The Beaches ask about queer bars

this is a head gum podcast handsome is brought to you by squarespace squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends clients and loved ones with squarespace you can scale up your business claim your domain and showcase your offerings with a premium professional website with squarespace's cutting-edge design tools you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business their seo tools help your ideal audience find you since every dream needs a domain squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair all-inclusive price no hidden fees no required add-ons squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time squarespace makes it easy so easy we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes so what are you waiting for get started on your dream website today head to squarespace.com handsome for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code handsome to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain do we all go for it yeah i think that's the first time we all went for it all went for it welcome to the handsome pod ah i got it you did it it's fortune it's may and it's tig yeah it is you guys i feel like it's been a beat since we've done this i always feel like that you know i miss you guys i miss you too i'm about to see may tonight yeah what oh the show at uh largo yeah yeah yeah yeah you're missing out because you're out of town uh-uh i'm in toronto and not in a spacesuit in my hometown oh yeah and you're not not star trekking you're just yeah and it's so crazy because i'm just saying human words to other humans and just having conversations which i have not done in so long yeah you're not being like the nebulas in hyperdrive yeah yeah yeah that was pretty good it is it was pretty good fortune do you want to give it a whirl then nebulas as an oh no no your own your own your own sci-fi dialogue oh god you know i can't come up with the dialogue i know girl proto pack is at full capacity we must good beam ourselves up to another earth yeah great um you know i nerd so i don't know how this works i was speaking of nerds i was actually trying to find um a person who was a nerd and i was trying to picture of something in toronto and when thomas was my assistant he came with me and he almost ended up on star trek and look what i found today thomas thomas oh yeah they're gonna amazing yeah i got fully dressed up yeah on star trek that's me wearing like a cadet uniform and then they came up to me and they were like oh you can't because of like the unions or something like that such a bummer i was trying to give thomas a a little space perk but um yeah go to hulu if you want to see mr thomas in a space suit who wouldn't space perk for you i love how much you're smiling in the picture i wish you did have a cameo and you were just smiling like that in the background grinning also not that you look elderly now thomas but you look four and a half and like every picture that pops up when you're holding max and finn as babies when you're in a space suit um it's really wild anyway the passage of time we gotta crack that time is crazy someone's gotta figure out a way to just pause it have you ever just thought time is and if you if you could pause it who would you spend your time with you know it's you too yeah that might be one of our top five moments on the pod there have been many that was maybe number one that was early on of like if i could stop time for a minute i would stop time for a minute i would stop time for a minute i would hang out with you guys and take it i just cricket silence you're like i'm a little busy yeah can't say i do the same but i do like and care about you absolutely i have to say also it continues to blow my mind who listens to this podcast oh tell us girl you got i mean i i mean it's girl it's just like girl okay girl being on the podcast here in toronto um i it's just girl it's just girl i'm trying to um but it's always it's it's not necessarily like wow i wouldn't picture you listening to the podcast it's just that i hear it all the time did i tell you also i don't know if i told you this at steven colbert's um finale the after party i was talking to one of his sons and he was like oh yeah and i just i love your podcast no that's cool college-aged colbert son i go wait what do you what and he was like i love your podcast and i was awesome you listen to my podcast and he was like yeah why do you sound shocked i was like i don't know i can't track why and who listens to this nonsense but that's incredible it's so nice to know that like of course i know people listen to it but it's it's just when you see the faces whether it's somebody on set doing my sound you know doing my sound pack or um steven colbert's son or somebody walking by me saying keep it handsome yeah i'm like it's really just yeah it's just endlessly nice i think too we kind of forget because we're just really are chatting with friends on the handsome pod people will come up and tell me something about myself and i'm like how do they know this yeah and i'm like oh we've i must have talked about this on the podcast exactly i know and then you when someone says that then you pictured like what context are they listening to it in like i picture people making their pancakes in the morning listening or like driving to work and yeah i don't think anything about that oh my favorite thing and this has happened several times and i have past people who go oh my god and they hold up their phone oh yeah and they're listening to the podcast that's really good i've had that happen that would be very trippy i haven't had that happen in my life where i'm listening to something and pass by that person i haven't either i was boarding a plane once this guy turned around he was like no way and showed me his phone i was like oh my gosh that's so funny i had once maybe i've said this but i had i went on a hike it was one of my first times in la and i went to a waterfall with my friend phil who was in feel good playing phil and my friend jack waterfall in la yeah just yeah so many actually switzer falls anyways so i was there so i had phil who played phil and feel good and jack who played jack and feel good and the show had just come out and it's kind of like creating new names well i try to back the network into a corner where they have to cast the people i wrote it oh gotcha but this woman was like it was like her mind was explaining she was like i i was just watching the show and then now i'm in the show with three characters saying their same names frolicking in a waterfall yeah that would be nice yeah i didn't know about the waterfalls oh you gotta you gotta take the boys there's switzer falls it's like half an hour drive from me so i don't know from you but it's like you go up into the mountains and then it's just a little hike down there's a long river and then these waterfalls okay and you know what i've been meaning to ask you uh may please is your house still up on that hill oh no it's still intact what if i just turned my camera around and the whole side of the house was missing um yeah still here still queer yeah let's do it just and it's pride month so exciting yeah you're still queer thank god yeah i was on may i just got back from europe and with my mom we gotta get yeah tell us girl i mean y'all it was a doozy because it was on our pre-lo episode i believe that may and i originally were discussing whether or not i take my mom on this oh my god make a wish trip and um i ended up doing it what is that an example of time and space yeah like anyway i ended up doing it and but i said okay mom the one thing i'm asking of you is that you don't um bring a checked in bag like we need to work with a carry-on bag like a luggage and then a purse or book bag or something like that i said because we've got it i'm taking you to three countries you your balance isn't great i'm gonna have to carry all our bags and we just i just need this please we've had multiple conversations about it and she'd be like how many shoes should i bring i'm like two max should i bring snacks you can for the plane you know it was like one but it's like all that went out the window yeah so i'm in copenhagen i've been in europe touring by myself for five days i'm excited to be around another human i have no idea what's coming you - I'm feeling it. Filming her sitting there at the baggage claim in Copenhagen, not even really thinking, why is she at baggage claim? And I'm like, Mom, hi, welcome to Copenhagen. She's like, hey. And then I see her kind of do a look down to her bag, and I see the bag and immediately stop recording. I'm like, Mom, what is this? It's this humongous bag that she checked in. She goes, it's her bag. For 20 shows. Yes, and I'm like, Mom, we talked about this. Oh, my God. She goes, I thought it was a carry-on. It's humongous. And I'm like, no. And then so I'm getting my bags and her bags. I start to roll them. Someone's helping me because she's in a wheelchair, and I start to roll her bag, and it's like kerplunk, kerplunk, kerplunk. It's not rolling. It's broken. No. And I'm like, how am I going to do this? Girl, you don't need this. You don't need this, girl. Girl, I do not need this. And I'm like clunking her bag out of the Copenhagen airport, and I'm just like, Mom, I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to get through the next five days. And then we get to her hotel room. I start going through her bag. She has like three pairs of shoes. I'm like, you're here for two days. I mean, five days. What is this? And then in her carry-on bag, which is a Trader Joe's cooler, by the way, a cooler bag. No way. Her carry-on is a cooler. Cooler bag. Got to. Got to. Got to. Half the bag is filled with snacks. I'm like, Mom, why? It's like a whole bag of Tootsie Pops, a whole bag of Tootsie Rolls, animal crackers, goldfish crackers, Goober's candy from like the movie theater, all this stuff. I was like, they have food in Europe, and it's better, actually. Yeah. So we ended up leaving half all that food. There's nothing better than Goober's. The Goober's? I was like, keep the Goober's. I actually don't even know. What are Goober's? Yeah. What are Goober's? It's like a chocolate-covered peanut. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then I found a bag. You know, I stopped into one of those like tourist stores, bought her a new bag, a carry-on bag, purple and hot pink. Drove her back to the airport, sent her home. Drove her back to the airport. We were able to fit in all. Once she took half this, you know, all the snacks out of her bag. Yeah. We were able to maneuver everything. So crisis averted. Oh, my God. But I don't know how we would have traveled the way that she originally intended us to. And did y'all have a. Yeah. Yeah. Grand old time, delicious food. We had a great time. I mean, but it. I mean, it was a great time. Also very stressful. Just trying to keep her from getting hit or fall down cobblestones. Yeah. No, there's just bikes everywhere. You know, it's Europe. Like Copenhagen's all bikes. Yeah. Giant buses, taxis. So we'd like cross the street to catch the taxi. And I'd be like, just stay here. Don't move. Don't just stay. I turned to like get her taxi door. She just wanders off into the bike lane. I like grab her by the shoulder. It's like a two year old. Yeah. I pull her up. A bike goes. Like she would have died. I was like. And she goes, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm like, Mom, you have to listen to me. That is so stressful. Yeah. So like we had a lovely time. But then it just was me constantly like, you know, when we're we walk to my show in Copenhagen, there's like cobblestones everywhere. Yeah. And I'm just like, oh, oh, you should have given her like a piggy front ride. I know. We had we took a little waterboat tour in Copenhagen, a great food, lots of pastries. Oh, that's nice. And then we had afternoon. Tea. Got to love it. Like two pretty little ladies. Did you do your pinky out when you're having your tea? Pinkies out. Of course. That might be for high tea. Did you have any gentleman callers when you two were out having tea with your pinkies out? We were trying to hit the town looking for them dudes. But no bites. Yeah. Then in Dublin, we took a Viking splash tour. What? What does that mean? You know those. Yeah. You know those duck tours like in. Oh, yeah. Boston. Like a car that can drive out of the water. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of those where you wear Viking hats. That's cool. Wait. No, that's not. I think that's cool. I posted a whole video on it. We both had our Viking hats. And every now and then he goes, and you go, yeah. Oh, this is good. This is good. See, this is the first time I wish I was still on social media. Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty cheap. Because I'm filming her in her Viking hat. And then there was the bus wasn't full. So I sat up in front of her and we're going. And it's a nice sunny day and we're going through it. And she just looks so funny in this Viking hat. The guy that's the tour guides like enthusiastic and yelling things. And it's chaotic. And then at some point the sun goes away and now it's really cold. And I look back on my phone of my mom. She has her hood over her hat. And she's like. It's shaking cold. Oh my God. And I'm like, you don't have your hat on. And then halfway through they put life jackets on you. So I put it on her again. And she's like in her Viking hat with a giant life jacket on her. It was hilarious. Oh my God. Was she a hit though? Like at the shows, did she ever shout her out? People loved her. Every show she goes to, they clamor to her and say hi to her. They love it. Although I had made it through the whole trip. Everything was like smooth. I was in Dublin, last country. At the end of the show, she stands up and apparently just falls back. Oh my God. And I didn't see it happening. I just was kind of like, you know, shaking some people's hands and stuff. And someone goes, Fortune, your mom just fell. And I'm like, what? Oh my God. Oh my God. And I'm just like, are you okay? She's like, I'm fine. I landed right on my butt. Oh my God. Fortune. Fortune. You're only to have your morning fruit. Your morning fruit. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking what type of fruit I cut up before packing snacks for my son's soccer game. I was very sleepy this morning and mixed things up. And now a bunch of kids. Kids are trying to eat lemon slices at halftime. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate First for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. As we head into the fall, it is the perfect time to hit reset before the autumn rush. And for me, that always starts with my wardrobe. Quince proves you don't need a crowded closet to look incredible. You just need the right pieces. I am awful choosy about my denim, but I was so impressed by Quince's straight leg jeans. The best part was the quality, but the other best part was the price. Their jeans were priced at just $50. That's comparable to $245 at traditional retail. That's a 79% savings. Plus, you get an amazing pair of jeans to go with all your cash. I feel like I'm going to have to buy a pair of jeans. I find myself reaching for my Quince jeans over and over again. Quince, I'm a fan. Find the fall pieces you'll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash handsome. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash handsome. Do you think your mom would open for me next tour? Yeah. She should. She sure would. Like, she would just wave to everyone from stage for, like, 15 minutes. I think she would love it. She's good at a Q&A. I feel like she would. She loves a Q&A. Yeah. My mom is not shy. I'd actually love to see Tig, you interview Ginger, like a sort of deep Q&A. That dynamic would be great, I think. A deep one. I'm all in. I would love it. Oh, well, it was a treat. It was fun. I'm glad you did it. I'm glad we took it. I'm glad I took her. I'm glad she's safe. She had a little book club. I guess her book club has a thing where someone does, like, a presentation, like, once a month on, like, whatever. And hers was up yesterday, and she did a whole presentation on her trip, and I can imagine it was adorable. That's really good. Did they record it? I don't think so. Oh, okay. She goes, I didn't take any notes. I spoke from the heart, because I don't like it when people read their presentation. I spoke mine. I'd like to hear her version of the trip. Now that we've heard yours, it's her being like, she made me get rid of my snacks. Yeah, hers would be like, she fussed at me, right? As soon as she got off the plane. And had she, I can't remember, had she been to Europe before? She had been to Europe, but it had been, you know, over a decade since. Mm-hmm. Well, because she also, she went on her honeymoon, she got married, you know, a second time to a man uh and that only lasted three months i don't think i knew this oh really i knew she'd been married again but i didn't know it was just three months yeah so i did in my special good fortune i tell about how she had a circus theme wedding oh my god that was the marriage she had been dating and now i say dating loosely this man for five years um very uh like more companions and then out of nowhere one day he proposed to her and we were like what because they were there was no romantic spark here they just were like friends who hung out and suddenly they're getting married well my mom went so bananas because she was so pumped to be getting married she invited 300 people to our church my lord to come to this wedding and she was so pumped to be getting married she invited 300 people to come to this wedding and i'm like mom please like everyone y'all are like a weird pair no one's gonna understand why you're getting married if i can wait how old was she and i'm so pumped is it just that ladies love to get married i think ladies love to get married yeah this was like 2011 or yeah uh so i don't know how old she was what was that how long ago was that that was like 15 80 now so 65 or something around and she was just so pumped to get married but she rented a red uh a circus tent red and white striped circus tent put it inside the fellowship hall of our church she had a hot dog cart as the main food yeah she wasn't in love with this guy she had a cotton candy maker a nacho bar with jalapenos no she did not she swear to god she had she had a tilt-a-whirl too no no games but she all the tables had um uh linens on them but like pastels and bunny rabbits it was not um easter this was august so this is a mix of themes we're mix of themes she had um two baby pools you know the plastic baby pools of course we do so i you probably assume you know there's like a bobbin for apple situation no she put ice in them because they were our coolers for our soft drink what's your mother going through like a mental break this is just my mom's personality dig and then she had her friends singing um they're like going to the chapel and we're gonna get married this man he was in the corner the entire time being talked off a cliff like he i can't believe he went through this wedding. So was he having second thoughts? Oh, God, yes. And wait, your mother was not having second thoughts? My mom was having the time of her life. This was her time to shine. All of her friends were there to see her, all these people in town, but everyone was having a good time. They're kind of like, I don't really understand what this is. And so then they, that marriage lasted three months. She moved in there and at three months from then he was like, get out. Oh my God. So take your petting zoo with you. Point of the story is they had a honeymoon already booked and she went on that honeymoon to Bath, England by herself. I bet she did. And that was her last time. Yeah. How did she feel about the marriage ending or was she just, she was, she had the party. She didn't, she wasn't that bothered? She kind of was, you know, I know she was sad, so I don't mean to laugh at her misfortune. But how have you not told us the circus wedding before? That's really good. I don't know. But if you knew, I don't want to say on our podcast why everyone knew this marriage wasn't going to last. Okay. All I know is I don't know. All I will say is it was a very, I'm not saying anything. He was gay. I'm not saying anything. He was gay. I'm not saying anything, but it was very apparent to many people why this was not a love connection. So do you think that they did any sort of top secret touching? No, like the most was like a hold of hands, a little, maybe a peck. Wow. Wow. So your mom married him? My mom married a gay man. I did not say that. I did. Right. I said it repeatedly. I didn't confirm anything. I did. You're just making things up. That's right. Out of the truth. What is clear as day. Out of thin air. That's right. I didn't say any of that. I did. Yeah, they just weren't a match. That's all I'll say. Yeah. I understand now why you were like, reigning it in on the luggage. Because if she'd gone full circus, showed up with, yeah. Clowns. Yeah. And my mom can very easily, as you can see, get, get, take things too far. Anyway, enough about me. What are you guys up to? I mean, nothing compared to your life, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah. Me neither, really. Me neither. I've, I've had a pretty chill time. I got a couple of weeks at home. My, my friend Joe's here. We're writing. My house hasn't fallen off the ground. It's a cliff. Knock on wood. That is truly remarkable. I know. And I did see a thing online that said the fault lines are, the pressure's building. Oh no. Yeah, it's a coming. I don't like this. I do have, um, uh, something to share. Oh, okay. Well, May shared it. Oh. Um, you don't have to sound scared, May. Yeah, I'm like, what did I share? Oh, God. Um, May texted me. May texted this to me and Stephanie. Oh, yeah. This was a license plate. I saw Tig wife. How crazy is that? I was like, is that, I honestly crossed my mind. I was just like, truly like, that is a bold move from Keri Russell. Yeah. Wow. I don't know. Keri Russell really is putting it out there. I mean, she's flirting like crazy. She is flirting. Yeah. It's flagrant. I asked Stephanie how she felt. I was like, when May sent that picture, I was like, how do you feel knowing Keri Russell is being this blatant and, um, she said, she's not, she's not scared. She knows she's got my attention, but, uh, you know, ruffle Stephanie, you can't make her jealous. You can't ruffle her. She's like, I can't ruffle her, but, um, Keri's going to do, Keri's going to carry. Keri's going to carry. We all know that about Keri. Oh my God. Who knows Keri better than us? Okay. Exactly. Yeah. Do you, do you or Stephanie? Do you ever get jealous or y'all, does that ever happen? Um, I mean, sure. There's moments where, I mean, I can't say that it, we, we, I, we, I cannot say we have a jealous relationship. There's definitely not that at all, but there's certainly moments in our relationship where it's like, wait, what's this connection? Yeah. Yeah. Or what's this excitement or, um, and then, you know, You seem a little too happy right now. Uh, excuse me. Uh, look over here. But, um, yeah, I don't know. I think a little healthy bit dose of it here and there. There's nothing wrong with that. As long as it's not like a thing, which I don't, y'all don't strike me that at all. No. Something of a sense of humor about it. It's kind of nice. I kind of like it when someone gets a bit, is like, ah, like a sort of, oh, they really like me. Yeah. The worst is when you're, you're, you're like, oh, I don't know. Partner or someone you're dating is jealous of a friend of yours or something. And they, and there's like nothing there. Or they're like actually cold to that friend in a group. And you're like, yeah, that's the worst. Like, yeah. Yeah. Has that happened where in past relationships where you couldn't like hang out with that friend as much as a result? Yeah. There was a friend where I was, this is a long, long time ago, different, long, different relation, but where, yeah, if, if they were both at a party, I'd be talking to this friend. And then my girlfriend at the time would like come over and interrupt or like take me away. And it was so embarrassing because there was nothing there. And the friend was like, okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's been, um, yeah, that's not a fun way to live that, um, jealous vibe. And I just think about younger, younger years where I think my own insecurity, I tried to probably make people. People jealous or like give my attention to somebody else or, you know, that just that kind of like young twenties type stuff. Uh, and I know not everyone does that, but I feel like I was guilty of that at times where I wasn't taking a relationship as seriously. And then I would give attention elsewhere. I don't know. Not, not anything I'm proud of or would do now, but when it comes down to it, when you're like, but if we weren't together. Could you have an actual life with that person? Like once you're, you know, cause everyone's going to be attracted to lots of different people, but you, once you feel secure and like, well, we've built something here, that's not disposable then yeah. And I feel like I, I try to check in with myself and in my relationship where I, I'm like, don't get on, you know, autopilot. Yeah. Not that I have to always remind myself, but every now and then I'll be like, I got a good thing. I got to like really nurture this. You got to water that plant. I got to water that plant. Yeah. God, this podcast. I mean, vagina. Um, do you guys, did you, I'm waiting for you to say, I just, I don't even know what to do with you at this point. I don't even know what to do with you. You can't get out of every, every situation with it's pride month. You do that at Christmas. It's the one month I can get away with this. I've been waiting. I was waiting for a fortune Marie. But fortune Marie, there we go. Yeah. In Dublin, they had prod flags all over the city. That was pretty cool. That doesn't get you out of trouble with me though. That's fine. I love Dublin. But I thought that was very progressive of them. Yeah. I took my parents to Dublin actually. The airports. Oh yeah. How was that? I took them to an escape room. It was there. It was their first ever escape room and they could not wrap their head around the fact that they were on the same, that we were all on the same team trying to get out of this room together. It was like, like my mom would find a clue and be like, and like hide it from my dad and be like, I'm working on this one. I found the code. I know I'm not going to give it to you. It was like, no, we're trying to all get out on a clock. We're all. Oh, I didn't know you do that in a group. Yeah. You're, you're, uh, which is nice because some people have different skills. Yeah. Uh, where, you know, some people are better at clues. And some people are better at like searching for things. I passed by one in Berlin on the way to my show and I thought about you may, but I was like, well, there's no way I could do it in Berlin. Cause it'd probably be in German. I would definitely get stuck the entire time. Oh man. There's some in, in like Eastern Europe, that's where escape rooms started. And there's some that are really dark and immersive where it's like you're in an abandoned, insane asylum and there's live actors and. Yeah. I would pay anything to watch you and your mom try to escape a room. Not in a, not a really scary one, but. I don't know if I could count on her for much snacks. Cause even in a hotel, we'd be in a hotel room and she like, I don't know how to work the lights. And I was like, well, I said, well, did you, did you put, did you push the button? No, I just know, I don't know how to work them. I go, can you just try, like, can you just like turn the knob and see what happens? No. Yes. So she just like, wouldn't even touch it. She'd be like, I don't know how to do it. Did you share a hotel room? God, no. Okay. I mean, I'm sure I broke even on my tour because of it, but I, uh, I need, if I'm, I was so, it was so much traveling. Uh, I needed to sleep and sharing a room would not have provided that to me. So you could have easily gone to sleep in your room and your mom could have been. You could have been up all night with her lights on bright and her shades open, not knowing how to work anything. Oh yeah. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. So I, we got separate rooms. Now I have to go back. May. Yeah. What would you give to see me alone? Getting out of a, an escape room that was spooky. I know that you have some claustrophobia and I would, I would, if you just, a lot. So if you curled up in a ball and just were trying to wait it out, that would be so heartbreak. And to see, I'd like to see the three of us try to get out or, or you and Stephanie and Max and Finn would be pretty funny. Cause I feel like Max and Finn would be incredible. So wait, you're locked in a room. Yeah. You're locked in. Well, but it's not like a tiny room. Is it? No, it's like a size room. Yeah. You're not, you don't want any windows. No, usually not. No, no, no, no. Nevermind. You couldn't often the room that you'll, there'll be like a bookcase and then you'll solve a clue. The bookcase opens. There's a whole other. I'm in. That was all day. Sorry, but what about the bookcase? Oh, just like usually the room leads to other rooms and things like that. If you can get out. So you're never going to do one with me? Yeah, no. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. No. I always really respect who, I forget who it was. I texted maybe, maybe it was Alison Brie and yeah, Dave Franco. And I said, do you guys want to do an escape room? And she was like, I can't think of anything worse. No. She was like. I love her honesty. And I was like, she was like. I can't think of anything I want to do less than be locked in a room in a high pressure environment. I was like, great. Thank you for your honesty. Coffee it is. See you at the coffee bean. Oh, man. Well, should we get to our question? Yes. Oh, yeah. I'm excited. I love this band. I met them at the Junos just a few months ago when I was hosting and we got, we did a little bit together where I was kind of, the dynamic was me like pathetic. Trying to become a part of their band and their band's pretty cool. They're cool as hell. Real cool. They got, they got two queer members and two straighties. Love that. Love that. That's like us. I know. Exactly. Yeah. Me and Thomas are straight. Oh no. You're straight. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Today's question is brought to you by AT&T. Today's question askers are a Canadian rock band who've won multiple Juno awards, including the past three years in a row for music group of the year. Their latest album is titled No Hard Feelings. The Beaches are asking today's question. I will say about their band, they're very popular, but they're having a cool, um, like boost right now because of, uh, this show called Off Campus. I think I told May about it. Let me fill Tig in. This is Fortune's new favorite show because it's hot college age people having drama and fucking, and you know, Fortune loves like a glossy sort of youth drama. I know Fortune loves a charcuterie board. So this is like college charcuterie. Yeah, I did. I watched it all. It's a hockey team and they're, you know, just up to the things that you're up already. No, that's a get, that was a gay hockey show. This is straight, um, guys in college and they're just like boning and it's fun. And yeah, the, everyone's good looking and it's the hot new show right now. And Beaches had a song on it. That's like popped off as the kids say G flip friend of the pod also had a song pop off. Um, and so I love seeing, uh, these, uh, queer folks, uh, getting, um, this mainstream success. It's very cool. But yeah, that's the hot show right now, guys. I just have my finger on the pole. I don't know what to tell you. Um, I also watched the entire series of my, the summer I turned pretty, uh, I'm still enjoying my new life of waking up from a coma every day when I'm not on now that I'm not on social media, I will say this, I don't know what's happening and it's, you don't know who's popping off and who's not popping on or off. I will say this, the girl that's very popular in a show, her name in real life is me. Uh, um, and next season is going to be focused on her character. I played her mom, uh, Margaret, Margaret Cho. And I played her lesbian moms in a movie, um, called sex appeal. And I had never played a mom before, and I did not know how to do this or to relate or to be motherly. So my version of trying to be nurturing to my onscreen daughter was I would buy her a latte, um, in the morning. And I was like, okay. I'm like, here you go. And that, I felt that was my motherly nurturing self. Here's your coffee drink. I love you. She's awesome. I'm so happy for her that she's having this, this, uh, success. It's really cool. Anywho. Back to the noodles. We haven't heard the question yet. We haven't. No, I just. Oh, shit. Okay. Shout out to the beaches and off campus. Yeah. And all they're popping off with their pop-offs. Everyone's popping off. When are we going to pop off? Just like vagina. Vaginas. Oh, Jesus. Fortune Marie. Fortune Marie. Hey, it's the beaches. I'm Leandra. I'm Eliza. I'm Jordan. And this is Conan. I'm Kylie. And our question for you is what is your favorite queer bar? Ooh. Ooh. Mmm. Queer bar. Well, I will say there's not many, uh, I know they said queer bar, but as far as lesbian bars, there ain't many in the U S it's crazy. There's actual. There's actual like stats of how they're all shut down. It's like under 20 or something, right? It's crazy. Yeah. My friend's opening one. Um. Good. Yeah. In like South Carolina. Yeah. Wow. Um, I have a number of favorites. Yes. They have a dog called Conan. I have one favorite. The beaches have a dog called Conan. Let's. I love it. Love it. Yeah. What's your favorite Tig? Yeah. Well, when I first moved to Los Angeles, I got a job at little Frida's coffee shop. which is where they have I had a night or not nightly, a Thursday night stand up show. And so I thought if I work behind the coffee bar, I can be sure to be around to get on that stage. And and then it just also ended up becoming my, you know, door to a social life. And right across the street from Little Frida's coffee shop was the Normandy room. Did you ever go there? I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. The Normandy room was just like so low key. They had two pool tables and like a bar and maybe a jukebox. Like it just was that there was no dance floor. It's really just sit at the bar, have a drink, play pool. Very chill. Yeah. Real chill. So it was it was just part of my routine of even after I didn't work at Little Frida's. The Normandy room was the bar. It was the only bar that I liked to go to because it was it was very tiny. Yeah. And very lit and yeah, it was just such a perfect little I don't even know if it I don't know that it's a dive bar, but it just kind of had a similar vibe to a little hole in the wall kind of place. And yeah, it wasn't over the top at all. Loved it. Yeah, it was a good one. Mm hmm. How about you, Fortune? Well, my favorite queer bar used to be. These are all in the past. The oil can Harry's in L.A. was like my Mecca for many years. It was a gay country Western bar that was there for decades. And I still am sad it no longer exists. But yeah, it's wild. I would country line dance and two step there for years. And seeing those beautiful gay men twirl each other around was like breathtaking. I think that Dallas has a one called Stampede. So I have to check that out. But, you know, as far as there's a couple of lesbian bars, the cubbyhole in New York, really cool bar, very, very tiny. That's still that's still open. Yeah, I believe Henrietta's as well. So I love seeing that there is a space like that. The May you went to the Nashville one. That's really cool. Lipstick lounge. I loved that. I actually I might say I might say that one. Yeah, my two favorites are also. We were there. Yeah, in Nashville. Yeah, karaoke with Thomas and that actor from Orange is the New Black was there. Laura Prepon. That was yeah, I really liked that bar. That's a good one. Nashville also has I don't know if it's still there, but play was a really good one. Fun. A lot of fun drag shows. It's all like city. Weirdly enough, you're around. Yes, seriously. You're on tour. We have toured for 17 years. But. Back in my single days, I would always go to the gay bars. I've toured longer than that. And I didn't know there. You're just a real fuddy daddy, aren't you? I really am. I guess so. I'm just taking walks and looking for vegan food. So would you go like sit at the bar and like, like, see who's around? Back in my Chelsea lately days, people would, you know, because Chelsea was a vibe, like a party vibe, drinking vibe. People would come to Chelsea Handler. Yes, I know. That's hard to believe. Interesting. People would come to our any of our shows that were on the show expecting us to want to, like, throw down. Now, I'm not a big throw downer, but I was back then I was single and, you know, on there for the weekend doing shows. And so usually people would come to the shows and be like, come to the gay bar. And I would just be like, why not? So I don't really do that much at all. And it's been many years since I've done that. But back in my day, I and I would love to go to drag. Drag shows were my favorite. I would love to. Go to like the local gay gay bar and see a drag show. So, yeah, I hit up the gay bar in Salt Lake City. I believe it's closed now. But because some of them kind of come and go and others are institutions, it just really depends. But, you know, that's why our community, it's important for us to to support these spaces. Yeah, my two favorites, like in my twenties that were really there was a bar called The Beaver in Toronto. I love it. May. Yes. Yeah, May Marie. May Marie. It was. It was so good. Beaver Marie. And it was really. Maybe it was just the time of my life that I was at. But it felt like it was like kind of grungy and they would have cool events and people were always like fucking in the bathroom or fights would happen. Like it was a little it was great and they had a little back patio and you could hang out there. So I miss that. That closed. Yeah. But there's a lot of pictures of me with very plucked eyebrows and very skinny jeans and bleached hair just being like. What's that in like a plaid shirt? Like a little. Sounds like me. Yeah. Can I just say, speaking of a plaid shirt? Yeah. I went and got a massage the other day in Toronto and I go in in my just regular black and white flannel. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in Canada. Yeah. Right. Mm hmm. I go in to get a massage. A gay guy is behind the counter. And he goes. god i love your sweater and i was like this is this i was like this is a flannel and he was like i love it isn't that a very common look in canada the red and black flannel yeah maybe i would think so like recognized you and sort of didn't know what to know no maybe and he didn't realize he recognized me but he could not get over my quote unquote sweater i was like i love that how am i not the epitome of a gay guy's joke about a lesbian that i walk in in a flannel and he's trying to make it a sweater anyway it was very bizarre go ahead back to gay bars well that one's yeah that one's closed now so yeah i'm gonna go nashville lipstick lounge but that feeling when you first come out and you first go to like yeah where where you can fully be yourself and you can be yourself and you can be yourself and you can be yourself and you can be yourself yeah i'm gonna go nashville lipstick lounge but that feeling when you first come out and you know that there's a real chance that people are pulling and hooking up and it's like oh my god it's not like yeah like pulling you know you can pull someone oh okay i see yeah because otherwise you go to a bar and it's like all right is there who else is here there is a a lesbian bar in austin when i lived there called hollywood hollywood hollywood hollywood i'm trying to think where else i've been uh san francisco one had a something called lookout i like that one uh oh the stonewall end in new york is very iconic obviously from our our history um um oh and chicago has a really great gay scene because they have a whole area called boystown that's their gay area and the sidetracks is a very popular gay bar there that's really fortune yeah this is a very popular gay bar this is wild fortune this is you've listed like 50 i know because i support our community come on now support our community but i know you don't you're not supporting them like i do i know i'm just also in chicago there's these lesbians that i'm friends with own a tavern called whiskey girl tavern shout out to them um and that's a great place to hang too um there's a lot of great places i think i just you know i even though i'm older and i don't hang out at the bars as much oh atlanta has um has uh uh something mary's oh let me look it up because i like that one a lot too they should call a bar something mary's because it'll sound like you're trying to remember the name every time something let's go to something oh i think it's just called mary's um but that one's really great uh but yeah i just you know i liked it when i was on tour because it just was always such a positive great vibe like it was always like um happy and like accepting and you felt safe and um there's a bar called high and you could pull in la you can oh yeah high tops and it's like yeah high tops is like a queer sports bar like a lesbian sports bar which is cool yeah akbar has a great stand-up show that for years that bruce daniels and aaron foley have produced that's a really great one i that's where i came up i've ever done that oh it's it was iconic it's where i kind of cut my teeth with stand-up and back then it would be like karen kilgariff and wanda sykes and uh page hurwitz and that show still happens at akbar i believe it's maybe not every week but it still happens yeah i just saw wanda there a couple months ago doing an open mic just yeah working out material it's a great place to work stuff out but there's so many great bars i don't want to bring it down but my very very first headliner gig uh after um last comic standing was at pulse orlando no way wow wow really incredible club the owners were so nice and right before what happened i had run into one of the owners at um a human rights campaign event in columbus and they're like you gotta come come back and i was like yeah and it was like months later all that happened which i that experience really rocked me just because of you know for gay people yeah i mean in general it's terrible but like for gay people the gay bars were our only space for so many decades for you know gay people to be able to be themselves to be out to like love freely because for so long you couldn't and yeah so that so the a gay bar a gay space was like that is our our little um that's for us you know that's our thing yeah um and then obviously over the years it's evolved and now you got a lot of straight bachelorette parties at these gay bars yeah it's a whole different scene you know i was actually some cool places i was just in orlando um for an event and they were you know it was memorializing yeah yeah it was uh it was really intense uh beautiful i remember when that happened i went to a vigil in toronto in the in the gay district for paul's and i forgot about my favorite queer bar in the world yeah world is it sweaty betty's yes sweaty betty's on ozington yeah that's tiny and glows red and they're it's like they they are really generous with their pores and i have a lot of first dates there oh i love that they're any last dates there i'm sure first and last i do like that the lesbians are starting to open up more of those sports bars that's starting to be more of a thing and i think a lot of them are doing well yeah um because lesbians notoriously don't go out um especially after they couple up and that's what do you mean so i mean it's it is true that once lesbians find a partner they get going out they get cozy they want to you know be at home and cook dinner and watch movies and cuddle and just gay it up you know and they don't go because they would go to the bars trying to find somebody and so i that is part of why a lot of the lesbian bars don't end up surviving but sports that's what's that's where they're learning is kind of the niche there is that lesbians even in a couple still love sports see now i'm not going to be able to i'm not going to be able to get stephanie to come home yeah that's true sports bar watching that high tops bar that may mention serves corn dogs really yes oh my god i don't need if i'm going there for anything it's a corn dog i just went there for alana johnston's birthday and uh it was perfect it wasn't too crowded and no one was really dancing and then a spice girls song came on and we all just intensely danced for just the duration of that song then sat down kept going with our combos what was the song uh spice up your life yeah classic to the world spice up your life now um should we hear uh their their answer yeah yeah i'll just say i'm really excited for the world cup soccer oh yeah the world cup is very exciting we we gotta watch are you gonna go to any games i don't i think i prefer to watch it at home i can see the sweat you gotta go to the lesbian bar and watch it oh yeah that's actually a great idea to that thank you when it gets down to the finals especially yeah There is nothing. The men's World Cup is exciting, but for me, I'm a huge women's soccer fan. And when it is World Cup time or Olympic time, I am up in one of those bars. Yeah. I love it. I'm a person that wakes up at like 530 in the morning to see them play. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Anyway. Let's hear what the beaches have to say. I've been real chatty today. Sorry. I love it. Lord, you sure have. Nice. I mean, you've been stuck in Europe, knowing speech or language. I had no one to talk to but myself and my mom for two weeks. Wait, when did you get home? Like how long ago? Like three days ago. Oh, okay. Yeah. We really took the brunt of it. All right. Let's hear their answer. We have a couple of favorites. New York, gingers, LA, honeys, Toronto, $3 bill. I have a story about honeys. Do you want to hear it? Yeah. Sure. Please. Come on. When I was first dating Parv and I was like, I want to take her to like a queer party and I took her to honeys and it was so crowded and hot, but it was fun there. But I guess we're dancing a bit. We made out a bit and we ended up leaving. That night, Parv got a DM from a stranger that was like, hi, Parvati. I hate to be the one. I'm going to tell you this. This is going to be hard to hear, but I saw May making out with someone at honeys tonight and Parv was like, yeah, that was me. Weirdo. Yeah. I can't believe she wrote back. Wow. I think I was like, write her back. You were getting, you were getting checked. I know. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's hilarious. They're like, maybe I better not be up to any bad stuff. Yeah. That could have been like a Shakespearean misunderstanding. Nothing worse than a Shakespearean misunderstanding. There is truly nothing. Hey, girl, you're right. There's a Shakespearean misunderstanding. Good Lord. No, thank you. Or remember when Romeo didn't get that letter explaining? Do I remember? He died. He died as a result. They both died. And it was just one big Shakespearean misunderstanding. Shakespearean misunderstanding. Misunderstanding. Merch alert. Oh, you guys. Is that a saying? Wait, is that a saying? A Shakespearean misunderstanding? I don't think so. It's just a trend. It is now, kid. It is now, kid. It is now. Merch, merch, merch. I haven't heard of gingers in New York or $3 bill in Toronto. Have you? Do you know of $3 bill in Toronto? No. Tig, go tonight. Go tonight. The phrase is. The queer, Emma's queer is a $2 bill. Is that what they used to say? No, queer is a $3 bill. It was three? I thought it was two. No, two and not queer because they exist. Do they? Wait, is it a two or three? Two and not queer. Thomas, can you? Two and not queer. Can you Google that up? Three, queer, queer is a $2. I thought it was. It's $3 bill because there's no such thing as a $3 bill. Well, whatever. What did I just say? Whatever. Does that mean that queer people, that we're not, there's no such thing as us? If you take it. I'm queerer than a $3 bill. So $3 bills don't exist and therefore we don't either. We need to drop that saying. Well, Tig, I think that after your vegan meal tonight, you should walk over to $3 bill wherever it is. What would that be like? Go in your flannel sweater. You'd be like. But I mean. What would happen if I just went in alone to the $3 bill? You'd be mobbed. I'll just have a water. No ice? Yeah. Can someone else order a glass of wine? I'll have a sip. Oh my gosh. You know, we all have our lanes. We do. And I'm forever stuck in mine. Gladly though. Yeah. You're happy. That's all that matters. Happily in my life. Listen, I'm too old to be hanging out at the gay bars all the time. Or any bar. It's not even just a gay bar, just any bar. I walk into a bar now and it's so loud and I'm just like, oh my God. You know what we have to put on the list is a top secret camera situation that follows each of us separately alone into a gay bar. Oh my God, yeah. And see how that goes down. That would be pretty funny actually. Yeah. That would be so funny. Why isn't somebody making a TV show of our list? Tig just walks in and walks right back out. Made surrounded by people. I did this venue. Where was I? Albany. I was in Albany. And the venue is called The Egg. Oh yeah. I've been there. You performed there? Okay. So the guy, this guy was like, have you, have you been to The Egg? And I said. I don't know. And he said, oh, you would know it's in the shape of an egg. And I said, well, honestly, sir, I do feel like I could wander in and out of an egg and not even realize it. So, but when I did leave the show, cause I came in, you know, some weird back entrance and you know, nothing looked too weird inside. And then I walked out the front door when I left and I looked back and I was like, well, I'll be damned. That is the shape of an egg. It is. Really, really great crowds there. But anyway. Any hoosers. Any hoosers. It was wonderful to see you all. You as well. Wonderful to see you. Head on out to Colorado Springs on July 16th to see me. I'll be also in Calgary. I'll be in Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia, Fresno, Napa. All. The big cities of the United States and Canada right now hitting those. markets still and man the audiences are just so friendly and great and i'm very thankful i am uh just added a ton of new dates and starting in august uh i'm gonna be in west hampton new york then i'll be at the foxwood casino in connecticut red bank new jersey halifax canada uh august 14 15th provincetown massachusetts pretty gay there um greenville south carolina wilmington north carolina uh boise portland oregon austin dayton durham denver louisville bunch of places are coming i just want people to come to guelph on july 17th uh guelph ontario i'm gonna play my whole album uh with a band at hillside festival and then on july 18th and 19th i think i'm i'm at uh i'm in yellow knife in the northwest territories if you've ever wanted to see that midnight sun i'm going to play the whole album there as well so come come hang out i love it yeah heck yeah heck yeah also make sure to rate review subscribe youtube wherever you get your podcasts and also check us out on hulu we are available the day before the day before our regular release yep check us out on hulu and also go to handsomepod.com for all of our wonderful merch we do have some good ones yeah we do and until next time keep it handsome handsome is hosted by me tignotaro may martin and fortune theme stir the show is produced recorded and edited by thomas willett email us at handsomepod at gmail.com follow us on social media and subscribe to our social media at handsome pod that was a hate gun podcast checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance not checking that my mom's luggage is in good working order before flying her out on a trip big mistake now instead of seeing the sites we're shopping for a new roller bag yeah checking first is handsome so check all state first for an auto code it could save you hundreds you're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms conditions and availability all state north american insurance company and affiliates northbrook illinois