The Caulkroach Problem | Son of a Boy Dad #429

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I went to this really cool steakhouse, this Argentinian steakhouse called Graciela. Oh, Graciela. Hot new restaurant. It's hot? Hot. Hot. It's the spot. Hot spot. Where is it? In New York City? West Village. It's in the West Village. Yeah. It's a hot spot. Mm-hmm. And we sat down, and our tables, naturally, being New York, were pretty much communal. Yeah, sitting with another group. These two girls that were to the left of us. It was me and my buddy. And our table had a tiny wobble to it, just a tiny wobble, you know? And for some reason, I looked under, and I could see that the wedge that they had used had come loose. And so I reached down, and I started fixing it myself. And I got it under and fixed the wobble. And just as the staff was coming over to say, oh, do you need us to do that for you? And I said, no, no, no. I put out all my own fires. And then I noticed the girls started to smile, right? Oh, interesting. And I turned to them, and I said, I fixed everything myself in case either of you is looking for a husband. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. And they giggled. Very bold. Yeah, it was good. It was at the end of. Yeah. Well, then later on. Did you sleep with any of them? I didn't. I didn't sleep with any of them, because I didn't know them well enough. Oh, okay. Yes, gentlemanly. Later on, I remember at one point, some of their food came out, and I said, what'd you get? And they said what it was, and then they ate most of it, and there was a little bit left. And I said, you guys going to finish that? Oh, yeah. It's a classic. Classic. Yeah, of course. But for you. And I was like, no, I don't want it. But you actually did want it. I did want it. Yeah. I wanted it. You're just too polite. See, they wanted to sleep with you. But you're just too much of a damn gentleman. Yeah. I'm husband material. I'm not a one-night stand guy. You're not sleep on the first date type of guy. If they needed me to fix their roof leak, then yes, I would have been willing. Yes. If they needed some cock in their walls, just not cock in their vagina. Oh, yeah. I was just using some cock this weekend. Were you? Yeah, yeah. I got the hands dirty. What was the guy's name? And cockroaches. What are you insinuating? He busted all over your hands? Cockroaches busted into my apartment. I had to cock them out. You cocked out the cockroaches? You're actually, that's how you're doing that? Yeah. You're cocking holes? Yeah, it works unbelievably well. You're sealing the exits. Yeah, I haven't seen one since. You're putting them in a now-use-can't-leave situation. You're locking them in and beating the shit out of them. No, I got a whole routine, whole ritual. How'd you look up what to do? Look up. It's all up here, brother. No, it's not. Do you think this is just a hat rack? Yeah. I do. I do. There's no way that you inherently knew exactly what to do with some roaches. Bro, I've dealt with the roaches before. I've defeated the roaches plenty of times before. You have never defeated the roaches. I've absolutely defeated them. They are a recurring enemy in your life. This is the hardest they've fought. I will say that. Harry versus the roaches is Israel versus Palestine. It is a battle that will go forever. Well, after we're gone. Yeah, it's really. Because this is my first time dealing with the little ones. What are those ones called? The Germans? Germans. The Germans. I've never dealt with the Germans before. The Germans? Yeah, I've only dealt with the big ones, which I'd prefer the small ones, to be honest. You're going to need the United States to join in on this fight. Yeah, we might. To beat the Germans. The GI, those are the Germans. So I've been dealing with the Germans only in the bathroom. What is this, a game of Risk? Because at my old apartment, I had the Big Johns. I don't know what those ones were called. I think there's a full graph on the left there. What are the big graphics cards? It's bringing up the starting five of the cockroach family. Those are the Russians, probably. Yeah, something like that. I don't know what they're called. Giants? Giants. You got the Giants? No, I don't think I had the Giants. Oh, Long Japaness? Oh, no, I didn't have nothing like that. If I had those, I would leave. Oh, they've got wings. Yeah, I would just leave the apartment if I had those. You can't caulk the Giants out. They'll just fly around the long way, come in through the window. They'll knock on the front door, disguise as a maid. Housekeeping! They'll send you a photo of your door dash, so you open the door and then come right in. They'll storm in. They'll gift you a big wooden horse. He doesn't know about that. He hasn't seen that yet. No, of course I have. No, I haven't. But the, so like the big ones I had in my old apartment, but it was pretty like, I think I knew where they were coming in from and I had like a gallon jug of Raid and I would indoor Raid, of course. You just had it, you just had it sloshing around? Oh, it was a gallon with a, with a hose, like an automatic hose. So I would walk around the apartment and I would just, just spray like every, it's a barrier. You're creating a barrier. I don't even know what to fucking say to you. That you are like power washing your apartment with Raid. It's not, you're not. It's not healthy for you to live in. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're mistaken. This is indoor Raid. This is Raid specifically for indoors. I'm telling you, that doesn't mean it's good for you to be like breathing those fumes. Well, I would typically do it before leaving for a weekend, something like that. I usually don't do it. So it settles? Yeah, exactly. Okay, fine. I usually don't do it where I'm just sitting in it. Well, I know you don't open your windows. No, I do. Especially when I, after I leave. After I Raid. Well, that's where the roaches are coming from. No, not the windows. They're coming from below the sink or some shit. but uh so usually the gallon jug i would spray you know it's a barrier and it sets up the barrier for like up to like three months or some shit like that it's like when you're putting on a forest fire exactly like burn the the tiny brush yeah exactly and it works very well like you i would at my old apartment i would only ever find a roach and it would be upside down dead meaning it died from poison aka the raid um never would see them alive but at the new apartment i mean these are these little guys are germans the germans are strong they do not go down easy right they've they got a lot of heart a lot of fight in them well they're fighting for something very nationalistic roaches yeah it's really surprising so not happy with how things were left after the last battle exactly yeah because their economy was destabilized they want to make the germans great again far too many concessions yes well let me tell you they're doing a good job um but i unfortunately i'm doing a better job so like you have wmds exactly exactly so i got i mean i got everything i got the i got the roach motels i got the liquid traps the big thing my new thing this year is the gel bait the gel bait is apparently that's what the top dogs are using the exterminators are using that it's just like a big ass syringe of gel and and you like spray it like you line like cracks with it where you think they're coming from and it's a process it takes a little bit you can't wait for the results you gotta wait wait for the process to you know work they they take the gel they bring it back to the to the nest uh everyone dies everyone they bring how did why did they bring it back to the nest because they're rolling in it they're covered in it no that's just how they operate i think what they think oh we found some new thing and we want to we want to show everyone they think it's food so they bring it why do they think it's food what do they eat anything they'll eat anything yeah they all they're looking for is water and like crumbs so why would they think that gel is food i don't know i haven't i didn't dive that deep into like what makes you have not not known what's going on for one second in this conversation this is the most knowledgeable i've ever seen no no now i don't know a hole in your thought process so it's natural for me to assume you'd have an answer no i don't unfortunately i don't this is very new to me as well the gel bait um the gel bait but so i put the gel bait everywhere because i i have like a i mirror in the bathroom and every time i would open it up there would be one german in there oh one little tiny german in there the germans are all over your toiletries and stuff well no i was like i i moved them out because i was trying to figure out the situation get it all handled so what were they going in there for i don't know i i think they were like hiding in there or i maybe that's where they were coming in from i didn't i really didn't know but i was only seeing one at a time which would be dead no it would be alive oh that's scary no but it's not because they're like this big i don't know they're like the size of a fly you've become very uh brave to your enemy i would know if it was the big ones i would be freaking the fuck out these little ones trust me you would have no problem handling these guys okay it's just the sheer quantity of them is the problem sure when you're in the west village it used to be trench warfare yes and you it would be like you guys you fought for three years and neither of you like made a foot forward no no but i'll tell you what i will take this over mice every day of the week okay because why because they're not furry and cute because they're not they have they don't have like a heartbeat fucking mice i think i'd rather have mice than roaches no you wouldn't no i really don't like roaches bro i'm so disgusted about there's one bug this big in my bathroom you would rather have a mouse okay so when you need to kill that bug what do you just ball up some paper towels or something you squish it no i just squish it throw it in or grab it throw it in the toilet with your bare hands no i just squish it throw it in the toilet with your bare hands no i just squish it no with a toilet with toilet paper that's what i just asked yeah yeah oh okay there's something about the crunching they're they're so small they don't crunch i'm thinking they're gonna crunch no you're thinking i'm telling you you're thinking of the big boys i think you're not squishing hard enough which is why they're not actually dying and they're climbing out of that same one of toilet paper and coming back to life you're not doing enough this is how i know you boys don't know roaches you're not supposed to squish and kill the roaches because that spreads the eggs what if you if you smoosh them on surfaces you're risking you're risking you're risking eggs bread so how are you killing them flush you you ball up and put toilet paper you squish and flush i don't really squish i more grab and then throw you it sounds like you're bare handing these i would never in a million years you just you just said i grab with a toilet piece of toilet paper between two fingers that's like two like that's that you're you're basically touching the exoskeleton no it's thick it's very thick grabbing by an antennae yeah you're grabbing by a single finger you're grabbing by a single finger you're grabbing by a single finger you're grabbing by a single antennae i think antennae maybe the plural so it's antenna probably antennae antennae but anyways i got the cock out and i pulled my cock out and i filled those holes up real good under the sink because there was a couple crap there was a couple holes where like the pipes come in and i just shoved the cock right in there and i sprayed it all like with all on the cracks and it i mean sprayed it with the raid no no no well i did that originally you went cock and then what on top of it you went cock and then what on top of it you went cock and then what on top of the nothing just cock you just cocked it just cock the smartest way to do it is uh to start giving them ideas that they take back to the rest of the roaches like like indoctrinating them with communism so they take it back to their young colleges yeah and say like we as germans don't have to like fight this fight anymore it's actually we let them take themselves out right yeah crush them from the inside society because then you're gonna have some blue-haired germans coming out yeah you're gonna be smart to see that could make them start to believe that this is not actually their reality oh yeah find out where they have their spinning top where they go to spin it and make it spin forever incept them i like this yeah until they're just the old roach waiting to die alone you're waiting for a gallon of raid you don't know when it's coming but you know it will take you back to where you want to be i was looking at like the lows or home depot whatever website or uber eats or whatever and uh they were they had one thing where it was just like a bomb like a smoke bomb that you just throw in a room and lock it up just like and it just kills everything it says it goes into the walls bro i was like i don't think i can do that i don't think i think the neighbors might say something or die yeah yeah it says it's for inside though at some point in this podcast i was going to ask you why you once again sounds sick but i don't think i need to ask that question no i don't do i sound sick yes you sound incredibly stuffy tell me i'm wrong run you have a little bit of no stuff going on very very congested again and it's because you've been huffing fumigated roach repellent for in so many different methods no repellent hasn't been sprayed sprays gels no idea spreading sprays and bombs have not gone down in almost over a week almost over a week so less than a week almost over since the cock went in i have i have not done anything because the cock has been working overtime it always does if we could take just a brief moment to note that the two of you are wearing the exact same outfit yeah wow holy fuck what's going on here insane it is present tuesday where did you get that uh or are you going to give us your louis vuitton bag i had a present and i forgot to bring it i've noticed that you've uh you've been going through it mentally so i wanted to get you and this is actually it's it's a communal present for the entire studio uh a pet bro what is that an emotional support cat that freaked me out oh my god it's real a full emotional support cat can i see what the hell is that an emotional support cat for the pod this is it squishy squishy squishy well give it a pull on the head isn't that nice i don't know if it's nice like a stretch stretch armstrong it's a little gooey yes it's very gooey it's a little wet where the hell did you get that a sex store some freak shit throw it to sass throw it to sass i don't know if i want to collect it i just want to hear what hear him catch it what the hell is that is that one of those things that you like put in like a cup of water and it like expands no no no it's like a squishy these are all the rage this thing is disgusting these are all the raid right now they're all the raid give it a squish touch it a little bit that's all you what do you mean it's all us at the bottom yeah it's collecting a little bit of hair already this might be the thing that if you gave it to the roaches they could bring it back to their leader and start eating it and they'd all die yeah that's pretty good there that's a big giant nasty it's made of peep material yeah is it edible probably i'd bite it you know i don't want to take it back to my clan there's too much hair on it there's some that's That's going to collect some hair. Yeah, big time. should not be that loud where did you get this thing japan yeah i went to japan this weekend to grab us i don't know you're always going somewhere to japan to grab a stuffy is that what it's called a stuffy no they're called something else revealed it these no it's not a stuffy it's like so they're called something they're like and when you go to toy stores these are like the most prized possession i thought is that the same shit as those like uh i keep on seeing those videos of those people with like the the circular box a squishy a squishy kitty yeah it's a squishy kitty that's a mega squishy kitty squishy kitty a little bit of a tongue twister not really mega squishy kitty say it five times fast it's so disgusting where did you acquire this from the internet no no shot what are you talking about you ordered it online yeah no you didn't what the fuck else would i buy this you think i'm going to brick and mortar to get a squishy kitty i don't know i don't know did you get it for one of the kids did you get it for the kids and they and then you realized they rejected it yeah it's like a choking hazard how could they possibly joke on that it's kind of an interesting it's like a futuristic material it really is you think that they're like getting rid of material like they're running out of materials and then they come out with a squishy kitty like this it's really bizarre the fur texturing is incredibly well done it's very realistic why does it look so like the fur looks so real and then you touch it and it's not even close to what you would expect it to feel like it's futuristic boys get your paws on this cat yeah show them back oh man things heavy it's jarring it's truly jarring that how jiggly the squishy kitty yeah i don't fuck with that at all what are you talking about not for me honestly yeah my wife was like get this out of the house oh yeah you got it for was it for the kids no it was never for them you just bought it for yourself i mean no i just bought it to kind of like to have i didn't know it's kind of one of those things you don't know what you're gonna do with it it has such a powerful energy there's no way oh nice you guys are throwing that thing don't dissass it's fun to catch too everything about it is fun like i don't understand why what what everybody's aversion of it is aversion to it is we should get a knife and cut it to pieces and then we can cut it to pieces and then we can cut it to pieces and then we can cut it to pieces and then we can cut it to pieces and then we can cut it to pieces the eyes you know it'll spawn you know that if you crush us uh all the eggs will leak all over the place or not it will it probably would too there's probably something inside of it is that what it is is like that you bought something illegal and they sent it in this in the squishy kitty cut it open yeah it's like a fake id is inside of it it's made of cocaine it's made of pure cocaine by the way did you guys see those penn state those sweet penn state students there's a big drug ring at the 14 frat kids were arrested because they were making the pledges cut and bag cocaine that's hilarious the the that's what the pledges should be doing yeah there's like one main dude who was behind it and uh his dad was also in on it his dad was also arrested his dad was like transporting the the the yola what were they cutting you with um that's a good question i'm not sure that's the that's the real that's the real question you're saying like what material or like baby like put a fence in it or are you saying are they using were they cutting with knives is that your question no no i mean what are they cutting it with got it not what are they cutting it with yeah look at these these what frat was it kappa sig guy i think sig kai you wouldn't expect that from sig kai bros yeah they're usually fucking rock solid that used to drive me so nuts when people would be like no no these guys are these guys were kids these are good guys uh they're they're good guys they would never do this yeah this is 22 jump street meets blow what's blow what yeah you don't know what blow is movie yeah it's uh it's a it's a instant classic johnny johnny depp oh we've talked about i think we've talked about this movie on the podcast no we never have no we definitely have not one time i gotta watch blow not one time have we no i'm pretty sure we've had this exact conversation it's all right though i wouldn't hate having it again it's a good movie dude i'm sharing the uh this the sig kai they did a house tour i'm sending it to tyler right now they just did a house tour and everybody's like that must be where they were fucking chopping the imagine like american gangster the frat houses at penn state are so i just sent it to you tyler um it's like there's there's no it's just all like the bottom of that it's all just like a sticky hairy floor it's so foul is that how the finals clubs were no not at all right no no stick to the floor no these floors are exclusively stick the one riggs was in had a basement that was oh right floor because that's where all the partays were yeah where you'd partake in the party yeah he was in the fucking hey bro and then there was one other that was bad too the owl yeah it was pretty sticky but for the most part it's not uh it wasn't it wasn't too gross every single one at penn state there's not one that wasn't gross it's fucking foul years ago i went to perform in richmond did you ever do that club in richmond virginia i don't think so i can't remember what it was called but a lot of people went but um one of my buddies had a younger brother who was uh at the university of richmond at the time and he and 20 of his frat brothers came to my show and then the next day they had this thing you know one of them had a house the three or four of them or whatever they lived but it was also where they had all their parties because they had gotten like kicked off campus or something oh yeah and it was halloween weekend and their whole pledge class and all of them were playing this game of full contact capture the flag basically where the rule was like if you could steal the other team's keg tap and bring it back over to your side you would win the game either that or if you threw up on the other team's keg you would win the game there are two ways to win the game wow okay and i watched this yeah i have videos of it where were you watching from like a hill in a neighboring town like you were a aristocrat observing a civil war battle i was watching it from a deer blind no one knew in a ghillie suit telescope yeah and uh i mean they were really like they were like almost full on fighting each other throwing each other around nosebleeds like tossing each other into bushes throwing up on each other it was insane i've never seen anything like it this is richmond yeah yikes richmond's a big time party school yeah it is those school those small schools like richmond trinity those are the schools that you know kids go to and do drugs those are drug schools yeah not like penn state which is a drug school it's a clean school i think they're all drug schools really big small yeah but there are some there is like a level of like mid-sized school where like the people who were good at partying in high school go to be good at partying in college yeah and have money and it's those schools you have a certain amount of money and it's like i want to take my partying to the next level yeah i want to be a pro partying there should be recruitment networks for partying like there should be nil money for the best partiers do you think more people are doing cocaine now than are than like they were in like the 80s i think it's the same yeah oh you mean versus the 80s probably less yeah probably but i do think that like a lot of people do from the 90s through the 2000s through the 2010s through now cocaine is about the same would be my really yeah kind of well there's some people like um you ever hear the statistics of like you eat seven spiders throughout your entire lifetime while you're sleeping yeah but then there's the thought that there's somebody who's eating a ton of spiders and like throwing off the numbers yeah there's somebody like nikki smokes in the cocaine community who's doing so much cocaine excuse the sample size yeah well they say like even if you don't do cocaine you'd usually do at least an eight ball right throughout your life throughout your life while you're asleep you snorted in i think harry eats 13 cockroaches a night in his sleep no no shot that's why you're so congested and that's why you don't want i'm congested from all the cocaine that i've been doing the cockroaches are using him as the trojan horse they're they're they're all within your body right now i think it's crazy though like there is a lot of uh like i'm no i've never done coke it's not i'm not a drug guy um but it seems like it's like everyone does it tyler could we look up you know cocaine usage in america over the decades and whether or not how do you even find that like how is that even accurate yeah who's reporting yeah it's probably like seizures size of seizures amount of overdoses not a lot well that's all from the fentanyl right but i mean they can track it or they'll put out like us a poll an anonymous poll like have you used cocaine in the last year i just know those numbers aren't accurate because everyone's just gonna say no that's not true yeah what would you say well i don't know i haven't i haven't used cocaine in about 15 years so what if they what if you go in that said have you used cocaine in the last 20 years would you say yes or no yeah i would say yes no shot why not because why would you so much easier to say no well because i want them to have the right data so that people like me can get the answers to these goddamn questions right second tired it's the same reason that i like always consider donating to wikipedia even though i don't you should i want there to be proper information out there yeah you should donate yeah you go on the cocaine the cocaine exit polls 1980s peak cocaine use reached historic highs during the 1980s fueled by both powder cocaine and the rapid rise of affordable crack um then in the 90s it dropped public health campaigns harsh or legal penalties and a cultural shift against the drug caused usage rates to fall steeply through the 90s that's what reagan ran on right making crack more affordable yeah yeah long-term drop federal estimates indicate that overall consumption and the total number of regular users fell by roughly half compared to the mid-1980s peak current usage remains a fraction of 1980s levels though numbers fluctuate slightly year by year it's because they were putting that bull junk in it if they had just the uh if if it had been legalized and regulated off the rip then cocaine would still be pure oh man i love i love a nice line cut up with some roach gel because then you bring it back to your frat brothers yeah some dried cock get some cock mixed in there let me get some of the german roach coke i thought that so why everybody's talking about the 80s being the peak but wasn't like sigmund freud doing cocaine they were but that that was medicinal back then that was why they did it it was pure but somehow when uh it was like fucking uh sherlock holmes did it it was their version of adderall right i thought there was another version of adderall that they were all taking in like the 60s like uh like ben's yeah like what was like jack kerouac ben simmons adderall didn't exist in the 80s uh i'm strong no some crazy fucking shit that they were all doing but it is all the same i mean it's all just amphetamines yeah you boys know how it is come on now of course i'm not an i'm not an amphetamine person because it works too damn good no it makes me oh yeah that one ben's a dream that's what like uh yeah benny's couple benny's ben's a dream yeah that's what jack kerouac uh took and then he wrote on the road in two weeks that wasn't he's a dickhead selling benzadrine diet uh t-shirts yeah benzadrine diet merch with get a copy of the book get a free benzadrine diet shirt by the way part of my takes book is out now oh yes go check that out that did you guys see the return of uh billy i didn't watch it yet on jake marsh's yeah yeah we should get him on this show to be honest i don't think he's coming back he would love to come on this show seemed real he seemed real happy yeah working working getting his hands dirty he's a farmer now soil yeah he's a farmer he tills the fields that's the cure to happiness that's the cure that's the cure to sadness or depression you just got to get dirty get your hands dirty get some calluses you know francis was talking about losing 10 pounds bro he put out this video of him eating shirtless in his car he you your pecs go to the middle of your neck i've never seen it before i've never seen it before i've never seen it before anything like it your pecs fucking meat at your fucking adam's apple what does that mean what does that mean you just have like good or bad you have the most peck definition i've ever seen come on a line that goes all the way up to the top of your neck yeah i don't know where the 10 pounds is gonna come from you got no 10 pounds unless you just get like like runner skinny i'm gonna get super cut i uh i actually yesterday i went to the gym twice in the morning and in the night and i think if i start doing two days i'm about to be a problem well your joints are definitely gonna hurt then not if i not if i'm careful you're gonna hurt yourself and you're not gonna lose weight how dare you actually the answer who talks like that if you're are you i wish injury upon you and i want you to not achieve your goal i do not wish injury upon anybody um but if you're are you lifting twice a day no i lift in the morning and i'm not lifting twice a day i'm not lifting twice a day and i do cardio at night okay okay this is how much cardio i'm gonna just shade on something here that i've already told ron about and i'm not gonna talk about it much but i'm just gonna say quietly right now that there is a current percolating dream long shot chance that i'm going to try to be an olympian in 2028 oh okay love it well then you gotta up it you can't be that's where this is all coming from you're laughing at him but like it's uh it's i'm not laughing at him oh you just guffawed yeah you chortled it's eerily possible it's attainable it's eerily attainable what what what sport i'm not even gonna say the sport i'm just gonna go on it you don't want other people to start trying pretty much i think we need to keep this net small until i've got the jacket on can you tell us at least is it winter or summer summer it's the 28 28 28 summer games in la and what does the process look like to get in sorry is this distracting yes you're petting it that's my cat is your emotional support stuff even yeah brought steven in from home today oh cut it out i don't like that he loves that no way he loves when you pat on the head you can hear it it's like you can hear it it's like um what does the process look like to get into the olympics like you i think you probably got to start going to like qualifiers and stuff pretty soon i have a tryout in september oh my god in september over labor day weekend i'm giving up my labor day weekend to go try out is it a one and done type thing like if you like what if you fail can you try out again i think it's a little bit of like a rolling process to be honest with you the problem i have right now is that i've never played the sport i've never played the sport i've never played the sport i've never played the sport but and i don't even know where i would play the sport it's not as if it's like something where i can go yeah yeah you know trying to think of what find a pickup game pull up a list of all the sports like shot put or no no it's not on your own it's a team sport it's a team sport yeah i don't really you guys will figure it out but i don't want to say anymore is it volleyball no no i'm not gonna say anymore i'm trying to think of a sport where like the people that are doing it like wouldn't like the skill gap's not that crazy but like volleyball i would assume is probably pretty tough to do yeah that volleyball you gotta play d1 and then and then be really elite at it we're pretty insane i'm also my problem right now is that i'm 37 which means that in the summer of 2028 i'll be 39 and even though i'm in decent shape brady played till he was 45 he did but he was consistently treating his body with the highest energy and the highest energy and the highest end technologies and treatment teams and things like that throughout but you also got to think you haven't been competing yeah you haven't taken any hits you've never been sacked exactly somehow i'm i feel worse though yeah but that's natural but you haven't there's no there's not as much wear and tear like you're you're still hovering around maybe 25 physically yeah your bio but your biological age is probably 25 you may be right about that i don't know i i don't feel great i mean whenever i go i'm trying to ease in that's where these like two days are coming from yeah but i don't know if you can really ease in if we have tryouts in september yesterday i did a workout in the morning which was accumulate 100 burpees where uh starting on every whatever minute you do three pull-ups uh you do six push-ups and nine air squats and then you do as the next two minutes yeah i hate that and it was impossible i hate those like you do that you do like strictly that like i did that i did that and i only got to 75 burpees and i couldn't continue i was literally like i cannot get down i can't get down and do more so i had to stop but then in order to punish myself for not completing the workout i did the assault assault bike i did the assault assault bike to bata what did you eat for dinner after that um well i went out to that argentinian steakhouse which i gotta stop doing that do you think that because that's not gonna be part of my olympic diet but but i was gonna say do you think that you need to be cutting right now if you're preparing for the olympics i think that if i'm gonna play the sport that i want to play uh i need to lose at least 10 to 15 pounds i think i need to be a lot lighter because it's it's a lot is it pickleball you have to be very light to play olympics - Olympic pickleball. - Is that like a new sport? - It's like being a jockey. They're always adding shit. Yeah, they just added flag football. What a franchise. Yeah. Yeah. Surfing. Table tennis. Squash. Canoe slalom. It's canoe slalom. I got it. I'm going to be a canoe slalomer. No, I don't even know. That's crazy. Canoe slalom. Is it Jude? Hey, Jude. Judo? Lacrosse. It's cool that lacrosse is in it, but apparently they're doing sixes, lacrosse sixes, which I don't even know. I guess that's going to be like the rugby sevens. I don't know why they do that for the Olympics. Yeah. Didn't they take baseball out of the Olympics? I don't know. I mean, it's. Yeah, it's out of there. Yeah. I know they did like. Remember they did like the 3v3 basketball? It's like, what the fuck is this? Was that in the Olympics? Yeah. It still isn't. Oh, wow. It's very odd. It's like we have the. Okay, so we got the best basketball. But now we got some guys who are pretty decent at 3v3. We have some crafty whites. Yeah. We have the IPA. Like, don't you think if anyone that was playing in the real basketball Olympics played in the 3v3, that team would just win automatically? And they'll do their best to convince you that it's a completely different sport. They're like, no, there's backdoor cutting. Yeah. Like that flag football quarterback. Yeah. Who's like, Mahomes doesn't know. Like, it's a completely different sport. And then Tua Tungavailoa's little brother, his little brother came in and then immediately, like, won the qualifying tournament. Like, not even Tua. His little brother that played at, like, Maryland. Yeah. That's crazy. Not even a pro. Just like a regular guy who went in. The plays in flag football that they do are sick, though. It's all laterals. They're, like, throwing the ball in the air and, like, tipping it to each other. Yeah. It's kind of fucking gnarly. A lot of style. 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That's Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A F-O-L dot com. All righty, let's talk about Lucy. The Lucy Breakers are intense, long-lasting flavor that actually satisfies. Lucy Breakers, they have a little hydration capsule on the inside. You bite into it and the flavor pops out. Bite down before use to pop the flavor capsule and unlock the full Breakers experience. A satisfying click, a rush of new flavor, and a pouch that feels unlike anything else in the category. Breakers are built to stay vivid from start to finish, apple turns icy, berry gets a blast of citrus, and mint gets even more minty, creating a refreshing flavor experience that lasts longer and stays more interesting than the ordinary pouches. Lucy's are great pouches. I use them. We have everyone at Barstool that uses pouches, uses them. They're very good. They come in a different range of milligrams. You can get four, you can get four, and you can get eight. You know, they have the whole range. Something for everybody. Lucy is the only pouch that delivers long-lasting on-demand flavor. Get 20% off your first order when you buy online at lucy.co slash boydad with code boydad. And here comes the fine print. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Ron, I haven't seen you without a hat on in I don't know how many episodes. Yeah, what the fuck? Well, it looks great. Thank you, brother. Why don't you do that more often? I don't know. I hadn't, I didn't think about it. You look so good. You look so pleasant and happy. It's nice to see your face. That's so nice of you. Thank you so much. You've got a nice, warm, welcoming face. I was, there was a period of my life where a group of women, they called me as a nickname Apple because they said my face looks like an apple. Really? That sounds, that feels mean. That does feel mean. That feels like bullying. You look great. Harry's face, on the other hand, reminds me of just looking at him is like looking at a stop sign. It's like being told, no, without the words. Yeah, it's a stern parent. Just a face full of disdain and rejection, cynicism. Crazy. Meanwhile, I'm full of welcoming. Welcoming. I'm like a welcoming apple, like the apple that the snake gave you in the Garden of Eden. The most welcoming apple. Ron, can we talk at all about what's been happening in Surviving Barstool? Of course. Of course. It's been a great few episodes. Have you guys watched any of it? I've been watching the clips. I haven't, I haven't. I watched, I think I watched the whole first episode. I've watched a number of the like elimination votes. Yeah. I sort of skipped to those. And then, yeah, that's kind of what I do. I saw the clip of Brandon talking about, talking when Nick got voted off. Yeah. And he's like, y'all better have not done what I think you did. Why did that bother him so much? Because he's friends with Nick. Nick's his best friend. So that's it? It's just a friendship thing? Yeah, Nick's his best friend. And Nicky Smokes did it. Why did Nicky Smokes vote Nick out? I think he knew Nick is good. And so he wanted to get him out of the game. Well, that's probably a good move. No? Yeah. Yeah, definitely. It's deeply personal. The Wednesday night episode is a sick episode. I guess it's out by the time we're talking about this. But it involves just the most amount of scheming that I've ever done. Spoil that shit for us. Huh? Spoil that shit. If it's already going to be out. It's already out. So they're trying. They're all. I'm on a tribe with five people who I don't know or who I haven't been with the entire time. They stayed together. I got dropped onto their tribe and led by Pat, by Gay Pat and Gay Feidelberg. They're all trying to get me out. They're like, they're like, we're we're getting you out. They basically like sat me down and told me that they're going to get me out. And I'm like, why not Dante? And they're like, Dante is not good. And I had to like, I gave them like an impassioned, like fucking Hitler speech. I mean, like, you have to keep me in the game. I want to be in the game so bad. Alex Jones. Yeah. Alex Jones them to death. And they eventually like with the help of Tommy and Brandon Walker, they, they, they, they kept me in the game. It was very. You just threw pure passion. You saved your place. I saved my place through pure passion. They didn't know that I had a fucking idol at that time though. So why didn't you just say like, okay, I accept that you're going to vote for me and then use your idol to. Did they find out you have the idol? No, none of them knew that I had the idol. So do they know, do the viewers know at this point? Viewers know that I have the idol. Well, why again, was there no part of you that thought like I'm cooked no matter what I might as well just like tell them to, to vote for me and then use my idols. I wanted to save the idol. So I was like, I'm going to try so hard to save the idol. What? They didn't know is I had the idol to play no matter what. So either like basically I was playing to save one of them. Cause if I play the idol and nobody knows, then like I could just take whoever I want and get them out of the game. You had to use the idol in this vote. No, I didn't have to use it. I saved the, I was able to save the idol. Boy, that takes some balls, man. Yeah. This is like, it sounds like such a stressful game. It's a nightmare. Like, like, did you, like, I feel like you got to take like Adderall for this game. I don't, I didn't take any Adderall. Are you just like firing on all cylinders? Like it just constantly just like. It's the most calm my mind has ever been. I'm not even kidding. Like there's no part of me that was really that stressed. I like, it like charged me up and excited me to be able to play the game at that level. Like it was just like, I was just like enjoying, like rushing to everything. Yeah. I was like Francis at the Olympic trials. Like it was like, I felt like I was home. Yeah. I feel like the beginning would be not stressful because you're like, I'm not going to win. Who gives a fuck? And then I feel like the further you make it, you're probably start like, Ooh, I don't know. Now I'm in, now I'm in it. I'm actually like, that's how I was for the most dangerous games. Like I was like, there's no shot. I'm even going to come close. So who cares? And then I, next thing I know I'm top three. Given the, given the best speech that's ever been given in reality. That's ever been given. And then voting myself out accidentally. How did you do that again? How'd you vote yourself out? I voted for Tommy. And he voted for me. And he won at one point. And if you have voted for, who else was in the final? I think Smitty. Yeah. No one voted for Smitty. So if you had just voted for Smitty. I would have won. Or I would have, or we would have tied. I don't know what would have happened, but I think if we went to a tiebreaker, I would have won. But yeah, I voted for Tommy cause I assumed no one was going to vote for Tommy. So I was like, it was just a dead vote. I thought it was going to be between me and Smitty. That's a miscommunication. calculation on your part. - Big man, and the crazy thing is, like i barely thought about it like i was like yeah i'll just vote for tommy like that sounds right and then i just lost i i in in this game i thought i thought about everything so much and every permutation if you guys get a chance go back and just watch the tribal of the second episode because i'm just like it's marty and glenny and i knew that anika and meek phil were trying to vote me out and so i'm just grilling marty and glenny being like who the fuck who are you voting for just tell me who you're voting for and i got the information out of them just through sheer will they said you i well i know they said they weren't voting for me but i'd had to like double and triple confirm that because i was so scarred from last season when we were double crossed by uh like ria and like dave and big cat and they're all like yeah we're voting for you and i took them at their word the first time they said it and i was like i'm not taking anybody at their word the first time i'm giving them every chance to show me the slightest uh like little maybe indication that they might be lying and then i'm gonna fucking uh like use the idol if i have to so i had the the idol at that point how did you i'll even say then like how did you know how did you trust based on their answers that you could just not play your idol in order to and you'd be fine because glenny's a paisan i made him swear on his mother and then uh and then he gave me like he nodded he did like the robert de niro like frown when he nodded i mean that's just the weight of his cheeks though dragging the corners of his mouth down but like if there's a lot if there's a hint of a lie there he averts eye contact or the side of his mouth like you know something happens and so i asked these questions so many times about what was going on that i gave them the chance to like tell their story against their story and it's like i'm comparing the notes of what they're saying uh to themselves so you were really analyzing these guys i was not like not psychoanalyzing in that like it's like uh it sounds like you were psychoanalyzing no i was i analyzing like a psycho is what i'm saying i mean you were looking for look at this no that that's what i'm grilling him that's what i'm grilling marty fundamentally more intelligent is this what's happening like you just mentally it sounds like you just yelled at them until you believed them yes definitely not more intelligent but but less worried to uh like make a uh like i wasn't worried about making a that's that nod right there i was like glennie am i okay yeah because i was ready to play the idol and he just and that convinced you yes that was all i needed to see look at that look at that when he says it like that you could tell that is not a lying man that is not a lying man when he when his arms cross just fucking nods at me that's hilarious that is not a lie and it's like when you but i could have burnt the idol right there dude i have dreams still where you know i know i'm getting voted out and somehow i hand my idol to you right before i exit the game that's so nice of you well i should have done it instead i just tried to like miraculously save myself only to get caught in a web of utter like host nonsense like lying you know rule fucking beautiful bullshit that was a top that was a top surviving moment ever no they they have been putting out all these instagram top moments top idol plays top tribal moments and you're in all of them for that same moment and you honestly to your credit like were debonair at the death and you said like no i realize i'm out and we're able to kind of like not fully if i was if i was you in that situation i'm flipping every fake stump on that set there's a part of me that just wishes i had just fundamentally physically attacked jeff delo and just like caused violence i would have i don't think they're who can pull me off that oh i'm in olympic shape right now yeah true even then you're in incredible shape your best case the best athlete left over there is mooby she would have to try to uh rear naked choke you off i'm in olympic shape right now yeah true even then you're in incredible shape your best case the best athlete left over there is mooby she would have to try to rear naked choke you off yeah and your hair's long as hell in that my mine was very long yeah that was uh yeah they were all so proud of themselves all those people who were so proud of themselves for creating this like uh unlosable situation and they're all chummy and getting along and then at the fucking finale it's like all of them hating weeping weeping hatred and like life ruining revelations yeah it seems like uh like how are you able to live in both of those realities yeah it seems like people get really upset when they get voted off or like blindsided but i i always get confused which also i've never played this game so i don't know like i'm sure you get very emotionally invested but it seems like people get like surprisingly angry and then like they're like actually mad at the person in real life it's it's so it's such horseshit everyone that works here says you know if they if they vote someone out or backstab someone they're like that's the game it's part of the game yeah but then if it happens to them they're like i'm gonna murder your children we're never gonna speak again you're not good at your job i'm gonna talk to dave and get you fired yeah and it's like it's just as simple as like no it's all personal it's all gonna be taken personally and nobody can avoid that there have been a few times where people have not taken it personally i didn't take it personally but that's because you kind of took it personally no i didn't i remember picking you up from the airport in dc and you were like rudy is dead to me that's that's that's that's that's most dangerous game show yeah yeah i took that personally yeah i definitely took that personally surviving because of how personally i took most dangerous game show i was like i'm not gonna put emotional stakes into this i'm not gonna invest myself emotionally in this i'm just gonna try to have fun and win all the challenges i can and then i'm assuming i'll get voted out and i did and that's why i was able to click back into that like i accessed that promise to myself yeah the moment i was being fucked in the ass and you can watch that uh access happen live on camera because you're like in the you're realizing not only are you getting voted out but you're getting screwed out of like a uh quote-unquote miscommunication yeah you got loopholed you got loopholed bad well i didn't get loopholed i got like loopholed the host like after the fact you got insider traded it was like what happened in the real time was a complete blurring of the lines or not even it was a it was an overstep of of the rule and then after the fact they retrofitted a like an understanding to make it so that the host and the rules people hadn't just fucked me but they did yeah you know you got fucked bad i was like if i get voted out of the game the idol dies and jeff was like yes it will die if you're not in the game and then he's like well when i said that it was true it's like come on yeah yeah that was bad don't you dare don't you dare you got fucked you got fucked it happens i think some some people have been able to take it um like uh uh gracefully this season like danny jackal just got voted off and she was able to take it extremely gracefully she just like kind of good for her didn't cry yeah that's class i like annika didn't cry i think hannah didn't cry ella cried but like hannah montoya oh yeah okay i was thinking about there was the uh the golf girl i was like was she in this hannah cook no hannah montoya but then none of them cried which like last season four or four women cried way too much crying last year nails on a chalkboard it's really brutal it's so brutal yeah something for entertainment people are just but that's some people's entertainment is crying not me some people love a tear i hate tears really yeah save them why do you hate them so much ted hawkins style really yeah i think it's i mean it's it's good tv stop you're crying the producers were probably salivating i will say this season has been um not it doesn't have the star powers last season but the gameplay the challenges the uh everything else that you want to see as a survivor fan has been in this season yeah it's like almost a better season what do you think about like the alliances like when i've always wondered that too when people do the alliances and they're like we had an alliance and it's like yeah but you knew like it only one person can win yeah that alliance is gonna crumble yeah but i think when it happened so early on you're like well you didn't have to do it to me yeah like you could have we if we had an alliance like even nick nick is like the most even keel well-liked person and i think that's the thing that's the thing that's the thing that's the thing and he was like when did you see when he walked out yeah he was like what are you sorry for fucking me over he said that to uh nicky smokes yeah yeah and people were giving nick shit it's like nobody understands how that feels and also the show is not as good if you don't care as much yeah the show is better because nick cared that much yeah it is uh it definitely is because like i've never done it so like i'm saying all this stuff but i'm assuming yeah when you're in it it's probably it's probably pretty fucking annoying to get voted off like that right imagine if meek phil and dante had double crossed you oh i'd kill them both you would kill the don wouldn't have a choice dante uh reached out to me and said he was ready to bury the hatchet oh that's good from the whole chicago situation what's the hatchet when we went to the cubs game with big cat uh remember francis got the text and he was like yo where are you at just got here oh and he was at dinner with ella yeah yeah but he made it seem like he was at dinner alone power move and that i had stood him up alone yeah yeah and we were at the cubs game and i was like what do you mean where am i i'm at the cubs game yeah honestly the worst thing me and you should be more insulted by that entire scenario why that dante didn't invite us to the dinner we're equally visiting like francis is yeah but i mean i don't really have like a close relationship with the dawn i like dante and i go out to dinner we've done yeah yeah yeah you've done you've been to dinner once you probably had one dinner with dante in your life i don't think so well you're only one behind francis they're best friends that is true yeah i guess i probably have had dinner near dante yeah that's what i mean and he didn't invite you so it's like what why like are we chopped livers like why if he's inviting katie canella what was going to happen at that dinner i feel like you're going to get tapped for like the party society i like that crew i like that the three of them are chums what an interesting group of friends i like that yeah it is an interesting i really like dante so i'm glad he's willing to sort of forgive me he's coming in and out of the room and i'm like oh my god he's coming in and out of the room and i'm like oh my god he's coming in and out of the room and i'm like oh my god he's coming in and out of the room and i said we'll go out to dinner and i was thinking of taking him to the restaurant dante oh and be like i got you a restaurant yeah yeah that's fine i made this for you uh dante came to brooklyn and he was like any good brooklyn uh recommendations i'm staying at whatever hotel he was staying at you could probably guess which hotel dante would stay at the one yes and uh the uh and so i made him like the most comprehensive list of places that he could go or hang out or different types of dinner options that he could go to that were close or uh around him look at look at how look at how comprehensive and like well organized that is good for you miss eight is really good yeah i mean look bro look at like coffee breakfast this is for dante it's good yeah only in brooklyn so it was like coffee places near him wow lunch places just completely comprehensive he didn't go to one place he didn't go to one place that i recommended to him wow is that a trash list is that knock it huh i said you can't knock it why because sometimes you know you just you find somewhere that you think looks good oh you went all broken this is awesome yeah i don't want you to send this to me it's all brooklyn maybe he wanted to get out of the borough i mean you you've been just about i mean one of those places not many of these uh bars and clubs and stuff the nightlife you know i i it occurred to me like sometimes i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know get these uh things on instagram that are like the five coolest bars in new york city right now and i'm like i haven't been to a bar in new york city in years just a good old-fashioned pub like a bar where you're like let's people watch and and talk to people oh talk to strangers yeah meet strangers all i just go to restaurants yeah i don't fuck with bars no mo um yeah if i was getting hammered i would definitely like going to a bar but going to a bar sober is it's just so brutal what about the mocktails they've gotten good yeah would you like a mocktail son precious little juice box at the bar my mocktail is basically a capri sun with crushed ice yeah and like a tahin rim mocktails do nothing for me it's just you're just standing there drinking juice drinking a shirley temple a shirley temple delicious of course it is uh francis you brought me to a bar before we went to dinner that one night where did we go it was like a speakeasy oh yeah we did yeah we did do that was nice i forgot about that okay yeah so that's fair we went to a bar we went for one we got one drink before dinner yeah and we didn't we weren't it wasn't the intention of meeting other people i haven't done a bar where that was the point in a long time i'm gonna have to do that this weekend where because the fellas are coming i'm dreading it you're dreading your friends coming to town no i'm pumped for my friends to come i'm dreading the evening that they want to go out because i know it's just going to be are you going to be in qu or are you going to uh explore different boroughs i think they want to go to manhattan should i say why don't i send you the list i sent dante i don't think they're going to go to brooklyn they wouldn't go to brooklyn you have to damn near go through brooklyn to get to manhattan lower manhattan damn near taking the train what about greenpoint that's near where you live right it's close you guys should go to carl's uh sober bar in greenpoint we'll be there carl radke yeah carl radke has a he has a yeah yeah he has a non-alcoholic bar in greenpoint really what if you took them there and didn't tell them that i should let's bring it on them that is completely i've been meaning to tell you guys i'm concerned about your drinking so we're gonna start here none of us are drinking this weekend actually i saw lev drink a full na beer this weekend thinking it was a real beer and he started acting goofy right yeah he started acting like he was hammered he's like i'm feeling good i was like that's all that's an na bro started dancing yeah it is such a funny thing to do though when you're drinking like you've done that i remember you did that with the peronis yeah i tried one once yeah it was devastating no you said you were pre-gaming for a concert i bought i bought a six pack of peronis then they were zero zeros yeah i thought you had three of them i thought they were heavies i thought they were peroni heavies peronis like that's like a classy you feel like you're outside in europe drinking nice because i was getting drunk off the butt like the vibes alone oh yeah and i still feel good that was when you went to the um to the paramore podcast yeah i went to the paramore concert got there late and they were done singing songs it's just an unreal night i'm making gaming with zero zeros and getting to the concert and they're sitting down talking it was in a venue too where like it was standing room only and i had to go to the balcony and like stand behind people i wasn't even belly up at the balcony i was like peeking over people's shoulders to get like a glimpse of hayley williams hair but i am going to when hayley williams comes back into town at forest hills next month i am going to be there oh really yeah she's going to perform there yeah is it paramore josh will be there josh who alan oh you're thinking hayley steinfeld that is who i'm thinking about come on bro come on now who's hayley williams lead singer from paramore oh okay you're not a paramore guy nope he'd love them actually i i would go to forest hills to see hayley williams i love paramore do you actually yeah well what about her solo stuff i've never listened to it i've only ever listened to her what kind of fucking color is that i've only ever listened to the paramore stuff her her i mean her solo music's great i'll have to catch up it aligns with you politically too of course read the nipple she just performs with a regina george cut out of her nipple just a nipple poking through shirt free the nipple conca nipple yeah we uh we got this football season we should go to a bar okay doesn't that sound nice yeah it does but i want to go to like a cool classy hotel bar with leather and darkness they probably won't be showing football there no they won't be so you want to just go to a bar during football but we're not going to watch i want to watch it on our phone i want to be like don draper at a bar i might start wearing suits yeah yeah you guys think that's a good idea no you should wear a suit with like a t-shirt like you're andrew tate yeah mr plenty yeah you should go with you should wear a cobra tate mr plenty suit dude i gotta i gotta mr plenty i bought a suit um at that sample sale that i went to all like a couple years ago where i bought all that shit and i bought a suit off the rack it was you know 75 off so i thought okay and then i went to my dry cleaning place and had the tailor bring it in where it needed to be and fit it to me or whatever and then i wore it to a wedding and nothing has ever fit me worse and i was like oh this was a mistake yeah you can't do this yeah i bought a i bought the suit off the rack at macy's and it's fits like a glove i know you're saying francis you need to have it it just didn't work at all for me so recently as well i went on um my buddy lawrence from throwing fits i was like dude i need to buy i need to get a suit he was like you got to go see jay muser and jay i went there and i'm getting fitted i got fitted for a custom suit and it wasn't as much as i would have thought actually it wasn't that bad you 800 1000 a little over a thousand maybe oh really yeah no it's actually not as bad as i would he cut me he cut me a deal they were really nice to me nice that's cool um but anyway the point is is that i'm getting fitted for this custom suit and i'm deeply concerned about the weight loss that i got fit for it at a time when i was at my absolute bulkiest bulk you're gonna be looking like the kings of comedy and then by the time it's a ride arrives i'm gonna be tracy mcgrady in the draft yeah i ain't afraid of you motherfuckers but that's good though like better to have it at your biggest so you can get it taken we can take it in but it's just another thing where you know come olympic time come the opening ceremony you're gonna i probably should have waited a little bit because i i didn't tell him that i'm doing two a days to make the olympics do you think it's going to impact the podcast in like a negative way if you're like gone for competing no not at all you'll just do zoom episodes no i will be here oh you're not going to miss the pod don't you worry oh okay by the way there's no chance i make the olympics the hell can't be like so negative on yourself well i don't want to worry about that you know we're not gonna don't you worry don't you worry that was his main thing is he's not gonna miss the pod well if you don't miss the pod i'm fine with you competing yeah i've gotten like four custom suits from a place called enzo customs and they're it's it's fantastic but i just like that there's an italian guy's name involved yeah enzo yeah is that the where you get all your like plaid ones yeah that's right i got some plaid ones i'll just go through the book they give you a book of fabrics oh and i just try to find the ugliest fabric but ugly fabric with a well-fitted suit makes for a debonair look oh that's cool yeah i dig that very classy yeah that's nice yeah i can't wait till you get that suit what color did you get that suit i don't know i went with like a sort of a chocolatey brown actually wow i'm a big brown guy very draper you're a big brown guy i'm a brown guy that's a very brown guy yeah dawn coated um i what fabric that's what the money's for it's this um it's uh a light wool it's autumnal i suppose it's gonna be hot no i think it's something that is all seasons that works for a man for all seasons a man in full you ever read any of those books what bonfire the vanities or man in full no tom wolf no oh they're good books man i'm reading the sequel to the terminal list right now jack carr good book sounds like ass now it's really good well it sounds like ass well it's not we'll sell it then all righty guys let's talk about cash app cash app now offers managed accounts for kids six to twelve that grow with them all the way to adulthood all with no subscription fees because building money habits shouldn't cost extra the account runs through you so you're not just watching money 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issued by sutton bank member fdic and the bank corp bank na pursuant to a license from visa usa inc see terms and conditions from the sutton prepaid card sutton debit flex card and bank corp debit flex card savings and offers provided by cash app a block inc brand parents and legal guardians can open a managed account for kids 6 to 12 visit cash app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures i should notify i should let everyone know really quickly that um i have decided that i will not be going on tour this fall and uh i'm sorry to anyone who bought tickets i don't really have it in me to uh to tour i don't really feel like i have the material i want to focus on my work here at barstool and boy dad so uh i apologize legend anyone that bought tickets oh that's great for us yeah i'm gonna be uh devoting my energy here i have inherited all of francis's dates so keep the tickets and material handed me the hour over as well yeah memorize this memorize this verbatim yeah how does that make you feel really phenomenal very relieved really i'd imagine yeah i don't know a single stand-up comic that likes doing stand-up comedy i like doing stand-up comedy i hate touring it's so draining is it i don't know i mean i did it for like 10 years i've done it for 10 plus years and uh i just got used to it but after a while you sort of take stock and realize like boy the amount of time that i spend away especially it being on the weekends is making it very hard for me to like develop meaningful relationships or oh you're choosing love well i don't have anyone but so many of my relationships have sort of died on the vine as a result of my continued absences and uh i don't know i think it's time for me to like i don't i just i just think my future here is brighter than out there and um i'm excited to the podcast is doing so well like i want to put energy into creating supplemental material around this and i have some fun ideas for stuff that i want to do at barstool and uh i don't know i just like this more i really do sass we're gonna need to uh give up your tour as well so we can all spend time together on the weekends well i only have a couple dates for the fall so i mean i'm still pushing for that scotland trip i think that the fucking edinburgh trip that'd be cool that'd be sick there's some good fly fishing over there really good fun where in scotland yeah i'm going to london in october for the eagles game oh maybe you guys come i would like to do that i hear that there's some great shows going on on the west end right now oh really yeah why don't you he'll go see football and you and i'll go to a musical yeah we'll see wicked you guys yeah you guys can see hadestown i think we can do better than wicked yeah those you hate it's phenomenal wicked is phenomenal but it's been around too long it's stale phantom of the opera even staler more stale better though is that i don't think that's phantom of the opera no it's wicked that's wicked dumbass bro you're so dumb so dumb baffled by the the matching outfits i really am green shorts blue crew neck honestly i've worn this pretty much this is pretty much every day him being in the crew neck kind of last episode kind of gave me permission to uh to be like it's long sleeve season oh yeah it's definitely and i can't really wear pants i have to jam pants under this i went out to the fucking river cafe i'd pants squeezed under a fucking brace you went to the river cafe with that thing on yes no way fall in god you're the best you could swim if with this yeah no i'd fucking be swimming against it i'd be like dragged down did you see the uh seaplane that landed in the east river and started sinking no i didn't of course i did it's it seems as if that sort of thing is happening more and more frequently which means that every time i ride my bike across the manhattan bridge i am looking for a plane crashing airplanes so that i can cliff dive in climb down to the lowest part of the bridge jump in and rescue people me and the fellas had a great talk last night about um the delta the trading cards oh yeah and our thought processes on them i was saying i think they're cool but i would never ask for one because i don't want to hold up the line they went from one of the pirates from one of the pirates and uh they said that they would want one of the pirates trading cards bo said he would ask what are the pirates trading cards what are you talking about the pirates uh the pilots they gave them the tickets and they give out uh they have like that's a punch from uh from the pirates of penzance you've seen that musical right yes sullivan i have seen the pirates of penzance in fact i auditioned for it in college the modern major general they're pretty cool to be honest it is modern i am the very model of a modern major general what is this musical show the facts see bro you don't fucking know anything about musicals with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse straight cis male so was the modern major general bro he had like 18 daughters the fuck are you talking about bro definitely gay no chance uh francis didn't you have an interesting uh interaction with a pirate as you were leaving a delta flight recently a pirate you should have asked for a trading card because i think it depending on what plane you're on i think that some of them are actually worth like a couple hundred couple hundred yeah 8 380 pilots like uh getting a minted jordan card from exactly but i we were debating if they have specific cards for the plane or if it's just random you get a random card i think they have the cards for their plane that's what bo was saying but i was saying how would there be any value to them if if everyone that took an a380 could just get the a380 card well maybe those pilots are told not to come out and give their cards away very often it's true they don't give them out at all you have to ask also i would imagine that there are fewer a380s in the fleet of delta planes versus the smaller ones yeah definitely so presumably fewer people are flying than those maybe what happened a380 sits almost a thousand thousand a thousand souls is that right yeah a thousand it's like 930 or something like that good for you for knowing that no i don't know it's either like 890 or 930 we need to know tyler how many people does a380 sit soul what is the soul it's the it's the largest soul uh pilot in the fleet of delta planes so i don't know if it's a plane soul plane yeah back to bernie mack it's the second bernie mack we've had 853 souls passengers and crew oh oh in a single class all economy layout single three class layouts 525 damn that's because they're making so much money on the people up front yeah yeah uh francis what was your interaction with the pilot well i got off a nice delta flight coming back from uh the internet invitational and i landed in la guardia and i was walking through the terminal and a delta pilot who had who had gotten off of his flight from somewhere else and was you know had his nice hat on and that short sleeved button-down shirt that they wear and the black trousers and the sweet roller suitcase he came out to me he goes no way and i was like yeah way and he was like oh dude my wife and i we love your videos you also you were so great in tires and i was like did someone pay you to do this because for a delta pilot to be complimenting me and fawning over me is the most backwards that's like when spider-man comes out at a kid's birthday party like you know me is so backwards to me i was like i i i have been such a fan of you guys and what you guys do for so long that this is very back he's like can i take a picture and i was like yeah as long as you share it with me yeah uh and he took a picture and uh went on his way and i was just like it was the coolest thing that's happened to me in a long time yeah that's the top dog that's a white whale the delta pilot should have asked him to come on the pod we need to get one we do need to get one we need a delta there's probably delta pilots that listen to me and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna there's at least one delta pilot that has listened to this podcast during a flight they get leisure time while they're up there i've been on private planes and i've seen guys playing candy crush they're always fucking candy crush they're always playing candy on a huge uh ipad bro i think candy crush might be the most popular game in the world yeah you guys should have a challengers candy crush i think we really need to you should be playing there's probably people who are so good at candy crush that we we don't even know they exist women playing games on their phone dude yeah my mom was just bro my mom was just crushing a game it was the most colorful game i'd ever seen every flight that i've been on in the last like two months i'm sitting next to like an older lady just ripping games on her phone yeah they do and they a lot of the time they'll play them with the sound oh yeah it's very like uh i've never seen anything like it well i'm happy for them it's like they're they're fine they finally have a chance yeah it's like they're playing like they'll play like solitaire clash royale subway surfers the clans yeah they're playing subway surfer they'll play anything what was going on with clash of clans when it had like it would have like a major time slot nfl commercial with kate upton in it or some shit like that clash of clans at its peak was fun as fuck how much money did were they making oh billions how in-game purchases billions i guarantee it's it's still i think it's still the biggest i think it's still the biggest game in uh on the app store 10 billion lifetime rev wow you were right i don't know why i laughed but i mean at their peak what did they ever have a single year where they cleared a bill i would assume so i mean bro it was so fun getting the notification so fun you're getting raided 1.32 billion so are we calling that billions wow if i want to get in touch with you i don't know i don't know i don't know 1.32 billion in one year is that billions i think we're gonna give harry this one yeah they made billions they made over 10 billion um i want to get into the game rust you guys ever you guys ever see that game no it's like kind of like clash of clans but it's like uh more it's like a first person shooter but like apparently it's one of those games where you you spawn in with like nothing you spawn in and it's just like a naked dude and then you like build a whole village and shit with like a team of people that you're playing with and then you're like oh my god i'm gonna get but the server you're all it's always active like it's always online so like you'll wake up in the middle of the night and your your your village is being raided and you guys are getting you're getting like fleeced for everything this sounds like a healthy way to live and then you got to like call all your bros at like 3 a.m and be like yo we got to get on like we're getting we're getting fucked up oh it's in real time it's in real time and you're it's a multiplayer yeah oh wow what if one of your bros is like uh has a job you're fucked about it you have to get your unemployed gang so you're gonna get this together how are you even gonna play video games this weekend with all your boys in town land are you actually yeah they're bringing setups for that no no no but we will we'll play some black ops 2 on the split screen um where are your friends staying my apartment all of them none of them are staying with nate well nate lives he has an apartment so he'll stay at his apartment and then someone will sleep on the couch and bo's bringing an air mattress um i'm gonna be away i'm gonna be in maine with my family if one of them wants to stay in mine they're welcome to i'll pass it along but specifically bo yeah yeah i'll pass it along peter's can't did you leave some beans behind for bo yeah there's beans but i don't want him touching the machine really yeah he doesn't know how to operate yeah you'd fuck that thing up don't touch that machine bo you'd break it does he have your permission to try to trade the beans for something like a cup of coffee showing up to starbucks with a big thing of beans i'd like to barter what was the what was the exact trade in jack and the magic bean stock i think it was three beans three magic beans for a peso was there a cow that's involved there might have been a cow oh jack trades milk milk cow for a stranger for some beans magical beans and then he's like oh i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know he goes all the way up and realizes that there's a cannibalistic giant wait we can't we're gonna spoil the odyssey if we keep telling this story all right all right okay the cat get out of here steve steve's getting angry steven's ornery all right thank you guys for listening we will be back next tuesday see you next tuesday goodbye you