The Bonering Conan

(upbeat music) - Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconon. Okay, let's get started. - Hmm, no, no, two, two. - Oh, what's your say-able two, two? (laughing) - A terrible timing. - Oh no. - Hey, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan. - Oh my God. - I wanna apologize for, let me apologize quickly to you, sir. Matt Gurley was chewing, it looked like a kind of a nut bar. - It wasn't a nut bar. - And that's rude because we're talking to you. You're a guest, but my mouth is clear, and I can speak to you succinctly. - I just was giving no real warning. - No, I think you did. - I thought that's just how you talk. - Yeah, I know. You've been away for a while. So maybe something happens. - Thank you. - Oh, yes. Andrew, yes. - I forgot how to talk. - Andrew brought out the big guns right away. He knows you took an overly long fraternity leave. Here we go. Your name, sir, is Andrew Zolti. That's your real name, but you go by the name. Tell me how to pronounce this. - Breakfast. (laughing) - That name? - What is it? - That's what I drove by. - I just didn't know if it was, it says breakfast, and I thought, "Oh, chances are I'm gonna say breakfast," and he's gonna go, "Excuse me, it's breakfast!" But it is here in the notes that it means to move fast and break stuff. - I don't read the notes. I talk to people. - I was trying to help you. - You're an accountant over in the corner. - You don't need to, excuse me, I gotta have another bite. - Yeah. - I thought you were real. - He's a Carbo load. So breakfast. - You are, it says here you are a kinetic sculptor. What is kinetic sculpture? - Can you tell me about it? - Can you see behind me? - I can, but it's also a part of-- - It's a lot of stuff. - I thought it'd be good to have. - Yeah, that doesn't really make sense. - Maybe I put some words in there somewhere. - I'll read it. - I see behind you, let me describe to our listeners who aren't watching this, that yes, I see interlocking rings that are twisting and undulating. I see, and it's very cool. I see a shimmering series of silver rectangles. I mean, look, I could describe these things all day. - Could you, 'cause that was a rough distance. - Yeah, that was pretty rough. - That was pretty good. - Oh, look who's, look who's candy bar. Just hit the stomach. You came in hot. (laughing) Chomp, chomp, chomp, really coat in. (laughing) Okay, breakfast. Tell me, this kinetic sculpture, I've seen examples of this places. I go to Seattle a lot. It's where my wife's family's from and they have a hammering man there. It's a tall sculpture that hammers away. Like it's hammering out some pewter or something, but it's really cool and it's about, I don't know, might be 40 feet tall. Is that the, would that be a kinetic sculpture? - I think it would. I mean, kinetic just means moving, but I try to dial it up a little bit. So like, so yeah, all the things I make, I tend to try and one, make them really interactive, which maybe if I run away from the microphone and say I can show you. But then all these things are actually moving based on real-time data as well. So like this little silver moving, kind of moves like water. - Yeah, that's beautiful. - It's shimmering. - That is, it does. And it, I'm gonna, he's moving away. He's moving away. - Oh wow. - Wow, he is like a magician. You just waved your hand over this surface. And it all started sort of undulating, responding to you and all the different tiles moved in a different way. It was very cool. - Yeah. - And it's actually the way that it moves. It's connected to Lake Chapala in Mexico, which is receding due to climate change. And so as that water goes up and down, it changes what happens when you move your hand through it. So kind of like if you had a puddle, like a deeper or shallower, it actually changes based on that. So all the pieces have this sort of real-time data thing going to it and interaction. And it pretty much just comes from me being a kid walking through museums and feeling bad that I was bored. - Right. - And just trying to make art that-- - You walk by Michelangelo's David and thought, "Why ain't that fucking guy moving around?" - No. - Yeah. - Why isn't his penis twirling? It's a-- - Oh my God. - Well, I'm serious. - We can make that. - We can make it twirling. - I know. And it should twirl. It should grow and shrink in relation to-- - Now we're talking. - Well, okay. I went too far. - It's not at all. - But it's growing shrink. - Not at all. - It's a-- - So-- - I have a question. I have a-- - Well, wouldn't that be amazing if they could grow and shrink in relation to what's happening? - It's only. - Clearly, I've completely understanding with how a real penis works. - Hey, mine goes up and down based on that lake in Mexico. - Yeah, yeah. Whenever a lake passes, he's like, (laughing) Breakfast, and I say this, I love saying breakfast. Now listen here, breakfast. - Oh. - You are the most important meal today. What are the devices at work? What's happening to-- What kind of mechanical stuff are you doing? What kind of wiring? I'm just curious. I don't need to get into the weeds on it. - Yeah, we will. Yeah. - Well, I should be fair in that over there. Normally there's 16 people that help me do this these days 'cause we make massive, massive things. So we're doing all the electrical engineering, mechanical engineering, industrial design. So there's computers inside each one of these things. There's motors, we make pieces with 9,000 motors that move 24 hours a day in the middle of cruise ships and weird stuff like that. But it is complex, takes a tremendous amount of effort and time and gets really nerdy. - I have a question. You know, it's just for the kids. - It's really cool. - It's very cool. These things look amazing. What is the, it's funny to ask about sculpture, but what's the maintenance? I mean, do you get cold in? Like you've done a very beautiful, complicated, and they say, yes, one of the servos, one of the 9,000 servos is on the fritz. Is it hard to maintain? - Our battery needs to be replaced. - Yeah, yeah. You just go to Angie's list to get someone to hide. - Exactly. - Yeah, yeah, it's all Angie's. - You're gonna fix your sculpture. - Where is it? - Oh, yeah. You got one of those unsilating Lake Titicaca. All right. I know what's going on. - Stick a screwdriver in it and be fun. - Yeah, no, it's, I mean, that is the, that is actually my favorite question answer because I get it constantly. And the way that I explain this is we live in a world where we are very used to consumer devices that are made as kind of cheaply and efficiently as possible and they got to cost very little. If you think about sending a satellite into space that you don't get back, that's kind of more the model that we follow. So that's why we make everything from scratch is to every motor, is custom design, every circuit board and the part that you put on there, you can choose something that instead of costing 10 cents, oh, we spent a dollar on that one little part. And it will now last 50 to 100 years instead of five to 10. And so if you build it the right way, it will last and then at the same time, we got a lot of pieces all around the world. And if something were to happen, I've had the cleaning person smash a broom into something, then we got to make it really easy to just swap it out. So we also designed-- - And fire the cleaning person's hair. - Yeah, exactly. - That's the first thing you do, at least fire them. - Something more. - You designed and built a piece called the Pearl. It says here, it's a 54 foot sphere with thousands of tiles and it mimics the wind and waves. I mean, where is this? How can I see this? - That is the one on what we made two of them and they're on the two biggest cruise ships in the world. So they literally hold up the decks above where they are. This is massive thing. - Oh, so they're load bearing as well. - They're load bearing. - Yeah, this is a horrible idea. (laughing) - I mean, it's load bearing, it's 54 feet in circumference, I guess, thousands of tiles and it's 9,000 motors moving. This is the one I was saying, it's just 24 hours a day, in the middle of the ocean reacting to data across the Caribbean. It's a beast and it was a little hard to sleep at night. - I could just see the ships crashing all the time because everyone on board is just looking at the undulating sphere, and then they just ran into an iceberg and then the sphere undulates even more 'cause it's actually undulating. And then it's underwater undulating. 'Cause in Orca, I'm probably not supposed to say it, but there's a stairway. So you walk down these stairs through the middle of it and my fear kind of came true, which is who on a rocking ship looking at a sphere can walk down stairs and not trip and fall. And they probably don't like me mentioning that, but you know, there's some extra stair lighting now. We'll just put it that way. (laughing) - And make God rest their soul. (laughing) - Exactly. (laughing) - Oh, I'll make sure my lawyer doesn't listen. - Yeah, yeah. (upbeat music) Now, do you have a dream to one day build something that's on the same scale as, you know, one of those sculptures or pieces of architecture that defines a city? Do you know what I'm saying? The way the Eiffel Tower defines Paris, the way the Trump Arch is going to define Washington DC. Oh, come on. And by the way, you should make that thing move, you know? Somewhere else. We did political humor. Anyway, go ahead. What do you think? Yeah, no, I mean, that's, that is, that is the dream, I would say, is that we don't build, we don't build, like, the Eiffel Tower kind of, kind of pieces anymore, and, and if they are, I don't know, I want to create something that, that's the big dream. It's a crazy way to do that, but now imagine, uh, Brookline Mass, you know, I'm mechanical Conan used car balloon, yeah, yeah, yeah, what would you do? What would you do? It, let's say I wasn't saying, and let's say I had a massive amount of money, um, yeah, and I commissioned you, uh, what, how would you depict me? How would you use your powers? Oh, yeah. Use your powers in, uh, with all these servos and moving parts to do a Conan sculpture. To do a Conan. Okay. So what you like, I, I actually think we should lift from the, the Michelangelo, I think we need a nice, a boner, a boner, a boner, a boner, a boner, a boner, a boner, we're going to use that. We're going to use that. And then I think what we're going to do, we're going to make your, your hair, it's going to be the hair. We're going to do that a brass. Yes. Yes. And it's going to work. Actually, we'll connect that to Brookline. So whatever the wind is. Brookline mass in, how the wind is blowing in Brookline will affect how my massive 60 foot high hair is undulating. Yeah. But I think the best part of it, do you know those sculptures that sometimes like you'll go by a, there's like a statue where you'll rub it, the guy's foot or his nose and it's like luck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they're actually kind of worn away in those spots. They're worn away. So I think this is how, because my pieces are interactive. So I think you need to rub some part of you and your hair, your hair shoots out. I think we all know, I think we all know what we're talking about here. I think we do. I think we do. And we should go for it. How about instead of that, when the real man gets rubbed, the kinetic sculpture has a hook up. You know that right? Yeah. And so, you know, it's been his tools. Yeah. When I'm in some rub and tug joint in Miami, waiter and Prague. My hair starts doing a loopty loop. Not your hair. The hair is still connected to the Brookline. Oh, the hair is showing you Brookline. Okay. I got it. This is amazing that you have made this your life. I'm always fascinated by people who manage to through perseverance, talent, a lot of hard work. I'm sure carve out this life for themselves. It's just kind of perfect. And it sounds like you're doing exactly what 10-year-old you would have dreamed of doing. Is that true? I think that's very accurate. Yeah. Yeah. It's still waiting for the money, but we'll get to that part. I mean, you seem like you must be very successful this year, because even your space is very, you know, there's the success in terms of what we've achieved. Yeah. Definitely. But then there's the, you know, I got to send my kids to college, right? It's going to be a way to do that. Yeah. So I'm going to go outside and just, I'm going to busk, I'm just going to play guitar on the street. Everything's going to be fine. Yeah. I'm not worried. I think college is overrated. Just tell me everything's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. They can learn from their phones. They're AI and their phones. We'll tell them what they need to do. You've got sculptures to make. They are not your concern. I always say that about children. Is it true that you worked, someone told me that you worked on the Conan Blimp when we launched on TBS back in 2010, is that true? That is, yeah, absolutely. I got to, I flew in that blimp. In fact, I will tell you, all of this is here because of that blimp because it was the first project. So, so we started breakfast. It was me and two other guys and, and we were trying to explain to people how you could connect the online world in the real world and TBS calls up and says, we have a blimp do you think you can connect that in some way? And that was the first project that kind of guys going. People could like tweet at the blimp and it would react. Yeah. It would, it was forced. Does anyone remember four square? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you remember four square. Yeah. So it was the first moving location. So people would get in their cars to try and get close enough to check into it. And then the blimp would actually get happy or sad and then when it gets sad, it would like go and check into a cemetery and if it got happy, it would go over to like a baseball game and get a hot dog or check in. And that's that was so weird. So weird. I'm happier to cemetery and sadder at a baseball game. I'm not even kidding, but that, you know, that's amazing. First of all, thank you because I thought that blimp was one of the coolest things I was ever associated with. It was so much fun. And then I, yes, I flew in the blimp and I'll never forget this. They let me take the wheel at one point, which isn't that scary because it's a balloon, but I put it into a power dive and it was slowly diving down and through the windshield. I don't know if you can remember this one, you were at the good year, I think it was good year. Yeah, it was. You were at the good year. You would come with me. And so you were in this giant field and I went into a power dive and aimed it at you. And I remembered you like in jeans and in that brown leather jacket running away as I was in a power drive, power dive in a good year blimp with my name on it. It's like due to a kill. Yeah, you know, it really was. It's one of the funniest images in my head is me and they're like, well, you're going to want to pull up soon, but it's not dire in a balloon. They mean like, maybe, maybe that potato was done in another hour, but I'm in this dive and you were saw me coming towards you and you ran. I remember that. And you ran. I really do remember that. I do. I'm tormenting my assistant with the good year blimp in real time. Sick man. This is really fun. I love the stuff behind you looks amazing. It really does. And I think it's I make it look more exciting. Sure. Sure. Oh, my God. Yes. Holy cow. Wow. The sculpture behind you just became my face. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Turn it off. No. That's a. Oh, well, you're right. I don't run away from the mic. That's incredible. Look at that. Oh, he just ran through my face and shattered it. It's so cool. I didn't like the part where my face went away. It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. Yeah, baby. Happy. This thing's connected to his ego, baby happy. My ego, the power of 10,000 sons. Listen, you are a very talented person. I really love what you're doing. I look forward to I want to check out. I'm going to I'm going to go online and try and check out because I want to see the the sculptures that are on on the cruise ships. I want to see this stuff and isn't a gallery. They're in galleries. Yeah. Where are you now? Where are you now? Yeah. Where am I right now? Can we go there? This is. Yeah. This is Brooklyn. They're Brooklyn a couple of days ago. I could have gone by. I don't know. You could have been here. Yeah. You should have. You're lost. I had a gig. I had a gig in Williamsburg. It was really fun. But I missed that. I didn't know. Well, my hat's off to you and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your stuff and I just very cool to talk to you and to see what you're up to. I'm amazing to talk to you guys. I'm honestly a massive, massive fan. This is a true honor. Well, the honors are as you're super talented and I hope our paths cross because I want to see what you're up to. I really do. So cool. Likewise. I love it. Well, this is what we're up to. Thanks so much for having me. I'm just sorry. There's no more to see of what we're doing. I think you're going places. All right. Take care, man. We'll see you later. Thanks so much. Bye-bye. Good day, everyone. Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley, Executive Produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Liyah. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina, Take it away, Jimmy. 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