The Best Dive Bars! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Holy moly, New York City and the surrounding areas, RU Garbage and Friends is back. We're going to be down there at the Comedy Cellar May 18th and June 15th. You got two chances to see us, so come on out. Yeah, tickets available at rugarbage.com. We got some of our favorite guests coming to play AYG with the crowd. It's a small venue, so get your tickets before they sell out. We'll see you there. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. They're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in the new edition. She says she's done with Chinese food. Okay. That's it? That's what she hit me with. That's a political stance. I said, yeah, I said, you do you. I was like, does this got to do with anything? She's like, no, I'm just not eating it. Okay. My ghost is coming at you from across the tables. We call it a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies, just the way we like it. Give it up for my best pal in the world. Kevin, James, Ryan. Hey, what up, gang? Shout out to you. That's pretty good. How about that? I like it. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. You go over there, you get all that bonus content. And not to mention the boys are on the road, baby. Get your tickets. We got L.A. coming up this week. We got L.A. tickets. They may not be available. I don't know. You snooze. You lose. You lose, maybe. We got Portland, Maine. We got Atlantic City. We got Cleveland. We got Pittsburgh. We got, I think that might be it. Whatever. All tickets available at regarbage.com. I'm excited about that whole stretch right there. A lot of my favorite places. Yeah. Except for one. La La Land. Listen, if you're out there in L.A., I'm going to say we really need you out there, and I'll tell you why. Because the bug man needs backup out in L.A. I need you out there. He don't want you out there. He needs you out there, gang. The bug man back in L.A. God damn it. I always wanted to love L.A., and I love L.A. It don't love you, though. It doesn't. It's a dirty bitch. It tries to hurt me. Not tries. Oh, yeah. Get you good. Get me good. Hey, you're right in the chops. Beautiful place. Nice restaurants. Beautiful, talented people. I love the scenery. I love the weather. I'm an L.A. guy. No, you ain't. No, you ain't. That place chewed you up, spit you out. Twice. Turned you out. I saw you hooking down there on Sunset. Fuck, it really did turn me off. It turned you out. You went up to L.A. It kind of turns me on a little. Oh, yeah. Go back. Yeah. Dirty little bitch, aren't I? He landed L.A. Ramone picks me up at the airport. I'll see you later. What the fuck? I'm carrying all the bags. Like a pimp gets thrown in the back. Yeah. Yeah. L.A.'s going to be fun, man. It'll be good. We're about to be back out there. La la land. No one leaves. Damn it. Hotel California. Man. Yeah, that is really you, dude. We've been out there like five. Are you done? Are you done, Henley? No. No. Yeah, it's far from it. I'm more of a Glenn Frey man. You're Don Henley. Playing the drums and singing. He's got a voice of a generation. Get out of here. You got to be ultra talented to pull that off. Get somebody else to play the goddamn drums and get up there and sing. I used to hate when Philip Collins did that shit. He pulled it off. Hey, tell me Don Henley didn't pull it. I mean, your head is so far up your ass. Imagine that statement. Yeah, Don Henley has never pulled it off. He didn't really do it for me. Oh, he didn't do it for you? Seven million records. Today we're talking about dive bars. Something near and dear to our hearts. I've never been to one. Oh. Tell that to the frolic room out there in La La Land. Which was, I think the last time me and you were posted up proper as a dive of dives. But I was searching for a dive bar a few nights ago. Me and our good pal Dr. Rubinoff had some bopping around the city doing some spots. In New York City. In New York City. New York City, New York. Really? And I meet up with him. It's probably finish up around 11.15. Oh, it's a dive bar hour. Oh, 11.15 Saturday night. Got some spots under about a couple of bucks burning a hole in my pocket looking to take the edge off. You're going to lay some money on a bar. I'm in the East Village. Uh-huh. Prime dive locale. That's where you want to go. Tell you that right now. Yes and no, though. It's changed a lot. Right, because one of those bars over there on 2nd Ave got cool, I guess. The library or whatever it is? No, libraries are. That was a decent dive. A little trendy, a little cool guy dive, but a solid dive. What do you mean exactly? Place called Cooper's. Cooper's? Yeah, it's on 2nd. It's like a bar. On 2nd and 5th? Yeah. That place got cool. Yeah. Right? And now there's a line. I mean, you probably know with your young cool kids. I've been fucked up in there. Yeah, it stinks. I don't think so. Yeah, it's whatever. Nothing here nor there. It just recently got pretty hot. Because I've been walking between New York Comic Clubs on 24th and 4th right down 2nd Avenue for years, and I've never seen a line. There was a line of about 100 people to get in. A line for Cooper? To get in that joint. Wait, this must have just happened. I feel like. It's like a popular kind of Saturday brunch kind of hanging out all day drinking. It must have recently got cool. Like, cool to the point where I've never seen a line. These fucking kids. These kids. You know what I mean? I can't stand that. What do you want? They go in. It's, you know, whatever. That all aside, all the dives around there now have gotten infiltrated and are packed with these people that can't get in or they, we're going to go to wherever. And then, you know, you know how like the cellar has all like those, the comedy stuff that pops up around it. Yeah. It's all filled with the run over from the cellar. Similar to this. So we went to like four different of our dives and they were all just piled. And then with fucking new guy, Luke's in there, they're Sperry's and they're fucking at the two Oh six version of a, yeah, we were trying. I mean, we weren't, obviously we don't want to go to Cooper's, but all of our normal haunts, the fish bar, which is like, I think it's called, I don't need, that's the good thing about a dive, especially in New York. You're just like, Oh, I know it's midway up the block. I've walked by it a bunch. You can just, you know, there's no signage. There's no, you pop in, you pop out. That shade bar is sometimes tough to get into too. Very much so. But that's not a dive. That's a, that's a cleats. Of course. For a guy like me, it's a classy. When I think dive, I think places that you like to go to get all fucked up to a degree. It's Gallagher's. Sure. Which I bumped in. I was in, I was in central park. Pumped into me? No. What? I didn't say hi. What? Jerry. Uh, I was walking. Have you ever done that by the way? What? You ever walked by, see me anywhere and didn't say anything? I bet you have. I'd respect it. Oh, that's crazy. I'm wearing a cape. Um, no, but I was in central park this weekend and, uh, I was, uh, I was pushing the baby trying to get him to sleep. He likes to be movies and nap time. And this, I'm walking by and this is a young couple kid and he's like, holy shit, Kippy. I'm like, what's up, man? Like, I'm trying to be like, fuck it. Dude, the baby's eyes are like closed. Nodding. I was like, huge fan. Can I get a picture? I'm like, yeah, what's up, dude? I don't, thanks for the support. You know, like trying to, I don't want to tell him to. Um, kid younger, look at you. Not, I mean, look at me. Can we go to Cooper's? Can you get me a table of Cooper's with new guy Luke? Um, he, uh, and then as he's taking, he's all jazzy, he's taking a picture. There's a girl goes, who is this? And I was like, cool. All right. Right back to reality. And she's like, uh, he's like, this is Kippy, Kevin, James Ryan. And she's like, I don't know. She's like, what the fuck? He's like, from all your garbage. She's like, oh, we're going to Gallagher's tonight. I was like, oh, she said, oh, she got it. Okay. We're in town. Nice. Visiting or so. Nice. But thank God. Yeah. That would have ruined everything. Needed a win. Fucking embarrassed me in front of my son. Ew. Who are you? You look down, the baby's awake and he's just shaking his head. It's like, this guy stinks. Um, that's good. But it got me thinking as we were, we were going to dive to dive and, you know, some were too crowded, too loud, just whatever. It was a Saturday, Saturday night, Saturday night. Uh huh. Now, are you doing one at least? No. We're not even, some of them are just like, you're like, I'm not fighting that. It's imagine if you, the normal spots that we would go, you open the door or C3, it's just packed. And you're like, that's not what a dive, a dive should be. Everybody's at the, gets a seat or half the group you're with gets a seat. And it's a very, should be somewhat empty. It should. That was, of course, that's what I'm saying. There should be like, it shouldn't be wall to wall. And the great thing about a New York city dive is that like the transient, you get people that are coming. One for before dinner, one for after dinner. You got the guy who's posted up in the corner. You got a group of friends. It's like very, half the people are posted the fuck up. The other half are cycling in and out type thing. So you, you, you balked at a couple of places. Oh, most of them. It's funny. It sucks. And then you did that to me. That was, that was a realization moment for me. We did that like, what, two Thursdays ago when we did, when we did the cellar show and you went out for drinks afterwards, we went to like, I don't know, I don't know. Like four places and didn't. That was me, you and Ari. Yeah. Yeah. They were, I mean, that wasn't me. That was like, we were all looking to sit down and get a table and talk. I know. I personified it with you though. Getting old. I'm getting old. Yeah, a little bit. Sure. I'm an old man. You're not the young gunslinger you used to be. Kevin, I know would have walked in there. Oh, he's got 20. I can borrow. What stinks in here? Yeah. Uh, but yeah, that, I mean, we were looking for a table or whatever, but that, that's, uh, that was a bit of the impetus of, uh, Um, you know, the, the idea. Of what makes a good bar. We wanted to hear from the Patreon homies stories of dive bars, what they like in a dive bar, the specials. And I got to be honest with you, the homies, the homies get you thirsty a little bit. Oh, buddy, it ain't, it ain't, you ain't lying, dog. All right, let's see. Let's get into it. This one's from Patty's Equal Dealer. That's pretty good. That's not, oh, Patty's Equal Dealer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight to the plug with her. This is the Black Horse London Pub in San Francisco. Like the name. Which we were in a great dive in San Francisco. Where we watched the. There was that guy that was driving around, said he was going to come back and shoot the place or whatever. That's a dive bar. That's a dive bar. That's a dive bar. There's not some meth that driving around with bare feet in a. Yeah. People are going, what's he up to? What's he up to? That was a nice dive. That was a dive. You walk in. I like a dive. Well, that's. Kind of, not dangerous, but you go like, I'm walking in, there's regulars, they're eyeing me, they're doing the inventory on me. Sure. And you kind of, they're a little miffed that you're there. You know, if you're going to a new dive and you're like, who the fuck's this guy? Sure. They don't want you there. That's what I'm saying. They're looking at you. They're you. What? They're you looking at you. This is back to the future, though. I'm trying to have sex with my mom. They want to drink in an empty bar, too. Of course. They don't want some hot shot coming in. Sure. Is that how you pay me? But it's New York City attitude. You were there, too. Oh, yeah. Out there with the guy with no shoes on. Did I ever tell you that one time, one of the biggest faux pas me and my brother ever made, we went to like an after hours late night bar in somewhere in the city, and we had just come from dinner. And this was like a friend of a friend that told us about this place, and me and him walked in there both wearing suits. We looked like FBI agents. Like proper. FBI agents. A nice speakeasy you got here. It was after hours. Sure. Was it illegal after hours or no? Yeah. 100%. Illegal after hours. Gotcha. A lot of Irish. Gotcha. A lot of other things. You know what I'm saying? Sure. Why are you acting like you're in the FBI right now, dude? What the fuck? Look over. You got a suit on? I'm trying to get you to say something on tape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else, Kippy? We're not recording this. What else do you like, Kippy? Remember? I told you. I told you about the thing. You said the guy. Yeah. You can really blow it in a dive bar. And a dive bar is extremely unforgiving at bar faux pas. Well, that's also what we have a lot of people's submission of, like, you know. And I've done every one. I have a lot of them. A mean, hot dive bar bartender will ruin you. But, dude, there's something so damaged out of people that drink at dive bars that that is not a good thing. That's. It's like Rao's. I gotta know. It's one of the five families. It's real. Who's who? Which, can we get into Rao's? Anybody out there get us into Rao's? I get us into Rao's. You could get us into Rao's. Yes. Who you calling? I can't get us into Rao's. Put me in a spot like that. He called me lying. I know Luke can't. No, sir. That's right. No one can get us anywhere. I mean, we're like. That's crazy. Yeah. No, we're not. We're not. We're well connected if you need, like. Like, an auto glass guy, a roofer. Like, we're well connected. We, as you. I think it was you. It's like, we're fight club. Like, we wash your dishes. We do that. That's what the homies and bozos are doing. I actually. I bet. This is out there now. I bet if somebody hits us up with a Rao's. I think we tried this before. I think maybe who hears and, you know, things are going. I think we will be listening. I think there's a lot of who's who listening to the dive bar episode. I had that guy at the DMV hit me up. That's pretty powerful. I'm not saying he's not powerful. That guy can't get into Rao's. He's up in Albany. Doing the Lord's work. He gets in a joint up there. Gets in a cheesecake factory. He ate a nice table out of window. They get crowded on Thursdays. This. All right. Black Horse London Pub. Owner. The owner Ubers, because he has no car at a Costco every day. Loads up with beer. Holy shit. There's a bathtub behind the bar. Fills it with ice. Throws the beers in there. It's cash or Zell only. He plays guitar behind the bar. If he likes you, you'll get a shot of Jameson. There's a framed one-star Yelp review on the wall. Best dive around. Look at that. Wow. Dude, that's pretty sick. That's all right. That's what it. That was a lot like Old Man Hustle down in Lower East Side. That was a good dive, too. The same size. We used to do comedy shows there. I bombed there. Strippers, too, right? Didn't they show strippers there? No. I don't remember that. I mean, maybe. I don't know. I'm thinking of that place in South Philly. The Republican. Yes. Oh, man. Rough. I remember following a burlesque dancer there. God damn. If you don't think I was funny before I said it, Gann's wiggling around in front of you. You can never follow a burlesque dancer for two reasons. One, if she's super hot. One, if she's super. Yeah. Yeah. You're done. Dead in the water. Dead in the water. Yeah, that's my kind of joint, man. That's a good time. The only problem with that, I would feel, is like. I don't think you'd like the guitar player. If he was decent, I would love. Black Horse London Deli, it says, too. What are you doing? Throw out a fucking Italiano at you. I like a Black Force ham. I like. I do. My favorite thing about a dive is that it's unwelcoming from the outside. Sure. It's going, we're in here. We're drowned in some sort. Like, this isn't, you know. That's the only thing I say with the guitar player. Not anything against the guitar player. When you're in that kind of vibe, when you're in there, you want the jukebox. You want to hear. You want to hear your tunes. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you know, yeah. Especially that small, you can't really check out of that, either. You got to be like, oh, great. I'm in there, get fucked up, and go down some sad memory lane. Yeah, you don't. I know exactly. And you know what I need for that. Uh-huh. Some 70s hits. Crankin'. Little Eagles. Little Don Henley. Little Boston, little Chicago. Uh-huh. Need them all. Um, all right, let's see here. This one's from Blaine. Is it garbage to have a friend whose wake and memorial service was held at a dive bar? There was a bunch of tip jars with my dead friend's face taped to them scattered throughout the bar. That's how I want to go, dude. Yeah? Put that in the. I've always said I want a proper. I want to be at the. I want to be on the pool table at the bar. I can't. I wouldn't be able to go to that. I couldn't see you like that. Holy. Buddy, I don't want to break your bubble. I don't think you're going to see me like that. Fuck! I'm not going to get invited? Yeah, that's what I mean. I'll meet you. You might be busy that day. For eternity. You might be busy that eternity. Yeah, that would be a nice. I guess who's the cash go to? To the family? Grease the family? Yeah. I mean, I think if you're having it there, I don't think there was like a. I don't think there's a proper estate plan. I thought you meant if you did it. No. No, I don't expect you to tip my family. What the fuck do you think? Yeah, it's going to pay for the goddamn funeral. Yeah, I like that. Of course. That's all right. That cash is getting turned over real quick. See what's left over. You got to make it a 50-50. Listen, I love. I mean, check the legality of that, of running a 50-50 at the live shows, which I would love to do. I thought we tried to, and they said no. Yeah, I think there's like. It's like lottery-esque. Didn't we try to do that at a casino or something like that? No. At a casino. I thought we did. We got our own operation back. What are we, working at Binion's? What are you talking about? We got our own operation back there. That's really good. I really like a nice, shitty. And that's also just how my family mourns. It is very like, we're going to sit around and have drinks. Even like the. You came to my stepdad's. Did you or did you not? No, I wasn't able to go. I was at the church. You were at the church. You didn't come to the thing. It's like even when you're there doing like the meal or like the luncheon, everybody's just going. The closed circle's like, let's clean this out. Saddle up at a bar and fucking. Shoot them back. Shoot them back. No conversation, really. Yeah. Unless, you know. No having to conversate. Yeah. Giving the, yeah, well, you know, this and that. Like, we're done with all this. Let's get to the nitty gritty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get, yeah, yeah. All the glad hand and get out of here. Yeah, I would have to assume that that money's going straight to the family. Which I would like. Paying that tab. Yeah. Baby, the tab's probably, get me a couple days later. I know you're good for it. You would hope. You would hope. If it's part of the community, you would hope. Sure. Hey, get it to me when you got it. Richie was in here every night. If you got hair, whatever. We'll call you something like that. Take care of the guys. I can see the owner bartending. You know, he came in to do it. Yeah, I like that. Good shit. That's how you want to go, huh? What are you, surrounded by my loved ones and community? Gotcha. Doing, you know, watching everybody do what I loved most? that cheesesteak egg rolls all over your body. Like a sushi thing? Bunch of ketchup in my asshole. Kids, grab a bite off Kippy. Don't be scared. Oh, my God. I'm all, dude, I'm even, I look at you, I'm all pale and shit. Now, give me a spray tan if you fucking, if you put me out there. Okay, I got you. If I can at least, you know what I mean, do the hair, do something. Yeah, you got to get a spray tan. Yeah, you got to fucking. They don't do that enough. Why don't they do that? I don't know. They put the, they cake the makeup on it. Hit them with a spray tan. It would be sick if you, if you die without a tan and then you're, and then you're in there chilling with shades on, all tanned up. Maybe a little fucking zinc on the nose. Wait, he's back from Miami? Getting ready for hell. That's pretty good. Yeah. That's pretty good. That's not bad. That's really good. Kip, we got to tell them about Aura Frames. Oh, singing from the rooftop, Aura Frames, Aura Frames, Aura Frames. Aura Frames, you know what you got to do with Aura Frames? You got to thank her for everything. Of course, I'm talking about dear old mom. Uh-huh. Talking about your wife, mother of your child, talking about- Baby mama. Your mother-in-law, talking about every woman in your life that has bared a child. Mm-hmm. It's Mother's Day and the ultimate gift of Aura Frames. Yes. Throw it up on the counter, shuts them up all year long. Zip it. They get to see what the kids are doing, what you're doing. It's the best gift ever. Yes. Aura Frames. I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Every mother in my life has one. I've gotten from my mom. My- My mother-in-law, my sister, my wife's getting one this year. All good, doge. How you doing? All pictures of me. Hey, how you doing? Forget about the baby. El Quiparino's in town. All jokes aside, they have free unlimited storage. You can preload photos before it ships. Personalize your gift with a message. You can add a message before it arrives. A gift box is included. It shares all your photos and videos effortlessly through the top-rated app. It's named number one by Wirecutter, and you can save on the gifts mom loves by visiting AuraFrames.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $25 off their best-selling Carvermat frame with code garbage. That's Aura, A-U-R-A, Frames.com, promo code garbage. Support the channel by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. That. That. Kev, we got to tell them about Warby Parker. Shout out to Warby Parker. I used to see Warby Parker and think, like, I'm not cool enough to wear Warby Parker. I also would see Warby Parker and go, Foley's not cool enough to wear Warby Parker. Here's the thing, y'all are. You're wrong, baby. They're fashionable. They're durable. And the price is unbelievable. You know what else Warby Parker has? I'm a big glasses guy. I've been wearing glasses all my life. Problem with me is I go to the, you know, I go to the place. The place. And they just have the cheapest frames that are out of style, that I look like a bozo. I look like I'm working in Area 51 walking around. Warby Parker, you got the virtual try it on. Yeah. See what it looks like on you. Absolutely fantastic. If you're in the market for some glasses, some sunglasses, whatever you need, go over to Warby Parker. Get yourself straightened out. Do yourself some favor. What cool does it bring? Yes. Warby Parker doesn't just offer incredible prescription glasses. They have everything you need for happier eyes. That includes contacts, online eye exams, and sunglasses. And you're outside way more this time of year. So having both glasses and sunglasses actually just matters more, baby. Warby Parker has distributed over, get this, 20 million pairs of glasses to people in need through its Buy a Pair, Give a Pair program. That's give them back, dog. Give them back. That's because they care. They're good. They care. It's not all about profits. They're giving back. It's the perfect time to upgrade your glasses for spring. Buy one prescription pair and get 20% off an additional prescription pair at warbyparker.com slash garbage. At 20% off additional prescription pairs when you go to Warby, W-A-R-B-Y, parker.com slash garbage. That. Do it. All right. Let's see here. In the same rain, and this would be an honor. This is from John. My local bar has a memorial plaque on one of the stools. It was the regular. There's everyday seat. He died after he got drunk and fell off his roof. Jesus. Tough way to go out, but great way to remember a guy. Yeah. They don't do. I feel like I would love to see that more. Even for a more common, maybe not like the everyday guy, but. Yeah. We had those at Martell's when you could buy it. You could get like a plaque in front of the ball. You could like sponsor a seat. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Then did you have kind of. There was regulars up there? No. Yeah. But like if you sponsor the seat that you come in, that's your seat. Kind of. Yeah. You can't bounce a guy. If a guy sitting there though. No, you didn't bounce anybody. No, it was more like. Yeah. It was more like just having your name on the bar. Gotcha. And little, little gold lettering. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of like I always. You do the bench. Yeah. So I'm saying. Bench at the boardwalk. It's like in honor of Joe and pop pop or whatever. My family has one of those. My cousins for their mom and dad on Seattle's boardwalk. Very nice. Yeah. That's prime real estate. The house is right there too. Well, are they horse thieves or something? Did well. We're the other side. My mom goes down there all the time. Shacks up. Yeah. They let her down there for a week. They give her down there for a week. Keep on a short lease. I'm sure. Yeah. They take care of her. You know, Patty goes down. I'm just going to stay. It was that one year I got the shore house for a week. Yeah. Kind of remember that. Yeah. Mm hmm. You going down at all this summer? I don't think so. Okay. You know where to find me this summer. Just checking, dog. All right. Let's see. This one's from Delaware cousin. $10 homie in the Denver area. There was a bar we called the sewer because it always smells like shit. I hate that. But the PBRs are cheap. That's a true mark of a dirt bag. I know. Couldn't do it. You get used to it. You do get used to it. We've drank in plenty of bars that you smelled the plumbing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Smelling the plumbing and tasting the taps are bad for me. I can't. I hate it. I've done it too, too, too much for too long that I the taps. If I'm a bottle and I'll take anything out of a bottle and can at this point over a draft. However, there is the thing sometimes where you get a bottle and you taste the lid. Well, that's when we. That's where we were. Was that in the Poughkeepsie? Poughkeepsie. No, the frolic room. Oh, yeah. They were giving me. I was drinking Bud Heavies and I guess they weren't. They were like rusted. Sometimes those caps. So, like, if they're underwater or so, I didn't notice that those were screamers. The cap was run and you're just like you taste and it was somewhere. I was like, I can't. I don't know what was there. We were pretty happy with those beers. Drinking nickels. Yeah, I think at one point I did switch over, though. Hmm. But, yeah, that happens sometimes. You get that. You get it. You get it. You get an old bottle. It's been sitting there since, like, the fucking Clinton administration. Yeah. So, it happens when the ice turns to water. Mm-hmm. Start floating. Oh. Just think about how many times that happens at a fucking bad bar. Especially if you go, like, a little obscure. Dude, the shit from last night. In the morning, you get the shit from last night. Bad news. Oh, tough. They have PBR bottles with playing card icons like the Ace of Spade and the Jack of Clubs under the cap. Whoa. Dude, PBR bottles suck. I didn't even know that. They taste like the fucking, they taste more like the bottle. Really? And lid than anything I've ever had. I've never seen that. Yeah, they're not great. I want to say they have them at a great dive bar, the Sly Fox. I want to say they have them. It's a good name. Which is that Ukrainian, it's right next to, you know where that little Ukraine is on 2nd Avenue? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, you go in there. I've eaten at the little Ukraine. Pretty good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is like their. It's like $2 nickel PBR. It's something crazy. You go in late night. They give you clear solo plastic cups, plastic solo cups. That's how you know a beer's not going to stay cold, when it's handed to you in a clear plastic cup. You want that in a coffee cup or a thermos? And the bathroom isn't in the bar. I hate that. You have to go into like this back annex that connects to the whole building, then go down. You go down a hall. It's like an office building. I hate an annex. It's not good. Never an annex. Never. But PBR bottles with playing card icons like the Ace of Spades and Jack of Clubs under the cap. If you guess the right card, you get the beer for free. Whoa. That's what we're talking about. That's a deal. That keeps you there. How do you make money? What? He goes, the thing is, if you stick around and drink enough of them, it'll give you a few clues so you eventually get the freebie. That's pretty good. That's all right. They'll be like. This is one of what they know what they're giving you, I guess. Also, one time we saw a couple of their mid 50s, 50s, 60s making out at the bar drunk at 430 on a Thursday night. There you go. That's love right there, buddy. That's love. It's like two cockroaches going at it. Sure. That's all right. Yeah. I'd love them. I want to say the Copa Banana out there on like 40th and Walnut or something like that. I don't know if it's still around. There was a couple of Copas in Philly. Remember that? Yeah. There was the Copa Cabana. I thought you were talking about the Copa Cabana, the song you were singing. No, no. This was called the Copa Banana. Okay. The Copa Banana. What do you got, Luke? 4,000 Spruce Street? That's, yeah. 4,000? Yeah. That'd be 40th and Spruce. All right. 4,000. I think, right? Yeah. It'd be 40th and Spruce. Because 400 would be 4th and Spruce. Yeah. This one's Copa Banana University City. Yes. Right. And they would do dollar lion's heads. and the lion's heads had the mammograms? Pictograms. They had the puzzles. It'd be like a picture of a pyramid and an eyeball. On the cap? On the cap. And you would open it. I think there was a thing, if you guessed it, you got something. You got something. I remember that. You know where Lion's Head is brewed? Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Wilkes-Barre. Yeah. Right. Are they still banging? Lion's Head? I thought they were owned by Stegmaier or Yingling or something like that. Stegmaier? Stegmaier. I don't know what that is. You ever heard of Stegmaier beer? It's old beer in Wilkes-Barre. What the fuck? Old beer in Wilkes-Barre, Stegmaier. Still banging. Still banging, Lion's Head. Yeah, Wilkes-Barre. Wilkes-Barre. Wilkes-Barre. Well, there you go. Take that, Luke. A college favorite beer. Is it? It is. Yeah. Yeah. Very budget friendly. It was nine bucks for a 24 pack. Cans. Bottles. What? They were only doing bottles. They weren't doing cans. Oh, that's right. It's a bottling facility. Now it's $15.79. There you go. That's not that bad, because that was fucking. That was done 20, almost 20 years ago. 18 years ago. Brewed and bottled in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania? Not a bit. They outsourced this to India or something? Yeah. What? I mean, the brewery's in Wilkes-Barre, so I assume they're doing it all in-house. Sick. They don't have money to be shipping that around. That's a fucking good operation. It's all right. It's no garage beers, but it'll do. Shout out to garage beers. Shout out to them. Which I want to get my hands on some of them. They sent a. I just. That's why they released some of the bottles, but like a big like. Ooh, really? Like a quart bottle. No shit. Imagine like a big red stripe bottle. Yeah. Something like that. My dad was big on the quarts. The quart. Quart of beer. He would bring. Yeah, every once in a while. He wouldn't drink that much at the house, but he would bring home like two random quarts. Like a quart of Coors Light and like a quart of, I don't know. They stopped doing it when I was like, we didn't see them really. Really? Yeah, no. Why? I mean, I'm not saying they stopped completely. They just. It became. The smaller bottle. Because I remember my dad would always be like, yeah, I'd be like 10 or 12 or whatever. Somebody would be like, yeah, you and your friend go get a couple quarts of beer. I'm like, what the fuck? Quart of beer? What the fuck are you talking about, old man? I'm talking. We do canes. We do pounders. And we do a double deuce. I think they stopped. They became too menacing. They're just. You're looking at you like, yeah, it's going to be bad news at some point tonight. But they still did 40s. Sure. Hey. Come on. Here's what it is. I haven't. Got a 40 in a minute. Maybe I'll start doing 40s again. I do. Imagine me walking out on stage with a 40. I put it on the stool. Chugging that thing. Sips out of it. That's all right. Yeah. A 40 of St. Ives will do the trick. I can tell you that. Yeah. Put you to sleep. Yeah. We used to do hurricanes at the corner store in North Philly at Temple. We're 250. So we five bucks. Two fifths. And we'd each do. One, maybe two if you were like, and then that was the pregame. Damn. You go out. You're already out with two hurricanes. I mean, that's a category five right there. Look out. Call Luke Combs. Did you ever do the sidewalk slammer? About to do one of you. New age. Stupid questions. You know me a long time. You ever think I walk around. I'll DT sidewalk slammers. It's a custom thing. And a kamikaze shot. No. What is it? OG for loco. You drink half the 40 and then you pour half the four local. We were too old for that. Yeah. God, I want to beat you up so bad right now. You don't like cool stuff, man. Exactly. Kind of true. That's a two forties tape to your hands. That's Edward 40 walking around Penn State like a goddamn asshole. That's a goddamn state. That's you got to try it. At least one. Every alcoholic in his early in his career needs to try it. Specifically college. Me and my boy got locked in his dorm room. It was the I told you it was the doorknob. Not like a and we couldn't. But we were. But we both taped it. We both taped it. We both taped it. We both taped it. We both taped ourselves up. How did you both get them on each other? He did it. I don't remember. Maybe someone else did it and then left. He taped you first and then did himself? I guess. Or maybe his roommate did it, but then his roommate bounced. I think that his roommate. Did you guys just sit there and get fucked up? Yeah. His roommate, Noof. He's dead now. No, Noof's. I think so a lot. No, my boy, he died. The guy? Yeah. Whoa. Of? I mean. Category five. I'm with you. I'm with you. I mean, you know, protect the innocent. God, they only go a couple of ways around this, huh? Yeah, it's usually south. I bumped into a friend of, you know, who I, who has known in a while, I haven't talked to in a while, and she was like, oh, how's, like, you know, all your friends, I know her college, she's like, oh, how are all your friends, so and so and so and so, and I'm like, whew, a couple of fucking swings and misses. I mean, everybody's doing all right. Mm-hmm. But there's also, like. Like, there's everybody's doing okay, and then there's also, like, below the curve. Wait, really? With your squad now? Is it the squad I know? Yeah, but still not. I mean. Huh. I wouldn't know the guys that aren't doing great. Yeah, you didn't meet the guys that are no longer with us are not doing great, or maybe you have, and I'm, I don't know. Maybe. I'm out with them. Maybe you've been banging, running with the wrong crowd. I don't know. I'm out with them. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah, there's. Yeah. It's. But it made me realize it. I'm just glad there wasn't a house fully, though. There was. There was? Yeah. Fuck. Let's lay off of those for a little while. Okay? I mean, I'm not telling, you know, whatever. Say you haven't seen me. I don't know. He shows up, and he leaves. That's the one everybody starts saying. Uh-huh. All right. This is a great name. This is from Deep Fried Foley. What a name. Love that. Dude, this. Deep Fried Foley. That's a deep fried hot dog with onions. Mustard and chili sauce. Just make that up. Yeah, right there. That's a deep fried Foley. There's a place out in Jersey that does deep fried dogs. You know what? We've kind of had this idea to do a pop-up. We'll do Tootie's Dogs one weekend, and we can rent a space, put a hot dog cart in there, or whatever. We did talk about doing that. And we should just do it. We have to get a food handler's license? We'll use gloves. I don't be able to be comfortable eating the food. Yeah. So I'm going to make the chili sauce. All right, we're out. What? I told you I was doing that from Jump Street. Chili sauce. Now with more fingernails. No. See, don't start saying that. You're just bad press. You're just closed down. Any press is good press. I'll make it. My dad's recipe. I'll do a deep fried Foley. Okay. You have a deep fryer? I don't think so. I'll have to check in the back, but I'm not sure. Now, where's the storeroom at? All right, deep fried Foley. What a name. This name for a home run. No, for a die bar. Snapper McGee's. Whoa. See if you can pull up Snapper McGee's in Kingston. I would assume that would be Kingston, New York. I don't know that. Kingston, PA? I think there's probably a lot of Kingston. Came up quick. Snapper McGee's? Yeah. New York or PA? New York. Yeah, Kingston, New York. Do live music? Snapper McGee's, Kingston, New York. Good booze is their name. Is there? I am. That's all right. Yeah. You want low outside light. Mm-hmm. Decent neon signs. Mm-hmm. Stickiness of the floor. Sure. You want some of that stuff. You want bad outside lighting, but when you walk in, you want it to pop a little. Yeah. You also want, if you're going during the day, my favorite about eight seconds is adjusting from the really bright outside to the really dark inside. If you're the cold. Yeah, you might get hit with a two-by phone. You find out who's eyeballing you. The thing, the experience. I think about that is when we got fucked up at the Pirates Bar in L.A. Yeah. I mean, there was no natural light in that place. And that was so hot outside. We were so, like, looking forward to doing that. It was the first time we did it, walked into that freezing cold, dark space. And the guy was a fan. The guy's like, holy shit, what the hell? We were the only two people in the bar. It was a pirate-themed bar. The only two people in there. We got fucking shellacked. Fucked up. Yeah. What are you guys doing? You just getting drunk? We're like, yeah, that's what we're doing. I mean, more pirate. You guys got big meetings out here, huh? Uh-huh. More pirate fries, please. Yeah. Just proper fucked up. Mm-hmm. Damn, that was fun. Snapper McGee's in Kingston does a Thanksgiving shot on Thanksgiving Day. Shot a wild turkey mixed with cranberry juice and gravy from a jar. It's actually pretty good. Ugh. I think I might be with that. You had me for a second. I don't know. You don't, I mean, you don't think gravy's a good, I mean, essentially, it's a chaser. I guess it probably does. It's a gravy back. Look at it that way. So it takes, it's got to take the edge off. You know why I think it would work or why I'm sure it works is as odd as it is, the cranberry and gravy will be familiar to you as it goes down the gutter. Wow. That's pretty good. That's not bad. Yeah. Huh. Huh. I wouldn't mind trying one of those. I need a good dive to make my own. I got shade, which is. It's not a dive, but it's ripe. It's a quiet enough. I think in New York, you're in trouble. Yeah. New York. New York has great dives, but it's, they're tough. There's none by me. They're cool now. Yeah. They're just, it's cool. It's cool for that sort of, that's what happened. It's cool for young kids to like young rich kids to like slum it. Remember we used Niagara. They used to. I love you, buddy. They used to consider Niagara a dive. Like the rich kids would be like, yeah, it was Niagara. Wasn't a dive bar. What? Niagara was a bar. You think so? Yeah. Yeah. Niagara was in a dive. Huh. The walls of Niagara are worth like $400,000. That's by accident. That's because some guy came in and got fucked up and drew on him. It doesn't matter. He's a famous artist. That's a dive ball. No, Saturday night there would be, Saturday night there was a bouncer, a line, and fucking like dudes in like pea coats and button-ups there. Like that's what it mainly turned into. I guess you're right. It got, they just got, it became cool for guys like Luke. Luke's getting trashed in this one. I'm sorry. But it became, it became cool for them. Taking a lot of heat for no reason. I won in 2022. That was exactly the vibe. Yeah, and that's him going like, oh, we're going to Niagara. It's real. It's not pretension. We're going to pop in at beers. Meanwhile, me and you were like, this is the nicest place I ever been. Trying to steal the wall. Cover me. Yeah, that was. Okay. They had a DJ when we went there. Yeah, there's no DJ at dive bars. Better not be. I'm walking. Bad karaoke. Kev, we got time about Blue Chew. Blue Chew. Gang, I know we got a lot of guys out there. You start getting older. You put on a couple of pounds. Things start slowing down a little bit. Lose your mojo a little bit. You need a little help in the bedroom. God knows I am one of them. Here's the good news. That's where Blue Chew comes in. Yes. They have their new arousal boosting formula, Blue Chew Gold, daddy-o. Let's go. It's helping millions of men have better sex in 2026, while most ED meds, only focus on blood flow. Blue Chew goes further by combining two ingredients for blood flow, two ingredients for mental arousal and connection, so you're not just physically ready. You're actually in the mood. This type of innovation is why Blue Chew Gold is the number one brand in erectile function. Function, dog. Don't let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at bluechew.com. And we've got a special deal for AYG listeners. Right now, when you buy two months of Blue Chew Gold, you get to third for free with promo code garbage. How you doing? How you doing? That's a month full of fun, if you catch my drift. That's promo code garbage. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. Yes, we do. Kev, we got to tell them about Quince. Shout out to Quince, dog. Now, do you know about Quince? Oh, I know about Quince. Because let me tell you folks something. As I'm in this stage of my weight loss journey, you know I'm down about 80 pounds right now. I want something to feel a little bit better. I want to feel a little bit more comfortable. I want to feel a little bit better. And I want a little bit of fun. I want to feel a little bit of high quality. That's where Quince comes in. Boost that confidence a little. Boost your confidence. Get over there and get on Quince and see what's going on. Yes, baby. The fabrics are elevated. The fits are clean. And everything works without you having to overthink it. I got to be honest with you. They were nice enough to send us a promo code. I popped it in. I got a pair of pants. I frigging loved them so much. I went back and bought like four of the same pairs of pants. And you see me in a gray pair of, they're like jeans, light jeans, slacks, trousers. Whatever. I wear them on stage. I wear them on the pod. I wear them to work. I do it all. They're Quince, baby. Quince through and through. How you frigging doing? Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you would find at similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories. It cuts out the middlemen. That's where you get the savings. So you're getting premium materials without the markup. The fits are relaxed, comfortable, but still polished enough to wear pretty much anywhere. I wore them on Easter. People were complimenting me. Oh, look at that. I can wear them out drinking all night at a dive. I can wear them to Easter. How you doing? A pair of holy pants. Refresh your every day with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com slash garbage for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada as well. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash garbage for free shipping. 365 day returns. quince.com slash garbage. Note. Let me see this. Is the number one tavern a dive bar? In Wildwood? No. In Cambridge. Yeah, in Wildwood. Shout out to the number one. Yes, I would say for if that was anywhere else. Yeah, but it's like it's also a little kitschy because it's down the shore. If that was anywhere else. I mean, yeah, but there's not that many. There is a good amount of bars in Wildwood, obviously, but it's like it is limited. I got you. So you're like they can kind of just stay. It's kitschy at this point. If it was anywhere else. I mean. If it was anywhere else, it would be closed. Good point. Kidding me? Shout out to it. I mean, they got all the. They have their own special drink with dirt bag lore. No one knows the ingredients. The owner, who I think recently passed, would show up every day and make it in vats by himself. Mark Tully. Shout out Mark Tully. And then there's a golden tea. Sure. Screaming cold air conditioning. Screaming. Screaming cold. The back is crazy. Bad bathroom. Bad bathrooms. Bad, bad barstool. Bad cushioned barstools. Around the tables in the back. Yes. Brutal. Brutal. Staff's got a bit of a toot to them. Love it. In a lovely, endearing. Tables get covered in the Tully nut sauce. In the Tully nut sauce. Cash only. Cash on the table. Cash on the. Wet cash on the table. Kind of. That's a dive. I love it. But it is. I don't want to paint that a dive because it is kitschy and fun. It's still. It's got a lot of heart to it. It's not a dark dive. It's a fun. No one's really in there. They're just running from their, you know. There's not just like some old timer like. It's groups of people having fun. It's not you though. You like a dark dive, don't you? I like a dark. You like a dark dive in the middle of the day. Uh-huh. I like it. A frolic room. Put on a little. The international bar. Put on a little Seeger and think about where it all went wrong. Sure. This is for. So this is from Steven. I actually made a list of one night while attending our local dive bar of what makes a good dive. Mm-hmm. Cold, cold air. He has a cold, cold air conditioning. Ice cold beer. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Dark atmosphere. You, this is, you want to see the glow from outside when the doors open. Oh, shit. Fuck. It's only two o'clock out there. They're winking. Oh, man. That sun comes in. Good characters at the bar. You know, uh, crowd, crowd don't only want to be the ones. I don't know what the fuck that means. Uh, this guy's, I think this guy's at the corner of the bar right now. That's awesome. Smoking, good jukebox. Mm-hmm. Bar food. Sure. I, I, a lot of good dives don't offer food, though. Mm-hmm. A lot of my favorite dives are kitchen-less. Mm-hmm. There's usually one, maybe two people working there total. Mm-hmm. It's some, some, you know, some broad that'll throat chop you if she needs to. She's behind the bar by herself. You know, New York, sometimes there'll be a bouncer out front just because it's fucking, Sure. To keep some vagrants out or whatever, you know. Try a hot, a boiled hot dog. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I don't want to provide the burps from the hot dog. I mean, I crush hot dogs. I crush it, these. Bad. Bad. Um, pool table or darts. Okay. Off the beaten path so it can't be easily found. Okay. Safe, i.e. not known for gangs or murders. What the fuck? Unless you know the gang. That's really funny. What the fuck? But that's true. You want it, like I said, you want it a little edgy. Scary. Not scary, but like you don't want gangs or like, you know. But you want like, ah, man, they're, you know, there's a tension in here a little bit. Couple of off characters. Yeah. They're not stoked I'm here. That's Jimmy. Don't sit in Jimmy's seat. Don't fight, you know, that kind of thing. I like that. I had that at that, there's an Irish bar on the corner of Crescent and something else in Queens. And I had that one night. Where I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. Like, I could tell they didn't want us in there. Mm-hmm. And they were cool. Bartender was cool. But like, a couple guys went out to have a cigarette and like, they stopped and talked to us for a second. Just yes. I didn't like it. Yeah. I didn't like it at all. Hey, man, big fan. Love the show. No. No. No. No. Of course. And then they muttered something under their breath as they stepped outside. And I was with my wife at the time and she's like, fucking, like, thought it was great. And I was like, finish that. We're getting the fuck out of here. Didn't get it at all. Well, that, you don't, I also don't think. Finish your drink, you dumb broad. They're going to kill us. Quick, grab the money on the table and run. I don't think, you know, most women in my life also aren't hanging out or spending a lot, as much time as I have at a dive bar. No. To know, to read the signs on the wall of. To read the room. This is not going. Yeah. This is not, you know, the tides have turned a little bit. A lot of that you could tell in the ordering. I'll do that. To the. Oh. What the fuck up? Stick and move. Which I do have to give to our crew. I'll show up a beer. When, yeah, when we all walk in somewhere and we all know, you know, take that place in San Francisco, real dive that we went to. I would love to see if you can find the name of that. It was across from Cobbs, down probably two blocks across the street. It's the place I was all dusted up in. Towards, yeah, towards the water. I mean, you're dusted up in a couple of places. No, the place I was really high. Stoned. Yeah. Yeah. That was probably, yeah, there was a couple of places that that was the case. There was an Italian joint. It's like an Italian cafe. All right. It's not real. I mean, I'm saying we were at a multiple places that night is what I'm saying. So it's tough to pinpoint when you got really stoned. You got so serious. That was like off the air voice. What? Yeah, you got fucked up. Yeah, it was pretty fucked up. I like that. But we walked in and everybody read the room. Yeah. I think it was me, you, Colin, Luke. Sure. That was probably it maybe. And, uh. I think it's Tommy instead of me. I didn't roll with you guys there. But you go, I'll turn around. Because I tend to lead the charge on that one. I'm first man named Scalpins. I got to protect my guys. You're outside fucking, you're as high as Mars right now. I was trying to figure out the situation. I was trying to solve the situation between the guy and the guy in the car. That's the problem. I was trying to work that out. So is she, I'm inside. You're yelling at me to come inside. Yeah, shit goes down. I got me for. I'm solving cases out in San Fran. I'm bringing people together. You're like Ruffalo and fucking. What was his name? What? I was in Ruffalo. What's a Zodiac? Yeah. Yeah. He was all right in that. That's about it. Okay. Like the old Ruffalo. But you go, what do I'll go? I'll turn around and go, what are you guys getting? And the crew usually goes, whatever. Like, we can tell this isn't. What do you have on tap? Do you have any? Two sec. Oh, it's a fucking, I'm getting three, four cans of whatever. I'm usually pretty good about asking for the, for not asking about something they don't have. I make eye contact with something that they do have. And I say that I never just order something, especially in places like that. Yeah. We don't have Coors Light. We don't have this. I'll literally, if I don't, a lot of most shitty bars. We'll have the run of dusty cans and bottles up on the shelf somewhere. So you can go out like, you know, whatever. And if they don't have that, I'll go, what do you have in a can? I'll go, what do you have in a can? And they'll go, bop, bop. And I said, whatever this, whatever the first one I'll like is, I stop them there. I'll give you that. You are very good in those situations. I've never really seen anything. You're flawless. I would say in dive bar situations. I was bored of the doctors, but I'm going to trash it. No, we're, you know, we're, we're talking about this, what we like, all that kind of stuff, how to operate in them. I want truth to be known for the bozos and the homies out there. I have had my fair share of. Fuck ups in dive bars. Oh, pause that. Unfortunately last the evening and tend to get worse. Once a bartender in those doesn't like your dad, you, you might as well move. You will continue. You will continue to make a fool of yourself throughout the evening. I remember the dive bar we were in, uh, in like Nashville or something like that, where the kid, when I was ordering the doubles and he's like, or I was a real honky tonk bar. We were at. Yes. But I kept saying, I wanted a margarita, but I didn't want a lot of margarita mix. You get too, you, you get too specific in those places. He's like, do you want a double? I'm like, no, you don't have to double the alcohol, just less than the thing. But he didn't get that. He's like, you want to pay for a double paper, a double, which you say that to me, I freak out. And this is, I think everybody in the team, the whole beef with you and ordering. It's a lot of words. It's too many words. Too much to say. It's too much. How about a little bit of that? A little bit of this, extra of that. You can just go, I'll do a double margarita. Cause at a lot of dive bars, it's what you're getting. It's not what you want. It's yeah. They're not mixologists. No. The guy's fucking, you know. I got some orange juice back here. But that, that's the, that's the issue. You throw in some music to that and there's a, you know. What? Your city slicking vibes too. I know. You're in there with your hair slicked back. I'm walking there. Taking business calls. I sometimes, I sometimes walk in with a bad vibe and I don't even realize it. Usually I'm pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. What do you got? Do you find them joint? I think I got like three options. Oh my God. Sweeties, international sports bar. It might've been international sports bar. Let me see. Let me see if I can. Dollar bills hanging from the ceiling. No. Oh, you weren't there. So you don't know. I apologize. I apologize. I said, I sent a boy to do a man's job. Hey, Dan. Hey, you frigging man. Tell you the hot vegan place out there. Tell you a place to get a Cupertino or whatever the fuck it is. What's a Cupertino? Puppuccino. Puppuccino? What, for the dogs? Yeah. Oh, I'd love that. Well, no. What's a Cupertino? What do you like? You know, Cupertino's where? Espresso martinis. Espresso martinis? What's the fucking seafood soup you get? Oh, cioppino. Cioppino. All right. I'm not that far off. Hey. Way off. All right. I was thinking Italian coffee drinks, not Italian mixed seafood dishes with a red sauce. Very good. Me and Diesel had one out there in San Fran. Yeah. The International Sports Bar, which I don't think there was a TV on in the joint. If I'm being a hundred. That's for tax purposes. If I'm being a hundred P, great dive bar, though. Yeah. Two pool tables, tight little corner spot on the angle. Yeah. On one of those angle streets. You enter from like the snub node, like the flat end of the street. The flat iron side of it. Great, great, great bar to walk outside and have a heater. Oh, all glass windows the whole way around. Seem coming. Mm-hmm. You got to in here. Seem coming at you. I mean, it was dollar bills hanging from the ceiling. There's no frills. Game day spot with full bar and pool tables. No delivery, no takeout. Mm-hmm. That's all right. We were looking over our shoulder in there a little bit. Oh, yeah. I mean, that was the last place I really walked in where I felt, oof. There was a lot of eyes when I walked in. We did walk in and out. It was kind of a kerfuffle of a time, too. Is that one of the last bars we walked into together in that zone and getting fucked up? Yeah, because that was the last L.A. trip. That ended in the L.A. trip. L.A., we need you. Wait, was that? Yes. That was the beginning of the L.A. trip. Fuck. Whoa. Man. Talk about foreshadowing. Beginning of the end. Mm-hmm. Or the beginning. This review is toilets available for customers only. Okay. Yikes. That's them? No, that was them. That's from the review. That's awesome. Don't go in there and try to take a dump. They'll yell at you. That's my kind of place. Speaking of, I would also argue dive bars, like you said, it's like you get on the bad track. It's tough to get out with the bartenders or staff or whatever. You're fucked. Which, as I was reading these submissions, it made me think it's got to be really the only kind of establishment. It's the only kind of establishment this day and age that still has a band. It's easy to get banned from a dive bar because it's such a tight-knit community. Or put in the penalty box for a couple of months. You can't do that at the Smith or some place that has a management structure. What? You can't get banned from a place like that. You go to the Smith and they're like, yeah, no, the customer's always right. That's how you get sued. Yeah, bartender loses his job. He goes, this guy's giving me, you know what I mean. He'll eat the. He serves some guy. The guy gets fucked up. The guy does something. Yeah, they fire the bartender at the fucking dive bar. Don't ever let me see you in here again. Two months. Take your time. Two months. Fuck. I've seen that before. Have you ever seen anybody get banned from a place for like a limited time? I don't think so. I don't know why it tells you what happened all the time. That's an old school joint. Yeah. Take three months off. Take two months off. Clear your head a little bit. Yeah. When they come back. Go get some help. They come back. They come back fresh. Yeah. Good shave on them. Good shave on them. Nice tan. This guy Don did that. He did that for a while. He came back fresh. Crisp. Came back in the summer. He's like, you know what I do? I take hot showers in the summer. Then you get out. It's cool. Two months later, he was fucking. Fucking in the rafters. Had to send him back down to spring training. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tommy John surgery. Put him back in the minors for a minute. His wife would always call the bar. Is Don there? Nah, I haven't seen him. I know he's there. Uh-huh. And we would lie, and then she would. He lived, like, around the corner. So she would show up every once in a while. Screaming at him. It's crazy. And he was like an older, good-looking dude. Sharp, always had a tan, did well. And he'd be like the man. And then, man, when she walked in, I would. He'd just. Yeah. Shrivel. Well, that was for a very long time. My stepdad's drinking spot was, like, right. It was on, like. It was, like, a main road. Mm-hmm. So his car. You could always. You know, this is, like, pre-calling and not. But he also. Well, he wasn't a huge, you know. Responder. Yeah. Oh, really? I respect that. I mean, like, you couldn't text him. I mean, you could, especially later on, you could, but, like, growing up, he wasn't, like, an early adopter of. Oh, okay. being on the text message. Like, yeah, I'm here, just checking in, like. I was gonna say, I mean, he goes radio silent. No, not. No, you know who loves radio silent? Bugman. Yeah. Now I'm well aware. Off the air. You just get that static. Flatlining. I got nothing. I'm waiting for a beep, a meep, a sweep, something. You see the bug sign in the sky? Well, we would drive. We would. A lot of times, it would be reported based on seeing his car at the local watering hole. Mm-hmm. Like, oh, where's Joe? Well, I saw it. I was coming home from work, and I saw his car, so. He could have been at the dry cleaners. He's dusting off a little bit. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I was. I'm gonna go down the road and dust off a bit. Sure. Go down the road a piece and dust off a bit. Yeah. Which I respect. Yeah, I respect it, too. Mm-hmm. This one's just funny. This is from Wolf Tail McGee. Had to help carry a large girl from the bathroom floor to the back of a cab. Buddy had to pull her in from the other side. It was like we were loading furniture. bartender paid us and crown apple shots. Respect that. Oh, man, that poor girl. Sure, but you're also doing that small community a service, right? Like the bartender, probably one person. Again, there's not like a management chain. There's not a front of house, back of house. It's one or two people working a dive bar. And they're going, I can't. It could be a woman going, I can't load this larger girl in here. And the dive bar unites and goes, we'll help this citizen of the bar out and get her into a cab. They probably paid for the cab or something, took care of it. They were reimbursed for their community service. I think it's a great system. Right? That's like on a plane. Who's able to do the- Yeah, are you able to sit in the exit row? Like we were loading furniture. That's such a real thought. Go around and get her ankles. You got to hook it. Shit, poor lady. Man, getting pulled through the other side. Ooh, that's tough. That ain't great. This one's from Dr. John Becker. Shout out to you, doc. Whatever. Local dive bar has an active train about 30 feet behind the exit where everyone smokes slash additional parking. Saw a drunk guy try to leave and get stuck on the tracks. You don't even have to cross the tracks to leave. But this guy gets caught up. He got caught up on the tracks. Train was coming. How did he get caught up on the tracks? I thought that was something that happened in silent movies. Yeah, I don't know. Where did he get your foot caught? I know, the car. He couldn't get his car over. Why does that always happen? That's crazy. I think it's- Yeah, I don't know. That's something in the universe. There's no way at that specific time your car stalls or you can't get over. That happens way too much. I think it's prob- Listen, these aren't fucking, you know, land rovers and stuff getting stuck. These are shitty. Small cars where, like, I think the rear front wheel drive, it doesn't- You know, it's like a neon trying to- And it's like the chassis gets caught on a rock- Something. I don't think he's actually- He's probably not crossing at a proper fucking- Do you think the train operator in the back of their head kind of likes that when one gets caught on there? When it's a car, not like a tractor trailer that's going to, like, get derailed or something like that. You got to think, dude, this is nighttime. The driver don't know. The fucking train conductor don't know that. You don't think? That there's no one in the car. Oh, that's right. So they're not in jail. Yeah. They're not enjoying it. Yeah, he's not going, sick! Gary, get up here! He's going, I'm about to ruin a lot of people's lives. This is about to be the worst day of my life. Ah, fuck. Yeah. I guess if you didn't know- Because that'd be fun. Yeah, and you're just, like, fucking gravediggering it. Yeah, that would probably be a good time. That'd be fun. I thought I would have to worry about the derailing, though. I don't know. We don't do enough fun stuff with trains like that. Why don't they have, like, train, like, smash-up derbies or something like that? I think it's very dangerous. Think? Yeah, I would assume someone would have monetized it if it was- I'm saying just the engine. You don't got to have the, you know, cars behind it. But, like, why don't we do more fun stuff with train engines? I think I found a new hobby for you. Have them slam into each other or something like that. In a controlled environment. Like monster truck shows. Why don't they have, like, you know- Yeah, but they're kind of static. You put track in, idiot. Do you have anything for this? No, I mean, I can't imagine. I'm glad you could pick up steam that quick in, like, a monster truck arena. Yeah, open up the doors of the arena and you start out like that. How sick would that be? Mm-hmm. I'm with it. Right? Yeah. I'm out. For that reason, I'm out. All right, but hold on. Yeah. Local dive bar has an active train about 30 feet behind the exit where people- everyone smokes slash there's additional parking. Saw a drunk guy try to leave and get stuck on the track so you don't have to cross the tracks to leave. Train was coming, so he ripped off his license plate and ran. What? Everyone ran outside of the bar to watch the train obliterate this car. The whole place erupted in cheers. It was awesome. That's what I'm talking about. Now, yeah, listen, I- That's what I'm talking about. Listen, yeah, that's a good time. Right? Now you see it. Sure. Sure. But that is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Yeah, that's like- Calling everybody out. You can't be selling tickets to that. Hey, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Wow. Dude, to be at that bar, the calls the next morning. Gary got his car stuck. The vibe in there- Blew it the fuck up. Yeah, the vibe in there when they walked back inside. I was right there. I seen everybody's telling their version. It's like the fucking Kennedy assassination. That's awesome. That's fucking sick. There was a long time in our early 20s where we really liked getting fucked up and, you know, seeing stuff, getting fucked up for that kind of shit was a good time. Like a big event that not everybody- You know, I don't know. Just like- Remember one time we were looking at implosions of buildings. I think they were blowing up something in Jersey, and me and Pat were like, we got to get to that. That's so true. But it was too early. You'd have to, you know what I mean. I know. They do that in business hours. Yeah. I think they do that- And I didn't hold normal office hours at the time. I think they tend to do that because they don't want people to do exactly what you're talking about. Sure. They don't blow up buildings at 4.30 so you can be out there fucking pre-gaming, which they should. They should. They've got your money. In Vegas, they do. Vegas, those are- That's a thing in Vegas. That's a thing in Vegas. Which is so fucked up. Why? It's just so cutthroat and vicious, but awesome at the same time. Like, when you're the owner of that casino and they blow it up on you- I don't think you're the owner anymore. Obviously. That's always too like- Just that ambition. I come from such a small, like, blue-collar type world where like- To have the ambition of like, I'm going to buy that casino, then blow it the fuck up- And rebuild it? Then rebuild it. I guess I look at it from like, everybody in my family's in the trades. What would you do? Revamp it? Or just- You can't do that. I would just go- I'm not in the market for a casino, but I think- You would keep the- You would just change the name and keep it the same? I think so, because- I'd do some different specials. Everybody- Change the menu. Everybody I know complains about the size of a job, and I just go, that's it. One, you got to blow it up. Two, you got to- You got to fucking- You got to have to grade out that land. That's like- How many guys? How many bids? That's just like such a big undertaking where I go, I don't have the time. I ain't got nothing. Throw a coat of paint on. Yeah, throw a coat of paint. Get to, you know- Change the waiter's uniforms. Yes. Something. Something. I don't have the, we're going to burn it down and rebuild. Nobody would go to that casino. Well, that's why I'm not in the casino biz, guy. That's awesome. Nobody takes it step by step out there. They go all in. All right, this one's from the, oh, what a name. Northeast Ohio. It's in Northeast Ohio called Y Drive By. The owner's name was Dale. Rest in peace. He lived upstairs. He lived off Arizona green tea mixed with black velvet whiskey. God damn, that's an old timer. If you ask nicely, he'd turn on the Christmas lights and run the electric choo-choo train around the ceiling. Oh, I love that. Had a wooden bowling machine and a seasonal bowling league. My brother set the place on fire and got free-drinking. He had drinks for the night when he scored a perfect 300 game. Went down in the history of the place. How you done? Had a dusty jukebox decked out with all of our favorite Motown hits. A hand dryer in the woman's bathroom shot out blue sparks when you pushed the button. It had a functioning telephone booth in the wall space between the men's and women's bathroom. Got bought out and modernized a few years ago. What a time capsule. Whoa. That's the problem, though. That was well said. Yeah. That was well said. Very well said. That's, um. What I was thinking about the whole time you were reading that is none of that stuff happened immediately. That kind of stuff, that bar at its pinnacle of dive bar-ness, that took time. Yeah. That takes time. It takes decades. I doubt the hair dryer was shooting out sparks the second that they opened. No. And then it wasn't every time. It was like every tenth time. And they're like, ah, whatever. We got bigger. Probably get there. And then it was every time. And then it was just like, hey, where's the bathroom? To the left. Don't use the dryer. That kind of thing. Yeah. It takes time. Or something about. And that smell of like those all like not even bad or good. It's just like this was this was when you could still smoke in here to not smoke in here. Like, you know, it's like stained wood and the stickiness of the floor. It's like, yeah, the smoke smell. That wasn't smoking to non-smoking is something unique on its own. I love a fucking dive bar, which unfortunately, New York, they're getting harder and harder to maintain because the real estate. So that's why, like that Niagara bar is like that's going to be the new like a restaurant group owns that. I know that's going to be the new they own the place next door. Yeah. Dive. I don't know. It's like market when it was like a I don't was like butcher or something. Yeah. Something cool. I'm sure they're doing great. It's probably a great establishment. And I do like that. That's a good just knock around bar. But that's, you know, that's. That's not a fucking. I didn't know that bar, which are the fewer, fewer and far between. There's a great one. This is another place. Luke, see if you can find this. It's called the Liffey to all the way up in old. It's a holdover in the in Inwood real Irish joint. You go in and it's got like furniture you would have in your basement. Like it was just someone's couch. Like that. And that was the time me and my boy went in the Liffey to sick on Broadway, right? yeah nice see if you can find some of the images they have like uh the inside it's just like that's kind of that looks like even a little more redone it was like it had like a couch that like somebody was getting rid of and they were like drop it in there and it was just like still smoke stained in a good way and uh that was the last place we walked in and it's it's a irish pub in a predominantly dominican neighborhood at this point still with some holdover irish people and stuff like they work together yeah and you walk in and you're like i don't they they all look at you and they're like we don't fight we went in on like a wednesday night we don't trust each other we ain't trusting you yeah oh fuck these guys and i it was me and my friend who's dominican walked in so we do we look like undercover cops yeah they're just sending one of each of us into infiltrate a pack of cigarettes please uh and they they walked in and just sniffed it and we had like two beers wasn't super well it's just you know we weren't there for all night anyway but we're just like you got that vibe in a good way of like who better uh we're gonna smoke this we're gonna finish this beer smoke a cig and get the fuck on out of here yeah that night with me and my brother i was uh you know a little yakked up sure i think very talkative and i was going around like the worst yeah i was i was like chatting up people hey come here often what do you do this and that where you front like man looking back lucky i made we made it out of there yeah i think our throats slit the bathroom there's uh there's a place i don't know if it's still open i mean it still looks it's on broadway as well all the way up there called the 21 bar and there's like it's like a go-go bar like girls dance on the bar but like in bikinis or something like considered bar it's not a strip club i got you it's real small dude it's like not a go-go bar guy there's probably like 10 seats maybe 7 10 seats in there is it still open on broadway yeah yeah it's it's a 100 pure dominican hangout okay and i rolled in there with my boy and i was just one of the things like even like the bouncers like guy this is you sure it was just like he didn't say anything but it was like really i'm going into and not enemy terror but i'm you know i'm on the other side just to you specifically yeah yeah yeah to me specifically um this was years ago too this was he's with my man what are you doing no but it was like uh he said something in spanish to my boy where i don't know if he thought i was a cop or what it was you know and i sat in someone's seat oh yeah i remember this and it was like uh there was a conversation i'm sorry sir good day there's a conversation in spanish between my boy and this guy and my boy's not the kind of guy to relinquish the seat he was it was very much you're fucking sitting there and now i don't know what's happening they're going back and forth and i'm like i'm trying to get fucking buzzwords or something he's like you're sitting in that fucking seat because it's like a pride thing for him like wait till your pistola but yeah and then that was another thing where me and him were me and him in a lot of iffy situation sure where we've been like i was like he's like we're finishing these we're doing two beers i'm not letting them feel like they're running us out of here i like that and i'm yeah i like it in principle i don't like it when i don't know what the fuck's going on and i'm the cause of the issue i said i'm always the guy in the wrong seat you got walking in front of the frame yeah i'm always the just they're like i don't i get a little too comfy a little too quick crack a joke a little too you know what i mean i got a bad face sometimes this guy doesn't know what i'm talking about right slap him on the headlock ain't that right paca all right we gotta wrap it up oh what a fun one yeah thanks for all the submissions they were fantastic yes gang we love you and we'll see you next week hank joined bj's wholesale club the day he became a father of 30 i coach football now coach hank saves up to 25 off grocery store prices 30 pounds of pasta three cases of protein bars 75 sports drinks and that's just pre-game he knows teamwork and bj's knows savings this is your home coach home of the save join for just 20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save of the Save.