The Bride and the Betrothed with Trixie and Katya

Hi. Hello. You want to be on top? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Have you seen this trend that's like, my photo shoot after I told Tyra my mom died in a fire, and it's like, it's like some, okay, that's a bad example. It's like, I told her my mom died in a construction site, and it's like somebody in their garage. So crazy. Yeah, my mom was butchered to death, was stabbed 17 times, so they have 17 knives hanging out above you. Crazy. There's a proliferation of all the think pieces, which I can't read because I don't subscribe to the 4,000 OnlyFans that these, you know, the vulture and. Substack. Don't say that, don't say that. Wait, Substack has partnered with Polymarket? What's Polymarket? Oh, baby. Just a gambling. Global cryptocurrency-based prediction market. What? So like, I predict, so that Trixie is going to talk like, she's going to say the word cunt 17 times on the pod. I think she's going to say 20. They bet online about that. The tagline. That's weird. Yes, it is. It is very weird. Oh, we can. We can't do that in the first few minutes. In the first few minutes. If we swear too much in the first few minutes, we get. Bleep it. We get. Bleep it. We have to bleep it. Bleep it. Just go, ah, ah. Well, our Pam Bondi episode got blocked because I think people are like, it's fascism, but we're also not supposed to yell the F word immediately. No, it's the Attorney General who's a huge fan of ours listening to the. Oh, she loves us. She's 60, by the way. And she's in bed with the FCC. She's 60. What does that mean? She's 60 years old. Is that good or bad? I don't know. I just love it. Wait, wait. So, Poly. Substack. So, when they. The advertisement was, because journalism works better when. Oh, my God. Can you look it up? Control. So, it just took Substack and Polymarket, and the verbiage is so, like, dark. We are in. We do have to be careful as a society of the senseless collabs. This is exactly. The senseless collabs. It's not senseless. It's nefarious. It's the Chipotle Crocs collab. That actually makes a lot more sense. Because I would love to eat my Crocs sometimes. Right. You know what I mean? But this is, like. This is about journalism and gambling. Right. So, it's, like. It's something to the effect of, like. Because journalism thrives in a gambling market or some crazy shit like that. I'm not, like, into gambling. No, because. No. And I encourage people to, perhaps, not also be into it, because it's one of the most nefarious addictions that ruins lives more than. Sometimes more than drugs and alcohol. I have a friend who had a secret gambling addiction. We didn't know until. Way later. And he was, like, did you know all those years we would go home from bar closed and I would go to a casino? We were, like, no. Same. Somebody in our family, too. It was a shock. Shocking. Scary. Crazy. And also, it can be. Destructive. Destructive. And especially when other people have to foot the bill. Right. Yeah. There have been times in your life where I wish you would have gambled the money instead of do what you did with it. I know. But shoveling into the furnace is so fun. You always joke about burying your money in a hole, but you never do. Wish you would. How do you know that? You don't know where my holes are. Down at Westfield Mall, fucking breaking the bank. You don't. I stole those clothes. No, it's. How about. What about thrifting? What about it? Why don't you buy some used clothes? This is used. Used by whom? Those are my brothers. He handed me down. I have. Yeah. I mean, I have. Well, in L.A., it's tough because a thrift store is a regular store. You go down to the jet rag in a thrifted shirt, it's about $38. No, you got to go to the Goodwill. And Los Feliz, the one that all the human shit outside. Yeah. Yes. But then I got to go to the human shit removal service and get it all, whatever. I don't know. You're right. I think. Yeah, there's too much waste. Secondhand is good. No, secondhand is great. Secondhand is good. Vintage is good. Often, it's not because I have such a challenging figure, such a big body shape. Because of your size. Yeah. You know. Broad. Broad. Doughy. I make my own clothes in drags. But we don't ever see those. We don't ever see those clothes. This is like what I'm talking about. You say, you're like, I'm always at the studio sewing. And then you show up to Netflix in four off-the-rack outfits. But I sewed the hems on them. No, I have been, I have been, I've been making some real shoes. You're getting ready to do your big one. No, well, Michi, the girl I went to Lubbock with, she made me, oh man, she made me this bodysuit that has the boobs attached to it. And it's so beautiful. I wear it around the house. Love that. I saw your story with Michi. I believe I met her backstage. Yes. She's quite beautiful. She's a beautiful lady. Oh, she's amazing. She's, I think she's in China right now. She's doing a world tour for her, for her job. She's so gorgeous. She, and she's so lovely. She makes all the lovely shirts. Oh yeah, that's the, the pod shirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had, I don't know why I didn't bring it today. It was the fucking, the cane one. You saw that one. Yeah. The culture guy. Yeah. But I, I wanted to, I wanted to talk about something that just flew out of my head. Um, can I talk about something else? And then you can tell me to shut the fuck up. Um, I have been really deep. I follow a lot of makeup artists on TikTok. And one of the things makeup artists be talking about a lot recently is weddings. And they're talking about how the expectations of the wedding industry are so high. You talked about it last time. I did? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, I'm going to pivot to something else. Okay, sorry, sorry. So I remember it reminded me of the time when I was doing wedding makeup. I know. Everybody get your laughs out now. I used to do wedding makeup. Everyone laugh. Thank you. So this woman, I did her wedding trial. This was like a core memory that was so buried that when I unearthed it, I both didn't recognize it, but no, I know what happened. I suddenly, I was like, I remember this. Oh my God. I did her wedding trial. She looked great. Beautiful woman. She looked great. And at the trial, the brides would pay 50% and then I would make them pay the other 50% the day of the wedding or before the wedding. Mm-hmm. When her wedding day came, eventually she was like, yeah, I'll pay you when you get here. I said, great. I get there. I do the whole makeup for her wedding. So it's the morning. She's getting married by that. She's getting married at home or she's, she's getting ready at home to go somewhere to get married. So I finished her makeup and her house, all the family photography is her and her kids. And the theme of the photo shoot is money. So they're sitting on big oversized bills. They're holding money. Some of the shoots are them throwing money. Right? That's real classy. So I finished the makeup and I go, you look amazing. You're going to have a great day. Thank you. But you know, it's time to square up, whatever. And she goes, well, this is the thing. I only can pay you the half, the half that I paid you at the trial. And I didn't say this, but what I really regret saying was, what about that money? Could you go get me some of that money? No, no, no. She was like, okay, that's totally fine. Makeup wipe, half the face off. I would never do that. I'm not going to violently assault someone with an eutrogena wipe, but. We don't have to do violently, gently. But I remember just thinking like, you probably could have told me when I got here that you didn't have it. And I probably still would have done it. But waiting till the end. Yeah. No, no, no offense. That woman is a fucking bitch and a cunt. Not to mention you guys at the time she's stealing from the poor to benefit, I guess the also poor. Like I didn't have money like that. With the, with the crass, nasty, tasteless. Like money pictures hanging out. Yeah. It was just like, it was so trippy. I think I drove home in silence and blocked it out. Good. You should have drove into the church and killed everybody in the wedding party. Well, I thought about it this weekend too, because Sunday I drove an hour out of LA to go to a wedding. Oh, that's right. You looked great. Beautiful. And white is definitely your color. Thank you. Everybody said, why are you wearing a white dress and a veil? And I said, well, I'm involved. Um, so I get there five, five o'clock wedding. Perfect time. Get there at four 30. The sun is setting. It's a Jewish wedding. I've never been to a Jewish wedding. Did you wear your, they have the horror, which is, no, that's not right. Is it? There's fabric over their heads while they get married. So there's the hopper. Um, Oh, the whore is the chair in this guy. So the wedding's beautiful. So something you need to know about me when you invite me to something is that I I'm all in. Okay. You might drop into the glass. Um, there's 120 person wedding, probably 140 people. They have parents. I'm crying more than anyone there. And I'm crying so bad that I'm getting self-conscious because I'm like, you're the plus one. You're not allowed to cry when you're not involved that closely with the family. Don't even know their first name. I do know that I'm friends with them, but I was like, I peeped their parents and I'm like, they're not crying. I'm in the back row. Like, I was like, that is so crazy and I'm not trying to cry. So then I'm trying to hide it. So I have my hand like this and the tears that are coming are so, you know, when the tears are so big and wet that they're coming, whether you, yes, you can, you can know they're coming. They're falling. So my boyfriend's with me and he looks at me and he sees I'm crying and he knows I have an issue with this. We're like, if it's, I'm going to cry, just be crying. If something's remotely good. If it's genuinely good, I'm crying. Okay. Mind you, mind you, what? Hello. Come say hi. Oh my God, can I come say hi? Yeah, you can sit right here. Oh, hi. Hi, ladies. How y'all doing? We were just talking about how we fantasize having sex with you. And my fantasies have continued, but hers have stopped. Oh my God. I was talking about Andy on the pod. I was talking about when we were at Plastique and Nymphia show. And I said to him, I said, is it weird for you to see Plastique? And like, do you think of me? And he goes, you know what's weird? It's hard for me because she's up there, but you're standing right here. How's that possible? I love that. I love him. Well, thank y'all. I just want to come and say hi. You know, I'm very jealous. Bob has guested on the show so many times, and I've only been asked once. Bob has been here like once. That's not true. Bob has been here like four times. He's been here a few times. Yeah, he's been here like four or five times. We stopped having guests. Ever since Ginger Man, we can't. Posh's massacre just was like, well, that's how you have a guest. Yeah, she was the last guest after that. Goddamn. Yeah. Well, I just want to come and say hi. I don't want to bother y'all too much at work. Do you have a podcast you could promote? Oh, yeah. Monet Talks. Make sure you listen to Monet Talks. Fuck some of the rivalry. And also, you better have both hands free when you watch this one with Valentina, because you're going to be jerking it. Oh, my God, you guys. I don't know when this comes out. She just shit. Can we say Valentina? Yeah, yeah. Valentina was sitting in there waiting to go in, and I was like, fuck. And I had just literally just watched one of her lip syncs, and I was like, porn. Porn. Porn. Love you, girl. Bye. See ya. Holding her around the middle, I just felt abs. So, I'm crying. Award winning. Okay, yeah. And my boyfriend knows that I get, you know, for Valentine's Day, he wrote me a note. I cried like someone died. Like, stop. Leave the toilet seat. I came down the stairs in my house, like, ah! Like, it was, like, too much. Wow. Toni Collette. No, not Toni Collette. Sarah Paulson. Yeah. Crying. That's Maria Bamford. Right. So, I'm crying, and then I'm laughing, because I know that I shouldn't be crying. I don't cry this much. So, then I'm laughing at the thought of it. So, I'm like this, holding the tears, like this, in the back row. So, the bride comes, and everyone turns around, and because I'm in the back row, I'm in the front to her. So, imagine you're at the wedding, and your music is playing, and I turn around like this. Like, it was so bad. So, then I'm trying not to cry, because it's her wedding, and I want her to have a present moment, and not be like, look at everyone. Why is he crying like that? There's a fag in the background. I know. So, I get through the wedding. It was great. And I'm like, oh, God. So, we go, and we sit down, and there's a cookie table. You started crying at that. I think, one of us is from Pittsburgh, I guess, and this is a Pittsburgh thing, where everybody, maybe I'm wrong. Tracy, Google. You bring cookies at a wedding in Pittsburgh, and at the end, everybody brought cookies, so you take a bag, a cookie doggy bag home of all the different cookies, what they got. Wait, what? So, there's a cookie table with a velvet rope, because you're not supposed to take it till the end. I'm not taking anybody's because. So, I walk by the groom's table, and I go, I know you have a velvet rope, but if I want these cookies, nobody here will be able to get between me and these cookies, so nice try with the rope. And then, plot twist, I got so drunk, I forgot to take home cookies. There you go. But, see, is it wrong? No, it originated in Pittsburgh and Youngstown, Ohio. Cookie table. I think it's cute. It is cute. I prefer money. It's a cookie swap of a wedding. So, the wedding's beautiful. I love weddings. I love an intimate wedding. My brother got married on a porch. There was 10 of us there. I loved it. Cry. I've been to huge weddings. Cry. I love all of them. I just love love. If we're not crying at a wedding, when are we supposed to cry? I went home being like, can I cry at a wedding? Oh, you can cry anytime you want. Just not in the car on the 101. Right. So, well, I'm busy shaving my legs. And doing my mascara. I'm on Coinga Pass. Yeah, I'm crying doing my mascara. Doing mascara and then crying at the same time, because I want that look. So, we go to sit, and then the parents dance, right? So, me and the groom's mom are talking a lot, because she owns an umbrella cockatoo. She's a big bird lady. So, we're talking about birds. We're talking about birds. And all bird people talk about birds like this. They're like, it's a nightmare. You have to get one. It's like everybody with a bird is like, if there's anything I can do to dissuade you. But it's changed my life, and it's like my other child. I love it so much. I lived with a landlady who had a flightless bird on her shoulder at all times. The poop lady. Yeah. I know about that. I know about birds. But what's weird is, this is a side-side note, because I'm getting a bird. This is a side note. I'll get to it later. Are you going to cry about the bird? Of course. But people keep going, don't you know how long they live? I'm sorry, do we get pets hoping they die? Yeah. A pet that will live as long as I live? Why don't you talk to me in 13 years when your collie's dying, and I'll be sitting here with my bird being like, and she's a preteen. She hasn't gone to middle school yet. Right. I don't know why people are like, the birds live so long. I'm like, when your dog dies, I swear to God, you will wish it was living 50 years. No shit. Okay? Yeah. Because I was there with that dog. I was there with that doggy death doula. Right. That was awful. Napoleon. Pour one out for Napoleon. Nappy, little nappy. So cute. But that woman, I'm telling you, she- Kelly Mantle? No. Kelly Mantle has a similar service. She has six or seven bottles of wine. She comes over, she takes your border collie in the headlock, and chokes the life out of it while she watches you. And then just walks out of the house like that? Leaves all the wine bottles, and then just drags it down Santa Monica Boulevard. So then we're sitting here, and I'm like, we're sitting, we're eating, the food was great. Love a wedding with good food. Then it's time for the dancing. And I cry when the dad, the son and the mom dance to that song from that Stephen Sondheim song, Nothing's Gonna Harm You, Not While I'm Around. Not While I'm Around. Beautiful song for a mother and son. Love it. And then the father and daughter dance. The bride's parents are both modern dancers. So an older man who really can dance. Whenever there's an extension. The arm is out. It was like a Fred Astaire swagger. I'm crying from that. I'm crying from all of it. That was the last time I cried of the evening. Just the three times. Just the three. Just the three. Three longer sections. Yeah. Were you wearing makeup? Did you have to repowder your nose? I put makeup on. That's what I mean. I cried so much. I think I had white streaks down my face. And then something I did do, because I'm not flexible, but if the situation calls for it, I can like the grudge out of any situation. So I hear that, oh, they're about to go. It's about to become a cash bar. Extreme backbending. Backflip. Backflip. Sprint. Spin move. Velvet rope. I can get these chunky thighs over that. In five minutes, it's going to be a cash bar. I'm going to need three tequila sodas. Cash bar at a wedding? Well, no. At a certain moment, it turned into a cash bar because they're closing. Who? The bar. Oh. The venue. The wedding was over at 930. Nice and early. But right before that cash bar, I said, I will get in there. Oh, yeah. And you brought your own pail. Right. I brought my own pail. Forget my trough. I have one of those gumball machines. You put a quarter in it, I put my mouth under it, splash in the mouth. You know those love. Oh, my. It was a great wedding. I love weddings. What was the theme? Marriage. The theme of the wedding was marriage. I mean, what's the theme? It was like love. Well, I did just watch this TikTok saying that we're experiencing the trend in wedding right now is classic wedding. Elegant, classic, timeless. And the TikToker was saying that we're all going to get married. We're all going to regret that because weddings are going to all look too wedding-y. I think that might be crazy. I feel like a lovely plain wedding is lovely. The thing about things is sometimes that they are a certain way. And we identify those things because of those qualities. Right. If there's a tux, a white dress, and a white cake, that is a theme. No, it's a baseball game, right? It's a baseball game. I'm okay with a wedding-themed wedding. Also, what it does is it relieves a little bit of burden for the attendees. Of course. Because the theme is like Balkan Baroque with orange. It's crazy. It's not crazy, but it's like classic never goes out of style. That's why they call it classic. Yeah, I love classic. I do too. But the person on TikTok was saying like, I think the response to this is in a few years, we will see more of those fucking dances down the runway. No, we will see like one of the themes that was pitched, not a theme, but like an aesthetic was like vintage. Um, prom in a gym, fabric streamers. I actually really loved that. I like that for a party, a birthday party, Halloween party. You don't like it for a wedding? No, I, I, I, no, I don't. I like, I want the church and the, yeah. So I don't know. To me, when I go to a wedding in my mind, I'm picturing some kind of altar, two people, sides of a family. I want the love is blind wedding to watch. I'm thinking, I'm thinking like at least 13th, 14th century Gothic art. Architecture, cathedral, right? Latin, um, uh, incense, uh, service is probably around three, four hours long. We do, um, my Catholic Catholic, of course. Oh, the Jewish wedding. Stomp on the glass. Yeah. The woman. Okay. Did she get on? This is fierce. Rabbi Janet was taken. No prisoners. Rabbi Janet. She roasted people. No, she goes, Oh God, what was she talking about? There was a part of a prayer that's in every wedding. And she said, what? These other religions don't know is they actually got that from the, from us. And everyone laughed and she goes, is there something funny? And then she cited the passage that I guess gets used a lot. Okay. And she's told a story in the middle of the wedding about the time. A priest gave her a tip to say, use this passage. And she said, well, guess what, honey, I'm a rabbi. I knew it before. You know, it's pussy so tight, like a nun, right? So anyway, she was fun. A lot of acapella singing. Very good job. I was like, okay, work. Um, I love the stepping on the glass. I guess it signifies that just like this glass can't be reassembled, I think it signifies that now that this is a union, your world has changed forever, this marriage. Do you know what they do? I know a lot of Jewish weddings in the Midwest, they just use pookies. It's really easy to crush. And they're easy to come by. In Hollywood, you just put it in a sock. You can walk through Hollywood with a push broom and go home with about a dozen pookies. Mary, I went, I passed the little like smoke shop. I was like, do you have gum? They have, no, just pookies. No. Just pookies and lighters. We have cold glass and hot glass. Pookies, lighter, a little thing on the library, a little like stand. I was like, they have to have gum. I guarantee they also have. Gatorade. Gatorade and Monster Energy, like an energy drink. Oh, they have a million of those like rocket fuel, like going to kill you drinks. Oh, yeah. At this point, I think the straight men are cracking open like a D battery and they're just drinking that. Well, you know what? And this is sad. A lot of parents I know. A lot of parents I know who have like tough schedules and stuff, they bypass the coffee. Mary, they go straight to those fucking monsters because they need energy. I've climbed down the ladder. I'm hugging the like organic black tea more. Oh, see, that wouldn't even register in these people's lives. And they're not drug users. People who have autoimmune disorder, we don't need to be mass consuming energy drink. Well, sure. And it's certainly if you have any type of anxiety. The last thing you want to do is introduce more cortisol as your looks maxing. Right. Can we please talk about that for two seconds? We can, but I have to finish the wedding talk. I'm so sorry. Okay. So then my other favorite part was the part where they throw the people up in the chairs. Oh. So they have the two people in the chairs. They throw up on them in a chair. I pictured like an eject thing out of a, you know. Oh, she never came down. She's gone. Well, they go, we need four big, strong people. And I thought like, I'm not going to be responsible for dropping a bride or a groom. Or lifting. They're so high. She, you know, she hits the same. Flew in the air. Yeah. So, and then everybody holds hands and goes around in opposite circles. I, nobody up in the chairs looked relaxed. No. Everyone's like. It's a trust issue. Yeah. I don't think, I don't, and this isn't about like my body. I would be scared of people who've been drinking in slippery dress shoes. Yeah. Holding me up on a fucking folding chair or whatever the hell. Girl, Labada got on it. She stood on a chair when, when the act, I started screaming. Yeah. Get down from there. Get down. I think I'm just going to, I'm not Jewish, but I'm going to say that maybe at the Jewish wedding, we put helmets on the bride and the groom. Green Bay Packer helmets, just in case. I'll do you one better. Invisible bungee cords. They don't even need to be on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The chair is a very light foam. It just attaches to the dress. And then she just goes. Absolutely. I think instead of the chair thing, they should do pink. We're all going to start. We're going to fight. Rubber bands. So what? And also, I don't want my dad to walk me down the aisle. It's like, as soon as you hear the music, right to the altar. Yeah. Here's weddings. Weddings. Sorry. You were just going to talk about something. Ow. What were you going to talk about? I forgot. Oh, fuck. No, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. Looks maxing. So this is so, oh, it is so, okay. You know, I don't want it like be okay. Boomer. Baby, I got, baby, I got one step ahead of you. The other day I tweeted before we looks max. Can we make sure? Can we make sure we personality bare minimum? There you go. Hello. Thank you. Thank you. But you know what's real? I watched a TikTok saying that you can call these men like a pedophile protector or like a fascist. The worst thing to be called is a beta because they really believe that the alpha beta thing. So I'm not as, obviously I'm, I'm not, whatever. I'm not, I'm not like chronically online anymore. And I'm also not a fucking sociologist, but like, and I'm not that smart, but like the, it's just. The, the, it just seems so a product of just chronic online, weird incel, lack of socialization. I don't know. It's like these guys are talk about it in cell is it's, it's in cell related in a sense that like they're, I don't even want to like dignify it with their talking about their names. It's like, cause there's so loathsome, but the idea of looks max. Thing to me is so stupid, but that thing is choosing to like put a little concealer on. Well, it goes further than that, of course. Well, I'm saying like wanting to look your best. That's what it is. It's quite far from, I think looks maxing, but it's, it's like a sign of, I think health when someone like does their hair and puts a little perfume or like, you know, this is a very historic phenomenon that has existed. Probably since. Since the days of the boneyard. Right. The cave people are probably putting on the fancy flowers in their hair or whatever. You know, even the, the primates are taking ticks out of the, you know what I mean? They're grooming each other. Yeah. Um, grooming. Uh, but the, it's, it's so funny. It's like, um, I don't know how to describe it, but they're like breaking bones. They're doing trend. They're doing, um, do you saw the guy get his wig snatched? What's trend? It's a very, um, powerful steroid trend is one of the, um, testosterone steroids. Supplements that gives you all the back knee and makes you crazy. Oh, trend. Trend is like really serious. Yeah. So like HGH testosterone trend is like the, ah, they're also taking meth to get skinnier. Well, yeah. I've heard about that guy. That is, I was like, that is, I mean, it does make you skinny. Yeah. It also ruins your life. But like, how do you know? I'm not, I've heard. I've heard. I've heard. But like, why don't you just, anyways, that's, you're not gonna be able to inspire the masses. If you keep, uh, living your dream, you're out here living your dream on a podcast. It ruins your life by the way. Look at me. Look at me. Let's take a break. Let's do some ads. No, no. That was, I think it's a rumor. It's a rumor. No, they're doing it. They're doing it. Like all? Well, do you listen to, uh, what's that pod? I think it's from Vox. They did a whole segment on it. Okay. And that's literally what they're doing. I listened to it last week. Okay. So, okay. Interesting. So that's another, okay. That's a interesting thing. It's like, where do we draw the line between healthy, um, self-care and this is, I think where the, the, the term makes more sense now. It's looks maxing, not health maxing, not optimizing. How do I, at what, at, uh, no matter the cost, how do I get my shell to be a certain way to attract it? Whatever, whatever. And yeah, looks, masks, maxing is just about physical appearance and it came from male in cells back in like the 2010s. Oh yeah. Cause I think it comes from the alpha beta. Like you're trying to, um, cheat genetics to be an alpha if you aren't an alpha and sort of like the self pressure. Of like, don't be a beta look like this. So you have access to this, but I don't get the sense that women like this. Well, they, that's the thing. It's kind of not about the women. Oh, it's the femboy people. It's the, no, it's, they're all getting together or on their little party buses with their little mess and they're fucking rubbing their dinghies together. I mean, I just made that up, but I think that is the vibe. It's wild. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm speaking of the, uh, the bad bunny one, you know, the alpha, I saw 28 years later, the bone temple. Okay. I saw your tweet because you didn't like the previous one. Did you? No, I enjoyed it. I cried my eyes out. Yeah. It was a, it was a different vibe. It was good. This was, it was, you love, I keep driving by the, um, billboard being like, well, my thought was the response to the one before was mixed, even though I loved it. So I thought, how are they doing another one? I could see that. Oh, mama there. There's a two majors. How would you, how would you, how would you compare? If I saw that one, what is this one? This one is balls to the wall. It's it's, it's so intense. And there's an alpha zombie who is a pro I cried with the big dick. Yeah. And I cried. Isn't that awful? No, no. He had a big dick. You're just saying he has a big dick. Cause it was huge. I would fuck that zombie dick. Well, mama, you're going to love this. So there's two like sort of, um, different storylines going on with this one. Yeah. Okay. big dick you're just saying he has a big dick because i would fuck that zombie dick well mama you're gonna love this so there's two like sort of um different storylines going on with the ray finds is like this crazy doctor he's covered in it's not blood iodine and the the guy with all the skeletons exactly so he's got his own little like you know underground bunker he the alpha he he tames an alpha via morphine and i won't give that's i won't spoil anything else about morphine love dion she's in the movie your daughter my daughter yeah she she fucked the alpha of course because she knows well she's warming up for me yeah so then but then there's do you think people want to fuck out the zombies do you think that i'm like morphine i think the resemblance is almost i would say sister is not mother daughter yeah that's what i would say okay okay so but the other storyline is so harrowing so there's this guy jimmy who's a psychopath okay regular character new character regular spoilers by the way no no no it's all in the trailer oh everything's in the trailer these days well no no i mean you can see that there's this blonde guy and he has a coterie of like um he's got his little cult gang and they're all called jimmy and the way that they gain entrance into the gang is they have to kill one of the members and they become a jimmy he's a psychopath and there's a scene i won't where they go to this people's house humans not you know they've like protected themselves against the infected they do this thing called they have this thing called um he believes he is the son of satan old nick and they're like what should we what um what uh i forget the term he uses like what um uh something we should we do for these guys i think we should take their shirts off and that's a metaphor is it skin are they living people and they de-skin them it's so fucking disgusting it was so hard to watch okay there was so it's so nasty okay you're gonna love it girl i didn't even watch the last saw that you said was good because i didn't know if i could take that well that that is that's splatter i feel like that's splatter gore you know what i mean but i'm watching real housewives of orange county they don't so how do i pivot to that oh easy it's just as vicious maddie from maddie has me i said well you know i finished new york new york was incredible from the beginning finished new york now what she said we're gonna have to watch real housewives of orange county the first three seasons are it's not the housewives you know in love it's not like hot rich bitches screaming at each other it's like dumpy republican women's it's like gated community people and their families it's really it hasn't turned into the housewives yet vicky gunderson like they're they haven't realized what it is they are they think it's about children or like and also it's weird because old tv like that when someone has plastic surgery and is open about it it's like so crazy yeah yeah i had my boobs done crazy now it's like who's gonna whose boobs aren't done thank you go visit the bone temple go to the bone temple no i'm seriously the boob temple the boob temple it's it's it's it's cool i'll go watch it i will and it's i probably won't go to the movies it's streaming oh you gotta buy it though that's fine yeah movies i will say movies at home when you want to see them 38 dollars mary how about this i wanted i was like you want to rent it 20 bucks you want to buy it 25 i accidentally i why are they doing that because they're trying to antagonize me they're trying to piss me off well i'm not pissed off i'm pissed off that i chose to rent it by accident for five dollars more i could have just given it to you yeah that would have been nice i don't think you can do that though i can give you my computer you can plug it into your giant tv i get like i want your computer history in my house no no no i'll be i'll be using i'll be at the switchboard making me watch some certain things i'll be i'll be our show is free no it's not all these ads right no i'm serious watch that and then when when we launch the patreon we will be doing a shot for shot remake of the bone temple yeah oh the um charity he calls them we should and i was like charity that's interesting mary for a while we were calling you the lovely bones and drag i think we got a pivot to the bone temple yeah the the um the boner temple the bone the bone um the bone temple grandin um did you uh uh wait so you saw 28 was it 20 weeks later it was 28 years later that's what came out about a year and a half ago and spike was in that the little boy spike yes he's in this one too and his mom is sick oh yeah joey that was very hard it was so it was so tough so he's in this he gets recruited by the jimmies okay and it's just oh yeah it ends with that it ends with him getting um approached by the blonde guy it ends with him being like assaulted by some guys it's like a cliffhanger oh my gosh i didn't even remember that it's so really fucking good it's really good what is the speed they're going down this street here do you hear that um well it's nothing compared to what they do outside my house crazy except they have no mufflers and they are screaming and have um boom boxes in their cars they put up across from my house they put up like one of those you know la is obsessed with those modern duplexes uh that are built in 13 minutes thank you is it the it's the the the four-story flop house it's two oh it's three but it's cut down the middle so it's two townhouses whatever it's a trigger word for you i know i'm very but it's straight people and i came home from that super bowl party that's three people at a super bowl like on the patio at a super bowl function like people in their 20s now la is back no it isn't i'm i i i've been told many times that i'm a hater i'm trying not to be i'm trying to be less of a hater i know i am you hate joy you hate queer joy no no i i like straight football i can get into a lot of sports i can appreciate like tennis for example i could get obsessed with tennis really easily yeah it's one of the most incredible difficult sports ever even golf i could sort of i can appreciate the precision and you know basketball amazing hockey whoa you know that list goes on football girl it's so much american football it's so much of nothing happening it's literally like when they see a hot hot hike the play goes for four seconds and most of the time they don't catch the ball no and the most exciting thing about it is seeing the the veins bulge on the necks of the the coaches and the managers on the sidelines screaming into those like uh headsets like like their wives are getting tortured at home there are so many incomplete passes so many fumbles so i watch it first down are you guys that good i don't want to be a hater i'm like this sport should move more and basketball they're not constantly stopping mama what happens in soccer or a football right they are never not moving those whores are in such incredible shape it would be like if it was tennis like half like um net shots there's so much stopping and starting in football it's like how many minutes are left in the quarter two oh so we'll be here for four hours first down first down what exactly first why don't you just score it is it seven points if you get a touchdown and then one extra if you kick a field goal right and i think it's 33 if you do um i have no idea and it's it's corny it's corny i baseball thrilling it's it's like it's and it's like oh yeah i love baseball it's like a great american thing american football to me is just so stupid although baseball players are hot yeah they get some um well sometimes they're not which is also fun like i like a i like the outfit they have big arms could be throwing balls and shit yeah and they i kind of like when they have a little bit of like a dad bod thing going on yeah sometimes the athletes grow their hair long with it's like a fun thing with the team and then so then everyone looks worse which is kind of fun everyone grows like beards and long hair and then you actually i'm not a super fan i know that they're not the same people sometimes but they all have long hair and beards and i'm like who is anybody mm-hmm hillary clinton do you remember when hillary clinton grew her hair very long no it's weird oh oh so the gig i had to do this gig oh yeah so the next day 5 a.m like we leave fina picks me up at 5 a.m get in the uber at 5 a.m we go which which she's been up for hours fina yes oh yeah she's been it's like a four hour gig and i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like four a.m i know she's she meditates cookies 3 a.m she meditates she's at the gym by seven she's fucking crazy getting that uber is like death and then um fall asleep on the plane we go to dc non-stop so we have we arrive i have to be at the venue on stage at six we can't have to get ready at the college show yeah i have to get ready at the hotel um the um american university of something university of phoenix yes trump university it felt very very like four profit no yeah um it was um uh it was so anyways we get to the hotel at 4 40 i heard about the meet and greet oh yeah oh the meet and greet was rotten but but the point is i i beat my face in like 35 minutes and it looked amazing i bet girl it looked amazing talked about it before put down the brush and move on with your life you were in my head the entire time you can do it you can do it it's possible your makeup is is it's not it's not it's it's not like um uh we're not doing chuck close i mean it's not like intricate do you just do like a black eye well she was like she's like on the she was really worried for me no no but she was worried on the on the car right there she's like just remember red mouth black circle you can do it honestly but i did i did more than that i did like a whole thing and it was as long as you picture i wouldn't have known you right it wasn't like it was good it wasn't amazing but like it wasn't bad foundation looked a little flatter than usual yeah because she usually does the the whole and i didn't have enough um time also i tipped i dropped the powder thing your foundation looked more one color than it normally does normally you have more highlight contour yeah yeah because she's been doing more yeah yeah yeah well we do that thing from i think it's from you the the um the yellow the brown oh the the the bronzer sticks yeah yeah um but yeah it's easy to oh and it's creamy love it but if you don't yeah i saw the picture your eyes look like your normal eyes you had less on the bottom maybe yeah i like you with a lot of horror color on the bottom you know what the problem is though my age and the tissue crepe skin under my eyes collects the shadow um yes and also just anything is accentuated all the it doesn't wear that well have you do you have you ever used liquid or cream instead of powder under there no you have liquid or cream like shadow so that it's not powder because powder will move but what about like a liquid or cream like black or brown to smoke out the bottom and you don't have to worry about it do they does it does it actually blend out well yeah you could use the black play pigment from tricksy lip black liquid and then there's no fallout because it's not powder interesting i don't experience that because my under eye is here gotcha but i would assume if it's closer to your eye this is like the finest oh it's horrible horrible - I'll slow it. - Yeah. - Would you do like a talkback? did it was just a moderated q a so i so naturally of course i made them do the pledge of um not the pledge of legions we stood for the national anthem at the end did you sing i sure i sure did and then um and then um yeah it was fun it was uh it was fun and easy and it was like i can't believe i got i can't believe i got ready that quick but i wasn't stressed out because you just do it yeah it's kind of like when you have that time timing with drag can be tough because like if you have like too much time it can get a little weird sometimes then you're late do you know what i mean yes i try to now like i don't want anything about the day i have to be in drag to be that like just yesterday i took a wig home and i before dinner sat and styled my updo topper for my dj gig this friday because i said friday i don't want to go to the studio early to style this hair i want to show up knowing some part of it's done yeah yeah yeah because well if you just want to economize the time you're getting ready you just got to cut corners you can't do everything you've ever wanted to do no but the funny thing is though so i had a high neck because of my problem areas also i didn't have to shave all this which is great but when i get in that shower i'm ready to hit it i'm ready to hit the ground running with that razor the water pressure was like three adult men peeing on me i was like you gotta be kidding veterans yeah it was like i was like veterans with prostitis prostatitis it was like this is my rush this is the shower i have to rush this is going to take about 45 years it was so it was like it was mitch mcconnell's peace dream when is he gonna kick the bucket girl when girl it's gonna be so funny yeah i mean i don't wish anybody died he died i'm gonna be like thought he was like you know what i mean like yeah what's the difference man he's been there have to be we cannot but evil can sustain you no yeah people who die it's never who you want no i don't know what it is about the universe it's never who you want i wish that when it was time for someone to die death would go like hi tricksy and i go i got a list i go in here at this other room my white board it looks like a phone book i have it all worked out for you so top right and then we're going down you know what i mean like and if you take bad bunny before i say you can't take bad bunny you take him to my house you're taking my hotel room and make him do sex to me right i love him love um the the uh the other thing was um this is america and the halftime show should be on english so you don't know what they're speaking english here i know i know like there's like 40 billion spanish to be megan kelly shut the fuck megan kelly can suck it i she can she can truly suck she can suck it not any dick she can just suck like a big frozen turd that they get in those weird german nightclubs just nasty wet rat she and it's violent violent violent person horrible hate her i hate her i do too i hate her and i don't want to hate weird commitment to the bit of being a liar well i think what i mean my only one of my guesses would just be that people know in this horrible day and age that vitriol is profitable girl she's in she's assembling nuclear warheads with nikki minaj and mar-a-lago yeah that's what she's up to god if they if nikki minaj gets on one of those subs that they have um you know with all those satan two nuclear warheads wait a minute i wish i could have handpicked the people on that titanic thing that exploded imploded i wish i would have been able to handpick i would have done it like a like a pyramid like dance moms oh my god revealing who's gonna be on it and be like you guys this is gonna be the most unforgettable it was like the opposite of the trip to space yeah um the i saw they have um what do you call it de-gasified her miss minaj oh which i she just has flat hair and she looks like it was just like interesting fierce interesting come with me and i don't want to i don't want to belittle people for their weight or whatever but there was this funny this guy i followed on twitter big off um when she was walking into the um the thing it was the ground was shaking and um oh my god i saw a picture of her with trump and she was in that big coat and it said they're having a big off that was yeah i think it was probably the same guy and it was like it was just yeah i mean you know i think if you're like i think it's like i'm not into body shaming unless it's somebody doing evil you better come for that bald head yeah it's still a cheap shop you know i feel shoot me in the eye bitch i don't like talking about people's you would never catch me saying mean shit to someone about how they look don't don't roll the tapes that's well but so i think they have plenty of i don't like this happens on the housewives a lot i don't i don't like when they say someone has a little dick as a bad thing no no and i think what it means because i googled it i think what they're meaning is this person exhibits behavior of someone who is insecure about having a little dick when you say someone's little dick you're talking about their behavior the way they act yeah so that's an that's an imprecise but i don't like making fun of things that people can't change people's bodies that we think should be bigger or smaller and i feel like it's up i kind of feel like it's up there with being bald people are like people online are like and your hairline they're not to me i don't care if i'm bald but it's weird to like my unit i'm all about slam dunking on men but i kind of think like and your hairline it's like okay i i have a mirror i know what's going yeah i just and maybe there's no answer to this no but the way we i love when people are coming for people they don't like let's say you you hate this young republican their character their actions the things that they stand for and that they promote it's we're all very loosey-goosey about saying men have a small dick or they're bald yeah and i just feel like that's also making fun of someone's physical shit and it's also doesn't matter like and i i feel i i regret when i say like you know that fat bitch i mean i think if you roll the tapes i i do appear incredibly fat phobic and i swear to god i'm not but i was at um the supermarket and this woman walked by or no it's at the mall and she had some very interesting surgery done to her face interesting in what way um i would probably like it was aftermarket light switch nose it was extreme it was extreme extreme extreme and and i and i looked at it and i was like i don't know i don't know i don't know i looked and i and i my immediate reaction was what a freak and i was like oh i stopped myself i was like you know what there's so many people in this world they look the way they do let them live let them fucking live i look like a goblin often i often can get confused for golem from lord of the rings it's like i people look all i mean i either want surgery i can't believe i can't even tell yeah or i want riley from house of avalon yeah or who knows i want the dolls yeah the goddesses yeah yeah or i want like restylane i would have never known i would have never known yeah you know like i want that but also we don't know anything i didn't know anything about this woman we i don't know you know and i and then i'm my mind goes to like the bullying for like congenital um uh herpes no defects i'm not joking yeah oh yeah like defects i thought you said genital congenital oh you know congenital herpes well that's a thing look it up queen but like i don't know i just i like when i watch a movie where a person gets bullied for being overweight like especially a girl in high school i it like takes a knife into my chest like i almost can't watch it it's so tough to watch yeah like just bullying in general like i'm already talking about i think you and i when we're being huge bitches it's not unwarranted i mean yeah i mean i'm we're just i'm not i'm not a great person but i try not to be a neat like a shitty one no so that's when i listen to the pot i'm like oh i was a little mean to that person whoever whatever but man like someone like that i'm like i'm not a great person but i try not to be a neat like a shitty one we speak unscripted full-time for 10 plus years it's really impossible to stand by everything we've ever said exactly that is a really good point and people it's not it's not to excuse bad behavior but because i i try to evolve intellectually when i listen to this show sometimes i'm like oh i said that okay well yeah but i mean um does your hat say thanks a lot bitch yeah um but like you know i don't know it's um some people in this world are actually doing evil right and i'm like i'm not a great person but i try not to be a neat like a shitty one and it's monet yeah and it's bob and it's monet um and i don't want to it's fierce um love drag you know what i mean i love drag i'm in an era right now where i love drag once they get not always yeah but right now because i'm not overworked i'm just like oh my god i love it i i can't wait to wear some gowns it's so easy to drag when you haven't done it in a while and you're just feeling it girl what i love feeling i love feeling it yeah i love to feel it yeah as long as i got a good front facing shot and no profile i'm good yeah oh that was the other last thing about love but uh the camera live camera often from below mama that that bitch looks incredible from every angle good for her from below she gotta figure it out every angle profile every angle beautiful there's some more reviews on your side tables okay i have one more thing i forgot to bring up i don't know if that was good i guess you just let it go no no no don't let it go i had a new injector you doing it right now no just kidding my old guy ross he retired from that location so i haven't gotten botox in so long but music festivals are coming and it's more for the sweat so if i get that works do you do you do do you do a different type of botox injection for the sweat no i get all the way up here into my scalp so that my wig glue don't get sweaty wait a minute baby - You think it's a lie? - No, no, no, no. - What's wrong? something for you. The pills. The glycopyrite. I'm not taking the pills. Why not? Why not? Music festivals, I need to sweat for health. No, you don't. You're the one who told me that it should only be for on-camera gigs where you're not sweating. No, event-specific hyperhidrosis. You don't take them every day. You don't think if it's 100 degrees at Bonnaroo, I should be sweating a little? You will. What if I overheat? What are you going to do? Have a heart attack? Yeah. No, you wouldn't have a heart attack. Yeah, oh shit. Really? From overheating? Yeah. So I go to this new injector. And I always feel dumb saying this. I say, because they always are telling me about other things I could do. And I was like, I just want the Botox for the makeup. And I said, I like to look really natural and really male. So I don't want anything softened or blown out or out of drag. Like, out of drag, that's not important to me. I'm not here for out of drag. So I get all the needles. Hurts like a bitch. Doesn't matter what they do. It always hurts. Yes, it always hurts. I'm like drop-dead gorgeous. I'm like, ow! They have a sale of dull needles at Kmart. I'm like, I'm, you know. And they have like a give me a stress ball. That's my hand. There's a needle in my face. They give you a stress ball. So it hurts like a bitch and I'm just. They did that for the tattoo removal. It don't do nothing. I know. So then they go, talking about my arthritis. And they go, have you done cryo? And I go, well, I used to do cryo at this location when I was like 25, but I quit because it's awful. And they said, why don't you try it again today on the house? I just want to see if you like it. See if it helps. I forgot how bad it is. Oh, it's three and a half minutes in like negative whatever, hundred degrees. Yeah, I know. And I believe in the science that it can shock your system into like a survival mode, like a reboot. It's so unpleasant. It's so unpleasant. I was in there jumping. I'm thrashing. So I'm in there jumping. My eyes are rolled back. I'm on a cold plunge, isn't it? I get out after two minutes and I go, she goes, how was it? I said, I remember why I don't do it anymore. It sucks. But I believe that it helps you. I bought a cold plunge. It's at my house. I got in it twice. For how long? Never again. Oh, yeah. About 10 seconds. At least 20 minutes. It's awful. 20 minutes? Yeah. In an ice bath? What are you, nuts? I can't do that. Brendan Fraser and Cino Man bullshit? Sweetie, when they numbed, these little guys numbed, they would put ice on them. To numb them? I was like, girl, what the fuck are you doing? Just zap them. Performative. Just zap them. Performative. That hurt more than the zapping. Right. I was like, numb them so you can't feel. What are you talking about? You just iced me. It's like alcohol in the skin before you shoot me up with a dirty needle. Okay. It's like, what are we doing here? Also, it's not numb. It's freezing cold and it hurts. It's like wiping back to front. Myth. I put the shit in my pussy. And on that note. I think we have some reviews. Let's have two. 20 minutes of ads. We have reviews. My go-to happy place is from Val Torre. A better way to spend my time than doom scrolling. True. Fierce. Funny and entertaining conversations with each other and love the occasional guest in guest house. Honestly. Untrue. No, I'm just kidding. We doom scroll so you don't have to. We'll keep you updated. I don't want to doom scroll anymore. But you do. I don't want to. What you want to do is not necessarily what you're going to do. Thank you. Conscious Pussy says bloop. Oh no, boop. Sorry. Just boop. Just boop. That's a whole review. Yeah. Boop. Wordsmith. Shakespeare. Best podcast from Tingle Greeny Frog. Love listening to Trixie and Katya on my way to work getting ready or whenever. You could have chili or chili with noodles. This is like too wholesome. This feels like it was written by a bot. She's writing them all. Tracy's writing them all. Vacuum. As a person who is the court, as a person who is the court of the Mila, it really does make the difference. Now, my vacuum opinions have shifted somewhat and we'll get into that in the next episode. Can we talk about Mila next time? Yeah. Okay. Top of the episode. We're going in because I'm thinking of getting a second one. Okay. And so so, okay. You're not before you consult with me. Okay. We'll talk. Okay. And then last last but not least, it's 2025. So happy I can binge for days. I love it. Oh, the pod. Oh, no, I thought that was stay happy. Topless. Bye. Bye.