The Chiefs Choke, Lamar’s Out, Minshew Magic, Peanut Punch Chaos, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

somewhere out there is a chevy truck and the person who drives it well that's a chevy person you probably know one your buddy your sister ones who always show up they're the first to rise the last to leave they always have that little extra something and maybe you've got it too chevrolet together let's drive visit chevy.com slash trucks to explore the lineup this episode of the bill simmons podcast is presented by state farm every football player brings something different to the field maybe they have a cannon arm speed power maybe they have their own podcast that being said no two players are exactly alike and the same is true off the field that's why state farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalized coverage for your life and budget like a good neighbor State Farm is there. All right. The Bill Simmons podcast live on Netflix. Right as we were coming on. I don't know why that's so funny to you. Go ahead. Sal said he had another procedure on Thursday. So I was laughing. And then we're on live TV here. Wanted to mention new rewatchables coming tomorrow. All the Right Moves. Tom Cruise. 19th movie. Football movie. A classic. Me and Kyle Brand did that one. And then the week after we're doing. Air Force One. Me and Chris and Sean. Which is on Netflix right now. And then I think Amy Poehler is going to be on this month too. Really? That's the rumor. Yeah. I know her guy, Lewis. Oh, really? Oh, you know him? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. I know Lewis. Oh, could you get him on one of these? He'd be dynamite. Possibly. UCLA is eight. No. Lewis is feeling great these days. You know what wasn't feeling great today? Sunday Night Football at NBC. Wow. I actually. At one point. I went. I went online to try to figure out what the worst Sunday Night Football game has been since NBC had it. And this might have been it. This might have been the worst combo of records, quarterbacks, quality of play. I had two basketball games on. I was watching the Lakers game. I was watching the Warriors game. Yaxel is one of the best right away rookies that we've had. All right. Yaxel and Boozer. Like, we're doing great because. And the football was happening. You're watching two basketball games during Sunday Night. Don't pretend like you're old. You're not exclusively Sunday Night Football watching on Sunday nights. You always have two best games. Did you ever in a million years think the Eagles were winning that game? Million years. I don't know. Was Washington that good in the second quarter? It looked like they were collapsing. I don't know. It was a shitty game for sure. It was terrible. Those guys. They tried, though. They filled a lot of time. They dedicated time to eulogies. Chris spent a lot of time talking. He must have mispronounced pass rush. I think he was going to break the record. I think he had the Guinness staff on. He's like, we need something to do with here, but I don't know why they had that game. I looked it up. Like I said, I asked AI. I said, why is this game not flexed? And AI is just like, you stumped us. This is it. We're not that smart. So could they have done, they couldn't have just stolen KC Denver from CBS? From what I, my limited research, Brown Steelers, Chiefs Broncos were protected by CBS. Vikings Lions was locked in by Fox. Or reserved for a later primetime slot. So like week 15 or something. So that left. And then there are other teams who have the, are maxed out for primetime, I think, including my shit ass squad, but whatever. We don't have to talk about them ever. Here's my idea. Let's do better with the flexing. Cause this game should have been flexed. I don't even think this would have made my multi-view today. Anyway, Philly, Philly lost. And I know you're excited cause you hate the Eagles. And they are now two and six. Yeah. And our cross-off teams. I'm going to start here. We crossed off Miami, Tennessee, the chargers, Arizona, Indianapolis, and the jets feeling great about those six. I think Philly is the next cross-off. I don't see this coming back. I think they're probably going to, they're two and six. They're going to trade dudes. The only scenario is they would basically have to go seven. And I think seven and two, seven and one, something like that. Yeah. I think the eight wins is maybe you could win. But nine wins, probably. And they're not getting to nine wins. So I vote we cross them off. It's over. Had they won, we would have had a decision to make. Probably wouldn't have gone Eagles or Washington, right? We probably would have had to take one of the bye teams, the Saints or the Texans. So that would have been tough. My team is always in the mix. Please don't disregard them. But we did beat the Eagles somehow. And we have a game up on them. And we have our starting quarterback. And so I think it has to be Eagles. Yeah. So they are now three and a half games behind the Giants. And the Giants are going to win. They're in the last column. They're in last place. And actually, they have the second worst record in the entire NFC. So if that's not enough, then you look at the schedule the rest of the way. They still have some tough ones left. They have home for Giants, Pittsburgh, at Dallas, at Arizona. They have Seattle on their schedule. They end with at San Francisco and at the Giants. And from what we've seen from the quarterback situation, that's not going to get better. So I think it's a wrap for them. There's really no quarterbacks to trade for. Think of the bad quarterbacks we watched today. And the best player is doing Pilates in the fourth quarter on the sideline. Like Barkley, I think it's three fourth quarter carries or something they showed. So there's no coming back for them. Well, they also traded A.J. Brown for a future number one, which seems like a great trade since he doesn't play for the Patriots. I don't want to call that trade a disaster yet, but I can't say I've enjoyed the first two months. Right. But then they used their first-round pick and who is aptly named because he doesn't jump out of the TV at all. I haven't seen anything from him that makes me think he's going to be good. So they kind of went sideways on that one. They claim that all the info guys, including Pellicero, are saying they don't seem to have a huge appetite to trade Barkley. Yeah. Well, I don't know. There's probably not a big appetite on the other end, too. Right. With the contract, you can't make it through. Yeah. It's rough. So that GM is great, though. So they always figure. They always figure something out. Not for this year, for sure, but they'll get. Roseman will figure something out. So playoff picture, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Jacksonville, and Denver are four leaders in the AFC for divisions. And then we have four other teams that have five wins. So the AFC is getting really interesting. Baltimore is four and four. Vegas is four and four. They're not even in the top eight. And then in the NFC, Giants, Minnesota, Carolina, and Tampa basically have three wins each. San Francisco, Chicago. Chicago's five and two. Detroit's five and two. Green Bay's five and three. Seattle, four and three. Rams, four and four. So I'm as confused as ever. Lots of teams. Like when you try. Oh, they're not going to make it. It gets really hard to try to figure out who's actually not going to make it. So I think right now, and this obviously could change, but I like the Rams and I like the Packers. I think they're good teams. And I think only one of them is making it. I think they're almost like the Rams are minus 118 to make it. The Packers are plus 102. It's basically a coin flip. Yeah. Um, both are nine and a half wins on Fandle. I think that's the last team. And that's, that's a huge game on Netflix, which we're on right now. I don't know if you know, I just, I just looked up. We're on November 25th, the night before Thanksgiving. Those two play. I think that's the seven seed right there. Right. Cause wouldn't you think everybody else would make it? You love, you know, the, the, the Viking two from the North, right? Aside from the Packers. Well, we'll talk about the bikes in a second. You have to get to 10 wins. Yeah. I think to make it. Yep. Now. The question is, could somebody get 10 wins and be on the outside looking in? Anyway, could we have a 10 and 17? You mentioned Rams to make it minus one 16 on Fandle Packers minus one Oh eight. And then, uh, the giants are minus one 46 now to make the playoffs, which is mostly tied to the division odds. Right. So it's fair. I don't know. The lions looked, the lions had a really tough injury today with Campbell, but the lions, that was the best their defenses looked. Yeah, it, it feels like a top heavy league all of a sudden, which should be good for the gambling. I would say at some point, cause that kind of ties into the teaser stuff we did. We'll talk about what the Bengals was good for the goose is good for the gambling. That's what they always say. My grandfather would always say that. I don't know. Who is the gander? The gander. The goose is good for the, what the gander was the Gipper, right? I don't fricking know. Come on, man. I got too many pills here. A couple, a couple of things before we get into the games. Aaron from Madera, California wrote in and said, this is the one weekend where we got an extra hour of sleep because they had savings time. Really? They couldn't have had a year, a Europe game this week. No doubt about it. What the fuck are they doing? I felt, I woke up, it was five o'clock, but it was really four o'clock because Murph just decided to bark at something in the hallway, which was probably a ghost. Right. And I was up ever since. Um, I actually watched air force one cause I tried to watch the rewatchables a couple of times to get ready. watching Air Force One. and it's like five in the morning. It's pitch black. And I'm just like, why aren't the Steelers playing the Panthers in Zimbabwe right now? Why do they do that to us? For sure. Stupid. And when we become sports schedules ours, this won't be an issue, right? And I was well-rested. That definitely should have been a London game. The games essentially started at 2 Eastern, as you said. Right. I almost decided to work out. That's how bored I was this morning. Yeah, did you spend time with your family? I was like, what were you doing? I don't know. I just prepped even more for betting and stuff. But yeah, that was a layup. I mean, it was after Halloween. That's perfect. Right. People are a little hungover. Good. Then the other thing, Steve Van Zandt had a tweet today. Our guy, Steve Van Zandt. I have been waiting patiently for it to get fixed since I know nothing in this modern world actually works. But I give up. All caps. The ESPN app sucks moose cock. I cannot get Sunday NFL countdown on it. It takes three or four buttons before you reach anything, even when it does work. It should show you what is live on ESPN the minute you go to it. Does that take a rocket science to figure it out? Fuck. I enjoyed that part. Well, I don't know, Tom. It's a bad app. With all due respect, if we brought the ESPN app onto a boat and it disappeared, it wouldn't be the worst thing, Jimmy Patero. He couldn't get it on the bottom big this morning. He's yelling at Pauly. So I love that. I anointed that my favorite tweet of. That's good. of 2026. Okay, game of the year. I'm going to go. Broncos, Chiefs. Jets, Raiders. Oh, okay. Jets, Raiders was the dumb game of the year. Broncos, Chiefs was actually the game of the year where the Broncos are just. They're just doing karaoke with this Bo Nix thing now. It's become a comedy routine. They go to. They get on double digits in the fourth quarter. You're just not scared for them at all. He turns into a good quarterback miraculously in the last hour of every game. But the story, Sal, a choke job by KC. Sure was. Like a legitimate. First, they could have just ended the game. They had the ball. They couldn't get a first down. Mahomes took a sack. They punt. But Broncos come flying back down. They get this huge Coleman play. How the hell did that happen? Then they get inside the five. And you're like, oh, maybe this is where they fuck up. Nope, they score. Chiefs go all the way back down the other way. They get inside the 10. They don't get it. Right. Fourth down. Third down play. I didn't like the play to Walker. The run play. Because I don't think he's like a running inside the three. So fourth down and one, whatever it was. They get a false start. And tell America, what you texted us after the false start by the Chiefs. Did I say. Wait, I can't even remember. What did I say? I'll tell America. I'll tell every country. What was it? That's the first time the Chiefs have ever gotten boned over by a call in that spot since they've had Patrick Mahomes. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. His wife got mad about it on mine after. I know. They're like, sorry, this is how the rest of the week is judged. Your right tackle moved. Sorry, sweetheart. She posted, you can't tell me you call that on a game. I'm winning touchdown. Oh, wait. Yeah, I can because it's us. That was the weakest call I've ever seen. All these terrible calls that have gone against the Chiefs over the years. Give me a break. Mahomes like probably walks up and says, honey, I don't think that's necessary. Maybe delete that, please. We've got 98% of all the calls. Hi-ho. Even Taylor Swift rolled her eyes at that. That's ridiculous. Oh, man. So anyway, fourth and six, fourth and seven, whatever it was, and then they didn't get in. The Broncos with this dramatic end of the game goal line stand, they are now six and two. I don't know how they're six and two, but did you feel like a little invincibility just pricked away from the Chiefs there? Yeah, a little bit. And I had a whole thing written up two drives before that last one, right? About, oh, Mahomes is still toying with everybody. He's still too nifty around the third and threes and the fourth and ones. And then I had to delete the whole thing because he took a huge sack. I mean, it was a terrible sack. Really crazy. Like it was third and two at the 40 with 244 left, right? So just go forward a little or don't go forward. So instead of fourth down and you go or you draw them off sides or kick a shorter field goal. Now it's a 54 yard kick. And, you know, in two weeks, Butker is going to be working as a mate at a motel six or something. But that was awful. Like that's not Chiefs football. So yes, I definitely feel like invincibility is chipped away. That was the other weird one where Andy Reid brought Butker out, I guess, thinking the out of the two might help him out. And he missed one late too. But altitude doesn't fix accuracy. That's the only problem with altitude. Right. When you kick the ball to the right or the left of the uprights doesn't really help. Just makes it goes faster by. My thought on the false start was I think after the Tucker signing, the Chiefs finally had enough and they weren't going to game the roulette table for them anymore at that point. The refs had enough? You know what? Yeah, the refs. The refs in the league. I think everybody, they were like, all right. Enough with this. Special treatment. We've had it with these guys. The big news for Denver other than this Bo Nix thing where they're three and three since last season in games where they've trailed by 11 plus points in the fourth quarter and the rest of the league is 11 and 215. Wow, that's crazy. So they have almost 20% of all of those. I would think they're almost better than three and three. But yeah, that's they trail in every single game. Shout out to Joe House. Good job by you. Plus 750. What do you have? Like a Chiefs first half Denver to win the game. Well, he called it the reverse cousins, the oxy cousins, South special reverse. I'll take it. Plus 750. I know multiple Denver fans and I texted my friend Dave Bernard because he's a huge Bronco fan that we were trying to come up with a Bo Nix movie analogy. And I said, he's like the kid and almost famous who wasn't quite, good enough of an actor to hang with all the other people. But he like really like was scrappy and he did his best. And then in the last scene, he put it together. And that's kind of Bo Nix. Right. You could get through the movie and it's okay. And he's going to throw some balls into the ground, but maybe he'll make you wince a few times. But in the end, you get the W and that's about as much as you're going to ask. So are we waiting for his big, almost famous moment where he yells at the band? Like she loved you and you shit on her. And she loved you because she was pure and she loved pure rock. And that's what, and you turn your back on her. That's what we're waiting on. Or it's like, that's what do you love about really stupid comebacks? Bo Nix turns the chair around to begin with everything. All right. I asked our buddy Gus, diehard Denver Broncos fan, when was the last time they had a good running back? Because Jonah Coleman was really good today. Yeah. To the point that it made me kind of increase the ceiling for them. He said CJ Anderson in 2015. That's what I would say. So somewhere between Terrell Davis and I guess we're saying Jonah Coleman's good, but I guess, yeah, CJ Anderson was all right. He was saluting and everything. Yeah, he was good. He said Lindsay had a thousand yard season once and Dobbins was third in the league last year before he got hurt. But for the most part, the Broncos have thrown away this position. But I thought Jonah Coleman changed the game for them today. Really good. That was, and it's not like, you know, Waddle, he's made a couple of good short yardage stuff for them. But for the most part, I don't think he's had the impact they thought. But what they really needed was somebody like Coleman. Yeah. It is weird down low like by the goal line. Like, oh my God, why does it take all the way to fourth down always for this and all the way to the fourth quarter for Denver to come back? And then that little out route front, you know, to the fullback or whoever is almost always open on fourth down, I think. And then Waddle, the same thing. But, yeah, I also thought JJ Watt had a bad time at the goal. Like, almost as bad as the Chiefs when he said, like, it was fourth and goal from the one. And he's like, well, you got to just do three quarterback sneaks in a row here. No screwing around. And Nance is like, yeah, but you're going to have to get it here because it's fourth and goal. And then they did the pass to Waddle and scored. It was not a great game for them. Yeah. There was only three games and this was by far the one you would want the announcers for. Nance, I'm not ready to really get worried about him and say that he's in trouble, like, past, like, he's lost it. But he did not match the excitement and energy of that game today, I didn't think. I just didn't think he was good enough. So, hopefully. Maybe it's the altitude. Should they have oxygen up in those boots? I don't know. Maybe they, maybe he needed some. Because even you listen to Tirico in the next game and Tirico's just so good at matching whatever, even a boring game, he can live. But a game like, a game like that Broncos-Chiefs game, he just would have crushed it. Right. And Nance, I think, used to be able to match the moment of those games. So, hopefully, he can get it together. Nance is paying Al Michaels to stay on. And we love Al Michaels, but he's another one that has trouble matching the moment. And stuff. And instead of, like, going higher, they just kind of do the, and Jonah Coleman, that's a touchdown. Right. But I really thought he struggled today. Not as much as Bo Nix for the first two hours, but. So, for the Broncos, they get revenge. They cover every tease, which seemed. in danger, including my ringer 1071 they they won outright and that was a line that moved all over the place and the big thing is they got revenge against the chiefs chiefs would have been 4-0 in the division and they really would have had i think that i think they almost would have been able to pack it away so now that's going to be a good bad and the chiefs killed him that first monday night right they waited and they gave mahomes the last game of the week because whatever he's coming off an injury you know nicks was also coming off an injury and and kenneth walker went nuts and he did not go nuts today. They did have a couple big plays, which is like, oh, there's 52 points scored in that game. But yeah, if they could keep Kenneth Walker contained, this goes to any team, you might be in decent shape against the Chiefs. There's some special team stuff to be worried about. I haven't seen a Kelsey game yet where he's looked healthy for three hours. This one, he went in and out. He's limping around. There was one play where Mahomes had him in the second half over the middle. It was like they had these miscommunications that I don't remember them normally having, and he's just at a different point in his career. I think the AFCs, I just don't know who the team is. Because even you think about Buffalo, who is just getting these gifts week after week. Lamar gets hurt in the first 10 minutes of the game. He's gone. The backup comes in. He gets hurt. It's another gift wrap for them. Houston week one, they drop the interception. I just don't have a feel for them. Nobody ever wants to give Buffalo credit in the regular season. All they do is win 11, 10, 12 games, 13. Have you been impressed though? I'm used to it. There are some teams like Denver and Minnesota where the quarterback only needs to do so much and they're going to win games, the majority of their games. Then there's teams like the Bills where you really just need the quarterback to do stuff. 36-10. I know the Bills had a couple turnovers and it was 13-7 for a minute. For a minute, it was 13-7 for an hour. I guess it was like 16-10 with nine minutes left in the third. The Bills kept giving them the ball back. They got stopped on a fourth down. They had a couple turnovers. I didn't think they played well at all for the first hour and a half. It just became clear as the game went along. Once Hutley went out and the third stringer came in and he had two good passes in a row when he came in. Then it was just like, wow, this might actually be the worst. What was his name? Joey Fignano? His name is Joey Fignano. Unfortunately, it's spelling. His grandparents made a very strong move not to pronounce the G in his last name. I think that bode well for him. The thumb to the helmet thing on the first play is very lucky. It's right up there. I think we talked about that in NBA with the center landing on a power forward's foot. I can't believe that doesn't happen and cause injuries four times a game. Poor Lamar is out there. Then down to the third string. I feel like we say this, once a year on the pod, that we don't understand why seven quarterbacks a year don't break their thumb on the follow through on somebody's hand or helmet. It seems like it should happen all the time. Lamar, there's going to be this is yet another injury. We'll see how long. There's no answer for this. I googled, Goff came back in 12 days. Other guys have come back in three weeks. Some guys are out for the year. You just have no idea. The thumb is bad, though. It is. If you go by the eye test, that shit has been in all different ways. It's rough. That could be it for him. I mean, we don't even know if like Huntley. Huntley has turf toe. He could be back. It could be all right. But I don't know this division. All of a sudden, it's going to take a lot of games to win it. They're four and four. They're last in the AFC North. And here's the big one, Sal. They're playing on Thursday. Like this might be a wrap for them. Because if they're four and five and Lamar is not going to come back in three to four weeks, this is the team I thought was going to win the division. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh keeps putting together wins. The Browns are ahead of them, which I don't think is going to last. And then Cincinnati keeps winning dumb games where they play well for an hour. Yeah. So I think when you if you think Denver and Casey are going to be playoff teams in New England and Buffalo are going to be playoff teams, AFC South team. So that leaves only two from AFC North. So they have to get into the top two. I don't see it. I was looking for a a night because the Steelers are a nice price to not make the playoffs a plus 160. But you're right. That means we're running out of teams here because that means either Cleveland or the Raiders or Baltimore or Houston has to sneak in. Right. And well, so he I would you would you get to bet on Houston or Cleveland to make the playoffs, which Cleveland has a better record than they're five and three in Houston's two and four, two and five. Yeah. But why do I have feel better about Houston than Cleveland? Is that stupid? I know it's not stupid because I've done this before. I mean, they did it last year, but I think I would still take Cleveland. Why? The odds are comparable. No, you got better odds for Cleveland's plus 184 in Houston. Plus one. Wow. Houston's plus 146. Yeah. So my instincts were correct. The problem with Cleveland, you saw it today. Like you just run all over him. Yep. And I think teams have figured that out over the last couple of weeks. And now what Pittsburgh did to them today, that was like, take the game off the multi-view within an hour. This was dumb. This should have been our best bet. Like this is where we're seasoned vets. We should have seen, looked ahead and we saw they've lost like 22 straight in Pittsburgh. Honestly, it would have been except for this Europe thing with the Europe teams being 0-8 playing the week after. That kind of freaked me out. Yeah. That was the only reason I didn't do the Steelers. They just owed them a beatdown. It was like, take it like a man, Deshaun. This is going to be, they had eight sacks for, you know, once they forced two turnovers and eight sacks, nothing else really matters. Yeah. And then you think like the Browns beat them the last time, but it was a Thursday night. Their secondary was battered. I think that was either right when the Porter trade was happening or right before it happened. And it was, and they barely won anyway. So Steelers get revenge. Yeah. I, I, from a Ravens standpoint, what did Fando have for the Ravens? That was to make the playoffs. So they're plus 430 to make the playoffs. So Fando's written them off. Cause I wouldn't bet that. I think the Thursday thing, now that you brought it up, it is like Huntley might've played on regular rest, but if they have to put this guy in again, you know, on a Thursday, now all of a sudden you're four and five. And, you know, it's interesting cause the Steelers still play them twice. It's like really is all scheduling, right? Had the Steelers played the Ravens a few weeks ago, it would have been different. Now they play, maybe Snoop Huntley led, led Ravens twice. So I would say playing, playing Jacksonville in Jacksonville on a Thursday after what happened on today is the single worst team they could play in the AFC. Right. The Jags have won seven straight games at home by 17 plus. I think it's in Baltimore. At home they're just really good. It's in Baltimore. Oh, is it in Baltimore? I think so. Right. Well, then I changed what I said. Take it back. Cut that out. Oh shit. We're live. Fuck. Who's idea to go live? My God. Oh, is it? Yeah. Are we sure? Yeah. I wrote it down. At the team on the right side of the app. Oh, I have to, I have to change my pick then. Go. Oh yeah. It's Jacksonville, Baltimore. All right. I'm changing my pick. I don't care if we already did the graphic. I'm not staying with it. It's fine. It's fine. So the Steelers Browns game, Warren and Dowdle were 32 for one 99, two touchdowns. Yeah. Watson was 27 for 39 for three 24 and they scored six points. So I don't know if you can have more meaningless yardage than that. I took the game off the multi-view probably at, I would say 10 48. My big question for you with the Steelers was, was Tom and holding them back. Does this become a storyline this week? Why are they better this year? Were they Aaron Rogers a year older and it's basically the same team. Why are they, why are they better? Why is their offense better? Did he not know how to coach offense at all? Should that have fallen on him? Because McCarthy has unlocked a nice little way of like pound with the run and then, you know, try to get Rogers deep a couple of times and it's working. It's kind of perfect. The formula they have, right? The defense is as good as we always thought it would be right. Creating constant pressure or pretty good solid pressure throughout the three hours. And they were running back. Yeah. Warren has like 90 plus yards and five of his last six games and Rogers isn't screwing up. So it's a little bit early. I think they have some tough games in November. So we'll, we'll see. But yeah, now the other question could ask you, but they go, they go four and five there last night and that's 10 wins, right? Yeah. To get to 10, they should be all right. I was trying to think of, yeah, because again, they have the Ravens twice on their schedule. Like that's not, they're definitely not going to get swept there. Was Tony Dungy holding NBC back is, I mean, in a, in fairness to Tomlin Steelers are minus two 50 to make the playoffs. So people agree with this. So, I did have a Derek Henry question. Cause I had Baltimore plus three and ringer one Oh seven. And you know, it felt like there was a puncher's chance there for a little while with the way Buffalo kept turning the ball over. Henry was 11 for 53 in this game and watching it. It was like, why aren't they just handing it? Why, why isn't this like a 28 carry Derek Henry game? It was because they're playing Thursday night or whatever, but they just didn't really involve him that much in the game. And that, that left a Joey to try to be making these plays on third down. and I just thought it was a very strangely coached game by them. It was almost like even though the score was close, they didn't feel like they were going to be able to get to 17 points. Yeah, they could have stayed with the game script for a little bit, right? Because it was 16-10 with nine minutes left in the third before who was it? Who got the long pass? Was it Coleman that caught the long pass from Allen? But yeah, I feel the same way. But believe me, as someone who hasn't been in two fantasy leagues, I'm dying here with Derrick Henry. Mallory is absolutely distraught, in case you were wondering. This is the Orioles. Tough sports year for Mallory, but the Ravens going from being one of the two favorites heading into the season. It was the Bills and the Ravens were the two AFC favorites. And now they are favored not to make the playoffs. I don't know. I put a large amount of money on the Ravens to win the division. I forget what week it was, two or three. And the Bengals, I'm like, this team isn't showing me anything. And the Steelers will go away. And instead, Lamar went away. We're going to take a break. And when we come back, we're going to talk about what the Bengals did to us. Where it was a win. And yet, by the end of it, I didn't even feel like I won. I didn't know what I won. It was like when the helicopter's flying out at the end of a Vietnam movie. And you're like, what just happened? I lost almost everyone in my platoon. Did I win? That's how I felt emotionally. But we're going to talk about the Bengals next. The Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by FanDuel. Monday Night Football. Just got a lot more rewarding with FanDuel Rewards Club. You can unlock exclusive offers throughout the NFL season, including Monday Night Football. Talking profit boosts, promotions, more ways to get rewarded on the matchups you're already watching. Whether you're building a same game parlay around the game or betting on your favorite player props, there's plenty to get in on. Before Monday Night Football kicks off, head to the FanDuel app. Check out what's available for your level. Make this your most rewarding season ever with FanDuel. 21 plus select states are 18 plus D.C. or Wyoming. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fanuel.com. Game problem call 1-800-GAMBLER. Call 888-789- 7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. In today's sports, everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes, and yet it's proven time and time again that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory, and banking is no different. While everyone tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady calculated money moves, and the financial wins, they just keep coming. PNC Bank brilliantly boring since 1865. Brilliantly boring since 1865 is a registered mark of the PNC Financial Services Group Incorporated. PNC Bank National Association member FDIC. Two NFC games that were. Alright, let's see where we're standing in this division. First one was Lions-Vikings. Vikings were 6-0. Nobody believed. I ended up not putting this in Ringer 107 or really anything because I just. I kept changing my mind on what I thought might happen in this. I didn't want to bet on Kyler Murray. Then I was Vikings defense is a good defense better than a bad good defense, no offense better than good offense, bad defense. And then you watch the first half and you're like, man, shit-taking Minnesota. Oh, man, their defense. Holy shit. And then Detroit figured them out. They ran for 230 yards. Gibbs was 23 for 153. 191 touches. Seven games for him. I continue to bring that up. Goff was blitzed on 83% of his dropbacks, but was really good again. And then the Minnesota QB problem became a glaring problem as the game went on and Detroit kicked their butt. So, what'd you learn from the game? I thought, well, going in, I thought, this is the perfect team to beat the Vikings, right? Or whatever they present defensively. Because Goff doesn't make mistakes. He hadn't turned the ball over before today. And even today's turnover was like, Jamison Williams fell down and he was dizzy from spinning the ball in celebration from before, whatever. But I thought they played well against the defense. Like, they weren't scoring a lot in the first half. And Goff took four sacks, three by Van Ginkle. But they were moving the ball. They had a bunch of big plays, which you'd never get versus Florida's schemes. Like, Gibbs eventually had three explosive plays. Williams, St. Brown. That Vacky guy. Vacky, I don't know how you say it. He had two 10-plus yard rushes. So, I'm like, and I'm thinking, and I had the Lions, too. So, of course, it was invested. But I was like, Oxy Cousin had the Lions? Oxy Cousin had the Lions. I was like, this is going to be a bad loss for Dan Campbell. But, I thought the right team won. Like, you know, the Vikings, this is how it is. They average like 16 points a game over the last six. It's going to be a problem. You know, it's a foregone conclusion, but maybe they don't get the 10 wins. 266 yards. Yeah. 15 points, 15 first downs. Vikings receiver Justin Jefferson declined comment after the game through a team spokesman and got mad on the sidelines during the game. And I think over the next couple days, we are going to get a lot of Vikings quarterback stuff. Six and one. But, what would, what did you say their record would be if you were the quarterback? Four and three? I thought four and three. I'm not going to say I would be undefeated, but I think I'd be four and three. Do you have kidney stones in this scenario or are you completely healthy? Yeah, yeah. I have more kidney stones, actually. More kidney stones. Doubled up on that. Yeah, Kyler is weird, right? Because then you'll see like the 20-yard rush, the scramble. It's like, oh man, that's it. That's all they really need from him. But then there's stuff like when the pocket collapses and he's like, he like, I could see what Jefferson's saying. Like, he rears backwards staring at the top of the dome. And he looks like one of the electric football quarterback. Just like, really? There's no way it's going to make it. And, yeah, it's it's, again, they have the Bills, the Packers, and the Niners next. So, do they get to, they definitely get to ten? Are you saying Kyler Murray's throwing is like when Corolla has a really good point and he does the. That's right. Looks up before he makes his point. Closing his eyes. Ah, the goalposts. Could they be bigger? He's staring at the top of the goalposts is what he's doing. Yeah. I. You know, this is why I was out on the Vikings, why I've been waiting for them to collapse. But the defense is so good it's become one of those situations where it's like, well, maybe the defense can drag him along. And today it felt like a breaking point. Yeah. And you mentioned the schedule. You know, Cousins is out there. Now, I don't know if Vegas would even trade. No. Four and four. But that's the only one that you could really trade for and maybe try to add to this, make a difference. That the 6-1 team is looking for, because they talk about, even Vikings fans who are like, Carson Wentz would be better and who else would they say? And then the J.J. McCarthy thing hurts too. Does it? You think it hurts that they drafted him in the top 10 and gave up on him and now he's quarterbacking a division leader? I mean, that's the weirdest thing. Like, the fact that that soured so badly that they got rid of him while also not knowing if Kyler Murray was the answer or not. Right. I feel vindicated. Look, neither of us bat a thousand on our over-unders every year. Oh, yeah, that's true. Okay, yeah. I just could never get behind the Kyler Murray thing. I couldn't understand why people were so excited about this. It's not just that he's all over the place. If I was a receiver on his team, I would be terrified. Going over the middle, he loves to make you climb up the ladder so you can just get absolutely creamed from behind, which happened to Jefferson in today's game. But the ball just never seems. to be here. Yeah. You're always, like, up here, or you're this way, or. Yeah, I don't think Hawkinson's made one catch where he's had, like, both feet between the hash. Oh, yeah. He's sprawled over every single time. And that's the Bo Nix problem for the first two hours, too. It's like, he'll have open guys, but the guy's falling down without getting tackled because the throw's not good enough. But, you know, I just think the nerds were so anxious to tell us how Kyler and here's why. It's like, this guy, we've already seen this. We know what we're getting from this guy. Right. You don't just get better at quarterback as you're hitting your late 30s. Or late 20s. So that was one. And I left that game feeling like the Lions. The defense, now that the secondary has improved, Branch came back. Hopefully they get Joseph back at some point. But the defense felt a little more, two years ago, Lions-ish. The big thing is Jack Campbell, who we don't have an answer on what happened to him yet. They said he was resting comfortably in a hospital. We'll hear about it tomorrow. But that one seemed bad. And usually we get more positive updates by now. So that's like the heart of their defense. That was horrible. That put a huge black cloud over the game and was just really sad. But we didn't get any encouraging news about him yet. So that. No, I know. If he's out for the year, that. They just go through, like, I mean, this is an extreme case, but they somehow go through, like, 40 defenders a year. Right. It's so unlucky. They never seem healthy. Well, then the other one was Bucs-Falcons. The Bucs were dead. Now they're a half game out, and they became the first team since 1974 to win a game without completing a pass. And you wouldn't have believed it unless you watched the game, which both of us did. Yeah. It was. I can't even describe this game. Phoenix had one of the worst games. Now, statistically, they're saying it really was one of the worst games of all time he threw four picks i feel like he could have had two or three more like i feel like they dropped at least two more right yeah yeah his passes weren't even coming close to anybody but the other team and you want to blame the rain but yeah they were they were like some of them were not weather related he's just like not looking off a receiver and then just throwing it into double coverage anyway i was saying this was to uh in a michael pennix halloween costume jersey or like within a an erico palazzo situation where the umpires kidnapped and they bring in the uh the other quarterback but uh would that be like one of the biggest scandals in the history of the league if two was wearing michael like that fox news guy who had like his mask was coming up his neck right right they would do it in wrestling all the time but that is tommy wildfire rich oh my goodness execution number two right right who is it oh my god he he i wrote down in my notes he was reacting to the rain like my dogs when it's pouring outside and they won't don't want to go outside and get completely discombobulated it was like he had never been in rain before i've never seen a quarterback candle bad weather worse yeah he couldn't complete five yard passes he played at indiana and washington like he should he should be used to rain he really should i mean what was totally good outside of prime time i guess i don't know the halftime stats i wrote this down pennix was two for 10 for 24 yards and three picks and baker was oh for two for zero yards that was what was going on the uh the bucks ran for like you know 300 plus yards and they seem like they're the best team in the division and you know how's that talked about this on thursday's they have a top five defense by every calculation yeah they've had some losses that were losses maybe they could have flipped and it just seems after especially after what we saw in carolina on thursday night it just seems like tampa should win this but as you always say i'm just don't trust don't trust the nfc don't assume anything yeah you bet the bucks and good for you god bless but this is exactly the kind of slop you get by betting some of these nfc south games plus weather where a team wins by essentially three scores without completing a freaking pass what'd you say 1974 bills it was a lot i mean 1974 was that did oj threaten to stab his quarterback if he completed a pass what went on there yeah so tampa was one in five and then won the next two games by 59 to 13 and now they play chicago in chicago next week and have a bye but they still have like they have carolina on their schedule left they have two new orleans games they have atlanta they have the uh the corpse of the charge yeah they get to play at baltimore who's not gonna have their quarterback so what did you all the tampa bets might hit 59 13 the last two games and i think baker completed seven passes last week and zero this week you have a guy 59 13 your quarterback is like oh well your quarterback's back right like yeah no we don't know we don't know he doesn't he doesn't complete pass he's sort of back he doesn't throw him so he doesn't complete him he had one play where he went went to throw it and the ball just came out of his hand and went flying in the air but bounced to them now he's not gonna be able to throw it he's not gonna be able to throw it he's not gonna be able to throw it that was when you knew he's a magician now yeah i don't understand why they don't play the backup right like if they're not gonna throw the ball anyway why not play the guy who's a better athlete and the funny thing about the game today is bucky irving got uh peanut punched heading into the end zone that would have been another touchdown like this game hey the fact that it was even like relatively close for two hours was a miracle i have some peanut punch thoughts by the way go ahead edward you might have to cue the social media machine up for this peanut punch but it's become prevalent right and charles peanut tillman good defensive back nothing you know not amazing you would never think he's like tommy john it's amazing this thing's named after him for the rest of his life right if you missed a peanut punch and you actually punch the guy i think it should be a 15 yard penalty i think there should be stakes for the peanut punch right now there's no stakes oh interesting you just get to haul back and punch as hard as you possibly can and if you miss like you either hit somebody in the shoulder maybe you hit him in the helmet it doesn't matter because it's like oh i get to hide behind the peanut punch i think you're right but have we seen anybody miss um we saw there was a game the ucla game when nico got hurt yeah the guy peanut punched him and missed and like nailed him on the same play where he hurt his knee and they were talking about wow how is that not a penalty it's like well he's trying to peanut punch yeah so it's a peanut punch can i just walk on the street and be like try to peanut punch somebody's iced coffee but i accidentally hit them in the in the chest like this sounds like it's out of control sounds like a jimmy kimmel live hidden camera bit we would do in 2005 or something this is the year we said you're the peanut punch the peanut punch uh pedestrians and here's and then bill got actually punched yeah yeah but this is the year the peanut punch because jim nance peanut punched the jj wap ball right his hand we've never heard about that's probably why jim nance's has been off his game he's probably on more drugs than i am yeah he's probably oxy jim nance yeah so i'm with you on that yep jeff from calgary emailed today he hates quarterback wins as a stat because um baker mayfield today got a quarterback win and he thinks this is the most deceiving stat we have there's quarterbacks that get these wins and um and as he points out baker mayfield never completed a pass why does he get the quarterback win for this and should we take this stat seriously i don't know there's some interesting well he's right i mean he's calgary the calgary stampeters had a quarterback many years no i don't know i don't know what jeff calgary but that but then you know you got guys who go crazy and get losses like how many josh allen great games did he end up on the wrong side of and you get a you get a loss for that right but should it be like i had to have thrown for a hundred yards to have the qb win count interesting so it should be like baseball i have to i have to get 15 outs to get the win or i get to come in starting pitcher right right right yeah yeah okay all right that's two good points i have to generate a hundred yards of offense in some way between running and throwing to qualify for a win how about this i have to hit my receivers more than the opposing quarterback completed passes to the my defenders right that shouldn't be too hard i have to peanut punch myself to get the win carl f from winston-salem wants us to know the bucks are in a bad division oh thanks carl but if you look it up every non-conference game this season that they have will be against a team with a winning record and he asked the various ai engines if this had ever happened before and they seem to think no but he's he wants to know is that has can you ever remember 11 non-divisional games against 500 or better teams well so what are they so they play the afc the nfc north i'm just trying to figure it out but from the email uh yeah they play they must play the nfc north and the nf yeah the afc west is that it no they play the they play the afc north and the nfc north afc north right right right okay all right well here's where here's where this argument falls apart tampa plays the chargers right i'm just looking at that yeah and the chargers i'm pretty sure are not going to have a 500 or over record so yeah you know this is this is really what you get for listening to carl f from winston they're at the bears the home for the rams they do have a really tough schedule they have some tough ones in there yeah we forgive your call speaking of the rams chargers rams a close game a one possession game for two hours and then herbert through every every week he throws the worst possible pick you've ever seen in your life he did it again today game flipped rams are up two scores games over chargers now have 27 straight possessions without a td which doesn't god real stat and um i so i wrote down i don't know who to blame for this chargers offense debacle between herbert and mcdaniel and i don't know what the right choice is and it reminds me the la mayor race where it's bass or ramen and nobody knows what to do because they're just the number half in your entire life it's like how could anyone be worse than bass it's like yeah she might be worse than bass and no literally i was at a party on saturday nobody knows who to vote for it's like right it's like uh do you want to fall out of a window or do you want to get hit by a car um i think the herbert mcdaniel thing is the same way i don't i don't know who to blame they run these misdirection things i've been joking about every week where starts at the left oh he whirls around and throws a bubble screen to the right oh the guy's getting tackled three yards behind the line he doesn't seem to know where his receivers are he's lost his confidence completely he just gets killed 20 times a game it just seems like they roll him right into a pass rusher and so who who's more to blame herbert or mcdaniel i died on the blame the fires i guess like i honestly i don't know like i haven't seen anything like this have you seen anything like this where a team that's got 10 wins or in any sport whatever they're supposed to win right up there to win their division and they just fold with their star quarterback who everyone wants to put in their top five they're dying to put in their top five before now. This is done. We can't do it anymore. He's terrible. Well, no, of course not. And all the other integral players are intact, and they just lose and lose and lose, and it's the same way. They always look good for like four minutes, and no one can take that away from them. They look good, and then it's gone, just flat. Maybe it's the worst game script we know. I took them plus six and a half for Ringer 107 and felt really good at it for the first hour. They're coming off a bye. It's like, oh, they have a little bit of identity, and then it just completely fell apart, and he just looks like deer in the headlights the entire game, and he doesn't really want to be there. Harbaugh's doing the Joe Biden. Right. Ah. You are so political in this segment. I really went for it. Joe wrote in. Joe Biden, stop doing my. Stop. Stop doing impressions of me, youngster. Somebody named Joe wrote in and wants to know if Justin Herbert should pull an Andrew Luck and just retire. He said he's made $156 million and he has a gorgeous fiance, and he's getting his head bashed in every Sunday. Just quit and go be like an influencer. Go do stuff with Mr. Beast. You're like, oh, here's Justin Herbert. See, ever showed you my Mr. Beast impersonation? That's it. Here's Justin Herbert. Wow. Justin's going to come in. But just maybe that's what he should do. There wouldn't be as much outrage as there was with Andrew Luck retiring. That's for sure. I think it would make a little more sense. People would be happy for him. Let's do this. When do they win? When do they win? They haven't won a game. Another social clip for Eduardo. Eduardo's going to be very busy. Texans at Chargers. I guess we'll get to the lines, but. Can I do Mr. Beast trying to guess what the next one is? You do Mr. Beast and Joe Biden and Karen Bass trying to guess the lines here. Texans at Chargers. Loss. Chargers at Ravens. I mean, come on. At Miami? At Vegas? Oh, you're way down in December here. So at Baltimore, they could win that one. Yeah, that's interesting. Two weeks, right? If it's Pignano or whoever. That's it. That's a night game, too. You know what's hilarious? They'll probably beat Houston next week. We're all going to have Houston in a tease next week. Oh, yeah, no doubt. Houston off a five. It'll be Herbert 375 yards. The nerds will be like, we're back. Herbert's back. We did it. Mr. Beast will be like. He still will. Yeah. Oh, speaking of the Ray, he's still alive. And you know who's more noticeable every week on the television? Aaron Donald. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just seems like he's pushing the line and he's looking more and more like Aaron Donald. They had this funny thing where he was trying to pick up a fumble today because, God forbid, the Chargers didn't turn the ball over. Yeah. And he couldn't pick it up and he kind of kicked it. Somebody kicked out of bounds. And it cut to Miles Garrett on an exercise bike just laughing. Did you see that? Yeah, I did. I did see it. Just like laughing his ass off, I guess, because Donald couldn't pick up the fumble. It's like, hey, motherfucker, it's week eight. You getting out there? How's the knee? Garrett. We traded bursts and three picks for you. Yeah. I'm not worried about them as much as that. I know we just went over it. You're right. But it is like Rams or Packers right now because you do run out of spots there. But I don't know. They kind of do the same thing. Like that Corum Williams thing. What? 129. Puka's. 11 for 80 is as bad as it's going to get for him. I think with the touchdown. Do you think they should replace Jim Harbaugh with Mr. Beast? It would just be Herbert incompletion. They cut to the sideline. He's just like super happy. Mr. Bolt. Yeah. Pat's Dolphins followed the script of every single Pat's loss of my lifetime in Miami for the first two plus hours. I was looking bad. Then we got this crazy. Spot on a fourth and fourth and like two to pop Douglas that it seemed like he was short, but I guess he wasn't. Goes to timeout, goes to commercial. And I'm like, holy fuck. Like Miami is going to drive down now. And this is like really danger time comes back and we have the ball. And then the game flips. Drake was incredible in the second half. We had all of our backup wide receivers. We have guys. We have guys in the offensive line. I don't know. I don't know where they came from. Like, I don't know if they're just pulling them from the street. We were on like our fifth and six backup guards and none of it mattered. And they beat Miami and bad weather started to rain again near the end. Drake may now 14 to know when the Pats are three plus favorites. I think you should apologize again. Oh, I'm not apologizing. I mean, he's got a, yeah, it was perfect. Pat's win Dolphins cover. That makes sense. He was great. I was all set for you to make the rain excuse, you know, as the doppler effect reports came in. But listen, that's an amazing asset to have that he could throw with accuracy. The long ball, 48 and a 43 yard touchdown. That's I wish every team could have it. And your defense was very good. You had five sacks. I think you allowed like 14 yards in the third quarter. Couple dropped picks that I felt like we could have had. Yeah, but it was 24 and 19. And for a moment, it felt like maybe we were going to give them the ball back. And I was like, God damn it. This, this, I've just seen this too. Many times these dumb losses in Miami, but they actually pulled it out. You're good. You're good. You're a top five and three top four team. I think top four or five team in the AFC. I think that we should be either six and two or five and three. So we have right around the right record game of the day was Raiders jets. As you mentioned, I do want to be before I go on, I was thinking of something and I should bring it up this week because it gets stale. If I don't Frable gets divorced, his wife decides she's had enough and he starts dating Jordan. Can Fandle put up odds on this? I mean, I may root for the Pats if that happens. Why are you doing this to me? You know, it happened. It could happen. What an F you would be to Belichick. You're thinking about it. Just put odds up on a fan. Little bill doesn't have to talk about it. I don't like this. Okay. Raiders jets. Fine. I will say I was very surprised by the Belichick Jordan Hudson announcement because she's been on the sidelines, like I would have assumed they would have broken up by now, but she's been traveling in the games and stuff. So that made me think that's for sure. Like we, uh, TMZ seemed pretty certain. Is he the kind of guy you break up with and you're good friends with them? Yeah, just, yeah. But still hang out, hang out with me, their business. They have a bunch of intertwining business relations. Oh, I see. That's right. It's a 21st century relationship. All right. Um, I can't believe those crazy kids couldn't make it Raiders jets. Vegas is four and four and minus 29 for the season. Yeah. Ashton. Genti is now a third down back. He had two carries today. He was the sixth pick in the draft. He's just not the running back anymore. Washington is Bowers seven for 92, two touchdowns. And I was waiting for the giant stadium turf to take them out for three hours. It just seemed every time he was pulling three guys along, it was like, oh my God, this could be the worst. And with all that said, great win for the Raiders. The game of the day with didn't start the day on my multiview, but it ended on the multiview. It was really good. Yeah. I thought I was going to kick it to the side, the same thing. And I counted our texts on our football chain. There were close to 75 and none about the Raiders jets, which before Denver KC was the game of the day. And, um, yeah, he had good quarterback play cousins, three touchdowns, two 47. Gino was good too. Very even the jets actually had a hundred more total yards. Braylon Allen's fun. When he gets loose, I wanted to make a case for the Bay. He gets to make the playoffs at almost four to one, but at 49 or Seahawks and at Broncos, the next three. So they've been dogshed against anybody who's decent. It's true. That is true. Is that Aaron Glenn's first coach fired music that I'm hearing in the background? Oh, really? Is that, is that what I'm hearing? If you're a jet, like I, we both know jets fans. We've reached, I've seen enough with Aaron Glenn as a, as a head coach. I think like it just, if it's a, if it's a, if it's a, if it's a close game, you just know they're going to lose. Yeah. I'm looking at their schedule on the, when this could actually happen. You better not hire Bob Chesney. Yeah. You get, you got to get him an interview. Um, UCLA, by the way, this could be aggregated. I don't care. UCLA is going to extend Bob Chesney. That's in the works. You think so? I know. So, oh, you put in a call. Oh, okay. Nice. But the Bob Chesney extension will happen. Yeah. So all the UCLA fans are starting to panic that because they're, nobody went to the last game and the Rose bowl is not packed enough. Some big university is going to scoop him or an NFL team. He's not. You got to go to the Rose bowl. You got to go. I went already. I saw, I saw them. I saw them like their third game of the year. Oh, you did go. That's right. That's right. No, I'm going to go to the USC game. Can you announce that there's going to be a rewatchables there to get people seated in the stands or something? I don't know. We're doing a good fellas. We watch section, section. - And people are like, oh, wait, there's a football game going on. This is nice, too. You said it was irrelevant for 20 years with football. Like, this isn't going to happen overnight. No, I'm with you. But I just, I feel like. They were fifth in the coaches' poll. They're fun. And they're 8-0 against the spread, which is all I care about. But they, um. This is just something that's going on with college football. Penn State didn't fill up. FSU, same kind of thing. Oklahoma didn't have fans. It's very sad. It's tough when the stadium's not right there. Yeah. Is Penn State on the campus? I don't even know. Well, they have. When it's cooking, it's cooking with the whiteout and everything. I have, as you know, I didn't really have a college football team until this year. So I've been really into it. And I've enjoyed the polls and finding out on Sundays you figure somebody loses, so you move up. Right. I just want to throw my hat in the ring for how stupid the poll system is. What do you want? What should it be? God bless UCLA. They're really good. Chesney's one of the best coaches in the country. There's no way they're one of the five best teams in college football. No, you don't know that. Well, they've ascended because people dropped below them. But now this is heading toward them playing Michigan, USC, potentially the championship game in the league. And, you know, your losses come near the end and then you get dinged because they happen at the end instead of in the beginning. And this is fucking stupid. But where are you supposed to put them? I mean, if they lose to Michigan or USC, they'll free fall. Believe me. They're. They're dying to drop them. But this is how you do it. I would just not have rankings. I would have, like, a circle. I would have, like, a 12-team circle, but I would not rank them. I'd be like, they are now in the circle. Maybe Mr. Beast could do this. This is his next giveaway. There you go. It's. Look, they play Minnesota next week and it's going to be a really hard game. Minnesota's good this week. Yeah, Minnesota almost won this week. I can't believe how much college football I'm watching. I just. I feel bad because I feel like the sport is, like, declining now just as you're getting in between, like. I don't know. It just sucks that the prize should be. Yeah, we have to win a title. We have to win a conference. And it's just. Those things don't seem to matter as much to players because they're getting paid and because a conference championship doesn't matter and all sorts of shit. I was at. We went over to my friend Howard's house because he was having a Halloween thing. Trick-or-treaters. Yeah. So we went over yesterday and he was watching on the multi-view the USC game. USC was beating. I'm blanking. He was upset. Ohio State. Ohio State. Yeah. And then Belichick was battling Miami. So he had that in the multi-view. I immediately made him turn off the multi-view and put on the fourth quarter of Game 7 of the WNBA Finals. Oh, no. And he thought it was a bit and then he realized it wasn't. And then he had a good time. Wait. It was the first seventh game in WNBA history. We had to watch it. You can't put that in the multi-view, right? Yeah. That's the one thing that sucks with the. Well, we ended up. We figured out how to finally put it in the multi-view so that everyone was happy. But then I kind of wanted the big screen for the last couple minutes. Gabby Williams was on fire in the second half. Right. And then we got to see Kathy Engelbert, the worst commissioner of all time, come out and present the trophy. It was great stuff. It's like, thank you, Val Kilmers. You really did it this year. Say thank you. I'm sorry I scheduled game six at 1230 on Thursday. Game six is in my basement next year. But man, you got to hand it to Golden State, though. They've had the team two years. Right. The uniforms were great. They patched together these cast-offs. They sold out every game. They stole a title. It was amazing stuff. It was a miracle. You should do a documentary on it for HBO. I dare you. Well, as it's happening, I'm like, holy shit. Golden State's about to win WNBA. USC's about to beat. Ohio State. And Belichick's going to beat Miami. Yeah, that's close. He couldn't carry his end of the bargain. But WNBA finals, pretty good. Did you win or lose money in WNBA? Not bad. No, I lost the series before, so I didn't bother. Golden State. They were like the Brewers. They were just in close games. They just got it done. And that was that. Are you going to win money when Aaron Glenn is the first coach fired or no? It typically happens a couple weeks after we cross them off, right? Yeah. All right. This could happen. They had 439 yards today. They lost. He's supposed to be a defensive coach who brings in a defensive identity. They gave up 66 points in the last two weeks to Cousins and Willis. They got 142 rushing yards from Allen. And they got 147 receiving from Mitchell and I think 90 from Wilson. And they lost. They had the lead late against Kirk Cousins. They lost. Will F. wrote in. He wants it to say Aaron Glenn instead of Aaron Glenn. He's the shittiest coach in the league. I'm a longtime listener, longer time suffering Jets fan. He may be the worst we've had. Wow. Now, they had Rich Cotite. Wow. Rich Cotite was the worst you had. Yeah. I think. I'm trying to think who else. So, Walt Michaels is all right. Cotite. The man genius wasn't anything to write home about. Right. Yeah. They had a few. They had a few in there. And then at the Chiefs and they played the Bills. So, it's not going to get much better next couple weeks. Well, it's time. We got to talk about your stupid team. Oh, I thought. I thought. I was like, there's like a 6% chance that he forgot. And then we could just do guess the lines and that'll be that. I was saving it. The words Minshew Magic never dies were said by an announcer during this game. That might be true. I thought Minshew Magic was dead. It was not. Why does Arizona own the Cowboys? What is this? You predicted this on the Ringer Wise Guys show this week. I did. I predicted an upset. And then I was like, all right, I never pick upsets. I'll either be right about that or I'll be my team will have one. But you were pretty adamant that this is Arizona usually beats Dallas. Weird things happen. And I like this line's too high. And this is stupid. Eight out of the last nine. And we just don't match up with them for whatever reason. It used to be Kyla Murray just kills us because he wanted Jerry World all the time. We want a high school. We want a high school championship there, whatever, everything. So now you have, it's weird because you had Brissette in there and he was awful. Like he was missing passes. Like you will wonder when they were going to bring Minshew in. And I'm not going to lie. Like halfway through the game, I'm like, all right, we're going to be four and four. We play the Colts next week. Oh, you started schedule math in your head? Only because those two teams might be the only ones we could beat. So I was like, we'll be five and four. I'll be in it. It'll be a meaningful Thanksgiving. Bad division. Yeah. Dumb Jerry trade coming up. Exactly. Yeah. Some new guy. I don't know. We're going to gun the team who's coming. It's all adding up. And then we fall apart. Like Tyler Algier turns into Barry Sanders. F and Gardner Minshew comes in. I think it was 30 to 13. Comes in, comes in, wins a game. I just thought, and I'm like, you know what? I think Jerry enjoys the torture. I think these old owners, they usually get tortured. They go through some S and M thing at the whatever. Apples of orchard, whatever the hell it is. But he doesn't hire a GM. He doesn't hire capable coaches. He makes sure the defense is an abject embarrassment week after week. And people ask me like, was this the worst loss? And I don't know. And I don't think I have to answer because in three weeks, there's going to be another worst loss. And he tolerates it, even though he wouldn't tolerate it in any other business of his that he started to make a billion dollars. You know, like imagine if producer Cal like was screwing up this much and you like Cal, you know, I know week three, guess the lines. There was a hissing noise in the audio. And then in week six, I could hear a bird chirping effect. And then in week eight, Sal and I sounded like we were on helium and you didn't catch it. But you know what? I'm going to keep you around. No, it doesn't happen like that. Why do we have these same shitheads? Fire the coaches, fire the fricking defense, fire Cal, do it. We suck and we deserve it all. Jerry, can we keep Cal? I love Cal. All right. We can keep them. But enough. I don't understand why. I don't understand. He puts up with this. Why does he put up with it? Is it going to be funnier when you hire Trey Aikman in like a month as a head coach? No, to run your team. Oh, yeah. Well, he at least shows some emotion, I think. And he certainly does to the to the behind the scenes producers. It's proper emotion, I think, based on what's going on. You know, Andrew Marchand wrote a great piece about Buck and Aikman this weekend, and he had the back and forth of what happened with them. Yeah. And with like actual quotes of what they said to each other, it made me wonder if they were miked. And because these were like actual quotes from each side when they were not getting along. And I wonder if they were miked and somebody wrote down the quotes. I don't know. Why didn't I catch this? What was it? He wrote a big feature about them on Friday about when Aikman and Buck had the blow up. And Aikman was like, I can't believe you did that to me. And all these quotes back and forth when they got mad at each other. And Buck was saying, you've been yelling at. Our producers and all the all the stuff. It was all all all stuff from the argument. I was like, Jesus. All right. But anyway, he's going to be your next jam. Fine. Next. Next. First and only. I have a couple of things on this. One is the Cowboys hadn't blown a 14 point fourth quarter lead at home in 203 games. This was terrible. You were 2 0 2 0 and 1 with a 14 point lead at home. Tomlin at halftime did this whole crazy thing about how the Cowboys are blinkers. Did you see this? see it no he said they're blinkers when when it gets tight they blink and he's like you got to remove their eyelids it was a tomlin thing i actually kind of liked it but he said you guys are blinkers all right stop stop blinking so much okay you see the uh it gets tense and just a lot of blinking you need mr beast in there the the funny thing is so minchu they scored 28 minchu comes in they scored 28 points in the last 16 minutes you say this funny thing i bet i don't find this funny but go ahead yeah minchu was 17 for 23 for 188 three touchdowns uh no interceptions ryland misses the pat right to win the game when it's going to be 31 30 with no time left and it's going to go to ot and i thought you're going to win and i thought it was going to be one of the funniest wins ever and uh no arizona went in it's so funny because we were so focused you and i on the bangles game i only halfway was paying attention to the my cowboys blowing it otherwise i might not be here if i had to like sit through that actually watch play by play yeah i mean i watched it all but it just didn't really occur to me that they were going to blow it and then you know i i just hate this this is now my number one pet peeve winning the toss and kicking off in overtime you got a tired shitty shitty defense i know they didn't score on the first drive but you could be damn sure they were going to score on the second drive if they didn't i don't know why you don't take the ball in overtime the new rules i think it's actually a fireball offense yeah take the ball first if you score whatever and like you come back and they score then you get the ball the third time unless they go for two either way you put more of an impetus on them and the only thing you have to do is basically not fuck up you know everybody talks about you know everybody talks about it's the same thing with like going for two which you and i are we dug our heels with this when you're down nine or what was it down no no it's down 14 these teams right that it happened maybe the monday night game last monday you're down 14 you score now you're down eight you go for two and you don't get it it's like well now now you have to do it again and it all evens out it's like how does that make sense yeah it's and they all say the same thing and they said the same thing about kicking off in overtime it's you're you're it's you're paying for information that's what you're doing you want to see how much you need in the next drive and it doesn't take into account the crowd is dead if you miss the two-point conversion your defense sucks you know all this other stuff it doesn't take you're paying for information like all right you're paying too much i think for this dumb information it was carolina that did it it was thursday night yeah yeah it was 27 19 i think yeah and they went for the two point they have a five foot nine quarterback right and they're on the road it's like definitely go for the two point that makes a ton of sense they don't get it but um the analytics say you should go for it i don't get it at all i will never understand it i think it's fucking stupid just get just if you want to go for two do it the second time after if you score two touchdowns against a more tired defense and you cut it to one and instead of kicking a pat just go for the win that makes more sense to me because that defense has probably been on the field longer but to just do it was like well if you get down six with four minutes left then you could win the game okay cool i could win the game at the end when i score a touchdown i just want to stay within seven here's the part of analytics isn't there supposed to be a number that shows us that this works because i feel like this never works i feel like the team never gets the two-point conversion well it also doesn't keep into account like yeah i get doing it if i have like the lions but if i'm the panthers i'm not you know and i'm in short yardage i don't really love my my situation you know like if the patriots did i'd be like all right that makes a little more sense i got drake may i can roll them out i can do a qb draw i've got romandre like i have hunter henry yeah i still wouldn't do it but i do think it's team dependent um well minshu magic never dies and dac prescott has a no trade class i looked that up today yeah oh they're not getting rid of him yeah they're keeping him you keeping the coach son of a bitch no man we get we get this these same guys over and over i mean he's such a jerry guy and he's so you know ineffective i i don't i don't know what i don't know what to say anymore honestly but i thought you did a good job i enjoyed your rant yeah well bangles titans would have gotten a similar score or ran from me the the bangles you put them in a teaser parlay and you should just know the first hour is going to be hell it's like being on a plane with a crying baby you see the crying baby like this is next hour is going to suck till this baby falls asleep right and that's the bangles you're just this is going to suck for an hour you're gonna do dumb things burrow here oh here's the dumb burrow pick there go oh now here's the dumb fumble oh there's the shot of zach taylor with a stupid look on his face oh here are the announcers getting all excited and talking about how the titans were huge underdogs like i fucking know all the check marks can we get to the part when burrow just scores every time he has the ball and then that's what happens and they get three straight touchdowns and they win and i don't why do they do that to us i i really don't know we're just watching tv on a sunday what do we do we have it on the last leg of our parlays which we miraculously won saturday and it's the last thing that's holding over for a win and that that's what we did i had them in multiple 10 every teases yeah everything yeah yeah yeah my kid was checking his fantasy scores he came back from his little league tournament and he says uh wow joe burrow had 53 fantasy points i was like yeah he was terrible and he says he says huh what what do you mean i said trust me he threw three interceptions to the same dude it's like uh like getting your lunch money stolen by the same kid three different times at recess like he was terrible and then he was awesome for an hour for an hour but it was against the titans it's unbelievable what what are his stats that he's now third in the mvp race did you see this yeah i saw that here's the irony in this game which probably nobody watched but us and anyone else who bet on the bengals the titans felt like they were going to win the game before overtime and they were near midfield and the bengals didn't really do anything against them all day and they made cam ward who i think is terrible look as probably as competent as ever look and then he takes one of the worst sacks of the entire season oh yeah on third down he just goes backwards 15 yards and gets sacked and we go to overtime and we're going to win the game and that's it the bengals when the bengals score with like a minute 15 left i'm like to just to tie it uh i was like why are they set why even celebrate that why even celebrate it you know it's this is then they kick it in the end zone yeah give it give them the ball in the 35 one first down there midfield that's what happens first downs away from uh winning this game but we got super super lucky on that tennessee five losses this year by six points or less leading the league hmm It's not awful and i honestly i don't think miami's awful either like these are the chargers are worse than both of those teams the chargers as soon as there's adversity they just they tank they're done they're out of the game but minnesota miami and tennessee both at least like try to throw some punches i do like teams that put up a fight in the second half and you're right yeah chargers do not and these other teams uh do like pollard was really good in that bengals game and so is dk like yeah you know but the titans had a lot of guys out too right they just they tate out and they just they i i don't know i wasn't afraid of them scoring points and then they did they put i i have chosen to not take the bengals seriously at all in any capacity and if they get to any sort of playoff situation i will be excited to bet against them jags colts is our last one and uh my only note was i would love to uh see carly's notes for that game okay what is she doing she's wtf jesus i need new qb maybe she's handwriting various trade offers like this is john taylor he's the least dysfunctional player in our organization please save this man's life all i asked for in return is a a second a fourth and a sixth for a seventh pick xo carly there was a big conspiracy theory that they already have a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the a deal with the seahawks and that mcdonald's is going to be a deal with the seahawks and that and uh though jags wide receivers are now the fantasy is just done and parker washington i just i think he had one catch today that guys are scoring touchdowns in the jags that i've never heard of and uh the only guy who seems to be doing well is trevor lawrence well brian thomas jr actually caught a touchdown pass and it was i think that was his only reception yeah yeah they're weird one thing to flag on this uh the jags got banged up in that game including the d line so against baltimore we haven't done the lines yet but uh they're they're a little banged up going into that one right yeah uh okay before we get to the uh guess the lines Nash from New York City wrote in. He loved "Parent Corner" about my dad's TV habits. That's good. And he said, "Watching the late CBS game today, I saw again how heavy their ads are for procedural dramas. You and Cousin Sal asked each other if this would happen to you both as you age, us watching those shows." I think you will. "I'd love for your Sunday Night Pod to eventually evolve into Guess the Plot, where you have to guess between the cops, lawyers, perps, crime, and location of the shows, and then the crossover events would be like the parlay." Oh, that's good. I thought we'd test it out today. I went and looked at the Wednesday lineup on CBS. Chicago Med, that episode is titled, "Baptism by Fire." What do you think that one's about? "Baptism by Fire" is a priest, it's a collection. They're collecting insurance money after baptizing kids and then causing, I don't know, what is it, what? That's not. The description is, "Suspicions abound when a young injured boy and three burn victims are brought into the E.D." Semicolon. "Sergeant Platt visits Gaffney to probe a cold case." Semicolon. "Frost gets some news." So I guess Frost might be the baptism by fire. Anyway, that's Chicago Med. What's the baptism part? I thought they were a little more clever with that. I don't know. I think it's just, it's a cool title. They have the word fire, so they have to do, okay. "Chicago Fire" is called "300." So I don't know if it's the 300th episode or maybe that's where the house is. Oh, this is a bowling scandal where a guy claims to have bowled a perfect game and the investigators look into it. That's not it, you're 0 for 2. Oh, okay. "Firehouse 51 responds to a complex hostage situation. Cruz continues to make strides and Chief Tomlin gives Severide an impossible task." There's a Chief Tomlin? Chief Tomlin arrests a guy for blinking too much. It says it's season 15, episode five. So maybe this is the 300th episode. Wow. So out of those two, which one are you more excited for? Chicago Med or Chicago Fire? Out of those descriptions. Neither, but the second one, I think. Chief Tomlin? Yeah, I think the Chief Tomlin, yeah. All right, and then Chicago PD, 10 o'clock. It's called "Dark Imaginings." What do you think that's about? "Dark Imaginings." Well, that's when the wife is on vacation and I'm. No, I don't know, I don't know what that is. It just says, "Burgess takes on a risky undercover assignment while struggling to feel settled in her new home." Oh. That's not doing it for me. No, no. So I think the winner is Chicago Fire this week. Yeah. If Chicago Fire is minus 150 for best episode of the week. But your dad watches all of them. He doesn't need- Oh, three in a row. Yeah, he's- No, no. He's- So that happened. Michael Mann shot himself at a shooting range. Yeah. I'm sure you saw that. What the hell? Yeah, so that happened as well. Plaxico. And then I caused a ruckus on Friday with talking about that the new Lakers owner group didn't have the money yet. Yeah. And then they put out all these different pieces about they do have the money, but they didn't actually say they had the money. I see both sides. I think they're confident they are gonna get the money, but I've talked to too many people who said they're still looking to find the remaining money. To pay $12.5 billion. Well, who you've talked to. That's what everyone wants to know. Tell me who you've talked to. I've talked to people. I think they probably will get the money, but I don't think they have it yet because too many people have been shown the deck and offered it and offered a chance to get in. Do you think- So we'll see what happens. All right, you've seen the deck. So- I haven't seen the deck. Stop pretending. The only thing I saw- You know what's in the deck. Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be the Lakers. We own the Lakers. You would say this is a pass. 12.5 billion? I mean, you're a businessman. Yeah, at this point. Seems a little high. Yeah. I'd kind of want to own my own arena for 12.5. Week nine, Guest Alliance. Anyway, I stand by what I said. Thursday night. Jack? Wait, we're three, three, and two? Is that where- Yeah, I was killing you, and then Oxy Cousin came in- There we go. And won the last two, and you've been on fire. People are worried that you're just, Now that you've been on fire with the picks and guest alliance, like this is just going to be the new you. It's like Bradley Cooper, the limitless drugs, like the kidney stones will be gone. You'll still be like, Oh no, I got it. I think it's going to be like a process now. Who was the breaking bad character? Like I'm going to be on so much of this oxy that I'm not going to be able to speak or the, the, uh, the guy that hit would hit the bell. You can be like, all right, Sal, the, uh, the Bengals at the Falcons. I'm like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. All right. Sal says six and a half. What was his name? Sal Salamanca or something. I guarantee Netflix won't. That'll be when Netflix is like, we're good. You guys are on your own again. Jags home. Oh no. Ravens home for the Jags. So I I'm revoking my initial guests on this. Yeah. And I'm going to say Jags minus three and a half. Oh, wow. I thought this one would be the one I lose because I said five and a half and it's eight and a half. So in Baltimore, in Baltimore. Yeah. On a Thursday, Jacksonville minus eight and a half. So that means the third string Fagnano is in for sure. Joey, our guy, Joey F. Yeah. That makes sense, right? Yeah. I guess it does. I never know what to do with these Thursday games. Cause it's such a, and the Jags are banged up. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Well, Bengals and Falcons are playing in Spain. This one I had exactly. I had Bengals by three. It's just at three and a half. So I get that one. Oh, Oxy cousin. Here we go. Here we go. Fucking beating Sunday marquee game. Patriots home for the Packers. It's a good one. Really good game. I like 10, 10 wins between these two. Two teams, two good quarterbacks. So is this a Fox game or a CBS game? You think, um, well, we get Brady for this. Oh, it's probably a Fox. Yeah. Is it, uh, does it say on there? Oh yeah. Fox. I wonder if this is, it's going to be Tom Brady. Oh, he's got to do it. Yeah. Let's go. Brady's been great this year. A plus. I like when he gets excited on plays and steps on Burkhardt, but it's not like in a bad way, it's actually like adds to the excitement. It's really good. He's been great. I have the pats minus three and a half. Uh, what happens here? Do we split this? I had one and a half. It's two and a half. Yep. We split it. We split it because two and a half is between three and a half and one. Okay. All right. Yeah, I got it. I think this team is good. This Packers team. We didn't talk about it because it was Thursday game. The only thing they don't do is run the ball. I've, I've, I love everything else they do. Honestly. Yeah. It's weird. Quarterbacks. It's good. They, they, they get, they hit the long pass. It's a similar to your team actually, but yeah, his guys drop a lot too. Yeah. I was going to say their offense would be even better if golden didn't drop to a game, but so that there's a Jacobs piece to this that I don't think he's playing in this game. Oh man. Cause all that stuff came out about him this weekend. I just assume he's probably pretty messy. Yeah. And I didn't think he was good on Thursday night. I mean, he, he had a bunch of carries, but didn't really do anything anyway. So that'll be a helpful to the people. Patriots Patriots are pretty banged up though. I mean, this is this AJ Brown thing. Yeah. First round pick for this guy. And then Elliot Wolf, the GM, even though Vrabel runs a team, it's like, oh yeah, we knew, we knew about his degenerative knee condition, degenerative knee condition. I don't remember that one coming up in the press conference. Right. Right. He's had two different injuries. He looked terrible in the bears game. It didn't look like he could run. They decided. They decided to smartly sit him this week, but I don't, he drops passes too. Is that, does that have a lot to do with the knee? I could just seem like he wasn't. And then Hunter Henry, Hunter Henry got hurt today. That was bad. He had a foot injury and their offensive lines a little shaky, but the defense is good. This would be a good game. Watch the balls. I only had one Niners Raiders. Little Bay area battle. It's in San Francisco. I have the Niners minus seven. Wow. I went again. Eight and a half for me and it's nine and a half. Oh, that's too high. Disagree with that. Well, Raiders can throw the ball and play from behind. On the other hand, the Raiders haven't come close to beating any good team. Raiders could Raider Niners off a buy, right? Wait, the Niners in place. Niners off a buy. Yeah. They had some extra time against the electromagnetic building. Right. Right next to that thing. Fairly watchable. I got five. Chiefs Jets. Could this be Aaron Glenn's last game? Maybe we'll never have an Aaron Glenn's last game. Chiefs Jets in Kansas City. Chiefs coming off a nice little choke job today. I have Chiefs minus seven. I said seven and a half and it is nine and a half. I'm boxing you out. I'm done killing me. Kevin McHale and the shit out of you here. This is nice. I got to be honest. I didn't put a lot. a lot of time to guess the lines this week. - Why? - I forgot to send them the Gahow then we were having Ben's birthday dinner and I was doing it on my iPhone as I was How many birthday dinners you have for Ben? Well, this was the, today's his actual birthday. Oh, okay. So we just my wife made food and we had a cake, but I kind of slapped together my guess the line guesses and you can really see the results. Yeah, I mean, did you spend a lot of time to my fans? You spent a lot of time coming up with excuses or? Well, honestly I didn't think I'd win today because Oxy Cousin is one of the great gambling forces. I mean, you got to blame your kids for losing guess the lines. That's sad. That's as low as it gets. I think no, got to do what you got to do Chiefs minus nine and a half dying to be thrown in a seven point tease. Yeah, they can't blow this Giants Eagles in Philly. Oh, I bet I, I sent this pick in before I saw the game. God change it. I don't care. I'm going to I'm going to bump it up. I'm going to bump it up to two and a half. Wait, why don't I say it? I'm going to Giants at Philly. I have Giants minus two and a half at Philly. It is we split it. It's plus three and I said three and a half, right? Yeah. Yeah. Nice little spot for JJ. Oh, you're going to beat me. Rams at Washington. I feel like they play every year and I feel like we've already seen this game. It's in Washington. I hit this exact. Try to get this exact. This is all the makings of Rams fucking over everybody in their brother game and losing. I have Rams minus four. Five and a half, which is what I had. Wow, this is just easy. I know. It's Ben's fault. He shouldn't have turned 19. Poor Ben. Broncos at Carolina. I think this is going to be yet another home dog. So how many is this now? There's a lot. So third in a row. I tic-tac this. Broncos minus one and a half. I said three. It's two and a half. Wow. You're going to shut me out. I think. Did you have one? No, you're right. Oh, that'd be great. I don't think I've ever done that. Jacoby told me to let you win every week because we're both worried about your physical and emotional. I don't care. I'll take the pity wins. I don't care what form they come in. Kid, did we? Did you beat Clever? Yeah, we beat him. Seahawks Cardinals. I think I got this wrong too. It's in Seattle. Who knows? Jonathan Taylor might be on the Seahawks. I have a Seahawks minus six and a half. Oh, man. Wow. Simmons. I had ten and a half. And that's what it is. I told you it wasn't my week. Cardinals beat the Cowboys and that's it. I put no thought into these. Don't forget. Can I run the table here? This would be fun. All right. How many more? We got five more. Poop Fecta. Six more. Yep. Cowboys at the Colts. Oh, you had to ruin it. I threw this right in the Vegas on Cowboys minus four and a half. That's what I had to. It's five and a half. Stupid. Stupid ass team. What a nice chance this would have been. Lions at Miami. Golf outdoors. You don't like your pick for this. I did okay. I have Lions minus six. I said seven and a half. It's seven. Let's go. Jesus. Let's go. Minus seven. Oh, I hit this one. Saints-Browns. This is where you got me. In New Orleans. I tic-tacked it. Saints minus one and a half. I said one and a half too. But I said the Browns minus one and a half. But you're right. It's three. It's Saints minus three. Is that right, though? That's right. Five and three team. I know the Browns aren't great, but five and three on the road. Saints off a bye. They have the rookies coming back, Tyson, who I've had on two fantasy teams just hogging a roster spot for two solid months. Isn't this a poor man's version of what happened with the line between the Vikings and Lions? Like the team with the better record was on the road. I don't know. It shouldn't be three. Texans at the Chargers. I have a PSA after we guess these lines. I put this in the Vegas zone as well. Texans minus four and a half. Yeah, you got that one. That's exactly what it is. I said two. All right. It's time for my PSA. Go ahead. We all love gambling. We love football. Every week is a special week. Thursday, Sunday, Monday, the Europe games. And sometimes it's fun to either pick the games or have wagers on them. Please don't wager on the Texas Chargers game. Don't put the Texans in a parlay. Don't tease the Chargers backwards. Don't do anything. Teases, parlays. Don't assume you know what's going to happen. Don't make a case for either team. Don't feel safe at any time. Don't bet this during the game. Completely stay away. Thank you. Sign off. I'm Bill Simmons. I'm Bill Simmons. This was Chicago Hope. I don't know. Yeah. Hashtag FD partner. I approve that message. I'm not taking this. Please. Who out of the Ringer 107 crew, who is taking this one? The only thing, as I look at it, I would probably get stuck with the Chargers money line again as my man's best bet as the underdog. And then I expect to lose. Sunday night. Pretty good game. Chicago Bears home for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baker Mayfield, who had zero completions today. I have Bears minus four and a half. I got it exactly. Five and a half. I mean, I have a Bears Super Bowl ticket. Yeah. Yeah. Well, then you got to like the Bears here. I have them at 14 to one and it's 10 to one now. That's fun. I think they are the best team. In the NFC. You just cursed them for tomorrow, but well, but that's the thing. The team that you think is the best team in the week eight is never ultimately the best team. But right now, I think they're the best bet. Monday night, Bill's Vikings in Minnesota. We have no idea who the quarterback for the Vikings is going to be. Crowd will be crazy. Crowd will be a little restless the moment it starts going badly for the Minnesota offense. I didn't want to go to three in this. I did Bill's minus two and a half. We split this. I said three and a half. It is three. So I win the week. This is good, though. You're winning now. Wow. Four, three, two after nine weeks. Nice. Yeah. Both six and one. This should be a bigger deal this game. No? It's a pretty good game. Did we you saw Larry Zonka? Remember the 72 Dolphins? I sent it to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's doing the champagne and like I didn't even occur to me that he was sweating out the 6-0 Vikings start. Was he really thinking Kyler Murray was going to go 20-0? I don't know what he's thinking. I don't know if any of these guys are doing any thinking, but what is this going to look like in like eight years? God willing, are they going to be doing like intravenously? They all die? IV tubes feeding them champagne? This is intro. They're getting up there. 72. So if you were 25 and 72, 54, best bet, you're like 80, right? Yeah, there's got it. There'll be three guys left in five years, but it'll be like the backup nose tackle will be like, yeah, hang on, fellas. Parody's here. So long ago, 1972. I saw this thing today. That guy Kevin Gallagher, who's got a good Twitter feed. He had a thing about Don Shula's return to Baltimore after Don Shula in 1970 left controversially left Baltimore to go with the Miami basically did the Pat Riley before I rally went to Miami. He got a small piece of the team became the GM and coach of Miami. Everyone in Baltimore was outraged by it. He went back and they beat him and he was like being booed the whole game. And I was thinking like, I thought I knew everything about football. I didn't. I somehow had forgotten that story or whatever. And then you start thinking of all this stuff from 60s, 70s, all these great people that we don't talk about anymore. The 70s Dolphins going undefeated and you realize that none of this stuff matters. You just die and go away. Wow. Yeah. That's another. How many great times to see you in the offense. Someday Don Shula it was a big deal in 1970 that he left Baltimore. Now nobody cares. That's why you got to get on this Val Kilmer documentary for Golden State because eventually in three days, no one's going to care. Yeah. Joe wrote in wondering he didn't feel like there was an obvious Chris Myers game of the week on the schedule this week. And I disagree because Saints Browns looks perfect. Oh, for this week coming up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Saints Browns looks great. I think Broncos Panthers feels a little Chris Myers ish. We're not caring about if one's Fox or CBS, just any. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That would be a CBS game. Probably. Yeah. Saints Brown seems perfect. Oh, would Browns, but the Browns would be the he should get his shot at one of these overseas games. I think. Just send him over? Yeah. Let him travel. Yeah. Seahawks cards. Does that feel Chris Myers-y at all to you? See the world. I'm telling you, any Cowboys, Cowboys Colts, let him have at it. Parent corner, what do you got? Real quick, my son, the Pittsburgh fan, walks in coming back from the bar, right? He watches with all his Pittsburgh fans holding his terrible towel and the Steelers jersey and cap. And he sees me after he seemed demolished the Browns. He sees me distraught because that's right when the field goal went through. And he apologizes. Like, he looks at me, he's like, as if our podcast was canceled or something. He felt bad that he was the big winner and I lost. And I laughed. That was the first moment I laughed. I was like, it's fine. You always want better for your kids, so it's good. Congratulations on the Steelers. But my real parent corner, a little more serious, involves my father who turned 85 in August. Wow. Vinny. Yeah. Big Vin had some heart issues and so we convinced him to sell his boat, which he loved taking out, right? So, he wants to sell it, but he gets it, he has to fix it up a little bit, right? And, he gets it, he finds this guy, the harbor recommended him or something to do the handiwork on it. Uh-oh. And he gives him all this money to fix the boat in like February. And then he asks about it in March and every week the guy's like, yeah, give me another week. I'll get it to you. And this goes on for months. This goes on to, like, June. And then, like, finally the guy's like, yeah, well, you can come see it. I mean, you'll see that. I'm still working on it. So, he gives my father an address and it's an abandoned lot. And then he stops taking my father's calls. And now, like, I have to get involved. And now the cops are involved. And, you know, they do what they can, but they can't locate this guy because now he's not answering his phone, right? And he's not anywhere. So, so they think that he might either be chartering the boat or he sold it, you know? So, at this point, like, I write it up. I'm like, all right, this has got to be an insurance thing. This is a stolen boat. So, I'm going to get involved because I know he's going to have to do a lot of paperwork and stuff. So, I submit all these, you know, you have to put it in the file. They send you a link and everything. And we submit everything, every communication, everything. And, well, like, it's stolen at this point. And we put the police report in there. And the insurance guy's like, well, this is an embezzlement case. It says possible embezzlement. I was like, okay, whatever. He's like, well, it's not theft because he entrusted the guy because he gave it to him. It wasn't like the guy stole it from the slip. You know what I mean? Like, he went in there. He entrusted him with it. And then it was taken. I was like, yeah, but at some point, a reasonable person would see that this is stolen, right? Like, even though he entrusted him, like, if we're talking five years from now, you're still going to say this boat's not stolen and he wouldn't give it back? We can't buy it? It's like, yeah, we can't cover him because he's only covered for theft. So, my father's hot. Like, he is beside himself. Like, worse than today when the Cowboys decided to chose to kick in overtime. So, and I'm worried about him now. And my wife is. And he's capable of like, I don't know what. Like, if you read on TMZ a cousin Sal's father's a suspect in a manslaughter case, it's probably true. I'm telling you now. So, I don't know what the fuck the bank or do at this point. The cops have been pretty helpful, but that just stinks. And he wants his money back and this will haunt him for the rest of his life, which I don't know how long it is, but it's, it's freaking crazy. It's, it's crazy. It's brought us together. We're closer for it, but only in our outrage. So. Wow. Yeah. I can't believe that story. I know. I'll tell you what. That should be Manhattan Beach PD on NBC on Wednesday night. That'd be a long write-up, but. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it sucks, man. God damn it. Poor 85-year-old Vinny. You know what? I'm going to give this fucker's name out. It's Jesus Ramirez. And, I don't know. It's tough to locate out here, probably. It's like finding a John Smith in colonial Virginia, but fuck this guy. That's terrible. Stealing from an 85-year-old man. Awful. Poll results, by the way. Uh, should we cross off the Cowboys? Yes, 56%. No, 44%. Oh. It's coming. Parent Corner. Uh, my daughter's soccer career is over. Oh, no. This is it. They, they lost the last game that would have gotten. It was the year from hell. All these injuries. She was hurt. She's got something wrong with her foot. She's had for six weeks. She's getting an MRI this week. Uh, of course, of course, her kicking foot, but it was just one of those years. Everything went wrong. Wow. And, uh, and that's it. So, a 17-year odyssey. I need a new something now. Yeah. I don't know. I, am I going to have to coach now? What do I need? I need something. I need a side, side youth slash high school slash college sports something. I just, this was really fun. I had a great run. My daughter was, how was she with it? Is she okay that it's over? You know, it was really sad today. She was just kind of like, wow, like this is done. Right. This was like such a huge part of my life for, you know, basically her entire life. And now it's like, okay, now, now what happens? All right, I'll figure out the next couple of things to be. She's going to start playing tennis. She's got to see what's wrong with her foot first, but, um, but she's going to just throw herself on other stuff. But yeah, I figured it out. I know what this could be for you. I know, I know it. It's so easy. Coach like an eighth grade basketball team or something? forget about coach, whatever. You just, you could just go watch. Adopt? Adopt a kid? That, that couldn't hurt either. You could watch Ben play special, teams for UCLA. It's just, just, he owes you. Chesney, Kenny Chesney owes you. Whatever his name is. He fricking owes you. Why not? You don't think I can coach like a eighth grade basketball team out here or something? I need something. I need some extra thing. I think you could do that. Yeah, yeah. I might do that. I don't know if you have the time for that though. You're busy. Yeah, that'd be, time would be a problem. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Just like if you observe, UCLA plays once a week. So the other option is, Zoe could, potentially, maybe become a coach of a team. Oh, that's good. Maybe that's like, she becomes an assistant on a, you know, start out. But I don't know if she wants to do that. I think I'm just done too. I think it's just, that's it. Yeah. Just never, four years in college, never, that never came together with the right, the team the year before she got there, made the playoff, made the actual Div 3 playoffs. Right. And this one, they could just never have a season where everything came together. Poor kid, that sucks. I mean, it makes you think when people retire at like 30 and 35, it's like, shit. It did make me think, like, granted, she's a D3 soccer player, but it did make you think like this void you get when it's finally over. You can understand why these people are crying on the, you know, at the press conference when they're announcing, you know, because it's like, shit, I just put all this time into it and I got what I got out of it and now what do I do? Yeah. That's, well, now, you know, you could help me and my father try to locate Jesus Ramirez if you want. You could do that. I'm not worried about her. She's a rock star. Good for her. She'll have good stuff going. But yeah, no, it was a good run. And the big, I got in a silver linings mode today and I was like, you know, could it, like playing striker, like she could add a really bad head-to-head collision. You know, she could have like completely blown out something. So we got it like relatively unscathed. I mean, listen, how many of the best parenting moments did she provide in her career for you? Dozens, right? Really fun. It's awesome. The most, especially for us who we both love sports. Yeah. When it's your own flesh and blood playing sports, you're going to root for that the most. It's incredible. You know? Yeah. So anyway, that's it. Congrats, Zoe. Great career. That's it for Parent Corner. Exciting. We have Jesus Ramirez and Zoe on Parent Corner this week. Any NBA stuff before we go that got you excited? It got me excited. We shit on the Warriors and that's all we had to do and they went 3-0 this week. And this Yaxo thing, I honestly can't believe it. Yeah. Now he's 24, so it makes more sense. But to have him and Boozer come into the league and be like these actual impact guys right away is like the single most unusual thing that can happen with rookies. Right. And Boozer's I think four years younger than Yaxo. But these guys, Yaxo's like has a chance to be an all-star. Like that's how good he's been. And I think he's invigorated them. Like they didn't even play Curry tonight and they still won. And then Boozer, the Grizzlies, they're 6-0. But this rookie class is really special. I don't know who we can jinx next, but now's the time. The only thing other numbers I was looking at, OKC 55 plus is still plus 115. So, my God, isn't that high now at this point? It's too high. Right? The league's wide open. I feel really, really good about the Celtics. And I think in general, like, San Antonio is now the mountain to climb I think in the two conferences because OKC's been compromised. But, you know, San Antonio's still a young team. They still have crunch time stuff. Who knows with Wemby's health? Like, this is a, if I'm like any of 12 teams, I feel like I have a chance this year. Because OKC was going to just wax everybody and that's just not happening. Well, the other thing I was going to say as long as we have the Celtics, we're talking about the Celtics. Tatum, the clutch player of the year is 6-1. Now, I already lost this, I bet, because I bet SGA after Williams got hurt. I'm like, you know what? Maybe they have a handful more close games and he's freaking great in the fourth quarter. every free throw, he's at the line. But now Tatum's favored at 6-1. That could be something. I like it. He's also 10-1 for MVP. The weird MVP one is Maxie at 50-1. I don't know why his odds are so high. Really? Maxie's been one of the best five or six guys in the league, and he's been huge in these games, especially down the stretch. And in general, I don't know what to make of Philly. But Dave, over and over again in the last five minutes of the game, taking care of business, gotten stops, and gotten good shots. And at some point, you got to start taking it really seriously. Like from a team future standpoint, they had the third best odds now to win the title. Yeah. Which seems crazy to me, but like LeBron was the best player on the court the other night, other than Maxie. And when you think like he's on a minimum contract, and it's like, well, he's 42, he can't keep doing this. But as a $4 million a year guy with all the other stuff they have, and then you watch at the end of games when he's doing LeBron stuff, which he can still do, it's better than I thought it was going to be. I'll say that. I was looking at them to make it to the Eastern Conference Finals. It's almost two to one. Because what is that? Two series they'd win? Well, you know, you look at the rest of the conference, Kawhi's already hurt. Yeah. Cavs, I think the Cavs are, I think they have a chance to be really good too. I've been, you know, it's super early, but the Cavs, it would be the other one. Indiana's already had a bunch of injuries. But the Celtics are five and one, and the one game they lost, they're up by 22 in the third quarter. Oh, look at you. So. Look at you. They got you. They reeled you in. No, you know who did reel me in was Paul George. Yeah? Paul George is a great, like just flat out great. Seems super happy. Loves being like a complimentary player. He's been really good. All right. Anything to plug? Yeah. If you had a bad beat with Lamar going out early, I hope you took advantage of BetProtect on FanDuel. And don't forget, if you're on the losing end of the asshole Cowboys or the Chiefs Moneyline, you're eligible for a hundred bucks reimbursement. Send your proof to BetEggs.com. And yeah, did you have a BetEggs, Simmons? Maybe I'll send you a hundred dollars. No, you won. We won everything that was closed. I haven't bet two months of BetEggs. What do you mean? Anything close? Anything like this? I had the Ravens plus three. Like what gets worse than that? Yeah. There you go. And Ringer Wise guys, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday is a big preview. I'm nine and one and 107 the last two weeks. That's Oxy Cousin. Just killing it. There you go. New rewatchables for me tomorrow. All the right moves. You like all the right moves. I did. That was a fun one. Me and Kyle Brand on that. And then Under Siege with me and CR and Sean a week from now. And then Amy Poehler after that. So that'll be next. What is she doing? You can't say? She wants to do nine to five. Is she going to buy the Lakers? Just tell us. I'm going to, I'll talk to her about it. There's, I'm still looking for, for money. Oh, nine to five. If you haven't done nine to five, that would be a good one with her. Yeah. Especially a little timely. So I think that's the one we're going to do. Yeah. So you go. All right. Cause, uh, thanks to Eduardo and Kyle and Jack and Chris. Um, good job by you as always. Good job by you, buddy. Thanks everybody. Netflix. See you on a pot on Tuesday. Must be 21 plus and president select states for Kansas and affiliation with Kansas star casino or 18 plus and president DC or Wyoming opt-in required bonus issued as non-withdrawable profit boost tokens restrictions apply, including any token expiration, max wager amount, see terms at sportsbook.finder.com game problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLE or 1-800-MY-RESET call 888-797-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gambling helpline ma.org or call 800-322-7777. 2-7-50-50 for 24 seven support Massachusetts or call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York for Louisiana call 877-770-7867.