Tapping for the fear of missing out (FOMO) (Pod #680)

This is G. Montrestell, welcome to the Tapping Q&A podcast recorded live to tape from Williamsburg in Brooklyn. This is episode 680, original aired December 18th, 2025. I have one I hope this finds you well, whatever you are and whatever time of day you're getting a chance to listen to this. Thanks for spending a little time with me today. Over the course of the last number of weeks I've been doing lots of tapping with my clients and my students around all of the things that are going on in the holiday season. And one of the things that comes up a lot during the holiday season is FOMO, the fear of missing out. Because for whatever reason we've decided to pack all sorts of things into a month. Family events and entertainment and caroling and drinks and food and all of the goodness. And when we're in that circumstance it becomes really hard because we're pulled in multiple different directions. And this fear of missing out is not just some clever little internet meme. And it's not just something that happens during the holiday season. This is something that is ever present. Because there's a part of us that wants to make sure we're getting the most out of our experience. We're getting the most out of our time, out of our attention. And the problem is whatever we are doing there's always something else going on somewhere else. And one of the really hard things to I guess reckon with as a human is time is a zero-sum game. And what I mean by that is is that if I am doing one thing not only am I choosing to do that one thing I'm choosing to not do everything else in the universe. And the reality is is the thing that I'm doing no matter how good or how great it is. It's not perfect because the human experience is not perfect. And the thing that I am not doing the thing I'm not engaged with the thing that is over there that I've been invited to because I have not experienced it yet it is still perfect because I have the description of it. I have the hopes of it. I have the desire of it. But I don't actually have the thing. Therefore I don't have enough information. And so it's always easier, you know, the old silly cliche. The grass is always greener on the other side. Because I'm having an experience that is rich and full with good and bad. And the thing that I'm hoping for when I'm imagining going on vacation I'm not imagining, ooh I wonder what's going to happen if the air conditioning goes out in our hotel room. I'm imagining the warm sand beaches. I'm imagining the fruity drinks with little umbrellas in it. I'm imagining engaging with some local artisan as they share their life's work with me. And so the vision of the vacation is still perfect because we don't imagine the things that are going wrong. And so what that does is that creates an unfair comparison between what we're doing in the moment because it is rounded and fully dimensional with its imperfections and the things that are over there. So all that is to say if you're experiencing FOMO it's because you're human and that's a natural thing for us to do. And so once we recognize that is something that is part of our lived experience how do we then respond to it? So the way I do it is just in six simple steps. And so what we're going to do is we're going to work our way through it and we're going to tap our way through it. So if you'd like I would encourage you if it's safe for you to tap along with us like you're not in consuming this while you're driving a car or moving heavy machinery you're doing surgery. Who knows? But what I want you to do is if you can I want you to tap along with me and I want you to engage with something. So I want you to begin with and we'll work through the six steps and we'll tap our way through it. So the first thing we need to do in responding to this is we need to become familiar with what it is like for us to experience FOMO. Like how do you know you are experiencing that particular thing? For me the way I know it is it's almost like this out of body experience and the volume and the visuals of everything around me has been turned down and it's almost like I am living somewhere else. So I want you to think of a time in the past where you were afraid of missing out on something and I just want you to notice how do you experience that? How do you know? Because in the moment we might not realize it but in hindsight how do you know you're being drawn to something else? Because if we know how we experience it in the future it's going to be easier for you to identify that. So think a nice big deep breath. Remember a past experience of FOMO and just know how you feel that. Unsettled feet, distracted brain, disconnected or not listening to what's in front of you. Whatever it is note that. Now the second thing is we need to recognize the fact that this fear of missing out is protection because it wants us to do all of the good things. So it's really easy for us to beat ourselves up for going "Oh I'm experiencing this FOMO and I'm trying to be somewhere else." We want to acknowledge it's there so tap the side of the hand. My steep breath. I just move from tapping point to tapping point repeating after me. I recognize the fact. It is very natural and it is very human for me to experience the fear of missing out. Because there is a part of me that just wants to make sure I'm safe. There is a part of me that just wants to experience the things that are good for me. The things that are right for me. The things that are valuable for me. And I give myself permission. It's to be gentle with myself. And recognize I'm only experiencing this because my system wants me to be safe. It is a distraction. It does make it hard, but it is a part of me that just wants me to experience it all. My steep breath. So we notice how we when we experience FOMO, we tap on the fact that it's trying to be protective. Now the third thing we're going to do is we're going to tune into that fear and we're going to ask it what it's afraid is going to happen if we miss out. And so to smooth from point to point, I recognize the fact this fear exists in this moment because it is afraid. I am going to miss that super important thing. I'm going to miss that one thing it is going to make my life better. It is going to make my life perfect. There might be a lesson that I need to learn. There might be a learning that is essential for my transformation. And I am just afraid. This is the one and only chance for me to experience it. And so this fear is just trying to keep me safe and healthy. My steep breath. So we notice how we experience and we feel it. We tap in a general way. This is trying to keep me safe. Then we tap in a specific way on what's the thing that we're afraid we're going to miss out on. I give you some examples. If in the moment you don't know, just tune into the fear however it shows up. Typically there's this feeling with me. Just ask the sensation, what is it afraid of? The fourth thing we're going to do is we then tap on the fact that this is not the one and only chance. Even though it feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity to be up at the head and move from point to point, I recognize the fact. There is a part of me that is afraid. that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that will never come again. This is my only chance to learn this, to experience this, to heal this. And there are some experiences that are truly unique because of this moment in time. This is not my only chance to experience, to learn chance to heal. The experiences in the future might have different details, but they can contain the same richness, the same healing, the same transformation, and I give myself permission to trust. The essentials will show up in my life again and again. Nice deep breath. So we notice how we experience it. We see it as protection. We recognize the fear. We acknowledge this isn't the only opportunity. Now, the fifth thing we can do, we don't always have to do this, but sometimes even inside of that, we can still start to feel a sense of regret. It's almost like I am pre-feeling the regret that is going to happen in the future after I miss this out. I am already experiencing regret for not doing this. The fear of missing out is about my future, and the regret is about my past. And right now, even though it's not in my past yet, but I'm choosing not to pursue it, I'm already experiencing regret, which is pre-regret. And the regret is just that part of me that wants me to have the good things. It wants me to learn from the past choices. Give myself permission to be gentle with myself. And know that I can miss out and still be safe and happy and fulfilled. Nice deep breath. Last thing we're going to do is we're going to give ourselves permission to tap and appreciate where we are in the moment. Even though I am not doing that other thing, and even though the moment I am in, the position I am in, the place that I am in is not perfect. I give myself permission to fully be in this moment, to fully be in this experience. A moment that is imperfect, but a moment that does have richness, a moment that does have everything I need. I give myself permission to be fully present in this moment. Knowing that, this is not my only moment, but it is the moment I have, and I can appreciate what is here. My deep breath. I'm stretched around. So again, process. First thing is to become aware of and noticing how we physically and emotionally experience almost so we can notice it. Number two, we want to recognize and acknowledge that that's fear of missing out is just trying to keep us safe. Then the third step is to go, okay, great, what is it trying to keep me safe for from? What is worried about and acknowledge that? Number four, what we want to do is we just want to affirm the experience and recognize what is going on. Fifth, what we do is we start to tap on the possible regret that might show up for not being there. And then number six, just being fully present in the moment, and appreciating the moment that is here. And so what this is going to do is the more we do this over time, the more we're going to stay in this moment. So this is great for doing it right now when I'm experiencing the fear of missing out. But the more I do this, the more my system is going to be like, oh, that thing is over there, but I'm fully present here. And we're almost training our resilience for that not to show up. So it's fairly straightforward process, something that works for this time of year, but something that works all of the gear. If this is a process you enjoyed, you know, someone in your life who might use it, be our ambassador, pass it along, don't spam your inbox, but there might be one or two people in your life who would really appreciate something like this. One of the things we also do at the end of every single episode is we like to share something from the back catalog. This is episode six, eight of the podcast has been around for almost 20 years. There's so much goodness waiting in the back catalog. Before we jumped in here, I went into the random number generator, random number generator gave me the number two, three, nine, which is using tapping to go inside and coincide with the 12 step process. That might be something that is useful for you. If you go to tapping q and a dot com slash two three nine, that's tapping q and a dot com slash two three nine easy for me to say slow down. You'll be able to experience all of that. And if that's not a good fit for you, if you go to tapping podcast.com, all six hundred eighty episodes of the archive are waiting for you there. The tapping q and a podcast is copyright gene mantra, a stately tapping q and a all views expressed by guests are those of the guests and not necessarily of gene mantra stately and tapping q and a. [ Silence ]