The Bedraggled Boyfriend

All right, all right, cut the music. Welcome back, slurs. I am Adam Olanian. And I am Dolores Huerta, and this is The Read. Thank you for joining us. It is. Beyonce-approved podcast and pioneer duo. Well, girls, gonna start this one right off by saying I just got back into town here in L.A. about an hour ago. I walked in the crib about 20 minutes ago. I think I got maybe an hour of sleep, so I'm fucking delirious. But it's all been worth it because I got to go on the road and do fun things with fun people and friends. That said, this might be a short one. So let's start things with Black Excellence. And this week's Black Excellence, I'm going to give over to a man named Mike Pondsmith. Mike Pondsmith, some of you might know. Some of you might not. Many of you probably don't. But many of you may have heard of a game series called Cyberpunk. Cyberpunk 2020 is a tabletop RPG from way back when. It is now a critically acclaimed video game and Netflix series. Cyberpunk Edgerunner Season 2 just dropped. It's all the rage. It's incredibly iconic. I mean, you got Keanu Reeves and Idris Elba in the video game. And I don't know. Many people know that the series was created by a big Black nerd. So shout out to Michael Allen Pondsmith for not only creating an amazing RPG series, but being a huge and consistent nerd about it that will talk endlessly about the lore and characters that he created with love and passion. And also make sure the adaptations exist in a continuity that is shared and makes sense. So shout out to you, Mike. Nice. And gamers worldwide. This week, let's do some, what do you call this shit? Hot tops. So where to begin? All right. Maybe you can just jump back into some things we talked about last week. It's official. NFL has posted that man, his Yankee hat. So he will be performing at the Super Bowl. Super Bowl. Thoughts? Well, last week. Well, no. Now that it's actually confirmed, because I was like, child, y'all, this is not a source. But now that it's real, I can say that I think I'm looking forward to it more than I thought I would have. Just because, you know, obviously, Jay-Z has a very long career. He has evolved as a performer. And most importantly, I feel like Jay-Z has a very long career. And I feel like Blue Ivy is going to hit that stage. And I'm really, I'm really looking forward to that. I saw somebody on TikTok refer to her as Blue Tovin because she was playing the piano in her daddy's show in, I think, L.A. But, yeah, I think it's a good chance that he and his wife and his eldest daughter all hit the stage. And I would really, really love to see that. So also, I did not realize the Super Bowl is on Valentine's Day. So it just I just think the options here. The options here for something really cute and iconic are plentiful. So, yeah, I'm looking forward to it. I didn't know that it was on Valentine's Day. So now I do think that his wife might jump on. Right, right. Because before I was like, yeah, Blue for sure. Blue performed. She played the piano in New York. She played the piano in L.A. Yeah. It would make sense that she would come on, especially because he's like, we can't keep her off stage. Right. She fucking loves you. She's not going anywhere. It is what it is. Yeah. So why not the biggest stage? Right. On the planet or whatever. It's the most watched televised program worldwide. Period. Yep. Yep. So that is something to look forward to. Maybe Memphis Bleak. Maybe. Never know. I saw some of the girls say maybe Kanye. And I'm like, y'all, some stuff you can't come back from. That's not happening. Certain things that we just. The stuff Kanye said about that man's children. That's not. Sorry. Sorry. And like, and like human beings, cultural groups. Right. Right. Kanye's done a lot, but. Yeah. I don't. I really don't see that one. However. Yeah. Jay-Z. I mean, Jay-Z and Beyonce. He has plenty of, plenty of hits. There's plenty of options here. Rihanna will probably come out. Yeah. Alicia Keys might scroll through with the piano. You never know. Oh, Lord, please. I love Empire State of Mind Part Two. No shade. I like Part Two, not Part One. And I can really do without Empire State of Mind, especially considering I don't even think the game is in New York. So we really don't have to do that song. Just a, just a suggestion. But I also saw that Roger Goodell had said, I guess, you know, years ago when they first started this partnership with Roc Nation, that he wanted Jay-Z to eventually do the halftime show. And obviously he didn't say, yes, immediately, but I guess he feels like now is the time. And of course, it's reinvigorating amongst the Hive, all of the rumors that that lady is going to put something out shortly after the Super Bowl, which would make sense. She's done it before. It's what most people do when they perform at the Super Bowl. They got something coming up, a tour, new music, whatever. All right. To capitalize off of that. So I am fully back in with the Lulu Hive and Conspiracy Theory Hive. I'm locked in. I'm like, I'm ready. Whatever, whatever, whatever is going to happen. I can't, like, I'm not even in the emotional space to do this with that lady at the moment. Just what you already know, I'm going to be in line. I go back and forth with whether I have the energy for this and I'm back up. I'm back up. I'm ready. I'm fully tapped into the conspiracy theorists on TikTok, who are like, mm-hmm. And so Act 3 is coming out after the Super Bowl. And so then we can plan for a tour that summer, which you never know, maybe. Anything's possible. You don't have a music video for any of the music that she's released in the past two albums. Nothing is promised. Well, we don't have to deal in realities, you know. We're creating our joy where we can because the midterms are happening. Let me stay out, y'all. Go away. You got to make fun where you can these days. Literally that. But, I mean, you're right. But, yeah, him doing the Super Bowl is what, it being confirmed, is what really got me re-energized because that's just a, you know, it's a giant fucking stage. And I feel like Blue being there and Beyoncé being there is just, who can say that the immediate family did the fucking Super Bowl? Like, it's just, it was too iconic to pass up, so. Would it be her third time performing at the Super Bowl? Who, Beyoncé? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think at least. But, I mean, the three of them together. Yeah. Yeah. And Rumi in the back with Sir Pissed. Pissed! Right. I rate. So, when are you coming back up there? I feel like, obviously, I should be here. Or maybe both the twins come out at the end. I don't know. I think they, you know. They have very wisely hidden Sir from the rest of us because people don't know how to fucking act. But, yeah. Either way, whatever they decide to do, I am, I'm looking forward to it now. Now that it's all for real. Yeah. So, apparently Jay-Z, not Jay-Z, 50 Cent is attempting to sue Tia Camp for the trolling. And, okay. Did she take it too far? Or is he the shit? No, it's the stuff that we discussed last night. Oh, I thought maybe she had done something else that would, like, cross the line. It was the talking shit online and making fun of him and the son and implying that the son might be on the spectrum or some shit like that. Yeah. So, 50 Cent has met with his lawyers and basically said, oh, you know. Ms. Camp shamelessly used the label on the spectrum as a pejorative slur. Hurled at a child to humiliate him and his family. And, so, they're going to court now for millions. And Tia Camp has since created a fake $6 million GoFundMe page to troll back. Because she's obviously not taking any of this seriously. So, it's not even a page. It's just, like, an ad. ai fly okay wow on her instagram of go hunt go find me help me reach my goal six million okay well you know all these people are 50 right entirely too old to be acting like this um and so i mean if it was anybody other than 50 cent i think i could understand wanting to sue but this is literally him getting a taste of his own medicine so it's kind of like why don't you just stop being a bitch um but also you know i'm no attorney and i don't i have no idea whether she said anything that is suable like i don't know if she said anything that you could really build a case off of so i don't care if she did i mean that it's it goes back to that for me as well because we're talking about 50 cent a terrible fucking person who is literally all the time getting what he puts out into the world you put this energy out into the world and now you are getting it back nobody feels sorry for you nobody has sympathy for you i feel sorry for you i feel for your child who has been dragged into this but you do the same kind of low down dirty bullshit so i feel for your child just for being your child right there is that there is that but pick one yeah we'll see if his attorney actually takes it to the point of filing paperwork because anybody can say anything right i do being a dickhead yeah and it's like girl you have a door dash ad where you're trolling people does he really first yes i haven't seen that i don't know i don't feel like uh door dash did much with it but i remember if it was during like the nba finals or i feel like it was during a game or something like that and it's him pulling a whole bunch of stuff out of a door dash delivery and each one is like a subtle reference to somebody he trolls right well okay door dash produced right logo all of that stuff on do you troll that much that's right a corporation was like let's make it into an advertisement that we will use to sell our our company yeah yeah that's how much you are known for being a dickhead online you actually got a real check from that notoriety so no i don't feel sorry for you um do you feel sorry for young carisha miami now that her song dear jt has hit the streets yeah and everyone gets to hear what i said was gonna happen which is she's gonna be like oh girl we used to run through the poking beans and now it's life is just so crazy now we're not talking and that's that's crazy we used to get our period at the same time period oh yeah she did say that too yeah i cried when you heard the song yeah oh wow wow wow i think it's because i'm from miami so i think that these children mean a little bit more yeah yeah and also it's just like yeah you here you go talking about how you miss your friend and this is a beautiful sample it just made me emotional oh um but then i heard this other song where she's basically saying she loved itty or something i was like okay i didn't hear that um i didn't hear the album honestly i only heard the song because tiktok and uh it's really bad it's really bad she's but she's never been a great rapper so i don't know why i was expecting something that was so bad it was good like spin that um but yeah i i was fixated on how terrible it sounded and how much i did not like the lyrics so yeah yeah it's not great yeah donald trump has uh hinted that nikki minaj could be the next press secretary press secretary so i want to die this is part of my read this whole thing um did you watch the little fake interview why would i ever do that no i had better things to do i prioritize try to prioritize things that will make me happy and smile and nothing about that is ever going to do that god bless everybody involved uh or adjacent okay yeah it's i mean we can talk about it now no it's for your read okay i mean it's it's that and did you see the campaign rally in michigan you didn't you just said you like to be happy and think about happy things right so we'll cover that later then all right if i say that see that lady face i just you you're a part of that now let's go right past it the same way that i would anything the fuck out yeah this is important and it will never be important if and if it involves her right so i you know yes but i'm i'm trying to i'm trying to not to say too much because it is really it's awful it's really bad drake's birthday uh party took place 40 years old the doll is now um and i've seen everything from him giving a sexy red ovo chain to him performing uh i want it that way in a sparkly blazer live with the backstreet boys on stage yeah wembley where is this where's this nigga why not why not i'm blue is this live on sunday i don't know where he is which the one where he's in his mama's frock or the one where he's in the leopard print coat and the okay so he's wearing a suit here i'm talking about him performing at his birthday party not when he came out dressed like it's autumn sunrise okay with the with the shawl or whatever right not when he came out ready for the pumpkin patch okay right okay and i don't know what leopard print shit you're talking about thank god you didn't see the leopard print with the red leather pants jesus why did he do that i don't know it's like he entering his batty era i guess but um oh this is horrible yeah yeah yeah all right now i gotta look at which one you talking about he's giving he's giving butch queen what i'm talking about is him just performing for his birthday he's just wearing a suit and the blazer the the jacket is is uh i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't okay sparkly so i'm thinking he must have he must have had multiple parties then because yeah it's been too many outfits that pop up when you try to search for the birthday fit but definitely the the christian girl autumn that that whole look with this camel shawl with the fringe that was definitely the number one i mean i would have guessed in this leopard print red leather pant um button down button down open with the chest with the gold jewel okay on the chest i would have guessed that this was a halloween costume where he was dressing as jerome from maria but i would and i'm not even trying to be funny he would need to know who jerome is well and i don't think he does but now i see what you're talking about with his uh glittery um like this is the best of the well this is the least it's just the normal wild right this is the most normal of the fit yeah yep he's just he's in his butch queen era and i'm i'm for it i hate the clothes but i i'm i'm into the confidence and the cut yeah you know just because kendrick lamar publicly embarrassed you for like two solid years doesn't mean you can't bounce back right does not mean you can't bounce back and have multiple birthday parties invite all the hoes you know people have mostly gotten over it you know or didn't really care that much in the first place so yeah you know they'll go out drink drink slicker have a well lives yes don't really give right right so i mean i heard that there were fucking hermes and chanel bags as party favors at the damn event so yeah i would have went to actually don't let me find out bitch i would have gone as well uh you're not taking your bag let me go to get that for sure i'm taking all that shit so but yeah this crumb hearts jacket is ugly as hell it is so fucking ugly and it was that chestnut shawl for me like are you finna go pray what is this you finna go get you a psl and you finna go ride in the back of the you finna be in the back of the hayride while the kids are picking apples and you just wrap it around yourself and think about how grateful you are to be alive oh drake happy birthday though yeah i don't have to look up the jacket on its own and it's still ugly the leopard print one or the the black gold glittery one leopard print okay chrome hearts uh jacket yeah i think it's ugly it could have absolutely been styled better but i on its own it's fucking ugly yeah well i don't disagree all right umbrella happy birthday to you or whatever and you want it that way i saw him perform with the backstreet boys and i was like of course like he's pulling out everybody he loved growing up like hell yeah i want the backstreet boys at my birthday party for sure i do not jodeci because who's that because who is that he don't even know what you're talking about casey and jojo he don't even know what that mean what you mean he don't know what you're talking about so for real he ain't never heard kids though but not drew hill he only knows cisco because the thong thong song hit the white suburbs hard let's be honest drake lived for incomplete and you're going to stop lying he did not yes he did incomplete in the shower and you are a liar today no i do you know she loves incomplete those are the two songs she loves incomplete she loves the thong song okay the thong song was his introduction to cisco and then he heard incomplete and was like i'm gonna sing okay i'm gonna be a singer i'm gonna let you we're not gonna i'm gonna let you baby you can have it baby i mean let's just i just don't he's dressed like the unleash the dragon cover for his birthday but with an ugly jacket instead you have to stop lying okay yeah it's me he loves incomplete uh i've reached i was mad jojo siwa didn't come out before you know she's not gay no more yeah she'd be she'd be doing all kind of stuff at all i don't know i mean and sexuality is fluid and on a spectrum and exactly i really don't care what you do who you like none of that jojo siwa has never been none of my business but i did hear that and i think i only heard it because she was saying something probably negative or derogatory about gays or something like that like that's really the only time that people be having an issue with you girl don't nobody need you to pledge allegiance to pussy for all your life but don't start acting like it's something wrong with the rest of us that's really the only time we have an issue i honestly saw this picture where her man was just like oh okay bisexual queen young and discovering and i was hoping it was gonna just be that but of course not speaking of bisexual queens did you see cynthia arrivo at snl uk i did i'm sorry that nollywood nigerian wicked sketch is one of the top 10 funniest things i've ever seen on snl period i wish i got it oh you don't you didn't you never seen understood why oh i was about to say you've never been getting your hair braided in the nigerian shops and the girls have nollywood on but okay only once all right i was cracking up oh my god i literally was gonna post it on like threads and say so niger family what uh how do you feel about oh they adore it i don't understand a lot of the references they adore it it's but the youtube comments they were going out it's perfect it is a perfect nollywood parody down to the cameraman being visible in the mirror but it is just i have to watch it again when she slapped elf the girl playing elphaba and some of the makeup came off oh anyway it's so fun it's it's yeah it's funny because it's bad yes and nollywood is bad nollywood is you know cheesy kind of almost campy but i don't know that they really intended to be that yeah like yes that kind of oh because i kind of like i don't want to say garish or cheaply made or poorly done but it's that kind of like cheap imitation of american films that sort of thing like that's what a lot of nollywood movies give is that same kind of vibe and look and feel to it did you see how it looked kind of like i thought it just looked like an snl okay well i i think or like it kind of gave me when they do drag race challenges yes yes that's that's what i mean by a lot of times nollywood films feel like campy although i'm not sure if they intended to be that or if they're just so cheesy that they come across that way but had you spent months of your life in the in the hair braiding shop with nigerian girls watching that then maybe it would have been funnier to you i screamed i thought that shit was perfect so so funny okay i mean when you're watching that you're like oh my god i'm like oh i have to watch it again now when they got to the emerald city and she said he lives in the emerald white emerald city you know like the nigerian flag with the green white and green that's kind see i didn't even get that was i slap sleep i watched this full thing and i was like i know that i'm just not understanding reference yeah yeah i know that that's what's happening yeah bummer for me bummer for you genuinely because it is so good yeah it's got a really big uh really big response and i feel like it's the the first thing from snl uk which is still relatively new but i heard like a huge amount of people talking yeah it's probably their best sketch yet yeah it's really good what else do we have so i saw this when i touched down at lax when i posted on his instagram story we'll get to that because i mean the jail really had to they gotta crack down on these things they have to i forgot he was locked up easily getting onto their ipad or whatever lord apparently there have been rumors that he knocked up a whole bunch of women before he got uh sent back to jail or whatever mm-hmm and so on his instagram story it says uh maine i don't got no baby momas no babies on the way none of that and don't want none or none to do with you garbage assholes what i love about this is that no babies on the way none of that n-u-n none of that and don't want n-o-n-e or n-u-n to do with you so like what happened what happened why did you spell it correctly that once and then never again i think because the i phone when you put the exclamation and you just keep going i think the iphone was like girl autocorrect this has nothing to do with citrus act it has nothing to do with collicism like so and he just said i can tell you're illiterate so i'm gonna fix this because this is not this doesn't go in this context yeah okay that makes but why didn't it do that to garbage instead of garbage i like i he had to intentionally have gone back and taken the r off to be like well that's how my accent sounds but like you don't have to spell it that way well that's that's much worse i i almost want to believe that well no because if autocorrect fixed none it would have fixed garbage okay oh i don't want to believe that but i think you're right but also how does he with all due respect how do you know that how do you know you don't have no kids on the way you didn't fuck nobody before you got locked up there's something wrong with him and i think that i think it's like he doesn't sound like he's been very good at taking accountability or telling the truth um but i have seen that um someone said he did already mention that he was having a kid and that his family was at the baby shower oh so what and i don't know how much a difference it's going to make since you'll likely be in prison until this kid gets you know finished a driver's license bare minimum right so this baby will never know you probably outside of a dna test if it exists but it just seems probably still raise them to be and call them like little poo oh yeah we'll stay out the streets oh yeah it's gonna be like sierra naming that child future they we finna get poo deonte la shiesty adams or whatever and yeah and that's and that's fine you know i'm gonna wish that baby the best d i dash o n t accented e oh yeah oh yeah for sure for sure and that won't be that baby's fault you know so we won't we won't hold that we won't hold that against them but unless you simply did not have sex at all which sounds i mean i don't know i don't know i don't want to say i don't believe you before going to jail for the rest of your life right of course right and of course you did not use a condom right but even if you did there's a possibility she got pregnant so again unless you simply didn't have sex or didn't have sex with any cisgender women unless that's the case then you have no idea whether you have a baby on the way nigga this is very confident uh this is a very confident statement you put on your instagram remember when you said remember you said that you felt like he had to go back to jail because he oh right right he missed somebody in there because what is you doing damn okay maybe that's he's speaking with the full confidence of somebody who has only been in butts he said it ain't no way i've been in nothing but dookie shoots well he was like i can't have my bitch when i get back in here talking about oh so that's how you feel you know what i'm saying like i don't have no kids like right you know it's me and you i can't be creating jealousy with my forever family i can't have my man think i'm out here disrespecting him like that like nothing can come between me the love of my life not even my children he's not bait him hoses lying i don't even fuck fish yeah okay girl um is this the last one i'm forgetting oh girl i'll talk about boosie some other time like the gift we don't want that keeps on giving okay well that's i mean it's up to you but i don't even know what he did so chris brown got a slap on the wrist for this oh yeah london case where he uh hit a bouncer in the head with a bottle he was given uh like eight he was sentenced to eight months in prison but then suspended for the suspended 12 so basically it's like he didn't like he they like he served the time i was about to say is that like a four month credit towards his next arrest or it's like you automatically get four months off for the next conviction probably not though probably not police department uh released the video of him hitting this man like the second that this shit wrapped up in the court right did you see it no i only heard about him getting away with it and was like let me just click on and look at something else if you look at the video you'll go so he got away with this right but of course he does anyway um it's black and white and it's a bit grainy at first but there are multiple angles of people in this club uh seemingly just milling around minding a business and chris brown agitated out of nowhere with a bottle in his hand and he's strikes this man across the head with it. Jesus, God. And then, of course, Oh, yeah. always how this nigga shit go. I just found it. The entourage starts jumping in. Yeah. Oh, he blatantly did this. Like, without question. No discretion involved. All up in the camera. Not in the shadows. Right. Right in the middle of the club surrounded by people. Yeah, it's completely him. Hit this man in the head with a bottle. And then jumped him. Twice, yeah. Smacked that nigga hard. Wow. Okay. Gave a thumbs up after he left court. Girl, okay. Go ahead. I don't even know. No, I mean, so what do Boosie have to do with this? Oh, no, I skipped Boosie. Oh, I was about to say. Okay, I thought you meant Boosie went live and was like, thank you, Chris Brown, for standing up for all the real niggas. Boosie has a streaming network. He's making a movie that is, is a hoodwrapped version of another movie. And his son just got arrested for, what is it, aggravated battery-armed robbery, possession with the intent to distribute drugs and a couple other things. And I'm like, girl, how are you over here dancing in front of the White House and starting networks and doing all this other shit? Your son over here selling drugs? Oh, nigga. Why, why should, why? Is this the same son that he set up to be sexually assaulted by some strippers when he was like 12? I don't know which sons he has. I mean. I have no idea. I just, I mean, I feel for that baby because his daddy is Boosie, but we all have to break free of our parents' chains. As far as Fistifer goes, I'm not surprised. It's very rare that he's held, like, genuinely accountable for his bullshit. I did just see the surveillance video, so it's even more confusing that he got off because it's like, this is just so blatant. It's just, it's right there. So, I saw that. Nothing about it seems like self-defense. Right. Nothing about it seems. At all. At all. I don't understand. His back is turned to him. He. So, this says he pleaded guilty to a fray, which I guess is just. Hijinks and tiddlywinks? I don't know. But the serious charges were dropped and the. The suspended for 12 months things means that he avoids jail time unless he commits another offense in the next 12 months. So. Right. So, maybe he will go to jail, actually, because. And that's what. Right. At the same time. That's when I seen a whole bunch of birdholes commenting, ooh, God, he better just stay inside and keep it cute for the next 12 months because I already got my outfit ready for the concert. I bought my tickets and seat for the concert, so he better just. Ooh, I. He need to stay. He need to stay out of trouble for the next 12 months, y'all. Not, he better get a medicated cocktail. Right. Not, he better get some dialectical behavior there. Right. Not, he should seek Christ and the blood. He should just stay out of trouble until I get to see him again. Yeah, yeah. Because they can't. These bitches are crazy. They are. They can't waste their Sheen and Timu outfits, though. You have to understand. These bitches, they need to feel like there is even the smallest chance that Chris Brown will see them and pull them on stage and give them the fantasy they've been dreaming about since they were, like, eight years old. But. Um. He's so fine, the judge probably just let him go. These bitches are stupid. All right. And I'm sorry. I'm just gonna say. No, they aren't. They aren't. You're absolutely right. And we. And the thing. The thing about it that just really flips and dices me up, right? Is when you talk about, like, when anybody mentions his history of violence and why it isn't just some, like, oh, it happened so long ago. No, this happened two, three years ago. Oh, well, we just. Think about this, right? Right, right, right. From the sense. How must you. Approach your temper, rage, and your view of violence if you know that you have the physical advantage over this person? Oh, you lanky. They're not looking at you. And. You know that the minute you swing, niggas with you are also going to swing. Right. Because that's how that entourage shit goes. Right. You handle my work. I get you some pussy and some drugs. Yep. That's that. So you already know, that you're going to pack this man out. Why hit him with a bottle? So do you feel like your lens for violence has to be so particular. So when the girls are like, ugh, it was so long ago, I'm like, I really pray for who you keep around you, babes. Because it seems like all they gotta do is be fine to you. Well, I was about to say, they, and I mean half the time, they don't even have to be that. The girls want men so fucking bad that they will scrape the bottom of the barrel and they're like, put it in Burberry and take it home. So I'm really more confused as to how the judge decided that Chris didn't deserve. So fine. Like, I hate this fucking planet. Sorry. That whole, yeah, I know, I'm on tour right now. That's like a real job. I got a hell of kids. I gotta pay child support. That must be it. Because I don't understand. I don't understand how he got away with this. Maybe it's his first offense in the UK. So they're like, okay. It is. Oh, well, all right. So nevermind then. I'm grasping for reasons because I don't understand how you got away with this yet again. But must be nice to be Chris. It really must. Listen, I'm not, I don't step out into the village square to be like, we talk about it here in Hot Topics when there's something to talk about. And I'm like, baby, if you don't, you want to put on your Timu slippers and punch it down to the breezy bowl or whatever, I'm not going to argue with you. Not at all. When somebody makes an excellent, valid and true point about his history of violence, about his mentality, and you're like, oh, leave us. Here you go. Please. Right. Because at this point, you're just lying. Before it was your opinion and it was your own bird desires. And I let you bitches have that. But when you say, oh, it was so long ago. Y'all still holding that over his head. This nigga fucks up every six months. It's never that long ago. You never have to look that far back to find Chris Brown being a menace. There's not like a huge gap in time where it's like, oh, man. Yeah. Just be glad you still get to go see Bumps and Bruises. Just be glad for that. Kirk Franklin has a song with Chlorella in the video. All right. That's it for the Hot Tops. All right. I'm going to just eat this microphone. Yeah. Why did I? Okay. Well, okay. All right. I mean, this actually tracks. It 100% tracks for Kirk Franklin. I'm not sure what Glo was thinking, but I'm excited. Oh, God bless her. I was fully done. I was ready to, I was ready to kick. No, we're wrapping up. And that's the end of the Hot Tops. What are we supposed to do with that? You're right. No, you're absolutely right. Amen. Okay, folks, we're back. And it's time for listener letters. And at the same time, I'm like, if he would have just did the Afro puff shit that he'd be doing with this outfit, it would have fully been Romy Rome. And he could have just leaned into that instead of being, okay, nevermind. He don't know who that is. So he not going to do that. All right. Yes. It's time for our listener letters. If you have a question for us, please send us an email. Ask to read at gmail.com. We may read them aloud on the show. Now, last week I said we had two Sinclairs and we did one of them. So let's do the second one now. This Sinclair says, hey, Kid Fury and Crystal, do y'all remember that living single episode when Sinclair won a free trip to the Bahamas and had to choose between taking Khadija or Overton? You know we do. As you may remember, Sinclair ended up taking Overton. And I remember thinking, girl, what? Khadija is your family. She got you a job, moved you in. Shouldn't she be the easy choice? I understood that Overton was Sinclair's man, but Khadija had been there for her. So I'm like, why you wouldn't choose your cousin? Well, I guess I shouldn't have judged because now I'm in a similar boat. I was about to say this. You was about to drag. You're dragging Sinclair for something that happened four years ago. I was not. Okay. My boyfriend, who I've been with for a year, shares a birthday with one of my best friends that I've known for 16 years. When I found out they had the same birthday, I was crushed. I really like to show up for my friends' birthdays. And in the past, I've taken her out to dinner, the strip club, paint sips, etc. When I learned they had the same birthday, I told my best friend and she said, I don't like that shit at all. I don't like to share. LOL. Okay. On the other hand, my boyfriend is not tripping off of it because he doesn't really celebrate his birthday. He's so low-key about it that when we were dating last year, I had to find out from someone else that it was his birthday. And I scrambled to send him a digital card since we live in different cities. And he was like, oh, this is the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me. A digital card? I am old. Since we've been in a relationship, I've noticed that he doesn't make a big deal about himself and he doesn't like to ask for things. But if I do something nice for him, he has this toddler-like joy. Like I said, we're in a long-distance relationship, so we only see each other every other month. My birthday just passed and he went all out for me. I said I wanted to go to two concerts and he made them both happen. I wanted to go play in nature. We did that, too. And he took me shopping. We spent the entire weekend together and had so much fun. Recently, I was on the phone with my best friend planning when we were going to see each other next. With the way life and the economy is going, it's looking like our next opportunity would be near her birthday since we also live a few states away from each other. She was saying that she really just wants to go to a nice dinner and get dressed up and have girl time. And then she hit me with the, but if you want to hang out with your boyfriend, I get that. I told her that I haven't decided yet, but I hated hearing the melancholy in her voice. This is a big birthday year for her. She finally got her career job and is stepping into a new season of her life. On the other hand, I kind of feel like my boyfriend is having a rough time with some things at work. And even though he wouldn't ask, he would love it if I were there with him. So, yeah, this really sucks. Do y'all have any thoughts on how I should handle the situation? Thanks, Sinclair. Sinclair, go have girl time with your best friend. Thank you. Thank you. What are you talking about? Thank you. What? Why would you choose otherwise? So, you've been friends with this person for 16 years. You just got this nigga. We sank. Petty as it is, your friend was like, I don't like this. I don't like you. I don't want to share. Right? Probably playful, but still true. And even said, like, if you want to share, if you want to do it with your boyfriend, I understand, although obviously she want to do it with you. Why would you pick the boyfriend if the boyfriend is not even pressed, is not open about doing anything special? You would then be choosing to do something special for him because you want to do something special for him. And I, as your friend, would feel some type of way. I, yes, I think you should go with the person who is actually saying that they want you there. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm going to add this on, Sinclair. It's too many of you girls, mostly, doing wife shit for your boyfriends. Yeah. Y'all have been together for a year. I get that you care about him. He sounds like a nice guy. However, if he don't be tripping off his birthday and he don't really care, but you know that when you show up and do nice things for him, he lights up. You know what? Then you can do that at any time, really. Then you can do that whenever. The whole, I see this a lot with women where they kind of want to uncover why a man don't celebrate his birthday and try to needle him into celebrating himself. And I know you don't really care, but I'm going to come do this, this, this. And you, I just don't think you have to put that sort of energy and effort into it. Especially when he don't even, he don't even care. Like, or at least he's saying he don't care, but he is, he's not giving you nothing that says my birthday is a priority to me and it really matters that my girlfriend is there. Meanwhile, your best friend, you've known for 16 years. Y'all have been best friends for nine years. Regardless, this person you have known way longer than your man is openly saying, I would love to have a fancy dinner and girl time with you. This is a big birthday for her. She's been going through a lot. Like she's, why wouldn't you go be with the person who's outright saying, I want you here for my birthday? Why wouldn't you? I don't, yeah. Cause you know, your man will like it. Okay. Who cares what your man will like? He hasn't even said it. He can't even say it. And yet you willing to throw your best friend's birthday to the side for a nigga who can't even say he wants you there. This is, this is, this is. Oh my God, bro. A pandemic. This is something. Something has to be done because I think maybe it's because Trina is so baked into my, like my genetic makeup or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That I just don't believe in, in going out of my way or doing nice things for men. So, especially if they're not asking for it, like why would I elect to do that? If you did say, Hey, I want to go to the beach and, and have lunch and kiss, kiss for, you know, for my birthday and my homie of 15, 20 years was like, I want to go to a cheesecake factory. You better believe I'm getting sliders and cheesecake. Right. Right. Like I, there's no question. Right. And you are going to deal. You're going to deal because like Crystal said, we can do fun things all of the time. Right. This is the home doll's birthday. I'm going to pick. You want to come get slideys and cheesecakes? No, because it's her birthday and she wants a great night. Exactly. So you won't be there for slideys and cheesecake. You're going to have to hang out another time. And I don't, this isn't necessarily the case for your men. So take this with a grain of salt. Well, a lot of times when you come across these men who are like, Oh, I don't care about my birthday. Oh, it's whatever, blah, blah. Or you send him a digital card. And he said, ain't nobody ever did nothing this nice for me before. A lot of the times, the longer you stay with that. Man, the more you're going to understand why ain't nobody ever did nothing for him for his birthday. Well, it's like, what happens? What do you, you must be too young for Trina to have raised you. But Sinclair, I, you have got to go see your friend. I was wondering age when she didn't say that the homie was going, I don't like this. It was giving younger. Yeah. Yeah. It's giving. Um, yeah, for sure. But, um, yeah, I, I don't, you did not say anything in this letter that gives me reason. Nope. Nothing that gives you reason to choose anybody, but your friend here. In fact, if I chose my friend and then my nigga felt some type of way about it afterwards, I'd leave him. Yeah. Because if you cared that much, you should have spoke the fuck up. Word. If you wanted me there, you should have said something. And even then, even then. I was going to choose. I might have to be. I don't know what to tell you. But expecting me to read your mind and anticipate what you really want, even though you won't open up your fucking mouth and say it, and then having an attitude with me because I went with the person who opened up their mouth and said, Hey, Sinclair, I want you here. No, that's a massive red flag. So we're dancing around like what it's hypothetical. Right, right. Because in truth, it's not like this nigga really won't even give a fuck that you go down, dress nice and have a girl's night out with your friend of 16 years. It does sound like he's going to give a shit. No, it's Sinclair who's like, but when I do nice things for him, he lights up and has this. Who gives a fuck? Like. Because I have mama you know what Sinclair the other thing is is that you and your bestie are also long distance it's not like you get to hang out with her every fucking weekend right so it's really no reason to choose this man over her I don't know one I haven't heard shit yet I understand that you like to see him happy but it's just there's when you write it out the pros and cons on each side like I just think your bestie clears in every single category so everyone I would be doing that yeah I'm worried that you felt inclined to ask us for advice on there I'm telling you it's because a lot of women see that in a man and they're like oh well I I want to show you that you're worth a big effort I want to show you that you're you're worthy of celebrating for yourself for your yourself for your birthday and again I'm not saying he don't deserve that I don't know neither one of y'all but I'm saying objectively when I look at the length of the relationships you have and how much time you get to spend with both of them and and who has explicitly said they want you there versus who hasn't you I really think you gotta go with your best like I hope that you're hearing this yeah and that this can echo past just this birthday yeah yeah and you can go sometimes like do I need to go out of my way and yeah yeah to do something to just like this nigga life right and I mean it sounds like that's not entirely inappropriate at times he made everything happen that of course yes but again the things you wanted for your birthday you expressed you wanted for your birthday and he made them happen if you had said oh I don't really give a shit blah blah blah and his friends invited him to play call of duty that same night it's a great chance he wouldn't have been there great new call of duty by the way see I didn't even know it was a new call of duty I just know niggas love you um but good luck Sinclair let us know what you decide to do I think I think we've all this coming out in a couple weeks too which one ocarina of time oh yes oh yes I did hear but wait but that's only on the switch too it is so again what's next parents out there if your children are bringing home terrible report cards please hit me up yeah if you would like to sell their switch too because they won't switch it off and do they do I mean I need them to because I physically cannot pay five hundred dollars for this I cannot do it like you will this will happen you know how many yeah yeah so just just hit me up please uh parents who are looking to punish their children all right yeah our next letter this is also about a boyfriend uh comes from Roxanne who says hey Crystal and Kifiri I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and it was going well until I had emergency surgery I'm an only child and my mom has passed away so my boyfriend stepped up to take care of me I was staying at his home so that I wouldn't be alone and this is when I learned that he only showers two or three times a month you know what okay to supplement for not showering he takes a few bird baths every day but what the fuck I brought I brought this to his attention and he does not think it's a big deal which caused us to argue I brought it up in front of friends hoping that public shaming would make him see that this isn't normal okay but my friends were too shocked to say anything I mean me imagine me over my fucking chicken dippers telling me you just told me that you're fucking chicken dippers my fucking boyfriend's skin is flaking off into my food what did you think I was going ma'am ma'am I don't need these cheeseburger sliders you can just go ahead and take that matter of fact just clear the clear the check for me I don't need I don't need anything I've talked to my friends and I'm receiving mixed advice some say to break up with him others say find out why he doesn't shower more often and others say that I just need to remind him to shower I want to call his mom and dad and tell him that I'm not going to shower and ask why her son doesn't wash his ass there we go I'm horrified because before prior to this we have been talking about marriage because we're in our 40s I was wondering but if but if he doesn't see why he needs to shower daily I will have no choice but to leave should I take the time to get to the root of this problem or just walk away thanks Roxanne Roxanne I'm gonna talk to you that I just did Sinclair why for what for they have been talking about marriage this is somebody now I will say this she's a presumably straight woman in her 40s she found a man that she can tolerate enough to consider marrying that's a big deal who stepped up to look after her right right and he had his own home that's a big it sounds like the issue is that pig pen feels as though he can maneuver around the residence just scaly oh my god musted and crusted I refuse I refuse get down to the root of why I mean is your boyfriend is he not you can put your therapist hat on don't do that don't do that uh I'm guessing your boyfriend is not black that girl that was my other question because there's no way there's no way there's I mean I I'm having a hard time picturing a man of color doing this but I will a nigga but I mean especially especially a black man but I will say this y'all been dating for a year you never once noticed like dingleberries his dick never smelled funny balls never smelled funny like no for real did he never stink because no but that's the thing if you were if you were if you were if you were if you were I'm imagining that he kept his hygiene up to the point where it took you a year to notice that he don't bathe every day so maybe he's not walking around you know filthy does a pet bath because he does whole baths but if you're gonna take two or three whole baths every day you might as well get your big ass in the fucking shower why not just get in the shower and take care of all of it one big shower or two depending on where you live every day as opposed to three whole baths is equal to one big bath oh bird bath sorry I guess they don't call them whole baths that's what we call I call it pet bath okay whatever yeah I so I'm assuming he doesn't actually stink and he's been able to keep it up himself up but she didn't say that he stinks right she just found out she found out because she moved in so he could take care of her and then she was like oh I'm not hearing the water running he's like yeah I don't do that wow she's like two to three times a month a shower two to three times a month but he takes two or three bird baths every day yeah no he has to speak to someone who does that he needs to talk to the lady you need to okay no I don't I mean again if he's if he's white then I understand because I think culturally they really don't care about that yeah um but are the bottom of his feet dirty like how do you know if he's white or if he's have you just never noticed maybe you never noticed but um I would not ask his mama why he don't bathe because he's in his fucking 40s at this point it's right it's too late to be asking his mama um the friends who say you know you need to remind him to shower you're not his fucking mama he's not 12 and honestly his mama would probably be like I've been trying to tell this nigga to watch his ass since he got here so I told him he would never have a girlfriend if he didn't shower and then you popped up so I said let me let me shut my fat ass sounds like your fault bitch like I don't know what's um but I I agree that I don't think I could be in a relationship with somebody who thought it was acceptable to shower three times a month that's less than once a week in no way I can't once I know that about you I'm going to be picturing the sheer billions of germs creeping all over you at all hours I'm going to be picturing the sheer billions of germs creeping all over you at all hours getting in my sheet hug oh my god you're oh my god under the oh god the sheet oh the sheet oh the amount of the amount of might and dead skin and oh does he exercise does he work out and and still do hobas because I don't understand when I come home from the gym I have to get in the shower there's no way if I don't shower at the gym I have to shower at all so this yeah non-negotiable he job or something I don't it works out and then does a bird no that's not acceptable that's not acceptable you can't but then you there's no way that you don't stink well if you if you're doing pits butt and genitals then maybe you don't I mean he's taking three of them every day so maybe this has to be a white man there's no yeah and I need you to update us with this person's race And I don't care, I'm so serious. Tell us because you knew we would be like, if you don't get this cracker out of your wife. I think she knew off rip that it would have been like, well, what were you thinking, sis? Sister, sister. Doesn't see a big deal about it either. Right, right. Come on. This is a white man. So here's the thing, sir. If you don't see the big deal, but it's a big deal to me, are you willing to bathe every day to make me happy? Because it matters a lot to me and my culture. So are you willing? I almost said every other day, but don't give him that. Don't give him that. Please don't give him that. It matters a lot to me. It doesn't matter to you. So are you willing to do it for the sake of fitting in with my culture? I think it probably also matters to the first few layers of your skin. Bitch. Like. Lord. Hey. And you in his crib. The amount of nigga dust just floating around. The way I would be using fucking the fucking Clorox fabric spray that it doesn't just deodorize. It fucking kills the germs and shit on your fabric. The whole house would be fumigated by the time I was done. But I think because it's not a big deal to him, I would ask him if he's willing to do that for me. And if he says, no. At that point, I do have to leave at that point. I do because we're incompatible. And it's just a shame that it took me a year to find this out. But thank God you found out before y'all moved in together or got married or had children. Imagine. And it's a shame that it has to end over you refusing. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Especially if he seems to be checking all these other boxes or doing well. But it's like. I don't know. I don't shower every day. I'd shower two or three times in four weeks. I could see somebody who doesn't ever go outside. And I mean, doesn't ever go outside, not to walk the dog, not to get the mail, nothing. I could see them saying, yeah, I shower every other day because I am completely immobile or not even a mobile, but I just do nothing. I sit at this computer all day. I work from home and I just don't. I could, I could maybe see that. Maybe. But that is like. That's not how the human body works. It's not. But everybody. Everybody don't stink. And this is why I'm saying perhaps he is doing a good enough job with the three bird baths that he legit don't stink. Like you would have noticed a dirty dick or something by now. Well, but she's not licking his arm. You know, she not. She didn't. She had no way of knowing. He washes hair. White people have to wash their hair. Maybe he's not white. Maybe he's bald. Is he always trying to make sense of it? Oh no, he can't be white. That's such a good point. Because if he was white with hair, you would have noticed his filthy ass hair because he, oh, he's black. Oh, he's black and he doesn't think. He could be bald. He could. He could have very short, short, short hair. Maybe a white man with very short hair. They don't always have them little bangs and stuff. I guess not. I don't know what they call that haircut. With their little gel bangs to the side. Girl, I just got back from Alabama. Do you know how many of those I saw? All the white men. That's the haircut. Like every white man. Um, yeah. I think Crystal's right. I think I would say like, hey, we are incompatible because of this thing. Yeah. And it seems like it could be something that, you know, is adjusted so that this relationship can continue to thrive. Because I'm not asking you to build me a rocket ship or bunker to the end of the world which is in the air. I'm asking you to wash your own ass. Right. Ooh, girl. Imagine if his rags are white. Oh, no. His washcloth is to some people. Right. If they're all white or like. Does he even have them? Is he rinsing up at the sink with his hands? It's getting worse. It's getting worse. Does he like plop his dick down in the sink and wash it like that? Oh, God, I hate this. Um, yeah, if he, I think if he's not willing to start bathing more regularly, I would have to leave him. I don't care how compatible and how good things seemed that that you simply won't fit in with my culture and my way of life. I can't do it. No. Agreed. And if he's willing to take three whole baths a day, then maybe you could pitch it as this is more efficient. It's more efficient to just get in the shower once. As opposed to going to that sink three times a day to wash up. Like, just get in that bitch one good time per day. I'll never understand the refusal to wash, to shower, bathe, whatever. No, I know kids don't do it. Like kids like to fuss and fight about getting in the shower. Right. Kids don't want to floss. Kids don't want to go to bed. Kids don't want to eat vegetables. They don't want to brush their teeth. Right. Anything but drink juice and watch TV. Yes. And as adults, we have to understand that sometimes, we have to do things even though we don't want to. Even though we don't feel like it. Because the older you get. They prepping for that in your teens and shit, babe. They're supposed to. That's what high school and shit is about. This is our 40s, son. Oh, man. Good luck, Roxanne. I hope you don't have to lose your man, but if you do, it's understandable. What a way to go. Right. I just knew she was going to be like, it happened after the surgeon, you know, I lost my mother, and then something. And I was going to feel so bad. It's just this nigga don't want to take a shower. Yeah. The hair is such a good point. Now I don't know what race he is, because I feel like a white man would know he had to wash that nasty hair. Girl, do you? I mean, or even if he didn't know, you would have noticed his hair was nasty. Okay. It would have been greasy and probably stained if he only washed it two or three times a month. White people really have to. Unless he gets up in the morning like some white people and rinse it and put gel in it. It's the same all the time. The dry shampoo. I forgot about dry shampoo. All right. New poll. Do y'all think Roxanne Mann is white or black or something else? Right. I genuinely think he's white. I really think he's white. There's just too many. I can't call it no more. I have no idea. Roxanne, please, please update me. Please. Because if this is a black man, this is fascinating. Yeah. And I feel like we have to have that conversation. And I want to know more about it. Because I feel like a black man would have been too ashamed to not bathe. That's true, too. Even if he didn't bathe regularly, once you moved in to get help after your surgery, he would have started bathing every day just to not embarrass himself in front of you because he know a black woman would expect that out of him. Or not shame himself by saying, oh, girl, two to three times a month is tea for me and I don't see what's wrong with it. Like, a nigga's not going. What do you mean y'all argued about it? Oh, God. Argued? Argued. Okay. All right. This has to be a white man. Oh, my God, I have to know. Please let us know, Roxanne. We're desperate for more details. Or, like, one of three in the school. Mm-hmm. Maybe he's mixed. Maybe he's mixed. Raised by his white mama. Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah, I think we're. We're narrowing down the options here. All right. Okay, our last letter comes from Brianna who says, hey, y'all, I hope you're able to help me. I'm a 36-year-old black woman and I'm dealing with a dilemma with my half-sister, Tamara, who's 57, and one of her kids, Tasia, who's 21. Tamara also has a son who's 26 and she had a son who passed away tragically when he was 34. Tamara is somebody who has a big Miami personality. They're from South Florida. And she can talk your ear off and gets what she wants out of people by manipulating their emotions. Okay. She's been married twice, both times to men who have been in prison for scamming. Carisha. This is very Miami. This is very Miami. Over the years, Tamara has said and done malicious and destructive things to our mother and her own children. And when you bring it up to her, she somehow turns it around on you and makes herself the victim. She saves the worst things that she says to her daughter, Tasia, who is her youngest child. And Tasia is one of the most successful young people in our family. From education to athleticism and beyond, Tasia has been an excellent kid, yet somehow she receives the worst vitriol from her mother. Whether it's not cleaning up the way Tamara wants or Tasia not giving Tamara enough of her scholarship money. Tamara always paints Tasia out to be a terrible. Right. Tamara always paints Tasia out to be a terrible human who hates her mom. She has even accused Tasia of trying to do things to attract her ex-husband, who she moved into the house right after his 10-year prison stint shortly before she left for college. She's 50 what? 57. Anyway, Tamara visited Tasia at her college for her last homecoming. I was supposed to go, and in hindsight, I wish I did to create some sort of buffer between them, but I couldn't make it work. The moment Tamara got to the school, she was stressing Tasia out and trying to understand her life. insert herself into Tasia's plans with her little friends. Tasia even spent a lot of money on an event for homecoming that weekend, and Tamara used every manipulative tactic she could to keep Tasia from leaving the dorm without her. Tasia had to work during the homecoming game, so she asked her mom to go to one of the food vendors up the hill to bring her something to eat. This gave Tamara an attitude, and she made Tasia out to be a problem for asking her to go buy some food, even though this girl had been working in the sun for hours, letting people into the stadium for the game. The straw that broke the camel's back for me was the fact that Tasia told me that her mother broke down crying in the middle of everybody, saying that it's bad enough she lost one child, and now the other one treats her like shit for asking for food. To use my dead nephew against my niece in such a disgusting way has me wanting to pick up the phone and cuss her out from here to Timbuktu, and I need help to keep from doing that. Tasia does not want me to let Tamara know that she and I have been having these conversations because she feels like it would further harm their relationship as mother and daughter, which I agree with. Tamara claimed years ago that she had been in therapy, and if she did, I know she was in their line to them people because how is she still like this? I have wanted to have a family therapy session, but Tamara was not into it. Now I think I should have an intervention with her and invite a therapist in preparation for it, but I would love to know what your thoughts are, or if you have any other advice to resolve this. Please help. Thanks, Brianna. Wow. Your sister, sounds like an incredible piece of work. I don't know about interventions. Like, I can't suggest if and when, if and or when that is appropriate. But I will say that I would, I would be looking into taking some sort of action and surgery. I would be looking into taking some sort of action and surgery. Because you're not going to terrorize this girl, my niece, who ain't doing nothing to you, trying to embarrass her or make her feel bad for shit that is out of her control that she ain't do nothing to. Like, when it's obvious that you have an issue here, that has nothing to do with your kids, has nothing to do with me, and you have to address it. Like, again, I don't know if I would just bombard her with, uh, a therapist or something, because I don't know how that would go or whatever. But I would be like, like you said, I'd have definitely had her on the phone. Like, are you cool? Do I need to come over and see about you? Because what the fuck is going on? Oh, well, Brianna, I think my issue here is that your niece doesn't want you to get in a fight. Or doesn't want you to tell your sister that y'all have been having these conversations because it would further harm their relationship. And she's, so she's still at the point of wanting things to get better with her mom, as opposed to being like, my mama needs to quit acting like an entitled asshole who, like, treats me in a shitty way. She's not at that anger point yet with her mama that it sounds like she really deserves to be. And so you trying to have a family therapy intervention type thing and bringing a therapist into it, what exactly is going to happen there if Tasia's not willing to have any boundaries with her mama or put her foot down with her mama? Right. What, how, how can it really turn out? Yeah. If she didn't want to, if she didn't want to have, if, if, if the concern is that you can't have the conversation with Tamara, because if she didn't want to, if she didn't want to have it, it's going to hurt their relationship. How do you think Tamara is going to feel when y'all show up to an intervention with a therapist, a stranger bitch she don't know, talking about her relationship with her daughter that she's clearly defensive about? So I think I would just let my niece know, like, as much as you want to bitch about your mama, you can always do that with me. And if I'm around, I'ma stand up for you. I'ma insert myself in between the two of y'all, let my sister know. She's full of shit. But if you're not ready to confront her, you're not ready to put your foot down. You're not ready to tell your mama to kiss your ass and go to hell. Annie can't force that for you. Yeah. All I can do is back you up once you are ready and let you know you deserve better than this, especially because what do you mean you brought your fucking love after lockup nigga into this house and then accused me of trying to attract him? Bitch, don't nobody want your goddamn, your felon. You think I want my mama? Sloppy seconds ass felon when I'm a 21 year old student athlete going off to school and having myself a grand old time? Sickness. Right. It's something, it's something wrong with your sister. Um, I don't, I don't have no idea what that could be. It could be, you know, just regular everyday bullshit that people go through and you know, whatever kind of fucked up mentality she has because of that. It could be something much more serious, but what you can't do is force Tasia into doing something that she can't do. She has made it clear she's not ready to do like, she's not in that mind space of, you know, fuck my mama. And that makes sense at 21. I was not in that mind space about either one of my parents, like not saying we was cool or, you know, besties or nothing like that, but I definitely wouldn't have been ready to cut ties even with my dad who I hated. I still wasn't ready to cut him off. So yeah, I think all you can do is continue to be there for her and as much as you can like when she starts saying crazy shit to Tasia, getting up and being like, not too much on my knees now, bitch, because let's not talk about your two flop ass marriages to niggas who was in prison for scamming. And the fact that you ain't did shit with your life yet, you want to save all of your worst words for this little girl who is excelling and is determined to get out from underneath the pressure of being your child determined to succeed so that she don't have to deal with you no more. Counting down the days till graduation. So she don't have to be bothered with your trifecta. No more. Bitch, not too much. That's the great thing about being an auntie. Kids might be scared of your sister. I'm not scared of my fucking sister. I'm not scared of my fucking brother. I tell my nephew all the time. I mean, this is not nowhere near the same because my nephew loves his dad. But, you know, I'll say stuff, you know, talking a little shit or whatever. And Karen be like, I'm going to tell my dad, like, tell your damn daddy what he gonna do. You think he can whoop me? Right. I'm not scared of that nigga. And then he crack up. Oh, he just crack up. That's so funny to him that somebody would call his daddy a nigga. Tell that nigga. Ain't he sad? You can have what you want. Like, I'm not scared of your damn daddy. Bring your baddest bitch out. Your daddy ain't gonna die. I ain't scared of that nigga. What could he possibly do but complain? Please. Somebody who asked. We used to we used to regularly beat each other ass. You think I'm scared of him? Your struggle is not my struggle. OK, that's your daddy. You got a totally different perspective of that nigga. I ain't scared. It don't mean nothing to me. But yeah, I think just being the best auntie you can is probably the best move here. Yeah. And good luck, because I know that's hard to see and be around, but I get a lot of pleasure out of getting people together for Miss Treating Kids. So. Oh, yeah. I would consider it a joy to get my sister together. And you know what, bitch? I've been meaning to cuss your ass out because what you mean she was trying to entice your your fucking raggedy ass nigga that nobody else would even want in their home can't be within a hundred yards of an elementary school. You think not allowed to use computers, can't get a tech job, can't work at a bank, can't pass a background check. Don't have a passport ass nigga. You think I want you think this little girl was enticing that man as opposed to that nasty ass man making moves and making eyes at that little girl. What's wrong with you, weird bitch? Like, I would enjoy the opportunity to say something like that to somebody. So, yes. But good luck, Brianna. Let us know how it goes. We're going to wrap up the listener letters right there. Again, if you have a question for us, send us an email. Ask the read at Gmail dot com. We'll be right back. All right, slurs. We are back with the last segment of the show. It is called The Read. I will start. It is short. For those of you who have the privilege to transport or, yeah, to seek, to have, to receive transportation via aircraft. You know. It's a lot of it. It costs. Economy prices to fly with the luggage. So. You know, consider yourself privileged and quite blessed if you can get on an airplane period these days. That said. If you are on a flight that takes place. at the ass crack booty butt cheeks of Don. why do you need to be one person with the window up and why are you always sitting in front of me or next to me every time do you see how it's so fucking early that the moment that they close that door these niggas turn the light off because they know bitches want to go to sleep especially given this is a long ass flight and you're like nope gotta see the sunrise when i tell you i tapped this crack on his elbow so fast and said sir can you please close this window oh you closed it oh nice gave me the thumbs up nice and i said dark skin privilege i'm glad you asked because the one time i didn't close it it was because a bitch asked the flight attendant to ask me instead of asking me herself and i said just for that just for that i'm leaving it open but i do get the point like the lights are all off everybody is trying to go to sleep it's courteous to put it down yeah yeah that's it and the worst part about it is it was a situation where he it was like the spacing of it so he had like a window right next to him and then there was another window that was kind of between oh yeah like his seat in mine he opened both of them oh yeah he had double window privilege wow sounds like first class i could have reached right there and closed it myself yeah you could have but i said you know what god yeah you got me through quite a lot of traveling multiple cities work and such without a hitch i'm gonna go ahead and and i'm gonna stay on your side yeah i'm gonna serve you in this moment yep and i just politely tapped that speckled man and i was like oh my god and and i said excuse me can you please close this i've been trying to go to sleep and he just shut it and gave me a thumbs up that is so nice workout god but it's like what do you want what do you what do you think that this is you the one bitch why like what what do you think like what goes through your mind when you open that little shade and envelop the cap in with light just you yuck i my mama used to say the heavens declared the glory of god and some people just you know they like they never get over that that view and you know what it's like to be up in the air and that close to the you know stratosphere or whatever the fuck well die like what is it no no even even when i when this happened to me that one time i wasn't the only person with my window up so right so but it wasn't that early in the morning this sounds like it was probably the first flight out if the flight attendants cut all the damn lights i'm like bitch we're going night night i'm like the sun was yawning okay yeah yeah and she was just like whoop gotta see the the stratosphere or whatever yeah what kind of clouds are these ho you have two windows you keep that one shut this one both right so you really just wanted to light the bitch up not today not this morning do you know how fucking tired i was and yeah i love that you asked and he was just like yep no problem that's reasonable thank god thank god i was flying out of the south i'm a five foot eight dark-skinned nigga i said you know sometimes that works in my favor because there are still some of them that are afraid of me and i'm like oh my god i'm not afraid of you i'm not afraid of you i'm not afraid of you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but i think that person was just being considerate i think so that makes sense like damn i thought about how much i wanted to look out and see the world and i completely forgot that this plane is dark and everybody else probably sleepy as shit but how do you not remember as soon as you open the shade and it's not dark no more yeah yeah oh i'm gonna leave it at that um you know also naomi aki i think that's her name who's in the new clay face movie was doing a press junket and they were asked like um something that a casting director or something said about their looks that was negative or shocked them or whatever and naomi was like it wasn't a casting director but i used to do a lot of auditions with my natural hair out you know i don't braid it all of the time because i don't you know i try to keep it as healthy as possible it can damage your hair oh yeah yeah and she wasn't getting anything and i think she said either a manager agent someone on her team told her to wear wigs so that she could and she was like are you saying you want me to look mixed race and they said yes yeah and it's like just the unfortunate story of a lot of black actors especially women yeah so if you're one of those people who are stupid and and somehow bold enough to say that to somebody especially to a black woman this is a beautiful girl oh yeah she's gorgeous oh my god incredibly talented i was about to say what have i seen her in um um what is this i think uh i don't think i can name anything you've seen her and i've seen her in a bunch oh no not lady macbeth was it star no that doesn't make sense oh the whitney hillson movie that's what it was that's what it was oh no it was fucking blink twice she's the girl from oh that's right she is in that dumb ass movie oh no that shit was so disturbing oh my god that's one that i saw and i truly regretted seeing that movie i had no business seeing that that really fucked me up um it was so poorly written and directed it i just i'm too sensitive to that kind of content i had no business looking at that um but that's where i don't know why did it try to become a comedy in like right end of the second act what are we what are we doing here nothing's funny nothing's funny this has been horrific from start to finish and now you okay yeah i didn't understand the choices that uh kravitz zoe kravitz made with that movie but that's one i never needed to see again but yes that is where i know her from pretty pretty girl um there's two oh okay but yeah i'm not surprised they tried to get her to look mixed because it's probably easier to sell right black biracials than it is black so yeah what a mess well nothing's a bigger mess than them color contacts that nikki minaj put in her face to go campaign for a republic oh yes she's back to wearing the eyes um why maybe to look biracial um the gays have abandoned her so she's wearing a terrible wig um have they they must have because who did who who laid this unit oh you mean the gays in her life yeah yeah yeah yeah no not the ones online no no no okay although i'm seeing more and more like damn dear old nikki please come back tiktok's popping up but it's like let it go homosexuals they just want her to make music right not be right not be a better person right so she was in michigan campaigning alongside donald trump for the assholes running for republican office in michigan and so it starts with trump at the podium and he's saying how he doesn't like being overshadowed but this woman overshadows him all the time and he's angry about it now he's not being serious but he's like they they go crazy over her the queen of rap nikki minaj she's been with me since day one let's stop right there no the fuck she hasn't this trump shit is new oh yeah he called her the queen of rap i'm like she demanded that i'm she knows she did this is right before or right after he's like she's got a great ass i heard about that she's got a beautiful ass it's hard to miss stand up and she literally stands up and waves and a bird um but anyway he calls her the queen of rap brings her up on stage she tries to do a response with these white people who don't know what she's talking about so it's just really awkward she's like when i say donald you say trump no she didn't yes she did no she didn't she's like we love she no she literally did she's like we love trump no this it's something in the in the check it's something in the money being paid but why so why so bad why everything's so bad why everything's so everything's so bad like uh oh so yeah she's telling these crackers to make some noise michigan make some noise and then she goes on and on about how she's so honored to be working with trump because he represents resilience and people were getting ready to give up on life and be hopeless and ever since he's been back in office of him no she said she says since he's come back and obviously he's changed the energy of the country i'm like well an excellent point nicholas he actually has changed the energy of the country eggs went from three dollars a dozen to nine uh half the meat isn't safe to eat and then you can add the the fruits and vegetables onto that well gas price gas is seven eight damn dollars a fucking gallon due to this bullshit war that he started over in iran like he has indeed changed the energy of the country but she's like he's just giving us so much and a future to look forward to and a future for our kids and we want to take care of our kids we don't want sex changes for our kids and this is when the crowd just starts going crazy and it's like of course y'all really think that y'all are really still stuck on this idea that like your kids are going off to fifth grade and and coming home with a different set of genitals it doesn't happen that's not stop saying this but yeah on and on about you know this is a major state and in michigan we need y'all to elect these assholes who are running for office and we just want the best things for our kids we want you know these people to leave our kids alone and you know trump it's an honor to stand beside you and you know if you run again i'll support you again it's like i know you're not a citizen so maybe you don't know this but quite literally he is barred from being the president of the united states again that's in the constitution and again it's none of your business because you're not a citizen but i just thought you should know it's not yeah fucking happening so after that this this was bad enough okay the wig the eyes there's more i was over it but the idea of her being press secretary the new white house press secretary came up afterwards because if you remember there was a lot of white woman who looked like ivanka who was press secretary was for 72 hours revolving door grand opening grand closing on that white bitch who couldn't hack it that bitch said hello goodbye then they found out she had never passed the bar and you know lying about her credentials like everybody else in that fucking administration so then stephen chung who i don't i'm not sure what exactly he does let me see white house communications director chief stephen chung shared a video of himself oh yeah on air first one with nicky and he captioned it with ladies and gentlemen i think we may have found our new white house press secretary i saw that yes a lot of people saw that um and he's asking her these you know this is it's it's obviously not a real interview this is obviously some sort of like i don't want to say sketch or skit because that requires a lot of time and i don't want to say sketch or skit because that requires a lot of time and i don't want to say sketch or skit because that requires a lot of time requires like a script and an ability to do comedy right but i do think that the more they troll about it the more serious it may actually end up being and it's kind of like well why not have nicky minaj as press secretary like despite the fact that she don't know nothing about the job she's not an american that she's not a citizen despite all of that um you know why not because she couldn't possibly be worse at it than everybody else that y'all put into office um not saying it's likely to happen but the it's just this is where we are right now in the united states of america this is where we are where of course nicky minaj is completely going back on the criticism she had for donald trump years ago and the way she used to support the lgbtq community and the way she used to tell the barbs to you know stay in school and value education and you know um all of those things where she used to like if you she used to like do things for fans when they would show them her like their like grades or something or like their their diploma she'd send them stuff right of course somebody whose brother is a pedophile and whose husband is a convicted rapist would want to work with donald trump like i'm not i thought you're talking about somebody else oh no it's just this one like she met another person and we're like oh yeah because i mean it could be anybody in there right no it's it's just this one but like okay i i normally leave the doom and gloom and destruction to you but where's the meteor where is it where is it what do you mean we got a president who is commenting on men and women's asses during campaign events what do you mean this is the state of america sitting president and nobody has anything to say about it did you see obama i don't know what oh he was also at a campaign rally for democrats and he talked about trump being so fucking tacky and made the white house look like a what was a cheesecake factory in the middle east or something like that he was like all this gold bullshit he'd have put in the white house shit is tacky and ugly like how is it that donald trump is really the president and he's not the president and he's not the president and he's not the president and it's really bringing out nikki minaj with her horribly wig glued down way too fucking far swap me contacts in side part loop-de-loop horrible wig just how is this this is what we're doing this is really where we are the queen of rap our new press secretary like in the same breath not hyper hyperbole right just this is where we are nikki minaj is not the queen of rap nikki minaj has not rapped in years yeah i think we got i think you could make the argument for cardi or megan easily easily nikki minaj is not that i mean and they're putting out music cardi just did a tiny desk meg just put her freestyle fridays on streaming thank you my queen because let me tell you something thin ice it's finna be the queen of rap it's gonna be the queen of rap it's gonna be the queen of rap it's gonna be in my top five of the year i can tell you right now it is so good that bitch is wrapping her ass off and looks incredible and um is also still on the right side of history i remain convinced that nikki is doing this for uh money monetary reasons i don't even think it's for pardons because i'm not sure that trump can even do that as because i think these are state convictions as far as like the brother and husband are concerned i think she's getting a check from this party and they're helping her cover her fucking bills uh because she signed some terrible deals and that's where things are for her right now but wasn't the house up for uh her rumors about her yeah being because of that lawsuit because of her husband oh that man says yes there weren't even rumors that was just reports and i just want y'all every time you see nikki minaj have to trot her ass up and and turn tricks for donald trump let that serve as a reminder that she's doing this for her and she's doing this for her and she's doing this for her and she's doing this for her and she's doing this for her and she's doing this for her reminder of what could happen if you don't face your childhood demons head on and and attack them bitches at the root nikki minaj never dealt with the bullshit of her childhood she never dealt with the pain she was dealing with she never dealt with uh the overwhelming pressure of fame and fortune and all that she never handled her shit and now look where she is do you want to be in dollar 99 contact acting like a convicted rapist is the best thing that ever happened to this country or do you want to be able to sleep at night i mean contact i you when i watch the video of her at that podium talking about how trump has changed the energy of the country and made things so much better and is protecting the children mind you somebody who's in the epstein files mind you somebody who is convicted of hurting women somebody who to then act like this man is the protector of women and girls or children to act like this man has done good things for the country like it's it's nothing that could motivate you to do that other than a check because i know nikki minaj is not a stupid person i know she's not or at least she didn't used to be because this no she's not stupid you fully know what you're doing right you just don't care you just don't care you have completely sold out everything that you claimed to be about the values that you claim to have you have completely given all that away so that i don't know so that you can keep up looks so you can keep up appearances so everybody won't know how broke you really are because all the shit i mean i i at this point i have no reason to not think that cardi was telling the absolute truth when she dragged your ass about the debt you in and the fact that your man and his friends be running up whatever the fuck they want to on your mx i know you're not going to be able to do that i have no reason to not believe it yeah i was giving kendrick to drake like it really was everyone around you i know and i know it because everybody knows that it's not a well-kept secret bitch you got loose-lipped niggas around you they take your card and facetime me and be like ha ha guess where we going and then we all laugh at you behind your back you big dumb bird bitch nice i was disgusted with her anyway her appearing with trump you know i was gonna mention that i was gonna cuss her out anyway but to do it in them demon eyes on top of that that's really tough because you know how i feel about it you know how i feel about it like that's that's even worse that's even i need to find that meme that somebody made i don't know if you've seen it or so it was like when you see it we see niggas and contact lenses and it was like i think it was her in a bed she like looked over at the edge of the bed and it was her but with these big blue eyes like scary yeah like what do y'all know what i'm talking about please i know what you're talking about Because it's like a meerkat with bright blue eyes. Yes. Staring. Care Bears staring at niggas. Oh, and when I saw this shit for the first time, I was like, oh, this is Chris Lowell. It's, yeah, I. Fuck Nicki Minaj. Yeah. And that's, you know, that's universal at this point. Please don't let Nicki Minaj influence you in any. Please, please trust your actual lived experiences over what Nicki Minaj is telling you to believe. I'd like to believe that most of the Barbz. Are not going to vote. No, I was going to say they're not going to be so Nicki obsessed that they just vote for who she says she. Right. They vote. Right. But, yeah. Yeah, I think. The Trump administration is overestimating her influence among people, especially with regard to things that matter. This actually matters. You know, if it was about, you know, going back and forth with Cardi on Twitter or even about music, then maybe. But about politics. We're living in America right now. We look around and see the price of everything. We look around and see the rates of unemployment, the rates of homelessness, the number of people who are being evicted. Every day. The number of people working two, three jobs and still can't make ends meet. The number of people who ask themselves whether they going to eat or their kids going to eat that day. And you want us. You want to tell us that everything is bright and shiny rainbows out here, bitch. You. Don't piss on me and tell me it's raining. We see the shit storm. Girl, fuck you. Can you imagine? Never mind. He came in and changed the energy. Yeah, for the worse. Everybody is worse off except him. Yeah. That nigga has gotten even richer since he got back in office. Everybody else is suffering. Including you, big, big. Happy flight. And so I want to also make this about the midterms. Please, please, please. People with good sense. Make sure you are ready. It's too late. Probably in most states if you're not registered by now. But if you are registered, please go vote for the most progressive person running. for whichever office they're up for right now because I'm seeing videos of Republicans voting and they mad because Trump is not on the ballot. Which. So that should let you know. That should let you know. How dire. It's bad out here. the situation is. Yeah, we need you at the polls. Even if Trump could run again, he would not be on this ballot because these are the midterms. Yes. We're not electing a president right now. Do you see how your big, bloated fave has not campaigned for. Like, why would he be on the ballot when he has not been running for. Wow. Right. So when Election Day rolls around, just remind yourself, maybe I don't feel like stopping by the polling place. Oh, it's going to be a long line. The dumbest people in the country are going to vote. You got to cancel them hoes out. You can probably vote early in places. Yeah, you probably can. So please do. Whatever you have to do, please do it. Please vote for the most progressive person in the race. I understand that there are no perfect candidates, but there's better than the bullshit we have now. 100%. There is better than what we have now and your vote is the only thing you have that makes a difference. Yes. You only get the one. Please use the one vote. There are a number of websites, groups, that can also give you extensive information about the candidates and the different. What do you call it? When you vote yes or no. Oh, the different issues, referendums, all that sort of stuff that's on the ballot too. Get into all of it. Get into all of it, not even just the names. All of that shit is. Is relevant, specific to where you're going, where you're at. And by damn, if we don't just need, like, fresh lettuce. And I don't always keep up with everything that's going to be on the ballot, but I will vote according to the Working Families Party, usually, or the Democratic Socialists, or I'll go to their websites and see what they endorse and who they endorse and then vote that way. Yeah, that's what I do. Because those people are aligned with my politics. Yep. And because my vote is. What else do I have? I don't have any other power in this country. That. I'm begging you now. I want to remind you guys that Spencer Pratt. Oh, yes, remember that? An MTV villain. Remember that? Was seriously considered. Mm-hmm. To be the mayor of this city. And it was close. It was close. It was closer than it should have been. I am begging you. Begging y'all to get out and vote. Because, quite literally, just look around, bitch. And who suffers the most? Black people. Every fucking time. Every single. So, please. Please. Time. All of your local state elections. Go for it, babes. We're this close to them pulling the whips back out. And that's when I'm busting. Like, that is when I'm throwing them shits. That's when I'm going to just strap Lainey to my back and make that pilgrimage over the Canadian border and take my chances in Manitoba or whatever. I'm throwing Link into a baby Bjorn and I'm hitting the streets, bitch. This is past us. Me and Lainey going to be out in the fucking prairies, child. Living off goat milk and weeds. We're going to be doing our best. Beans. Sneaking to Toronto. Something. Something. Because fuck this. Drake, I apologize. I don't think it was cute. I'm coming home. It was an ugly ass. No, it was terrible. I'm like, you didn't see this fucking leopard print. Print jacket with the red leather pants. The little pussy Coachella moment was fine. The auntie fit? Didn't mind the, yeah, the auntie fit was fine. This. Oh, no, the auntie fit was cute. I just would have expected it on Mary J. Blige. You know, that's all there was. Right. It was giving Savannah James. Not too much on my girl. Maybe that was the intention because he. Oh, and he's mad at LeBron because LeBron was playing not like us. I'm prettier than her. Not even on your baddest day, Aubrey. Like it will never happen. Not to you or anyone you know. Oh, man. Okay. I think. Yeah, I think that's going to wrap up this week's episode. I'm like, did I cuss out the Eagles already about Jalen Hurts? But I think I did. So that's going to wrap up this week's episode. Yes, of The Read. Check us out on social media at This Is The Read. A new episode of my advice show, Crystal's Couch, out now, wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Any news or updates from you, Kid Fury? Yeah. You can catch the new episode of Furious Thoughts on YouTube and podcasting platforms. And I want to say a major thanks to everyone who came out to see my stand-up show. My stand-up show in Nashville and in Huntsville. Man, did I have a good-ass time. You guys were so much fun and gave me great food recommendations. And I miss the South. Like the South-South-Southern hospitality, where even the white people can be questionable. Sometimes you're just genuinely friendly. And sometimes you might, you know, have a meeting with the organization. Right. In the sheets. The water buffalo. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Why not? The water buffalo group. So, yeah. Thanks, everybody. If you're in Brea, California, I'll see you November 22nd. I'll be in Miami at the Improv on December 20th. And I think that's it. All right, y'all. Take care of yourselves. Go vote. And vote the right way. And we'll see y'all next week.