The Caulkroach Problem | Son of a Boy Dad #429

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Yeah, it's High Noon. Just get some High Noon today. Thank you to High Noon for sponsoring, and enjoy the episode, everyone. And also, make sure that you visit HighNoonSpirits.com to find a High Noon near you. And spoiler alert, they're everywhere. All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today, it is August 18th. It is 1130 AM. And we are here from HQ Trez. Trez. I'm doing funny stuff these days, man. Yeah? I got some funny things happening. Hell yeah. Yeah. What's going on? So last night, I went to dinner. I went to this really cool steakhouse, this Argentinian steakhouse called Graciela. Oh, Graciela. Hot restaurant. It's hot? Hot. Hot. It's the spot. Hot spot. Where is it? In New York City? West Village. It's in the West Village. Yeah. It's a hot spot. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We sat down, and our tables, naturally, being New York, were pretty much communal. Yeah, sitting with another group. These two girls that were to the left of us. It was me and my buddy. And our table had a tiny wobble to it, just a tiny wobble, you know? And for some reason, I looked under, and I could see that the wedge that they had used had come loose. And so I reached down, and I started fixing it myself. Mm-hmm. And I got it under and fixed the wobble, just as the staff was coming over to say, oh, do you need us to do that for you? And I said, no, no, no. I put out all my own fires. And then I noticed the girls started to smile, right? Oh, interesting. And I turned to them, and I said, I fixed everything myself in case either of you is looking for a husband. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. And they giggled. Very bold. Yeah, it was good. Was that the end of. Yeah. Well, then later on. Did you sleep with any of them? I didn't, because I didn't know them well enough. Oh, okay. Yes, gentlemanly. Later on, I remember at one point, some of their food came out, and I said, what'd you get? And they said what it was, and then they ate most of it, and there was a little bit left. And I said, you guys going to finish that? Oh, yeah. It's a classic. Classic. Yeah, of course. But for you. And I was like, no, I don't want it. But you actually did want it. I did want it. Yeah. I wanted it. You're just too polite. See, they wanted to sleep with you, but you're just too much of a damn gentleman. Yeah. I'm husband material. I'm not a one-night stand guy. You're not a sleep on the first date type of guy. If they needed me to fix their roof leak, then yes, I would have been willing. Yes, if they needed some cock in their walls, just not cock in their vagina. Oh, yeah. I was just using some cock this weekend. Were you? Yeah, yeah. I got the hands dirty. What was the guy's name? And what are you insinuating? He busted all over your hands? I had cockroaches busted into my apartment. I had to cock them out. You cocked out the cocks? You're actually. That's how you're doing that? Yeah. You're cocking holes? Yeah, it works unbelievably well. You're sealing the exits. Yeah, I haven't seen one since. You're putting them in a now-use-can't-leave situation. You're locking them in and beating the shit out of them. No, I got a whole routine, whole ritual. How'd you look up what to do? Look up. It's all up here, brother. No, it's not. You think this is just a hat rack? Yeah. I do. I do. There's no way that you inherently knew exactly what to do with some roaches. Bro, I've dealt with the roaches before. I've defeated the roaches plenty of times before. You have never defeated the roaches. I have absolutely defeated them. They are a recurring enemy in your life. This is the hardest they've fought. I will say that. Harry versus the roaches is Israel versus Palestine. It is a battle that will go. Forever. Well, after we're gone. Yeah, it's really. Because this is my first time dealing with the little ones. What are those ones called? The Germans? Germans. The Germans? Oh. I've never dealt with the Germans before. The Germans? Yeah, I've only dealt with the big ones, which I'd prefer the small ones, to be honest. You're going to need the United States to join him in this fight. Yeah, we might. The G.I., those are the Germans. So I've been dealing with the Germans only in the bathroom. And. What is this, a game of Risk? And I. Because at my old apartment, I had the Big Johns. I don't know what the. I don't know what those ones were called. I think there's a full graph on the left there. What are the big graphics cards? Let's bring up the starting five of the cockroach family. Those are the Russians, probably. Yeah, something like that. I don't know what they're called. Giants? Giants. You got the Giants? No, I don't think I had the Giants. Oh, Long Japaness? Oh, no, I didn't have nothing like that. If I had those. I would just. I would leave. Oh, they've got wings. Yeah, I would just leave the apartment if I had those. You can't caulk the Giants out. No. They'll just fly around the long way. Come in through the window. They'll knock on the front door. Disguise as a maid. Housekeeping! They'll send you a photo of your door dash, so you open the door and then come right in. They'll storm in. They'll gift you a big wooden horse. He doesn't know about that. He hasn't seen that yet. No, of course I have. No, I haven't. But the. So, like, the big ones I had in my old apartment, but it was pretty. Like, I think I knew where they were coming in from, and I had, like, a gallon jug of Raid, and I would. Indoor Raid, of course. You just had it. You just had it sloshing around? Oh, it was a gallon with a hose. Oh. Like, an automatic hose. Oh, my God. So I would walk around the apartment, and I would just spray, like, every. It's a barrier. You're creating a barrier. I don't even know what you're talking about. What to fucking say to you? That you are, like, power-washing your apartment with Raid? It's not. It's not healthy for you to live in. No, no, no, no, no. You're mistaken. This is Indoor Raid. This is Raid specifically for indoors. I'm telling you, that doesn't mean it's good for you to be, like, breathing those fumes. Well, I would typically do it before leaving for a weekend, something like that. I usually don't do it. So it settles? Yeah, exactly. Okay, fine. I usually don't do it where I'm just sitting in it. Well, I know you don't open your windows. No, of course. I do, especially after I Raid. Well, that's where the roaches are coming from. No, not the windows. They're coming from below the sink or some shit. But, uh, so usually the gallon jug, I would spray, you know, it's a barrier, and it sets up the barrier for, like, up to, like, three months or some shit like that. It's like when you're putting out a forest fire. Exactly. You want to, like, burn the tiny brush. Yeah, exactly. And it works very well. Like, I would. At my old apartment, I would only ever find a roach, and it would be upside down dead, meaning it died from poison, a.k.a. the Raid. Never would. to see them alive. At the new apartment, I mean, these little guys are- The Germans. The Germans are strong. They do not go down easy. Right. They got a lot of heart, a lot of fight. They got fight in them. A lot of fight. Well, they're fighting for something. Very nationalistic roaches. Yeah. It's really surprising. They're not happy with how things were left after the last battle. Exactly. Yeah, they're doing- Because their economy was destabilized, they want to make the Germans great again. Far too many concessions. Yes. Well, let me tell you, they're doing a good job. But unfortunately, I'm doing a better job. Because you have WMDs. Exactly. Exactly. So I got, I mean, I got everything. I got the roach motels. I got the liquid traps. The big thing, my new thing this year is the gel bait. The gel bait is apparently, that's what the top dogs are using. What's that? The exterminators are using that. It's just like a big ass syringe of gel. And you spray it, you line cracks with it where you think they're coming from. And it's a process. It takes a little bit. You can't expect immediate results. You got to wait, wait for the process to, you know, work. They take the gel. They bring it back to the nest. Everyone dies. Everyone's not. They bring, how do, why do they bring it back to the nest? Because they're rolling in it? They're covered in it? No, that's just how they operate, I think. What they think, oh, we found some new thing and we want to, we want to show everyone? They think it's food. So they bring it. Why do they think it's food? What do they eat? Anything. They'll eat anything? Yeah. All they're looking for is water and like- Crumbs. So why would they think that gel is food? I don't know. I haven't, I didn't dive that deep into like what makes- You have not, not known what's going on for one second in this conversation. No, now. This is the most knowledgeable I've ever seen. No, no, now I don't know. There hasn't been a hole in your thought process. No, no, no. So it's natural for me to assume you'd have an answer to that. No, I don't. Unfortunately, I don't. This is very new to me as well. The gel bait. The gel bait, yeah. But so I put the gel bait everywhere because I have like a, I have like a cabinet behind my mirror in the bathroom. And every time I would open it up, there would be one German in there. Oh my God, dude. One little tiny German in there. The Germans are all over your toiletries and stuff? Well, no, I was like, I moved them out because I was trying to figure out the situation, get it all handled. So what were they going in there for? I don't know. I think they were like hiding in there or maybe that's where they were coming in from. I didn't, I really didn't know, but I was only seeing one at a time, which I still- Would it be dead? No, it would be alive. Oh, that's scary. No, but it's not. Cause they're, they're like this big. I don't- They're like the size of a fly. You've become very brave to your enemy, I would say. No, if it was the big ones, I would be freaking the fuck out. These little ones, trust me, you would have no problem handling these guys. Okay. It's just the sheer quantity of them is the problem. Sure. When you're in the West Village, it used to be trench warfare. Yes, exactly. And you, it would be like, you guys, you fought for three years and neither of you like made a foot forward. No, no. But I'll tell you what, I will take this over mice every day. Every day of the week. Because why? Cause they're not furry and cute? Cause they're not, they don't have like a heartbeat fucking, ugh, mice. I think I'd rather have mice than roaches. No, you wouldn't. Not like this. Dude, I really don't like roaches. Bro, I'm so disgusted by them. I'm talking about there's one bug this big in my bathroom. You would rather have a mouse. Okay, so when you need to kill that bug, what do you, you just ball up some paper towels or something and you squish it? No, I just squish it, throw it in the, or grab it. Throw it in the toilet. With your bare hands? No, with a toilet, with toilet paper. That's what I just asked. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. There's something about the crunching. They're, they're, they're so small they don't crunch. I'm thinking they're going to crunch. No, you're thinking, I'm telling you, you're thinking of the big boys. You're not thinking of the germs. I think you're not squishing hard enough, which is why they're not actually dying and they're climbing out of that hole. It's probably the same one. Of toilet paper and coming back to life. You're not doing enough. This is how I know you boys don't know roaches. You're not supposed to squish and kill the roaches because that spreads the eggs. Well, what if you. If you smoosh them on surfaces, you're risking egg spread. So how are you killing them? Flush. You, you ball up in toilet paper, you squish and flush. I don't really squish. I more grab and then throw. Ew. It sounds like you're bare handing these roaches. I would never in a million years bare hand a roach. You just, you just said I grab. With a toilet piece of toilet paper. Between two fingers. That's like two, like that's the, you're, you're basically touching the exoskeleton. No, it's thick. It's very thick. You're grabbing. You're grabbing by an antennae. Yeah, you're grabbing by a single antennae. I think antennae may be the plural. So it's antennae, probably. Antennae. Antennae. Mm-hmm. But anyways, I got the cock out and I pulled my cock out and I filled those holes up real good under the sink because there was a couple, there was a couple holes where like the pipes come in and I just shoved the cock right in there and I sprayed it all like with all on the cracks and it, I mean. You sprayed it with the raid. No, no, no. Well, I. You sprayed that originally. You went cock and then what on top of the cock? Nothing, just cock. You just cocked it. Just cock. The smartest way to do it is to start giving them ideas that they take back to the rest of the roaches, like, like indoctrinating them with communism. So they take it back to their young colleges and say like, we as Germans don't have to like fight this fight anymore. It's actually, we. Let them take themselves out. Right. Yeah. Crush them from the inside. Because then you're going to have some blue haired Germans coming out. You could plant a seed that could make them start to believe that this is not actually their reality. Oh, yeah. I like that. And find out where they have their spinning top, where they go to spin it and make it spin forever. Incept them. I like this. Yeah. Until they're just the old roach waiting to die alone. You're waiting for a gallon of raid. You don't know when it's coming, but you know it will take you back to where you want to be. i was looking at like the lows or home depot whatever website or uber eats or whatever and uh they were they had one thing where it was just like a bomb like a smoke bomb that you just throw in a room and lock it up just like and it just kills everything it says it goes into the walls bro i was like i don't think i can do that i don't think i think the neighbors might say something or die yeah yeah it says it's for inside though at some point in this podcast i was going to ask you why you once again sound sick but i don't think i need to ask that question no i don't do i sound sick yes you sound incredibly stuffy tell me i'm wrong ron you have a little bit of nose stuff going on you're very very congested again and it's because you've been huffing fumigated roach repellent oh no for in so many different ones methods no repellent hasn't been sprayed sprays gels no idea spreading sprays and bombs have not gone down in almost over a week almost over a week so less than a week almost over since the cock went in i have i've have not done anything because the cock has been working overtime it always does if we could take just a brief moment to note that the two of you are wearing the exact same outfit yeah wow holy fuck what's going on here it is present tuesday where did you get that uh or are you going to give us your louis vuitton bag i had a present and i forgot to bring it i've noticed that you've uh you've been going through it mentally so i wanted to get you and this is actually it's a communal present for the entire studio uh a pet bro what is that an emotional support cat that freaked me out oh my god it looks real a full emotional support cat what the hell is that an emotional support cat for the pod is it squishy squishy squishy well give it a pull on the head isn't that nice i don't know if it's nice like a stretch stretch armstrong it's a little gooey yes it's very gooey it's a little wet where the hell did you get that a sex store some freak shit throw it to sass throw it to sass i don't know if i want to collect i just want to hear what hear him catch it what the hell is that oh man is that one of those things that you like put in like a cup of water and it like expands no no no it's like a squishy these are all the rage this thing is disgusting these are all the raid right now they're all the raid give it a squish touch it a little bit that's all you what do you mean it's all look at the bottom yeah it's collecting a little bit of hair already this might be the thing that if you gave it to the roaches they could bring it back to their leader and start eating it and they'd all die yeah that's pretty good there that's a big giant piece it's made of peep material yeah is it edible probably i'd bite it but you know i don't want to take it back to my clan there's too much hair on it there's some that's gonna collect some hair yeah big time where did you get this thing japan yeah i went to japan this weekend to grab this i don't know you're always going somewhere to japan to grab a stuffy is that what it's called a stuffy no they're called something else revealed it these no it's not a stuffy it's like something they're called something they're like and when you go to toy stores these are like the most prized possession lot is that the same shit as those like uh i keep on seeing those videos of those people with like the the circular box a squishy a squishy kitty yeah it's a squishy kitty that's a mega swish squishy kitty a little bit of a tongue twister not really mega squishy kitty say it five times fast it's so disgusting where did you acquire this from the internet no no shot what are you talking about you ordered it online yeah no you didn't what the fuck else would i buy this you think i'm going to brick and mortar to get a squishy kitty i don't know i i don't know did you get it for one of the kids did you get it for the kids and they and then you realized they rejected it yeah it's like a choking hazard how could they possibly joke on that it's kind of an interesting it's like a futuristic material it really is you think that they're like getting rid of material like they're running out of materials and then they come out with a squishy kitty like this it's really bizarre the fur texturing is incredibly well done it's very realistic why does it look so like the fur looks so real and then you touch it and it's not even close to what you would expect it to feel like it's futuristic boys get your paws on this cat yeah showing back oh man things heavy it's jarring it's truly jarring that how jiggly the squishy kitty yeah i don't fuck with that at all what are you talking about not for me honestly yeah my wife was like get this out of the house yeah you got it for me was it for the kids no it was never for them you just bought it for yourself i don't even know i just bought it to kind of like to have i didn't know it's kind of one of those things you don't know what you're gonna do with it it has such a powerful energy there's no way oh nice you guys are throwing that thing don't just ask it's fun to catch too everything about it is fun like i don't understand why what you're doing it's just like it's just like it's just like it's just like what everybody's aversion of it is aversion to it is we should get a knife and cut it to pieces the eyes you know it'll spawn you know that if you crush us uh all the eggs will leak all over the place or not it will it probably would too there's probably something inside of it is that what it is is like that you bought something illegal and they sent it in this in the squishy kitty cut it open yeah it's like a fake id is inside of it it's made of cocaine it's made of pure cocaine by the way did you guys see those those sweet penn state students there's a big drug ring at penn state the 14 frat kids were arrested because they were making the pledges cut and bag cocaine that's hilarious the that's what the pledges should be doing yeah there's like one main dude who was behind it and uh his dad was also in on it his dad was also arrested his dad was like the the the yola what were they cutting it with um that's a good question i'm not sure that's the that's the real that's the real question you're saying like what material or like are you saying are you they using were they cutting with knives is that your question no no i mean what are they cutting it with got it not what are they cutting it with yet look at these these what frat was it cap a sick guy i think kai you wouldn't expect that from sig kai bros yeah they're usually fucking rock solid that used to drive me so nuts when people would be like no no these guys are these guys were kids these are good guys they're they're good guys they would never do this yeah this is 22 jump street meets blow what's blow what yeah you don't know what blow is movie yeah it's uh it's a it's a instant oh we've talked about i think we've talked about this movie on the podcast no we never have no we definitely have not one time i gotta watch below not one time have we no i'm pretty sure we've had this exact conversation it's all right though i wouldn't hate having it again it's a good movie dude i'm sharing the uh this the sig kai they did a house tour i'm sending it to tyler right now they just did a house tour and everybody's like that must be where they were fucking chopping the i imagine like american gangster frat houses at penn state are so disgusting i just sent it to you tyler um it's like there's there's no it's just all like the bottom of that it's all just like a sticky hairy floor it's so foul is that how the finals clubs were no not at all right no no stick to the floor no these floors are exclusively stick the one riggs was in had a basement that was oh right floor because that's where all the parties were yeah where you'd partake in the party yeah he was in the fucking hey bro and then there there was one other that was bad too the owl yeah it was pretty sticky but for the most part it's not uh it wasn't it wasn't too gross every single one at penn state there's not one that wasn't gross it's fucking foul years ago i went to perform in richmond did you ever do that club in richmond virginia i don't think so i can't remember what it was called but a lot of people went but um one of my buddies had a younger brother who was uh at the university of richmond at the time and he and 20 of his frat brothers came to my show and then the next day they had this thing you know one of them had a house the three or four of them or whatever where they lived but that was also where they had all their parties because they had gotten like kicked off campus or something oh yeah and it was halloween weekend and their whole place was just like pledge class and all of them were playing this game of full contact capture the flag basically where the the rule was like if you could steal the other team's keg tap and bring it back over to your side you would win the game either that or if you threw up on the other team's keg you would win the game there are two ways to win the game wow okay and i watched this yeah i have videos of it where were you watching from like a hill in a neighboring town like you were a aristocrat observing a civil war battle i was watching it from a deer blind no one knew in a ghillie suit telescope yeah and uh i mean they were really like they were like almost full on fighting each other throwing each other around nosebleeds like tossing each other into bushes throwing up on each other it was insane i've never seen anything like it this is richmond yeah yikes richmond's a big time party school yeah it is those those small schools like richmond trinity those are the schools that you know kids go to and do drugs those are drug schools yeah not like penn state which is a drug school clean school i think they're all drug schools really big small yeah but there are some there is like a level of like mid-sized school where like the people who were good at partying in high school go to be good at partying in college yeah and have money and it's those schools you have a certain amount of money and it's like i want to take my partying to the next level yeah i want to be a pro at partying there should be recruitment networks for partying like there should be nil money for the best partiers do you think more people are doing cocaine now than are than like they were in like the 80s i think it's the same yeah oh you mean in verse two yeah i think it's the same versus the 80s probably less yeah probably but i do think that like a lot of people do from the 90s through the 2000s through the 2010s through now cocaine is about the same would be my really yeah kind of well there's some people like um you ever hear the statistics of like you eat seven spiders throughout your entire lifetime while you're sleeping yeah but then there's the thought that there's somebody who's eating a ton of spiders and like throwing off the numbers yeah there's somebody like nikki smokes in the cocaine community who's doing so much cocaine excuse the sample size yeah well they say like even if you don't do cocaine you'd usually do at least an eight ball right throughout your life throughout your life while you're asleep you snorted in i think harry eats 13 cockroaches a night in his sleep no no shot that's why you're so congested and that's why you don't want i'm congested from all the cocaine that i've been doing the cockroaches are using him as the trojan horse they're they are they're all within your body right now i think it's crazy though like there is a lot of uh like i'm never done coke it's not i'm not a drug guy um but it seems like it's like everyone does it tyler could we look up you know cocaine usage in america over the decades and whether or not how do you even find that like how is that even accurate yeah who's reporting yeah it's probably like seizures size of seizures amount of overdoses not a lot well that's all from the fent fentanyl right but i mean they can track it or they'll put out like us a poll an anonymous poll and be like have you used cocaine in the last year i just know those numbers aren't accurate because everyone's just gonna say no that's not true yeah what would you say well i don't know i haven't i haven't used cocaine in about 15 years so what if they what if you go in that said have you used cocaine in the last 20 years would you say yes or no yeah i would say yes no shot why not because we don't know if you've used cocaine in the last 20 years Why would you? So much easier to say no. well because i want them to have the right data so that people like me can get the answers to these goddamn questions right sick and tired it's the same reason that i like always consider donating to wikipedia even though i don't you should i want there to be proper information out there yeah you should donate yeah you go on the cocaine the cocaine exit polls 1980s peak cocaine use reached historic highs during the 1980s fueled by both powder cocaine and the rapid rise of affordable crack um then in the 90s it dropped public health campaigns harsher legal penalties and a cultural shift against the drug caused usage rates to fall steeply through the 90s that's what reagan ran on right making crack more affordable yeah yeah long-term drop federal estimates indicate that overall consumption and the total number of regular users fell by roughly half compared to the mid-1980s peak current usage remains a fraction of 1980s levels though numbers you know i think that's a good point i don't think that's a good point i think that's a good point i think that's a good point i think that's a good point i think that's a good point i think that's a good point i think that's a good point i think that's a good point i think that's a good point if they had just uh if if it had been legalized and regulated off the rip then cocaine would still be pure oh man i love i love a nice line cut up with some roach gel because then you bring it back to your frat brothers yeah some dried cock get some cock mixed in there let me get some of the german roach coke i thought that so why do you think that's a good point i think that's a good everybody's talking about the 80s being the peak but wasn't like sigmund freud doing cocaine they were but that that was medicinal back then that was why they did it it was pure but somehow when uh it was like fucking uh sherlock holmes did it it was their version of adderall i thought there was another version of adderall that they were all taking in like the 60s like uh like ben's yeah like what was like jack carroll's ben simmons adderall didn't exist in the 80s uh bestraw some crazy fucking shit that they were all doing but it is all the same i mean it's all just amphetamines yeah you boys know how it is come on now of course i'm not an i'm not an amphetamine person because it works too damn good no it makes me oh yeah that one ben's a dream that's what like uh yeah benny's double benny's ben's a dream yeah that's what jack kerouac uh took and then he wrote on the road in two weeks that wasn't he selling ben's dream diet uh t-shirts yeah diet merch with get a copy of the book get a free ben's dream diet shirt by the way part of my takes book is out now oh yes go check that out that did you guys see the return of uh billy i didn't watch it yet on jake marsh's yeah yeah we should get him on this show to be honest i don't think he's coming back he would love to come on this show he seemed real he seemed real happy yeah working working getting his hands dirty he's a farmer now soil yeah he's a farmer he tills the fields that's the cure to happiness that's the cure that's the cure to sadness or depression you just got to get dirty get your hands dirty get some calluses you know francis is talking about losing 10 pounds bro he put out this video of him eating shirtless in his car he you your pecs go to the middle of your neck i've never seen anything like it your pecs fucking meat at your fucking adam's apple what does that mean what does that mean you just have like good or bad you have the most peck definition i've ever seen come on a line that goes all the way up to the top of your neck yeah where the 10 pounds is gonna come from you got no 10 pounds unless you just get like like i'm gonna get super cut i uh i actually yesterday i went to the gym twice in the morning and in the night and i think if i start doing two days i'm about to be a problem well your joints are definitely gonna hurt then not if i not if i'm careful you're gonna hurt yourself and you're not gonna lose weight how dare you actually the answer who talks like that if you're are you i wish upon you and i want you to not achieve your goal i do not wish injury upon anybody um but if you're are you lifting twice a day no i lift in the morning and i do cardio at night okay okay this is how much cardio i'm gonna just shade on something here that i've already told roan about and i'm not gonna talk about it much but i'm just gonna say quietly right now that there is a current percolating dream long shot chance that i'm going to try to be an olympian in 2028 oh okay love it well then you gotta up it you can't be that's where this is all coming from you're laughing at him but like it's uh it's i'm not laughing at him you just it's eerily possible it's attainable it's eerily attainable what what what sport i'm not even going to say the sport i'm just gonna go on it you don't want other people to start trying pretty much to keep this net small until i've got the jacket on can you tell us at least is it winter or summer summer it's the 28 28 28 summer games in la and what does the process look like to get in sorry is this distracting yes you're petting it that's my cat is your emotional support stuff even yeah brought steven in from home today oh cut it out i don't like that he loves that no way you can hear it um what does the process look like to get into the olympics like you i think you probably got to start going to like qualifiers and stuff pretty soon i have a tryout in september oh my god in september over labor day weekend i'm giving up my labor day weekend to go try out is it a one and done type thing like if you like what if you fail can you try out again i think it's a little bit of like a rolling process to be honest with you the problem i have right now is that i've never played the sport but and i don't even know where i would play the sport it's not as if it's like something where i can go yeah yeah you know trying to think of what find a pickup game populist of all the sports like shot put or no no it's not on your own it's a team sport it's a team sport yeah i don't really you guys will figure it out but i don't want to say anymore volleyball no no i'm not going to say anymore i'm trying to think of a sport where like the people that are doing it like wouldn't like the skill gap's not that crazy but like volleyball i would assume is probably pretty tough to do yeah the volleyball you got to play d1 and then and then be really insane i'm also my problem right now is that i'm 37 which means that in the summer of 2028 i'll be 39 and even though i'm in decent shape brady played till he was 45 he did but he was consistently treating his body with the highest end technologies and treatment teams and things like that throughout but you also got to think you haven't been competing yeah you haven't taken any hits yeah you've never been sacked exactly somehow i'm i feel worse though yeah but that's natural but you haven't there's no there's not as much wear and tear like you're you're still hovering around maybe 25 physically yeah your bio but your biological age is probably 25 you may be right about that i don't know i i don't feel great i mean whenever i go i'm trying to ease in that's where these like two days are coming from yeah but i don't know if you can really ease in if we have tryouts in september yesterday i did a workout in the morning which was accumulate 100 burpees where uh starting on every whatever minute you do three pull-ups uh you do six push-ups and nine air squats and then you do as many burpees um until you want to stop to rest until uh the next two minutes yeah i hate that and it was impossible i hate those like you do that you do like strictly that like i did that i did that and i only got to 75 burpees and i couldn't continue i was literally like i cannot get down i can't get down and do more so i had to stop but then in order to punish myself i had to stop and i had to for not completing the workout i did the assault bike i did the salt assault bike tabata what did you eat for dinner after that um well i went out to that argentinian steakhouse which i got to stop doing that do you think that because that's not going to be part of my olympic diet but but i was going to say do you think that you need to be cutting right now if you're preparing for the olympics i think that if i'm going to play the sport that i want to play uh i need to lose at least 10 to 15 pounds i think i need to be a lot lighter because it's it's a lot is it pickleball you have to be very light to play olympic pickleball is that like a new sport it's like being a jockey you have they're always adding shit yeah they just added flag football what a francis yeah yeah huh surfing table tennis squash canoe it's canoe i got it i'm gonna be a canoe no i don't even know that's crazy canoe slalom is it jude jude hey jude judo it's cool it's cool that lacrosse is in it but uh they're apparently they're doing sixes lacrosse sixes which i i don't even know i guess that's gonna be like the rugby sevens i don't know why they do that for the olympics yeah didn't they take baseball out of the olympics i don't know i mean it's yeah it's out of there yeah i know they did like remember they did like the 3v3 basketball it's like what the fuck was that in the olympics yeah it still isn't oh wow it's very odd it's like we have the okay so we got the best basketball players but now we got some guys who are pretty decent we have some crafty ones yeah yeah we have the ipa like don't you think if anyone that was playing in the real basketball olympics played in the 3v3 that team would just win automatically and they'll do their best to convince you that it's a completely different thing and they'll do their best to convince you that it's a completely different sport they're like no there's backdoor cutting yeah like that flag football quarterback yeah who's like my home says no like it's a completely different sport and then to a tongue of iloa's little brother came in and then immediately like won the qualifying tournament like not even to his little brother that played at like maryland yeah not even a pro just like a regular guy went in the plays in flag football that they do are sick though it's all laterals they're like like throwing the ball in the air and like tipping it to each other yeah it's kind of fucking gnarly a lot of style if you're a dad you've probably spent the last few years coaching little league and putting one out putting everyone else's needs ahead of your own now it's time to give yourself something back neutral full men makes it easy a daily supplement clinically tested to support hair growth from within so you can feel more confident and more like you it is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand and the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists and that's why neutral full men is a gift that actually feels personal if you're giving it to your dad or finally doing something to yourself for yourself it is clinically tested to support longer visibly thicker hair and men at every age right now when you buy neutral full men hair growth supplement subscriptions you can get two free gifts a full two-in-one shampoo and conditioner plus hair serum a ninety-three dollar value plus twenty percent off your subscription take advantage of this great deal at neutral full dot com that's neutral full dot com spelled n u t r a f o l dot com ron i haven't seen you without a hat on in i don't know how many episodes yeah what the fuck well it looks great thank you brother why don't you do that more often i don't know i hadn't i didn't think about it you look so pleasant and happy it's nice to see your face that's so nice nice of you thank you so much nice warm welcoming face i was uh there was a period of my life where a group of women uh they called me as a nickname apple because they said my face looks like an apple i'm like that sounds that feels mean it does feel mean that feels like bullying you look great harry's face on the other hand reminds me of just looking at him is like looking at a stop sign it's like being told no without the words yeah it's a stern parent so you don't a face full of disdain and rejection cynicism crazy meanwhile i'm full of welcoming welcoming i'm like a welcoming apple like the apple that the snake gave you in the garden of eden the most welcoming apple ron can we talk at all about what's been happening in surviving barstool of course of course it's been it's been a great uh few episodes have you guys watched any of it i've been watching the clips i haven't i haven't i watched i think i watched the whole first episode i've watched a number of the like elimination votes yeah i sort of skipped to those um and then yeah that's kind of what i do i saw the clip of brandon talking about uh talking that when nick got voted off yeah and he's like y'all better have not done what i think you did why did that bother him so much because he's friends his best friend so that's it it's just a friendship thing yeah it's his best friend nicky smokes did it why did nicky smokes vote nick out i think i think he he knew nick is good and so he wanted to get him out of the game well that's probably a good move no yeah yeah definitely it's deeply personal the wednesday wednesday night episode is uh is it is a sick episode i guess it's out by the time we're talking about this but it's uh it involves just the most amount of scheming that i've ever done spoil that shit for us huh spoil that shit uh if it's already gonna be out you're gonna be out of the game it's already out so uh they're trying they're all i'm i'm on a tribe with five people who i don't know uh or who i haven't been with the entire time they stayed together i got dropped onto their tribe and uh led by uh pat by gay pat and uh gay feidelberg they're all trying to get me out they're like they're like we're we're getting you out they basically like sat me down and told me that they're gonna get me out and i'm like why not dante and they're like dante's not good and i'm like why not dante and they're like why not dante and i'm like why not dante and they're like i gave them like an impassioned like fucking hitler speech i mean like you have to keep me in the game i want to be in the game so bad alex jones yeah alex jones them to death yeah and they uh eventually like with the help of tommy and brandon walker that they uh they they kept me into in the game it was very uh you just threw pure passion you saved your place i saved my place through pure passion they didn't know that i had a fucking idol at that time though so why did you just say like okay i accept that you're gonna vote for me and then use your idol to did they find out you have the idol no none of them knew that i had the idol so do they know do the viewers know at this point viewers know that i have the idol well why again was there no part of you that thought like i'm cooked no matter what i might as well just like tell them to to vote for me and then use my idols i wanted to save the idol so i was like i'm gonna try so hard to save the idol what they didn't know is i had the idol to play no matter what so either like basically i was playing to save one of them because if i play the idol and nobody knows then like i could just take whoever i want and get them out of the game you had to use the idol in this vote no i didn't have to use it i saved the i was able to save the idol boy that takes some balls man yeah this is like it sounds like such a stressful game it's a nightmare like like did you like i feel like you got to take like adderall for this game i don't are you just like are you just like firing on all cylinders like you're just constantly just like it's the most calm my mind has ever been i'm not even kidding like there's no part of me that was really that stressed i like it like charged me up and excited me to be able to play the game at that level like it was just like i was just like enjoying like rushing to everything yeah i was like francis at the olympic trials like it was like i felt like i was home yeah i feel like the beginning would be not stressful because you're like i'm not gonna win who gives a fuck and then i feel like the you make it you're probably start like oh i don't know now i'm in now i'm in it yeah i'm actually like that's how i was for the most dangerous games like i was like there's no shot i'm even gonna come close so who cares and then i next thing i know i'm top three given a given the best speech that's ever been given in reality speech that's ever been given and then voting myself out accidentally how did you do that again how'd you vote yourself i voted for tommy and he wanted winning at one point you and if you have voted for who else was in the final i think smitty yeah no one voted for smitty so if you had just voted for smitty i would have won or i would have or we would have tied i don't know what would have happened but i think if we went to a tiebreaker i would have won but yeah i voted for tommy because i assumed no one was going to vote for tommy so i was like it's just a dead vote i thought it was going to be between me and smitty that's a miscalculation on your part big man and i the crazy thing is like i barely thought i was going to win like i was like yeah i'll just vote for tommy like that sounds right and then i just lost i i in in this game i thought i thought about everything so much and every permutation if you guys get a chance go back and just watch the tribal of the second episode because i'm just like it's marty and glenny and i knew that anika and meek phil were trying to vote me out and so i'm just grilling marty and glenny being like who the fuck who are you voting for just tell me who you're voting for and i got the information and i'm like okay i'm going to vote for smitty and out of them just through sheer will they said you i well i know they said they weren't voting for me but i'd had to like double and triple confirm that because i was so scarred from last season when we were double crossed by uh like ria and like dave and big cat and they're all like yeah we're voting for you and i took them at their word the first time they said it and i was like i'm not taking anybody at their word the first time i'm giving them every chance to show me the slightest uh like little maybe indication that they might be lying and then i'm going to fucking uh like use the idol if i have to so i had the the idol at that point how did you i'll even say then like how did you know how did you trust based on their answers that you could just not play your idol in order to and you'd be fine because glenny's a paisan i made him swear on his mother and then uh and then he gave me like he nodded he did like the robert de niro like frown when he nodded i mean that's just the weight of cheeks though dragging the corners of his mouth down but like if there's a lot if there's a hint of a lie there he he averts eye contact or the side of his mouth like you know something happens and so i asked these questions so many times about what was going on that i gave them the chance to like tell their story against their story and it's like i'm comparing the notes of what they're saying uh to themselves so you were really analyzing these guys i was not like not psychoanalyzing in that like it's like uh it sounds like you were psychoanalyzing no i was analyzing like a psycho that's what i'm saying i mean you were looking for this no that that's what i'm grilling him that's what i'm grilling marty fundamentally more intelligent is this what's happening like you just mentally it sounds like you just yelled at them until you believed them yes definitely not more intelligent but but less worried to uh like make a uh like i wasn't worried about making a you know like making a mistake like making a mistake like making a mistake like making a mistake that's that nod right there i was like glennie am i okay yeah because i was ready to play the idol and he just gave me the and that convinced you yes that was all i needed to see look at that look at that when he says it like that you could tell that is not a lying man that is not a lying man when he when he's his arms cross and he just fucking nods at me that's like that that is not a lie and it's like when you but i could have burnt the auto right there dude i have dreams still where you know i know i'm getting voted out and somehow i hand my idol to you right before i exit the game that's so nice of you well i should have done it instead i just tried to like miraculously save myself only to get caught in a web of utter like host nonsense like lying you know rule fucking beautiful bullshit that was a that was a top surviving moment ever no they they have been putting out all these instagram top moments top idol plays top tribal moments and you're in all of them for that same moment and you honestly to your credit like were debonair at the death and you said like no i realize i'm out and we're able to kind of like not fully if i was if i was you in that situation i'm flipping every fake stump on that set there's a part of me that just wishes i had a chance to be a part of that set just fundamentally physically attack jeff delo and just like cause violence i don't think they're who can pull me off that oh i'm in olympic shape right now yeah true even then you're in incredible shape your best case the best athlete left over there is mooby she would have to try to uh rear naked choke you off yeah and your hair's long as hell in that my mine was very long yeah that was uh yeah they were all so proud of themselves all those people who were so proud of themselves for creating this like uh unlosable situation and they're all chummy and getting along and then at the fucking finale it's like all of them weeping weeping hatred and like life ruining revelations yeah it seems like uh how are you able to live in both of those realities yeah it seems like people get really upset when they get voted out or like blindsided but i i always get confused which also i've never played this game so i don't know like i'm sure you get very emotionally invested but it seems like people get like surprisingly angry and then like they're like actually mad at the person in real life it's it's so it's such horseshit everyone that works here says you know if they if they vote someone out or backstab someone they're like that's the game it's part of the game but then if it happens to them they're like i'm gonna murder your children we're never gonna speak again you're not good at your job i'm gonna talk to dave and get you fired yeah yeah and it's like it's just as simple as like no it's all personal it's all gonna be taken personally and nobody can avoid that there have been a few times where people have not taken it personally i didn't take it personally but that's because i took it personally no i didn't i remember picking you up from the airport in dc and you were like rudy is dead to me that's that's that's that's most dangerous game show yeah yeah i took that personally yeah i definitely took that personally surviving because of how personally i took most dangerous game show i was like i'm not gonna put emotional stakes into this i'm not gonna invest myself emotionally in this i'm just gonna try to have fun and win all the challenges i can and then i'm assuming i'll get voted out and i did and that's why i was able to click back into that like i accessed that promise to myself yeah the moment i was being fucked in the ass and you can watch that uh access happen live on camera yeah because you're like in the you're realizing not only are you getting voted out but you're getting screwed out of like a uh quote-unquote miscommunication yeah you got loopholed you got loopholed bad well i didn't get loopholed i got like loopholed post like after the fact you got insider traded it was like what happened in the real time was a complete blurring of the lines or not even it was a it was an overstep of of the rule and then after the fact they retrofitted an uh like an understanding to make it so that the host and the rules people hadn't just fucked me but they did yeah you got fucked i was like if i get voted out of the game the idol dies and jeff was like yes it will die if you're not in the game and then he's like well when i said that it was true it's like come on yeah yeah no that was bad don't you dare don't you dare you got fucked you it happens i think some some people have been able to take it um like uh uh gracefully this season like danny jackal just got voted off and she was able to take it extremely gracefully she just like kind of good for her didn't cry yeah that's class i like anika didn't cry i think hannah didn't cry ella cried but like hannah montoya oh yeah okay i was thinking about there was the uh the golf girl oh yeah was she in this hannah cook no hannah montoya but then none of them cried which like last season four or four women cried way too much crying last year nails on a chalkboard it's really brutal it's so brutal yeah watching something for entertainment people are just but that's some people's entertainment is crying not me some people love a tear i hate tears really yeah save them well how do you hate them so much ted hawk in style really yeah i think it's i mean it's it's good tv stop you're crying the producers were probably salivating i will say this season has been um not it doesn't have the star powers last season but the gameplay the challenges the uh everything else that you want to see as a survivor fan has been in this season yeah it's like almost a better season what do you think about like the alliances like when i've always wondered that too when people do the alliances and they're like we had an alliance and it's like yeah but you knew like it too only one person can win yeah that alliance is gonna crumble yeah but i think when it happened so early on you're like well you didn't have to do it to me yeah like you could have we if we had an alliance like even nick nick is like the most even keel well-liked person and he was like when did you see when he walked out yeah he was like what are you sorry for fucking me over he said that to uh nicky smoke yeah yeah and people were giving nick shit it's like nobody understands how that feels and also the show is not as good if you don't care as much yeah the show is better because nick cared that much yeah it is uh it definitely is because like i've never done it so like i'm saying all this stuff but i'm assuming yeah when you're in it it's probably it's probably pretty fucking annoying to get voted off like that right imagine if meek phil and dante had double crossed you oh i'd kill them both you would kill the don wouldn't have a choice dante uh reached out to me and said he was ready to bury the hatchet oh that's good from the whole chicago situation what's the hatchet when we went to the cubs game with big cat uh remember francis got the text and he was like yo where are you at just got here oh and he was at dinner with ella yeah yeah but he made it seem like he was at dinner alone power move and that i had stood him up alone yeah yeah and we were at the cubs game and i was like what do you mean where am i i'm at the cubs game yeah honestly the worst thing i could have said yeah we me and you should be more insulted by that entire scenario why that dante didn't invite us to the dinner we're equally visiting like francis is yeah but i mean i don't really have like a close relationship with the don i like dante and i go out to dinner we've done yeah yeah yeah you've done you've been to dinner once you probably had one dinner with dante in your life i don't think so well you're only one behind francis that is true yeah i guess i probably have had dinner near dante yeah that's what i mean and he didn't invite you yeah it's like what why like are we chopped livers like why if he he's inviting katie canella what was going to happen at that dinner i feel like you're going to get tapped for like the party society i like that crew i like that the three of them are chums what an interesting group of friends i like that yeah it is an interesting i really like dante so i'm glad he's with me willing to sort of forgive me he's coming to new york and i said we'll go out to dinner and i was thinking of taking him to the restaurant dante oh and be like i got you a restaurant yeah yeah that's fine i made this for you uh dante came to brooklyn and he was like any good brooklyn uh recommendations i'm staying at whatever hotel he was staying at you could probably guess which hotel dante would stay at the one yes and uh the uh and so i made him like the most comprehensive list of places that he could go or hang out or different types of dinner options that he could go to that were close or uh around him look at look at how look at how comprehensive and like well organized that is good for you miss ada's really good yeah i mean look bro look at like coffee breakfast this is for dante it's good yeah only in brooklyn so i was like coffee places near him wow lunch places just completely comprehensive he didn't go to one place he didn't go to one place that i recommended to him wow is that a trash list is that a trash list knock it huh i said you can't knock it why because sometimes you know you just you find somewhere that you think looks good oh you went all broken this is awesome yeah i don't want you to send this to me it's all brooklyn maybe he wanted to get out of the borough i mean you you you've been though just about i mean what are those places not many of these uh bars and clubs and stuff the nightlife you know i i it occurred to me like sometimes i'll get these uh things on instagram that are like the five coolest bars in new york city right now and i'm like i haven't been to a bar in new york city in years just a good old-fashioned pub like a bar where you're like let's people watch and and talk to people oh talk to strangers yeah meet strangers all i just go to restaurants yeah i don't fuck with bars no mo um yeah if i was getting hammered i would definitely like going to a bar but going to a bar sober is it's just so brutal what about the mocktails they've gotten good yeah would you like a mocktail capri sun precious little juice box at the bar my mocktail is basically a capri sun with crushed ice yeah and like a tahin rim mocktails do nothing for me it's just you're just standing there drinking juice drinking a shirley temple a shirley temple is delicious of course it is uh francis you brought me to a bar before we went to dinner that one night where did we go it was like a speakeasy oh yeah we did yeah we did do that was nice i forgot about that okay yeah so that's fair we went to a bar we went for one we got one drink before dinner yeah and we didn't we weren't it wasn't the intention of meeting other people i haven't done a bar where that was the point in a long time i'm gonna have to do that this weekend where because that's because the fellas are coming i'm dreading it you're dreading your friends coming to town no i'm pumped for my friends to come i'm dreading the evening that they want to go out because i know it's just going to be are you going to be in qu or are you going to uh explore different boroughs i think they want to go to manhattan should i say why don't i send you the list i sent dante i don't think they're going to go to brooklyn they wouldn't go to brooklyn you have to damn near go through brooklyn to get to manhattan lower manhattan damn near yeah taking the train what about green point that's near where you live right it's close you guys should go to carl's uh sober bar in green point we'll be there carl radke yeah carl radke has a he has a yeah yeah he has a non-alcoholic bar in green point really what if you took them there and didn't tell them that i should let's bring it on them that is completely meaning to tell you guys i'm concerned about your drinking so we're gonna start here none of us are drinking this weekend actually i saw lev drink a full na beer this weekend thinking it was a real beer and he started acting goofy right yeah he started acting like he was hammered he's like i'm feeling good i was like that's all that's an na bro started dancing yeah it is such a funny thing to do though when you're drinking like you've done that i remember you did that with the peronis yeah i tried one once yeah it was devastating no you said you were pre-gaming for a concert i bought i bought a six pack of peronis then they were zero zeros yeah i thought that three of them i thought they were heavies i thought they were peroni heavies peronis like that's like a classy you feel like you're outside in europe drinking because i was getting drunk off the butt like the vibes alone oh yeah it's a great vibe and i still feel good that was when you went to the um to the paramore paramore podcast yeah i went to the paramore concert got there late and they were done singing songs it's just an unreal night i'm pre-gaming with zero zeros and getting to the concert and they're sitting down talking it was in a venue too where like it was standing room only and i had to go to the balcony and like stand behind people i wasn't even belly up at the balcony i was like peeking over people's shoulders to get like a glimpse of hayley williams hair but i am going to when hayley williams comes back into town at forest hills next month i am going to be there oh really yeah she's going to perform there yeah is it paramore i think josh will be there josh who alan oh you're thinking hayley steinfeld that is who i'm thinking about come on bro come on now who's hayley williams the lead singer from paramore oh okay you're not a paramore guy nope you'd love them actually i i would go to forest hills to see hayley williams i love paramore do you actually yeah well what about her solo stuff i've never listened to it are you kidding me i've only ever listened to her what kind of fucking color is that i've only ever listened to the paramore stuff her her i mean her solo music's great i'll have to catch up it aligns with you politically too of course free the nipple she just performs with a regina george cut out of her nipple just a nipple poking through shirt free the nipple conca nipple yeah we uh we got this football season we should go to a bar okay doesn't that sound nice yeah it does but i want to go to like a cool classy hotel bar with leather and darkness they probably won't be showing football there no they won't be so you want to just go to a bar during football but we're not going to watch i want to watch it on our i want to be like don draper at a bar i might start wearing suits yeah yeah you guys think that's a good idea no you should wear a suit with like a t-shirt like you're andrew tate yeah mr plenty yeah you should go with you should wear a cobra tate mr plenty suit dude i gotta i gotta mr plenty i bought a suit um at that sample sale that i went to all like a couple years ago where i bought all that shit and i bought a suit off the rack it was you know 75 off so i thought okay and then i went to my dry cleaning place and had the tailor bring it in where it needed to be and fit it to me or whatever and then i wore it to a wedding and nothing has ever fit me worse and i was like oh this was a mistake yeah you can't do this yeah i bought it i bought the suit off the rack at macy's and it's fits like a glove i know what you're saying francis you need to have it built the body it just didn't work at all for me so recently as well i went on um my buddy lawrence from throwing fits i was like dude i need to buy i need to get a suit he was like you got to go see jay muser and jay i went there and i'm getting fitter and i'm getting fitter and i'm getting fitter i got fitted for a custom suit and it wasn't as much as i would have thought actually wasn't that bad you 800 1000 a little over a thousand maybe oh really yeah no it's actually not as bad as i thought he cut me he cut me a deal they were really nice to me nice that's cool um but anyway the point is is that i'm getting fitted for this custom suit and i'm deeply concerned about the weight loss that i got fit for it at a time when i was at my absolute bulkiest bulk you're gonna be looking like the kings of comedy and then by the time it's a ride arrives i'm gonna be tracy mcgrady in the draft yeah i'm afraid of you motherfuckers but that's good though like better to have it at your biggest so you can get it taken we can take it in but it's just another thing where you know come olympic time come the opening ceremony you're gonna i probably should have waited a little bit because i i didn't tell him that i'm doing two a to make the olympics do you think it's gonna impact the podcast in like a negative way if you're like gone for competing no not at all you'll just do zoom episodes no i will be here oh you're not gonna miss the pod don't you worry oh okay by the way there's no chance i make the olympics the hell can't be like so negative on yourself well i don't want to worry about that you know we're not gonna don't you worry don't you worry that was his main thing is he's not gonna miss the pod well if you don't miss the pod i'm fine with you competing yeah i've gotten like four custom suits from a place called enzo customs and there it's it's fantastic but i just like that there's an italian guy's name involved yeah enzo yeah is that the where you get all your like plaid ones yeah that's right i got some plaid ones i'll just go to the book they give you a book of fabrics oh and i just try to find the ugliest fabric but ugly fabric with a well-fitted suit makes for a debonair look oh that's cool yeah i dig that very classy yeah that's nice yeah yeah i can't wait till you get that suit what color did you go with i went with like a sort of a chocolatey brown actually wow i'm a big brown guy very draper you're a big brown guy i'm a brown guy that's a very brown guy yeah dawn coated um i what fabric that's what the money's for it's this um it's uh a light wool autumnal i suppose it's gonna be hot no i think it's something that is all seasons that works for a man for all seasons a man in full you ever read any of those books what bonfire of the vanities or man in full no tom wolf no other good books man i'm reading the sequel to the terminal list right now jack carr good book sounds like ass now it's really good well it sounds like ass well it's not we'll sell it then all righty guys let's talk about cash app cash app now offers managed accounts for kids ages 6 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prepaid card sutton debit flex card and bank partner prepaid cards issued by sutton bank and the bank corp debit flex card savings and offers provided by cash app a block inc brand parents and legal guardians can open a managed account for kids six to twelve visit cash app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures i should notify i should let everyone know really quickly that um i have decided that i will not be going on tour this fall and uh i'm sorry to anyone who bought tickets i don't really have it in my hands i'm sorry to anyone who bought tickets in me to uh to tour i don't really feel like i have the material i want to focus on my work here at barstool and boy dad so uh i apologize legend anyone that bought tickets oh that's great for us yeah i'm gonna be uh devoting my energy here i have inherited all of francis's dates so keep the tickets dates and material he handed me the hour over as well yeah memorize this memorize this verbatim yeah how does that make you feel really phenomenal very relieved really i'd imagine yeah i don't know a single stand-up comic that likes doing stand-up comedy i like doing stand-up comedy i hate touring it's so draining is it i don't know i mean i did it for like 10 years i've done it for 10 plus years and uh i just got used to it but you after a while you sort of take stock and realize like boy the amount of time that i spend away especially it being on the weekends is making it very hard for me to like develop meaningful relationships or oh you're choosing love well i don't have anyone but so many of my relationships have sort of died on the vine as a result of my continued absences and uh i don't know i think it's time for me to like i don't i just i just think my future here is brighter than out there and um i'm excited to the podcast is doing so well like i want to put energy into creating supplemental material around this and i have some fun ideas for stuff that i want to do at barstool and uh i don't know i just like this more i really do sass i we're gonna need you to uh give up your tour as well so we can all spend time together on the weekends well i only have a couple dates for the fall so i mean i'm still pushing for that scotland trip i think that the fucking edinburgh trip that'd be cool that'd be sick there's some good fly fishing over there really good where in scotland yeah i'm going to london in october for the eagles game oh maybe you guys come i would like to do that i hear that there's some great shows going on on the west end right now oh really yeah why don't you he'll go see football and you and i'll go to a musical yeah we'll see wicked you guys yeah you guys can see hadestown i think we can do better than wicked yeah it's phenomenal wicked is phenomenal but it's been around too long it's stale phantom of the opera even staler more stale better though is that something that's phantom of the opera no it's wicked that's wicked dumbass bro you're so dumb so dumb baffled by the the matching outfits i really am green shorts blue crewneck honestly i've worn this pretty much this is pretty much every day him being in the crewneck kind of last episode kind of gave me permission to uh to be like it's long sleeve season oh yeah it's definitely and i can't really wear pants i have to jam pants under this i went out to the fucking river cafe i'd pants squeezed under a fucking brace you went to the river cafe with that thing on yes no way fall in god you're the best swim if with this yeah no i'd fucking be swimming against it i'd be like dragged down did you see the uh seaplane that landed in the east river and started sinking no i didn't of course i did it's it seems as if that sort of thing is happening more and more frequently which means that every time i ride my bike across the manhattan bridge i am looking for a plane crashing airplanes so that i can cliff dive in climb down to the lowest part of the mountain and get to the highest point of the mountain so that i can get to the highest point of the mountain and get to the highest point of the mountain and get to the highest point of the mountain and get to the highest point of the mountain and get to the highest point of the mountain about um the delta the trading cards oh yeah and our thought process is on them i was saying i think they're cool but i would never ask for one because i don't want to hold up the line they went from one of the pirates from one of the pirates and uh they said that they would want one of the pirates trading cards bo said he would ask what are the pirates trading cards what are you talking about the pirates uh the pilots they give out uh they have like that's a punch from uh from the pirates of penzance you've seen that musical right yes sullivan i have seen the pirates of penzance in fact i auditioned for it in college the modern major general they're pretty cool to be honest it is modern i am the very model of a modern major general what is this musical show the facts see bro you don't fucking know anything about musicals with many cheerful facts of the square of the hypotenuse straight cis male so is the modern major general bro he had like 18 daughters the fuck are you talking about bro definitely gay no chance uh francis didn't you have an interesting uh interaction with a pirate as you were leaving a delta flight recently a pirate you should have asked for a trading card because i think it depending on what plane you're on i think that some of them are actually worth like a couple hundred couple hundred yeah eight three eighty pilots like uh getting a minted jordan card from unc exactly but i we were debating if they have specific cards for the plane or if it's just random you get a random card i think they have the cards for their plane that's what bo was saying but i was saying how would there be any value to them if if everyone that took an a380 could just get the a380 card well maybe those pilots are told not to come out and give their cards away very often it's true they don't give them out at all you have to ask also i would imagine that there are fewer a380s in the fleet of delta planes versus the smaller ones yeah definitely so presumably fewer people are flying on those maybe what happened a380 sits almost a thousand thousand a thousand souls is that right yeah a thousand it's like 930 or something like that good for you for knowing that no i don't know it's either like 890 or 930 we need to know tyler how many people does a380 sit soul what is the soul it's the it's the largest soul uh plane soul plane yeah back to bernie mack it's the second bernie mack we've had 853 souls passengers and crew oh oh in a single class all economy layout single three class layouts 525 damn that's because they're making so much money on the people up front yeah yeah uh francis what was your interaction with the pilot well i got off a nice delta flight coming back from uh the internet invitational and i landed in la guardia and i was walking through the terminal and a delta pilot who had who had gotten off of his flight from somewhere else and was you know had his nice hat on and that short sleeved button down shirt that they wear and the black trousers and the sweet roller suitcase he came out to me he goes no way and i was like yeah way and he was like oh dude my wife and i we love your videos you also you were so great in tires and i was like oh my god you're so great in tires and i was like oh my god you're so great and i was like did someone pay you to do this because for a delta pilot to be complimenting me and fawning over me is the most backwards that's like when spider-man comes out at a kid's birthday party you know me is so backwards to me i was like i i i have been such a fan of you guys and what you guys do for so long that this is very back he's like can i take a picture and i was like yeah as long as you share it with me yeah uh and he took a picture and uh went on his way and i was just like it was the coolest thing that's happened to me in a long time yeah that's the top dog that's the white whale the delta pilot should have asked him to come on the pod we need to get one we do need to get one we need a delta there's probably delta pilots that listen there's at least one delta pilot that has listened to this podcast during a flight they get leisure time while they're up there i've been on private planes and i've seen guys playing candy crush they're always playing candy crush they're always playing candy on a huge uh ipad bro i think candy crush might be the most popular game in the world yeah you guys should have a challengers candy crush i think we really need to you should be playing there's probably people who are so good at candy crush that we we don't even know they exist bro what's up with older women playing games on their phone dude yeah my mom was just bro my mom was just crushing a game it was the most colorful game i'd ever seen every flight that i've been on in the last like two months i'm sitting next to like an older lady just ripping games on her phone yeah they do and they a lot of the time they'll play them with the sound oh yeah it's very like uh i've never seen anything like it well i'm happy for them it's like they're they're fine they finally have a chance yeah it's like they're playing like they'll play like solitaire clash royale subway surfers the clans yeah they're playing like they're playing like they're playing like they're playing like they're subway surfer they'll play anything what was going on with clash of clans when it had like it would have like a major time slot nfl commercial with kate upton in it or some shit like that clash of clans at its peak was fun as fuck how much money did were they making oh billions how in-game purchases billions i guarantee it's it's still i think it's still the biggest i think it's still the biggest game in uh on the app store 10 billion lifetime rev wow you were right i don't know why i laughed but i mean at their peak what did they ever have a single year where they cleared a bill i would assume so i mean bro it was so fun getting the notification so fun you're getting raided 1.32 billion so are we calling that billions wow if it's 1.32 billion in one year is that billions i think we're gonna give harry this one yeah they made billions they made over 10 billion um i want to get into the game rust you guys ever you guys ever see that game no it's like kind of like clash of clans but it's like uh more it's like a first person shooter but like apparently it's one of those games where you you spawn in with like nothing you spawn in and it's just like a naked dude and then you like build a whole village and shit with like a team of people that you're playing with but the server you're all it's always active like it's always online so like you'll wake up in the middle of the night and you're you're you're playing with a server and you're like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die your village is being raided and you guys are getting you're getting like fleeced for everything this sounds like a healthy way to live and then you got to like call all your bros at like 3 a.m and be like yo we got to get on like we're getting we're getting fucked up oh it's in real time it's in real time and you're it's a multiplayer yeah oh wow what if one of your bros is like uh has a job you're fucked he's not about it you have to get your unemployed gang so you're gonna get this together how are you even going to play video games this weekend with all your bros land are you actually yeah they're bringing setups for that no no no but we will we'll play some black ops 2 on the split screen um where are your friends staying my apartment all of them none of them are staying with nate well nate lives he has an apartment so he'll stay at his apartment and then someone will sleep on the couch and bo's bringing an air mattress um i'm gonna be away i'm gonna be in maine with my family if one of them wants to stay in mine they're welcome to i'll specifically bo yeah yeah i'll pass it along peter's can't did you leave some beans behind for bo yeah there's beans but i don't want him touching the machine really he doesn't know how to operate yeah you'd fuck that thing up don't touch that machine bo you'd break it does he have your permission to try to trade the beans for something like a cup of coffee showing up to starbucks with a big thing of beans i'd like to barter what was the what was the exact trade in jack and the magic bean stock i think it was three beans three magic beans for a peso was there a cow that's involved there might have been a cow oh jack trades milk milk cow for a stranger for some beans magical beans and then he goes all the way up and realizes that there's a cannibalistic giant wait we can't we're gonna spoil the odyssey if we keep telling this story all right all right okay the cat that's true get out of here steve steve's getting angry steven's ornery all right thank you guys for listening we will be back next tuesday see you next tuesday goodbye