The Belgian Grand Prix 2025 (Rain. Again)

[Music] Belgium That was the race Twenty drivers Stuck in the rain Corner He stopped at home Sending some WhatsApp's From his phone [Laughing] Now we have to Can talk about racing Right towards your car race It's when the Earth's trying to be cool I think you've done brilliantly Good podcasting Are you observing or something? [Music] Stuck in the rain [Music] That's the rain [Music] That's it Stuck in the rain [Music] Hi, I'm Josh Weller And I'm Alfie Brad And this is Dirty Air Reviewing the wetest race in the history of Formula One There was so much water on the circuit That we had to wait an extra 80 minutes for the race to start It was heavy rain until it was sunny for ages And then the race started Should we get into our gridwalk review? Um, yes Okay, let's crack on With the gridwalk review Gridwalk review How many celebrities who didn't even pay for tickets Are going to give Martin Brundel a shitty time Gridwalk review Now this was a new team in Formula One We've been going on about Croftian Brundel For a long time being the aunt and deck of F1 But this week we saw a new duo The good cop, bad cop Of F1 Nico Rosberg and Martin Brundel Doing the gridwalk Martin Brundel found the Ernie Wise To his Eric Morkham [Laughter] I think they worked together brilliantly because they have And I like that's such a fucking. Anyway, sorry, that's very good That's an old reference Nico, I like comedy fan Nico had such a. Such a bounce to him Such a sense of levity I will say both of their umbrellas were too big And I have a real gripe against large umbrellas But maybe because of audio equipment, etc I will give them a pass He did say It's chucking it down Which I like Nico said that But chucking his learn how lingo Yeah Because I was trying to translate French I was in France last week this year as you well know A member of the Patreon 3 months ago And I was thinking There's a real buzz about it And I was trying to translate that into French I wonder what that. Lean Grand Bouss No Le Bouss Anyway, Martin Brando started a good walk by giving a lovely tribute to Ozi Osborne Which we just did as well actually But I have to say that whilst he did give Ozi Osborne a lovely tribute I thought that his silence on Hulk Hogan was deafening Do you think they're prepping Nico Rosberg to be the new Martin Brando? I think he'd make quite a good way I don't think he can do it on his own I think they have to do it together because you get the young energy And Martin Brando not that he doesn't have energy but he has more years on Nico And I think there's a nice mix I think as soon as Serena Williams' bodyguard says no interviews to Nico Rosberg He's going to have that Barbie moment where he sees red I think he's finally going over, he's getting it Before me one drivers are children who drive go-cuts, who are shouted at, who don't have friendships And their only friendships then turn into rivals who they start bitter hatreds with When they were their only world championship in retiree And he's just started socialising So maybe like if he had his Barbie moment now, he'd be more adept at dealing with it I foresee that by the looks of things and maybe judging by this race by the sounds of things Nico Rosberg is about to complete his transition into Joan Rivers And another niche comedy reference I don't think he's going to be able to deal with it I think as soon as Tony Hawk doesn't want to talk to him He's going to be, "Eh, eh, eh, that's not very nice eh, eh, eh, eh, that's on me What are you doing? You're a 60-year-old man and you're fucking skateboard And he's going to have the people in his ear going, "9 minutes left Nico Just be not, and I don't, I think Martin and Nico together are a very, And they spoke to Oliver Berman who had a big wing Mmm, it was accent And Oliver Berman is accent and is flat wing And then Esther Bannock on with his small wing And then Martin Brundle, this is how dedicated Martin Brundle is to the gridwalk And to us as viewers and to giving us our entertainment dollar or pounds Depending on where you live Martin Brundle saw his own son on the gridwalk, come in That's my son, fuck it, I'll talk to him, I'll fuck it out He owes me 500 quid for calling his son out Helped him with the deposit for his house, so if we talk now, it's just going to be awkward He's just retired, he's got to put solar panels on his fucking roof, he lives in Norfolk What's he think? There's never any fucking son there So maybe that's why he didn't talk to him Maybe And then they had a little bit of talk about the wet tires I've written down here that they should share an umbrella as to your previous point Mmm Which I think would be very cute Would be very cute And when he mentioned the wet tire, I was half expecting him to launch into a sort of Attenborough-esque And there we see the wet tire Never before in a Formula One race, have we seen the wet tire Never used, never even got in it, they can't heat it up, he went on for quite some time about that You know what they say? They always say that rain neutralizes the race But I think rain neutralizes the gridwalk as well, because there were fucking, there were no celebrities Rain is like, was it a buzz where she melts if it rains? Well, yeah, if it rains but any water She does it with a cup And I guess once you've had all that filler and you know, you're a footballer who has had all the hair stuff I guess rain's probably the enemy Who was there? There was one of the singer songwriters, he was there From 2018 There was a singer songwriter from 2018 Jason Morales No, that's 2011 Oh yeah You need to go seven years hence to get this guy And he's like one of the. Was it Edward Sharp from the Magnaetic Zero? No, because that's like a kind of smelly group of people It was that era It was that era but it's a British guy and he's like, he's not Sam Fender Oh look at, I've got no idea It's like Louis Capaldi Not Louis Capaldi, but that him The one who didn't. the one who wasn't funny and therefore nobody likes I would take. I would love all my gridwarks to just be that No more famous people Just Martin and Nico wreaking havoc Like two schoolboys who've had to stay at boarding school over the winter And they steal the keys at night and go and eat all the cream cheese They scampered about They scampered And that's what I saw I saw scam. I saw scampering That's the best Speaking of scamping It's nice to see that 90s formula one is still alive Because Jensen Button appears as if from nowhere And then Nippel Tweaks them both Yes, he's Nippel Tweaks, Ross Buggin and said, "Oh do you want one?" He's a Martin Like it was a high five So sorry, I didn't tweak your Nippel I'm just enjoying the race What a weird thing And it's cold as well, so Nipples are going to be erect It was you know, as somebody who was a fan of the Queen I tell you what actually, I don't want to go on about this I've just driven back from France And do you know what it did on my way back when I was in France And going up through the north of France Tweaked in Nippel? It rained Do you know what I did? Tweaked in Nippel No, I carried on driving And was there any risk to.? No, zero peril Well zero peril, it was only at 80 miles an hour Because that is the 130 km speed limit We'll get to the rain review after the grid walk review Yes, sorry And Nico Rosberg said to Jensen Button The last poll was McLaren in 2012 And then Nico said to Jensen, "I'm a big fan of you, so I know you're statistics" And then he said, "Just kidding, just kidding" Which I didn't need him to say that he was kidding No, I think it would have been funny if he said "There's some kind in my ear, actually, just called me" And then Nico said something like, "Everybody saying it's good conditions or someone to do with the Red Bull" And mine went, "Yeah, that's funny" Which I think is Martin's way of saying, "Can you, okay, shut the shut" Don't forget who runs And then mine went, "We've got 3.5 minutes left And I start to get nervous at that point Because I thought a race was about to come And I said, "Oh my God, 3.5 minutes, how are they going to fill the time?" "There's no footballers, there's no singers" Brad Pitt's done with this, he's on to his next project "Go, can't, it's the movie" And then we get a throwback, two throwbacks from F1 of Yester here A name that rings in my ears with the voice of Murray Walker And I remember it very fondly, it was Hike Kovalainen "Hike Kovalainen" Hike Kovalainen And I looked at Hike Or Hike, or Hike Kovalainen In my head, he's 60 Hike Kovalainen, right? Because he's an extra driver How old is Hike Kovalainen? Murray Walker, Hike Kovalainen, friends with Yosfer Stappen Well, you know, they were hanging out together They were hanging out together Does Yos have any friends? I'm going to go. I'm going to go 53 He's 43 He's 43 He's a Lanzo's age He's a Lanzo's age He's an hour age He's not hour age We're closer to the ages of the F1 dads Now, we could have birthed all of a bandman, isn't that crazy? We could be Kimmy's dad My son is only eight years younger than Kimmy That's crazy And then, the greatest moment that's ever happened, I think, in any full and long grid walk I'd like more of this every week Yosfer Stappen, he might not write column for "Snapin" anymore His blog on MaxrisTappen's website But I would appreciate it if he's on every good walk Because it was the most awkward And we don't normally play back the grid walk Because I think there's issues with copyright and sky But. Listen to this Goss All change, all change In the team, big changes in the team Are you and Max, everybody happy with where it's going so far? Well, they decided to change doors They. They. They They decided to change After all my threats They decided to change after I leaked the water Yeah, I think copyright issues are the least you'll always bet Goss, last year, you said "Horner needs to go" Because he said "Horner needs to go last year" Because he's going to destroy the need That was one and a half year ago So he still said it He's like, "I don't know, I said that year and a half ago" Yeah, but it's just something you can say, isn't it? In this fast pace, new 24 hour news cycle that we live in now That might have been in medieval times That was the old me And then Nico Rosberg chooses violence here It's different, I have nothing to say So it's fine, now you're quiet You're quiet now I'm always quiet Is he always quiet? I don't think given his criminal record I imagine some of that was quite loud I don't know, maybe somebody told him the expression "Silence is violence" So he went, "Oh great, I'll do that one" No, maybe he had "Silence is golden" and went, "Oh, gold's first place" "I'll be silent" And then Brundel, as soon as Nico starts going, "Oh, you start pushing in Brundel, the pro changes the subject to tire conditions" And then Goss says, "What do you make sense about the conditions?" And then Goss goes, "Well, it's wet" Immediately yanks the microphone away, I went, "Yeah, I know that" I meant more specifically, "Fucking oaf" Do you think Goss had a hand in the demise, the downfall and the sacking of Christian Hornet? Yes or no? Three, two, one Yes, there we go And then we get a little bit of Holk and Berg We get a little bit of Bottas Where they say you're joining Cadillac next year and Bottas very cleverly goes, "Oh, I can't hear you, maybe see you on the grid But I think Nico Rosberg's energy is was a was was was and I've noticed on in on the F1 Online world a lot of people are really coming round to Nico in the way that you are as well They have complimentary awkwardness in that one awkwardness sort of offsets the other And they make a rather delightful odd couple Yeah I've found it very endearing And and I thought Nico it just keeps looking better and better And then we get the National Anthem which was sung by Salvatore Levosi A very Belgian name Is that a Belgian name? No, no And it was the, because remember I think two years ago they had that caped guy with the star sunglasses on with the giant cape Yeah And a fanland of a lot of it had that the office moment where he sort of looked at the camera It was like this is fucking shit So they decided to pull it back a little bit this year But I'm gonna give the Belgian National Anthem a 10 out of 10 Okay I think it's a really good maybe a 9 out of 10 it's not the Italian National Anthem And then the singer had his umbrella being held by an army girl And then there was a military plane fly over and then we cut to Lewis Hamilton who was like in a do rag And Kimmy was holding his umbrella for him Okay What are you gonna give the grid walk? I'm giving this grid walk a 9 out of 10 I They earned it They've earned it That's the highest ever grid walk review They really earned that they were a brilliant team And Yeah I think Yeah As comedy double act to go Or Reeves and Mortimer The smell of Nico and Martin I'd like to see that Do you know what's so good about rain as well as it means that that DJ can't They have that stupid DJ on the side of the grid just pretending to play a song And when it rains they can't they haven't figured out how to stop him dying from electricity shocking Yeah So there was no DJ made it even better That's good And the Belgian crowd are great I just I do think F1 You need to stop playing the Ed Sheeran song Drive Because during the course of this televised race I heard that song five times And the only person benefiting from that is Ed Sheeran And Ed Sheeran has enough money He doesn't need the performance royalties of that song It's because it's F1's finally got a song Because in the past they went we need a song And Formula One went yeah do you like will I am And everyone at F1 went absolutely not to the kids like him And then someone went yeah everyone loves will I am And he gave us this is the formula and whatever let's go let's go Is that a Formula One song? Yeah those are official F1 songs and they are the worst things I've ever heard in my life And Drive is a mild improvement and everyone are going they're just going too hard on it It's not even the best song called Drive is that who's gonna drive the cars? Yeah that was my song of the race Was it? Yeah because I don't know who if nobody wants to drive that I didn't know who was going to drive them home. It's also Inkibus drive. Oh, yeah. That's the best song called drive. The Don't. The Fantastic. The Doldong. Uh, whatever tomorrow of Cumbbrings, I'll be there with Open Arms and Open Eyes. Yeah. Would you kill the Queen to crush the Hive speaking of music? We had a new F1 theme this week, which I think is bad. It was suggested to me that perhaps they had to change it because Christian Horna wrote to the previous theme tune. That's why I did wonder where the heat had something to do with it. Because when the race comes on, I'm ready for it. [humming] [humming] [humming] [humming] [humming] [humming] [humming] [humming] Do you quite earnestly what genre of music that was? Yes. And you said bad music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the new one, I didn't think it could get any worse, but this new one is awful. Can we have the old one back, please? What are they doing? Um, isn't it from the F1 movie? No, just wait for the season to change. Why are they giving it to us? I thought it was the Han Zimmer thing. I thought it was the. No, he did Austria. Oh, I thought, okay. Why? He's not Belgian. And then, okay, so we've done our gridwalk review. But today we have a very special edition to the Dirtier podcast. We have the Rain review. So Martin Brundel, as soon as the Rain starts, and they hold the race, Martin Brundel throws an absolute belter into the conversation and says, "I hope they get this race going soon, because I've got to motorbike back to London." [laughing] Like he's fucking Tom Cruise in Top Gun Maverick. You don't want to be. And you know what, they both have platforms on their shoes when they motorbike. I mean, I was annoyed that. Sorry, that I just heard that as I was continuing to speak. That's very funny. I was annoyed that the race didn't start. Can you imagine how annoyed you'd be if you were going to motorbike back to London in the pouring rain? Like the aqua planing, the danger involved of being a tiny little man on top of a powerful motorbike in the pouring belge and rain. The most vicious kind of rain. In the cold, no belge and rain. And I mean, fuck, the bravery of that man. And then to say, "Oh, we can't start the race yet." You fucking pigs. To quote John Bon Jovi, "Brundel is a cowboy on a steel horse he rides, and he's wanted dead or alive." And I hope for all of our entertainment pounds, it's alive for a long time. What does he. does Martin Brundel stop? Does he wear leathers? Yes. I'd be so confused if I was refilling the diesel. Whoever they call diesel in France, what do they call it? Jesus. In France. Gazole. Is Vin. Gazole. In France, it's just a horrible drink. It's wine. Gazole. Wine Gazole. I'd be so confused if I was pumping some petrol and I just saw like this, you know, like a guitar twang. And these footsteps. Ch. Ch. And then just. There's leather jacket unzipping. Man pulling his arm out both sides and the jacket hangs down by his waist and he pulls off his helmet and shakes his hair free. And it's Martin Brundel getting a John Bonne burn and espresso. Do you think his son was on the back? Come on out. I've got your helmet here. Dad, I thought we were going to get the Euro start. No, no, no, come on, get on the back. It's only a little bit of rain. Let's talk about the son of solar panels. You've just had fitted to your house, even though you live in North Norfolk. They're the helmets with a little walkie-talkies in. So we can still chat. We got a little cutaway to Jimmy and Bono. Do you think. How do you think Lewis feels seeing Jimmy with Bono? Do you think that's how I'd bump into your ex and boots? And they're with their new partner and the new partner's like younger. And hotter. And they've got loop in the basket. Some duerex play. The warming one. [laughs] Alonzo and Carlos get both. They both gave a little thumbs up to the camera. That's nice. Very cute. And then we had a little chat with Iocomactso. Now, I've said this in the past that certain names in F1 sound like delicious desserts and meal foods. So who have I said in the past? Sounds like a lovely. Stopful van don. Sounds like a little fluffy apple pastry. You can have with some custard that you'd get in a French restaurant. And a stuffle. Can I get a stuffle of andormous? Some custard, please. A stuffle of andormous. Does it? And I think an Iocomactso sounds absolutely fucking delicious. It does. It's like a hot rice chicken. Maybe a breaded. Lovely little with the spicy. I mean, it contains all the letters from the word "catsuit". Oh yeah, that's true. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. You know what else sounds tasty? A water letter. Bautiletto. I wonder what British names sound delicious to foreigners. Maybe a Jensen button. Yeah, a Jensen button. A sound mustard. Ooh, I laughed at the hang of a Jensen button. I don't know where that acts. We heard the fish and chips. A Jensen button. I want the Jensen button with the matey. We had the better sausage. We had the garricken. A point of bitter and the Jensen button, please. I notice that. I don't know if this is mean or not. Tell me if this is mean or tell me if I should cut this out of the show. But Gabor Bautiletto, I notice he looks like. There's a scene in Jurassic Park where a young velociraptor is born in the lab. And Richard Attenborough goes down and the egg hatches. And there's this very nice scene where he goes, "I'm here for all the birth of all the little ones on this island." Yes, I am. And he's trying to get him out the egg and he goes, "Come on, little one. Come on." And this little velociraptor comes out. And I think Gabor Bautiletto looks like a young velociraptor. See, it's a compliment in a way because they're a deadly dinosaur. And they're the coolest dinosaur after the T-Rex. I like raptors, but yeah. Well, I like a triceratops. Do you say raptor? Yeah, that's a velociraptor. So I'm talking about it. Oh, right, yeah, yeah, sorry. I think Gabor Bautiletto looks like a velociraptor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he could jump up on a kitchen and go, "And two kids would be trying to hide and one would climb a spoon." Yeah, that's. Yeah. And then here's a new thing they've added when it's raining. They have a driver's stat of things that the drivers like. So they showed LeCler and the garage. And it said, "LeClerc, never have I ever." And then he asked to answer it. And he said, "Parked my car correctly." Just, "What the fuck is that?" Are we that? It's formula on that. What are we doing? I think if the rain delay is going to be a certain amount of time, what do you reckon they just should? Because it was like 80 minutes? Was that what it was, the delay? 80, 90 minutes, yeah. So just put "Meet the fuckers on." No. You know when a car's overtaking and you get it in the little screen on the left hand side? Yeah. That's where they should show the movie. Yeah. So we still get the main broadcast, but we also get "You, Me, and Do, Pre." Or like. Or like it's on Twitch. So you get. Like it's not direct as commentary. It's Brundel's commentary of "Meet the fuckers." That's great, isn't it? That's a good idea. Yeah. And obviously his name is Gaylord Focker, which is amusing to some people. It was quite amusing, but it's one of those jokes that hasn't really. It's not necessarily that it's offensive, although some people might find it, you know, like it's playing with ideas of sexuality and making. Like, that's not my problem. I just don't think that sort of humor has carried over into the modern day. I watch "Meet the Parents" with my children. It just doesn't stand up for you. I think it's a great. It's one of my favourite films. Really? When you're a fool in love, Randy Newman. Yeah, that's great. Um, that's what I have. I have "Nepal's Jack" and you milk me sort of the highlight. And then. No, the highlight of "Meet the Parents" is. We'll get back to the race in a sec. It's the poem that he leaves for his mother. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the cancer. You gave me life. You gave me life. You gave me milk. Your name was Angela, the angel from heaven, but you're also an angel of God. Selfishly, I try to keep you here while the cancer ate away your vital organs, and I shall see your face again. Like an unstoppable rebel force. Like some sort of revenge. Yeah. And I actually. So from my birthday, Claire House, friend of the show, she actually glazed it onto a plate for me. She did. And she gave you that gift. Where did she give it to you, Josh? I don't know. Huh? At your show? No, she gave it to you at the F1 bar in St. Paul's. Oh, yeah, well, we did race it. Anyway, "Aston Martin banned chips from their Gary, which in Belgium." So that's two things that have been banned from Asamite in this year. Um, chips and Adrian Neue who's banned himself. Yeah. And points. [laughter] Hmm, they banned points. [laughter] [scoffs] Oh, my God. Yeah. And then Nico joins them in the commentary box. A sort of watershed moment, I think, for F1, for him. He said he was honored to be there. And he recounted some lovely stories about him and Lewis quad biking back in the day. And Martin Brandle said, he said, "Yeah, you guys used to come into the motorhome." And he said it with some real fire. Martin Brandle went, "You two are just so annoying." And he really leaned into how little. How much they were little brats, little shits. Which actually, I get it. Those two together when they were friends must have been a nightmare. Yeah. I get the way that Nico and Lewis sort of speak about each other. Whenever they allude to one another, there's always a sense of regret that they let it get away, that they let the friendship go. They now, like they now realise, I don't know, actually the friendship was. Now I realise that the friendship was really important to me. Yeah, in many ways, they've both won, but have they won. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Nico even said, "Oh, yeah, we live in the same building." And then they went, "Oh, so your friends now?" Nico was like, "Oh, I wouldn't go that far." So they live in the same building. And Lewis and Nico, because they're both hiding from tax in Monaco. Yeah. So they live. They're registered as living in the same building. And they don't wave to each other from the balconies. If what I would do is I'd set up the string telephone thing and play team radio. That would be cool. Yeah. Box, Lewis. Yeah. And then the medical car was sent out, which I was confused by, because I guess they were trying to disperse water from the track, but I don't know why Bert didn't go out. Mm-hmm. Is that near his vineyard? Where the. Because he was obviously there, but what I don't know. Yeah, well, he would have been just hand back on the wheel, looking up at the sky going, "Oh, it's going to be great for the harvest." And then Nico went, "Anyway, that's it for me. Thank you for joining. Thank you for letting me be part of this." He signed off like it was an old, tiny radio broadcast. And they were signing off for the night. It's very nice. And then Crofty wished Martin Brondler happy Norfolk day, which is when I really started to feel like they were running out of material. Mm-hmm. You know when you're doing a gig and the next act isn't there? And someone does that sign, like keep going. Like when they like live ate whatever it was called. When Elton John wasn't ready and Ricky Gervais was on stage. So he had to do the David Brent dance. Yeah. That. I would. I think we were about 15 minutes away from Brondle doing the David Brent dance. Happy Norfolk day. And then Martin Brondler told us that Pocahontas lived in North Norfolk. That's a. I don't really know what to do with that. She died in Graves End, is that right? I couldn't. She was in America and then they went, "Do you want us come back to have a. You can try a Jensen button." Oh yeah. And then she came back and saw Graves End and went, "Fuck this." And just died. I think when we do red flags and there's rain, I think we need to bring out whoever sang the National Anthem again and just have them vamp. Do you remember at Wimbledon in 1996 when it was rain? And it was before they had a roof. And Cliff Richard, they gave my microphone and he just acupelored a gig. Do you remember that? I was getting the top clap. Got myself a walk in, talking, sleeping, he living doll. He did the, you know, he did the all his songs, didn't he? We're all going on or something. I think they need to bring out. I mean will I am? It's obviously there, isn't he? He's just lurking around, getting out, making him do. I don't think they didn't. My lumps, my lumps, my lumps. Get him to come out and do that. My lovely lady lump. Yeah, check it out now, yo. Like just to feel the time, give us, like you say, formula one is the, you know, the biggest growing sport in the world. Prove it. He could have done it. Where are the cars? The cars. The cars. Before the race, Christian Horner did his first Instagram story as an unemployed man. And it was him riding a horse. And it said different type of horse power this week. Yeah. Yeah. I told you he was going to do the whole Ferrari job on top of a horse. How do you. Yeah, we actually got a DM saying you guys always predict the future like the Simpsons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were like, "We were right." What do you think Horner did on the Sunday when he, you know, it's his first, your first Sunday in 20 years where you're not employed by Red Bull? And you don't really want to watch the race, but your wife is also there. So you kind of just need an excuse to go out to the study. You know what I mean? You're basically just praying to high Christ that Red Bull don't win. And you don't watch it, but you do. And he would have come back. He would have gone out on his horse and hit it too hard today, probably. And you know, I've got off the horse. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I was just taking my frustrations out on you. And I shouldn't have hit you like that. Sorry. And he gets off the horse and then he goes right, 90 minutes up. Race is probably finished. I'll just go and see who's on the podium. And then he gets there and the race is 10 minutes in. And he thinks, well, fuck sake. Wow. What's going on? Okay, let's do a race review. Look, this weekend for me was all about the commentators. So hats off to Edward Crabbit's Martin Brown. Is it Edward Crabbit's? Is Ted Edward? No, he's the. Theodore. Oh, Theodore Crabbit's. Martin Brundel, Nico Rosberg and David Kroff. Because they filled that time. Fantasticly well. They did a really good job. And then we had a race that was, you know, the first 12 laps was. You know what? It felt like a race and then it was just. That was then it was shit. The whole thing really fucking pissed me off, actually, Josh. Yeah, me too. I mean, the. I'm sorry. I've just driven back from France. I'll say it again. And what. like the speed limits in. As soon as you get into this country are like. stiflingly low. Like it's so. There are dual carriageways coming into London that are 30 mile an hour speed limit. And I just think like you could eradicate all the death on the motorway. I'm going somewhere. You could eradicate all the death on the motorway by lowering the speed limit from 70 miles an hour to 30. So you just have. And it just. but we've agreed. We've all agreed as a society that we'd rather get to Manchester in three and a half hours rather than eight. And the price that we're willing to pay for that is some human life. And that's true. We've genuinely decided that. That's the deal we've made. Okay. So fucking race. Are you kidding? Like, oh, it's a bit dangerous. I don't give a shit. Well. If you've got halos now, they've spent millions and billions of pounds making these cars much more safe. And the FIA, like. If the cars are safer than ever before, then why are you being more cautious than ever before? Like, I understand it's a dangerous sport. That's what it is. And rather than focusing on whatever it is you're focusing on this week, trying to get Charles Leclerc to start a new branded cognac or have a boob job or something. Like, actually focus on the race. It was so frustrating. And also, and this will be my last point on the thing. All the cars going around to. Now, the cars are the pinnacle of automobile technology, aren't they? And everything that is in that car, like the technology that is developed for the pinnacle of automobiles is sort of siphoned down to more commercial vehicles, technology, aren't they? Like hybrid technology Formula One comes down. Like, high fashion catwalks, the extremity of that fashion gets filtered down into more commercial products, you find in H&M, whatever. So why when it comes to drying the tracks, are they using a tractor? Yeah. Like, what surely there's like a spaceship I could use or like a. A hovercraft. A hovercraft. Something with like, get luckiest fucking tylobes of hair dryers. Yeah. Like, dice and air, whatever's to the back of a. Like, tip-burp my lander. Two things I've noticed this year is the track is either too wet to race or it's on fire. And if I'm paying for the sky-sport subscription to watch the race, I want to watch the race. I don't want to watch a track burning or and I don't want to watch an hour and a half of filler. And like George Russell said that it's not racing, it's stupidity in the rain. And Max was snapping in the car, I was like, can we just go, please? Good. So they were saying, because I had a lot of children with me and I missed some of what was being said and what the driver's. I'm pretty sure, and I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that everybody involved who wasn't broad casting at that point would have been going, you know, I think they should really fucking go racing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd like to. Who was. And then a rolling start. The bus. But it's the standing start, you pigs. And Lando said he was like, oh, I can't even see the safety cut. And I was like, really mate, like, I'm not trying to say I know how to do your job. I'm not trying to be one of those people that watches this football team and goes, oh, I could do that, but no, I couldn't. But I do think on some level, Max Lewis in Alonzo, when the red flag was on, and they looked around and they saw all the young new boys scared of going out in the rain. I reckon all three of them looked at each other and just rolled their eyes. Oh, this is crazy. Why aren't they sending us out? Like, I could be home by now watching Ozark. Like, what is this? This is so stupid. Who do you think watches Ozark, sorry? Alonzo. Alonzo is a favorite show. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who do you think watches Oz? Lewis. Lewis watches Oz. Who do you think watches American Psycho? Lance. Lance, yeah, that's a good shot. They ate his brains. Papa. And it was a very underwhelming start. PS3 overtook. Lando said, why do I have no pack? And he wasn't referring to his proton pack or his willy. What's a proton pack? A proton pack, a positron collider. What's a nuclear accelerator? It's what the Ghostbusters used to catch ghosts. Sorry. And then what I've done this week is, instead of a race review, I've run ups and downs. Okay. Yeah. So do you want to hear my ups? Yeah. Stroll at the back. That's an up for me. I always like seeing Lance stroll at the back. Because that's where he belongs at the back. And I think Adrian Newey, there was a stroll at the back there. Everyone attacked and then turned into a Brussels. Brits, bristles, blitz. Are you ready, Alonzo? Lance, Lawrence. All right, fellas. Let's not go. I enjoyed, um, was Lewis's car sort of on fire for a bit? Well, if it was, not for long. I liked, uh, Kimmy at the back. Because I think this, all this talk about him being a generational talent. I think at this point, um, Toto is probably going, "I should just get Georgian Max." Hmm. Why can't I have Georgian Max? It was the whole, like, fun of a wet race is that it does mad shit. Yeah. This wet race did almost no. Was it spar a few years ago? Was it 2021 when there was like a lap? Yeah. They did a lap. Yeah. Is that the right race? Yeah. Uh, uh, uh, it was Belgian 21. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I was getting triggered by that. And that, that, the one lap race was at least more honest. Because this was just a one lap, like, for ages. This was like that, a one lap race that went on for four to four years. Okay, I disagree. I would rather, I, I preferred this to the procession lap. That procession lap existed so they didn't have to refund ticket holders. Yes, that wasn't the great, the best thing. Another up I've got here is that I put, we had a good 18 laps and then around lap 29, you could hear the commentators running out of steam. Because they'd been on air for like six hours at this point. And I had a thought, which is, why can't we sub in commentators? So you know, like a pilot on a long-haul flight gets to go and have a nap and there's another pilot who sleeps like, oh, it's feet or something. Yeah, yeah. And he gets up and sits in the pilot seat for a few hours. I think we should sub in commentators. So, roughly goes up for a nap. Yeah, of course. And then we get Olivia Rodrigo. That, that's a great idea. That's what they do in the cricket. And now, St Vincent's gonna do the next 10 laps. How fun would that be? David Bunn is gonna do the next 10 laps of the race. That's a great idea. Yeah, or check out Perez. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I mean, yeah, in the cricket, it's like, and now I'm gonna pass the microphone over to Dinesh Karthik, who's X and I'm not going to attempt. Who's another, another up I've got is the clerk saying, leave me alone, please. To his team. That was good. It just goes to show everything you need to know about Ferrari, which is that I'm here. I'm doing the job. Fuck off. You don't talk to me when I need you to talk to me and you talk to me when I really don't need you to talk to me. I was, I'm paraphrasing, but that was the vibe that he was. Yeah, they go, Charles, we have a problem with the tires and it's like, yeah, you know what the problem is? The problem is everything. The problem with Ferrari is everything. Everything that could be a problem at Ferrari is showing itself. They don't have a car that's gonna do anything next year that I honestly, I love Fred Viser, but I do think and I do think Horner needs to come in. I keep saying it every week and every week, I believe it more and more, put Horner in Ferrari team principle. He will bust some heads. He will sack everyone. That's the thing I think they need. Like Red Bull like reached their limit of the guy being a prick. There is Ferrari need a prick. They need an asshole. They need this little shit to come in and go, race is not fun. Life isn't good. Feel some despair and get better at your jobs. This is not good enough. You're all having far too nicer time in your beautiful house. Are you eating a canola in a staff meeting? I think if Horner got the job at Ferrari, I would want to see him on a wrecking ball wearing no clothes like Miley Cyrus going into that beautiful house that Lewis stood in front of and erecting a horrid sterile building for work only. Some horrible futuristic utilitarian nightmare where it was just horribly white bright light and just. Yeah, for all of everyone of Ferrari's, their beds are too soft. That's the problem. They're all too comfortable. And they need to. It's in F1 the movie. Doesn't Brad Pitt say like, oh, you need to break it and build it up again or something like that. Yes, yes, yes. And that's what they need to do. Okay, here are my downs of the race. Okay. Ed Sheeran Drive. Yep. That's my biggest down. Yeah, they play on the podium now. What are they doing? It's. But the podium is. BZ, is that his name? BZ. Yeah. Carmen. Carmen by BZ. Carmen by BZ. Yeah. Carmen by BZ. George BZ. Yeah. Sure. Signs at the back. Big down for me. Williams have apologized for their bad pit stop. Yes. And then Bautiletto saying, Nico needs to overtake him, man. If not, let me go. I just thought, shut up. You kick sound. I don't ask you to swap. You're both going to finish where you're going to finish. Like if Nico can't overtake you can't. Just shut up. I had that opinion about two years ago and we put it online. And it was actually one of the clips that we put out that gave us the idea for something that we do on the Patreon £3 a month. And. Yeah, I got so much flack for having that, like the back of the grid doesn't matter. Oh, yeah, you got loads of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so much hate. But it doesn't. But this, no, for this race, it didn't. No, it doesn't. It just doesn't. Okay, no, get any points. It's just not important. My other down is a Okon and Plum last as well. I don't like to see that. A little cute, gerbil boy. So one of your ups was stole at the back. Yeah. And one of my downs was Okon at the back. Yeah. Okay, so who was at the very first personal preference based on personality and character? Yeah, who's at the very back then? Okon. Okon was at the very very back. I don't know where he finished. And then here's my other big down is Hamilton versus Albon, where they were like, Hamilton is on a streak. He's overtaken seven cars and then he got within a second of Albon and couldn't overtake a Williams. That must hurt so much. You won seven world championships and now you can't overtake the Jurisale Bunny team. Can you imagine the pack? And you're in a Ferrari. You're in some of the greatest drivers of all time. You're in the most iconic sports brand in the history of planet earth and the Jurisale Bunny is beating you. I would just pull over and go home, get some chicken vegan nuggets and go home. Yeah, they're very good with that. And the French and I imagine the Belgian McDonald's, they have a really good veggie selection. No way. Well, you can get a beer. I mean a beer. You can get a beer when you're in a McDonald's. Yeah. What do they call a whopper? A big arch. Okay, fine. I was doing pulp fiction. Here's another down for me was the team radio kissing lander right on the bot, where they said you are naturally quicker to him, which I just was like, what does that even mean? It was kind of good. It was like almost good, wasn't it? The fact that he was on a different strategy and he was on the hards and they kind of worked out and like, oh, Willie catch them. And then as soon as we worked out that Oscar wasn't going to get, it wasn't going to stop a second time. You just went out, doesn't it? My other big down is a croffty comparing Aussie to Aussie. So Aussie Osborne, we've lost Aussie Osborne, but now an Aussie is going to win the Belgian croppery. Yeah. It would have been better if the Oscar Piazzerie was like, I don't know if there's a driver on the grid who is further away from Aussie Osborne. What do you mean? I mean, it just in vibe in terms of like who he is. He is the anti-Ozie Osborne. My song of the race is Aussie Osborne's crazy train. Okay. Well, I've called it crazy DRS train. Crazy do it. Yeah, there we go. And I've got a little fact to you. So the fastest burger eating record is a McDonald's hamburger in five seconds by Ricardo Rex terabyte Francisco. And that's five seconds for the fastest burger eating record. So Leclerc finished 15 seconds behind the McLarence, which means that Ricardo Rex terabyte Francisco could have eaten three burgers in a time that it took from between Oscar and Charles crossing the finish lines. Isn't that interesting? You know, I think that was my biggest down of the race. It wasn't really a down, actually. It was just a bit of an eye-opener because I texted you. We text. I was at about the retires during the race. No, I lost the commentary on my feed. That's just watching. I was just watching the Sky Sports coverage, but it's just the cars without the commentary. It's like I felt like I was watching a lava lamp. Yeah. Like it's just nothing. Yeah, like whenever I've got a watching horror movie and I get a bit scared, I mute the horror movie and I play the Mr. blobby song and it just stops being scary. That's a weird version of the Babadook to have seen, isn't it? Here's my other big down. Lando could have won without those three errors, a sort of crafty set. Brilliant. Well, the Titanic won a sync without those three icebergs. What are you going to give this race out of ten? Piss. I'm going to give it a piss out of ten. What's your score? I'm giving the televised broadcast an eight out of ten. It's not what we do, though. We give the race a rate. I'm giving the race a three. Well, then I'm going to give it a one and a half. Because to be honest with you, with the rain review and the gridwalk review, I didn't need the race. I was so entertained by Nico Rosberg regaling on the porch in a walking chair with a blanket over his knees and a hot cup of cocoa with five marshmallows in it. Everyone gets five. I was more than happy to hear him talk about the old days with Lewis. And actually watching Lewis then try to catch Albon really bummed me out. Yeah. I mean, there was an overtake up the top. At the beginning of the race, that was a bit good. Then they sort of took the joy out of that forest by saying it was a power of shoe. And was it? I don't know. Well, then, yeah, you shouldn't have used up all your power. What are you thinking? And that whole thing about it comes down to, it was his errors that like, yeah, well, yeah, we have one race this weekend. And then, so here's the thing, we've had a long gap between three weeks between the races. And then we get hungry this weekend, hungry hungry hungry. And then we get another three week off. And then we get until the end of August. We've had longer no racing in July and August. Then we've had racing. But it's not a full length summer break. Is it usually a four week summer break? We've got one, two, three weekends and then we're back for the Dutch Grand Prix. Yep, we're going Dutch. And I would very much like more races or just put them all together, put them all together so that the season's done by October. Oh, that would be so. And then we can live our lives rather than be strangled every week. Like, sometimes I'll watch a race on a Sunday and go, oh my god, this is my Sunday. Like my girlfriend's annoyed because I'm watching a race rather than, you know, and it's taking a lot of time. Whatever she says drizzle. Yeah, we can't go see the Asparagus, whatever it is, whatever the thing is that she wants. She was going to see the Asparagus. Flowers, let's go. I'd take her. The flower of the Asparagus. I would love it if you to please take my girlfriend. And then I, I'm just sat there going, this is such a waste than my Sunday. And I did feel that way for some of this weekend. I have a Formula One racing question. I don't want to start to hear anything. If you were giving like, so 40%, 30%, 6, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, so it's 100%, the driver's championship is 100% going to Oscar or Lando. Oscar. How do you divvy those up? You giving percentage likelihoods for each driver? I mean, this is probably going to upset some people, but I don't think I think Oscar has a champion's mindset in this, in not in the way that. Schumacher, Hamilton, but in a similar to Vettel and Rykenham. I think he has this, let's just go. We've got the fastest car, so let's make Haywire the Sun shines. And I think Lando is in his head quite a lot. I think he's done a lot of work to get out of his head. And I think actually his rather cheeky, happy, go lucky, scamp, demeanor after the race. Oh, yeah, made a few mistakes, but to be all about, I'll make less mistakes. It's not my best circuit. Hungary's great. As he said, it's where I became a Formula One driver, which was a nice phrase. Sorry, Popp just cherry. It's indeed. No, well. A less nice phrase. And yeah, he was sort of just hopeful and vibrant. And I thought, this is, he's basically done a lot of work. I reckon on how he sees himself and how he's doing. He's done a lot of work, I think, on how he should react. He's seen other people and how they react. And he's what he's done is he's tried to find his own way to react. How does Lando Norris respond in a healthy way to not succeeding? And how he naturally deals with that is go, I'll get him next time. It's great. It's going to be great. Yeah. And he's realized. And I think actually that, because do you think he's, who was the lead driver between Nico and Hamilton in 2016 or 2015? I mean, that's what the big fallout was, wasn't it? That's what that crash was. Yeah. I mean, it was Lewis. Yeah. But Nico thought it wasn't. No, no, no, Nico more than any other driver. He proved them wrong, didn't he? Because he beat Lewis Hamilton in an equal machinery. Yeah. And then did the coolest thing he could possibly do and go, I'm out. At the time, you said that was a pussy move. Yeah, but I've changed my mind. We grow as people. I wouldn't use that word anymore, either. Well, I'm not sure if you've even did use that word. I've used it. I've not grown. Anyway, that's it for this week. We'll be back on Friday for the Patreon episode three pounds a month, which you can join now. And we will see you after the Hungarian Grand Prix sponsored, I think, by Heineken. I'm Josh Weller. Do you want to do some predictions for the Hungarian Grand Prix? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Who do you think's going to, where do you think Strolls going to finish? 12th. Okay. So, yeah, join us for that. I'll be with you for that. We'll have a great time. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm Alfie Brown. And I am Josh Weller. And this was the off-menu podcast. Thank you.