird. They ran a fucking mission at night. Yeah, and he's running back afterwards, he's running back afterwards, and he does this habit of like mumbling to himself while he's walking, so somebody thinks it's just like a lost Union soldier, and he keeps like calling out to him, and nobody fucking nobody does anything, and so then they're just like fuck it, so they shoot him, and it hits his left arm and his right hand, because he's walking to the woods like this, so fucking, he's walking in that Z formation, fucking clips his arm blows his fucking arm off, and like we said, there's no real doctors, right, it's just a guy who literally just fingered his own asshole, just digging in this fucking bullet hole, it gets infected, ends up killing him. Yeah, dude, that is a tough way to go down, man, that's a tough way, and they won the battle right, they won it, they won the battle, but they lost Stonewall brother, they sent him to the fucking hospital, that's fucking Stonewall, imagine being the guy that shot Stonewall Jackson, oh my god, you feel like such a dumbass dude, I mean, I was literally a few months ago, I was like, I was thinking about what if I shot Stonewall Jackson, I mean, I live it every day, I think about if I find that fucker, he did it, his relatives, if I fuck him up, yeah. But because look what he, well, we don't want the South to have won, just because you can have like a little bit of sympathy and respect for what the Confederates did as the underdog, it's just like the story of Rocky, at the end of the day, you do want the movie Rocky to be able to happen, which can only happen if the Confederates lose. Yeah, you need a bad guy, yeah, you gotta have a bad guy, wait, are you saying that Apollo Creed's the bad guy? I never saw that movie in the Civil War, all I'm saying is, and I said this last, I was on this pod, you know, I'm a Virginia through it, through it, right. Got a respect Stonewall, got a respect for Robert E. Lee, I'm like a 10th generation Virginia, yeah. If we just would have fucking went with the mountain people and went with the North, the West Virginia, we would have had a beer state, West Virginia would have been so part of the squad because it said, shut up, these fucking slave owners and the fucking tide water. Yeah, suck my dick, suck my dick, yeah, you're getting us with a lot of trouble right now, right, Nord, them, yeah, said go fucking go to Georgia, whatever the fuck, and when Stonewall and Jeb Stewart, and Robert E. Lee, all from like that mountain region that we could have just said, you know what, West Virginia, slash Virginia versus the world. I mean, dog, I mean, they would have been down, yeah, they would have been with the Union boys, the VA was with it, yeah, we would have been worse of war, but it's five days, it would have been five days, because the Virginia is the only thing that keeps it going. And it's mainly a war fought about invading Virginia. It's mainly people just being like, who the fuck is telling us to do what? This is not going to happen. So, you know, I mean, you can't, there's nothing worse than somebody from the North coming down and telling you what to do. Oh, yeah, I mean, there's nothing worse than a fucking wasp coming down and telling you how to live your life, even if you don't even agree with the people that they're talking to, you're like, well, you shut the fuck up, you know. Yeah, that's nice. Well, you got, you got a book. Oh, sweet book. Idiot book and glasses. You fucking nerd. You pencil pushing bitch. You can't even beta. Yeah, can't, can't even skin a book or run a trot line. This is, this is as grand guy. Yeah, he actually is sick. No one can, no one can hate on grant. So now, man, asks his Virginia to this day. I think we kind of talked about its history. Got a checkers. Pretty cool. Checkers. Got a checkers. Got a cracker, bro. Across from a golden corral. That is, as you enter into the battlefield, there is like a, it's like a gateway. It's like a tunnel where you've got, you have to drive between a golden corral. And a cracker, bro, you go through all the, whatever that, whatever they call that section of town, where it's just every fast food place you can put in one area, because it's right next to the highway. And then we look and get 17 gas stations, 17 fast food. There's a movie theater to regal cinemas. I think it's going out of business, but shout out. Yeah, great place to get a bite. And then you go down a little further. I saw Adam Sandler's eight crazy nights in regal cinema. I remember I was with my moms. I was with my friends mom. My friend took me and his mom was there. And I remember I was slurping my, I was trying to get something out of my slurpee. And I was like, kind of doing that noise. And she goes, "But you stopped that?" Like that to me. And that was the first time I realized like my friends moms could be bitches. I never forget that. Kellyn, I don't remember your last name, Kellyn. I fucking hate you and I hate your fat mom, dude. If I ever fucking saw you in person, I punch you straight in the face. I do if South One, there would be no eight crazy nights. It's true. So it's like, I don't know. I've heard some things about the Jews and owning slaves. I'm not going to get into this podcast. That'll probably be a follow-up episode. But there's some rumors. The Patreon. So did you know this is forget the Golden Corral and the Cracker Barrel, which when you go between those, you do enter a time portal. There's something about a Golden Corral and a Cracker Barrel directly across from each other. That as you drive through it, you just, you go into the past. All of a sudden Stonewall Jackson is in the car with you, dude. It's fucking wild. But they were going to build a Disney America in 1993. This was right after I was born. I was not in Manassas at this point. I'm in Woodbridge. It was intended to be a 3,000 acre theme park, celebrating American history, located right there, about two miles from Manassas National Battlefield. So it was, I mean, I'm assuming it would have been Disney World Manassas. I'm assuming it would have been like Mickey Mouse in a Confederate uniform. You know, if you go to Etsy, I bet they have. There is someone in Virginia or Tennessee making fucking Mickey Mouse. It's a Disney character that would be in the South. Probably a foghorn leghorn. He already has the accent. Well, I said, I said, I said, he would have been like the plantation owner, you know, and he got foghorn leghorn doing like plantation shit. I don't know the Disney stuff. I know the Disney stuff is racially charged. There was an era in Disney where they were doing some pretty racially charged fucking drones. You really could. If you get the Disney world, you could not make a nice civil war out of those characters. You got Mickey Mouse with his arms, fucking like this. He's doing full Stonewall Jackson. He's in a Confederate uniform. And then you got a subverse. Who the POC Disney princesses now? All of them. All the whole princesses versus the new princess. South worth this new school fucking foreigner shit. Now, I like to think that here's here was one of the craziest fucking things I thought. Prominent historians expressed concerns that the park would commercialize and oversimplify complex aspects of American history such as slavery and civil war. I'm assuming that at some point, Disney pitched like doing goofy as a slave. I'm assuming that when they rolled this plan out, they just had goofy will be like, whoa, shocks. And everybody was like, what the fuck dude? No. I just love this week. I got to get kids in his history somehow. I love thinking of like the daughters of the Confederacy be like, no, this is going to be good. I didn't get kids into the Civil War. They're in learn about their heritage. And they're going to be racist and have Confederate flags in their front yard. You imagine them trying to tear down a Disney Confederate statue. You couldn't do it. You couldn't do it. You know, they would say it's privately owned privately owned. You can't take down Mickey Mouse on top of a horse standing like a stone wall with goofy and fucking shackles behind them. It's fucking nuts that they were going to try to address slavery and Disney menaces. I mean, I cannot fucking get over that. Disney will menaces. Now we have a checkers instead. And if you're in Thailand, you probably don't understand what the daughters of the, you have the daughters of the American Revolution. And then you also have the daughters of the Confederate, what is it? The daughters of the Confederacy? Yeah. And then mothers against driving. And all of those women are interchangeable. Their beliefs are slightly different, like what they meet about, but mostly they just bitch and complain. That's their main job. I mean, they got women in Thailand, right? Yeah. Imagine putting them all in one room. They start making plans and shit. And then you give them control textbooks. Yeah. Maybe we should have given the right to vote to women earlier. And you're just sitting there like, I don't know. I've met women. It doesn't sound right. Yeah, but the daughters of the Confederacy are some weird shit. Yeah. They're doing tried life. That's the original tried life. They're trying to get women not to be able to vote. They're trying to go back. Yeah. That's their main goal is to go backwards. I want to knit. Yeah. Yeah. Why the fuck do I have to work now? Can you imagine like, this is how fucking, this is how discontented women get is women had a set up where they didn't have to pay for anything. They didn't have to work. All they had to do was look over the kids from ages one to five, right? After that, the kids in school, public school, you don't even have to fucking pay for it. And then you get a fat check. You get to cook all day. You get to hang out. What do you got to do? You got to clean once in a while. Okay, maybe. But they invented the dishwasher. They invented the oven. All of those are inventions. You think men wanted a dishwasher. They don't give a fuck about having a dishwasher. We had to invent those because our wives would not fucking leave us alone. Well, that was the problem. They invented all this shit and then they got bored. Washing machine. What they can do an iron. And so women just they ran out of shit to do. That's what you're thinking. I think they got bored. We had to get we have to go back. So if you're going to do trad life, you have to get rid of your washing machine for all of the fellas who are out there right now in Thailand, thinking about whether or not you should do trad life. One thing to keep in mind is you are going to have to get rid of your washing machine and dishwasher because otherwise your wife is going to get bored. Or if your country's thinking about industrialization anyway, don't do it. Yeah, Stone Age. Yeah, Stone Age. Yeah, I mean, maybe they just got bored and we're like, fuck this shit. I want to fucking go. Yeah, city haul sewing machine. He gets to go to the fucking city hall meeting and like, vote for street name. He gets to he gets to name it fucking general Robert E Lee high school. I want to get to name shit. What the fuck? And that's what the daughters of the Confederacy politically did. Made a group and then named every single fucking thing they could based on started building statues, which there is a weird misconception that people think that the reason Confederate statues started popping up in the 1960s was in response to the Civil Rights Act. And maybe that's true. But I would also say that the 1960s also happened to coincide with the centennial of the American Civil War. So maybe for the 100 year anniversary, they also started putting up statues. That's like one of those goofy like New York Times 1619 Project 1619 where they're like, and then they did the white man decided to put up. This is a white woman by the way, talking to this accent. And then the white man decided to put up statues of his ancestors and what they did to us. And there's like a black woman being like, are you sure it's not? Are you sure it's not because it's the 100 year anniversary? And he's like, well, hold up queen. That's a white woman again going, well, hold up queen. And the black woman's like, no, please don't talk like that. Please stop doing that accent. So that's a fun fact you can take into your school and argue with your high school teachers because I know a lot of Gen Z really likes this podcast. Bring that into the college classroom. I remember when we did a class about slavery. Literally, this is Northern Community College teacher, professor. He knew his stuff. He knew a lot about slavery. It was a class about it was a, I don't know if it was a class about slavery or just a class about American history. And it was the era of the Civil War. And the base was like, this is pretty much a class about slavery. And he was very much like the Civil War was like 99% about slavery. It was very much about slavery. There was a, that just sounds like a guy who's fetishizing slavery. That sounds like a guy who's like a little too into slavery. He's like, oh, they used to put him in chains and they'd whip him and it was really naughty. And you're like, what the fuck am I, what am I learning history right now? Are you about to come? This guy was was on some weird shit because we did his lesson and we covered the N word in this lesson. Did he say it? So yeah, he's saying the N word and he's like, is he saying the N word? He's saying hard are pronouncing it out loud. White guy, white dude, but he was a professor. So he has the card. You don't know this. But like if you go through that level education, you give you the past. I have an MBA. If you get a master's degree in Thailand, I want you to listen to Joey Nuffield. Come on. So what happened? According to this guy, I got an MBA. I got the past. I can drop you. You're not even a historian. You just have a business degree. You didn't even study history. You're literally talking about microeconomics, dropping the N word, just being like, and what what what you ends got to understand is this shit about opportunity cost. It's like, yeah, I could produce. I mean, shit, I could make a lot of raisins, but you know what I can also make is hip hop shout out to my and everyone's like, what the fuck? Yeah, this guy is like actually kind of making is making that, you know, assertion. Like I this is an academic setting. I'm an academic professor. I for academic reasons will be using the N word throughout this lesson. Holy shit. I'm going to start saying that before my steps before I just stand up. If you preface it, listen, it's coming. Yeah. Don't be a lot. I have a degree. Yeah. I learned about this word. We did. We did a whole semester. Yes. If anyone should be able to use it, it's me. I'm an expert on slavery and the N word. Why else do you think I'm teaching at Northern Virginia Community College? I'm losing my mind in a core class for fucking eight for freshmen. Uh-huh. So this guy's, you know, saying I'm going to use N word, you know, please just be like, have some respect. Have some effect. Be mature. Yeah, be mature. This is academics. And then he puts a do rag on and he goes, this is just this is for academic settings. I'm putting this do rag on for academic reasons because I'm trying to get into a character piece. Uh-huh. Mind you, this is community college, bro. This is not that serious. But this is this is a diverse group of people. You know, it's not just like, you know, private school rich white kids, right? There are a lot of black people in this class. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you kind of got to respect his bravery. And this is, I guess this is probably this is 2016 or 17. Yeah. This is, you know, cancel cultures come around. Yeah, it's starting Jordan Peterson's fighting to, you know, to be able to say trans. This guy's fighting a real fucking battle. Jordan Peterson's over there being like, I just don't want to say they them. This guy's going, I need to be able to say the N word or I can't teach this fucking class. What the fuck am I going to teach this class. If I can't drop a hard ER. I've literally simultaneously Jordan Peterson's going viral because he's misgendering words like it's and people are going to his classes protesting, shading themselves to the desk, getting fired from university. And no one has an issue with it. So he's in the historical context. Jordan Peterson is actively going on the Joe Rogan experiencing like, well, I don't know why I got to say they them. I, you're not fucking plural. Okay. All I wanted to do was tell you guys to make your bed and all of a sudden I'm a fucking Nazi. Meanwhile, there's a guy in northern Virginia community college whose lectures I've been watching on YouTube and he gets to say the fucking N word. What about that Justin Trudeau? A fuck off Justin Trudeau? That's the difference between Canada. Yeah. And Virginia. So that maybe you know, Virginia is the South. Yeah. Yeah. A job in R and A. It's one thing if the professors do it under an academic guy's point, but it was too far when Disney pulled Mickey Mouse who does the exact same voice as Jordan Peterson. And they put Mickey Mouse in a Southern uniform and he was like, well, why don't you fucking be why don't you be get over here because I've got some cotton to pick. I guarantee you, though, this is the role of Manassas. You also get the pass there. Yeah. But that's in the parking lot. That's not an academic setting. But this guy. So this guy's teaching us about the hard and I do not remember what question he asked, but the answer to this question is the N word. Like in order if you want to get this question right, you got to say the N word. If you're trying to buy crack on the streets and this motherfucker hitting you with, he trying to tell you if you're trying to buy, trying to buy crack, you're trying to hit you with $38 for a rock. This is a white guy in Northern Virginia Community College wearing a do rag and he goes, he's saying it's $38 for a rock. What are you going to say? Blank, please. And then it's like, A, the N word, B, B. He has to spell it out. Yeah, it's too, you have two choices. Say the N word or the actual word. Yeah, the actual word. He asked this question to the class, something about slavery, civil war or something. The answer was the N word. This white kid, you know, raises his hand like no one. I got it. I got it. No, no, no, no, it's not like that. This kid was not. I got it. Hold on. Wait, call me. Call me. He has a question of like, they were in a best pro shop at. He's still wearing his coveralls. He just got out of a tree stand that morning. If I was on the manassas campus, yeah, there would have hands would have been shot and shooting up everywhere. Everyone was going to try and answer this question. Well, this is Anandale, right? So it's different. So it's all Asian kids. No, they're not a community. There's, yeah, the city. This city is a lot of Asian people. They are not a community college, right? It's. Up there arguing over pronouns and you're on the front lines of the real culture wars. Yeah. So he answers the question is whatever it is and where no one's raising their hand because no one wants to say the N word in front of the class, right? No one really wants to raise their fucking in anyway. It's a college. It's a community college. No one's really that engaged. He asked the question. No reason to finally this kid goes. Yeah, I know. And then he goes the N word. Yeah. And he goes. You can say it, man. He's like, kids like, what? He's like, it's an academic setting. Like, you don't just. Guys, like, what do you talk? Yeah, he's like, the N word. He's like, academic said it. Like, it's fine. I need you to say it. You're not going to get full credit unless you unless you say it with a heart of your unless you pronounce it with the fucking. And then say, Qua, that little Southern. If you don't say it like that in a Southern accent, you're not going to get full credit. And he denies it three times like Peter denying Christ. He's doing his best to deny. He says before the cock crows, you will say the N word. That's what the professor says is literally a back and forth. He's like, doesn't want to say it. He just says it in the most dejected way effort, dude, drops the hard art. Your please academic reasons, man. And that was probably the last time. I don't know if that maybe. Did he drop the class? No, he's just said he probably felt empowered. He probably never stopped saying it after that. And then he would just keep going. It's an academic setting. He's working as warehouse job. I got the pass. And they were like from your black friends. He's like, no, for my history professor. He was wearing a duro. It's a history 105. I'm pretty much an expert in the end word. I got the pass. Oh, fuck, man. Yeah. What was the question? What ended up happening? He just said the N word for everyone. Everyone was just like, okay, there was a different because that's 2017. That's kind of late. I remember when we read Huckleberry Finn and they were dropping it left and right or might have been adventures of Tom Sawyer. It was one of the two. I think it's Huckleberry Finn because he's got blank Jim. He's got his sidekick. Great Louis K. But bet you go watch it where he's like, Jim is already a nickname. You didn't need to add that little shoes on there. So in the whole time we were doing popcorn reading for Huckleberry Finn and the fucking funniest bit you could do. I mean, this is an Irish Catholic school in fucking, you know, in Woodbridge right in front of Muromsco Plaza. So it's pretty white. And then there's we are one teacher is Mrs. Ferguson. So she's black. And every single time we would get to the world, you'd just be like, popcorn reading Joey. And then you would have to lead with. I just didn't really remember this kid saying it when he said it goes literally, like verbally, let's go a sigh and just drops the hardy art. And I don't know the disliked by chance for like the power he must have felt like or like I just yeah his eyes just lit up right after he was like, I thought I wasn't going to like that. Like he went home afterwards and no one even saying. Yeah, he's telling his parents and his dad's like, I don't think that's a good idea. And he's like, no, it's what I learned in college. Literally, it's just a word. Yeah, it's just a word. You can just say it. I mean, and it's really pretty speech. If Jordan Peterson found out that you could say the N word and American institutions, he'd be so fucking fired up. He'd be like, Justin Trudeau. But people down in Anondale campus said, no, the community college, guys, we're in a fucking, guys, we're in a fucking do rag. Okay, saying a who commits most of violent crimes in the DC metropolitan area, blank. It's the blank. I mean, holy shit, man. I mean, that is fucking on that guy's a bad guy. That professor, that professor is a bad guy, dude. That's genuinely that's the type of shit where you're like, maybe woke hasn't gone far enough. Because we got to get guys like that out of teaching. There's no reason you couldn't just say the N word. That's fun. Everyone knew the answer was the N word. It wasn't a hard question. You just take a multiple choice test. And every single answer, the starting A is always just him writing the N word. He just got to write it so many times. What was the American Civil War fought over? Yeah, just every single question, no matter what it is, the N word is it comes out of the choices. Yeah, what did the South think that the American Civil War was not about? Yeah, what year? What year was the Battle of Manassas? Hey, the N word beat 1861. What do you think guys? The second one is 1862, which we'll cover in a different episode, because I'm sure that'll be fucking great. Oh, brother. Oh, fuck, dude. You got any closing notes about the Civil War? Nope. In the Battle of Manassas. Oh, fuck. Shit, dude. Good battle guys. You guys tried your best. Everyone fought hard. I mean, we could, we could, you know, tighten a few things up. Yeah, I think we learned that there was some organization. Yeah. But like, you know, the energy was there from both sides. The vibes were high. Yes, from both sides. I like the energy that you guys fought hard from Dusseldon, like, guys went after. Let's see, let's fight this battle in one year from now in August. And let's fight the same battle in 1862. And let's see what happens. And we'll cover that in another episode. We'll see how the battlefield tactics have changed, where we're at in the Civil War. And, you know, other than that, having I say, I'm glad you guys got to learn something. See you guys. You can say it, man.