The Armenian Genocide was Brutes | History Hyenas

What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Chris De Stefano, aka Chrissy the Cuck. With me, as always, Yannis Poppis, aka Yani Onei. I want you to have fun with this episode. Do not forget to like and subscribe to that YouTube page, youtube.com/historyhyenas and patreon.com/historyhyenas for the bonus episodes and the ad-free episodes. Tell your friends. [Music] All right guys, I'm back on the road. Every single Thursday, New York City at New York Comedy Club, 6 and 8.30 p.m. shows, go to christiecomedy.com for Tiki Wickeys. And then in late June, I am at Stamford Comedy Club. And then August, we are at Atlantic City Comedy Club. More dates coming, christiecomedy.com. Yeah, we're sticking around. We're trying to stay away from playing. So you can see me this weekend, May 2nd, in the Mayas, Pennsylvania, at the Amazes Theatre. Atlantic City, New Jersey, at the Tropicana Casino Comedy Club. Whatever that is there. That's the Atlantic City Comedy Club. Yeah, June 26th, 27th, East Hampton, New York, July 8th, New Brunswick, July 17th through the 18th, Philly Punchline, August 14th and the 15th. And then Austin, Texas, August 21st to 23rd, yannispepperscomedy.com for Tickets. Enjoy this freaking episode with you already are. Yeah, that's where the wild things are. And I'm Yani Onei, I'm Yani Minion. Yeah, it's what it is. I don't know if he's called me Yani Minion. Yani Minion, 'cause they got one eye. Those are the new ones that are going to start popping out, but you like Yani Onei. I like Yani Onei. It sounds like a name I was given to by Italians and Bensoners. It's what it is. Yani Onei, it sounds like yeah, like that Joe Gas pipe gave you that. Yeah, it just sounds like they take your worst quality and they at times will just make it your name. Now, 'cause today we're going to be talking about the Armenian genocide, okay? And we're not talking about keeping up with the Kardashians. We're talking about the historical debacle in the early 1900s, just another one for the Ottoman Empire just slaughtering innocent. They were really good, they had a whole thing. Look, it was an efficient empire. They ran a tight ship. Yeah, they did their Dev Sharma sweeps every couple of years. What they would do is they'd go around. They'd go around the areas in the Balkans, Slavic areas, Greek areas up into the Caucasus and they'd just go into your home and they'd say, that's your seven year old son. They would go, yeah, and they'd go, he's ours now and we're going to turn him into an elite Muslim genocide. It's what it is, and now look, and he's going to come back and kill you. I know that people are out there saying, like, Jesus, these guys, every week, they're making something about Islam. We're not, we're just doing history. Today, we're going to do a history episode just about, again, just another, you know, Muslim slaughter that we came upon and this has nothing to do. We're just giving you the facts here. Because, you know, if Mom Donnie wants to run New York City, he's okay, but we can have our response to. And we respond with history and we respond with the facts. We respond with the facts. Here's the interesting thing. So here is the very interesting thing. You got to give credit to Mom Donnie. A lot of people were surprised about this. Okay. So we're doing this episode, not because we like talking about the Ottoman Empire and about Muslim atrocities, as much as we're trying to catch the trending algorithm. That's why, because two days ago was the Armenian Genocide anniversary. Yes. And so it was all over social media and the news. And the thing about the Armenian Genocide is it's controversial. Right. It's controversial because 34 nations recognize it, but a bunch don't. And those ones that don't are Turkey, Pakistan, and a couple of places. Israel won't. Yeah, I found out that it was the Armenian Genocide anniversary when I somehow found stumbled onto Hassan Pikers, Twitch stream from a five-star hotel in Cuba as he was cheering on the death of the Armenians. One lifting weights and doing pepda. He was way so seen. Hassan Pikers, if he did a 23-and-me, unfortunately, the kid would be a Greek or Armenian kid. It's what it is. It's just what it is. The Turks, they looked a little bit more. The Turks look a little more Ali Wangish. It's what it is. So they're central Asians, so they're a little bit more hiding-go-seek-looking. Listen, here's the thing with Hassan. Vlad 14. Here's the thing with Hassan Pikers, is he's a gorgeous, really gorgeous kid. And he will get a tap kiss from me on his uncircumsoized penis. Because he is such a cute kid. He's a fun kid. He's an entertaining kid. I enjoy that kid. He's under a lot of heat right now, because he said he would go into Whole Foods and he would love to steal, because corporations, he likes to steal from them. It's what it is, because today. And he also said he understand whether the CEO of that health company got murdered because he was committing social murder. My kids asked me yesterday why I was roaming around on my hands and knees with a shock collar on. I said, "I'm making believe I'm Hassan Pikers dog." Vlad 14. 'Cause if you're Turkish, they just like order. They want you to submit. So what is the dog to submit? So he has another fun fact, too, because I know Hassan Pikers has been in the news. And Hassan Pikers has been on my podcast. I actually liked the guy. But he got famous from a show called The Young Turks, and we found out the origination of The Young Turks is actually from the Armenian Genocide time. Yeah, which is what's her name? Anna Kizvasvian, whatever her name is. Anna Kizvasvian, what's her name? I don't know. Chank's co-host, she's Armenian. So she's saying, "Who's co-host?" Chank. Oh, Chank. I think she said something else. Yeah, no, he said she ain't. Anna Casparian. Okay. Whenever you see an IAN, it's Armenian. I say. And I'll say this, Armenians are Christians. They saw it with Christians. It would set the table. Armenians are Christians. Okay, so Armenians are the good guys. Live 14. The Greeks are not Armenians. Armenians. Armenians and Greeks are big fans of each other. Right, because they did not submit to you Islam. Or Armenians. The Greeks didn't. The Armenians also. The Armenians also. Right. The Armenians also. The Armenians also. It's a complicated thing out there in the Middle East. Right. Complicated things. But, because Armenians was Christian. Armenians are Christian. They were Christian. They were all lived in the Ottoman part of the Greeks. The Armenians. It was all Ottoman. They conquered everything. Yeah. And then they had the Millet system, which meant you can keep your religion. But you can never bring charges against the Muslim. If we want to come in your house and take your son and turn him into an elite Muslim fighter who's brainwashed and becomes a Manchurian candidate and comes back and kills your village, that's our parodative as well. We'll do that every couple of years. Right. Also, if your daughter is attractive, we might take her to and throw her in a harem. Yeah. Now, that part I understand because I would have done the same. Now, also to the candidate, they just updated that. They also can hit the prayer rug in your driveway after they drop off the Uber Eats. That's part of what is allowed under Shia Ria Law. And if you want to hear all about that, go to patreon.com/historyauliness. We now have a court case on our hands. Yeah. That is one of the best episodes we've ever done. It's based on a true story that happened to one of the co-hosts you're looking at right now. Yeah. So, this is the Ottoman Empire. This is the Malay system. So, if you were Armenian or you were Greek, you had to pay a tax. Okay. Right. Someone would call it a protection tax. A jiza. They called it a jiza. It was a protection tax. It was what they call it. Just like the mafia would call it a protection tax. It's a protection tax. It was just for your protection. For your protection, you're under the protection of the Muslim Ottoman Empire. That's all I'm saying. Nobody can mess with you. But you have to pay us a little extra. And so, that would, it was genius because it would really put the financial pressure on you to convince you, like, most people ended up converting just so they could have the law. Right. Just so they could have the law and that they could don't have to pay the tax. Right. But then you had to go to the military. But then the Turk, the Ottomans would make you change your name. They'd make you change your name to a Turkish name. The total Turkification. So, like, what would be like changing to like a Turk name? They'd change it to like Hassan Piker, from like Papadus. So, if your name was Janus Pompus, what would your Turkish name be? Hassan Piker. Hassan Piker. Yeah, it would be Hassan or Mehmet or Mehmet or Mehmet or Mehmet. Okay, that's right. Yeah, Mehdi, I, I, something like that. And you would change your name. So, actually, and this is just the truth. The majority of Turkey now, which is the nation-stated Turkey that grew out of the Ottoman Empire, what was left of it, after the borders were receded, after World War I. The majority of the Turkish population is converted Greeks, Armenians, Assyrians, and Anatolians, which are, there was different types of Anatolians. That way, Anatolians are Turkish. They're from the air, they're Turkish now. But originally, there were just tribes of people that were living in there. So, so, so, I'm just gonna add just, just, just to keep it simple without saying names, just, you know what I mean. Good guys and bad guys. The Anatolians, good guys and bad guys, that's the only way I could see it. Good guys. Anatolians are the good guys. Okay, so, so that just break it down from the-- We've got the whole injustice and the legion to do. Yeah, yeah. So, the Anatolians are the good guys. So, just tell me, because my brain's a little slow, because the ketones wore off. Anatolians are Luke Skywalker, and his people, and the Jedi Knights, and then you got Darth Vader, and that guy, and the Darth Death Star. So, just so I know, so, when we say Darth Vader and the Death Star, just, in this situation, Darth Vader's were in a turban. Battle 14, just, they're covered. That's just like Darth Vader and just, there's something over his body. It's just fully clothed. Yeah. Yeah. So you had to add a tie-ins and you know that area used to be the Byzantine Empire. So it was all Christian. Right. It was all Christian. Egypt was all Christian. All Christian, Europe, Christian, Armenian, good guys, good guys all over the Middle East. Good guys all over the Middle East. Now we're not going to sugar code it, the Byzantines also didn't just ask you to convert sometimes. Right. Sometimes they said, "Oh, you're worshiping. You have a leaf over your dick and you're worshiping." Like you said. You got a leaf over your dick and you're worshiping some fucking tribal God. Well now it's Jesus. Right. So the good guys could do bad things. The good guys could do bad things. They were still the good guys. But they were still overall good, but they did have bad moments. Yeah. Their prophet was a guy who preached peace. He wasn't a. Way song she ain't. That's what it is. Just bleep that. You gotta bleep it. So, and you know, Istanbul was Constantinople, which was the fucking center of the Christian Byzantine Empire, which now the Shradd-Torin was. Right. So, Istanbul, Istanbul right now is the capital of modern day Turkey, which used to be Constantinople. And I just want to say, just like the way New York is now New York, but in a couple years it'll be called New Can the Heart. That's what it is. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. So, I just would like to say, and this is just. I'm not saying for any reason why I'm just going to say it, and I just would like Constantinople back. So do I. Yeah. Go back. It's just like, 'cause I know like the, what is it, the Sophia? I guess Sophia. I guess Sophia. I would like to have that back. I would like to have that back in the hands of the good guys. It's right now it's not in the hands of the good guys. It's currently a big mosque. We lost it a long time ago. We lost Constantinople. We lost Constantinople, where all this stuff is contextually relevant leading up to the Armenian genocide. So. And by the way, when I say good guys versus bad guys, I'm talking about historically. I'm not saying anything present day. We have a lot of historical bad guys that are now good guys in present day. When I talk about history, good guys versus the bad guys, I'm talking about history. Right. Even though I did have a bad guy, an Uber Eats driver, I had a bad guy. Right. I did have a bad guy show up on my property. What we're basically saying is we want to go to Turkey and we want to do hypnosis like this, and go, what was your real name? Yeah. What's your real name? Yeah. Where is your real grandparents until they start going, until they start going, "Fistosa Nasty." We go, "I know there's a Greek in there. I know there's a Greek in there somewhere." Yeah. Talk to me. I know there's an Armenian in there. Yeah. Let me just say, too, just real quickly, even though it doesn't have anything to do with today's episode. I just want to say real quick, that the Crusades was not a war that you learned about in school. You always sometimes learn about the Crusades in school as very bad Christian men doing very bad things to Muslims. I just want to say that that's a lie. That's all like liberal, unholy, trinity stuff that we've spoken about. The truth is that the Crusades was a response of Islam taking Christian lands like Armenia and Egypt and all those countries we mentioned, so it was a response, the Crusades were a response. So we didn't start it. It's what I'm saying. That's historically accurate. It's just historically. It's objectively accurate. It wasn't just those lands. They started marching in Europe and they wanted to try to take Vienna. And there was a standard Vienna and then the Christians were trying to reclaim the lands that they had lost. Yeah. And it's going to remind just again, just throw it in there, just so we have it, that the word Islam does mean surrender. So it just Islam just know that that's not what Christianity means for the word Islam means surrender. It means submit submission. It means submission. So just that's just, just know that that's, you know, what's happening. That's what the word of the religion is submit. Whenever you mix religion and power, bad things happen, but the Ottoman Empire had it sort of institutionalized in a smart way. The Christians came along and they kind of did it very much by the sword. Right. Whereas the Ottomans were like, we're going to run an efficient empire and we're going to slowly turn you into us. Right. Which is actually more smarter. It's smarter and it's actually, it's a little cleaner. I think it's the way mom, dummy can really balance the budget of the city is if he just does a jiza. Yeah. I mean, you got a lot of Christians. You got a lot of Jews. You just say, hey, you can convert to Islam. And if you don't, you just got to pay an extra tax. Yeah. And then with that extra tax, we can balance the budget in New York. It's what it is. And Stavros wouldn't have broken his arm falling off that lime scooter if there were free buses in our city. There's no question in my mind that a Stavros, if he wasn't probably from whatever Ireland he was and he was sort of an Anatolian Greek, if he was a Ponte Greek, no question. His name would have a squiggly line over it right now. What it is? It would just be a squiggly line and he'd be speaking a different language. Feel better, Stavros. Hope you're all better. Feel better. As I said on the Patreon, get off the scooter. I want you to go down on the lime scooters and up on the limes. So a little more fruit is what you say. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Okay. So this is the Ottoman Empire. 400 years. They run all that area. Yes. Armenia. The Kurds, everyone is under the Ottoman Empire and it is the Millet system. So if you're Muslim, you're basically a first class citizen. If you're in the Millet system, you are, Dev Sharma, I'm sorry, you are in the Millet system. You're a second class citizen. Dev Sharma. Dev Sharma sounds like a cricket player. Dev Sharma sweeps. Okay. Dev Sharma sweeps. They would do dev Sharma sweeps every couple of years and they would go pay a little visit. Okay. They would go pay a little visit. They would. Because this is when we Google Dev Sharma, you got this body would act like this. Yeah. Yeah. It's all one word with an eye. Yeah. Dev Sharma with an eye. Yeah. There you go. Just go down for this suggestion. Yes. It's got a GED. Yeah. I'm going to start calling them Fifth Avenue. Yes. Yeah. So the Dev Sharma was a blood tax. It was an Ottoman policy that forcibly levied Christian boys from the Balkans converting them to Islam to serve as elite genitory soldiers or high ranking bureaucrats loyal to the Sultan. Meritocracy. Yeah. Ruling class separated from family ties to power. The empire is expected. So in other words, cause Christian boys from the Balkans, you, if you were live in the 14th to 17th century, you would have been a genitory. I would have, it was up to them because you're a Balkan boy. Yeah. I'm a Balkan boy. Big. Or Slavic from Bulgaria or, you know, Romania or Serbia or Greece or any of those areas. All the way up, they loved the Caesareans, which are a Caucasian group because they said they had beautiful women. That's where they love to get their sexual slaves. Right. They love the Caesarean women with white women. They love those. They love those like Russian-looking women. They love them. But they also like the Greek women. So they would do the, the trauma sweeps were when they were coming, they wanted, so they were recruiting soldiers. They would brainwash you. So they take you from your family. Your family would be crying. Sure. And they'd just come in your house and they would forcibly remove you from your family as a little boy. And they would take you to Istanbul. They would force you to convert to Islam. They would raise you, Islamic, baby. So the kids all had Stockholm syndrome. And then they became elite fighters for the Sultan and they would then go and oppress the places that they were from, because now they were like fully loyal to the ordinary part. I think Vlad Dracula, this happened to the actual Vlad the Imperial. He was taken in because of this. And then Vlad Dracula, Vlad the Imperial was a crusader when he was impaling, he was impaling Ottomans, right? This was just the system. Yes, exactly. Turks. Yeah. So they got taxes from the Malay system, from all the protected minorities, which were Zoroastrianism, which they were slowly converting. Iranians. That's right. Iranians, right? Persians. Zoroastrianisms, Christians, the Jews, very few Jews converted and or they stay true to who they were. Very few Armenians converted because they had a strong central church, one of the oldest churches, very few Greeks and Montenegrians, strong Orthodox church. So they paid the tax. And they also did guerrilla warfare, Constance, like the Montenegrians to, to try to, so the Ottomans like to kill them, they killed them, but a lot of Greeks and Armenians and, and Assyrians who were also Christian, converted in Anatolia, which is the area basically of Turkey now, right? It's like, it's called Anatolia, that area, right? So you had, and then there was like little tribes there that they also converted. So we'll call that for right now. We'll call that the nice part of Turkey. Without the Death Star. Yeah. Well, no, not Anatolia, right? Because that was a nice part. Well, no, Anatolia was like the main area. Right. So the Turkic, the Turkic warriors, they were basically like Mongolians, right? They were hired by the Arabs first, taught to fight by the Arabs and then they came and conquered, they conquered the former Byzantine lands that make up Anatolia. Got it. So these were like, asiatic looking people from the steps that came down. They were Muslim and they came down and they started the Ottoman empire from the steps, not from the neutrals. They were from the steps. Yeah. They were from the steeps. S-T-E-P-P-E-S. Yeah. So they came down and most of the genetic makeup, they say, of the Anatolia area is like, at most, nine, 10 percent, most of them have zero. Right. Turkic in them. Like, thank God I have none. But you're positive. But you did clean sweep? I did a clean sweep. No Central Asian DNA. Okay. No Central. I am an Anatolian Greek and I am a Minoan Greek from Crete. Yeah. Yeah. Hellenic all the way, baby. Yeah. Hellenicized. Yeah. So they came down and so the most it'll be as like usually nine to 10% okay so the Turkish people look very you know Middle Eastern or European right out of European because of the mixing with the women that they took the intermarriage the conversions right mostly conversions force conversions or via the the tax system the Armenians kind of resisted in state of minority the Greeks Miss Turkey will get cracked open yeah and on islands it was harder for them to do the mainland they just easy picking right so they convert a lot of Greeks and the Greeks and the Armenians would change their names and that made up the Ottoman Empire was just like living in the Roman era wherever you were like Roman you wanted to be Roman icing you got like tax breaks you became a citizen if you want to be a U.S. citizen yeah if somebody raped someone raped your daughter you could go to court right now like you could you if you were not if you were not uh Muslim you couldn't just go to court and go hey this Muslim guy took my daughter they'd be like yeah yeah that's what it is because you're yeah you're a Greek yeah hello it's just what we look at my helmet up from the Deathsaw look at what I'm wearing yeah you're just asking why a fish swims yeah I mean I'm in water yeah hello so hello that's what we do yeah look at my belt it's just severed Christian heads around my waist yeah which is what we do so they were discriminated against constantly the Armenians then for years for hundreds of years hundreds of years hundreds of years so then we have world war one right and the Ottomans side with the Germans now you may change your opinion it's what it is yeah yeah I saw a couple of videos like we posted on history hyenas of the or you posted on on the Instagram of of a uh not uh Armenian I'm sorry Ottomans I just get nervous when your hand goes like that right yeah Ottomans yeah it's more comfortable up here three quarters I'm not as comfortable yeah it's I would it down here yeah yeah yeah because nobody ever did this salute yeah that's great so the I meet the Ottomans were uh Muslim Nazis they have them there's video footage of them hitting the prayer rug with full Nazi SS uniforms yes yeah there was uh those were Croatians those were Croatian Croatian Muslims Croatian Muslims that sided with the Nazis and fought with the Ottomans no the Ottomans uh Ottoman Empire was over by World War Two good point yeah we're talking about world war talking about world war and they so this is the world war one this is the German helmet that had like a look like a dick on it had a little piece up yeah yeah yeah a little piece yeah and um so they sided with them and then that side lost so the Ottoman Empire uh was like hurting and it got beat and the British were in there and then so this is the first in 400 since the 14th century this is really where the Ottoman Empire is starting to take a beating now this is where the muzzies things started to turn on the muzzies this is where this is where the good guy struck to win a little bit this is where the artillery that uh Europe has a little stronger than what they got going over there and we and and they start to win a little bit more so let's just say we but I said they let's just say for this is the first time it's five hundred years for whatever reason Jesus had to send in the boy he sent in the boys Jesus started making a little bit of what we call a comeback it's what it is it was down it was like oh three quarter were down 15 yeah but guess we got on our team JC and JC's got a fucking sweet jumper nose to fucking move it out the ball and get open it's what it is yeah cuz yeah if you got better things to do then sitting the doctor's office talking about your hairline then I need you to start doing hymns hair loss treatment we really really believe that this could help you yeah okay we do because listen listen it's really good stuff they got ten in one shampoo's random advice expensive clinic visits that's not what you want right right you want hymns cuts through all that a Chris with real trusted treatments that are a hundred percent online because think of hymns as your digital treatments front door that gets you back to your old self with simple 100% online access to trusted real health concerns all in one place I want you to have nice hand I want you to have a nice penis wait are you telling me that this is doctor trusted ingredients that's what I'm telling you cuz and I'm a doctor a physical therapy so it's finasteride and monoxidil that can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months I promise cuz finasteride is yummy yummy in my tummy yes find the right hair regrowth treatment for you get your subscription access to 24 hour provider support and one a day treatment options right now all online you don't have to do any doctors visits for simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss ed weight loss and more visit hymns.com/hyenas that's hymns.com/hyenas for your free online visit hymns.com/hyenas feature products include compound to drug products which the FDA does not approve or verified for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required see website for full details restrictions and important safety information individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monoxidil finasteride all right cuz yeah look we both got dogs we do they want to keep our dogs healthy want to keep them cute so what I've been doing is in Josephine my Siberian Husky I've been putting a little rough greens dog probiotics in her food and she loves it oh cuz I love rough greens they also give you treats yes they give you a nice little star kit they sent to my to me there's some nice little treats I also give and I sprinkle it now because why not why not have a healthier dog why not and I've seen my dog doing so I've even started putting some of it in my smitty why don't recommend that we do not recommend it it's for dogs okay so traditional dog food is shelf stable for years because it's lifeless rough greens rough greens brings the nutrition back packed with live vitamins minerals probiotics digestive vaccines and omega oils Chrissy yummy dog food is dead food doctor Dennis blacks incredible background doctor Dennis black probably started rough greens with his pitbull what's created by nature of pathic doctor Dennis black is a 40 year cancer survivor and it's been helping humans and their pets for over 25 years yes it's it isn't dog food it's a live nutritional supplement you just sprinkling on that's what I do yeah you add it to your dogs food you don't have to change your dogs food to improve your dogs health just add a scoop of rough greens it's that easy don't change your dogs food just add rough greens rough greens is offering a free jump star trial bag you just cover shipping use discount code hyenas h y e n a s to claim your free jump star trial bag at rough greens dot com that's r u f f greens dot com promo code hyenas don't change your dogs food just add rough greens and watch the health benefits come alive so the Ottoman Empire is in ruins the Ottoman Empire is in ruins they start retreating back they get very paranoid because the Russians are in there Russians are Christian Russians are you know fucking with them the British are fucking with them the Greeks uh have their war of independence and fight them couple years the Greeks win so the Greeks take back mainland Greece so the the Ottomans are on their back feet they're gonna be right they're gonna be throwing their back sandals they're in their back sandals and the Armenians a lot of Armenian intellectuals in Constantinople start saying hey um we want we don't want to be killed anymore yeah we would like that we would like that we would like to not be murdered we don't want to be tortured anymore we want more equality we're we're persecuted minority and we want a little bit of equality wow and the Ottomans go um okay well we'll we'll cut a deal with you we'll kill you or we'll kill you yeah so that's the deal and so what we're gonna do is we're gonna accuse you of conspiring with the Russians again avail availability bias it probably happened a little bit whether Russians work with the Armenians the Armenians working with the Russians a little bit because they hated the Ottomans the Ottomans had a repression them but overall the intellectuals were going for equality like they were trying to say hey now just make us equal right and the Turks were like a boy named out of Turk came along in the young Turks right and they were like we're gonna create a nation state an ethnic nation state that's Muslims that's for Muslims and Armenians are not a part of this state where this is for Muslims these are the young Turks right remember Israel's unique nothing like this has ever happened in the in Middle East ever right it's just Israel that tried to create an ethnic state that's it the Muslims never did it right even you look at all the Muslim countries now you go they're all they're all religious ethno states how did that happen I don't know right I don't know how it happened but Israel's the only ones in the Middle East who've done this just remember that so what were the names of the young Turks Jesse can we just do you know them yawning yeah it's a songpiker songpiker songpiker and a songpiker it's what it is the young Turk yeah the young this young Turk revolution starts in about 1908 1908 they start they reinstated the Ottoman constitution so this couldn't have felt good for the Armenians right so the young Turks so it's also a song by Rod Stewart right so they they see they see their move they see their move when the Ottoman Empire is crumbling and the young Turks want to modernize and they want a nation state called turkey named after at a Turk so they're like we're going to be modern we're going to be Muslim we're going to be homogenous and we're going to get these people out so in the early 1900s when world war one started that let you know land that's now called Turkey what was that called Anatolia that was no Ottoman that was the Ottoman Empire but so they didn't have like a name it was called the Ottoman Empire got it yeah it was called the Ottoman Empire so guys like Talit Pasha and Enver Pasha right they started accusing the Armenians of being like the Spanish resistance of fifth pillar like there's a resistance inside the country and it's a threat and Armenians it's Armenians we got it we got it there so the Armenians are going we need we need a Freedom. So then what they do what the young Turks do is they go in to Constantinople They round up all the Armenian intellectuals and they send them on a plane Okay, send them on a plane to the sky. They had planes back then. What into the sky? Oh, right They put them into the sky so they started slitting your throats and throwing them in the rivers what they started getting rid of them Yeah, they started getting rid of them and then they said we're going to deport all the Armenians We're going to we're going to get them out right and so what they did was they said we're going to march you out Right, we're going to organize collect all of you I so so it's very similar to why know what people are thinking like oh, we're deporting Innocent people that we hear today call that ice, but they called it sand. They called it sand It was so much sand. We're sending you to the sand. We're sending you in the direction of Syria It happens to be a desert out there It's a one-way ticket. We're telling you that we're relocating you like you're moving you out But we're sending you into the desert right where like it's just you're gonna die. It's gonna die So they it was a death march and out there even though I'm fully on their Armenian side out there in the middle of the sand It's hard to tell who's who because especially when sandstorm picks up Everybody kind of just looks like a chicken cutlet waiting to get fried. That's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is Yeah, so they marched them They marched them out and on the way they would pluck them off. They'd they'd search shooting them whatever or they'd line them up and bank bank guy Not just men women children. Oh, oh women children. Yeah, just think about this is the holocaust for Armenian people This is if you are Armenians the Armenian pop we're talking about 1.5 million people. That's almost all of every Armenian on the planet Yeah, it's just like all Armenians is 1.5 million of them. They were like we're getting them out We're getting them out and so they marched them into the desert and they starved or they killed them or organized killing and we have Documents saying that these were instructions on what to do. They are the Turks claim now Because they don't want this to mess with their national history. They don't want anything to unravel So they say it was just a result of war just the you know the population exchanges They were attacking us. They'll take one instance where Armenian rebels fought against emincies See they were conspiring with the Russians and this is what we had to do. But tell us the truth Yawning one eye. The truth is they marched them out used that as an excuse Said it was happening everywhere and they got rid of them because they wanted to create a Muslim Turkish ethno state death toll which they did estimated 664,000 to 1.5 million they were killed through massacres individual killings and systematic starvation That's what happened because they wanted a Muslim ethno state So what happens then? So what happens is is That happens in what 19 14 19 15 16 19 is one this genocide is which by the way the term genocide was made up by a Polish Lawyer name Raphael Lemkin Yeah, so that the term genocide really comes from this massacre. Yeah, this is sort of just like history, right? This is just what we see throughout history. So And it's ugly. So they they killed them all, you know, however many died one either Six you know anywhere from 600,000 1.5 millions were killed and So the Turks were on their way to creating their new Turkey the modern state of Turkey, but they still had to deal with the Greeks right still to deal with the Greeks so the Greeks tried to take back Smirna they tried to take back Constantinople and they lost they got crushed, right? So but the Greeks tried after they got their freedom and they they were Greece was back they were like let's try now that the Ottoman Empire is down on its luck Let's try to retake Constantinople for Jesus Christ Jesus Christ and they lost and they lost in Smirland and Greeks were Massacred a massacre a massacred and then They decided we're gonna they were forced into a population exchange, right? So what they did was they killed How many Greeks did they kill? It was it's not called the Greek in genocide for whatever, but they so we had the Greco Greco Turkish War from 2019 to 22 and The Greeks lost tried to take that back Constantinople didn't work It's the last stumble right and then the population had changed they were forced in by the treaty of Lusani or whatever it's called to The Treaty of Lusane right 1923 So they were going to they said all the Greeks got to get out right now these are Greeks that have lived there Through to the Byzantine times for thousands of years Thousands of years so you're in your home We're gonna confiscate your home and you're gonna go to mainland Greece a place. They never live. No, they don't know anything It's basically going to another country now and and and and I'm sure things worked out because Greeks are known as very accepting of newcomers Right So but they were Greeks so they were accepted good and then the Turkish there was about 400,000 Turkish people who were colonizers who had moved into mainland Greece during the Ottoman Empire that the Greeks Way so I'm seeing This is the history class that just tells you what it is. I mean, I thought if would be honest they were they were the bad guys Right they were coming into mainland Greece so they weren't well received is what I'm saying exactly because they were I'm not saying I thought that but I'm saying to a Greek person who's like, you know living in downtown out of 100% 100% yeah 100% they hadn't been there that long couple hundred years tops some of them even 50 years 20 years They were Turkish overseers Turkish administrators Turkish people who assimilated maybe married Whatever they were they were out it right so The population exchanged and then along the way we had something that the Greeks consider a little bit of a genocide And we're waiting for Jesse to pull that part up and obviously let me just ask you this real quick during this time though, right because I you know No one Greeks the Greek culture I know through you The these the the Ottomans the the you know conquerors who were now coming in to move to mainland Greece I mean you can't hit a prayer rug in the middle of downtown Athens in front of Greek people no, you cannot you're not gonna do that. No, you're gonna know they weren't there was no call to prayer For these Ottomans that wasn't happening. It was happy. They built a mosque right in the Parthenon in Greekropolis. Yeah But during the Ottoman era. Oh Jordan. I'm saying, but we're now talking after the genocide When the Ottomans just moved in there. They were like escaping almost right they didn't they the Greeks were not gonna allow that like I said You have to finish your full Prescription of anti-biotic Yeah Glad for me my question was this my so we took every pill that was prescribed my question fee was this right now Yeah, you know the answer. Is there a mosque in current day Greece right now? No There's not one mosque No, there's a few they're living. Where is it trace? There's Western Thracian Eastern Thracian so they're all in Thraces So it's technically Greek. There's not a lot to happen No, no, no There may be a what's going on now? There may be like it you know with all the in the face region historic mosques Yeah, his Greece has over 300 active historic mosques in the Thracian region. They have a small tiny Muslim minority that's living in Greece, so but they were historically there We just took the land back and we left them there and why I say we I say they right So Athens opened its first. There's only one in 2020 in 2020 state run It's date right so they can open and close it when they want and you're not allowed to they say you can come in here But you're not allowed to pray or be Muslim. Yeah, and there's not really anything else And there's push back to this right now. Yeah, cuz I gotta push back. I got to be honest with you Um, you know, I went you know in the five boroughs of New York City mosque is trying to open up like peterias So I was just wondering how it wasn't Greece. Well the the mosque in the Acropolis was just removed Soon as it was gonna stay there. No, that might have been the first order. It wasn't gonna stay there It wasn't gonna stay there. So there's a few like historical mosques from the period that they left for historical reasons or whatever But there's not many I think the I think in Greece the percentage of Muslims is very low is it what is it one to three percent Something like that very low. The lowest percentage of Muslims in Europe is Poland. Yes. Yeah, they don't they don't I don't think they have Well, can you also just a two next is there a mosque in the nation of Poland anywhere? Yeah, yeah Yeah, 91.6 are ethnically Greek 2% 2.2% 22% and point four to 52% it's two percent. It's too far. It's a comma 2% Muslim is very low Yeah, four to 15% are 8. Yes, but that's what you gotta you gotta keep a loop Recognizes it We're just kidding. We're having a joke. We're joking around Yeah, it's at the firehouse what they said. Yeah, that's just one. That's what they say Kages free immune system. You want to remind the immune system what we're dealing with oh, wow There aren't mosques in Muslim prayer places in Poland. Interesting. Oh, there's only 17. Yeah, there's 17 poems a pretty big country Yeah, 17. Yeah Yeah, that's what it is. I mean, they're 17 on Nick block people good people listen They're good people there most people are just you know most Muslims are just What it is yeah, we're just messing around. We're just talking about history. No, we're just talking about history because There's only one problem with quince what and that problem is I don't know how other clothing stores are gonna stay in business Because quince is the best dude this sweater. I'm wearing is from quince this sweater if I bought this in like any other store It'd be like $250 it was 50 bucks because sweater quince if you I'm being honest. I think all my entire wardrobe is now quince. I just bought a breathable comforter that my wife saw on quince when we used my promo code and we bought it. Quince is dope, get the app, I'm telling you, use our promo code if you see anything you like. It's got so much high quality good clothes that I am using it to shop with my own promo code. That is the truth, my friend. 'Cause the best part is the prices, I think they're 50 to 60% less than similar brands. How? Because quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middle man. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last and makes getting dressed easy. Okay, all you gotta do is go to quince.com/high heinus. You're gonna get free shipping, 365 day returns. It's also available in Canada too. Go to qunce.com/high heinus for free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com/high heinus. I probably, I would say obviously, you know, we buy from, we buy other, sometimes you gotta go to other stores, but I would say quince is probably 90% of the purchases in my house are from quince.com. Well, that's what's happened. It's really happened in my house. Like I said, we just gotta comfort her. You can't go wrong by taking a peak, take the peak. They got nice clothes. So the Armenian genocide, why don't we learn about it? More in school, why is it only ever? Why is everything always about the Jews? Why don't we know more about, why don't we have to do digging for the Armenian genocide? Well, because, what does Kim Kardashian say? Does she believe there's an Armenian genocide? Of course she does. Yeah, of course she's Armenian. So of course she does. Like I said, almost, almost all historians say it happened. We have the original documents that confirm that it happened. There's a lot of real, politic reasons why other places don't admit it, right? So certain countries, Turkey's a NATO member. So it's like, and they're very adamant. Like the Turks get mad at this. So Mamdani just to get back to the original point. Sorry, yes. Mamdani issues a tweet on the day as a Muslim guy. And he says we're, today we're recognizing the Armenian genocide and he goes hard too. Well, look what, Mamdani just got a check mark. I mean, people were very, very happy. Yeah, people were very surprised by the tweet because the tweet was like detailed. And he went, today marks the 11th anniversary of the Armenian genocide. Now, so for Turks, Muslim Turks hearing this, this is bad. This, they're going, I mean, and you can see the comments, they were like, you fake, you two face, you're not a real Muslim. So he goes, we marked the 11th anniversary of the American genocide as we honor the 1.5 million Armenians. Well, he took the high number, murdered by the Ottoman Empire. I mean, this is wild across modern day Turkey, Syria and Armenia. We must refuse to let history repeat itself in 2020. And then he goes even farther. The military forces of Azerbaijan and Turkey attack the Armenian population. This is happening now. So what happened was Azerbaijan, which is Muslim, took land from Armenia, like they lost land, like they had a war. Unfortunately, Azerbaijan is militarily assisted by Israel. Israel has given them the upper hand over Armenia because Israel views Azerbaijan, who are Shi'i, but they have problems with the Shi'i in Iran. So they like to bolster Azerbaijan against Iran because they're right there. They can spy right over. Even though they're Muslims, they're the other team of the Muslims. Sort of. National problem with the Shi'i Muslims, but the Shi'i Muslims. No, no, no, no, they're all Shi'i. But this is, you know, it's not just Shi'i. You gotta remember, this is the power of nation states and jostling in the area for power. So Azerbaijan and Iran have problems basically about land and resources, things like that, but they're all Shi'i Muslims. So, but Israel picks Azerbaijan and unfortunately, Israel helped Azerbaijan do this to Armenia directly by giving them weapons because Israel gets cheap oil from Azerbaijan and also Azerbaijan has a problem with Iran. So they're utilizing that. So it's just, it's just looking out for Israel. Which is like what's new, right? So Armenia has, so he's acknowledging that. That's probably why I did it too, because he knows that the Israelis are with the Azerbaijanis. And my point is it's a complicated neighborhood. There's a lot of stuff going on. Israel moved into the hood. Right, it's a bit like, if Israel wasn't there, there'd be ethnic cleansing and genocide. We're all comfortable. Do you see what I see is this from these tweets or all this explaining and you gotta tell me about this group and that group and how one's posturing in Jakarta, for the other, choose Jesus Christ. It's a lot easier. And Jesus, you know what I'm talking about. And like we said on the Patreon, if you wanna go where the wild things are on a certain Patreon episode, which was one of our, one of the moments that our fans over there love the most, we just are sick of the old sauce. That's what it is. We like the new sauce, we like Sriracha. That's what it is. Yeah, we just don't like your thousand island sitting at the salad bar. We do Sriracha now. We make a good sauce over at patreon.com/historyhikingness. That's a good sauce. And keep your old world sauce away from the new sauce. Now let's see what some of these comments are, which by the way are 99% of them are bots. I think we have to say this now once a month, if you're arguing with anyone, especially when it comes to politics on the internet, you are arguing with a bot. Right, so he go, oh, so, do you know what a real genocide looks like? This is from your title bomb. Yeah, this is not real. Yeah, yeah, the thing that the Gaza genocide is much bigger than the Armenian genocide. Yeah, you gotta do that. You gotta tie it to something like that. Yeah. I had heard that the Turks were propagandized and to believe in the Ottomans didn't do a homicide. But holy shit, I was not expecting this comment section. Why are we remembering the actions of foreigners in a foreign country? It's unfortunate. Once you see the squiggly lines, yeah, that's what you say. Those are the squiggly lines. Once you see the squigglys, you know, it's unfortunate. The popular mayor of New York, Mr. Mandami, allowed himself to be instrumentalized by radical Armenian lobbies by repeating the distorted claims about the events of 1915. Okay, so these people are saying that they blew it out of proportion. There was no genocide. Yeah, holy shit. You actually said something of actual importance. And then the real massacre was carried out by Armenian gangs, who massacred 2.4 million people in Anatolia. The Turks opened their archives. The Armenians refused. Armenians have to apologize to the whole world, but especially to the Turks. Yeah, so listen, Israel is doing the same thing. Right, all right. But this is all, they're doing nothing different than other countries have done in that area. It's just, this is what happens in this area. Right. This is what they do. This is their culture. It's what it is. It's their culture over there. So, look, and, you know, so what do we do? Do we remember the Armenian genocide? Do we not? You're at the history of heinous podcast. Are we in remembrance? Are we in remembrance of the Armenian genocide? It's a historical fact. Right. So it's just what happened. And I'm a Greek. So it also happened. I know from, you know, just being a Greek. And I'm also the descendant of an Anatolian Greek. Right. So my ancestors lived under the Ottoman Empire for 400 years. They weren't living in Greece. They were living under Turkish rule. So like you have almost, like first hand the counts, like stories that have second hand accounts, all right. That's what my family came here. They were escaping the Ottoman Empire after the collapse from the island of Imvoros, which is now squiggly lines. So most historians estimate about 300,000 to 900,000 Greeks were killed by the Ottomans and forced marches and deportations, starvation, mass killings. And these were all Anatolian Greeks. So we call it the Greek genocide, the Greeks, which is 1914 to 1923. So that's what we-- but the widely cited range is 300 to 900 in the early 20th century, you know, after the collapse. Yeah, so I mean, yeah, 'cause-- And then you got the Assyrians. And so what the Turks, the young Turks did in Constantinople is they deported or killed or executed or ethnically cleansed the Assyrians, the Armenians, and the Greeks, which were the three big minority groups, and they just all were kicked out. And Turkey became a, you know, absolute religious ethnostate of Muslims. Right. And that's where it remains today. That's where we are now. But Turkey is an interesting place 'cause the Muslim country, but it's the only probably predominantly Muslim nation that's NATO, right? That's right. Do you know any other Muslim-nato countries? I think you're right. Is that right? I don't can't think of another one. Yeah. I mean, that's so, because of Saudi Arabia, they're not. No, they're not. No way. Albania. Albania. But they're mostly Muslim. No, they're half, they're half and half. The Muslims are half and half. Albania is interesting 'cause it's half and half. Right. It's literally like, they're calling here a Muslim majority. Yeah, but not by a lot. Check out what the percentages are. And while you do, I'll tell you something. I have Albanian neighbors that are Muslim. Yeah. These are the countries that do not support it. They do not recognize the Armenian genocide. Turkey officially denies, says the official position death occurred during war not a planned extermination. We have Primary documents that say otherwise, and evidence. And obviously the Armenians know. Azerbaijan supports Turkey's stance, influenced by regional conflict with Armenia, like I just told you. Then you got Pakistan, which you can always rely on them. Yeah, they deny that it happened. Okay, Israel, it's debated internally, but not formally recognized by Israel. Okay, but we know why they're doing that. We know why they're doing that. Some countries in Central Asia, where the Turks are from, they don't like it, parts of the Middle East and Africa rejected. So everywhere else accepts it. Over 30 countries, 34 countries formally recognized. United States formally recognizes it. I think just recently, I just just recently, because we were sensitive with Turkey, because Turkey was our ally. And yeah, we have our bases there against the USSR. So the United States, so this is a big deal for the Armenians. This is a big deal for the Kardashian family. Right. The United States officially in 2019 recognized it. So it was not long ago that they officially recognized the Armenian genocide. So it's what it is. It's what it is. So it just passed, and it's still a hotly contested issue. And that's just what it is. I mean, if you look at the Middle East, before Israel, there was programs in Iraq against the Jews. Right. And then after '48, their property was confiscated, and they were kicked out of all the Muslim countries. All those countries are off now, also pretty much religious, ethno-states. It's the Middle East infection. It's what it is. Wei Songshin. It's what it is. I mean, so when you're watching the NBA playoff tonight, think about the Armenian genocide. Think about the Armenian genocide. And like we say in history, Armenians, Armenian women are welcome. They are welcome. They are smoke shows. We are released to babes of Armenia. And a lot of them probably have bushes, and I'm mostly into that lately. I've been watching a lot of porn with full bush. Yeah. The Armenian chicks, like, listen, if you're an African-American, you want to release the babes of Armenia because they're coming to you first. Yeah. They seem to really like to go that way. Yeah, they're beautiful women. And the men are usually short, fat, and hairy, right? It's what it is. And the Armenian guys, if you could just send us picks at the history, in his Instagram, or patreon.com/historainers, or at ChrisDCom, if you could DM me hot picks of yourself, if you're a hot Armenian guy. Shout out to the Armenians. We recognize the Armenian genocide here at the history, Ienas. Now, because as always, at the end of every single episode, we like to recognize the newest members of a little place called patreon.com/historainers. We like to think about who the funniest names are. We read out every single name, but we picked the funniest names. Now, the last two weeks have been a little bit, not as they've been good, not great. But I'm feeling that we have the positive spirits of 1.5 million massacred Armenians that are going to help this list be funny. If anything, the only way that we can remember them here on the show is to have a funny list for them. Because we discriminate against nobody, we are funny first here. We love all people, including Muslims, Armenians, especially your women. - And through what it is. - Yep. The guys, I mean, you know what? I just don't care as much about them. - No, they're just hairy and not hot. - I just don't care, whatever country you're from, I don't care about the guys as much. - I don't care. - Chris, he cares about the guy. I don't care about the guys, I don't want to look at you. - Yeah. - I just want to look at your ladies. - If you want to ask me where the hottest guys probably live, I'm going to say, probably Montenegro and Italy are the hottest guys. - That's a good call. - Yeah, that's a good call. - Sweetest guys are hot, too, and they have no fumes. - Nigerian guys are good looking. - Yeah, they're jacked, I mean, yeah. I got, if me and jazz everybody don't work out long time, I want to have sub-Saharan African wife. - That's what you want? - Yeah, because a lot of them are Christian and they listen. (laughs) - All right, here we go. - I have one thing here. - Kyle, why do you want it to go Asian for that reason? - No, but I've been thinking about it lately, I'd like an African wife, you do. - Yeah, okay. - Robert De Niro? - Yeah, so what I have to do is, 'cause she's going to want to have kids, what I have to do is, I'll have to stop taking TRT, because it shrinks your nuts and you become infertile, but what I can start doing is taking a little thing called HCG, which will get my comeback. - Yeah. - So it'll get me pumping back with my swimmers. - I figured if I ever had to have a black wife, I'd have to get a penis extender just to get past the cheeks. - Yeah, it's what it is right here. - Here we go, Kyle Clarkston, then we got Epstein Island Cleaning Service. He was going for some, it's just not there, right? - Yeah. - It's just not there. - Steven Nunez, Tucker Carlson is an FF, then we got the spot on my hand candle with no feeling AKA my teenest weanest, okay? - Go on for some. - Then we got Sandra D. Foot fetish, AKA camel toes. Put 'em on the list. - Put 'em on the list, here we go. - Put 'em on the list. - camel toes, camel toes, very funny. - Yep. - Then we got, how's your beam 13? - How's your beam 13? - Yeah, how's your beam? - Okay, I like it, I like it. - Then we got Asian Caucasian cuisines, where two wongs do make it white. (laughs) - Lists. - Way song she aims. - It's what it is. - Bang, bang. - Yeah. - That's a bang, bang. - Then we got lost weight and now my belly flap is a fleshlight. (laughs) Kid bangs is on belly flap. - Yes, yes. - The fumes and that thing have to be, oh yes. Then we got Maximilian Lane, Stephen Santos, Tigers belong towards, not onto road, okay? Dr. Quentin Tarantino, MD Certified Pediatrist. - Okay. - Okay. - I want Eileen Glue to Triple Cork 1440 on my face. (laughs) - This is a request. - Yeah. - Then we got, can I finance the Tim Dillon episode with a 408 credit score? (laughs) - No, you can't. - You cannot, yeah. - We have a new one up, don't we? - We do, I think we do. - We said the $15,000 left. - Yeah, that's right. - And it's a real episode. - You want to get that fit to the actual real episode? - Yeah, I mean, if some rich guy wants to buy it, it is an actual real episode. - Patreon, Greg Milner, Malabut Bueno, then we got, I'm like Richard Gira, but my gerbil's are applesauce, okay? - Put an applesauce in it. - Yeah. - No ding's protest. - We have that one already though. - Did it make something similar? - Or no. - Then we got God on my knees and worship Chrissy's piece, so he covered me with the shroud of urine. - It's good enough for the rest, I think so. - Go on there. - The shroud of urine instead of the shroud of urine. - Yeah, I like it. - I mean, it's really good. The beginning was a little too much. - But it's almost, it's too good. - We'll never be trusting around my nephew again for letting him listen to this. Sincerely, thanks for that out, big Drexler. - Drexler. - Then we got sniffing seats at the local DES office. - Okay. - Clayton Herring. James Buchanan's Unic, AKA just a straight guy. See more buttes, Queen Laquifa. - We've had, we've had. - Yeah. - The heavy-set ghost of Staten Island, Omar's head towels and driveway rugs, LLC. - Glad of 14. - It's a nice chicken figure. - Drive-way, right? - It's a chicken figure. Uncle Ross. (laughing) - What a way song she ain't. - Get the sparrage. - My roof's leaking worse than my dick. - Okay, that's a chicken figure. - Lexi Montgomery. - Rim-to-rim toilet shits, Jim. (laughing) - Drexler. - Hillary Martz, free Epstein. Easy on the witch hazel, I can't fill my tongue. (laughing) - You just put a button in there, chicken figure. - Chris Graves, Justin Goldner. Just a clumsy Frisbee, AKA whoopsie Goldberg. - Chicken figure. - Okay, that's why you think we go whoopsie. - No, no, no, no, you make the call. No, I think it's more of a chicken figure. - You're into it, you think it's right. - You think it's going over the wall? - Alright, yeah. - We're giving 'em out today. We feel like this is Oprah, this is Oprah episode. - Yeah. - Everyone gets one. - Tyler Bailey, Andrew Aguilera, Muzzi on meth, call me a rug chaser. - Dresden Mosh, Yannis stop exposing, owes the magic Frisbee, please, for your safety. (laughing) Drexler. - Yeah. - Claire Starling, then we got Jarrell Hackett, Yani Sin Solo, Tug Fan, Dean Grouw, Kevin Rudoch, Cody Ames, Bay Ridge Girl, struck by Jewish Lightning, once the dings moved in. (laughing) Okay, claiming Frisbee Fluffer, Fran Moreno, Byron Jones, at what point is it considered a micro piece asking for a friend? Put 'em on the list. - Okay, there it is, yeah. He's actually measuring it out, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. - Very funny. - A detonator, AK, Muzzi cell phone. Undebatable, trans cock feels like real cock. (laughing) - What about the list? - All right, why not? - It's not debatable, he's saying he's wet and he figured it out, he's so undebatable. - Yeah, yeah. - Salvatore Costa, they weren't, they, they weren't, oh, they weren't, ovens, it was hot yoga. - Yeah, he's way more senior. - All right. - Erica's today, caught Yanni's slurping on Chrissy Skin Tag because he thought it was an extra toe. - Okay. - Cronky 82, Jeff S blocking the straight of form Muzzi with my ball sack. Eric Fulgerman, Mama Taylor rejoined patrons. So Chrissy say my name not high, okay? - Yeah, he probably, so he, that means he joined when you were on the, when you were on the, when you were on, - When you were on the, yeah. - When you were on the, yeah. Arjun Paruwal, Mamdani's new whipping pig, - Wait, that's the booty boo award. - Yeah, Arjun Paruwal, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty. - Mamdani's new whipping pig, help I missed the truffles. I have cash up. I'm not black a law mandating child support payments call it the lee Roy father bill La lee Roy father well, yes, he went for something. It's interesting dresser Sydney Sweeney. Please chimney sweep my frisbee meat like a ziti Kids got a request very funny. Yeah Cold Mexican prison cell call it the ice cube Huh tired of being robbed by homeless guys Move yeah Such a squeak that when my son was born the doctor handed me to him Put him on the list very funny contender. That's a contender very very that is a contender. Yeah, yeah Contender it is statistically impossible for there to be no gays in your family Drexler and we got Mike Piazza squeaky side piece the Metswood of one in two thousand if you ate more pineapple Okay, okay, Lee Roy Jedi a case Jesus way seen walked in a one twenty three and me made me three fifths the man I used to be Live 14. What do I do at that it's just a good? What do I do it that it's smart? It's layered Nick you're the you have the most morals on here. What do I do with that it makes it? I mean, I mean if you want my honest opinions a contender. It's a contender. I believe it Then we got Anne Frank's meat curtain Jesus It's awful. It's off. We can't do it chicken figure. Cameron Weeda, Chris Pastana, Noah Ross, Del Simonson, Benny two nuts Benny two nuts gets a chicken figure Badline then we got adding turn around and don't wipe to my inner circle because I'm in the program An actual seven-foot Puerto Rican pro basketball player Matt Lopez screwed in wow wow. Wow. Wow. That's awesome. Maybe it's him. It is him. Yeah. Thank you, Matt Lopez. Franky fat fumes Huh, hailey grandpa was a frisbee, but I take the host and have a three-inch post. Okay frisbee Okay, do a few more Chris Satavida J.G. Indian dating app call it connect the dots. Oh Jesus List it's gotta go dude. I mean we got a contender. I mean she's that's Christ. That's good We'll finish this. Yeah, I think we got too many but we got to just okay Chris Goose step in on Yannis's polyfemus Fallen forks massage parlor T finger Gabby What Fallen forks massage parlor. What's that? Oh, it's a good one for the noise Chinese Chicken finger T finger Gabby LGBTQ punk band Ways on she ain't locked it or what? Hispanic because has Hispanic because so I got last night's glue in my hoodie what it is. I don't get it. Okay gay Korean Jew named Suckdick Jew Skylark yoga on Chrissy's lawn now. I'm the HOA's most wanted right Eric rarely Michael Namin Mocker I hate when they asked for a tip at the dog brothel Jesus Christ Yannis Kegel eyes Kegel eyes is good chicken finger Michael Rudnick Cuz my aunt won't tell me about the Lakers Nuggets game in oh three What is that it cuz my aunt won't tell me about the Lakers Nuggets game in oh three I don't get it. Oh Was that all three? That's crazy. Oh, so you say that's his aunt. Yeah, it's good one. Yeah Landon Browder Tom. I don't know the latest lingo since I'm on F-84 and I have to watch them all in order since I'm Frank's and beans Yeah, yeah, it's the best way to catch up if you're new. I mean just one by one. You got a long library to go through Kiersten Jose no fumes bettas. It was oh three. Wow Good joke cult Starless Napoleon Bonaparte Chrissy's ass. Okay. That's what he did tossing salad in the mud kitchen. Oh Jesus Matt Jesse's Tangerine Peele Yummaka Wesson she ain't Yeah, yeah, we're like five contenders. Yeah, I mean just so we got to stop it's what we can't yeah random K Wesson she ain't in a one and see coming The math does check out yeah Sean Jackson Devin Pember Chrissy D pissy on My knees while yani p films me's Devin Pember Rick James Anthony Carsten Connor Andrews Daniel Gallagher pop block and drop it for sloppy top from yana's popus Lisa succome Alex Bertram milk me Went to the glory hole to get sucked and accidentally got fucked hashtag Chrissy's what dream Jay the Nigerian piece aka the African booty catcher wow Chrissy D yani p still waiting on my grown up peen Okay Kyle Big Paul's Frank Garcia Steven Escobado and last but not least dad's Alie Roy mom got ding dong ditched Vlad 14 It's good you want to put it's good. What do I do Nick it's up to you. We got to go to Nick I thought we had a ding dong ditch before maybe we did okay all right Drexler's not gonna win but you know Drexler. Okay, so we got all right So here we go. By the way. These are meanings that are up there. They're so hot. It's hot. It's like it's like take yeah Okay, so let's here's the list um Sandra D foot fetish aka camel toes We're gonna drag see thank for playing your a legend, but you know Michael Jordan exists Asian Caucasian cuisines We're two wongs do make it white Any other day. It's unfortunate. You run another list. It could work lose weight and now my belly flap is a flashlight It's a really good one. It's again a Drexler Just a clumsy frisbee aka whoopsie goldberg That's a funny one, but you know, it's just we're just you know any other day Got on my knees and worship Chrissy's piece so he covered me with the shroud of urine That is really good to me, but it is also these are all winners. Okay, but you got a Drexler. It's it's the list is what it is Clyde Drexler. He's one of the greats. Yeah So then we got undebatable trans cock feels like real cock We're gonna Drexler that as well any other day at what point is it considered a micro piece asking for a friend Very good. We're gonna Drexler that as well. Okay Such a squeak that when my son was born the doctor handed me to him What we're gonna do is we're gonna keep that in the tent what okay? Yeah, okay? Let's see what it is Then we got 23 and me made me three fifths the man. I used to keep that in the tent Yeah, where it heats up into the tent tree heats up Indian dating app call it connected dots. We're keeping that in the tent Yeah, what he is then we got Jesse's tangerine peel Yamaka we're keeping that in the tent. We got a four so we got a four off Yeah, we got four good ones. So let me read him again. Yeah Let me just read them uninterrupted in such a squeak that when my son was born the doctor handed me to him 23 and me made me three fifths the man I used to be Indian dating app call it connected dots or Jesse's tangerine peel Yamaka Oh, I love them all for different reasons. So Here's what I'll say just to now we're down because we got four I think such a squeak that when my son was born the doctor handed me to him is hilarious But just because we have to be nitpicking now what would have been funnier is if he said such a squeak that when my son was born the doctor handed me to my wife Because he's the baby To him doesn't make sense we're nitpicking now we nitpicking but we have to yeah it's still like extremely funny But just to be nitpicky you're as far as straight funny right he's he's he's he's unfortunately in the wrong era you yes Just it's a Drexler. I mean, I mean I liked him because this is the most he was the least controversial Of our picks, but unfortunately we are married to the funny to me It's between three different groups and that and that's usually it comes down to the blacks the Indians and just And it's between 23 and me made me three fifths to me and I used to be for the black boat yeah Indian dating app call connected dots for the brown Muslim boat Yeah, and then Jesse's tangerine peel Yamaka Okay, here's the deal here's the deal yeah These are all equally funny. I want you to know that these are all home runs I want you to know that their home runs for different reasons right the tangerine peel is a is inside right so it's inside So I give you the like attentive fan real fan award, but I'm going to say unfortunately It's the wrong error for you. Okay, you want to want to championship if these other two word around now if you don't know If you need to the show Jesse used eats a lot of tangerines. Yeah, so what this fan is saying is that he's taking the peel and putting it on his head because Jesse is half a joke So it's the funny is off the charts. Okay, so that's what fun is of the charts connect the dots as a dating side is just hard To beat for the funny. It's hard to be for the funny the thing that scares me about it though is is did he take it from somewhere Has has somebody said google right now in the end dating app called connected dots if we don't find it on the internet at all I think it's winter then I think that's the winner because the three fifths man one is hilarious, but it's a little edgy It's a little edgy, but it's also hilarious. Yeah (laughing) - Uh, no? No? - You did it. typically no no funny jokes what do you call an Indian dating site let's see let's see click on dad comedy HQ see if it's a dad joke see down three dad what click on that yeah see see see see what it is huh let's see see what he says have this second largest penis in the ocean yeah when I'm swimming all right let's see what do you get if you stuffed your hand up a chip she's where she is on period you probably is red let's see what do you call an Indian dating site connect connect the dots we have we got caught see yeah see cuz you knew it cuz it was almost too obvious it's too much not that I thought of it right but if he did it would have he would have been the guy that created yeah so for me though then that brings us to an interesting point do we have to do we do we resurrect the tangerine from the dead like JC I because I think 23 me made me three fifths demand I used to be is hilarious but I just think just these tangerine pillionical also made you laugh the most and I personally think for this list the more inside the better this gives this gives you know an incentive for the fans to really listen I think it's very funny I think it's very funny I think it's funny enough to win I think three fifths of men let me say something right now you're you're a borderline walked into one you know we I don't know if we can have your name up in lights that's what that's the thing we can enjoy you at the end of the year you will be in contention for the walk you are in contention for the walk into one Tony please make note but this one is going to the tangerine eater Jesse Skittoro congratulations go to history and his back's here now name up in lights you are today's winner Jesse's tangerine pilliomacott paytruck.com says history and his every single Thursday youtube.com says history and his new episodes let us know what you want to hear we love you