The Body Keeps Score & The Body Keeps Tea

[Music] Hello, hi, I'm coming to the cottage. I'm coming to the cottage. Um, Skibidi Riz, Ohio. Right. Um, Sigma, Alpha, and Omega. And Omega. Um, yeah, um, like what she said. Brain rot, brain rot. I'll show you fucking bitch. I'm coming to the cottage and the cottage was like a fucking. When you start googling, hey, can I talk to y'all? Hey, can I talk to y'all? When you start googling depression symptoms, has anyone ever done that? Also, I just found out that um, we're in like a shadow period or something. Yeah, the girls are my dance. It's giving, it's giving shadowy. Yeah, also you guys, I drank this first off. Do we read a barbell's ad? No. Can I tell you that barbells has me like, girl, I'm trying to like go to your cottage? Because yesterday we did a live stream. And I, the Choco Milk Drink, I drank when I also had a subway sandwich. I don't give a fuck about the yoga match shit like I don't. Generally, the flatbread was one of the best things y'all had, okay? And I tried to do the multi-grain bread. I don't fuck with it. I'm not doing the urban cheese. So it's just like subway. What the hell are we going to do now? We're going to have to figure it out. Doesn't matter because um, everyone was scared for me when I was going to have the chocolate milk. And actually, I was fine. That's awesome. Let's go back to depression. Well, do we want to go back to there? No, um, no, that's awesome. And honestly, I kind of want to try one. But I'm like, what's the protein? But no, for depression, sake, um, she's canceled. Can we say depression's canceled? Well, it's also not canceled. It actually comes back with a fierceness. That's very serious. But I'm raised your hand if you've ever been depressed. Um, but also like, raise your hand if you're never depressed because like, Loki, this one, that. Like I was scared. Raise your hand if you were scared. Like guys, if you actually genuinely, if like my therapist put a ring camera in my room the last like two weeks, she would have, I would have been, I would have been taken. I would have gone to the cottage. I mean, there's so many things that can like, onset depression, like for me, I didn't get really bad depression until, I mean, I had my first like depression smile in college. But that was kind of due to like circumstances. I'm like, I was overworked. Definitely not getting fucking paid by my scam ass fucking college. I went to fucking Christian Girl Autumn ass college. We were going to the church. No, I'm going to the church. I'm going to the church. Then later I'm going to work me fucking grind and well in the name of in the name of who in the name of the name of the name of the name of in the name of fucking y'all know who y'all are in the name of the Kardashian that they were hosting and Justin Bieber and Haley. Yeah, well, I don't want to go there. But one day we will. With that being said, I like had my first like, you know, burn bad burn out. But I will say when I started doing social media full time, I experienced like a longer term depression. I think also too when you get into your like mid, like early mid 20s, your body changes a lot, bro. Like your hormones change so fucking much. Like my hormones change so much. And like that's when like my PMDD like, I mean, I've always had PMDD. But it was like really fucking ramped up. And also just, I mean, so many things this job is like, though I'm not doing extraneous labor, but like to be in this like industry, it's a like mentally, it's like a lot. And then it's just like when other shit outside of work is like happening. Set up a job low boozy side. No, and I can only hope like I can genuinely only hope that my hope is that it is a a circumstantial because the real T is like, I'm usually like serving you hyper activity. My anxiety is future forward. I don't usually have anxiety looking back. Do you know what I mean of like the shit like genuinely guys? Like I actually hit, I forgot what it was called on WebMD. When I of course like, now that I'm coming to, I literally was like, whoa, what was that? And how did we never fucking do that again? Like I'm scary. Um, but you know, a major depressive episode is what is what they would call it on all the internet and things. And some of the symptoms literally being like, rumination guilt, unnecessary guilt baby girl, baby girls, baby girls and baby days and baby guys. Genuinely experienced crippling ruminizations. Like genuinely experienced crippling bitch, they took me back to the school ground. Like I astral projected and like actually was trying to like, fade myself. Like it was actually scary and like honestly like, you know, as we are grateful for the full range of the human experience. And like, you know what I mean? Like you always need to see the dark to recognize the dawn like genuinely was in the sun in place so fiercely that it like brought me back to the realization that the only thing we have is now. Okay, so like just remember all we have is now it's all we can control. And like how that is like genuinely 30 seconds. That is the best and the worst part of this life. Is the fact that genuinely if you're at home, I'm like this. If you're at home feeling XYZ, feeling horrible, maybe you fucking like trip your best friend and she broke her fucking tooth last week and like you just sick, like you just like, why would I fucking like try to do a coffee grinder in the mall and then my friend lost her tooth? I don't know. I don't know. Genuinely like the best, the most beautiful and also the most depressing part of life. And usually this part of life makes me depressed. But that's on my like future forward anxiety is that maybe this shit in permanent. Every single thing in life is in permanent. Every single thing passes like genuinely was so in the trenches the last two weeks that like you know and you get like so sit like mentally ill that you start like laughing at yourself almost like in a camp way like I was so down bad that I literally like started having moments where I was like. Like literally directors cut in real time. So just to anyone who hey if you're going through some things if you are feeling any kind of way just remember that like genuinely everything passes and it is the best when you actually feel like shit because it will pass no matter what you do. Yeah. Worse when you're having the best time of your life though because then it'd be like damn. Yeah. Wishing I could hold on to this feeling. Yeah. I feel like the first time I ever went to therapy for like my depression because I did like a couple different therapies before like I'm in like talk therapy now but I did love love talk therapy. I always want to say CBD. And it is. Now CBT which is like about I think CBT is really fucking like it was so beneficial. Usually it's like kind of like course like you know it's like you maybe do it for like six months or so but it's like habit building and stuff but it really on the habit building. It really helps with like with people who like have like high functioning like depression and stuff which is like what I was really oh my god really fucking struggling with and like still do sometimes but like it's a lot of things too and I think like the biggest thing that like no one talks about is it just truly is a disability like you wouldn't look at someone with a broken leg and be like bitch walk on it. Yeah. You know what I mean like you want to be like girl walk on that shit like no it's like debilitating. I can't yeah. And so I think it's kind of you know it's a it's a lot of different things but like the grace that we have to like give ourselves and just literally rock out like when you're just in that like you know whatever the the when you hit the lows of depression because it will happen and you just I feel like the more you fight it the harder it is and it's just like you have to just lean in oh the surrender and that is so nasty because that is so not my tea like I'm genuinely like every time I feel bad I'm like you got 24 hours literally and my mom was like I know you making it worse like how the heart on yourself because you don't feel better I was like bitch did you birth me or something woman did you birth me have you known me my whole life yeah um no and totally and I think you know my biggest takeaway from whatever like the girls were in the DM's like you know the shadow period is coming like oh like this is moving into Pisces y'all like uh oh like be scared be scared um or no don't be scared because it's like almost over but it's giving like big truths and like you know what I mean like shedding all this shit whatever but it really is like um it really comes down to like when bitches be like yeah do just like drink water your full butter and I'm like it can't be that simple you dumb dirty bitch stop and then you drink water and you like get a sparkle in your eye like it's genuinely like who would have known like on RuPaulations that like it genuinely comes down to radical self love and self acceptance which I'm like well yes and I think too you know another thing that I like that is so true it's just kind of like how the the negative mental spiral like how it compounds on itself because when you're like in a positive you know like mental spiral like upward spiral it's just like you drink water so then you were like wait I should go in a walk and then you go in a walk and then like you know that habit stacking like stacks upon itself but it's like when you're in a negative like like you know mental spiral and it's just like bad thought or bad experience turns in into like, well, why should I shower? And then it turns into why should I, whatever. And then it just, it keeps going. And the bit is like, you know, the pitted spheres. And like, you know, once until your baseline gets back up to like normal where you can like start correcting shit and start moving pieces into play so that like the next time, if there is a next time or something like this happens, you have like kind of like a game plan in terms of like how you're gonna like recover. But it's fucking scary, bro. Like it's scary. The first time this happened to me, 'cause like I had just started this job. It was like 2021. And I was like, I just had, it was just so much shit. And like I just felt like I had like the weight of the world quite literally on my shoulders. And I was like, thugging it out by myself and just trying to like, you're just surviving. Like when you're in just like that survival mode of like trying to like stay afloat. Like, oh my God. Like, you know what I mean? But it's just like, I'm really happy you're out on the other end as your best friend. - Almost, hey, almost. - Yeah, and just like, you know, the recovery process is fierce, but like the tenderism. - The tenderism. - Girl, the tenderism on my mom. - Shit, tenderism. Like this shit's like falling off the bone bag. - Yeah, and honestly like, you know, to that point, just giving it, I'm in my giving it time back. I'm also just, I don't know. I think, you know, the biggest lesson that I learned from this recent experience, I think, you know, this has been compounding for a long time. I've been kind of stressed out for like four months straight now. So I'm literally like, shit, starting to give like, hello, like hello, like can anyone hear me? I think the biggest lesson that I learned though this time, interestingly enough, is like the, my goal, what this has brought to me, is the self-advocation is the realty. Like I think I'm noticing and I've noticed through this just because in a lot of ways, kind of the absurdity of these things that I was ruminating on being like, a decade old or I lose, like, and then it's just like, what if I like took a shoe and I was fine? It's like, okay, bitch, you was fine. You know what I mean? Like it's just like, I think the absurdity played to itself in this situation, which I'm grateful for, but like, I think it's the self-advocation of like, I be quick to, for lack of being too vulnerable on the internet. I be quick to like, I'll think about shit like this time. I'm thinking about shit and I'm like, it comes down to, am I a good person? - Yeah. - At what point am I gonna be like, yes. Like at what point am I gonna be able to like, get the anxiety, like my therapist says, she'll always be like, you need to like, name that voice. You need to name like, as Ru would say, like the inner-stop it to her so that like when it comes you can genuinely be like, sup, bitch, like, dammit. Like, we got to point, man, we got to point, like that's fucked up. - Yeah. - But like, I think that is one of the lessons that I really learned because the spiral that I went down was just so, you know, obviously I think like anxiety and things like that feel very, very real. And that's why it's so powerful. It feels so visceral in the body. But ultimately like, it wasn't true or real. But like the ability to like, you know, get my shit pied-pipered, like I literally was like, wait, really? - Yeah. - Wait, you think so. Like actually, like, wait, really? And it's like, okay, what point am I gonna be like, oh, like I have this anxiety, like my anxious voice is being like, well, are you doing your best? Are you a good person? What point am I just gonna be like, yeah. - Yeah. - You know, that's the journey that I'm on right now and I'm grateful for that lesson because I think that like, you know, to that point, like a lot of the habit stacking or the habit building of, you know, we don't play about that self talk over here. Like, it is very, because ultimately it comes down to, in those moments when you really go reach for the shit, like in the garden tending of it all, like I literally was reaching for tomatoes, baby, I didn't plan that. Like I was like, no, tell them, tell them we char vests. - Yeah. - To my part literally was like, "Growing it, God, that is cease right now." I was like, wait, fuck. Locust motive of control. - Boom. - Whatever that fucking means. - It's like means that like, there's, there's two. I think there's like, there's one where it's like, you don't like, you know, cut path empty, cut path full. - Yeah. - But it's like a way of living. We're like, you know, it's just even forgiving yourself. We're like, you know, yeah, okay, maybe when I was like 12, I did some treasurer's ass shit. - And I did do actually a lot of treasurer's ass shit. - Yeah. And I think like for me, it's just like acceptance and like, taking on the position of like, even if I'm down bad right now or even of like, just even like the simple belief of like, this will end. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? 'Cause I think like this too shall pass in the most serious a fucking way. - Yeah, seriously. - And like, nevertheless, she still did actually fucking purses. Like, no. - I guess what we get to. Like, you literally, whether you like it or not, we persist, you know what it means to like, that's cool. - Yeah, and like in the most serious of fucking ways, like I think that like that, even the change of that position and mindset will really is what can like set you apart from this like, you know, turning, which and listen. If you have a whole ass derailment, like I mean like, your train literally flips off the tracks, which I see you. - My shit flipped off the track. I got like three wheels on this bitch. I'm like, hey, you know what I mean? We had three wheels today. - Like real bad. Like I think like, you know, 23, 24, 25, my shit was flipped off the tracks for like three years. And that was literally like, holding my head above water. Like, girl, we go get you, we go get you to show, we go get you to show our real fucking bad. - Yeah, the realness of that. - And like, you know, it's the thing that like, it takes time, it takes years, it takes investment in yourself. Like, I think that like, people, you know me, I be investing in myself, y'all. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, okay. I will also say from like a mind, body, spirit, place, very much outside of, you know, still feeling a little tenderism. I'm like, listen. - The best part about life is that it's really like all made up. - Yeah. - And that's kind of what started to get me out of the funk of it was I was like, okay, mama, it's that the self-inflicting is crazy. The self-inflicting of like, I mean, it has its place and like, it has its power. So I mean, I'm not saying that. Just like, it just like, guys, like, stop being eggs. Just like, you know what I mean? 'Cause if that was the case, I'd literally be floating right now like it'd be T. But like, I think just the remembrance that we are very much authors of our life, we're authors of our being in a lot of ways and that power is like there for us in terms of like a, you bit A. Listen, when I was 22, 23 bitches would say, affirmations, I'd be like, why the fuck would I do that? You dumb ass bitch. Baby girl, when I was at my darkest, I was on YouTube. Morning affirmations for self-love. You start building that shit. It really genuinely is as hard as it feels and sometimes as impossible as it feels and like, it feels so consuming. Negativity is such a consuming thing. Like shame, negativity, guilt, like, tricks you set on her on their podcast. She was like, shame is such a landfill fucking emotion and it's so true 'cause what is it to do, but take you out of like the present moment, which is all we have when it starts to turn to this. But all we have genuinely is like right now. And oh my God, how freeing is that? If I decided right in this moment that I actually wanted to go to culinary school, I could get up and walk out right now and go home and enlist in culinary school. Will you type in locus motive of control? Like loco, loco, loco, loco. It's something like that. - Well, I'm saying it's just remember that there's power, there's agency. - Locus of control. - And there's a, can you pull up the images? - Locus. - Oh yeah, see how perfect. - Sorry, it's not external versus external locus control. But it's just these two belief systems. It's just like this idea of like, you know, the world like, this shit's happening to me versus like, this is happening for me. - Yeah, totally. - So, you know, I agree with you. And I'm like, if any of y'all are like, really in the thick of this, there's diagrams and shit. You can like, look into and it's like. - Totally. - It's T bust down as fuck like. - Girl, honestly, just take a breath because it really is so insane that like, - No, I like it's the locus, no, it's locus. - With that. - Yes, yes, yes. It's like the happy, what like the one where the stars inside. - Like Hela. - Yeah, it's like passive and active. Like if you're active, like, I'm in control of my destiny. I like have the ability to like this. And then it's just like, ah, I go with the flow. And it's just like, whatever comes my way, I guess it's just like the fate that I'm granted. But anyways, with that being said, I'm really happy for you. - I'm attending to the inner world. I mean, hey, you know, I'll be happy for me probably like a week and a half. But I mean, I will say as an existential girl, you know what I mean, like it is, it's a humbling reminder to like they always say, you know what I mean, just drink water and be present. God damn it. Like does anyone care about being present? And also, unfortunately, you have to work for calm. Like unfortunately, you do have to work for calm and like that shit don't just like really come. So it's like, I think about y'all, anyone else who may be feeling like this. And apparently, you know, there's some things in the stars, the one can only hope because if not, I will be getting grip-soaked. And that's okay. - Yeah. And if I complete this move and it still feels like this, then I'm gonna have to, you know what I mean, like. - Yeah. - Hey, y'all my, yeah. I mean like, when shit change, shit's gotta change, like. - Shit's gotta change, bro, shit's gotta change. - When shit changes, shit's gotta change. - Like, I don't fucking know, I don't fucking know. - Like, I don't fucking know. - No, but excited for stability, realness. And like, thanks for following along on the journey of like trying to find a new place. Like, it's been really serious and it's been really fierce. So I'm all that to say, I'm just gonna blame that. on that until further notice, because if not, then I will be going back to my psychiatrist and asking for some things to test some things. Can I see some things? So can I see some things? Yeah, what's behind door number one? No, like so serious, I literally was calling my parents like sick to my stomach and then all of a sudden they were here. I was like, oh, hey, no love my parents. That's actually a joke, but. No, I mean, I mean move, they did. They helped me move, they took me through home goods, they took me through Ikea, shout out my parents. But I was like, scared y'all, huh? You scared? Who's scared? Who's scared? I was scared, I was scared. No, I was scared. Do you know, I mean it's some shit, bro, like, I do be some shit. I listen, I be in the cut sometimes. Yeah, no, the cut is something fierce nasty. Yeah, I mean, I was in the cut, bitch. I got myself the fuck together. I've been in my getting myself together, era. You love as a popcorn? I'm just like, I'm excited to get that. I'm excited to get that. Every day I'm in my getting myself together, era. Of course. I'm specifically right now, and I just like got myself the fuck together because we, Maya's conversation about moving and life. I have actually, I think like, you know, just sometimes shit gets like, oki. Yeah. She gets oki, she gets busy. It must be genuinely I'm telling you because there were a lot of divas in the chat talking about the stars. I'm like, it really must be, but I'm letting you know like, today, after my workout, I literally went, got like, the nastiest grocery run, like literally like, protein on protein. Like, like, fuck it, throwing some cottage cheese. Y'all guys be talking about that, like, yeah. And actually, organized this shit out of my life. Yeah. And it's giving like, I'm back in the Navy, y'all. Like, well, honestly, I'm not in the Navy, but I'm running my shit like a Navy bitch. I don't know what them niggas do. You know, 100% and honestly, it's giving like, God, I'm so excited to go to the grocery store. Like, I genuinely have not made a meal in like two and a half months. Oh, let's talk about this. Like, mental just fucked up. Let's talk about this last year because I was in my cooking era. Yeah. Like, you know, beginning of Q4, I was like, doing shit. I was like, okay. So I remember when you were cooking down, I was like, every morning, like literally when my roommates made a joke and was like, yeah, like every day rain or shine, like there will be a meal made in that kitchen. Yes. Well, just after Thanksgiving. And I brought a new pot and pan set, shout out, Caraway home, but like, not really. 'Cause like-- Okay, Caraway. I mean, I mean, I'm a shout y'all out 'cause like the pots and pans are tea. But it's like y'all ain't-- For me, like, I don't know. I'm like, y'all ain't even wanted. Hey, Caraway, if you're listening, like I also need new pots and pans and like, unfortunately, y'all look out my back. But like-- I'm like, can you? I'm like, do y'all want my nachos? Like, they didn't really want my nachos. Well, can you make nachos? Well, I got it. I'm gonna be their first question. Well, I said, do you want my nachos? And they said, well, no. And I said, well, shit is also-- Yeah. I said, let me run this Black Friday sale. So anyways, I did a bus down. I did a bus down on some new pots and pans last year. And through my bus down, I literally haven't used those pots and pans, like, actually, guys, like, when I tell you, y'all will be weak as shit. So I'm not going to tell you. But just know, like, what's today? February, Sunday? Just know that, like, I literally had to go and literally, like, don't power wash soap. Wipe it down. Like, that shit's been sitting in the cupboard. Like, just don't even tear away. Just to wave it. Yeah, yeah. No, I have cupboards, too. And I think I lost what color he is? You don't have-- Don't lie. I think I lost a whole set. No. Because I have the blue one. Remember when my package got stole off my front porch of the caraway? Yes. And then you got caraway for some-- You should talk to caraway then. Well, no. Because they should write my package. I'm going to talk my package. Yeah, they should write that wrong. Or whoever took them should write that wrong. So it's just so crazy. If you want, like, good starter stuff, figment, I don't know, like-- I've never heard of that. Oh, OK. They're bust-- Well, I did already buy some from-- Oh, you did? OK, I was going to say I'm, like, figment has, like, really good bust down, like, cookware for, like, a low price, like, a real-- I'm low. No, I mean, genuinely, like, a nice pot or a pan is-- Oh, perfect. Yeah, like, a pan is going to leave $30. Like, I got that whole set. I got, like, a whole set from them. It was, like, I know, versus my fucking caraway set. Yeah, because the caraway's be like, whoo, shit. But-- But they're so cute and-- They're shit, they're shit, really fucking teal. Oh, girl, deal. People. Theika simps. I got, like, a whole bust down, right, dude. I'm, like, has anyone ever, like, genuinely bought everything over because it really is, like, insane. Yeah, no, it is. But I will say, especially now that you're living alone, I'm, like, you know, I'm excited. You set the quality. Honestly, if I get, like, four more, like, if I got, I think once I, like, move into my place and I get, like, a week of just, like, my usual morning routine in, I'm actually, like, I'm literally about to be on Instagram. Like, mental health isn't real. Like, you guys are making that up. Because, honestly, I just need, like, four good, like-- Oh, like, I miss my morning routine. That's how I felt. I miss my morning routine. I miss eating things. No, they don't like that. Like, dead ass. I'm, like, went to the gym and thank God, shout out my trainer Nicole, like that bitch. First off, shout out Nicole in a nasty way because she's a been getting me the fuck together in ways y'all wouldn't even know about. Yeah. Part two, that. After, because I usually work out in the middle of the day because I was acting unemployed as shit. And, like, actually, go ahead and move my shit back to the morning. Let's go ahead and move my shit back to the morning because when I work out in the middle of the day, it's giving, like, unemployment hours. And it's just, like, actually, I have shit going on. So then, after I went to the grocery store and busted it down, then went home, made a meal. Then I showered. Then I was like, life is worth living. Yeah. Yeah. Like, literally washed my hair, did my skin care. And I was like, yes, mental health is fake. Because I feel fake. I feel actually freaking hashed out, freaking awesome. I'm really excited for that. Just missing. No, like, you do not recommend this long of a moving process. Can I just say it right now because I'm literally, like, I stress kills, like, my eggs and my fucked up, like, my fucked up, having eaten shit fucked up. Do we hate Goop Kitchen? Is she problematic? I think just Gwyneth Paltrow is it. That's, I mean, like, what? OK, I was just about to say, like, got my shit, like, from Goop Kitchen at this point. Like, I'm literally, like, you know, you know, you shit fucked up when it's like, I've genuinely-- because for some reason, spiritually, I can't even bring myself to take a pan out. Like, I feel like I'm living in, like, it's just like, that's such a weird-- and now, like, half of my shit is out of my apartment. So all I have is, like, my bed and breakfast. Like, I literally just have, like, my bed, my dresser, my two eyes, my gifs, and so for that, like, I literally can't even take out a pan. Like, for some reason, my mental and to the point of, you know, we have control over that. I could work past that. Just haven't been wanting to. Well, the thing is, though, it's, like, I think mentally, at this point, and spiritually, you're aligned with just, like, the new beginning, the real earth, so it's giving, like, it's kind of just, like, one of those things where, like, I'm gonna get right all Monday. It's just giving, like, a, I got one, two, three, four, low, one, two, bus, downs, and then, one, y'all are dealt with. It's just, like, one of the end that has been three months long. At genuinely, I will say I don't recommend that. I'm grateful for the time. I'm grateful for, like, all, you know, I'm grateful for the, I don't have to move out in a week, like, I can, like, whatever. But I will say spiritually, like, in some mind-body spirit, like, down to my root chakra type, shit. It's just kind of, like, it's a little cooked. It's a little cooked, 'cause it is. It's like the stepping, like, I'm, like, the meme where she's, like, stepping onto the next thing. Yeah. And so it's just, like, hard to, like, make, like, soup on the previous steps sometimes, 'cause I'm just, like, damn, like-- And, like, hey, I've had those eras where, like, Dordash literally just, like, kissing my forehead, holding my hand with my hand. No, that, that'll be a tax ride off right there. 'Cause I genuinely have been, like, it's, yeah, the mental health has been, you know? No, and just, like, better. No, listen, Dordash has been, like, scratching my head, rubbing my tummy. No, like, it's the only way I've been eating. A little too long. Like, and genuinely, I, like, like, again, like, had me googling fucking symptoms. I almost had synonyms, that. Had me googling symptoms because I was, like, guys, like, y'all forget stress kills. Y'all's me, 'cause I heard that for the first time, like, last week, I was, like, what? (laughing) What the fuck? Girl, I looked up long-term stress bitch, and that shit had a picture of me on it. Like, it was, like, loss of appetite, like, depression, rumination. I was, like, oh, yeah. And what if you would have just said that, though? No, be good. What if you would just say that? 'Cause I should kill eggs, but-- Yeah. Girl, my eggs will back, bitch, I'm literally, like, hear of the snake shedding my skin. Like, my shoulders, I'm being so serious right now. And if I don't even out by summer days again, y'all will see, my shoulders are literally, like, this color, I'm serious. Like, the new skin coming through my body right now, I'm literally like, okay, fuck it, from the bottom up. From the inside out, just take all of it. No, like, um, fill in, uh, okay. No, like, my shoulders are really, like, - Literally, like, blah, blah. Like it's actually like new skin realness. I'm like, "Man, fuck you all." - No. - But also shout out my body. I'm grateful for whatever you're doing. I'm just a little confused. Have that period in like three months. It's just like, y'all, don't get stressed. It's just not worth it. - No, it's not. - We live in stressful times though, so I understand, but it's just like, um. - Oh shit. - Well, the body does in fact, keep score. - The bot, well. And she like, 50 right now. I'm like, "Fuck," like, oh my god. - Well, yeah. The body keeps score in. The body is also like, keeping the teeth. - Well, the body's keeping, well, in the body said no coffee only tea, because honestly, like, the anxiety being so bad that usually I have a coffee, maybe that's a zan. My ADHD, it literally like, shh. I've been having coffees lately, and I'm literally like, "I'm gonna take my skin off." Like, I'm like, "I'm gonna pop all my nails off." And then I'm going to literally take my skin off with a warm spoon, okay? And then we're gonna start over like, it's fucked up. I can even have a coffee no more. - No, and not anxious. That should so real that happened to me the other day. Oh my god, I was actually like, going to like, dead ass, like, take all my skin off. - Shake my skin off and literally sew it into a coat. Like, I'm literally like. - What the hell? - No, I actually almost peeled my shit back. So nasty, like, it was crazy as fuck. - I was laying in bed, like, uh-uh. Someone, this is a Drew's ski. Like, the Drew's ski is like, the girl who was like, crashing out, and she was like, you're gonna need a tranquilizer. - No, like, I need train. - No, it was literally truck, like, I think I'm gonna also train in this house. - I was, I was telling Dom, I literally like, it got so dark for a second that I really was like, honestly, y'all, chuck the deuces up, chuck the deuces up. I think I'm gonna die in this house. - No, girl, and sometimes it's like, girl, I almost need an ambient, die out. - Well, no, it makes it exact. 'Cause it's just like, you know, white women on ambient. - Yeah. - Literally just be doing shit. - They do. - I knew this white girl on ambient. - That's a great drag name, ambient. - And what about Sandroge and E? - What about Sandroge and E? If you're in the live stream, if you know, you know. - Guys, actually, let me handle business real quick. Tell me why. So we do a live stream, which reminds you guys, we've been doing these quarterly monthly, it varies, about monthly quarterly. What would you say, Sandroge? - I don't know. It's gonna be monthly. - It's gonna be monthly. - Moving up to monthly, we came to live stream. - We came to live stream. We came as soon as we heard that they're monthly. Anyways, we've been doing these really fun live streams and we did a Christmas one. We did a Halloween one. Yesterday we played overcooked and Mario Kart that actually had the inside of my palms, like, girl fuck you, like, heart of fall. - Missing Mario Kart. - But no, y'all were tearing it up on IG live. I was not. With that being said, in the middle of the live stream, we ordered Subway. Shout out, fucking Izzy, always. - Shout out, no, yeah, y'all bitches don't even fucking know. - And like, everyone who held it the fuck down, Grace, Nag, Evan, like, y'all, y'all, y'all, they're really nice. - That's family. That's family. So I ordered Subway and obviously, they ordered it to a residential, okay, no, sorry. I ordered it to where we currently are sitting. - Yes. - This do. - Right. - It's actually just a standalone one bedroom in the middle of-- - In the middle of-- - In the middle of Noelle's house. So anyway, we ordered the Noelle's house, right? - So we ordered it to Noelle's house. It didn't go to Noelle's house. It actually went to some random residents with like the American flag. Don't try to outblast the American flag. - Like trust passing. If you trust pass, like bitch. If you trust pass, I'm gonna show you a trust ass. - No, literally. - Trust that ass, don't get fucked in bitch, let me not, sorry. - So, he said, he shunned me the picture. I'm like, where the hell is that bitch? Is that-- - Look, I don't think Noelle got the don't tread on me, but you got no kick. - No, right. That's just like the arcing sass. I was like, bitch, is that even in LA? I don't know. - Right. - Well. - So is he's like, oh, that must be across she goes. Is he goes? - Fearless way. - Mind you, fearless way. - Should have brought a bulletproof vest. Because she knocks on the door. - Well, because, well, why would she knock on the door? Because maybe the food's gone. - Oh, the food's gone. - Mind you, this is within genuinely like maybe two minutes. - No, like-- - You saw the picture as he was like, oh, girl, period. And then it was within like literally two or three minutes. - Yeah, and so the food's gone. Is he knocks on the door? And the dog start barking. And is he's like, actually, you know what, girl? I value life. - Well, 'cause God bless America alone. If I literally walk up and there was no food, I'd be like, all right. They have it. They have it. - So they took it. - They took it. - They took it. - They took it and I hope they enjoyed their rotisserie chicken, barbecue, fucking half inch bitch. - And I know. - Fuck guys, bitch and jalapeno chips and fucking blue gatorade bitch. - Blue gatorade bitch. And genuinely, I'm not kidding on souls. Enjoy that steak and cheese. - Honestly. - Because that is genuinely-- - I'm sorry. You already know. I'm literally like more fit. More fit, flipping around, turn it upside down. They must have been hungry. And we have to take solace. And honestly, like, we could take like joy. And the fact that like, honestly, I would presume, like, I guess my dream scenario happened is like, they like opened the door and like, they were like really hungry or maybe like, their kid or something was really hungry. And then they were like, oh, it's up way. - Carmically? - And then they took it. - Carmically, I wouldn't align myself. I mean, I wouldn't do it. But since like, Carmically, we are aligned with that, I would just hope that they really enjoyed it. I mean, we ordered some good sandwiches. - We did. So, Carmically, I wouldn't do that. But like, I also knew Carmically, if Izzy kept knocking on that shit, they would have pulled out a musket or a civil war cannon. - Yeah. - To the fucking door. 'Cause their shit was genuinely giving, like, musket through the stair. - It was musket through the stair. - Well, and it was giving God Bless America. Like, I'm like, well, and God bless it. Okay, there you go, free stuff, wake up. - I was gonna sleep. I opened the door and there was two, six-inch fucking bus down. So, I'd be like, God bless them. (laughing) I'd be like, hey, God bless the USA. - Girl, they would have hot musket through the fucking drink. - Baby. - And I know that sandwich good. And I can only hope that it would have a bunch of good us. - I know that shit was fine. The rotisserie extra barbecue sauce, throw all the veggies on that shit period. I got you all like three food groups. - What about the steak and cheese with lettuce, banana peppers, mayo. - Loss me a mayo. - Subway's mayo, you all. - Loss me a mayo. - Which like, if you fuck with like the subway mayo teas, bitch, that shit. What do they do? - I make it up. - I make it up one time. I try to go on Reddit and like, look it up. But this guy says that it comes from like, he worked out subway and he was like, we get it like, yeah, you want else to find that there's something? - That's a lot of subway mayo. I was on this Reddit thread. - I also hate mayo, maybe I need to try it. It's made with, yeah, it's like gets, yes. Like it literally just gets like delivered randomly as fuck. - Oh, I can get behind this. - Okay. - I don't know, there's a mayo. - Oh, it's not craft mayo, it's not bitch. It's not. It's something else I swear. - There's nobody know. - Did anyone work it subway that can tell us what the tea is on the mayo? - I know and I saw someone say it got, it gets delivered in just like a big ass bag. - Yeah, 'cause that's, yeah. Like they ain't gonna give 'em a bunch of jars of mayo. - Tasting table have to say. - It's especially made for subway. - Yes, I asked to be like, what mayonnaise? - Oh, that look good. - 'Cause it's so bass, it's so bad. - No, no. - It's so fucking bass. - And it's like, don't look at me. Affirm yourself to that point, affirm yourself, okay? - You could like go in person and ask the boss man to sell you like a big ol' bag of it. - You, though, while I just give it to you in a big hot cup, like Taco Bell does with the cheese. - But I'm gonna need the expiration date, tease. - Well, then it'll be not that day. - I know. - Maybe a week out. - Be the hero. - That is really fucking gross. I'm sorry. - It looks like a date. - Oh, here we go. - That's worse. - That's actually the way it's tried for every day. - Guys, I've not a steak in forever. - Actually, love it. - Even though I'm on my red beach. - I was gonna make. (laughing) - Honestly, I've been eating red meat again and it's at the point now where it doesn't rip my insides out anymore, so we should go to the Korean barbecue. - Girl, I've been, have you been? Since? - Should we go after? - Today? - Yes. - Oh. - In the sunset, huh? - You're gonna shake it all around? - No. (laughing) - You're gonna shake it all around? (laughing) - Are you doing it again? - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughing) - You know why I went today though? - You know, let's talk about it. Bitch, I went to community goods today. - Bitch! - I had to put the girls on. - No, no, didn't. - Shout out Nathan Valerie. - Never been. - Listen to me, listen to me. Let's shout out Pedro, A. - Love it, y'all have been building at the community of goods. Architecture? Architecture? Across the street, the bookstore? - Uh-huh. - There's books there, don't worry. But they sell first off, pink lemonade. - Okay. - Matcha. Dude, they don't have matcha, sorry. They have some sort of coffee bus on something. It's an extension of community goods. It's their new-- - I see, I see. - They have a hot dog that's actually so fucking bus in your mouth bitch, you don't even know. They have a breakfast for you though now. That's actually so bus inside. [BLANK_AUDIO] It literally buses inside your mouth. - So nasty, man. You'll never need a bus again. Then they have this new chicken plate. Can we pull it up? - The chicken. - It's like a chicken cutlet. And then it's like, it's, or chicken caught too? - Maybe. (laughs) - Let's find out. Let's find out. - It's actually architecture. - Yes. - Yes. - Yes, yes. - You are saying architecture. - She clocked your tea. Sorry. - It's okay. - No, honestly, and Savvy doing that. - 10 to 6, like, honestly, period bitch. Like, oh, huh. - Well. - Ricotta Donut. - It would let me. - Ricotta Donut. - If we could go on their Instagram, they'd know. - Oh, here we, my God. (laughs) Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm sorry, I was born, Maya. - Oh, I'm not. - Can I say I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - I'm not. - I'm not, I'm sorry about that. - And I'm sorry. - I'm very grateful, actually. - Oh, I guess. - Oh, oh. - Wait, uh-oh. - Oh, yeah, they don't have pictures I got. - Wait, fuck. - Wait, Dom. - What the fuck are we gonna do? - Hey, Maya. (laughs) - Do you want me to? - Ooh, breakfast. I mean, what? (laughs) I'm done. - I'm sorry. - I'm done. - And I'm like, let's, um, with meringue. - Mm. - Okay. - Ooh. - I need a, I think, I don't have a picture. - I had a fucking, mm, mm. - The patashiotos is really good. - The patashiotos? (laughs) That sounds delicious. That sounds delicious. - You know what, I'm sorry. - I didn't know what, I didn't know what, I didn't know what. - You know what, no fucking worries, bitch. - No. - 'Cause I'll quit. - Wait, so. - Well, all I have to say is that, um, shout out architecture, I'll be trying that. Um, I just, wow. 'Cause the thing about community goods is that, I didn't get a coffee there today, which I wish I would've got a coffee there. - Oh, but you got the breakfast. - I went down the street. - Yeah, 'cause it was giving me thought there, baby, you know, I know where to sit. You ain't going to, and I was thinking about how, well, I feel like when we went, it wasn't like as, you know, we used to go like all the time. I feel like it wasn't as like bust down as it is now. Like, it's gotten a lot more power. It's just got like, a knife, 'cause it was still popular, but it just got like, like the fucking 30% more popular, it takes like, now you deadass can't sit down, 'cause I'm like, growing up, baby, you're now, let's talk about that. - New hack, huh? - You could sit out architecture, 'cause they have hell-a-seeding indoor tea. - Well, I'm wishing I knew that, because it basically just gave like, when we got there, the line was so goddamn long, and there was no table that I was like, well, we should just go to another coffee shop, and like, we did the, we did the verb pull. But, then goddamn sliders. Like, one thing about, oh, listen, we can read community goods for the bridges, perhaps, being a little too big, okay? They got five people working back there fearlessly, trying to get like 500 people through the door, like within an hour, so like, you know, it's no tea. But like, we can't say that they ain't good. - Oh, no. - I'll never hear, I'll never hear that. - No, I mean, the chef is bumping. - Bitch, those breakfast sliders, literally like that kiss to be on the mouth. I'm like, yes, I tried it with bacon today, now that I read me, holy shit. - No, literally, it's like, that should sit on it. - And that sauce, yeah. Well, now they have that sauce for the breakfast burritos, and then it's fucking-- - The tangy ones. - Yeah. - Or the aioli, but not aioli, whatever it is. - Well, they have a green sauce, and then they have the tangy hot sauce, bitch. I actually was like, ♪ Let me sit down ♪ ♪ Right on ya ♪ 'Cause I just like, I don't even know what going on in that neighborhood, no, ma, but I will say, and I'm so, sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to people who live in Fairfax District. I, mine as well, get a gondola to get through those streets. - The traffic? - I don't think you're side of town's any better. - I think it's way better. 'Cause I can get to place to place in like 10 minutes, it took me to get from Verved Community Goods to take me 20 minutes. - Why? - 'Cause there was traffic. - You could just literally take those back alleys. - Okay, well, sorry, I didn't take the back alleys. - I'm sorry, I thought it was a mile away, so it would take five minutes. - 20 minutes is my-- - Dude, it took literally like 16 minutes. - And I remember in Fairfax, that was always, when I lived on Fairfax, that was always, the most traffic was getting on to the freeway. It used to take me 30 minutes every single time, and that's why everywhere it took me an hour. - Yeah, yeah. - Like for some reason, that specific pocket of Fairfax kind of like getting to the Beverly Center, like the street traffic is like out of this world. - No, from San Vicente and like all that shit, bro, is like hell on earth, actually. - Yeah. - As long as I am. I mean, I don't live like, I live like adjacent to it, not like in the cut like that. - Yeah, 'cause you're not Fairfax District, but, you know, that used to be my fucking city. - But I'm like, you know, I'm adjacent, but I mean, I live like so central that like, I don't even, like-- - Yeah, 'cause you have hell like, I think what makes the difference is that like over there, like there's like major streets, but when I think about, well, I don't wanna dox you, but I'll just say, like in the Fairfax District, I just think there's so many like, almost residential, like I don't know how, 'cause it's like, it's taking the small ways that I'm like, oh my God. - Yeah. - Like it's like, hell of heads and God forbid there's a fucking trash can out, like it's over with. It's over. - Yeah. - And so I was like, "Bitch, I might as well just walk." - Also, the street signs are like fucked on Thursdays because they do trash on one side. As I know, someone who lives like in that area, I'm like, they do trash on one side. Then they close, one of the streets, they close, for a couple hours, then the other side is of it, they fuck it. - It's crazy. - It's crazy. - Fuck it from the side, actually. - Dude, it's actually like-- - Fuck those things. - They, take those streets and fucking from the side, it's actually madness how they be closing and opening shit down, like, and make it one lane, but sometimes it's two, sometimes it's three. - It literally be two lanes for 200 feet, and then they be like, it's one again, I'm like-- - No, and people be dodging and weaving and shit's fun. - Well, it was giving nostalgic. Like I literally was over there. Like I forgot I used to spend all my time trying to get from like, hey, worth to fucking Fairfax. Like, this is absolutely bonkers. - Yeah, like they're true. - Love it over there, but holy hell. - Yeah, just give me some healies and I'll handle it. Like, no, like y'all, I don't know. - I'm looking out. - Lebray art. - I'm like, I don't know. - Yeah. - Like, I don't know. - Anyway, so what else? - Well, like, be in Burger King. - Dude. - She's minding it. - Dude. - Oh, she's looking for it? - I have a tension. - Just looking for it. - Yes. - Yesterday, when you guys ordered Subway, I was telling the chat, like, yeah, that just probably would hurt my tummy. They did it. - You had Subway before? - No, I went to Panda Express after. - Oh, girl. - All right, what? - Okay. - What, confession? - It's also arguably worse for my tummy. - No. - No, because that's like the vegetables. And this is coming from your friend, who's only been eating it for like six months. So at this point, I'm like, I also ordered Panda last week for the super grains. Like, I was like, do you guys remember grains? - Yeah. - 'Cause like, door dashing is fun in games when you do it like once a week or like, once every two weeks. You can order like literally like the curse splat fucking like bus down. But like, when you start like living on it, it's like, then you start like ordering a coupon. - No. - And Panda, there was not a green on my plate. - Yeah, you have. - Panda, well, 'cause see, you cook. - I'm sure. - Yeah, so I've done a good job. - Like, I'm genuinely, I'm being so dead off serious when I say, I think I've gone to the grocery store twice and both times I got ice cream and chips. - Yeah. - That's why I didn't give you that. - I had to become an Instacart girl, listen. - No. - I praise, I love Instacart. Number one. Y'all let me know if there's something to talk about that business model. But number two, maybe that's where I got my start. - Yeah. - That's how I paid my rent for the first year. I was here, maybe I was Instacarting in this motherfucker, bro. Driving up to weathering heights. - Genuinely? - Right. - I'm serious. I used to drive up to houses that I was like, honestly, while I'm here, I'm gonna just ran my car through your front. Because honestly, like, I'm about to come in and eat y'all and then I'm gonna leave. Like, say like eat the rent. - Eat the rent. - Eat the rent. - Dude, when I Instacart first off, it will forever always be cheaper than what I be doing on fucking Dordache. 'Cause my Dordache, shit, has never been normal. - Well, can? - Be like, you want a burger 25? I'm like, all right, that makes sense. (laughing) And also, I do the shit where I'm like, oh, who I wanna add? Next thing you know, my shit's always, always, Hundo, Hundo Pee, Hundo Pee, always. - Oh, baby, he's a double-dash. - I don't double-dash. - The double-dash? When I literally ripped my shirt off and it says double-dash because at that point, it's just like, okay, I'm paying $30 for a hot dog and a chip. Okay, fuck it, $8 more I can get a boba? Go ahead and add that eight and I'm gonna tip that driver too. So then it's like, that's 85. - Yeah. - That's not the way it sounds when you want to say it. You don't say it. - No, no, I mean. - So then it's like, 7-Eleven Double-dash. Like, let's just get some shit. - Dude, what's up with you, sped up? - So, boy, you had two days. (laughing) - Actually? - Am I doing that I went home and I doredacheed again, and I double-dash. And I double-dash because here's the realty. Here's like, here's how double-dash be fucking me from the side. Personally, is I live next to a 7-Eleven. I live next to a 7-Eleven by the time this comes out, I won't live there anymore. But like, I live next to a 7-Eleven. So the double-dash, always a big goal. But then it can't just be a big goal. So then it's a big goal. - Bro, dude, it's a big shit. - So a cookie on top. - Bro, I fucked around our door-dash manager last night. (laughing) I was literally looking through my medicine cabinet like, I'm gonna just take a benedral, like honestly, I can't, like, hey, shut up that one. - I know, no, a little sleepy, yeah. - No, for real, 'cause I literally was like- - I needed a benedral last night, oh my god, my allergies have been just fucked up. - I'm thinking it's something in the wind. - No, I will also, when it rains, it like really kicks shit up. So it like, makes your allergies like even worse, and it's been a long time. - It's been windy and raining a little bit. - It's literally been so, like, genuinely shit got me so dry that like every time the wind blow like a piece of skin fall off, like I'm like, damn it, you know what I mean? - I have some stuff for you if you want, like, a little bust down hydration moment. - If I'm being well, and that's the thing is, I'm gonna have to go to the dermatologist. - Well, I feel you, I'm just saying, like, I have, I give it to Lisa, 'cause you know, Lisa has her ex-mess, like, on the same level as yours. - Boom. - And I'm like, I have some skincare stuff that she uses that I, it's, do you know lion pose? They have, they have a really good moisturizer and it's like a skin barrier. Do you still use that stuff sometimes? - No, but I like to do a lot. - Yeah, it's really, really fucking good. And I like put Lisa onto it. And also the summer of Friday's hydration mask is like-- - I just get so scared, that's my tea. - I would say the lion pose one with utmost safety, 'cause like, we went to the event that they had here and she was like, it was literally the scientist who was like giving us the, like, the-- - Me watching the one-D documentary. It literally was a doctor. Like, no, but it literally was a doctor. - It's just back to it. - But, no, it just, yeah. - Yeah, I'm sure, yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure. - But she was like telling us a tea, 'cause she was one of the people who like made it and she was like explaining like, what it does and stuff. - Anyways, I gave it to Lisa, 'cause her ex-mo was like, really, really like, flaring up. And she was like, that shit like has helped my skin so much. Now she like actually buys it all the time. But I'm like-- - You wanted to try that? - Yeah, I tried a moisturizer like last week, like a new one and I just forget that I'm literally the most sensitive girl ever. But I tried it and that shit literally, like fried my skin off, it was actually crazy. - No, there's some shit that will fire your skin off. - The Ole Hendrix one, the strength, peptide, booster, it's the same, it's the same kind of formula as the line pose one, but it's for your skin barrier. It's in the purple. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That one is very-- - She's packed up, and you try it. - It's very bust out. - No, I'll do a little one too, it's just like so. - I get it, it's really scary. That's why I recommend that one, 'cause I know like, you know. - No, obviously not all ex-mo is the same, but I feel like Liza struggles without on like the same kind of like, you know. She'd be having flare-ups, Booty. - Great focus, I'm like, it's so, you know, I used to have the craziest ex-mo as a kid, like actually, it was so crazy. - I'm like, I really only, now I really only get it like around here, like all my eyes, and right now, I'm like, it's been up here and it fucking hurts so fucking bad. - No, yeah, my eyes fucked up. - It's just like shit's like cracked Bootsie. - And I just love picking skin. Can I say it? Sorry, not to be gross, but I'm like, let me pick my ex-mo. - No, I'll be honest, 'cause I know somebody out there sees me. - Yeah, me like. - No, that's real, it's like, I would like put like, Elmer's glue on my hand, and then just like. - Oh, yeah. I wish I got sunburns, 'cause I'd be seeing bitches in the summer when they shipper. I'm like, I literally feel like a monkey. - Take me through there. That would be such a good like, in, you know, I'm sure they probably have something like it. - And the, like, I was gonna say putty, like fuck, how old is my fucking 75? - What are you talking about? - Oh, fucking slime, what do you want slime for? - No, but I'm saying people who work in like, the slime industry, like, 'cause you know. - Oh, the glir. - The glir. - They also have the pick pads. - Well, that's what I was gonna say. - But I don't wanna pick, I'm not trying to pick like, buttons out. - No, I'm saying the, the peel. That's what I'm saying. I feel like they should create some sort of like, something like that. - Sunburn pad. - Yeah, like a sunburn pad or like one that, like, mimics acne or like one that mimics like. - Love the thing you like. - I've seen that. - Ooh, that one. - And you get a light. - That's what I'm saying. Yeah, spank it. - What? - What you got going on today? - I'm a little concerned. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - I'm like, okay. - What? - You can't give it a little spinky poo poo. - Okay. Yeah, I have me on poo poo poo, how? - Yeah, so it's just like, oh fucking no. Did you see that guy at the Olympics who confessed that he cheated on just fucking wife or whatever? - What? - Guys, what? - Or not confessed? Did you already know? - No. - I think she already knew. - Well, I don't, at least he publicly confessed. - Okay, I saw something that said that he was saying, like, oh, I did this so that like, okay. - Just run it. - Just run it. Men doing shit. Just another day at the office. - Oh, sorry, still on the, still don't have YouTube-D. - Do you want to use my YouTube-D? - It's okay, it's just five and a half. - No, I can add you on my profile. - I know, I'm on Stevie's shoutout Stevie. - Oh really? - Yeah, you can, I can add you to my- - There's like a family situation. - Yeah. - Okay. - But the real story is coming from off the race course. You may have heard about that. - Let's see if that is. - It's still a home leg guide. It took home the bronze medal. And he brought some even the goal of you to make quite the statement. Talking to the Norwegian Broadcasting Corps, he confessed to cheating on the love of his life and in an attempt to win her back, he went on to say this. I realized that this is the woman of my life and I can't live my whole life keeping that from her. My only path to the finish line is to tell her everything and put it all on the table and hope that she'll still love me. I've done that for her and now for the entire world. - Okay, hold on. - My understanding of this is my understanding of this. - He thinks he's a very deaf friend. - No, he did robbery and he thinks he's Scott Henry. - I thought the situation. - Okay, enough from you. - Enough, I don't know his name anymore because of you. - Enough on Scott, Jeffrey. - Dude, I thought, okay, from the news source, which being Instagramographic, I thought the vibe was his girlfriend already knew. And so he was like, oh, I'm about to embarrass myself on some like whatever, baby and here, and hey, let's, how about we for, we can full circle this before we send y'all off. Let me full circle this to the point. - Baby, you fucked up, you fucked up. Can I tell you something? You fucked up, I'm talking to him. You fucked up. - You fucked up, now. - The atonement and the fucking self-acceptance that you seek is between you and her. And then you and you. Because why are you winning an Olympic medal and they got you fucking snot running down, and I just, baby girl, baby girl, Nicole Kidman, go home, talk to her, hold her hands over the table like this. Put your head down, you know what I'm saying? Let a tear fall out and talk to her. Because you guys touch the eating you. - No, I'm like, no shade, but again, that just, oh, shade, actually, all the shade. - All the shade and like, all the shade and all the tea in the world, because here's the thing. In the most serious way, that again, it shows how egotistical he is. Because why on God's green, right? It's already, we need. - God's white, there you see. - On God's white, on God's fresh pal. - On God's fresh pal. - That he like created so they can have the winter Olympics in Milan. - Exactly. - Why would you just simply put it? Go ahead and say all that. Mind you, not, she's not with you. Mind, you're only hoping she watching. And if you're with your ex, I'd be like, fuck you. - And that's what I mean. He thinks he's doing some sort of life. - He's trying to be on his 10 things I hate about you, fuck you. - Yes. - How in the football field like, I love you. - Girl. - Niggit, you cheated, she did. - You cheated. - You cheated, you cheated, pumpkin eater. - Numero, do to me, again, go talk to her. - Your forgiveness and your freedom lies but twix to this interpersonal relationship that you go talk to her. - You've shown forgive you. - And also, I'm like, okay, so first off, if someone cheated on me, we already know what would happen. I've talked about it actually two billion times. Talk about rumination. The rumination of if I ever got cheated. Like, honestly, dream scenario to fall asleep too. Top two dream scenarios to fall asleep too. Like me and the future of me and the love of my life. The other dream scenario, if I ever got cheated on. - And how would get my back. - And how would get my lick back, Nassie, that would be straight to sleep with my mouth open. - Because, baby, you're already now. If I got cheated on and then the mother fucker that cheated on me, everyone know I'm dating this mother fucker. They go online national television and say, I cheated on her and I want you to know that I want you back so badly. And that was the biggest mistake of my life. I would actually have to fill your body with marbles. I would actually. - Because why, do you all mind if I make some edits? Why wouldn't you go to the camera and be like, hey, I love you. I fucked up, you know what I mean? But I want you back. Okay, period, that would probably get the like, you know, I check your gram. I check your gram, I might send you little text. OMG, the thought of being at home and you just found out you're fucking man cheated on you from the Olympic broadcast. - I'm running, I'm running to Milan. Like, I'm literally running so goddamn fast, I'm running to Milan over the water. - And it's just like, over bronze? - Over bronze. - I'm not saying, I haven't eaten. It'll, I haven't gone on no skis. I haven't gone on no snowboard. So I'm not about to say like bronze ain't shit. - But this was his moment they gave him the camera. But it's just like, again, I fear that like, the soft hum and the greatest gift of like, always and forever being able to have access to forgiving yourself. yourself is gonna be an internal battle, my king. You didn't have to go on CBS, what you needed to do was sit down with the journal, light a candle, and light some polo santo in them, a fucker, and let it rip. - And let it rip. - And let it rip, and let it rip. And I'm like, look, you're on TV and we're talking about it. - You're now, it's just like my embarrassing, professional news. - Now it's literally my embarrassing ass act who already embarrassed the fuck out of himself, cheated on me. - Oh. - You're trying to drag me through the mud. - No, it's too. - Not only looking me up on Graham, it's like, girl, enough. Like what you seek is within you, wife, ear. - Then confesses to a feral mind. - He regrets it allegedly. - I would too. - I would too. - I would too, 'cause why did I say that out loud? - I would also like instantly be like, send me to the ranch, bro. - No, send me to the dodge. - Maybe I'm going to the cottage. - Send me to the Dr. Phil Ranch. - Oh, oh. - They're dragging him, I'm ready, they're dragging him. - 'Cause I'm gonna let him kill him. - That is like, that is the most ego-tistical shit in the whole entire world. - Thought he was humorous. - He, no, he thought he was Henry Scott, when he literally Scott Henry, sorry, I don't know his-- - Scott didn't, what? - No, but that's what I mean. This is what I mean about obviously what Henry Scott, Scott Henry did. That was so noble was the fact that he had so much to lose in that moment. Fear, he could have let fear keep him in hiding, and he won the love of his life back. - Yes. - This man thought that by he had so much, whatever was weighing him the fuck down, he got that in the hotel room. (laughing) He thought if he had confessed that shit, that he would quite literally win the love of his life back, like Scott, Henry, Henry Scott did. That actually is quite literally what the fuck did not happen. Six months ago, I met the love of my life. - Well, this is what he said. He said, six months ago, I met the love of my life, the most beautiful, wonderful person in the world. Three months ago, I made my biggest mistake and was unfaithful to her. - Three months in. - Mm-hmm. I told her about a week ago. - Oh, when I told her about it a week ago. Okay, I don't know. - Honestly, it's just like-- - Okay, fine. - It's just they must still be talking. It's just giving like-- - You're coming. - You're coming. - It's too much. - It's too much. - That's amazing. - When they step out, y'all gon' be sick. Because this is giving y'all still key. Well, mind you, he told her a week ago, so I don't know, but this is giving me like-- - This mind you, you're already told there. So then it does take, like in my head, that kind of takes-- - But it took three months for you to tell her a week ago, I bet threats were swarming around. Because it's giving, it's giving this. Three months in to y'all. You cheated, cheated, pumpkin-eated. - Like, you damn. - Okay. - To make it three months. - Okay. So then you waited three more when you found out she was the love of your life, I.G. - To literally-- - No, 'cause you literally-- - Okay, go ahead, sorry. - So then he literally confessed a week ago that like, hey girl, like did some bullshit on ya. - Well, 'cause this is his Hail Mary. Like now that's making sense in the sense of like, okay, so he's not gooping her on live TV, but what happened is he already told her, and then that's when he turned into like, the ghost of every rom-compasse where it's like, oh, so you already talked to her? Probably didn't get the key you were hoping for. And now it's our business. - Yeah. - Like now you gotta be like, ah, ah. And it's like, again, here it is again, men. And I know all y'all weren't set up to succeed in the emotional department, so it's no T. We all die under patriarchy, you know what I'm saying? Again, when you told her and she was sick and blocked you, which you needed to, well, and I'm not gonna tell you what you need to do, but with another option that you weren't on Good Day America and so that we aren't talking about it, like not even in the same language that you said it, like we're literally across the globe talking about it, is sitting with yourself, talking to yourself. Hey, what the fuck was that? Hey, I fucked up. That was some dog dirty shit, bro. And that really, I think that cost me my wife, okay? I think that really cost me my wife. And like, I got a whole space for him, okay? I got a whole space. He needed to do that for himself. Because now when you don't do that, now you're on TV, like I cheated on her mind, you she already knows. So it's like, why do we gotta know? Why do we gotta know? - And my dude told me to take it yours. - So told me you seek his yours, mind you. I cheated on her. It was the biggest mistake of my life, take me back. My, that's like actually proposing to someone in the middle of Applebee's, trying to, that's your Hail Mary to save your wife, Jerry. Like it's just like the person who proposes in the middle of the mall and that bitch about to say no 'cause she's mad at you. - No, well, she's gonna say no now. It's awkward for all of us because again, it's just like, baby, like, let's tap into the infinite well of like, presence. Hey, you ain't gonna do that again, you sick. All right, step forward, my king. Take your coat off my king and walk forward in your own compassion and your own grace. Because when you don't, why the fuck, I gotta know about that. - Why? - I didn't even know it was the Winter Olympics. - Come on, Jiu, so period, I don't know. - If I was her, I would actually, I'd have to buy a musket. - She's weak. - Honestly, I think, I think, I think this might work. I think it might work in the sense that. - I mean, yeah, she's weak as fuck. - It's so loony tunes. Like, it's honestly so. I will say he kinda ate in the sense of like, for me as a bystander, I don't, I'm like, listen. I don't need your, I don't want the rest of video, Mom, Peach Cobbler, I'll say it. But I will say, if my man did me dirt, dirt, nasty, dirt, dirt, nasty, dumb, dirty bitch, and then gone on like live television, like, gone on like the prices right or something, it was like, I'm so sorry. I'm a piece of shit, like, I'm a piece of shit. I low-key be like, okay, like, literally gone on, is it real or is it case? Or is it cake and started crying? Like, honestly, like, I will say, there's something kind to you about that in the sense of like, I might be like, he really got on his knees. He got on his knees in front of everybody, in front of everyone, in front of everyone. - Fuck no, get the fuck out of the way. - It's kinda kind of, it's kinda, it's kinda kind. - Get, get, show it. - It's kinda kind of, 'cause honestly, it's like, there's no groveling that he could have, like, he must have already like outgrawled, like, what he could do between two people. Do you know what I mean? Where it's like, he got on his knees, he cried, blew a snot bubble, and she still didn't take him, so he really got on the national stage, the international stage. - I'm like literally like, accidentally farted in front of her, but he was like, literally farted in like, sneezed, and like, snot came out in front of everybody. And so now it's just kinda like, okay, you gotta eat that. You kinda ate that, you know what I mean? - No. - And I'm also just, because I'm like, a six month relationship. Personally, like, personally, if I won an Olympic medal, and we ain't like four years deep with the kid, I ain't doing that shit. - I will be very sorry. - Well, mind you, I would never cheat, but if you're some reason I did, I would be so sorry. I would. I would be like, this has been the best six months of my fucking life. Bitch, we could take it all the way. We could take it all the way if you'll let me. But I ain't listening. I go up there, I skate to the minions. I'm not coming down like, in my six month relationship. - Six months. - And also, he's just giving, he don't know ball at all. - Baby, he ain't never touched a pen. - He ain't never touched a pen. - He ain't never hit a paper because let me tell you, he wouldn't have that shit sort of booty. - And I'm like, Mama, like, one, like all he needed was like two guided meditations, five days of affirmations where like, the background is glittery with like a hum sound. And that would have been enough to just take him off the ledge of like, saying that after he won like an Olympic medal. - You could do it at like, the bros, at the, when you get back to the hotel, oh, guys, like, oh, like, I wish my girl was here. Like, I wish it happened. - Like, a period pookie but like, on NBC. - On, on NBC. - On USA Today. - On USA Today. - On USA Today. - They out there, gasping. - And there was, and there was, and there was literally seven bitches on a couch. (laughing) Cut it. - (laughing) - Like seven bitches over 50, like, what? - Oh, I'm sick. - I'm sick. - I'm sick. - I'm sick. - I'm sick. - I'm sick. And I'm thinking about you, my brother. - No, I'm not. - 'Cause now it's worse, 'cause now when he get home and it didn't work, like, again, they're gonna go the voices again. - Well, I'm saying, I, yeah, you're so right. Like, she's weak as shit, bro. - I would be weak. - That would go nasty in the group chat, like, I would literally be in the group chat, like, actually, in stitches back. (laughing) - He literally, like, literally, like, got oiled up for her. You know what I'm saying? Like, he got oiled up on TV and was like, you're all I have. - No, you're all I want, like, I'm like, all right. - No, he did full front to on TV and like, still didn't get laid, pay. - He did full front. - But, ultimately, again, you know, the whole theme of, like, this whole thing is like, hey, all we have is now, okay? All we have is now. And thank God that, like, at the very, very core with all the noise just, like, fuck all that fucking noise, bro. You have the boundless well of kindness for yourself, forgiveness for yourself, and empathy. And I'm wishing some of that on my king because I hope he knows that the well of forgiveness is not behind the Olympic camera. - It is in his God-given divine body. - And maybe, like, a moleskin journal. - And a moleskin journal. - And a pen. - And a pen. - And, like, some incense and, like, a monk, a Buddhist tree. A Buddhist tree, and the way out is through. - The only way through is through. - And it's probably not on TV. So, thinking about him, thinking about y'all, neighborhood wall, is affirmations in the morning. Go ahead and get you a girl who's gonna be like, "Good morning, we're doing 20 minutes. "Your subconscious is everything." And neighborhood watch is just feeling better day by day. - Amen. - Neighborhood watch is barbell's chocolate milk, and-- - Like I'm literally about to try when you talk about it so much. - It's so funny. - But what do you do if you don't work out it just sits in your body? - No, everyone needs protein. For, it's in, it keeps your mouth A. That's how you build muscles. That's how you sustain your muscles. - Yeah, but I don't build them. It's my problem. - It's still good to for sustaining your muscles. It's good for like nutrition. - Okay, I'm gonna try one. - I mean, it's just, protein's just good for you. - You still need protein, it's really important. - Right, I have enough protein. - Okay. - Okay, my neighborhood watch is traders and Skibbie, Ohio, Riz, love is blind. - Let me my head itch. - Well, we'll be watching love is blind with y'all. - Yeah, probably. - Hell yeah. - We'll let y'all know what the vibe is. - He's got to. - We do got to. - Because Ohio, first off, if you live in Ohio, shout the fuck out. Second, I guess, they are running their shit like-- - Well, there's a reason. - They have sociologists in the casting department. - Oh, I mean, oh, I'm curious about the stats on Ohio because there should, they released 12 episodes. All 12, there's 12 episodes out of the Ohio, love is blind season. - All right, well, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it amongst the team and figure out how we want to do this. - Because the 12 are out. - Hang on, look at that. - Bye guys. (laughing) (upbeat music) (laughing)