The 30s Episode

♪ The Dirt is 30 ♪ ♪ Fuck me, I'm way past 30 ♪ ♪ The thirties are a time to reflect and take it all in ♪ ♪ See you on the other side ♪ ♪ We'll be back again next week ♪ (audience cheering) - Sometimes in the beginning of our relationship, I would imagine that we were sharing the same floor at work, and that she was like a assistant account person for like a different brand. - Oh, that's cool. - Like sexually? - Yeah. - I would imagine like fucking like next to the Xerox machine, whatever. - Yeah, I love a work crush. - Work crushers are so innocent. I think they keep you a little bit alive, but I never crossed the road. - Work crushers, you never had one, right? I didn't get a ref. - You never like. (laughing) - He never worked at like a company. - No, he worked for the ref. He was one of the refs. - He was one of the refs. - Yeah, when you were working in the working world. - Yeah, I would dress up the day for your work crush, you know what I mean? - Yeah, it got me out of bed 15 minutes earlier. - Who was your biggest work crush? - It was more respect, I guess. And it's more. - His name was respect? - Work respect. - His name was work respect. - Kind of grip. And his name wasn't work respect. (laughing) - So, who was your work crush? - What was her name? Sandy Finkelstein? - I'm not naming any names. I just remember, there was a girl who like, you know, was Cuba Jason one time. - Cuba Jason? - At like this ad agency in Philly. It was just cool. It was just cool. It was just good energy to have like an opposite sex, similar aged woman, your chit chat. And I forget if we were in relationships or what. - I never even really chit chat with them. I just, it was just in my head. It was just a little slightly more exciting to say, I respect you in my head. Now that I didn't respect the other people, I take that back. I respected everybody. It's a very innocent thing that I shouldn't have to defend to you two corn dogs. - Now you don't have to defend it? - I'm the most loyal, am I not? - To the soil. - To the soil. I'm loyal to the soil. - She is so low. - Have you had a work crush since you've been dating? - Hell no. - Chuck, you want to come inside and fill up a job real quick? Would you want to stay there frozen in time and space? I just found out a lot about the universe by the way. - Oh, I'd love to hear more. - What'd you find? - I'm not really able to speak about it. - Chuck, did I do it freezing? - Yeah, you were good. - Tell me what you learned. - Can you stay still, Moji? Try to stay, okay. We all have to try to stay completely still. Who's gonna go first? Okay, Chuck, we're gonna assess Kristen first. Okay, you're gonna freeze right now. And you're just frozen. You're frozen in time. Hope you just blinked, so. - I should add a little more. - And you moved everywhere else. - That's not fair. - Maybe you should start freezing now. Now, one of your eyes is drooping as if you just had a stroke or Chuck's frozen now. - He's swaying. - Oh, his is so good. Chuck, I didn't realize you had freckles all over your iris. - Oh, it's his finutia. - It's so easy for him to do it 'cause it's just like, it's being held up. - What's the thing on your eye, Dave? What's it called? Do you check something? - Chuck something. - I mean this. - Check that kitten. There's no way that can be your breath. It's got. - Chuck, I think it might be a little bit your breath. You had tuna fish, didn't you? - All right. - Okay, Chuck, you're done. You're done. - You won. - Well, I didn't even go eat. - Oh my God, my context fell out. - I didn't even start much of you on me to try. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I wanna see you freeze and-- - Was that impressive? - It was very impressive. - I don't know that any of this is that impressive. - I think it's pretty impressive. - I'm good at staring contest. - I'm not. - Okay, I don't know if freeze. - Right? - No, I'll tell you one. - Okay. - Now. (laughing) - You are moving just as much as you're swaying. Can neither of you guys-- - No, he's good right now. Right now he's good. It's okay, don't look at us. Or now you gotta stay looking at us. He's good. - Yeah. What a skill to have. - Well, stay like that. I just wanna, don't move 'cause I really wanna get it. I really wanna get this on camera. - Bunny, maybe your second talent is you can just freeze. - Freaky. (laughing) - Smile for. (laughing) - Did that scare you? - Yeah. - That was cool. - Do you ever feel like after you've smiled for a long time, it's like, it's so hard to produce a smile? - Do you know? - Like when you're chatting or making small talk with people, like-- - I never think I have to smile. I think I have to look in the eyes, listen to what they're saying. I never think I have to smile. - I'm not good at casually getting out of the small talk. - Oh yeah, getting out is, I get a lot of anxiety about getting out. One of the things that really stresses me out that I fear in life, I don't care who it's with, it could be like maybe you're true, the only two people I wouldn't have this concern with would be like an eight hour car ride where it's me and one other person. Like I've never experienced that. I think that the thought of that is terrifying. I think that's, I don't even-- - You just experienced it with me three days ago. - No, just one on one. And you're probably the only two people I can do it with. It's not that I'm scared of the silence. - I'd have to have music on it. I would never be able to do it without music on to anchor the background. - Do you guys talk the whole time you're driving somewhere? - Yeah. - No, we don't. - We don't have many silent moments. - Yes, we do. Recently, I started saying let's have some silent moments. - Right. Oh, so we need to have many silent moments. - Benny and I talk the most of all of your friends? - Yeah, you both talk so much. - Who do you think talks more? - You. - Oh, wow. - Really? - You both talk so much and I love it. Like, I think that's why I'm the perfect best friend for each of you that's how much I fear the silent moment is that I never have to even worry about it with you guys. I kind of just get to react to whatever nonsense either one of you are spewing out of your mouth. - Isn't it crazy, Dave? You would think he was like a big talker. - You'll talk a lot if there's an argument to be made or if you feel unjust. - Or if you feel unjust. - You need to seek justice. - Well, yeah, every vigilante would speak up. - The ones that justice needed to be needed to look like your brain just froze. You might be having a stroke right now. - Wait, how old are you, Mochi? - 35. - Ooh. - What do you mean? I'm like so much younger than you guys. You guys literally are in a grade above me. - Wow. - You're like pretty much. (crying) - It is so good. (crying) Once he learns that a woman is 35 or up, that's what is body down. - Yeah, my body's in control. - What are you, are you ditching the 35-year-old? - No. - Are you with the 35-year-old? Is that? - My part is 33. - We've had the 30s conversation so much between Dave and I. - I'd like to know. - What's the 30s conversation? - Like when we first started dating, I was 30 and I said it's just a different world for women to be 30. Now, I've taken on a new approach to my 30s where instead of, I actually saw this little quote and now I've really attached to it. It says something like in your 30s, you feel like you're running out of time, but really, you can just take your time. - Woo! - But is that really true? - Yeah, I don't know why we have to be so scared that we're running out of time. - Body starts shutting down. Other kids start popping up. - Kids. - Kids, the ones that come out of you. - Yeah, but that's one of the things that comes into play. - They look forward to. - Being in your 30s. - Your life changes, it's totally changes. There's no bigger life change or I haven't had kids, but I know for a fact, there's nothing even remotely close to the life changing dynamic that having kids would take. - Jack, do you think you're prepared for kids? - No, I don't think anyone's prepared. And I think I'm very unprepared. I do think I'm, I look at it as like life one and life two. No kids, life one, kids, life two. I feel pretty satisfied with life one. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna do a little exercise here. - Okay. - Where I'm going to be a child at a different age. - Okay. - You have to, you have to assess the situation and figure out what you're gonna do. - Okay, and if you behave kind of like a kid that you shouldn't at that age, I'm gonna call you out and send you to the loony bed or something. - Okay. - I'm gonna start. We're gonna start at two. - Start at six months. - Okay. - Six months, okay. Zero cognition, so it doesn't even matter. - Kristen. - Oh, stop, stop, stop. I'm not playing it. That's like, stop. You wanna do it or should I? I'll do it. - All right. - Okay. Okay. - Oh. - Hey. - That's good. - I know what he's gonna do, he's gonna do it again or something. - That's right. - Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. No, no, no, it is okay. It was my fault. I shouldn't have had the negative energy. It's my fault. - Good job. - Pass. - No, no, no. - Good job. - Okay, check you, baby. - But you could, but you could have also started. - You were doing anything for me. - You could have been like, maybe he's hungry. Maybe I should have changed his diaper. Maybe he dropped his pants. - The first thing he did, I don't know. - How's the fire? - Like you guys should get in a fight about it. - Yeah, your mom pulled me aside and she said, make sure, as soon as you guys have that kid, like day one, like make sure he, teach him how to change the diaper. - It's like tuna fish. I was grandfathered in when I ate it, when I was young, and now I eat it, even though I would never do it now. It doesn't fit my eating palette. - What? - If you get me an early, I'll do it for life. - Hey, what are you gonna say? - Now I'm two and a half. You ready? One, two, three. - Hey, hey, hey, John! - John. - Jack. - Yeah? - Come here right now, please. - Okay. - Come here. - Okay. - Oh! - Okay, that's it. (laughing) (laughing) - Okay. - Pull up your pants. - I don't know, I guess it's too young to punish. (laughing) - All right, all right, all right, all right. Just stop him. (clapping) - They don't move this fast. - Yeah, yeah. - What are you talking about? - They don't move this fast. - Yes, they are, dude, they're so agile. They go like this, they're like, - Hey Jack, hey Jack! - They're like, Jack. - Jack? - No, Jack. - And they're just like, oh Jack, yeah. - Jack, they're like, they move pretty fast. - I'm dealing with one right now. Okay. - I would say Jack, I know you've a lot of energy, but look at the toilet over there, play with that toilet. - But then I'd throw it. Okay, now I'm five. - Okay. - Dude, why are you depressed? - I don't wanna, I don't wanna sleep alone, I'm scared. - You can sleep with us. - I can? - Yeah, just tonight, just tonight, I love. - But you said no, and you said yes. - You can, for the rest of your life. (laughing) - For the rest of my life. - Whatever your mom says goes, you know the rules. - For the rest of my life. - I'm gonna sleep between you guys. - All right, we don't have to take the skit further. - It's gonna fuck tonight, hopefully. - Hey, well. - Now I'm 13, okay? - I couldn't even get out of it. - You just caught me smoking weed for the first time. - Sit down. - Jack? Where were you? - Why, it's not hard to figure out, where were you? - I was with my friend. - Where though, I didn't say who, what were you doing? I said, where were you? - We were at Jack's house. - You still hanging around Jack? - Yeah, he's got the same name as me, he's cool. - Here's what I'll say. I know you were smoking weed. - What do you mean, but Dad, you smoke weed every time you high freestyle. - Yeah, but Jack, I wasn't allowed to eat, like, the smoking weed was such a scary thing to me when I was your age 'cause my parents really like, made it seem like that would be such an impossibility. I got so punished, and I was really scared as a result. So I worked hard, and I really like, maximized my full potential, and that's what I want for you. And then eventually when you're an adult, and you want to smoke weed, you can make that choice. - But Dad, don't you think that, like, all the knowledge you found is that, like, smoking weed isn't even that bad, and it's legal? - I don't really seek this knowledge. I haven't found any knowledge. I just-- - How do you smoke it? - Honestly, because I feel like sometimes reality isn't satisfying enough. - Well, that's a shame. - Well, that's how I feel. - Yeah, it sucks. Don't be like me, kid. - But I want to be like you, you're my hero. - You like me in all the other ways, not this one. - Or at least try not to be. - I tried not to, and my friends were still okay. You got to do it till you're right there. You don't even know anything yet. But I was thinking when I was 13 is what I think now. - Would I even get in trouble? - Yeah. - How much trouble do I get in? - I'm not gonna fucking do a book report, John. - Here's what I, sorry, turn her up the role playing. Here's what I do think. You have to change every kid's different. Like, you can't just apply, maybe. - I'm your son, Jack. - Because if you think about, like, if you, depending on the kid, they could just push them to do more stuff. - Okay, now, Jack, I'm your daughter, and I'm 14 years old. And you just caught me coming back from a party, and I'm a little drunk, and it looks like I might have gotten a little frisky. - What does that mean? Looks like it might be. - Wait, how? - Like, you're just drunk, you know, but you've heard, you've heard that, like, I have like some, like, my brother said that I have a boyfriend. - I have one. I'm not at home. You're about to go leave and hang out with a carful of boys. - You see your daughter leaving her shirt see-through. - Bye, daddy. - Oh, Stevie. - Yeah. - Where'd you, what? - Have fun, have fun. I'll see you later. - Okay, you sure? - Yeah, I'm, I like, you're in charge of like what, I'm not, I'm not there. - You sure I can have fun? - She's about to go get in the car with a bunch of men. - Feel like it's like an appropriate thing that I'm ramen on. - I don't know. - I don't know. - Okay, sit down. - You could say. - Sit down. - You just push me, I don't talk. - Stevie, maybe your shirt is a little see-through and inappropriate. You should be able to wear whatever you want. I just wanted to, I also don't think it's the best look getting into the carful. - Well, you're not here. - Who knows what the fashion's going to be like? - You're not here. The fashion's even more in there. - You're just, you've put in so much time that it would have taken care of itself. - Yeah, but you also want to guide your children like to make the right choice. - Okay, daddy, I'll see you later. - Stevie, I think you need to cover up a little bit worse. What, I mean, you should not be, you're going in a car with boys. - Yeah. - Why are you wearing that? - I don't know. - I'm not sure. Please put on a more appropriate shirt. - Thanks, Stevie. - Why is it inappropriate? - I'm a friend to Erica. - Erica, unfortunately, what you think really has no relevance to the underdispers. - You know why, Mr. Bird? It's so inappropriate that you would objectify our bodies like that. We're like becoming women. And I want her to show-- - Jamie? - Erica. - Okay. Stevie, go upstairs for one second. - Go upstairs. - Go upstairs. - Why, I gotta go to the party. - You don't. You're grounded. - You can talk to your friend, Bethany. - Why am I grounded? - Because you're hanging out with the way too fast of a crowd. - Hmm. Which is something I was told when I was young. - What do you think? - Are you having fun in your 30s? - 30s is great. - I think our 30s are different than most 30s. - Well, I think 30 is the new 40s. - Yeah. - I mean, 30s, new 20s, 40s, new 30s. - So 90s, the new 80s. - I feel like my face moves like Jim Carrey in the mask. - Wow, it does look like-- - Try to do your ugliest face. - KFC Box Feast. Oh my God, what is this? - It's a part of the KFC Box Feast. - Oh my God. - It is really good. - Show the box so they can know what the feast is. - This is an $11 box. - Take a look at this. You see this chicken. - Show the thickness of the patty. - Look at the thickness of the patty. This is great age chicken. - Look at the thickness of the nugget. - I mean, they call this a nugget. This looks like a big nugget. - When I think of a nugget, I think this is like a real nugget. You know, I think if this is a real nugget, compared to other nuggets. - That's a nugget of wisdom. - Time to feast. - The prices and participation may vary. Tax, tip, and feast extra. - This is the best thing I've ever tasted. We respect you. - More fun. - Olli Pop Time. Let's debate which summer flavor is the best. - I guys, very sure. We're very easy to debate. Next question. - Absolutely no debate. They even brought this one back. Is it so popular? - What is it? - It's one. - Blackberry better. - This is so good. It reminds me of when I was a kid. I used to go to this place called Hoffman's with my grandmother in upstate New York and it was delicious. - Have you had this one though? - By any two cans of Olli Pop and store and they'll pay you back for one. Any flavor, any retailer, go to drinkOlliPop.com slash FKS. - Equally delicious but no memory attached. - Can we talk about David? - David, you know more about protein than us. Why don't you talk about it? - I will tell you right now. Right now, I'm holding a blueberry pod. - Flavored bar in my hands. - This thing has 150 calories and 28 grams of protein. - You're gonna have a bazooka arms in no time. Right Christian? - I mean I did eat one of these earlier when I was hungry. - I know when your arms are looking. - I had the chocolate chip cookie doughs amazing. - Chocolate chip cookie doughs amazing. - Yeah. - Blueberry pie's amazing. Red velvet's amazing. - I just got to eat this stuff to get stronger. I have to lift weights too. - You might want to lift weights too. - You might want to do book. David is available at Walmart stores nationwide and on walmart.com. We try a single bar for only $2.97. Go grab one for yourself. - Go grab one for yourself. - It's gonna be sad when we get old and then our friends and our partners die. - Yeah, the end of life. - I don't want to be the last, actually maybe I do want to be the last man standing. - Check, what would you do if I died? Why are we talking about this? - I want to know, check. Check, would your entire world collapse? - You know what your mom says, it's a really good little sound bite. - What? - She says getting older is just about managing loss. - Guys, we are in our 30s. I don't know why we're talking about this. Do you guys, why do we get, why do we get so scared to talk about death? It's a real thing. - Okay, keep talking about death. I'll just chill. - Do you guys prefer a wood fireplace or a gas fireplace? - I prefer when it's gas and there's things that look like real wood in there. - Yeah. - I prefer real wood. Wait, guys, listen to this sound. Okay, you ready? Never mind. - That's really good stuff. - You want to hear, you want to see something really cool? - Sure. - Wait. - Well. - Yeah, that's great. That was good. - Fuck, hold on. - Yeah, that's so good. - That was incredible. All three of those notes should be equally valued. - Wait. - Wait. - That was a great one. - You're like a fully artist. You know, and they're like, yeah, you could do it. - I wonder if life is beaten down my spirit. - No, we have a good spirit. Life was beating down my spirit. - What? - We'll turn it around. - Bird? - You know, if you guys recall, we walked inside. I said I've learned a lot of new things about the universe. - What'd you learn? - Actually, I haven't. My life is a lot like how I imagined, like, that, you know, my life would be. Oftentimes, I wonder, like, was I just given my perfect life to just test me to see if I do it the right way. And then at the end, they're just like, you totally misplaced your hand. Or like, well done. You learn the lessons and you were a good guy. - So you don't know if you believe in, like, free will and that you made these choices? - No, all choices were just made for you, and now you're just living it out. - No, I think I'm making the choices and it might ultimately become judged for them. - I think my circumstances were not my choice. It was given a very particular set of circumstances. Yeah, Chad? - Do you think they're going to say congratulations, you made Dave and have a wall rustic? - No. I think they're going to say, maybe, at first, you were a little self-involved, but how can we blame you for pursuing your dreams? And then you were so nice to everyone along the way. That's the most important thing. - Who's that? - The spirits. Do you think they're the spirit chiefs gonna say you were a selfish? I did read that. True happiness and true joy will not be felt if you're chasing this dream and you're climbing this mountain, the first mountain is not where you'll find the joy. You'll find the joy in the second mountain, which is when you've achieved what you want to achieve and realize there's no satisfaction from achieving those things and you just start being good to everyone else and giving. And only through giving can true joy be felt. But then isn't that selfish if you're just giving in order to feel joy? Like, shouldn't you just be giving to give back? I don't know. Not the expectation of feeling joy or feeling anything from it. I don't think you're selfish when you are challenged. I think if you just get to do whatever you want, you know what I think we're both very similarly selfish. So we both have given ourselves the green light to be, to live relatively selfishly and then whenever it's inappropriate, we both kind of agree. What do you think I do that selfish? To me, that's just a way of life. You know, selfishness is just a way of life. Oh. Not in a way where it's like, you know, you're prioritizing your own happiness. You're not even prioritizing it, but you're trying to make yourself as happy as possible. When things are in the way of that, you try to resist them. What do you think Dave's selfish about? He's not. I don't actually think he's that selfish. I think he lived a selfish life, but then whenever I challenge you or I say, if I need help, you always show up. I mean, you were selfish about everything when I first started dating you. You were literally like, you had to have eight hours of sleep. You're selfish. Yeah. Well, that's not selfish. That's not selfish. That was a bad example. What? I don't know. You're the one that always says you're selfish. He is about everything. It's a wrap. It's a wrap I've had. He's just because I kind of minimally just live for to, I'm trying to be happy myself. I think he's selfish about everything at like literally every single decision, but if you do push him on his selfishness, he's very quick to be like, oh, wait. Okay. Yeah. It's a great thing about you. Well, that's what I'm saying. I love it. But you are very, I think because I have my, you pick the most selfish thing to be at every time. And less someone is just like, hey, man, that's like, that really hurt my, if somebody brings in like, you have a lot of empathy when someone brings it in, but you don't notice it until they bring it to your attention. Yeah. Dave's so easy to do it with because it's either this, it's either no immediately, or I know if there's any opening I can get him. And it's really, he really has, there is no reason for him to say no ever. Yeah. Like the only time I ever agree with the no now is if he has to go out of town to do something. Like, but like, but like the day, like because he fully makes his own schedule, unless he's shooting a movie, like, so or a television show, do you send each other this? Oh God. Cool. Yeah, Chuck, I send an overhead shot of my boner to her. Do you? Yeah, every day. No, I don't. Have you ever sent, has she ever sent you, has he ever, has he always had you, has he ever sent you a nude? Never. No, you would like, but I don't, you sent me like, no visual, like turn on picture ever. Yeah. I don't know that I love dick pics. Oh no, Chuck. It's a one, the one where it looks like you have elephant tightness of your penis on the blue short. Do you seriously? No. No, I think you sent it and you were like, you see it. And I didn't make that as a nude, I made that because in the car, we were together and thought I looked funny. Yeah, yeah. The world beats you down in your 30s. The world beats you down a lot and it is a never-ending beat down. But not really for us. We're so lucky. We have the luckiest lives. Well, I mean, lucky. Lucky, lucky. Chuck, I thought you said we're so lucky. Don't you think you're so lucky? I'm very thankful, because you're so lucky. I'm very thankful for everything that's happened to me. Why won't you admit that it's luck? I do think there's some luck in it for me. Sure. I mean, you could have been bored. Can you believe in free will? Do you believe in atoms? Do you believe that after Teenage Dream, your life changed? I don't even know why I like to say Teenage Dream. I don't even know what your first song was. Teenage Dream. No. Right? No. Oh. I got a piss. Go piss. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Benny, how has therapy helped you maintain your mental health? I mean, I'm nothing without my therapist. He's basically like a father to me. He's like another family member except without a biased opinion. And he helps me get through everything I need. Sometimes I come in and I feel like I know the answer. Sometimes I come in and I'm like a vase broken into a million pieces and he helps put me together. What? Vaz. Oh, it's not a vase? I think it can be a vase, but it could also be a vase, but it could also be something that you talked to your therapist about. Your mental health matters. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/fks. That's betterhemp.com/fks. Now we're cooking. Therapy's important. You know what time it is. It really comes around every four years and it keeps on coming. Mmm. I know what you're talking about. Soccer. Football. Yep, but we're in America and we're on Team USA and we got a lot of countries to what? Ooh, I'm not sure if that's who I would predict. Really? Well, I don't know. I'm going for Spain. I got a cousin from Spain, so that's my place. What about France? I love France too. Brazil? And I love Brazil. This is what's wrong with this country. You can predict the outcome of the pro soccer championship games all the way to the end of the tournament with Fandall Predicts. Sign up and grab your $25 bonus on Fandall Predicts and ride this playoff journey with us. It's just a little excited. I like that. Let's talk about Canva for a second. I have some things I want to say. Please. But I want to run by the two of you. Okay. I took a picture. You know the shelf with all the plants and all the trinkets. Oh, the trinkets. Yeah. I took it. I uploaded it and I prompted it and it can actually kind of like help you see it differently. Oh, like a little redesign? A little redesign. It can look the plant. Oh, yeah. I mean, honestly, it's much better than doing the physical labor of having to shift every single thing around by. And wow, the fact that you can just like type in blah, blah, blah, get instant, like, more than feedback. Like kind of like, this is what reality will be. So I'll show you the options and you guys can tell me which one you like. Yeah. And we'll have to keep working hard to afford such a long period of life. Canva makes design easy for anyone with building AI that lets you remove, generate, and animate content and just to click start designing today at Canva.com. Do you wipe your hands every time you go to the back? Wash your hands every time you go to the back room. Sitting down and I don't touch anything, I don't wash my hands. But if I pee standing up or I poop and wipe my butt, I wash my hands. Do wash your hands every time you go number two, even if you didn't get anything on your hand? I think if your hand is that close and there's only a thin sheet of paper between your asshole and all that fungus and that fungus, then you have to wash it. Do you wash your hands after you go pee? Yeah. I didn't hear it. But he holds his dick with his hand. Do you have to hold it to like, aim it? Yeah, you push it down. Yeah. Now you pee, push it down. Why? So my dick. It just is. So a piece. Can you pee with a boner? Yeah. It's pretty hard. No, you can't. You have to like move your body. But why do you push it down? Like, I thought men like, aimed it. No, I just push it down against my- No, he's pushing it down to aim it. The reason you push it down is because if you didn't, you pee just above the surface or above the surface to pee. Yeah, I want to push the peon to. I want to pee in the right place. When you're in a urinal, you can't see the other men's. Sometimes you can. Sometimes you can. How do they make a little blocker? There is half the time there is, but half the time there isn't. And no one ever just- People are- People are- People are- People are- People are definitely looking. There's no respect. I've had men standing next to me peeing and being like, I can't believe I'm peeing next to you. Like, don't worry, I'm not looking. So do you feel peer pressure to use the urinal? Or can't you just go use a stall? I use a stall because I like can't bear- I didn't use to, but I do now. Like, it's- Yeah, I hate. Stalls are cool, but in public places, stalls, like people have- You get some shit pissed. I don't understand how all the fucking shit is so- Everyone's like- Everyone's like- It's crazy. They're like- Like in a public- Are the bathrooms disgusting in a female bathroom? No. The space that they give men's bathrooms, compared to the space that they give women's bathrooms, because you guys have urinals and stalls. Like, they give you so much more space. That's why there's always like such a long line outside of like the women's bathroom. And I just feel like, you know, women actually have to pee sometimes more, especially if they're pregnant or other things. What do they have urinals? That's what I don't understand. I think for efficiency, because they can get more men in. I think men got a piss. Every urinal, by the way, you're- It's always designed in a way where the piss splatters on your legs. Really? Yeah. On your legs. I mean, to clean a urinal. Yeah, you don't feel it because you're not wearing shorts. If you like wear short shorts, you'll feel how much piss ricochets every single time. Here's the thing. You can't put toilet paper down a urinal, can you? Well, you don't have to wipe your dick. Don't you have to pat it? What? I mean, I do have piss all over my dick. I pee on my dick. I pee on my dick. Squeeze it like a toothpaste. He rings it out. He goes, "Me." Really? And there's never any moisture in that. Well, I'll tell you no matter how much you wiggle or how much you dance, the last drop is always wind up in your pants. And I literally piss all over my dick and nuts because of my dick. Is the hand? It looks like he dipped it into a second hole with a finger, which is not really stopping anything. It's just stopping a ray from going out. But what the fluid is still coming out down all over the neck. It's crazy. Like, I can't stop the damn. I'm just like preventing the damn from bursting out onto the person next to me. Do you find that if your urine is warmer, that it goes in a different direction than if it's cold? What? Your piss is always warm. What do you mean it goes in a different direction? Like, sometimes when I've had to squat outside to pee, like, put up for whatever reason. And if my body is too warm, it doesn't go the the You're gonna kind of go sideways. - I have no clue what you're talking about. - But if it's cold. - I think you might have some sort of-- - Where does the peak come out of the girl? It's not the main hole, right? It's a different small little hole underneath the clit. Is that what it is? - That's the urine hole. - Where is that? Do you know where it is? Have you looked at your urine hole? - I'm not like-- - What is the urine hole for a girl? What is it? I know for a guy it's the middle of the dickhead. Where's the urine hole? - You can't see it. - Have you ever seen it? - You can see it if you spread it. - So it's spread like-- - And you look. - So you should spread your jaw? - It's not the hole that the kid comes out of. - No, or is it the clit? - The clit is not a hole. - I know, so where is it in relation to the clit? - So I actually don't fully know. - Have you ever seen it from how big it is? Is it like a big, beautiful idea? - No, I have no idea. - I've never seen it. - Have you ever seen a diagram left or anything? - No, I've seen a diagram left, but I've actually never seen it. - Do you pee if you don't adjust your vagina, would you pee against it's like walls or no? - You know what's annoying? Which I just figured out recently? I could, you know, if you're wearing a tan, this is like so unrelatable to you guys, but if you're wearing a tampon. - Yeah. - So I, my whole life, I would pee without like moving the tampon string, which is just, then I would always be like, why is it wet? - So you, all girls should move the tampon string and you just pissed into it all at all. - Yeah, and I couldn't figure it out. Like I'd be like, why whenever I'm on my peerid? - Yeah. - And I like, well my underwear, but it's the tampon string. Before you take it out, and you put it in one end, it is the maintenance. - What, you even noticed in your 30s, you're like, oh, yeah, that's what. - I learned that women's, women peek in their 30s sexually. - Oh, big day. - But don't wait till then. - I don't know, if you feel like that. Feels like you got a little taste of it on our honeymoon. - Man. - That's a, - What, you guys talking about this honeymoon a lot? - Sexually. - We had a really fun honeymoon. I think it was a volcanic energy at the end. - What do you think, bro? - When you look back at your 30s, when you're 70. - But how will we know this answer? - I'm just, you can't project, I don't know. - What, sad? Does the car-- - Hey, you can't project. I said project. You know what that word means, project. - Yeah, but you have to finish the statement for it to make sense. - Well, I was interrupted because you didn't understand the concept of projecting. - Okay, what are you projecting? - When you're 70 and you look back-- - Yeah, at your 30s. You're gonna have a flash of an image in your head. What do you think it's gonna be? Like one flag, a still. - Not the best, not the best word use of projection. But I'll let it slide, not a great use of it. - But not totally off base, but not a great use. - I see the number 30 as the color orange. - But if I said predictive, it would have totally been perfect. - Better. I think you're-- - So what would you predict? - Think you're picking the wrong battle. - I really think if we go back on it, yeah. - Hey, let us know who won this micro battle. Projection, yay or nay. Like, comment, subscribe. - Well, thanks, everybody. 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