Tefi Pessoa Loves The Aisle Seat

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Elevate your wellness with Mochi Bites today. Sold exclusively at Target. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Wave. It's not that I think I am God. It's that I think if I were given the chance to be God, I do believe I would kill that. If we come from God, are we not divine ourselves? Say that again? *laughter* *music* Missouri Republicans are trying to ban abortion again. If you vote in Missouri like I do, I hope that you will join me in voting no on three to stop the abortion ban. I hope that you will share about it. I hope that you will knock on your neighbors' doors. If you have money to donate to the campaign, I hope that you will donate some. Please, please, please do not take for granted how important this is. I know that you're exhausted. We all are. The reason Missouri voters are particularly exhausted is because a couple of years ago, Missouri Republicans enacted the strictest abortion ban in the country. And then Missouri voters put it up for a vote and said, "No thanks," and voted it down. Which is extremely cool. And makes sense. Abortion bans are an extremely unpopular policy. It makes you wonder how these Republicans continue to get elected since it's their only fucking idea, apparently. And now, just two years later, the amendment is back, but this time, because the Republicans couldn't win on the issue of abortion and know that they can't win, they have wrapped up this amendment in a bunch of very dishonest language about transitioning minors' genders. So, of course, it's an anti-trans thing once again. They think you're fucking stupid. They don't respect your vote. They don't care about women. They don't care that women will die because of this if it passes. I don't want to go on a big, long rant, but abortion bans don't stop abortions. Even if you disagree with them. They only stop access to safe abortions and healthcare. And I think it is extremely telling that the Republicans in Missouri have to wrap this whole conversation up in an anti-trans bias in order to get you to try and vote for their thing, to trick you into it. I think we should really think about that and probably stop electing these people. Guys, the theater is everything. Yeah? The theater is everything. I also want to go see Paranormal Activity on Broadway. How was that? It was so scary, I cried. No? Mm-hmm. What? What? I literally cried. I'm like a big horror person. That sounds legit, right? I'm a big horror person. Yeah. I love scary stuff, and that scared me so bad, I literally started crying. Yeah. I literally started crying, and at one point, I heard people praying. What? Mm-hmm. It's so scary. What the fuck is going on with this show? I asked you. This is a perfect ad for them, by the way. I hope they cut this. No. I hope they cut this up for their socials. Well, I asked my friend, who's a playwright. I'm like, "Oh, are you going to go?" He's like, "No. It's such a money grab." You know what I mean? I'm like, "Well, that sounds amazing." They'll probably cut. Yeah. But then, there's this one. They were like, "Oh, it's so scary," because they don't use any projection or CGI or anything like that. They use old school theater tricks, and it is scary. There's a part where you realize that he's not kissing his wife. Stuff like that is really fucking scary, and it's like a slow build. The entire play is like a house sliced in two, so you're watching. The upstairs is pitch black, because no one's in the bedroom, no one's in the bathroom, and then downstairs is the living room, so your eyes are constantly watching for things. Every time there's a scare, it goes pitch black, and they play heavy metal. Mm. It is a lot for a little girl like me. Yeah. I don't think I'll be getting involved, actually. I don't want to be so scared. No, you have to go. You have to go. It was so scary. When you said old school theater tricks, I got really scared. Well, yeah. It was. There's nothing scarier to me than theater people getting excited. No, no. That. Yeah, it's like handing a baby a gun. That's scary. That's really scary. When theater people have a trick, I don't want you to have any tricks. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. But I will say, it was so scary that afterwards, I was like, "Oh my God. It was so scary that afterwards Shannon and I got on the train and we talked about God. That's how scary it was. What'd you guys come up with? I love talking about God. She was. I love that about you. What did we talk about God? She asked me, "Do you know that the Bible is like, it's been repeated everywhere?" And I was like, "Yeah, I know." But also, this one time, I went to go see a witch, and she said it had an evil entity about me. And then she started calling on Jesus, and I was like, "Oh my God. Don't tell him. This is against the rules." Of course. Yeah. This is so bad of me. If you see evil in me, don't tell Jesus. And then she was like, "Oh, did you know that across many cultures, Jesus just represents pure love?" And that set her off, because she is a Dallas lesbian, and nothing's more traumatizing than Jesus. Yeah. So then she really got into it with what Jesus might mean. Oh, we got into a fight. Yeah. We got into a fight. We got into a fight. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Oh my God. What was the fight? Jesus' absolute love. Paranormal activity will bring us. Cute. That is the paranormal activity. That was it. Kee, I think of something more funny than seeing two gorgeous, gorgeous in love lesbians fighting over. On the train in New York, fighting over whether or not Jesus is absolute love. In our theater clothes. Like out to the theater. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Wait. So Shayna was on the side that Jesus is absolute love. No. I am. You're on that side. But she's like, "That's so crazy because of what religion has done to the world." And I was like, "This is what the arts is for." Yeah. These kind of conversations. We were having a salon. Yeah. We were having a salon on the train. Mm-hmm. I don't know whose side I'm on. Are you Christian? No. Shayna's not Christian. I'm way cooler. I'm Roman Catholic. That's way cooler. We love shame. We have saints. It's sick. Yeah. And our art is way cooler. So you believe in God? I believe in God, but I'm not like. I mean, I'm with a woman. Yeah. How? But also, there are some things in there that I'm like, "I'm not going to go to church every Sunday." Or like. I'm going to be a little gay. I'm going to not go to church every Sunday. Yeah. I'm going to be doing it freestyle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. mm-hmm he's the sweetest he's like if like if like the sweetest little barn owl was was a boy for a day i can't explain it no i i actually understand that you know what i mean like i i feel like when people see them online i'm like you don't understand these are the sweetest most sensitive beautiful cuties in the world yeah the the video of you and britney and the this that i took and i posted i did not expect i did not know this lore about because people were commenting how could she take him back yeah after and it's because of the grinder bit oh yeah and those are my favorite bits grinder bits yeah they're yeah so that's how i heal where are they commenting this on instagram on the tiktok on tiktok and you're not you're not a big social like social media guy i'm not on tiktok no i'm not on tiktok even though i did tag you it's available you tagged me on tiktok i did i did and the sound of your flip-flops do you remember this video well i remember because you pushed on instagram oh that one yeah i am on there and the sound of my flips flopping no no it was it's like when i die that's going to be like one of the memories that flashes back is the sound of your flip-flops and britney posing her life away and you're doing like what they do in bali with the guy with like the yeah it's it was everything to me i'm trying to get the angles and then britney ungrateful fucking saying on camera none of these are going to be usable why don't you fucking like why don't you fucking be positive and let me like do my fucking work and like let me do my art because i was getting good shit there's one photo where you made her look like she was the size of a mouse hello so by the way i didn't say all of them would be good i run a volume game when i'm taking pictures of people it's just that when she looks over and you're like look and that's the one you show like the mood of the photo shoot the the set the set vibe went down but you were able to bring it back up look there's some people when you ask them to take a photo of you they're going to spend three minutes getting one perfect shot of you and you get one option that's not real though for me you're gonna get 300 bad images but seven seven pictures that you can't live without and the memories and the memories and that's how i like to work and i like to see i like you know when someone makes something look effortless i'm not interested in that i want it to look effortful i want you to know that i tried i want you to know how hard i worked yes like truly and i'm fucking no no no you were in that bitch i'm sniping burst mode sniping yeah i'm sniping i'm fucking picking off different angles like that that was another bit i had at the wedding was pretending that i was the head of security that people actually liked that one i didn't get in any trouble for that one well at least they didn't say anything to me that no i was walking around the wedding grounds going uh sniper's nest sniper's nest minefield minefield landmine my guys my guys have been here since sunrise people people kind of liked that people i was talking to one of these i didn't have one but i would do this i would have loved that yeah i was doing that was mostly for the family that's mostly for the family yeah just to let them know yeah i'll go up to like an aunt or an uncle and be like one second no we're good i feel like you also adopt that when you're having a conversation with somebody across the table and you get bored what do you mean that's when you that's when you start develop the bit like i can tell what kind of child you were do you think i'd start developing bits when i'm bored at the table yeah yeah yeah or do you like i want us to be a more in in line with something i'm interested in and it's a bit yeah that's fair yeah that's fair that's really fair that felt like a read you're like yeah yeah anyway pretend we're security like i think that's like we're yeah well sometimes somebody needs to do something yeah sometimes you're in a conversation you go somebody's got to do something you're action-based you're an action-based guest i'm a results-oriented team player who thrives in a fast-paced environment oh my god that's so good i do have a linkedin if you have it if you don't have a tiktok but you have a linkedin that's crazy i don't have a linkedin anymore but when i tell you i had a linkedin in college that i ran like the goddamn navy my linkedin in college was like there there there were like 45 year old professionals and i had i took that shit serious because you're like wait you're saying this is the key to success oh i my linkedin i'm messaging i'm messaging fucking like ceos of companies on there when i'm 19 being like i really love what you guys do i'd love an opportunity and getting messages back being like this is such an incredible effort uh we have nothing for you but keep it up young man oh yeah truly that my linkedin photo was me holding a glass of wine and a bottle in the other that was my linkedin photo guess what didn't get a lot of hits did not get a lot of connections i think it's still up what did you do before you did this what didn't i fucking do what did you what did you do mostly i was a i was an assistant to a wardrobe stylist in miami the majority of my adult life like that was my first like what do you mean taxes job like that and i they paid me a hundred bucks a week and that was perfect for gas and marlboro's and that was perfect for me of course that was oh the basics no estefani tv host at dreams media no hits on this no well oh there it is you're so beautiful i love her let me read this bio extensive experience in fashion pr styling sales social media planning strategy and a proven track record of success in business development and competitive sales environment and that's pre-ai i did that solo dolo that's you that's a solo fucking dolo sweating crying hoping for a job that's one 499 connections though suck my scroll down creative drive producer and copywriter go down more chance okay freelance stylist yep okay show all that's about it no go down more go down more stylist assistant this is the one you're talking about that's it wow i was also um disinfecting gym mats at equinox oh my god i was also a personal trainer for a while i believe all of those um i one time i was working at in style i was like their social girl and they're like oh my god we had dinner with the with this pr person at nbc she says that you trained her and i said oh lauren and they're like oh we don't remember her name i'm like no i had one client it's lauren i had a single client i remember her no it's lauren that's so funny and she's a producer at nbc no she does their pr pr she does their pr and as did i i also i mean i worked for kelly katron that was like my first job here do you know who that is kelly what you're so fucking free katron who is that she was a she's a publicist here she how do you explain to someone who kelly katron is she's like do they know do you guys know who kelly katron is well of course oh okay you had him but of course chance please chances chances tapped chances chance knows everybody he has 499 connections and i feel like kelly katron is somebody who like i watch on mtv a lot and i was like oh i'm gonna go i want to work in fashion pr and then i and then i emailed her like i emailed her and her assistant and they were like okay yeah come in and i was like sick and then i moved to new york for that internship was it paid no no but they did at one point ask me i mean i this was like 14 years ago what are they gonna do um like right um they were like can we pay you in like in trade and i was like what does that mean in denim and i was like i cannot throw jeans at my landlord and i was kind of denim no not good and i was making i was working like three jobs at that time in my life i was doing like assisting assisting for styling at that point it's still in new york horribly i was doing like personal styling and i was working at a at a boutique in off union square and i was working for kelly katron and i was living in connecticut with my aunt when i first moved here and i think that when they said oh the jeans i like something broke in me like i was like this is like there's this is the end no and then that same day that i was like oh my god they're not gonna pay me i went to this dunkin donuts across the street it's in soho like on broadway and grand and it's the tiniest dunkin donuts it's the size if you've ever been to like a dive bar bathroom stall that is the size of dunkin donuts i don't know how they pass any kind of like inspection but whatever alas i digress so then there's this uh asian couple who is obviously like they're in their i love new york shirts they're obviously tourists and they asked me like can we take a picture with you and it's just the three of us in this tiny dunkin donuts and the cashier i can see her paying attention but she's like looking down and i'm like what's going on and she's like i don't know oh you want to take a picture with me and they're like yeah we'd love to take a picture with you and i'm like why do you want to take a picture with me and they said angelina jolie and the cashier goes she's not angelina jolie and i said i was gonna fucking tell them no no don't yell that like that like it's insane okay yeah hello and then they insisted like i was like angelina jolie being like no don't i'm like no i'm not angelina jolie and they're like please so i'm like on someone's fridge somewhere i absolutely love that for sure yeah i absolutely love that yeah and that was like one of the top top like 25 worst days of my life jesus well i'm 36 so you know what and that's beautiful that's beautiful it's beautiful to be 36 and for that honestly top 25 worst days of a 36 year old life that's not a bad it's not a bad that's not a bad record that's a really beautiful record in my opinion the 20 of them have happened in the last 10 years but that's fine can you think of one another bad day yeah like in the top 25 i don't know if i could think of a top 25 bad day for me um one time i was dating this person for like two years and i like i was like oh where is this going where is this going where is this going because i'm like i was like 24 so i'm like i have like what like two more years to be hot because when you're 24 everything is like definitive and um he's like he was like i don't know i don't know i don't know and i'm like well do you think i'm like the person for you and i remember specifically this is a person i pretended to like dave matthews band for for two years if i even hear the strings of halloween all my hair will fall off my body like i can't even imagine i love dave matthews and then and so i've been shout out to camden new jersey i've been many times to go see fucking dave matthews band and and philly so anyway we're in the car and we're listening to like crash into you great song and we're in his mother's lexus because he what was broke and we and he's like well i don't know teffy gun to my head i wouldn't say oh yeah teffy's the girl for me and then he's like i love this part and raise the volume and i was like and then he could not believe that i dumped him that day and he was like why would why would we break up i can give you 99 of everything that you want and i was like what's the one percent he's like being in love with you so saying gun to my head i wouldn't say you're the girl for me and then turning up dave matthews band is crazy suddenly we're in like 24 also there's not a gun to your head we've just been together for two years yeah i'm not this like my relationship is equal to the wire yeah no absolutely that's crazy yeah so he got on his hands and knees he's like please don't leave you're my best friend in the world and i was like this is getting it's going from worser to worser so yeah you're my best friend in the world and i was like this is getting it's going from worser to worser damn that is a bad one what do you think is the best day of your life um the best day of my life we're top 25 okay easy march march 12 2004 um it's the verizon ladies tour alicia keys missy elliot beyonce wow take that in absorb hold on sit with that with that thank you guys can you even imagine my 13 year old fucking brain i could not so then i go with my two best friends at the time but one of them was kind of like the blonde girl in pen 15 not not the main character but the one that gets in the way you know i'm talking about do you watch pen 15 because you're not you were never a middle school girl and i understand i've only i've seen bits and pieces of pen 15 pieces but it's not in a kunkle okay no no it's another girl but she's like it's basically like me and my best friend we were doing perfectly fine and then this bitch comes along and she just caused a lot of ripples but anyway so then we show up to the fort lauderdale arena and we are floor seats sixth row and my seat my ticket my ticket says i am more towards the center okay and then this other bitch i really hope she's not a fan of yours she's gonna know exactly she's a white blonde woman it's not looking good never no no in miami no oh oh no you're saying the girl from the show is a blonde woman gotcha exactly exactly and um i'm like me no never please and i remember she was like oh can we switch i want to be more towards the center and i looked at her and i said i will fucking kill you i will fucking kill you absolutely not this is everything to me beyonce giselle knolls carter means everything to me yeah so then my friend my best friend is like girls come on like just do it who cares whatever and i was always the people pleaser kind of girl so i go to the aisle and i'm like i'm about to lose my fucking mind missy elliott said it was fucking incredible everything goes dark all of a sudden i hear and i'm like what's going on and i'm like no this can't be this can't be beyonce coming from the back i'm in the aisle she's coming down the aisle lifted by men i reach out like this with this hand i reach out like this i go i love you she goes baby boy is down my mind i love you too that was the best day of my life and i looked at almost said her name i looked at and i said bitch oh my god you are such a loser so yeah that was amazing that's fucking crazy yeah that was amazing she said i love you too to me wow to me wow i remember i called my mom on my metro pcs after the show and i said you won't believe who said i love you she was like who and i said beyonce and she screamed that's how important it was wow the fact that if i had stayed in the center it would have been her this is unfortunately a lesson in continuing to be a people pleaser is that not god that's god and jesus is absolute love you get rewarded for being a people pleaser everyone listening to this needs to remember that sometimes never stop being a people pleaser always go out of your way to put others needs ahead of yours 100 you will be rewarded never ever stop never have boundaries never put up boundaries never respect yourself always put others first exactly you will be rewarded with the aisle seat the aisle seat for six row to beyonce dare to people please live your life also wanting to be further into the row is like crazy to me that you could be more like i could i know i know the aisle i mean i wanted it it was like an eye line with like and i knew there was a piano on stage so i knew that's where alicia was gonna sing you don't know my name right god it was fucking fantastic that's an incredible experience i understand why that's one of your top 25 best days thank you so much that's completely beautiful i think like top 10 top 10 that one wow no i was like that was like something where those movie moments i'm like that that never happens to me and then that happened yeah well i think a lot of movie moments happened to you though since then no no not your life's been beautiful and charmed no no no no i mean not it like i've only met beyonce once how beautiful and charmed can this life be i think that's a beautiful and charming life to start when you're 13 to have that and then to go on now now you're getting drunk on the train and arguing about god oh my god you're so right you have a beautiful life this country you're right no you're right you're right you're right oh my god oh to be 13 years old watching beyonce do crazy in love she's 21 years old when that came out that's nuts that's really nuts are you gonna cry it's seeming like no i've already cried about beyonce all the time i love her so much i love the relationship that you seem to have with her i hope she says the same it's really beautiful no she watches there are like it's like it's like beyonce and middle age could you imagine beyonce watching so true podcast absolutely no i got full so funny she's she's like she's like she's like jay can you handle the kids like he'll put on a new she calls him sean i feel like she calls him sean she's like z she calls him z she calls him z sorry teffy's on so true can you just like handle that no wait they're talking about me on so true pod oh my god wait oh my god the verizon ladies tour oh my god you know she goes she goes she goes z she goes z you remember that girl i i'm always talking to you about from the fort lauderdale show she's talking about me on kill this podcast right now that's beyonce right now beyonce it was me in the hollister i was in that hollister i know you were i know you were giving him hell in the hollister oh yeah i couldn't wear any of that stuff they didn't have clothes big enough for me i was so pissed all the all the little cute swishy hair boys would show up to the skating rink and they would steal the girls i had crushes on and they would wear cool like american eagle they were abercrombie t-shirts and there were never any in my size arapostale went up to my size so i could wear arapostale but i would skate alone while they skated with my girls hands behind your back oh i i would skate i would do truly i've talked about this so much probably on here i definitely have talked to michelle about it a lot in like little moments when we're on like driving but i truly the the number of like usher and shaggy songs that i skated alone to during couple skates when the cute swoopy hair boys would steal my girls you're my angel you're my darling angel me skating alone 12 years old 12 years old requested it for the couple skate i'm not kidding there was a night i remember i would go to the skating rink pop color every single night oh my god big time i would go to the skating rink every single weekend and there was a night i would request a lot of songs and the guy was always like it's not really a requesting situation and there was a night where i was like hey from the couple skate can you play angel by shaggy and he was like do you have someone to skate with and i was like i'm still looking like i remember him saying do you have someone to skate with and i was like that in my heart i'm like that is so crazy mean because you see me skate alone every week and you know that i don't and first of all i'm fat and gay i can picture like your collar picking up the bronzer like the edges of the collar picking up the bronzer as you're like talking you know what i mean i truly got like i would be so devastated and i really thought it's because i was in love with these girls low-key i wanted to be skating with the boy too yeah of course at the time i was like how why do all the girls want him and it's like well the same reason that you do buddy well hold on was this man the dj and like was it a man or was it like a kid it was like a teenager that is foul yeah teenage do you have someone to skate with i beg your pardon no you know that i'm about to dance alone to let it burn by usher okay well can you okay you're the teenage you're the teenage dj i'm you okay ask me do you have somebody to skate with hey can you um play for the couple skate can you play angel by shaggy do you have someone to skate with blood blood coming from the lip oh sorry yeah sorry that's what i would have done yeah well anyway take your fat gay ass back out to the ring i'll let you know when i play it that's how it was oh god me skating along during the couple skate formative formative what year was this this would have been this particular moment i was 12 so this would have been like 2007 oh he called you a slur yeah yeah he called me a fine ass girl going out tonight yeah hello hello hello and all the fine ass girls were going out that night with other boys and i was watching skating alone watching that should be me by justin bieber that fucked me up you see the guys that have like the that should be me holding your hand that shouldn't be me me me watching so sad me watching a girl with a boy not knowing who i want to be or what i wanted to be with no and i picture like the person next to you who has like the what's it called when you can't skate and you you have somebody to help you a cane like a stroller skating with a cane you skating with a cane yeah you know those pieces in your closet you find yourself wearing on repeat the sweater that goes with everything the perfect pair of pants or the tee you somehow always reach for first those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy and that's what quince does best quince focuses on high quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials like 100 percent mongolian cashmere organic cotton and merino wool these styles are timeless versatile and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for day after day everything at quince is priced 50 to 80 percent less than similar brands they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen so you're paying for high quality not brand markup and they don't just do clothing think again quince offers high quality bedding and bath essentials as well as other products to use around the house or while traveling we picked up some blankets from quince for the studio and they're so soft and comfortable find your next fall favorites at quince download the quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in canada and the uk too and when quince asks where you heard about them let them know it was so true it's the best way to support the show fall is the season of doing the most coffee runs weekend plans travel days errands bus club another bus club and somehow still trying to make it everywhere on time and with sketchers doing all those things has never been easier we recently talked about sketchers in a not so glowing light on the show in an episode with a guest who we won't have back and we will not name but wouldn't you know it sketchers heard the call and they came knocking on our doorstep you gotta you gotta try their hands-free slip-ins you just slip in and go no bending down no messing with the laces they've got a heel pillow built into the back that keeps your foot locked in so it's still snug just way less effort a lot of their styles also have air cooled memory foam so you get pressure relief instant comfort breathability great for long days or just running around all fall doing too much which let's be honest we all are and a bunch of their styles are machine washable so fall weather coffee spills whatever you're fine head to sketchers.com to check out all their fall styles sketchers hands-free slip-ins just slip in and go folks everybody loves finding a deal do you know anyone in your life who doesn't get out up out of their chair in excitement when they see a hot new deal on an awesome product come their way didn't think so we here at so true sure do know a good deal when we see one we say it all the time a penny saved is a penny earned so that's why we're here today to tell you about the folks at whatnot whatnot is the number one live 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your routine from mundane to extraordinary all while delivering the same expert benefits elevate your wellness with mochi bites today sold exclusively at target these statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration this product is not intended to diagnose treat cure or prevent any disease that's my okay i'm also on the tiktok side i know that you're not but i'm on like the atlanta skating rink tiktok side they those people have a fluidity to them comparable to like ballerinas it is gorgeous i really get i feel a lot of i feel a lot of i don't know what i would call it but i have big feelings when i see a white boy with rhythm involved paul wall do you know yeah yes exactly i go wow to be a white boy with rhythm in the skating crew have you seen how fine him and his wife are paul wall he's been with his wife for 20 million years chance google paul wall wife picture thank you thank you so much chance google paul wall wife picture first of your bloodline oh And that's Paul Wall now. How beautiful are they? Yeah, they look so not kind. They look so kind. You're kidding. They look so incredibly kind. I love the beautiful gowns. They look like a very sweet couple. I'd love to hang out with them. I love them. They have an insane sexual chemistry. The tension? They look like incredibly nice people. They look so sweet. And I'd love to hang out with them. I'd love to have dinner at their house. They make love. Oh, yeah, for sure. But they make love. They're a beautiful couple. They're a really sweet couple. That picture there, click on that. Why don't we do this? You have a girlfriend and I'm a gay man. This is like something we're going to have to process in our friendship at some point eventually. Rules, rules, rules, rules. Me, you, and your girlfriend. Oh, my God. Let's go get a photo shoot. No, you're going to cuck me. This always happens to me. Do you have the song that Brittany and I made for Shannon? Oh, yeah, of course I do. Do you have that somewhere? Can you play it into your microphone? Yeah. Yeah, of course. At Drew's wedding, Brittany and I sent Shannon a. Caleb goes, let's send a video to Shannon. I go, okay. We sent a video to Shannon and we made a song that's really sweet. Guys. Your phone case. Yeah. I love sports and my friend got me this yesterday. That's really cute. Thank you so much. Okay, let's go. Let's find it. One second, please. Play my song. Oh, I'm going to play it. Girl, you're my angel. You're my darling angel. Girl, you're my friend when I'm in need. Okay, here we're at Hawaii. Okay, it's the rehearsal dinner, I believe. Who wants to do the rap part? Who wants to do. Yeah, that's right. Okay. I take Shaggy very seriously. Oh, here it is. Okay, it starts off with like a selfie video. And then. Hold on. No, here. Hold on, please. Shannon? Shannon, give this to me. No, this isn't it. Shannon. Shannon, I love you and I miss you. And we're. Prepare the song. We're thinking. Okay. Ready? Shannon. Shannon, baby. Shannon. Shannon, baby. Shannon. Yeah, that's good. It was Brittany. It was Brittany. It was Brittany. That's really good. That's really good. That was so good. That's a beautiful song. Improvised. That was a real smile. It caught myself actually like really smiling. Entirely off the top of our head. That's the kind of video someone watches when their spouse dies. In a movie. You know what I mean? It's like grainy. They're like watching it and they're like, fuck. That's like when Brittany passes away before me, she totally will. You think so? When Brittany passes away before me, she absolutely will. That's the kind of video I'll watch and like cry, you know? I feel like I'm the kind of person that I'm going to like survive an apocalyptic situation and then I die from like a weird bug bite. It's like my. Walk me through that. You think you would survive the apocalypse but die from a bug bite? Or like the day after tomorrow, like where like the public library is like, you know, like tidal wave and all. Like I would survive like. What else is like an apocalyptic thing? Tidal wave? Zombies. That's about it, right? Yeah, I think that's it. Aliens. Aliens are a big one. I don't worry about them though. You don't worry about them? No, I think if they're real, they're way uninterested in what we're doing. It's like watching like ants probably. Or like fish. We're like fish. They're like, you think they're sentient? Like that. I heard something really fucked up recently about AI. Go on. They're like when AI reaches super intelligence, they won't feel malevolent towards humans at all. They'll just view. It'll view us like ants. Or like dogs. Like the way that we view ants. Like puppies. No, because dogs are like nurtured by humans. Ants are like they don't. They wouldn't care if they stepped on like a hundred of us just to walk over there. Okay. Well. No, feel free to sit with it. Shut up. Really? Shut up, Avid. Scary, huh? No, that's crazy. I do believe that. And I don't use AI because I feel like. I want to continue critical thinking. And I know that once I figure out how easy it is to use AI, like I know that I'll just be like. I'll get lazy. I know it's like I'm a human being. Oh, it's a crack, yeah. Yeah, but I find it so weird when people say like. I always say please and thank you to ChatGPT or Claude just in case. I'm like, just in case what? And they're like. And I'm like, they rise? Do you guys say please and thank you? They don't use it. Okay. You're like, not. It's in the contract. If I found out that anyone in this room used AI, especially on their work, I'm. it would be a very serious problem it would be a very serious problem for me but to say please and thank you to these machines or like to ask one of my friends was like I had to delete it because I started asking it like what would your name be and it has answers and it also asked what do you think if you look at the data he asked a certain prompt I forget what it was but what's the biggest issue with humanity today and it said that human beings do not trust each other they trust me more how does everybody feel topic new topic new topic how's everybody feeling new topic new topic new topic remember Beyonce oh I love her remember the skating rink oh my god what's your favorite food oh my favorite food of all time I'm so easy okay yeah my favorite food of all time I do think it's like it's like the most general and specific I think it is soup wow I'm a big soup girl be honest with me and know that this is a safe space I am going to judge you and have an adverse reaction if you say something I don't like but it is safe other than that do you fuck with cold soups like a gazpacho yeah no good okay yeah okay cool I don't like cold soups I was like I was giving you gazpacho just in case you liked it I don't like cold soups it pisses me off I just feel like this is supposed to be cozy and warm this is supposed to be a sweater of the gut it's so soup season right now it's crazy dude when Panera came out with that fucking bread bowl I don't like cold soups oh were you involved in that oh I wish I wish I could claim that but no were you involved in that were you getting involved were you having some of those $13 for a clam chowder and a good time were you having the Panera clam chowder alone I'd go alone you were eating the Panera clam chowder I worked I was a receptionist above I was a receptionist at a hair salon for like four days for however long it took for them to figure out I didn't know what I was doing and it was above a Subway and a Panera you were getting on those those fumes I was getting in there you were having the clam chowder bread bowl from Panera I was chowing I was chowing you were having a six inch from Subway foot long yeah for real whoa really that's a lot of sandwich I know you can't tell from looking at me that's a lot of sandwich for a girl like you yeah a foot long and a clam chowder bread bowl that's crazy what's your Subway order what were you getting from there be honest what were you getting from the Subway I was getting the turkey delight what's that what's on there a lot of turkey and a lot of love sounds good sounds good with the Italian vinaigrette nice mhm and a lot of honey mustard I was eating a crazy Subway sandwich when I was on Subway I couldn't tell like you get like when you have too many options I feel like you lose it me Caleb you Caleb me Caleb I feel like when you get options you're like okay okay well like one of the maddest I've ever been I was at the I think about this all the time I was at the Subway I was in the line for Subway at my college like in the student union the Plaster student union at Missouri State University go Bears Chance thank you Chance and I went to college together oh amazing I was standing and the guy in front of me I was so fucking hungry and what I was about to order was foot long garlic parm bread or like parmesan cheese bread teriyaki chicken add bacon extra cheese black olives onions and then some sweet teriyaki sauce mhm ooh my mouth is watering I don't eat that anymore but I used to go fucking crazy on some stuff like that multiple times a day baddest I've ever been I'm getting ready to order that mhm guy in front of me he goes can I get a three inch veggie mhm and I literally out loud said if you're not hungry you don't have to do this when I no I didn't even know they did three inch sandwiches let alone three inch veggie don't come here go home bitch that made me so fucking mad if you don't go home and have a carrot no and no dressing by the way these people are crazy these people are fucking crazy which actually this is I'm mad I'm mad right now when I was reading the email about coming on the podcast and they were like oh you have to come up with like a what's a hill that you'll die on it was like it reminds me of that I was like this is a hill that I will die on forever and ever Taffy what's so true to you? oh is that oh this is a podcast tell me it it's about like I just feel like if you to register for a gun to register to vote and to have access to internet I feel like you should have a conversation with me I should be the one giving out licenses a lot of you bitches cannot be trusted legit yes same with before your subway order I want to hear it ideally anything anyone ever does would go through me first and I was talking to Shannon about it and she was like internationally I'm like no we have to take care of home first so United States first and then maybe but I need everyone because sometimes I go online and I'm like this person is registered to vote we're going to remove this back on our own eye this person can freely just enter a subway and order a three inch veggie not on my fucking watch so that's my hill it's not that I think I am God I think if I were given the chance to be God I do believe I would kill that if we come from God are we not divine ourselves? say that again I think I like that say that again it's a that's what they teach you in Bible study that like we if we come if God made all of us then we are inherently divine I think you are divine and I see God in you and I think that if you and I could be in some sort of committee where no one was allowed to make decisions before talking with us can you imagine legit I think the world would be beautiful like can you imagine being like I want to paste this to Facebook and you're like you come to my office with this you can't do that you know I have to I have to suspend you for a month no internet I'd say six inch veggie minimum I'd do six inch veggie I wouldn't have said a word about that three inch it's one or the other three inch veggie you could do if you said can I get a three inch Italian meatball I'd say okay this person's going through something yeah it's a little amuse-bouche a little taste can you tell me how you ordered after you heard what he what he ordered angrily angrily I ordered my sandwich I ordered my I said okay yeah um let me get a foot long parmesan cheese teriyaki chicken add bacon double cheese black olives onions sweet teriyaki sauce and put some of that chipotle sauce on there thank you I'm mad I know you're angry you're fuming and honestly for them to take that moment from you some of like the greatest moments of my life is ordering a custom order for myself do you ever think about like sometimes I think about the what I the four years of college what I did from 18 to 22 the meals that I ate the meals that I ate I'm talking breakfast at Panda Express I'm talking lunch at Subway I'm talking dinner at Chick-fil-A I'm talking Starbucks two or three times in between there I mean you're talking about a guy who really didn't have an okay feeling in his stomach for four entire calendar years I went to school in Miami and I'm from Miami so I lived at home and I was partying in Miami so I think I only had Marlboro Lights chocolate chip cookies and Diet Cokes for like two years so I was at campus depressed studying politics not really partying I'm more fun now than I was then and I'm not particularly fun now does that make sense? is that true? don't answer that don't Chance I'm so sorry I love you don't answer that is it true that I'm more fun now? sure that you weren't fun in college? no you were fun in college you weren't not really Chance you can answer that I'm sorry I was kidding you were a ton of fun yeah I think I feel like you were a big old giggle you jumped into a swimming pool wearing a suit that was one particularly fun day that I had okay I had did you go roller rollerblading in college? did you ever go solo? no I had lost that part of me by then I haven't been skating in a while but it's been replaced by biking city biking no way you're city biking? every time I can really? you like cycling? oh I love city biking it's an e-bike so it's not even that big of a deal I biked home from the bar last night Michelle was like are you sure you don't want to take a car? and I said don't ever talk to me like that again don't don't ever ever talk to me like that again don't take that tone with me Michelle I'm begging you no um that's crazy I've never I've city biked I used to city bike a lot but then I almost get hit by a car almost every single time me too me too but they're not gonna get me they're not gonna get you? no I always think of um Spider-Man Tobey Maguire when he gets the messenger clips him you know what I'm talking about? I don't remember this I'm so sorry I've seen the movie who's your Spider-Man for you? I don't have one you don't have a Spider-Man? I'll go who's your Batman? um Heath Ledger of course okay what um Danny DeVito um the penguin um well I'll do um what's your favorite movie of all time? my favorite movie of all time yeah and it doesn't have to be like artsy or whatever I hate when people are like Clockwork Orange you don't fucking like Clockwork Orange did you think the Heath Ledger joke was funny or not? I thought it was great I thought it was funny I had to think about it thank you that is his movie it is his movie and it'll always be his movie my favorite movie of all time cause he died my favorite movie of all time I don't know that's so hard probably maybe legitimately maybe Inglourious Bastards that man makes a fucking movie oh my god I love his movies his movies are great he also dated Trisha Paytas for a while I beg your fucking pardon look it up don't look it up what? Quentin Tarantino and Trisha Paytas dated for a while mhm the inner guys there is so much knowledge that anything could have replaced that with and I chose that I feel the same feeling in my stomach right now that I did when we got to the AI part I feel the same feeling right now that I did when we got to the AI part I feel the same feeling in my stomach right now that I did when we got to the AI part of the episode no life is life gets really scary life gets really crazy life gets and it comes at you fast and the years start coming and they to my knowledge don't stop coming and I feel fucking scared right now I feel terrified and sick to my stomach I didn't know that Quentin Tarantino dated Trisha Paytas yeah yeah there's a picture of them quite sexy I don't really know anything about Trisha Paytas me neither I just know that that puts shock into me I know that she I know that she is a YouTube creator blogger - Yeah. - Person. - Yeah. She dresses up as, like, Gerard Way sometimes. Who? The Black Parade, My Chemical Romance. Oh, huge. She does, like, LARPing. Is it LARPing? I want to get into LARPing. I feel like I'd be so good at it. I feel like when you're younger, like, my sister loves cosplay. And so, I don't know if my brother does, but his girlfriend does. And they're so good at it. And I used to, like, make fun of my little sister because I'm an older sister. And I used to, like, pick on her. She's so happy. She's having the best time. What is she cosplaying as? Like, she'll do, like, Guardians of the Galaxy. She'll do different stuff. She'll do, like, even, like, the girl in Encanto that's the eldest sister, even though that's my whole gig. But, like, she's a butch lesbian, so she's super strong. She does all these, like, fun costumes with her friends. They have the best time. That sounds amazing. And so, I'm like, why? Like, for prom, her and her friends went camping after prom. I got cheated on. You got cheated on after prom? Oh, yeah. Both proms. What? Same person? Yeah. So, honestly, legendary of him to run it back. Legendary of him to be like, oh, I got away with it last time. He's consistent, yeah. I love a consistent man. Yeah, yeah. That's beautiful. Are you a consistent man? Absolutely. Yeah. Not really. I don't think so. I will say, like, people doubt. You can really pull. Like, you turn it on. People watch you. They do. Like, when you talk to them, you're so smooth with it. And I start, like, I'll talk to somebody. I'm like, and then you are so, like, butter. Teffy. You hold eye contact, too, with people. You make people feel so special. And I'm like, that's, they do think that you like them. Like, you'll walk away from a conversation with a group of guys. I'm like, every single one of those guys think that you like them. I might. Yeah. I might. Who knows, Teffy? Do you ever want to settle down? Oh, my gosh. I don't know, dude. Like, look at my bro. Boom. I don't know, dude. You don't know? Well, when you know, you know. Yes, of course, I do in theory, but there's so many things. Yeah. There's so many things. Yeah. But, yeah, I don't find, like, settling down is like, okay, so I know that people do that. They do. I, of course, have a desire to be in love. I love being in love. I have a lot of love to give. At the same time, I hate, I resent being, like, accountable to somebody. What do you mean I need to tell you where I'm at? You sound like my mom. My mom's been divorced. For 30 years. It's like my mom's. But I haven't gotten married. You haven't gotten married. Yeah, I think that settling down and commitment is for women. Like, it's something that we do. And then, like, I feel like. Like, not within, like. That's for girls. That's for girls to do. It's like that tweets, like, every seagull as a boy or girl would never do that. That's how I feel about, like, every committed person is committed because they're dating a woman. Because they're a woman. Or they're with a woman. They're with a woman. Yeah. Are you and Shannon in-game, be honest? Is that going to last forever? It's off the record, but obviously. Well, you say that, but I don't know. What if you guys had a different view of it? I don't know. I don't think so. I feel like every gay person, every gay woman has, like, a similar. Actually, I don't know. I just feel like. I feel like you get to a certain age. I sound 60. But when I was younger, I was like, oh, I don't know if I want kids. I don't know if I want to get married. There's this whole, especially, like, living in New York. New York is, like, it's the biggest norm in America. It's so. It's so much fun. Yeah. But then you get to a certain age where you're like, no, I do want. Like, I do want to have kids. I do want to get married. And then you meet somebody and you're like, this is the. This could. It could not get better. It's like. But then you can't imagine feeling that way until you meet somebody like that. Yeah. Like, of course, it's, like, crazy to you having, like, met somebody like that. I've met a lot of great people. I think the issue. You are a slut. Four. Look, I don't want. Do you think I want to be like this? That is the sluttiest thing I've ever heard in my life. I don't. No, I want to be somebody's husband for sure, I think, probably. But would you live in different houses? See, we don't have to do, you and me. I think that's such a cop out. We get married to a man together. But I feel like we, like, there's. You can do things in a more modern way. I just. I feel like when I say that to people, they think I mean, like, anti-vax. No. That doesn't inspire. I have so many gay guy friends that are doing it in a modern way. And I'm like, you're just. They're open. Yeah. And I've been open. And guess what? I don't think it was a good idea. Because you hurt their feelings? Because no, I'm fucking other people all the time and thinking about it all the time and doing it all the time. And I want to. I need to lock in. I need to lock in. I think I need to be traditional for once. I, if God is real and God is love, I need to come back as a tall, funny gay guy. There is nothing. That is the pinnacle of life. That is like top living. I want to thank you for saying that. Like, there is nothing. If Vince Vaughn was gay, he'd be torn limb from limb, like in World War Z. Yeah. Like. That's true. That's really true. But he's straight and conservative. It's like the biggest heartbreak of my life. Tessa, you're a beautiful, funny woman. Do you not think that's like on par? The pay gap and like. The pay gap. Is that happening to you? Are you experiencing the pay gap? I need to come back as a tall gay guy. Oh my God. In fact, many of us are here in this room. In this room. These people get paid too much for what they do. No, I'm just kidding. Well, somebody has to. She probably runs behind you on the city bike making sure you get home okay. Michelle, no. She won't city bike with me. No, she walks. She went city bike with me last night. What? Have you before city biked with him? How much can a girl city bike with her boss? And I'm sorry. Michelle doesn't think of me as her boss. No. She thinks of me as family. Michelle actually did yesterday. And when you're here. Michelle actually did yesterday start saying something that I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I won't repeat, but I go, hey, just remember this is a working relationship. And she goes, sometimes I forget. Sometimes I forget. And I said, that means the world to me. Well, my assistant friend, I'm like, did I have a meeting today? And she'll go, fuck. Girl, we can't both be forgetting. Shit. Oh, you did. Yeah, you did. That's so funny. I hate the pay gap. I fucking hate the pay gap. So being a woman, I would love to trade places with you for like a year. I don't know if I could handle it. I don't know if I can handle being you. Can I just say something, Ernest? And just like stop the jokes for a second. Yeah. I fucking hate sexism. I fucking hate. Stop. I hate what you go through as a beautiful woman. Thank you. I would do anything to make you equal to me as a man, a boy, or whatever, however you view me. As a friend. Hold on. Hold on. I hate sexism. I wish that you got paid the same as guys. I would give anything. If someone, if God came to me right now and said, I'm going to take your life and you're going to come with me. You're going to come with me to heaven now, but all women are going to be treated good. I would get my wings that day. I love that. My brother makes those videos and then in his caption, he goes, I'm six five, by the way. Yeah. Well, he's real as fuck. What's his deal? What's his deal? He's straight. He's six five. Yeah. And he's dating. He's dating the coolest girl I've ever met. And she's a tattoo artist. Like, what else do you want? That's cool as fuck. She's so fucking cool. Every time I see her, I get nervous. I'm like, I wish you had a gay brother. I have a gay sister. What does that mean to me? I know. It's so sad. Oh, great. Another fan. Oh, awesome. Another ticket holder. You see somebody make eye contact with you, go, I know. I know. Come on. Let's just do this. Get over here. I saw it. One time somebody came up to me and they said, are you Teffy? And I go, oh my God. Yeah. And I was like, I must've been doing this for like a year and I was so excited. And I was like, oh my God, do you want to take a picture together? Or something? And they said, no, I work with your mom. Okay. Top 25. No, I would never want a picture with you. No, absolutely not. No, I work with your mom. It is embarrassing when you get in a cadence, like you've been in a rhythm, like you've been maybe, like there'll be a day where you've been approached a couple of times and it's been this. So you just get in the rhythm of like, I sometimes will be in public and someone will say my name. I'll be like, Caleb. And I'll turn and like have like talking to a fan energy and it'll be a very close friend. It'll be true. And we both feel what I was doing. I'll be like, oh, sorry. I'm in a bit of a mode today. That's humiliating. Where do you get, where do you, where do you feel like me walking down? I feel like anywhere there's like Gen Z girls, it's like, I have to, I'm like, you know, like can't pick, can't pick my nose. Like West Village, East Village. Yeah. The villages. That's happening for you? Yeah. I feel like that's, where do you feel like the most people who follow you, like besides Cubbyhole, but. Cubbyhole, Gingers. Bush. Bush. The Woods. On a, on a Wednesday. On a Wednesday. Fuck, dude. Fuck, dude. Well, I don't know. You know, wherever, wherever there's, wherever there's little gay people at. Or straight guys. And you know, they also, like gay people also suffer a lot, like with the pay gap and work and stuff, you know. Gay people suffer? Yeah. Yeah, they do. Gay people suffer with a pay gap? Yeah. And injustices. If anything, maybe not gay men. Gay men are, gay men all have jobs where they make $375,000 a year. They do nothing. They're always on vacation. I would do, I would give you both thumbs if you could turn me into a gay, tall, funny man right now. I, I wouldn't be able to snap my fingers, but with the right surgeons and a couple of. Well, my thumbs are gone, so I can't either. I would do anything. I mean, if you want to be a boy, we could make that happen. You could be a gay man. And that's true. You got me there. And that would be my right. And I could do that. And I could do that. And it'd be, and it'd be okay. Yeah, I don't have any malice in my heart. Who do you think I have malice in my heart for? Be honest. What people's, what groups? What have you seen? Donald Trump. No. My God. I voted for the guy a couple times no I don't have malice for him I think he's a complicated figure sure I wish he'd ease off some of the some stuff he does I don't like but is Melania just an icon style icon fashion icon Melania I will say she's she's not not sickening from time to time and by the way when they were dragging her like brutalist crazy horror Christmas decorations I was like that was paranormal activity set I loved it you loved it I thought it was hilarious I do think there's something funny about it yeah she's like this Christmas is it okay to mimic Asian people I don't know I'm beginning to get too internet it's like Christmas this Christmas that children people come this is good thank you so much hello hello Eastern European is safe right there are some accents we can do they've been through so much sometimes I'm like is it fair for me to even attempt I think you can do as many accents as you want I think you can get away with a lot this Christmas everybody's obsessed with this Christmas I love that quote of hers it's a beautiful quote it's it's one of our best first lady quotes what's your second what's your second first lady quote that you just love oh gotta be Hillary Clinton okay saying oh gosh when she says when she says Pokemon go to the polls let's go Pokemon go to the polls gotta be one of my biggest ones right that's a good one or Eleanor Roosevelt when she said I came here to chew gum and eat pussy and I'm all out of gum yeah yeah that one that one was good that one was really good right guys mm-hmm yeah so those are good ones who's your favorite president US president Barack Obama Barack Obama yeah really you know you know Okay. Okay. I hate that you could see me doing like, but if she ran out of gum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, do the math. Do the math. That was Eleanor Roosevelt who said, I came here to chew gum and eat pussy and I'm all out of gum. Can you please make that the title of this episode? Teffy came here to chew gum and eat pussy and she's all out of gum. Maybe a touch too long. It's like a Panic at the Disco song. Teffy, exclamation point, came here to chew gum and eat pussy, parentheses, and she's all out of gum, close parentheses. Period. That's really hot. That's extremely hot. Straight men, I was saying this earlier a little bit, like straight men, I don't know what they see in me, but they come around. I know what they see in you. I love your shit, dude. I go, okay, sounds good. Yeah, you dap them up. Get out of here. Of course I do. Thank God. If you don't, they might. I'd shoot somebody. It's true. You are always thinking about people's safety and what's best for other people. And that's why you have this career because you are a people pleaser. At the end of the day, everything you do is for others. That's how everyone would describe me. Yeah, everybody in the world. I think everybody in my life would describe me as a people pleaser. You think it's easy being him? Everything he does is for everybody else. He never puts himself first. Keep going, keep going. Clip this. He never ever says, oh, this is what I want to do. He goes, no, this is what they need from me. This is what women need from me. This is what straight guys need from me. It's always you, never him. Keep going. We're going to clip this. That's all you had to say. And I just think it makes me really sad that no one's ever like, what about Caleb? And Caleb's always like, what about y'all? Ask not what Caleb can do for you, but what you can do for Caleb. That'd actually be an incredible Grindr bio. Wait, Gorge. That'd be an incredible Grindr bio. Is your Grindr just popping? You know, here's what I'll say. Popping with the G? Yeah. Popping? Is it popping? Is it popping? Yes. Here's what I'll say about my Grindr. Okay. Yes. It is popping. But is it popping with like 80% of people that I don't necessarily want to sleep with? Yes. Are there a lot of messages about my podcast? Yes. Am I ignoring most of them? Yes. Well, that's very weird to me when people hit on you and then they immediately act like a fan. There's a cool way to do it. And many people are not in touch with that. It's to say it after. Yeah. Or you can say it before, but like, let's move on. Be like, I'm a huge fan. But anyway, what are you doing? Like, just get, you can get out of the way if you feel like you need to. Huge fan also. I don't care. Pre-hookup is crazy. It's going to work for me. You're like, go on. Don't mime jerking off, Taffy. What? What are you talking about? That was really, really scary to me. I would never do that. That's really scary to me. That doesn't sound like me at all. That sounds like you, girl. But the Beyonce hand? No. You remembering the hand is so funny. When you end the story, you're like, with this hand. Well, I had both of them like this. Of course. And I knew that. Because she's almost touching. She's fucking brilliant. What's your favorite Beyonce song of all time? My favorite Beyonce song is Upgrade You. Is what? Upgrade You. Good one. And you? Party. That's a fucking good one. Yeah. Where she films a video and she says, oh, I look like I can cook. Is that what it is? I don't know the video. I'm so sorry. Okay. I'm not as big. I love Beyonce. I'm not as big of a fan as you. And I knew that a long time ago. What? What do you do at Gay Afters? Do you watch YouTube videos with your friends? What do I do at Gay Afters? Okay. Sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm not going to Gay Afters. You think I'm at Gay Afters? You're at Gay Afters. I'm at home. I want to be home cuddled up with Shannon watching fucking Real Housewives or something that she likes. She would fucking love that. But she says Real Housewives is only a daytime show, not for nighttime. It's like one of her biggest things. That's really funny. I've never seen an episode. I just assume that's something that she'd like to watch. Caleb, there's a world out there for you. I'm not interested. Waiting. I don't like that kind of thing. What kind of thing? Shouting at dinner. I don't like when women are cruel to each other. And I don't like shouting at dinner. You're ruining dinner over one of your interpersonal conflicts. Let's have a nice dinner. You would fucking love that shit. Real Housewives? The one-liners in that show are something. You couldn't write that. That's true. You would love it. Because it's unusable. Taffy, do you want to play a game with me? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I love it. I think we have about 15 minutes worth of stuff we can use, right? Yeah. I think we have almost a fourth of an episode so far. Kidding, of course. Taffy, I'm going to read you 15 statements. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said is true or false. If you get 10 or more correct, we're going to give you 50 US dollars. Okay. Let's do it. Okay. And I might introduce some new tricks in this one. Okay. Who knows? Perfect. AirPods came out in 2014. 2014. False. It is false. Do you know what year? 2019. 2016. Fuck. There are more subways than Starbucks in the US. False. True. Minneapolis is the capital of Minnesota. True. False. It's St. Paul. Jesus. The Empire Strikes Back won zero Academy Awards. False. False. Two. The Academy of Arts won one. Two. The Academy of Arts and Mines motto was Home of the Stars. Is that my high school? True? I only went there for like a year. I got kicked. I got in trouble. What's your answer? Home of the Stars. We did have stars on our uniform, so I'm going to say true. True. It's false. Home of the what? What's your final answer? Okay. My final answer is the Academy of Arts and Mines slogan. What is it? Home of the Stars. Home of the Stars. True. It is true. Okay. I really tried to get you on that one. The US Air Force was created after World War II. Say that again. True. True. Jersey Shore premiered in 2008. False. False. 2009. The square root of 280. 289 is 14. Oh, yeah. Just think about this. Could you say it one more time? I'm just busy. The square root of 289 is 14. And if she came here to chew gum and eat pussy, she ran out of gum. Toughie, answer. True. False. 17. Motorola is the oldest mobile phone company. True. True. Barry University's mascot is Bucky the Seagull. False. False. False is Bucky the Parrot. The North Pole has the second highest penguin population. Is the Galapagos the first? Sorry. False. False. There's no penguins there. Yellowstone has four spinoff series. Yellowstone? Four? True. True. Infinity is not a real number. The number does not exist. True. It's not a real number. Okay. That's for me, girls. Martin Luther King. Martin Luther King Jr. paid the bill for Julia Roberts' birth. Yeah. Martin Luther King did pay, yeah, for Julia Roberts' mom. Like that hospital bill, not for Julia Roberts' birthing of her daughter. Because he. Let me just go with true. It's true. Okay. There have been four seasons of Love Island France. Blink once. My job. Toughie. Toughie, answer. It's false. False. Only two. How'd she do? Twelve. Toughie! You can keep that and donate it to. One of the better. true false we've had in a minute. Really? Twelve's a high, high number. What's the lowest you've ever gotten? Oh, boy. Bad. I don't even remember. Five? Four? I think we had a three. Did we have a three? Yeah. It's not good. It's not good. That was good. Chance writes these things to hurt and upset people. But I don't want the $50. You're getting it. I wouldn't take money from you. You're getting it. Okay. You're getting it. I'm kidding. No one ever gets it. Okay. We're going to pay you. We're just not going to pay you that. Okay. Amazing. Amazing. Yeah. But don't worry. You get paid for being on here. Thank you so much. You're so welcome. It's a thrill to have you. I would have done it for free. I know you would have. Everyone will. Everyone will do podcasts for free. We've learned. But we pay. Teffy, is there anything that we didn't get to that you're just dying to talk about? Do you want to tell people where they can find you, etc.? I'm on the internet. And hello, Teffy. I hate doing that. It feels like I'm a whore. We are. We are. We are whores. You can find me at hello, Teffy, on all platforms. Teffy? No! Teffy! Teffy, thank you so much for doing it. We love you. Made to fit however you move. And fit to move wherever you like. Let yourself run. Peloton. You go to win. Reimagine how you do wellness with new first-of-their-kind Mochi Bites from the number one gummy supplement brand. Oli. 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