256: That's Suspicious Ft. Taylor Tomlinson

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If your doctor decides that you can self-inject Tramphya, proper training is required. Tramphya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions, increased risk of infections or lower ability to fight them, and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tramphya today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit TramphyaRadio.com. Okay, you ready? I'm ready. Okay, we're rolling. I can't wait. I am so excited to have you. I'm so excited to be here. I see your clips all the time. Okay, thank you. I see your clips, but I also, you are probably the only thing, specials are the reason I went back and paid for Netflix. Really? The new season of Bridgerton couldn't even get me back. Shut up. The new season of Bridgerton's good. Fuck. Yeah, it's good. Well, now I have it for a month, so I'm like, I can binge that. Yeah. But now I'm like, they're doing it in installments and it just feels so silly. Right, but they're both coming out this month, basically. So you're still good. You're in the month. I just, I'm like, I'm fangirling because I binged all three of your specials yesterday. Oh my God, that's so nice. I started with the middle, went to the most recent, and then went back to the very beginning. Wow, interesting order. Interesting order. Accidental, but it is amazing seeing how you've evolved, but yet you just have such a base. And like, I read through all your YouTube comments on like a bunch of clips. No, you have the nicest fans in the world. Oh, good. Okay, great. I know you don't read the comments because I was like sleuthing. I went over your like, ask me anything you did on Reddit. Oh, wow. You have. You really did your research. You did your research. You had to. I hate being underprepared. Oh my God, I'm so impressed. ADHD, anxiety girl. Like, you have to be prepared. I know, I'm the same way. So I just discovered like, you just have the nicest fans. They're really nice. Like, they're so concerned about if you're sleeping yet. They are. They're really cool. They are very concerned about your fashion. They want to know where you get your blazers and your jackets. That's so nice. I mean, I have seen some comments. I wore like some barrel jeans once and the comments were very divided. Really? Yes, they were like, I think on YouTube, there was one site where people liked them. And then there was one site where people did not like them. And that's always funny to me because I'm like, I can take those pants off. If you're shitting on like my sense of humor or my face or my body, I'm like, well, that's going to be tough for me to alter. But if they're just like your outfit sucks, I'm like, OK, well, I dressed myself and I'm not a professional. So I know I hate when people give you stuff and it's like, can I change it? Can I like, can I take it off? No. OK, then why are you telling me this? Just be quiet. Why are you telling me this? But you know, they're in the comments. They're all talking to each other. You know, they're building community, whatever. They are. I mean, you you've been described as like the most like vulnerable, inspiring women that gives people hope for the future. Who said that? One of your commenters. Wow. You've been described in one comment. But it just like it kept coming up like she's so vulnerable. She's so real. She's destigmatizing mental health. And just like all of these oversharing, she needs more therapy. Honestly, no, you actually made me realize how much therapy I need to go do. Really? Oh, my God. The little segment you did where you're like, you take your partner home to show them. This is why I mean you sometimes like that. I'm like, yeah, no, I am my worst when I go home. Yeah. Well, because you're just waiting for your family to prove you right and make you look less reactive and nuts about certain things. And you're like, this is not going to work. This is not going to work. This is okay. We're not going to have like Christmas dinner. We're going so that you can get to know me, your partner better. Yeah. No, I I'm very, very lucky that my partner still chose to marry me after going home. Truly my worst. Like I had a mental breakdown. It all came back up. Oh, just fully triggered. I was in a hole. So I'm like watching the latest special and I'm like, yes, yes. Thank you. You just have a way of making people, I think, feel very seen in your work. And I'm so excited for your new special. Thank you. February 24th, 24th prodigal daughter. Okay. Like two days before second part of Bridgerton comes out. Hey, it still doesn't matter. You're going to be number one. We're all going to go watch, right? That's what I am excited about that week. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's going to be great. I'm I'm so excited. So excited for it. So I know you're going to be great on all these stories I have for you today. I cannot wait. I am scared. I don't. I don't want to go too hard on you, but I feel like out of anyone I've had, you can probably handle it. With the craziest stories? Yeah. Oh, no, please go crazy. Okay. I'm worried they'll be boring and I'll just be like, hmm, that's weird. I don't think so. Okay. I can't wait. I put a couple of them on my Patreon chat today and I was like, who do you think I should give this one? Like, here's the upcoming roster. And they go that one, Taylor, a hundred percent. Oh my God. I cannot wait. So I think. I also did something. I also did something on tour called crowd confessions this past tour where people were like, I had certain questions that they answered. And then I was like, you know, if you need advice or you just want to share something or whatever. So, and like, we got a ton of crazy answers on there. So I feel like I'll be, I feel like I'm prepared for this. I almost said, I feel like I'll be good at this, but I don't want to seem too cocky. No, brush the dust off your shoulder. You got this. I'm going to crush this. You're, people are going to be like, you cannot have another guest again. I mean, Taylor only. It's ruined. Um, what was the you came across on tour? Oh my God. Honestly, I should have one like ready to go. I'll tell you. You tell me one. I'll tell you. Cause I do this as well at my shows. Yeah. We do hot takes, confessions. Yeah. And one of the craziest confessions I got came out of Chicago. Love my Midwest. People were just a little different. Yeah. This one really rocked me though. She, she wrote in and she goes, I've never told anyone this, but I actually baby trapped my now husband. And he said, I've never told anyone this, but I actually baby trapped my I don't know if he was there that night, but I've never heard such a resounding, just gasp and whore. That's so wild. Yeah. Mine wasn't like people write in their craziest confessions or secrets or anything. It was like, I had questions that were in my hour. So it was like, how did you come out as queer? What was your queer awakening? When did you stop being religious? Uh, do you want kids? And then people would write specific things back to them and we would kind of switch them up throughout the tour. And there were a lot of people that were like, I don't know, I don't know. It was like, when was the, when and where did you first have sex? And so there were a lot of like funny ones for that, where it was like one person had had like sex in a tent in the front yard of their partner's parents' house. Oh, the tent. Yeah. Which I was like, we don't go inside. Like there, I think their parents were, I think they were like gone for the weekend, but I'm like still front yard. So there was like stuff like that. Wait, they were gone and they still chose the front yard? That's what I was confused about. Okay. But yeah, there was a lot of interesting, like craziest place you had sex, like what you want to happen to your ashes when you die was something we were asking for a while. And that was a question I asked on stage too. And people had interesting answers. Like there are a lot of people who want to be fireworks that I know there's a lot of people who, there was one guy once who said he wanted his ashes like shot into space, which is like such a straight guy answer. That's literally, that's unfortunately my husband. That's your husband? I'm sorry. No, it's horrible. Sorry I'm like, what happens if you like get like harvested by an alien and then they wake you back up? Like this is so stupid. It's so much. You're going to go orbit earth, you and your corpse. Like chill out. I don't understand it. It's so much. I'm honestly kind of embarrassed telling you that. I'm just like, why, why? You're like, I'm gonna have to tell people this. Please stop. Please change your answer. Have you come up with your answer now? Are you like, okay, I don't care that much. No. Like, do you care about what happened? Put me in a box. Yes. Just I just want to go back to the earth. You want to go back to the earth. Like you want to be like a tree pod. Yeah. Oh no. No, you don't want to be that. No, that. And like, have you looked into like terramation and aquamation? No. Oh wait, is that where they put you in like the little pod and you decompose, but there's like actually not, it's not just happy decomposition. There's like grinders in those boxes. What? Don't look up terramation. I think that's how you say it. I can't believe you gave me a new answer that I hadn't heard after two years on the road asking this. Yeah. Okay. No, no. I just want to be like creamy. and put in a cute little container. - I'm with you. little urn that was that's like the most planning i would do i don't even really care if anyone has a funeral like if you need that do that yeah but i don't know it feels very confident to make like a whole plan for a funeral and send your family somewhere to spread you like i just don't think i have that level of confidence i feel like people care about you more than you think but enough to like run errands uh-huh after i'm gone yeah they would bring them closure it's more for them okay whatever that's why i'm like whatever they want yeah you know i'm not gonna leave specific instructions and everyone's like oh i don't have time for that yes that's my worst fears that i'll die and everyone be like she's a lot even now even it's like you got so much attention while you were alive and now this wasn't enough for you and now you need more when you're not even here to enjoy it it's a lot i'm with you okay you might be changing my mind a little bit just i'm gonna have to i cannot sit on this oh my god okay without further ado let's dive in ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ Okay, this first one. This is coming from a post. It's a little vintage. It's actually from 2015. Coming from Relationships, titled, I, 30 female, found a mystery digital camera in my husband's 32 male belongings. Okay. Hi, everyone. Throwaway account here. Thank you ahead of time for sharing my problem with me. So, I'm pretty new to the USA, and I'm not working yet, as I have some time before my employment authorization is granted. My husband and I met in my home country when he was there working, and I moved here to be with him. Everything is pretty peachy, though obviously my hands get a little restless sometimes. My husband, let's call him Ben, spends about 50 hours a week at work, sometimes a little more. Anyways, I was busy cleaning under the kitchen sink this afternoon while Ben was at work, and I found a biscuit tin. Oh, my God. I was curious about it. It was so far back that I thought it was perhaps something he had lost, or was from a previous tenant. It was dusty, but the digital camera inside was not. I powered on the digital camera, and found many photos of my stuff. What? Pictures of my purse hanging on a dining room chair, pictures of my makeup in my cosmetic box, pictures of my coat and scarf on the coat hooks, pictures of my keys on the kitchen counter, always of my stuff, and always in pairs. This is a rollercoaster, because when you started this story, and she said hidden digital camera, I went, absolutely not. Look at this, and now this is getting kind of romantic. Has she taken pictures of all of your stuff? That could be like an art exhibit about your partner. You love them so much. You love everything about them, even everything they've touched. I'm. Now I'm worried. I'm going to get. I'm going to marry a bad person, probably. Meaning one after the other of the same exact scene, always in pairs in that way. Okay. I can't find a clue. I can't find a cord to attach it to the computer or a charger. I looked through all of the photos quickly in case he notices the battery drain, and I turned it off, and I was careful to put it back the way I found it. And, well, I don't know what to do next. I don't know exactly what I'm looking at. I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel, if I should confront him, if it is anything worth confronting him about. He does not seem the type to have any kind of compulsive tick. But most importantly, why would a person do this? Is there an update? No. What? No. This is the whole thing? This is all we have. This is the craziest thing I've ever heard, and I'm having a really weird reaction to it. Is this bad? I kind of don't think it's bad. Okay. This is such a fucked up situation, because he didn't do anything wrong. It's just weird. And I want to know, really badly, what is going on. And so I can only imagine how she feels, having found it. Oh, I would have to confront him. Right? You would have to. Are you worried about your safety? Yeah. Are you worried about him getting mad? Like, how wholesome is this man, that he's like, I need to have secrets from my wife, but all he can think to do is take photos of her belongings on a secret digital camera? That's kind of beautiful. You are just. God, you are a ray of fucking sunshine. I just. I'm not. I'm not a positive person, generally. I just don't know how else to take this. You are glass, not even half full. It is full. Well, I'm asking you, what are you. Okay. What's your reaction to it? Because I can't think of, like, a negative, even, like. I think of everything from a serial killer angle. And it doesn't even strike me as that. That's where I was kind of going. I was like, okay, this is, like, true crime doc waiting to happen. How does he clean stuff? Yeah. And put it back exactly how she had it? Or is he having an affair? And he's taking pictures of these items so that when he hides them, he can put them back in the very same place. Oh. That's. Like he's having another woman over. Yeah. That's where my head immediately went. You're so much smarter than me. No, well, this is. That makes sense. This is your first rodeo. That's. You've got to be so jaded. Yeah. Do you have crazy trust issues now doing this show? I think. I don't know. I feel like I'm just more, like. I catastrophize a lot easier than I probably used to. Yeah. And I also. I have a true crime podcast as well now, so it's just like. You're getting it from all angles. I'm getting it from all angles. So when I see weird, I'm like, my spidey senses immediately start tingling. Maybe he's just trying to get good at photography. Maybe, right? Yeah. Because why would he keep those photos on the camera? Like, she's not putting everything back in the same spot. No. Every single time. Why. Why is it hidden in a biscuit tin, though, under the sink at the way back? That's what I'm saying. I'm like, people just need secrets? Do they need. I'm kind of like, what is she doing? That's. What secrets does she have that he knows about that he's so desperate to have a secret and can't pull off an affair, so he just needs to take photos of her purse? I know. And hide it under the sink? And, like, where's the charger? Where's the cord? Why are they so separated? I feel so stupid reading this story because I don't know what's going on at all. It just makes you paranoid. It's stressing me out. I know. There's no update? No update. The top comment is, swear an oath that you will come back and tell us the answer. This show is hell. This show is hell. Are they all like this? No, no. Okay, that was crazy. I would not put you through that. We're starting off with a real hard one. But here's the thing. We do get updates years and years later. We have had people come back, you know, five years later, a decade later. So now that we're getting the word out there, maybe she's out there. Girl, tell us. You know, this is from 2015. 2015. October 14th. Or he murdered her. Because that is weird behavior. It is. I have had one story in the past and this kind of went Hall of Fame in my head where this woman was cleaning the fridge and her husband had a box in the fridge and she was like, what's in the box, babe? Like, what's in the box? And he goes, nothing. Don't look in there. And he's like, it's just olives. And she was like, I just, I feel like it's kind of weird that he's got this box in the fridge and I can't look in it. And she's like, what should I do? And like, she updated it and she's like, I talked to my husband. He said not to worry. It's just olives. She didn't look? She never fucking looked. What? Some people are just satisfied with not getting closure. What is that like? I don't know. This story is going to haunt me for years. I'm so sorry. I'm going to ask people. Like, I have a dinner tomorrow. I'm going to ask the whole table. No. About this. Because I, is this how people online feel when they like solve crimes? Yeah. That like the authorities can't get to the bottom of? Yeah. Okay. I mean, look at all the people sleuthing right now with like documents that have been released. What do the people in the comments think? A lot of people think that maybe it has to do with insurance purposes. Like if you have photos of your stuff and your home burns down, then you can prove what needs to be replaced. Okay. So that's a positive one as well. Meanwhile, I'm like, he's an artist. He's an artist. Leave him alone. This one is diabolical. Oh my gosh. I'm so scared. I feel like someone's telling me scary stories around a campfire right now. I'm so tense. Okay. We're just like, we're going to need to give you like a. Oh my gosh. This person goes, I'm going to guess that your husband is taking pictures of things like your keys and purse to track if you have moved them during the day. I.e. Did you go out somewhere when you said you stayed home all day? I obviously could be wrong, but considering he is hiding the camera, that would be the only thing I can think of. I need so much more information. that is scary that's so scary okay it okay so we're gonna move on to this next one okay because it also has to do with a secret and i feel like i'm just gonna like i'm gonna leave you on this edge of like maybe no closure and then i'm gonna give you one that like thank you you get some resolve at least to be clear i'm never gonna move on from that first one for the rest of my life i'm gonna be honest they get progressively worse no are there ones that haunt you yeah you've done okay yeah i mean that you go back and check for updates and you never get it yeah oh my god yeah no there's one have the stomach for this you start to read so many that you do like forget about them the ones that mess me up the most though are like posts that like i full-heartedly believe them and i'm on their side and then someone else like that's involved in the story finds the post and gives a totally different narrative oh yeah and i'm like whoa which side you believe like yeah and then i'm like oh i feel so bad for being so mean when this person's clearly wronged yeah so those ones really get me too and read it so hard too because you're just going off of their writing skills like you can't like look at their body language or their no their eyes their eyes shifting yeah exactly they're saying it yeah are they telling me the truth oh my god nothing just uh believing them or being gullible whichever one you want to okay choose all right okay let's do the next one okay so this is coming up in the next one i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god from am i the asshole it is titled am i the asshole for not telling my fiancee about a secret room in our apartment i recognize the title sounds a little ridiculous the situation is less so i was very fortunate to be in a position to buy an apartment straight out of college it's a weird unit on a high floor of a weird building but i gut renovated it and i made it really nice one aspect of my home was created just to fulfill a childhood fantasy a secret room it's simple a flush mount bookcase put in the doorway it leads to what would otherwise be a windowless very large closet or a very small room i made it into a cute layer slash reading nook but with no windows it never got used ended up being more long-term storage i've never told anyone about it because it was a secret room obviously i can't tell anyone about this secret room i kind of figured at one point i'd tell my girlfriend emma but i didn't want to tell her until i had a reason to i had finished it shortly before meeting her i figured maybe one day if we had a kid i could remove the bookcase and bam we'd have plenty of space to put in a changing table setup or a craft nook for her but i largely forgot about it except when i needed to pull something out from there which is rare fast forward to yesterday emma now my fiancee has been living with her for a long time and i've been living with her for a long time and i've been in my now our apartment for eight months during this time i've kept the secret room a secret it's not like i was thinking about it all the time i only consciously did something really sneaky maybe three times since she's moved in to get christmas lights a spare coffee maker and to put away a novelty item she probably thought i threw out and the reason i was sneaky at those times was because again i didn't want to waste the surprise on christmas lights we've both been working from home lately and we aren't really able to leave very often due to circumstances and she jokingly announced we need a new room to shake things up from her normal commute bedroom to living room so of course i excitedly pulled open our built-in bookcase and showed her our room and dot dot dot she flipped out she is furious at me she sees me keeping this secret as a mystery and i'm like what's going on with her she's like what's going on with her major betrayal of trust given that this is her home now too she's acting like i cheated on her i tried to explain i was waiting for a special moment but she thinks that makes it worse i have no idea if she's being unreasonable or if i am am i the asshole you should have never told her about that secret room you should have never i the first half of the story i was like this is amazing i would i would love to have a secret room a secret room for your extra storage and your childhood fantasy of having a secret room behind a bookshelf i was like this is awesome we're all complex individuals who need again you need a secret or two it's okay this hurts no one you're not having an affair you're not doing any harm you're not spending money that's not yours you're not like you're not doing anything harmful except storing some christmas lights behind a bookcase and you did tell her and i don't know why she's freaking out and i feel like it's about something else i mean if if someone told me about a secret room i would probably be upset too but just because of the lie yeah because of the room itself i would just be like huh and it's such a big physical thing to hide that would freak me out yeah but the actual hiding of the room i think is okay and so i think you should have never told her but what if like okay they're married we're like five years down the road and it's like oh like here's here's another room in our house and it's like you've been in this room for five years that's why i'm like i don't know why she's freaking out it's only been eight months five years i could understand like what but also it's kind of funny it is it's kind of a good bit to have a secret room and then like surprise secret room that's funny it is emma doesn't sound funny see i'm here was where i go with paranoia again i'm like it just kind of scares me that i've been living in this house for eight months and like there was a whole nother room i didn't know about like haven't you seen those stories of the people who have been living here something in their attic and all of a sudden they like stick their phone up in the attic to see if something's there and there's a man okay wait is the is the poster male or female so there's no mention because that changes everything there's no mention i who did you envision i thought it was a woman i envisioned a guy okay not to be super gendered about this but if it's a man i hate that if it's a woman i love it and i think she should have kept the secret forever if it's a man how fucking dare you oh i know i so that's maybe where we're having different reactions where you're differing yeah there's no comments from op adding any other details so yeah no no genders mentioned the only thing that we get is like girlfriend emma which if op is a woman or non-binary i love it and i think you should have kept the room secret and if it's a man you're disgusting and i hate you that's how i feel about it oh my gosh what you had something in one of your specials where you're like i think i'm sexist i'm like yeah i have different standards i think my standard is like i find it weird either way yeah look i'm very against lying unless i understand why i think if it's like a short-term white lie and it's for a good plot i'm i'm on board yeah but if it's you realizing a childhood dream that hurts no one okay and it's kind of a funny bit to reveal it true i love those reasons if you're a man i'm like what lie are you practicing for like what are you like lying's a muscle so what are you building muscle to lie about see i do i'm kind of going on your team now i'm surprising myself with this one because i do think it would have been really really cute if it is a dude and it it does seem like he was just waiting for the right time like he wanted it to be really fun and cute when he divulged this secret room i do think it would have been amazing when say they have kids if they want kids and she's like we gotta move we only have a one bedroom and he's like no no no like we got this and all of a sudden he opens the bookcase and there's a perfectly like decorated little nursery that would have been cute that would have been good that would have been cute so i'm like okay wait like if there was like a real thoughtful intent behind this okay okay now i think it's a man because bad timing a woman would have done that i feel like i i hate surprises like when i buy people presents yeah i just want to give it to him right away yeah so for me we would have been dating and i would have showed them i hate a surprise we would have had sex in this room by this point like like and that's where i'm like maybe it isn't a guy because i do feel like a guy would have wanted to have sex in this room already you're so right a here like welcome to my layer you're right like now i'm like who is this who is this wow okay well we don't have enough once again we have no information to make a definitive decision about how we feel about this just left unsettled these are tough these are some real tough ones i've watched a lot of yours i've never seen ones this tough really yes i feel like i always know how i feel about the stories you read on here okay i don't know i don't know i don't know i i'm really sorry oh my gosh i did peruse the best of no updates subreddit for you so like a lot of these are just like really heavy hitters got it don't have resolutions okay wow all right i wish my team had told me that before i came here you would have canceled oh my god okay um let me give you one that it just it has a little something okay okay okay that last one had a something, but like an update. Okay. an update. Let's give you one with an update. Thank you. This episode is brought to you by Nintendo. Everyone's version of MeTime is a little different. That's why the Nintendo Switch 2 system is so fun. With exclusive and Nintendo Switch compatible games like Mario Kart World, Animal Crossing New Horizons, Nintendo Switch 2 Edition, Tamodachi Life, Live in the Dream, or Yoshi and the Mysterious Book, there's something for every vibe. And with upgraded hardware, play at home or on the go whenever the mood hits. Learn more at nintendo.com slash nintendo switch 2. Games and systems sold separately. Some Nintendo Switch games may not be supported or fully compatible with Nintendo Switch 2. Games rated E for everyone. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Season is changing. Time to clean out that closet and maybe make some extra money in the process. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value out of your life. If you're new to the game, please subscribe to the channel and hit the bell button. It's super simple to use and with no selling fees, so you keep what you earn. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees. Okay, so this one is coming from AITAH. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Questioning My Engagement After My Fiancé Got Mad at Me for Drinking While Pregnant? Okay. Sorry if this is long, I just need opinions and I can't tell if I'm being dramatic about this. Okay, so I, 22 female, recently got engaged to my fiancé, 23 male. We are both still living at home to save money to eventually get our own place. I still live with my parents, but I stay at his place most nights because it's closer to work and just easier. So this New Year's Eve, we were at his parents' house with family and a few friends. Nothing crazy, just a normal family get-together. His aunt was passing out champagne to everyone and asked me if I wanted some. But before I could even respond, my fiancé reached out and took the glass. I kind of thought it was weird, but I just ignored it because he can be oblivious sometimes. I ended up just going to the kitchen and pouring myself a drink. When I got back to the living room, he immediately noticed my drink and asked pretty loudly, is that alcohol? I said, yeah. He started getting really, really upset. He said he couldn't believe I would do that, that he thought I was more responsible and I was being reckless. I was obviously confused and I asked him what he's talking about. He said something like, quote, you're really going to mess things up before they even start? You're going to hurt the baby. The room went quiet and I was so embarrassed. I was thinking he must be drunk or something. I asked him, what baby? He said he knew I was pregnant and that he had been trying to do the right thing. He said he found a pregnancy test in the bathroom weeks ago and that he's been watching what I eat and drink and it's why he proposed. What? He said he was stepping up. Then he said he didn't know if he had made a mistake, if this was the kind of mother I was going to be. I was literally so shocked and humiliated. I told him I'm not pregnant, but he just told me I don't need to lie. I'm not pregnant, in parentheses. I ended up leaving and coming to my parents' house that night. I haven't been to his place since. He keeps trying to reach out to me and talk about it, but I'm not ready. That brings us to last night. My fiance's mom messaged me and asked me to come over and talk. She says relationships take effort and I shouldn't ruin my relationship over a little misunderstanding. I don't even know what to do. I love my fiance. But I can't stop thinking, if he never thought I was pregnant, would he have even proposed to me? I'm really rethinking the whole relationship. Where's this pregnancy test from? That's what I want to know. They don't say? That's the original post. I wish I'd never come here. Are you kidding me? I thought it was going to be the mom. The mom-in-law was going to be like, it was mine. We do get an update. Remember? I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being upset. I thought there was no update. I wish I had EKG monitors on you just to see your pulse. You probably have some tachycardia, maybe some skipping a beat over there. I'm not doing well. I'm not doing well. I should have gotten you a stress ball. You really should have. Damn. What happened? For the love of God. What's your guess? What's your take on it? My guess is it's his mom is pregnant. 23. 23. Yeah. So his mom might be like 40, early 40s, and you could still get pregnant then. So I'm guessing it's his mom. Okay. I hope that's all that happened, but this is Reddit, so. You never know. The top comment is that. Of course. Bigger question, who in your house is pregnant? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because obviously he's not ready for marriage or kids if he's going to find something like that and not have an actual conversation with you. Yeah. I mean, they shouldn't be engaged. They're obviously not ready to jump. 22? Yeah. They said 22, 23, living at home. I was like, whatever happened, call it. Whatever happened, just get out of there or just wait longer, okay? We don't need to be getting married right now, but this is crazy. I know. I can't. I'm hoping he didn't make up the pregnancy test. Well, so some people in the comments are like, are we sure he didn't find a COVID test? That's so funny. People are like, is this even a pregnancy test? That would be so funny. The update. He's 23, you know, maybe he's confused. Yeah. Imagine being this guy, finding this post and everyone's like, does he know what a pregnancy test is? I mean, some of them are very clear. Like, some of them are now like, I forget what brand, but it's like, people were still messing it up that it literally just says pregnant or not pregnant. Like, yeah, it's crystal. It's crystal. So I'm going to assume it's an actual pregnancy test. But like, to be like. Yeah. Pull the drink away and just be so dramatic in front of everyone. No, it's crazy. He clearly doesn't want to get married. He's just doing it because he thinks you're pregnant. He's stepping up. Yeah. That's why I think he's not lying. No. Yeah. So update. So a bunch of comments are asking about the pregnancy test my fiance found. I don't know why I didn't even question that when he said it. I think I was just in shock. I've never taken a pregnancy test at his house, so I don't know if he saw something and thought it was a test or if he's being crazy and making it up. I just, I just messaged his mom back and I'm going to go over there and talk and figure out what I want to do. I do really like his family and I still love my fiance or boyfriend. I don't know what to call him now. He's never really done things to make me worry before. So I want to at least listen before I throw everything away. I think people were in the comments being like, what other girls are you having over? Who's the side chick? Pregnancy test. Side chick's pregnant? To his parents' house? You know, people are diabolical. I read a story lately where this woman was like, my sister sent me this picture. I'm trying to talk her off the ledge. Is there any plausible reason? And it was like a bunch of like press on nails that she keeps finding placed all over her house. And it's like, no, no, no. Side chick's coming over, ripping off her nails, trying to send a message. This would be a big message to send. Yeah, that's true. You know, here's the test. Is there another update? There is another update. Okay. All right. Update. I went over to my boyfriend's house and all caps. It did not go as expected. I honestly don't even know what I was expecting, but after reading some of the comments about whose test it was, or even if it was a pregnancy test, I had to find out. My boyfriend was really happy to see me when I got there. I don't think his mom told him I was coming. He seemed really genuine and just kept apologizing. His mom asked us to sit down and started crying and saying, I don't know what she's saying. She doesn't want to ruin our relationship. And she loves both of us and wants the best for us. Then she shows us a sonogram. It was his mom's test. There we go. How did you clock it so fast? Well, what else? Who else would it have been? My head went side chick. Really? Side chick. Not living with his parents. I mean, that's a, that's crazy. I dated a guy who lived with his parents and was sneaking girls in windows and bringing them over while they knew about me. And I would come the following weekend and they'd be nice to my face. Meanwhile, knowing their son had other girls, the parents knew they were diabolical too. Okay. I literally, where do you think the apple fell from? Okay. Wow. I am really, I am maybe I'm more positive than I thought. My reactions to these are, am I Pollyanna? Jesus. You are like the most positive, non-skeptical person I've ever had. I don't think of myself like that. I'm usually the person who's like, yep, they're wrong. They're lying. And now I'm like, am I very naive? Although that one I was right about. You, no, you clocked this one. I got that one. Yeah. You're just, do you meditate? Are you practicing a gratitude journal? No, not at all. I think I'm, I will say that when I was younger, I was really, really jealous and I was really insecure and I expected the worst of everybody that I was dating or otherwise. And it got me in trouble a lot and I was wrong a lot. And I think if you have gone through periods poor mental health that made you jump to conclusions and catastrophize to the point of destroying relationships you then change the way you approach situations and you actively try to give people the benefit of the doubt because it's not your natural state but if it goes poorly enough for you enough times i think i have probably rewired my brain a little bit also i hired my younger sibling who is a very forgiving understanding gives everyone the benefit of the doubt very empathetic and i think being around them all the time has really chilled me out like it's really it is very hard not to feel like a bad person in comparison it's rubbed off on you when you're like telling them something and you're like well that person just did this and this is what that means and they're always like well have you thought about it from this perspective and i'm like oh i guess not i'm not i guess i didn't and then again yeah i've just i've come at like old boyfriends for stuff and then i was so wrong like i once found a wristband in my boyfriend's car an old boyfriend a wristband that was just like a paper wristband from like an event or something and i said what's this and he said i don't know and i was like what what do you mean and he goes i just don't know he's like i don't remember i don't know what that is and we fought about it for a while come to realize it either of us remembered i was like remember when you went to that one thing and they put a wristband on you and i went oh yeah and he was pissed and i was like yeah well it's like you i think you kind of have had the opposite of experience of what a lot of people have like i mean everyone kind of knows like the proof is in the pudding yeah so it's like if you've been hurt whether it's you know people cheating or just trust issues whatever you start to then expect it because it's been proven oh they cheated the next one cheated but you i've also been cheated on okay well i feel like you i don't know again here we go with the positive and i don't know what you're doing but we should harness it in a bottle because you have taken that like i used to be really pessimistic i was always assuming the worst whatever and you start to be like well they didn't prove me right and it wasn't the worst and it was my wristband so maybe now i'll be more positive i won't assume the worst but some people were cheating on me they're like there was something i dated on and off for years and i always thought was cheating on me always thought couldn't prove it swore up and down he wasn't i worked on it in therapy for years i go what's wrong with me that i thought this guy was cheating on me he never did and i there's been so many opportunities for him to tell me he never i have no proof i just felt like he was and there were certain things that i was like that's a little weird and i worked on it in therapy and i did all this work on myself come to find out he tells me years later that he was sleeping with sex workers behind my back and i was like i was so relieved that i was right that i wasn't even mad no because i was like thank god your radar has been like pinging and you're like something's off something's off but on paper everything's looking pretty good oh that is so horrifying isn't that crazy and then because it just like makes you feel it makes you feel crazy and then like i've dated i also dated somebody who like i was trying really hard to like they spent a lot of time with a friend of theirs and i was like oh they're not they wouldn't do that they're very honest whatever and then when we broke up like they were together and i was like immediately okay so it is this difficult balance and it probably depends on what day you catch me on but there's this difficult balance of like okay what is anxiety and what's my gut yeah right and it's like they tell you that your gut feels like more calm like more of a calm knowing and then anxiety is like you're panicking but it's i mean it's really taken me years to get to a place where honestly if somebody lied to me and hurt me it would depend on what it was but i think i'm in a place now where i've gone to enough therapy and stuff where i'm like well i know it's not about me whatever it is ultimately ultimately yeah it's more of a them maybe some projection yeah that's crazy the way you describe gut because like you think about it it's like i do think when it finally clocks and you just feel this like inner just like you're composed but you're like no no this is messed up and it's very grounded yeah it was yeah it was funny and just like really fun for me to watch your most recent special and then go back to the first one because you do you talk about in your 20s you don't have a gut like yet and like you talk about that and then the last one you were just like no no like i'm i'm more tuned in so and i do a joke about that guy in the first one where i go i thought this guy was cheating on me he never did but he did this other funny thing and then the next special i'm like that guy cheated on me just so insane you're leaving me with a lot to ponder i know i'm sorry i'm getting no i love it's not about me it's about it's about his mom the op it's about the mom being pregnant now um op is original poster right yeah you did some research too you're on it i've seen this i've seen this i also got on i got into reddit like this last year did you like never really been on reddit before and it's genuinely really helpful when you have like health questions or acne or something like that like it's really helped me get to the bottom of a lot of stuff i literally had like a car problem and i posted a recording of the car like thud and people were like your um your delivery braces from when they shipped the car over they never took them off sure enough i bring it to the dealer and they go yeah how'd you know about that that's awesome read it okay okay yeah reddit's cool anything anything and also really dark and scary yeah you just gotta you just don't get lost don't stray don't get lost in the sauce so op does go on to say literally all of this stupid drama because my boyfriend is an idiot yeah he said he didn't think his mom could get pregnant anymore because she's in her 40s so the only other possibility was for it to be mine but he didn't want to ask me so i could tell him myself i love surprising people so honestly that does make sense but like it had been weeks he could have said something after all that time his mom said she didn't say anything at the party because she didn't know what she was going to do yet and didn't want anyone at the party finding out but it still bothers me that she let me take the embarrassment instead or she could have at least told us in private instead of letting us not talk for over a week yes i do kind of feel bad now that my boyfriend really thought i was pregnant and thought i wasn't taking it seriously i talked to him about the engagement and if he meant what he said about stepping up he said he had already had the ring for a while but was waiting for the right time and when he saw the test he thought of it as a sign and got excited thinking of us as a little family okay he says he only said what he said at the party in the heat of the moment thinking i was someone who would risk our baby like that and he didn't actually mean it i think i believe him as of now we aren't engaged but we are still together i told him we really need to work harder on communication if we want to make our relationship last a lot of the comments were saying he's a red flag and stuff and i can see where you're coming from but this was really the only time he's been like that i think his intentions were sweet but came off wrong a lot of other people are saying we are too young to get married but my parents got married young and are still together so i think it depends if we do get engaged again i told him to actually wait until he's ready and not when he thinks he needs to i think she handled this great that was a happy ending i really do i think she handled that really really well and i think anything she would have chosen would have been right yeah in this situation i like i think about myself at 22 and like i don't think i was this mature no not at all like i can't even imagine like being like we need to communicate more and like okay we're not engaged now but like please you know let's proceed forward like no who is this this is an amazing amazing woman and i'm sorry i talked down to you being 22 that's but it's young like it's so young you you think about that age from your perspective and like me at 22 like i don't even know where i was like what was i doing no we're good that is a complicated situation and i understand why everybody reacted the way they did yeah to everything that happened so okay i could understand being like we're gonna work through this and get past it but i am glad that she's like we're not engaged right now yeah no take a step back i mean they're both still living at home yeah i think first and foremost like try living together this whole situation red flag for him green flag for her oh yeah i mean she's well balanced yeah okay move on to this i feel better i feel better you feel good yeah okay you're gonna ruin it again just soak that in for you know maybe 10 more seconds okay okay oh my god because this this next person okay was not thinking about her and she was like i don't know i don't know i don't know thinking very clearly like our last one okay this episode is brought to you by credit karma breathe in now breathe out you feel that that's the calm of having intuit credit karma in your corner if you're trying to get your life together in this crazy world credit karma is a great place to start with the money stuff your credit score isn't just a number it can unlock better rates more options and real savings so whether you're moving leasing a car or upgrading your cards it good knowing your credit is working for you. When you start to feel like there's too much much on your plate, you can count on Credit Karma for less craziness and more credit. This episode is brought to you by Revolve. If you're looking at your closet right now thinking, no, none of this is working, just go to Revolve. I love that they have the brands I actually want. There's always something new and I can order a few options because the shipping is fast and the returns are easy. Go to revolve.com slash THT to shop my faves and use code THT for 15% off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out. This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Kidnapping My Fiance for Her Birthday to Take Her to an Escape Room? She is so freaking pissed at me. Oh my God. When you do the air quotes, I get so scared. Using a throwaway since if Becca sees this, the fight will continue. Some background. My fiance Becca is an escape room fanatic. We have taken vacations centered around escape rooms. She loves them that much. She's very good at them. And so when my friend started an escape room business, he actually hired Becca to consult for him and his business is a hit. So he recently started this escape van service, which is basically like a rolling party van slash escape room. He asked me if Becca would like, to try it out. I had one better since her birthday was yesterday. Why don't we surprise her? He was totally on board. This is where things get a little dicey. So we went to see John Wick. And when we walked out, Becky, my friend and I agreed that his van would be outside to throw us in and let us sample the escape room puzzle on the way to his business. I'm literally crying. What? So this is exactly what happened. One of his employees got a little rough with me. So I sort of yelped as he was tossing me in the van. Becca lost it. Even though the guide started in his spell of quote, you are now captives of the XXX co escape van to get you out. You will need to solve five consecutive puzzles. Oh, well, if they said that, that's okay. Are you serious? I mean, you get the idea. Well, Becca, didn't hear any of that. She was just sobbing when we started rolling. It was even worse. We hit a stop sign in the movie theater parking lot. And Becca literally shoved the guy out of the way, opened the door to the van and took the fuck off into the Dave and Buster's next to the movie theater. She even dropped her phone in the street on the way out. And I stopped to pick it up. And then she screamed at me, run, you fucking idiot. So Dave and Buster's security team called 911. Within two minutes, there were cops everywhere. It took us maybe five minutes to sort everything out. And the cops basically screamed at me and Becky, who was driving the van, that this was the stupidest thing they've ever heard of. And he's lucky that it's Saturday and they don't have time to deal with us. Becca is so furious at me. She hasn't spoken to me other than to say she was sleeping on the couch. She has given me the cold shoulder all morning. She has never been this mad and won't speak to me. Even if I ask her to please tell me what's wrong. To me, I had a good idea, but the execution really sucked. Was I the asshole here? We were getting to the end of the story and I forgot that it was, am I the asshole? And I was like, what could he possibly be asking us, the people at home? What could he possibly, what reason could he have for sharing this publicly? Is he really confused? Imagine if you're, husband did this to you and then had the audacity to be like, what's wrong, babe? What's wrong? But what is it? What did I do? What did I do? Please tell me. He's lucky Becca's sleeping on that couch. Are you fucking kidding me? That's the worst story I've ever heard in my life. I'm sure all the comments are like, you are the asshole. Yeah. That's unanimous, that one. Yeah. I mean, I don't know why it seems- What if I was like, we need Becca's side? Yeah. I'd be like, okay. I'm like, we just, we need to hear what she thinks. We're going to cut that one from the episode. No, I just like, I feel like it's, it's come up in a story before where it was a story coming out of Kazakhstan. And it is like a thing over there that they will sometimes do a kidnap prank in order to propose. And it's like a thing. And I've had someone like recently messaged me about it and be like, that happened to my friend. She was kidnapped for her proposal. And it, it, this is like for a birthday surprise, which the last fucking thing I'd ever want for my birthday. I don't think anyone would want that for their birthday, but I don't know why it seems like guys typically have this like fetish to want to kidnap people. Even like they try to like brush it off. Like, is that, am I going crazy? I've never dated a guy that was like, what if I kidnapped you? Like, I've never run into that. Blindfold? Nothing? Blindfold, sure. But not, I know where I am. Okay. We're not in a car. We're not moving. You can blindfold me at home. I feel like I've seen some people get blindfolded and then they get in the car and they go to like a dinner surprise. Like some TikTok people tell about like. Well, yeah, but they get in the car. They go, we're going to dinner. Yeah, that's true. Or they go, I have a surprise. I'm going to blindfold you. I'm going to take you. It's me, the person you know. It's me. It's me, the person you know and you've dated. Although even then, I don't know. I don't know. It's not doing it for me. Yeah. For sure. It's actually insane that he even like had to write in and was just like, it was a good idea. That was an easy one though. Do you feel. But he clearly thought people were going to be like, yeah, she likes escape rooms. Well, it's seven years old. So I think we were in a very different place in the world seven years ago. This would have gone over even worse now. Yeah. I'm like, I don't remember seven years ago people being like, Yeah, kidnap your girlfriend. No. Yeah, no. It's not that long ago. Okay. Yeah. Top comment. Fully, you're the asshole. Yeah. No doubt. You're the asshole, but also, yikes. The escape room now has a van and the owners are fine with making people who aren't in on it think they're being abducted. That's crazy. That seems destined to end badly. OP does respond and goes, Be clear, this wasn't the standard way he's going to run the van. I just thought Becca would immediately recognize it as such because she's so good at escape rooms. Oh my God. That's okay. So you don't know her at all or anything in general. That was upsetting. Yeah. I mean, you essentially gave her potentially, right? Like PTSD for this like birthday surprise. Yeah. Which look, that's what dating metal duty is. Common side effect. Dating men. It's just like, I don't even remember what it's like. I just like, I'm, I can't relate anymore. I'm glad you're married. Well, and that's like, you're special. I was like, I felt a little attacked at some points, but I'm like, okay, I gotta be more in tune with my friends. Yeah. You know? You're coming from a place of privilege. Married. Yeah, we've spent like seven years. Is it? I think so. But now you're diversifying your dating pool. I mean, it's so much better dating women. It's way, way better. What's like, what do you think is like the common difference you've come across? The common difference or the biggest difference? Yeah. Biggest difference. Like. I mean, women are just way more considerate, generally speaking. I mean, it's not like across the board or anything, but straight men are just not, I don't know. They're not in tune. Society doesn't really raise them to be considerate and empathetic. So. Empathy is something that really needs to be taught more. Yeah. If it can be taught. A lot of people argue that. I did. I did a lot of teaching. Empathy. Everyone I dated. You should do a masterclass. Honestly, I could. Maybe it's time. You really have to break it down though. You're like, just imagine you're someone else. If you were going to give straight guys out there three tips, what would it be? Oh my gosh. Or just one. Three's a lot. I know. Three's a lot. Three's a lot. Make a plan. Listen and put yourself in other people's shoes. Seems so simple. You would think. So simple. Okay. Well, this next one, I feel like he could have definitely taken point number three from you. Oh no. And tried to apply this. I think a common theme you come across in Taylor's specials, you guys, if you're going to watch, which you need to, but it's like therapy and just like. Yes. You're just, you just seem so healed. I'm just so jealous. No one's ever accused me of that once. Really? This is incredible. Yeah. I just like. I really appreciate that. I'm like, damn, I really need to start putting in more work. What the fuck? But this one has to do with some therapy. Okay. And I think, I think you're very qualified to, to speak on this. Okay. So this is really fresh. This is 10 hours old. Whoa. Yeah. So we could really change a life here. We have the potential. Wow. Okay. So it is titled, Am I wrong for refusing to apologize to my fiance's mom for something I wrote in a never send? therapy letter. I'm 28 female, my fiance is 30 male. We've been together for five years, engaged for eight months. His family is very involved, like group chat every day, shared holidays, constant drop-by visits. I come from a much quieter background where people text first and don't discuss every single feeling at the dinner table. His mom is sweet in some ways, but she is also extremely intense. She comments on my weight, on our future kids' names, on what kind of wife she thinks I will be, all of this with a smile like it's just harmless talk. I tried to set small boundaries, and she cried twice and said that she just wants to be included. It got to the point that I started having stomach aches before we visited. My fiancé suggested couples counseling last fall, partially because of wedding stress, partially because he could see I was withdrawing around his family. Our son-in-law, who is now in the middle of his third year of high school, The therapist gave us an exercise where we each write unsent letters to the people we are frustrated with. The rules were, you write honestly, you never have to show it, it can be messy, it can be unfair. The point is to get the raw feelings out so you can look at them with the therapist and then figure out how to communicate the cleaned-up version in real life. In my letter, it was to his mom, and I did not hold back. I wrote that I feel like she wants a second wife, for her son more than a daughter-in-law, that I feel inspected like a product she bought, that her constant comments about my body and fertility scare me. I also wrote some harsher stuff, like that I sometimes dread having children, partly because I imagine her criticizing my parenting every day. It was ugly and emotional, but it honestly helped. I brought the notebook to our next session because the plan was to read selected parts with the therapist and my fiancé present. The night before the session, my fiancé came home early while I was showering. My notebook was on the desk. He admits he opened it up, quote, just to see what you wrote about me. And then he just kept reading. By the time I came out, he was sitting on the couch looking like he had been punched. He said the things I wrote about his mom were vicious and borderline character assassination. He said it was a private therapy exercise, not an email to his family. He said that it doesn't matter, because now he knows what I really think of her, and that it feels like a betrayal, that I never said anything that strong to him. So she didn't write one to him? Just to his mom. Okay. Which begs the question, now he thought it was to him, which means that his is to her. Yep. Since then, he has been insisting that I need to apologize to his mom in person. For, quote, harboring those feelings, and for speaking about her that way in any context. I told him I will happily work with the therapist on how to set actual boundaries and maybe have a calm conversation with his mom about specific behaviors, but I am not apologizing to her for words she was never meant to see, and only knows about because he violated my privacy. He keeps saying if I loved him, I would repair the day. I told him I was going to be a good person, but I was not. I told him I was going to be a good person, and say sorry so this isn't hanging over us at the wedding. Am I wrong for refusing to apologize to his mom for a private therapy letter he was never supposed to read in the first place? Dude, who cares about his mom? Break up with him. Are you serious? This is bad. This is so bad. Are you serious? She's not even asking, should I stay with this guy? No. She's like, should I apologize to his mom? Get out of there. Are you serious? I'm like sweating right now. That's horrible. That's 10 hours ago. Can we make an account? This is crazy. Yeah. Can we, did she leave her phone number? Like, let's, I want to save her. That's crazy. How do we get to you, friend? Literally, how do we get to you? No, that's horrible. Yeah. That's absolutely horrible. Also, everything she listed that she put in the letter about his mom did not sound that bad. When she was like, but I also wrote really vicious things, like that I'm scared she's going to criticize my parenting. What? Um, she's already commenting on it and you don't even have kids. She's commenting on your weight. Yeah. That's not even a crazy, you said nothing about her as a person or like everything you wrote is nicer than what she's saying to you. It sounds like. And even if you did get meaner, which I'm not even getting that. I think this person has been gaslit so hard that like these thoughts that are not even mean or she's now thinking they're mean, but even if she did go harder, that's okay because this was literally homework. And he has no excuse. He understood the assignment because he received one himself. I think that he feels really bad about what he wrote about her. And so he's trying to now, he went looking because he wanted her to write something terrible, found something that honestly isn't that bad. And he's trying to like make it her issue to make himself feel less bad about what an asshole he is in his own private mind. And outwardly, it sounds like. Yeah. No, I bet you're. No, I bet you're. I bet you're right. I bet he wanted to find hers and read it before. So maybe he could write a second one, one that wasn't as bad. Yeah. I don't even know what his would be though. Or pick a fight with her over what she wrote about him. Like one of the, something. This guy, I feel like, I don't know. I can't tell if he wants control or he wants out or what, but you need to get out. I lean towards control. Yeah. Especially given the like emotional manipulation. That's true. It's so much worse. It's so much work too. Like if you really just want it out, that's so much work. I think like people need to just get more comfortable with like, it's okay to break up. It's okay to break up. Like sunken cost fallacy is a construct in your head. Like go run. Yes. Like I'm like, I feel like I've gotten to this age where I'm like, I love my mom. I do. I love her. But I'm almost like, you start parenting your parents a little. Yeah. And she lost her partner a couple of years ago and has started dating. Again. And my crash out at home was like over a new partner. And I'm just like, don't you see the mistakes of the past coming forward to write themselves again? Yeah. It's just like sunken cost fallacy is not like, you're so much better off just walking away. And I hope this girl sees the comments on this because we're going to get into a couple of them and just walks away because like she's 28. Yes. Prime of your life. Prime of your life, babe. Get out. Five years. Who cares? It's fine. Don't waste another one. Yeah. It's great. You had a long relationship in your twenties. It teaches you a lot. I just cannot even believe him being like, if you loved me, you'd repair the damage to the family. How's your family going to know unless you tell them? I hate him so much. I'm just like, I'm literally, you guys, I'm sitting here sweating over this one. I'm so mad. And I'm like, I picked it. I did this to myself. You're like, I knew it. I knew it was coming. So the top comment. You're not wrong, but you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life if you marry this man. Next comment. I bet he already told his mom on her. They use the word mommy, which is probably more accurate. Next one. With how hard he still latched to his mother's teat, she was probably there while he read it. Can't imagine any time when reading something private in and of itself isn't a breach of trust and a betrayal. And I think he had to read it. He had to read it too, and that goes back to the control. Like, he had to, like, be so. You're going to hear it in therapy. Like, why do you need. I know. You're literally going to hear it. Oh, my God. There's so much to unpack with this one. But also such a simple solution. Just get out. Like, there's nothing to even discuss. Just leave. Have you ever broken up with someone after meeting their family? Honestly, no. Everyone I've dated has had pretty nice families. Okay. I haven't had that. That's becoming, I think, like. Like, more of a talked-about thing now. Yes. Where people are like, I need to meet the in-laws way quicker off the bat. Yes. Because I'm not going to be stuck with shitty ones. Yeah. That's a good point. I mean. Because if they are really attached to their parents and their parents are, like, evil, then, yeah, that's not going to work. And I do have friends who have gone through that. And it's tough. It's really hard. Really hard. If you're going to have kids, it's like. Yeah. No. And then it's like. It's like, are you willing to cut them off? Yeah. You get a lot of those. Yeah. A lot of, like. There's one that popped up recently where this guy was writing in. He's like, I'm not proposing until my girlfriend cuts off her parents. And they have two kids. Like, they're very intertwined already. And it's just like, what do you do at that point? Yeah. No, that's really tough. It is. No comments from OP yet. No update. I hope she leaves. Again, it's. 10 hours old, I'm going to send her a message now and just be like, hey, like, have you ever want to talk about this like read it on the pod yeah yeah no I I send messages to these people from my um my traceable oh that's nice my traceable reddit account well it's like hard because even if I used my throwaway then it would be like if I talk about it on the pod then people I feel like dots could be connected yeah so I'm like I just send it from my that's nice my little reddit I've um I've like bought people birthday cakes before and like sent people like presents after reading their story like I really like I get I get attached to these people even though they don't know me at all that's really sweet so have you messaged people and said like hey you really need to get out of there and then they did yeah wow I get a lot of updates on that um I think like my feedback that I really appreciate the most all of it I really do love all of you out there but I've had people come to live shows and be like you are the reason I left a really bad relationship and it's from hearing these stories yeah recognizing similar aspects that they're dealing with and being like wait you're saying it's not right like I don't have to deal with that so I really appreciate getting that feedback oh that's really cool it is it just like it's like I think you don't realize sometimes the stuff you're putting out like obviously like it's a job and you find it meaningful but it's like you don't realize how much it can reach people yeah I'm like I'm sure you get that yeah I'm sure you get that with your with your specials for sure this episode is brought to you by vinted season is changing time to clean out that closet and maybe make some extra money in the process vinted is a second-hand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value out of your wardrobe it's super simple to use and with no selling fees so you keep what you earn give your clothes a 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cash app today and make your money work for you cash app is a financial services platform not a bank banking services provided by cash apps bank partners visit cash app.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures okay this next one I know you're gonna have strong feelings for okay it's coming from am I overreacting only four days old it is titled am I overreacting my husband 26 male locked me 25 female out of the house for 25 minutes okay my husband and I have three-year-old twin girls and I'm currently six months pregnant with our third we got into an argument over letting our daughters play outside we got hit hard with snow but we both had work so we didn't really have a chance to let the girls play in it we were both off today so I thought perfect opportunity this was the first winter they were old enough to care about snow and they were mesmerized by it so this morning I told my husband I'm going to take the girls out to play he said he didn't want to come with because it's too cold I said that's fine I'm taking them he said he didn't want any of us outside because it's too cold I said I'm taking them I said I'm taking them I said I'm too cold and the girls will get sick I kind of just laughed and said we won't be long it's 25 degrees not negative 20 I probably didn't handle it the best and I brushed him off but he dropped it after that I got the girls bundled up and we headed out front we had fun for a few minutes and they loved it but within 10 minutes my husband was at the front door calling for the girls to come inside they go inside and I'm kind of just standing there in the front yard annoyed for a moment I go to go inside only to find that he has locked the door I'm mad now and I have to pee I start knocking and calling for him but he doesn't come to the door and is ignoring my texts and calls too even texted that I really needed to pee and he ignored that too the most upsetting part is that I could hear one of my daughters crying the entire time stressed out knowing her mom is outside so I stopped knocking and I just sat on our porch 25 minutes go by and he finally comes and unlocks the door I push past him to go to the bathroom because yeah I'm mad I'm about to pee myself and freezing at that point he's smiling like it's funny and saying quote oh I thought you said it's not that cold what's wrong we haven't spoken much today after that he has genuinely never done something like this before he's caring and not punishing or vindictive so this really is not his nature I'm appalled and really hurt I understand I annoyed him by taking the girls out and he thinks I undermined his parenting but I am a grown woman he doesn't get to punish me by locking me out of my own home or maybe he's justified I don't know I feel crazy am I overreacting no what I immediately just want to be like divorce it's well it's so weird it's so hard when people say like they've never done anything like this before and it's completely out of character and I'm like that just seems so crazy but like I guess people fuck up sometimes but just like that's just something that would never even enter my mind to do no so I can't imagine doing it by mistake you know because that's like that's malicious and intentional it's not like something slipped your mind or being inconsiderate no selfish like those all feel more impulsive and this just feels mean I know I feel like for me I'm like a borderline slash maybe it just does like feel abusive yeah and some people might jump and be like Morgan it's not that dramatic he was just trying to show her how cold it was it's like no but like the minute you start punishing your partner like I feel like that's when it like it is abuse like even stonewalling if you get stonewalled and ignored for days at a time like I think that can be really difficult like I don't I don't know with this one and I'm kind of in the same boat as you where I'm like there's been nothing before this because this is like zero to 100 yeah I'm like there's really been nothing like is he sick like does he have a brain tumor like is his personality completely different now like yeah because that seems like a real 180 if there's never been anything I'm just shook and to do that for 25 minutes and then open the door and still be proud of the decision like that's plenty of time for you to cool down too I would have like immediately because she had her phone I would have like gone in an uber yeah gone to a little coffee shop nearby I would have like you're gonna fuck with me and here's where I get like I'm like okay am I petty am I toxic maybe I would have just been like diabolically mean back and I'm like that's not healthy like I know I'm just like but you're gonna lock me out as our kids are crying you can't leave when your kid's crying probably like it would I think that would be hard to be like I'm gonna jump in an uber while my kid's crying inside knife to the heart like oh but like how bad of a parent is he locking you out hearing your kids cry and then still keeping the door locked yeah no that's really scary I honestly brain tumor something's wrong that's kind of if he's really never been like this and she is like I'm so confused it's completely out of character he's never been like this I don't even recognize this person I am kind of like what's going on like what's wrong he needs a brain scan yeah or a couple of parasite do parasites do that do parasites make you mean like I'm like what what could possibly be going on addiction maybe I'm like yeah something yeah something's going on if this is truly not him yeah some people though like do change when you start getting more locked down like I know some people have talked about and we've had stories on the show where they get pregnant and immediately their partner does a 180 and it's like whoa like now that I'm locked in I know but this is the third okay six months pregnant also she's six months pregnant I forgot about that she's insane I just don't know why the third kid would make you switch flip like that how old are they again he's 26 that's what I'm saying 25 being in your 20s you change so much like your brain's still developing like maybe he's just becoming a dick honestly I was a completely different person when I was 26 I just like I still I'm just like what the fuck is wrong with him it's like I know our brains like people are like your brain never stops developing it's not 26 for guys or whatever the common trope is but you were upset that you didn't want your kids outside in the cold but then you leave your six months pregnant wife outside in the cold also if the kids are properly dressed it's not a big deal people leave their babies outside in sweden yep they just park them outside and they go into the cafe yep it's like it's a thing there i want to go i want to experience it i want to find like an adult-sized sleeping bag an adult-sized stroller and i just want to go like take a nap in the snow that seems so comfy this could be an experience they they could sell i also was kind of like is she dressed for the snow when he locked her out i know because she probably wasn't planning on being out there yeah that's why i'm like i feel like i don't know and she had to pee yeah see i would have just peed myself i just wouldn't like i hate him i really hate him so much i hate him there's only one comment from op okay you know i think with ai recently a lot of people jump to ah this is a bot op responds unfortunately not a bot and this is my real life i just opened reddit and i'm genuinely overwhelmed with all of the responses crying emoji that was a full 24 hours the original post so the comment was three days ago after that no comments no update yet so hopefully we get one that's tough to say three kids they do and the top comment i think really does like talk her like down and just be like you are not overreacting yeah because she's questioning her sanity yeah no the fact that he didn't apologize immediately is crazy like even if you did something that messed up if you did something that messed up you're not going to be if he had opened the door after like 10 minutes and been like i'm sorry that was a bad joke yeah that would be different than 25 minutes opens the door smiling yeah to make a point i think that smirk that would have just like are you serious like when someone smirks at you so the top comment has 6k upvotes not overreacting there's a big difference between going outside and actively playing in the snow for a few minutes and sitting out in the freezing cold yeah i think that's people take kids skiing all the time there are also countries that leave their kids outside to nap in the snow in their prams also it isn't even about being cold so much he refused you access to your own home he separated you from your children while they were distressed he could have made you soil yourself and showed your girls that men don't need to respect the women they are in a relationship with all to teach you a lesson because you dared not agree with his every opinion and decided to create a beautiful moment for you and i think that's a really good point and i think that's instead how would he have felt if you had to go to your neighbor to use the bathroom and explain exactly why to them would he have been embarrassed to other people for them to have known what he did to you or would he have stood by it i would be keeping an eye on that type of behavior to make sure he doesn't escalate his actions were completely over the top and totally out of proportion to the situation because he also did get asked to go outside yeah he could have bundled up and been out there having fun with his kids yeah but he choose not to that guy needs therapy not couple therapy he needs therapy individually i feel like maybe anger management too yeah this is so retaliative retaliative retaliatory yeah thank you like he didn't want to go and then i think from the minute he said no and she was like well i'm still gonna do it anyways he was planning on how he could get back at her yeah and so he didn't go with after they went like sometimes i just wish people would like just get like just like knocked over by like not killed but just like let's knock some sense into him a little yeah yeah hit with a snowball yeah fall over while you're tying your shoe slip on ice like something that's just like karmic universe taking control and helping but not terrible but i will definitely keep you posted if you get an update on this one and the last one this episode is brought to you by chrysler life with kids is basically a never-ending series of plot twists one minute everyone's buckled in the next someone's dropped a snack lost a shoe or needs a bathroom break immediately that's why the newly designed chrysler pacifica is built for real life with thoughtful features like stone ghost seating hands-free sliding doors and passenger seating up to eight it helps keep everything moving because family life isn't about the perfect moments it's about making the most of any moment visit your local dealer or chrysler.com to learn more and schedule a test drive today chrysler is a registered trademark of sca us llc this episode is brought to you by billy i don't know about you guys but i get a little lazy in the winter i'm in hibernation mode and i grow out my leg hair a little bit but it's getting warmer and now i'm excited for that first shave of the season and if you are then you got to get the billy razor in your life it's designed for how women actually shave legs pits toes happy trails and i'm excited for that first shave of the season wherever prickles decide to show up it has five sharp blades and a pivoting head so you can actually get everywhere without doing shower gymnastics and it comes with a magnetic holder so your razor stays dry on the wall instead of sitting in a shower puddle grab a billy razor in your favorite color in store or at mybilly.com but one last one for you okay okay i'm gonna give you a choice option one am i the actual billy razor or am i the actual chrysler i don't know for not showing more sympathy for my wife when she mangled her hand using a gift from her mother that i told her was dangerous or option two my 30 male wife 31 female of five years built a secret facebook slash instagram page of me befriended as many of my exes she could find to get dirt on past relationships i feel violated beyond words that one i want that one okay that's an easy decision everyone's gonna be like morgan are you fucking kidding i had to be sure i appreciate the the choice okay this is gonna be good he does end it with is it time to leave so to get this out there i have zero personal social media presence save for linkedin i do however have several businesses and each one of those has a separate social media profile that are pretty independent of each other so i'm not a total noob when it comes to social media but i'm still actually shocked that she my wife was able to pull this off things got really weird last week when a girl that i had been on a few dates with when i was 21 or 22 contacted me through one of my business pages at first it was a little weird because i honestly hadn't thought about her in almost a decade but she was friendly and said something like she was sorry to come at me out of the blue and had gotten my contact info from a she told me that she thought someone was running a fake facebook profile with my name i honestly thought it was some setup to tell me that she had secretly had a baby and was calling me all these years later to say it was mine that would have been less weird than the truth i searched for my name and sure enough there was one same for instagram my wife and i moved from across the country so the account was based in my hometown which i suppose is one of the reasons i never came across it i looked through the friends list and there were a few friends from high school an aunt i never talked to but as i looked closer i would say 30 out of the 44 friends this profile had were either ex-girlfriends former friends with benefits flings and girls that had crushes on me in high school wife and i went to the same high school okay but didn't date college okay the page was not active but did have some very recent pics from our house vacations and whatnot it could not have been more clear that my wife set up the account because i had seen her take some of these photos from her phone so an elaborate hacking was next to impossible i confronted her about it and at first she denied it and then she tried to accuse me of having the account to get in touch with exes she then went to oh it must have to be hacking i said i wasn't buying any of it and she actually walked out on me and was gone for basically the entire weekend i was so angry i didn't even bother trying to find out where she went she showed up on sunday and basically confessed to everything what she claims happens is she found out that i had slept with one of her friends which is absolutely not true and was overcome with jealousy and decided that she had to figure out details about how she was going to so she created the account and searched out girls she knew i had dated contacted friends and family to see if she missed any and then would try to start conversations with them i demanded to see the account and conversations but she had deleted the account and everything was gone forever she has just given me vagaries of what she said in those conversations but i have a feeling that no one of her friends is going to do the same thing she did with her exes so i'm going to find out what she's going to do with her exes she says she didn't make me look bad but i can't imagine how that is even possible i must look like a total stalker asshole to so many people in my hometown and region i told her what really bothered me is that i never slept with her friend and even if i did the rational thing would have been to just talk to me not go fucking crazy in my present state of mind i'm not going to be able to talk to her friend i'm not going to be able to talk to her I can't imagine staying with her. But I've never been a rash person. We have no kids, so we can essentially make a clean break. But I just want to get a different perspective. Is it time to leave? Yeah. Are any of the comments saying no? Would you be surprised? Yes. I would be surprised. Reddit doesn't like jumping to divorce. What? Yeah. People really don't like it. I mean, that's a crazy one. I think it's also the fact that she didn't fall on her sword right away. No. Like, it wasn't like. Secret room doesn't look so bad now, huh? Really? Really coming around on the secret room, aren't we? Uh-huh. That's crazy. Yeah. And the fact, 30. But then I'm like, okay, 30? Are you kind of a little bit of a player? Like, am I getting the full story from you? I still think that is way too high. Yeah. Like, that's unhinged behavior. You think maybe he did sleep with a friend? No. Okay. No. I think that she's using that as, like, an easy ploy. Because, especially if they're still friends. Like, I would kind of ask myself, like, well, if you found out that I slept with your friend, why are you still friends with her? So, I do think she's just a little unhinged, insecure. How old is she? 31. Yeah. You can't do that at 31. 21. 21. 21. That's a funny story. 21, you know. We all did that at 21. We're all making fake Instagrams. Never had one. Really? Never. Never. I made one one time. What'd you do on it? I didn't do anything. Because Instagram told my contacts. No. Yup. I made one once for a second. But it was connected to my. Oh, my God. Yes. It sabotaged you. It did. So, some of. Whoever, like, put their contact number in Instagram. I don't know. My old roommate texted me and said, Hey, is this you? Because my phone just texted me. Instagram just texted me. Your contact, Taylor Townsend, just joined Instagram as fake name I made up. Stop. Yup. Why would Instagram embarrass you like that? And then, one of my exes followed the account. And I was like, I wasn't even getting on this to stalk you. Specifically. But now he thinks you did. Probably. But, yeah, that was the only time I ever tried in my 20s. Damn, how do people make finstas then? I don't know. I'm too scared to try again. Yeah. I don't know how people do it. Let us know in the comments if you're a pro. Yeah, please. Help us out. Top comment. She needs professional help and you should see a lawyer. Yes. Honestly. Even, you know, even on this one, they're okay with the jump to divorce. Which really surprises me. Well, I mean, that to me. That to me is. People yell at me all the time for jumping to. Really? They're like, of course you're jumping to divorce. No, they need to talk. And I'm like. Oh, my gosh. I don't know if there's much to talk about. Yeah. That's. There's nothing to talk about with this one. That's insane. Would it have been redeemable for you? Okay, she lied about it initially. Okay. She goes away for the weekend to decompress. She comes home, comes clean, and shows him everything. Because I will say, for me, it does become. It does become worse that she deleted everything. Yeah. Because then I'm like. It would be better. Yeah. if she had done that. Redeemable? We're still not staying. Okay. No. Couples therapy couldn't save you? You're 31. You're 31. I know. And that's, like, illegal what you're doing, I think. Right? Feels like it. It feels illegal. Especially, like, it's just so. I'm trying to, like, put my head in her head to be like, why would you do this? But I'm like, were you sending nudes of your husband to these women? To try to, like, elicit. I didn't even go there. elicit an affair? Like, what were you sending them? What were you trying to see? Who you can and can't trust from his past? I feel like she was trying to see if he was going to cheat on her. But she was. Like. You're so right. That makes no sense. Like, she was him. That doesn't make any sense. Maybe she was trying to go back and see if he had slept with anybody from his past. And so he was. She was, like, trying to get in touch with these women. Hoping that. Hoping that, like, it would become clear that he had cheated on her with one of them or something. I mean, but just, like, go through his phone while he's asleep like a normal person. Yeah, this was wild. Like, I think, like, there's other means to that. Yeah. Other methods to the madness. Like. I don't know. That's so insane. But also, you know, let's hear her side, I guess. Because maybe he did some really crazy shit. And then we're, like, you're totally justified doing your crazy shit. I know. We have no update. Nothing else ever came of this. It is from March 27th, 2018. Wow. So, almost eight years. One of my Reddit friends, DirectCaterpillar77, found it. So, if an update ever does exist, rest assured, they will find it. But that's all we got. Wow. How are you feeling? Honestly? A little emotional. Exhausted. Yeah. This is crazy. Yeah. Can you do more than one of these episodes in a day? Um, I try not to. Because I couldn't. Um, but I'm, like, I'm going to New York next week. And I have, right now, four episodes in three days. Yeah, I feel unwell. So, that stresses me out. I feel. That was hard on my body. I know. That was hard on my body and my mind. No, it's okay. It was good. But I feel like I just did math for an hour. Are you good at math? No. I know me either. Not at all. I really want to work on that this year. Math? Mm-hmm. That's. That's so funny. I just need to be better. I'm in. It's so funny as an adult to be like, I really need to work on math. I accidentally. I tried to do math from, like, 1984 and, like, compute how many years that's been. And I said, like, 30-something. And I'm like, I just want to embarrass myself less. You just want. You were just working on, like, addition and subtraction and, like. The basics, really. Yeah, of course. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see that. Math camp for adults. If anyone has recs, let me know. But, yeah, that's. That's my goal for this year. No, I feel like I did a bunch of word problems. Mm-hmm. Just now. I. No. I'm so sorry. No, it's okay. This was great. Does it make you feel a little bit better, though, about, like, maybe your orbit and how things are going? I mean, I feel great that you said I seem healed. That feels amazing. Unbelievably so. And I do feel. I feel a little impressed with myself that. I hope I. Or stupid. I feel kind of stupid. No, why? That I. Those first two that I didn't, like, know what was going on on that first one. You were warming up. You were warming up. Maybe. Has your take changed? On the first one and the second one? No. You have no excuse. No, honestly. You'd think by this time. I still. Hindsight has not given you 20-20 vision. No. I think that guy's trying to get good at photography and he's embarrassed. And I think secret rooms should have stayed secret. For how long? Until you had a kid. Or forever. See, now I see a secret room in your future. And then this could be a great place to put your $7,000 glove. From Hugh Jackman? Hugh Jackman, yeah. I gave it to my manager. She's hard to shop for. Wow. Yeah, I framed it and gave it to my manager. Healed and generous. Wow. Healed and generous. That's my next special. That's your next one. Healed and generous. Where can people find you? How can they watch you? You can watch my latest special on Netflix, Prodigal Daughter, out February 24th. And I also have three more Netflix specials on there. So, if you don't like the new one, maybe try one of the old ones. You're going to like all of them, I'm sure. I'm so excited for the new one. All of the links will be in the description, as well as for Taylor's YouTube, if you want to see some of the confessions. I went down the rabbit hole on those. Oh, did you? Yeah, and like your friend Dustin, I think. The two of you just clamoring over those confessions. We've been friends a long time. Yeah, we're like siblings. It's really fun. I loved it. And like, you had one, and I never thought I would hear this as a sentence, but someone confessed that they had sex in a cemetery in a hammock. Oh, yes. That was a good one. Someone said that the weirdest place that they'd ever had sex was in a cemetery. In a cemetery in a hammock. And we were like, we have so many questions. Did you bring the hammock? Was the hammock there? Was it day or night? I know. Whose idea was it? Yeah. Was it fun? Do you regret it? Why did you tell anyone this? I know. That was one of the best ones we got for you. You have a lot of good content out there. So I will make it really easy to find Taylor, but thank you so much for coming on. Thank you so much for having me. This was very cozy and triggering. I'm so excited. Until next time, guys. Bye. Bye. The air, then the light, and slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress. A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross. Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college. That's why she shops at BJ's Wholesale Club, giving up the 25% off gross store prices beef jerky microwave meals laundry pods even they can't screw up have you met my kids and with bj's gas she gets there for less they call me the road warrior this is your home road warrior mom home of the save join for just 20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save