The Bride, the Best Friend, and the Baby Bump | MALIBAG

(upbeat music) - The Pod Network Entertainment. (upbeat music) ♪ Did you wake up with a sense ♪ - Welcome to the "Give Us That" podcast. ♪ Disappointed it was straight as an X ♪ - If our love is clarity, then why? I, if our love is sanity, hey. - If our love is insanity is tragedy. My remedy. - Clarity. - So. - Who asked Zed? - I don't know, but so, again, I want to. - How did they get this? - This episode will be about weddings. - Ooh. - And. - And how it can drive you insane. - How people will become insane. - I can attest to that. - We can give like really, really helpful advice. So if you're listening to this and you have a friend who's going pretty crazy, please make them listen to it because we shall try our best to help. But anyway, we came from a beautiful, beautiful wedding. The complete opposite of crazy people. Ali and Rachel's wedding was so beautiful. - So chill. - And they are the chillest people ever. They're the complete opposite of us and most people. - I wish I was such a poster chill, right? I was like, yeah, I'm just chill. I was not. Majelang. I can't believe I was able to, anyway. Well, wait, wait, wait before that. So actually every Monday I do a Q and A on my Instagram. So this is coming out on Monday, right? So Sakto, there must be a Q and A button there, a sticker where you can ask any questions. But one of the questions I often get is by marriage, a wedding planning tip. So maybe we can give a few later at the end of the episode. I doubt we will. (laughs) (speaking in foreign language) - Okay. - So, okay, so. - I will. - Again, I just, so again in during that wedding, of course, that's one of the bangers, right? I just want to ask the serious question, like when Zed was writing this song. Is it Zed? Is it Zed? I don't know. I don't know. - Steve Aoki? - No, so whenever, when this white dude, sorry. (speaking in foreign language) Zed. - So I really didn't deserve, my God. - Diplo or Diplo. I'm not sure. - I mean, he didn't deserve the guy Zed or Swift, huh? - Ah, yeah. - God. - I don't know Zed personally, so I don't know. - I don't know, but most probably he likes, you know. - Anyway, okay, so what's your question? - He's probably like, you know, what was it? Like, yeah, dude. - What's the point of the clarity thing? - Yeah, I guess when he was writing it, like he really thought like, oh my God. - If our love is tragedy, then why are you my clarity? - (speaking in foreign language) because that is a worldwide hit. - I know, I know, I'm just, I'm not, I'm just, I'm just. - (speaking in foreign language) Hot dive into frozen waves. - (speaking in foreign language) - 'Cause you are the piece of me. I wish I didn't need. - Okay, gets. - Chasing relentlessly, still fight, and I don't know why. - In fair, in fair. - If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity? - Sorry, okay. So in fair, in fair, in fair. Okay, I guess (speaking in foreign language) - Featuring foxes. - (speaking in foreign language) 'Cause okay, because you are the piece of me, I wish I didn't need. Chasing relentlessly, still fight, and I don't know why. (speaking in foreign language) - Fuck it, that makes sense. When things are insane, you are the only clear thing. (speaking in foreign language) - Okay, okay, okay, in fair. - That makes sense, Jim. - Okay, okay. - Okay. - Zed hater. - Okay, and another one is, what does it say? (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) - Hot dive into frozen waves, where the past comes back to life. If I fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time. - I'm not bad, I take it back. - Oh, in fairness. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) - Seen engine smugglers. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) - Baby. (speaking in foreign language) - 'Cause a super duper banger, which I love, I will not even question anything about, is. (singing in foreign language) - Hatch. (singing in foreign language) - Hatch. - Hatch. - Latch. - Latch. - Hatch. (speaking in foreign language) (laughing) (singing in foreign language) - Presented by Magnolia Timplados. Here's Michael Bubley. (speaking in foreign language) - Sam Smith. - Sam Smith. (speaking in foreign language) - Sam Smith. (speaking in foreign language) (laughing) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) - Sam Smith. (speaking in foreign language) (laughing) - Featuring, who's the DJ? (speaking in foreign language) - Disclosure. - Disclosure. - Disclosure, disclosure. Okay, anyway, okay. Let's move on. - We're gonna get a little bit of the Malibag. - Okay, Malibag. - Yours. (speaking in foreign language) - I know. My telegram's on my laptop. My mouse, okay, okay. Okay, game. - Okay. - Hi, Pod Mom and Pod Dad. I'm getting married. - Congrats. - To my best friend, literally. Because he's my BFF since I was 16. Oh, who also happens to be a listener. Hi, Bob. Oh, hi, Bob, shut up. But this Malibag isn't about him. We're getting married next year. And as an introvert, I only have four friends. (laughs) Whom I've invited as my bridesmaids. I even did the whole proposal box thing when I went home to the Philippines. I live abroad, FYI. One of my girlfriends who lives in Mindanao understandably declined because she's pregnant and will have a newborn by then. The wedding is in Luzon. I've always jokingly wanted, warned my bridesmaids not to get pregnant again. They're all moms now, and I'm the last to get married. They'd laugh and agree, especially because, well, in this economy, my childhood best friend is one of the three I proposed to. She had a quick wedding after getting pregnant. Honestly, they weren't financially ready. My best friend has a history of only staying in jobs for a few months before residing. And her husband, who's also a happy-go-lucky guy, was working at a local cafe when they were dating. That's why I was shocked when she told us she was pregnant on purpose after only a year together. Because her OB warned her that her picos would make it harder to conceive later. I thought that that reasoning was crazy, but it's their life. When they got married and had my in-a-anak, her husband got a better job at a call center, and my BFF stayed home with the baby. They would sometimes get help from his parents. They try, but they still struggle and sometimes borrow from me. Recently, her husband resigned because of office drama, so my BFF became the provider, while her husband stayed home with the baby since they don't have Ayaya. She's been ranting to me about her toxic workplace, her husband not stepping up and wanting to leave him. My guess, since she's not used to working, the pressure is getting to her. She can't easily resign because she's the current breadwinner. I've been giving her advice and support. Then about a week later, she sent me a photo of a positive pregnancy test. To be honest, I wasn't happy. I was disappointed. Her reason, she stopped taking birth control pills because they were giving her migraines. Like girl, was there no other way? Condoms exist. I just said congrats and asked how she felt. She said she was anxious. The kicker, her due date is the same month as my wedding. I feel upset, but didn't say anything. Just congratulated her again. Told her not to worry if she can't make it and ended the conversation. What else could I say? Is it bad that I'm really disappointed with her life choices? Do I open up to her about it? She's already dealing with postpartum depression as a mom and the pressure of financially providing. I love this girl to death. I've never known a life without her. She's been there since I was aware of the world. But I can't deny I'm disappointed. How do I navigate my wedding prep feeling down about this one part not going as I hoped? - Wow. - Okay. So this is why reading the whole letter is completely different. And I was like, "Where are they?" I thought, I thought, I thought, I thought. I just, again, what we do, we skim. Just to get a feel and then we read it live. So, takes. Gosh, I mean, I think... Where do I start? I mean, so I'm gonna start with putting myself in the shoes of letter sender. Frustration. Valid. Am I right? You're right, aren't you? - I mean, she... - Oh, yeah. Yes, definitely, I want to validate, I want to validate the letter sender even saying, yeah, it's frustrating. You're trying to plan a wedding and... Not even just about that, but when your friend rants about her husband and wanting to leave him and then Big Lang, she's pregnant, it's like, it's frustrating because it's like, I can't really do anything about that as your friend, right? Like, I, not that you're expected to do anything, but just as a person who loves their friend, it feels frustrating. Okay, but also, I want to speak on behalf of past Jim and Sab, who were such horrible... - What? - Friends. - I mean, like, we were... - I was speaking for yourself. - I was a great friend. - I mean, we were very, we were very... Like, why don't we end? - I mean, I'm like... - Huh? Why? - And then we would... - That's not standard. We would hold our friends to such... Because we love them so much and we cared about them so much. We were, how crazy we are about each other and how overprotective we are, I guess, gonna become friends with them. And it translated really not in the best way. - So, I just want to... - Friendszilla. I want to share that because, you know, when I say this, at least you know now it's coming from experience. I acknowledge that there were times that we were going to be irrational and we couldn't really see the other things. Like, for example, the comment about... Can't they just use a condom? Or, you know... So, I want to get there. I'm gonna get there, but I first want to start off by... - Okay, I got to see it. - ...validating our pod. - I think it's right. - It's right. I'm just saying, I want to validate our pod, kid. Letter sender, who's... Yeah, like, all these feelings are valid. We once had those feelings about all our friends with even more shallow problems, right? Like, I mean, not more shallow, but... - Just to say that this is a serious thing. - Yeah, it is a serious thing. And definitely, it is right for you to be concerned and to be disappointed and also how it affects the planning of the wedding. Yeah, and it's hard to say that, you know, the wedding should be at the back of your mind as you help your friend because we're only human, right? Like, that's why I want to say, especially at this point, it's like, you're only right to feel all of these things. I know how frustrating it can be. I personally know how frustrating it can be when a friend is making what I would call poor choices. It's easier when you're not in it, I guess, gets more. - Yeah. - And I think it's just way easier. And I'm not calling you judgemental, but it's way easier to judge than to understand. So I urge you to, because it is human nature, "Menghusga" because "ang dalee," right? So I urge you to... What are you doing? - I'm gonna write notes. - Here, here, here, notes. I urge you to try to challenge yourself and instead of choosing the easy thing, which is to judge, and be like, "Oh my gosh, I would have just used the condom." You know, like that, right? I want you to challenge yourself and be like, "I want to understand what's going on, kaya?" "Makit kaya ganito?" I really love the... It's easier to judge. It's easier to judge. It's hard to understand. - It's really... - But that's the more loving thing to do. First, number one, when we have these big milestones, and I want to get to... This is what I was talking about. You really will start hyper-focusing on this story. And I think it would help. I wish someone told us during that time, but again, just to be aware that you're hyper-focusing on this. Oh my God, yeah. Other people are dealing with pregnancies and dealing with work problems. And we had a friend in F.O. because... Kanwani, like, "Hindi sumi put sa blank," you know? And, like, looking back... - That must have been too harsh. - We're friends again. So, the second one is... I think when it comes to friends, and this is what we struggled with a lot, is the choices of your friends and your family are not about you. It's their choices, right? Like, it's not a reflection. So, I know... And I know... I'm assuming, I'm not... I assume that you somehow feel, like, "Grabe." Like, I mean, that's part of it. "Negrabe," like... "Okay, you're my ultimate best friend and you're not gonna fucking go to my wedding." "Grabe ga." But I think you need to separate those two things. Like, your friend is going through something. She, you know, the wedding is probably on the last. I said the last thing, is the last thing she's thinking of. Most probably. You, on the other hand, that's the only thing you're thinking of, so you're not connecting. So, I would say, you know, like... I wouldn't... I wouldn't... How do you say this? - Okay, okay, again. - I have word vomit ready. - But I'm trying to not say it. - Oh. - Should I say it? - What? It's obvious. Let's talk about the guy. - The guy? Who's the guy? - His wife. - Why? - It's like... - It's like there's something. - Wait, who's the guy? His wife! His friend's wife. Why something? The... The... Lost his job because of office drama? That's so... She's not even focused on that. That's why I would vomit. No, no, no. I don't think that's it. Because if she's willing to talk about that, she would probably say that the guy's a possibly cheater or whatever. I want to say, if my friends think... Hey, husband. What's the plan? What's the plan? That's overstepping. Boundaries, right? Could you go to the husband of your friend and be like... - What's your plan? - That's exactly the opposite of what I'm trying to... Exactly. I can say that I'm not okay with that. But like, again... In our heads... That's like... That's where you want to go, right? - Just saying it. - I'm like... - I don't know. - It's just me. Again, I'm talking as the former guy that would be like... - You want that one? - Yes, what's that? - Right? - Yeah. And now, because I'm older than you, I think... Pod dad advice is like... I wish I could go back to those times and I chose compassion over judgment. Okay, so what I was doing was an example of judgment, right? So going back to trying and challenging yourself, because it's hard. It's hard to just not snap, especially with all the pressure of... You're planning a wedding. It's a lot of pressure, right? I think the challenging kind of understanding, if you try to put yourself in that and like the mindset of trying to understand, then you would ask her these questions in a non-judgmental way. So ask her, because maybe you're not getting all the information. No, I'm just planning. So, like what... I like it that you asked her how she felt. She said she felt anxious. You can ask her further, right? What is it that's making you anxious? What's... I'm just planning. Okay, I think I'm heading towards the storm breaker. But I think a friendly reminder to everyone who's, you know, planning a wedding, getting married, you know, the wedding is just a wedding. -I'm not... I'm not... -It's easy for you to say. Wait, wait, wait. Don't take it out of context. It's not a wedding. It's not... It's not... The wedding is just a wedding. I'm not saying that it's... I'm saying that the wedding is just the beginning, sorry. The marriage is the real thing, right? So, I would hate it to get your marriage on a... to start off on the wrong foot. You have... I would hate it that you're at the ceremony and you're thinking about your best friend and you have spite as opposed to... You can actually talk to her now and reconcile and feel better about yourselves. And this goes also with everyone, like people who won't be able to go to the wedding, people that, you know, like a fucking... sorry, a drunk Tito who says something shitty during the speech, you know, like, all these things will happen. It's not going to be perfect. But if you see things in the perspective of this is only the beginning, this is day one. Cool. Don't think... Because I think the mistake of us, like when we were younger, it was like the wedding has to be perfect, right? And like, things aren't going well. Shit. But at the end of the day, it's actually... I would say there was a level of that, like, oh my God, you know, whatever, you know, the water, whatever, the... yeah, the dress is still in the toilet or whatever. I think it's a valid crash out. It wasn't in the toilet. - So... - I want to build on what you're saying. Yeah, my last point is, it's cool. Make this plan, the wedding, you'll only get married once. I want to clarify if I have. Please make it special. Please invest time and heart and love into it. But just to ease the pressure that instead of seeing it as... it must be a perfect day. See it as, oh, day one, cool. And then put pressure on actually, like, shit, let's make this marriage work and let's surround ourselves with people who will love us and support our marriage. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I got two things. So I want to go back to maybe just very sweetly and gently call you out, letter sender, especially about the comment about the reason for having a child because of the Pico's thing. Again, it's easy for us to judge when we're not in it. So it's, I think it's a different thing. Again, this is the choice of two people in a relationship and it's a medical thing also. So maybe just some, you know, gently calling you out there. No, it's not your place. So, and two, about the wedding. I like what Jim said. Now, this is just the beginning. So here's a hard thing that's going on. Your friends will not be able to attend the wedding. It's hurt. It's hurt. It hurts. You probably don't understand it right now. And I think it's a good reminder that you are getting married for a reason. This is your best friend. And the wedding is mostly going to be about you and your partner, right? So let's look at the silver lining. Sorry. Let's look at the silver lining that your partner is there for you during a difficult moment and the moment that are very hard to understand right now, right? So it's a good reminder that this is just the beginning because there will be more hardships and married couples say that it's going to be really hard, right? Yeah, actually, when I say that, I would rather say it's not, it's not, it's going to be really hard, but you have to work hard on it. There's work involved. And why not as early as now before the marriage begins, surround yourself with people who will support you. So if you feel like these friends are those people, invest in them and invest in being more compassionate and understanding them. Because one day, one day, you will also, for example, you will have a kid or you'll have your doggy or your cat kids. They will also be, they will also not understand you or you'll have younger people who will get married and who won't understand you because they're in, so it's just, it's not, don't question the friendship right, yeah, right away. Question first, like, maybe it is just the difference in life stages and maybe we just have to find our new relationship given this. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Best wishes to you guys. Yeah. Please let us know how your wedding goes. Anapala, quick announcement. We're doing a special cheats show. Pretty cool. Let's finish our tickets. Bit.ly/cheatsday. It's at Linyalina HQ in the base. August 29th. Friday, 8 p.m. We have two bands that are gonna, we're, I'm not sure if we're gonna announce it yet, but it's gonna be a long set by Cheats. Check out Linyalina. We did a two-hour show in Promptu that the whole band was tired and we didn't play for a month after, so that might happen again. So, yeah. And there will be pizza? Yes, there's gonna be pizza by Genus. Because FYI, our first album is 10 years old. So we are celebrating 10 years of that album. So hope you guys can go. See ya. The opinions of podcast creators, hosts, and guests are not necessarily reflective of the official stance of the Pod Network Entertainment, its hosts, or other network programs. The content created by the people behind the podcast is personal and not meant to harm any religion, ethnicity, group organization, company, or individual.