Tanya Class 12- Chapter 10

Exploring the Inner Landscape of a Tzaddik Well, OK, so you know, we're we're about to start talking about what it's haddock looks like internally, what the inner world of it's haddock looks like. And so I just, I want to begin with a little simple question just to open us up a bit, you know, open our imagination or a little bit of something to help resonate a little bit with what we're going to talk about here, even though perhaps none of us in this room are in the level of it's haddock. I don't know, everybody's in our world. So I don't want to make any assumptions, but I, I still want to give us something that we could touch, something that could feel a little bit unrelatable. So have you ever noticed that over time, something inside of you changed in a very real, real way, where something that you once struggle with doesn't feel like a struggle anymore? Not only doesn't it not feel like a struggle, it literally doesn't take up space inside of you. Almost like it just faded into the background of who you are now to the point where you cannot relate to it the way that you once did. And actually, I'm going to take it even one step further. Not only does it take up 0 space, you're able to notice that the same energy that once was occupied in that struggle has now been channelled, transformed, I should say in in the service of your best self. I'm just going to leave that there as an open-ended question. Something to think about. We could revisit it later on during the the Q&A. Understanding Complete and Incomplete Tzaddikim So here in in chapter 10, we're going to start answering or or clarifying some of the questions that were posed in the 1st chapter. Namely, we are going to get a full elaboration on what is a topic and how the topic is categorized into two. There's the complete sodic and there's the incomplete sodic. Up until now, we got a map of our psyche. We learned about the 2 operating systems, right? The godly soul, the animal soul. And in the last chapter, we had a, you know, with this full breakdown of what this internal battle looks like between these two souls, how each soul has this quest to dominate our thoughts, our speech and our action. Now that this has been laid out for us, now we can understand more fully the question that was or, you know, the the questions he brought forth in the 1st chapter. Remember in the 1st chapter, the altar. But first he tells us we were given a promise. We were given an oath to be a Sadiq and don't be a Russia. And even if the whole world considers you a Sadiq, you should in your own eyes, you should be like a Russia. And then he brings a similar, you know, a seemingly countering teaching from the mission that says don't be like a Russia in your own estimation. You should not because that self perception would lead you to give up on yourself. And so then in order to bring clarity to all of this, he tells us there's five categories of people. There's a complete Sadiq, an incomplete Sadiq, A rush of a Taiblai. On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have the the Russia who has some good Russia Virale, a Russia who's all complete, not good fragmentation internally. And then there is the 5th category, there's the Binani. So he introduces us to those categories. And now that we have a map of our inner world, we could actually start understanding what each category means. So here we are now that we know about the godly soul, the animal soul, how they work in contrast to each other in relation to each other. Now we can understand in depth what is this category of the Tadic. The Incomplete Tzaddik Quiets Inner Negativity And that's what we're going to do in this chapter. This chapter we talk about the Tadic. Next chapter we talk about Zelu Umassah, the opposite side of the spectrum, the equal and opposite force of the Russia. And the following chapter, chapter 12, we're going to learn about the inner world of the Binani. So here we are beginning this chapter with Tadic Shaheenaigamor, the incomplete Tadic, also known as Tadiq Virali, a Tadiq who still has, in the words of the Tanya AT Miza era, a subtle residue of of inner fragmentation. On the one hand, there's still a trace, there's still a vestige of something very something that's unresolved within him. But on the other hand, the altar of a, as he describes it here, this element finds no expression whatsoever. It's so minute, it's so thoroughly nullified, so thoroughly subdued by the overwhelming presence of good, that it's almost impossible to detect it. It exists, but it's it's completely silent that it has no voice, it has no traction. It has absolutely no influence over the person's lived experience. That Sadiq is someone who has strengthened their godly soul to such a degree, has such access to his godly soul, that that's what is steadily and consistently driving his internal world. His operating system is fully aligned with something higher. Again, just just to break it down in very psychological terms, the usual survival impulses that drive most humans, the pull towards self-centered gratification and validation or the emotional reactivity, those things are completely quiet inside the Sadiq, the Tanakh. He does not need attention. He doesn't seek validation. His animal soul does not have any cravings, It does not have any insecurities, it does not make any noise, and it does not have any need or desire to be fed. And yet here is this is the critical distinction about the incomplete tardic versus versus the complete tardic. The animal soul hasn't been transformed. Again, in the words of the Tanya EN hara nehfak, the Taib Mamash, the core nature of those impulses haven't been flipped. The energy of the animal soul still exists in its original form. It's been quieted, it's been overruled, it's been, it's been rendered inactive, but it hasn't been redefined, which means that he's not a tadakam or he's not a complete tadak. Because for the tadakam or the, the, the incomplete tadak, it's not just about controlling these parts of us. It's not just about, you know, quieting, silencing the animal soul, preventing it from expressing itself. Complete Tzaddik Transforms Drives, Averts Unholiness The ultimate. The ultimate goal here is transformation. Or at least for the tadak Amor, that's the ultimate. When the same drives that once fueled self-centered emotions, when those same drives are redirected and repurposed again psychologically, we might say it like this. The Tadak Shaheen I Gamor, the Tadak who's not yet complete is someone who obviously, obviously no longer expresses anger, no longer expresses jealousy, no longer expresses resentment. Those emotional patterns don't even show up internally. The topic verali doesn't grapple with those voices. There's stability, there's clarity, there's alignment. And yet it's not complete because the complete Sadiq is the person where that same energy that once had the potential to become anger, that's now been transformed into passion, into conviction for truth. The exact same energy of the animal soul has now channelled for truth the the intensity that could have turned into jealousy that's now become a deep longing for closeness to God. The same drive that might have expressed itself as ego or self assertion is arrogance has now been converted into this unwavering dedication for something beyond the self. This is a complete savage. In other words, his, his parts haven't just been subdued. They haven't just been quieted. They've been totally transformed, refined, elevated, just to use all the words you might be familiar with. The animal soul no longer is an opponent that that you know, we have to keep shushing. The animal soul has now been recruited. Its passion, its strength, its raw energy now serves holiness. So long as that transformation hasn't occurred, so long as there still remains even a subtle, subtle residue of raw, of, of inner fragmentation. This person, despite, again, despite their extraordinary spiritual stature, they're still categorized as atsadic virali. He still has a vestige of, of raw, of, of evil, of of fragmentation inside of him. The Tzaddik's Natural Repulsion to Misalignment And that now, so now the, the altar of it goes on to elaborate on what is a tadik Amor, what is a complete tadik. And he gives us this image, this the the wording that he uses. He tells us this is someone who removed the soiled garments of evil entirely. Again, the words of the Tanya Aliideh Hassaras Habgadim Hatsayim. He took off those soiled, dirty, sullied garments. In other words, he hasn't just distanced himself from them. He he completely removed them. Meaning his relationship to anything that's rooted in Clipa is not neutral. It's not indifferent. It's absolute repulsion. That's what he's going to explain. It's a complete aversion to anything that's not fully, fully aligned with truth. Anything that is not fully aligned with Kedusha that completes how that has an aversion to it in our past. Again, just to give context, in our past discussions we described, we described someone who doesn't act on impulse, right? We, we're, this is the elevated state of a person not acting on impulse, doesn't seek out pleasure to fill a void, not chasing worldly indulgences in order to feel less alone or less detached. This person isn't driven by the need for validation, not by the need of approval in order to feel worthy. This person is already, like I said, a very deeply refined person. There's no inner chaos that's pulling him towards distraction or self gratification. But hold on to sneeze. But the complete tadek it's it's goes something further here the altar was describing. He doesn't just not want those things. He has a total aversion to them. He's repulsed by them. Again, just just to emphasize, it's not in this reactive unhealthy way. It's just the natural consequence of being fully aligned, because in order to be in a fully committed relationship with God, in order to love Hashem completely, there has to be a corresponding aversion to anything that stands in opposition, opposition to that relationship. Love in its truest form is exclusive. You can't have dual loyalties. And so this means that anything that distances a person from that connection is something that they're going to instinctively recoil from. So the author of it tells us that the sign of a complete Sadiq is not it is. It's that he is disgusted by evil and, and again, when I'm using the word evil, that's an extreme word. He's disgusted by anything that's not fully aligned with truth. He doesn't not only he, he, he not only does he not like it or enjoy it, he's not only not tempted by it, he cannot even enjoy something permissible if it's not aligned with God's will. If this thought this word, this deed does not add to the realm of Katusha, but Tadek has an aversion to it because anything from Citra Ahra is experienced him as as opposition and altar of brings a again. It's a a pretty strong statement from from the Tahil and he quotes a apostle, he says Takhlis Sina Sinasayan. I hated it with utter hatred. They become my enemies again. David M Malik is is talking about like referencing his enemies. The altar of is using this quote as anything that opposes holiness. Again, I don't want you to imagine this as this emotional volatility. It's it's think of it as simple clarity. When you have absolute clarity for what you do care about. As a result of that, anything else you're going to have aversion to. This is the natural result of having a great and expansive love for God. And the author describes it as a very fundamental principle. I'll use his words, kefir gaidala abalashem commensurate with the magnitude of 1's love for God, kak erek guaido hassena licitra Accra. That is going to be the magnitude of 1's aversion to anything that opposes him. They're two sides of the exact same reality. Love is not just about what we are drawn to, it also is about what we lose taste for. A A person could measure the depth of their love not only by what they long for, but also about what your sensitivities are, what feels off, what feels misaligned, what you could no longer comfortably engage with because complete love leaves no space for an attraction to the opposite and complete aversion. I guess on the on the flip side, you would say complete aversion is going to reflect complete alignment. You know, let's, we can understand this really from just day-to-day experiences. Somebody who's a, a wine connoisseur, OK, he doesn't just enjoy fine wine, he'll often lose his taste for cheap or poorly made wine. What once was, you know, it's acceptable, now it's going to feel very artificial. Their appreciation is going to create a corresponding sensitivity, right? Take the same example. Maybe this you and I can relate to more. I'm definitely not a wine connoisseur. But when you're committed to healthy eating, as you come to appreciate how nourishing, how nourishing food is going to affect your body and your well-being at the same time, highly processed food is totally going to lose its appeal. So again, we're not just choosing healthier options. The taste, our taste itself is going to change to the point that you're going to have a total aversion to junk food. Or, or take a consider a musician with a refined ear. The more they love beautiful music, the more sensitive you become to the notes that are out of tune. The appreciation is naturally going to sharpen their discernment. Again, all these examples to emphasize that the depth of a person's love could be measured by what it's made sensitive to. The more we find the love, the less appealing its opposite becomes. Complete love leaves no room for attraction to anything that undermines it. And that means that complete aversion, again, like I said this before, that reflects complete alignment. You know, let's look at the same concept, actually, the way that our deeply held moral boundaries operate. There's certain things, murder, abuse, cruelty that a healthy person doesn't just refrain from doing, they simply don't experience it as a possibility at all. These acts are so fundamentally misaligned with their values that not only don't they evoke temptation, On the contrary, they evoke total revulsion. So the altar of his description of the complete sadak, he's saying here that this is how the sadak relates to anything that's opposed to holiness. It's not a struggle of self restraint. There's simply no inner attraction to overcome it. He just as the moral violations that are inherently incompatible with anyone with a health, a healthy conscience, anything rooted in unholiness is going to feel inherently incompatible with a Tadic's soul. A Tadic's love for God means that anything that's not in absolute alignment is not going to be desirable to him. Personal Aversion and the Bittel Litmus Test You know, it's interesting, a few weeks ago, one of the women who listens to this class reached out to me and I don't know her personally. So it was really a very objective, you know, the conversation had no personal interest or, or, or it didn't even have enough context. So again, I'm, I'm qualifying that, but there wasn't a lot of context. It was very, a very subjective conversation, specifically about reading novels she had written to me. She said she, she sent me a message she loves to read novels and she wanted to know what my thoughts were on that. Specifically, what was the Tanya's perspective on, on something like reading fiction. Now at the time it the reason she, she brought this question was because at the time we had just introduced the ideas of Klipa and Citra Accra. And we were talking about this idea that there's no neutral space in the sense that everything we engage with is either feeding the side of holiness or consciously or unconsciously, it's feeding the side of Klipa. And so her question came, you know, it was in that framework that she was asking. So I shared with her my initial thoughts. But I do remember then telling her that just wait until you get to Chapter 10. Because in this chapter, the altar of it, he's he's like pointing out something which we've already touched on, but now he's like saying it in a very pointed way, that anything that comes in the way of deep alignment with truth, it doesn't remain neutral. It begins to function as a blockage. It desensitizes, it shifts our perception, it changes what we're attuned to. And again, I, I want to say something before continuing it. It's likely that none of us here are atadic. And because of that, it is OK if what we're learning here feels rather extreme or out of reach. It is that it is extreme and it might be out of reach. But at the same time, these teachings are meant to be lived with. They're not abstract categories of, you know, spiritual attainment for for great Mystics, the altar of is including it here to guide us towards clarity in the choices that we make in our lives. And, and as we know from the rabbit, the very fact that the altar of it dedicates entire sections to describe these states means that there, there are aspects of it that are relevant to each one of us. Even if we're not operating from that level, we can still touch these ideas and parts of our lives, which is why I, I started with that introduction earlier. There are areas in our life where we absolutely can refine ourselves to such a degree that we develop a natural sensitivity and even an aversion to anything that disrupts our alignment with the truth. So when this woman asked me about reading, I really understood the question. I used to love reading. It was something I was naturally I, I gravitated towards. It was restful, it was immersive, it was, it was part of my world. But today I can genuinely say that I have 0 attraction to those kinds of books, like no pull, no interest. And again, I want to be very clear, this is absolutely not a judgement of anyone who does enjoy them. This is simply my own personal experience of what shifted over time for me. Because like again, what I became aware of was that many of those narratives, the way they're constructed, the emotional world that they try to pull us into, that they draw us into naturally, the values that they, you know, subtly transmit. For me, there was in it, I was able to sense the Clipa and the Citra Aqua there, maybe not in a dramatic way, but in the sense that they blur our perception, they desensitize us, they shape how we begin to see people, how we process relationships, how we understand desire and fulfillment. And in my process, I started to notice that once it once felt completely neutral, but now it, it didn't feel neutral anymore. You know what we had said in the past that when that every single thought, every single word, every single deed is either contributing to the side of Kadusha or to the side of Klipa. In this context, you could ask, like we could simply ask as you pick up a book, is this contributing to clarity or potentially clouding it? And at a certain point, like I just started to feel an aversion again, not because it was something that I forced myself away from. It was never ever a conscious thought process. Just what happened was that inside of me something had realigned and that lost I, I, I lost my taste for that again, I want to emphasize here again, there are many, many eras in my life where I'm still very much a work in progress and, and I'm processing. I'm actually seeing this to point out that even though we may never touch the only certain souls can reach the level of atomic. But I'm pointing this out that even while so much of my life is still a work in process, still refining, still working through layers of growth. What I'm sharing here is not at all a statement of perfection. It's just one area where I could sense a clear change in sensitivity. And this specific one came to mind because of the question that that that woman had sheared and, and I share it again, like I said it, Ellis, this this idea that the altar of is shearing here it it's illustrating to us in a very grounded way that what we are being taught in this chapter is something that applies to us. That over time, alignment with truth doesn't only change what we do. It doesn't only change what we're drawn to. It literally effects what we're naturally going to turn away from. And you know, actually just to bring another example, I was discussing this chapter with a group, with a some fellow shlukos. We were talking about the idea of Bittel, a topic that we've explored a lot in our previous classes. The idea that what we had happened to have been discussing was this idea that in our role as emissaries of the river, as shlukos of the river, we have this ability to plug into that frequency of Bittel. To set aside our own ego's agenda and become, you know, a, a clean channel for whatever God wants to move through us. And of course, again, this, this is not an idea that's unique to shlakas at all. Every single one of us is a, a, a shliac of God. I just happened to be having this conversation with a group of shlakas. And so it was in the shlakas context. And with this chapter in mind, I, I pointed out that the author of the may actually be offering us some kind of a litmus test for how clean and how clear our channel is. Are there any leaks in it? Are there places where our own needs and our own desires and our own ego is still colouring the degree to which we're allowing God in, to which we allow God to flow through US? The altar but offers this kind of this test here. It's like we can ask ourselves these questions like, am I still seeking validation? Am I still measuring my success in comparison to someone else's? Am I still seeking approval or honor or recognition or control? And again, these these specific questions are going to be different for each one of us, but the general question that each one of us could really ask ourselves. And anytime we want to be a Clear Channel for God, we can ask ourselves, what does my ego typically need in order to feel safe and soothe and seen for significant. And, and again, according to the standards set by this chapter, if I still find myself drawn to that, I still need it, then my channel's not yet completely clear. You know, it's actually, it's interesting. I just noticed this in today's Kritas and the Hamish that we study today, the Jewish people want to get permission to cross through the land of was it Mayav? I think it was the land of Moab. And they want us. They, they want a car too. And they say they, they offer this condition. They say, we're going to stay true to our path. We're not going to be your right. We're not going to be your left. And obviously they mean to say like, we're not going to trespass. We're going to pay for our passage. We'll stay on our, our path. We're not going right. We're not going left. And the rabbit takes those those exact words and he elaborates on it. He says that in order for a Jew to stay on the divine path, we, we have to be very sensitive to the needs of the divine soul. Of course, we all still need the physical things that a body needs to live, but we can't let it obscure our purpose. We can't let it obscure our mission. We have to walk along this path and don't get distracted by the right, don't get distracted by the left. Again, we're emphasizing here the Alta rabbit is describing the level of a TA de gamor. This is not an expectation for most of us. OK, As a matter of fact, we'll see later. Like the the Rab Shumanvari Alkai says that there's so few like he was, he was saying like maybe just him and his son are at this level. Like there are very, very few people at that reach this. But it's a very powerful take away for us. It gives us a way to assess our own alignment, to ask ourselves, where am I still serving myself? Where am I, you know, where am I still serving myself? Where am I serving or on the OR, you know, on the flip side, where am I serving something greater than myself? The more that we align with truth, the less attached we become to the things that our ego needs and the more available we become to be a channel for godliness to flow through us, for God's agenda to move through us. Why Incomplete Tzaddikim Lack Total Aversion And again, I'm going to, I'll move back into the lines of the time here. So we exceed that. The exact terminology that I'm borrowing all this from, I'll read a little bit from the Hebrew here. Sadiq Shaheenai gamor, the incomplete Sadiq. We were just describing the, the complete Sadiq that he contrasts it to help us understand the incomplete Sadiq. Kusha enai Saina hasitra acrobatakisasina. He does not have this total aversion to anything that comes from Klipa. He does not have a tackle Sasena like literally absolute hatred towards it. And again, I the word hatred sounds volatile. So, so I, I really feel like we could translate it. It's talking about an aversion like 'cause it God, we, we see that same term used in reference to God as well. So it's really just anything out of alignment with the truth. You just have this instinctive aversion to it. Again, back to the topic, Shaheena Gamma Lakhin Inamma is gamkin. But Robert Taklas, since he doesn't have a total aversion to it, he's not absolutely repulsed by it. Then anything that the animal's soul might still have pleasure to it. He doesn't have aversion to it. But like who's true? Why is that? Why is that? But like who's true have gotten him at Sayim the gamma in me call the call because he has not yet completely shed those dirty garments. Any thought and remember we discussed garments are like the libushim, the the modes of expression. Any thoughts feature action of the animal's soul. Anything that it's typically attracted to, anything that it's typically desire towards, anything that it's typically impulsed towards. He hasn't completely shed that. It takes up no space in his life, but he doesn't he's not he's not repulsed by it. He doesn't have a version to it. Therefore, he hasn't been able to transform it. What you need to have an aversion toward it in order to transform it. In other words, it's still he still it still has a hold on him. It still has a hold on the way it it once expressed itself. The raw energy and the passion of the animal soul is either going to be directed towards the kind of things that the animal soul typically gravitates towards until the tada completely let's go of any hold of that kind of living. Only then does the animal soul's energy get fully channeled and therefore transformed to good, and then it becomes a vehicle for the will and the desire of the godly soul. So I'm going to just summarize that that within the incomplete Sadiq before we move to the next point. Within the incomplete Sadiq, even though he has reached such a high and refined level of living, there's still remains of vulnerability because there isn't total an absolute aversion to the animal souls typical modes of expression. The fact that it could still register even in a neutral or theoretical way shows that it hasn't been fully transformed from within. And now the author of it continues to explain that even within an incomplete Sodic, the remaining evil isn't the same in each one of them. In one person it might show up as a subtle trace connected to the element of water, like pleasure or desire. In another, it might be connected to the element of fire, the source of arrogance or anger or ego. So first there's these different types of what remains. Like there's a qualitative difference, what kind of trees still remains. And then he adds another layer that not just what kind of residue remains, but how much of it. In one topic, the good might outweigh the remaining trees with a ratio of 60 to one. In another topic, it might outweigh it in a ratio of 1000 to 1 or even more. So again, even though both are considered incomplete. So Deacon, there's still different levels of how refined and and this this ratio thing just again, borrowing straight from the words of the Tanya, he, he brings out the idea from halacha to help us understand this. There is a law within the laws of kosher. When a small amount of not kosher food accidentally falls into kosher food. If there is 60 times more kosher than non kosher, the non kosher's considered nullified because it no longer can affect the taste, it no longer has any impact, it can't be felt and therefore it's the the food is still kosher. So the same idea applies here and and again, it's an important detail because even though there's a trace of something unrefined within the Sadiq, it is so overwhelmed by the good it that it has no expression at all. It doesn't affect his behavior. It's not even sensed. So whether it's a ratio of 60 to one, a ratio of 1000 to one, in practical terms, the result's the same. The remaining traces completely silenced within the Sadiq. And he quotes a teaching here from the Tama that tells us that there may be countless Sadiqim. He says that he gives a number here of 18,000 righteous individuals, but when it comes to the category of the Tadika, more of those there are few. And he quotes Rabishuman Baruchai or EC binay aliya Bahinu atim. I have seen Binay Aliya, those of true spiritual ascent, those who reached this complete refinement, and those are exceedingly rare. Complete Tzaddikim Elevate Reality Through Selfless Service And now we go on to describe in more detail what makes a Sadiq a complete Sadiq versus the incomplete Sadiq. So we described a lot about what what, what it is about the incomplete Sadiq. You know why he's still called the Sadiq despite this internal fragmentation that has been so silenced. Now we're going to talk about what is the Tada Gomor in, in relation to that And it's all the entire explanation is in these two words. Nae aliyah, people of ascent, the word aliyah tells us how these Sadiqim Mahafran hara uma alim. I said the kadusha, you see that root word, that same word. They take what is raw, what is evil, what's broken, what's fragmented. Uma alim. I say they transform it, they reintegrate it so it can reascend back into the realm of Kadusha. It can ascend into the realm of Kadusha. They've not only mastered the animal soul like the Sadiq Shaheena Gamor, but they've been able to affect its total transformation and it's ascent. Rabi Shimon Baruchai was the quintessential complete Sadiq. And in the next paragraph, the altar ever recounts what the Zahar tells us. The Zahar tells us that you know, just to describe what is this Vinay Alia. He says when Rabbi Khia wished to ascend into the Hegel, he wanted to visit the heavenly shrine of Rabi Shimon Baruchai. He heard a voice come out and say, Whichever of you before coming here has converted the darkness of the world into light and has transformed the bitter taste of their animal soul into sweetness. Only those may enter. In other words, you have to be 1 of the Vinay Aaliyah. You have to have transformed completely transformed darkness to light in order to come here again emphasizing why are they called Vinay Aaliyah? This is the accomplishment of the Tada Kamra that he not only transformed every Klipa that he engaged with, which we do right when we we engage with the mitzvah, we eat, we sleep, we talk, for the sake of heaven, we we are transforming that object into something holy. But the Sadiq has managed to do this with his entire life force. The entire life force of his animal soul has been transformed to be an operating force for for his godly soul. Now the altar of it tells us another reason why he's called the Vinay Aaliyah. Why is he called the Tadak Amor? And here he tells us it's not just to how the Tadak relates to evil. This is also how the Tadak relates to good. And again, if we thought that this was, you know, if you felt like this, we were reaching something very high in our explanation before, we're going to see here as well. The altar of is describing a really, really uniquely spiritual stature, a spiritual level. Up until now, we talked about someone who has no attraction to anything unholy. But here we're going to take it one layer deeper to show us what's driving the topic's connection to holiness itself. A person might think, you know, we, we, we understand holiness as you know, we want to cleave to God. We want to feel close. We want to experience connection. We have no our desire for worldly things might be set aside, and we have this deep longing and desire to connect to God. The Tada Gomer, though, goes much late, much, much higher than that. This Binay Aaliyah, he's in even higher level. He's ascended to such a high level that his goal in doing a mitzvah has nothing to do with his own closeness. It's not about his own spiritual experience. His entire orientation is to give God what God wants. His focus isn't about, you know, his focus isn't inward. It's not about his own spiritual growth. His entire focus is this idea of bnealia. It's this upward striving completely directed towards God. He doesn't, it's, it's not that he doesn't desire God, it's that desire doesn't even come from himself anymore. It comes from God's will. The altar gives us an analogy for this. He describes a child who loves his parents so deeply that he's ready to give up everything for them, Not just his comfort and not just his time, but his very life. He loves them more. He, in other words, he loves them more than he loves himself. He loves them in the altar of his words more than nefeshwar, his own Nefeshwar hanashama. If his parent was taking captive, he would give up everything to redeem them. That's a kind of love that the altar of is describing here in the Tada Gomor, a love where the self disappears again, not because we are suppressing the self, but the self is no longer the center. And you know, I, I actually, I'm going to bring an example. This is not brought here in the Tanya, but I'll bring an example of, of something that we all recognize. We see this clearly in the, in the example of Abramovino at the Ikeda when he was commanded to bring Yitsuk as an offering. This went against everything inside of him. It did not align with his animal soul, of course, right? Every instinct of protection, of safety, of attachment doesn't align with that, but even more that it didn't align with his values. God himself had promised him that Yitzhak's going to be the future. Yitzhak's going to be the continuation. So this command, this mitzvah here contradicted everything that he understood, even spiritually. So there's no internal voice that was supporting it. There was no logic. There was no emotional alignment. There was no prior framework to lean on. All he had was one thing God said to do it, and he does this again, it wasn't for for meaning. It wasn't for connection because it it went against anything that sounded meaningful to him. The only reason he did it was because this is what God told him to do. So this is the level of TA de gamo. It doesn't just let go of the desires of the animal soul. It let's go of eating, even the yearning of the godly soul, even the desire to feel close to experience godliness, it's still there. But in some sense, when you have a desire for closeness, it's still about you, right? It's still about him. And here there's no, there's no you left at the center. Kabbalas Ol: Surrendering to God's Will Fully There's only God and again, I want to emphasize, even though you and I are not Russians and you you, I am not at this level. OK, maybe you are. I still feel that is very practical message here for each of us. When you hear the term cabal is all, I'm curious what comes to mind. What comes to mind when you hear this term? It's it's again, I'll I'll translate it. It's a Hasidic term about submitting to God. Literally translated, Cabal assault means accepting the yoke. In other words, you know, like the the animal that has a yoke over him and just has to do the job. Cabal assault, accepting the yoke of heaven despite what we think, despite what we know, despite what we feel like. Now I, I know from many of my conversations, people who have a back when this term got very misunderstood, people understood it possibly as pushing away a part of ourself, kind of repressing our desires and our wants. Just because I told you so, God said you have to and we have to. And it sucks. It doesn't feel good. But that's not what this is. Kabalasal doesn't mean that Kabalasal is not where we're we're pressing, we're not dissociating, it's the opposite. I really feel that this message of the TA de Gamor allows us to have a deep understanding of what is Kabalasal. It's showing up fully present, fully open hearted, but without needing to feel inspired in order to be aligned. I'm aware that I feel right now a lack of motivation. I'm aware that I feel that I'm not inspired that by this mitzvah, my animal soul and my godly soul are not lined up. And obviously we all want that. We all want to show up in our relationship to God where we're feeling motivated and inspired in a deep sense and embodied sense of like. This feels like the right thing to do. But Cabala souls plays a role here. When I'm not motivated, I lack the clarity and still I show up. I'm not saying, you know, I don't feel it right now and I, I don't, I, it's like we're not pushing away what we don't have. We recognize fully. I don't feel it. I don't fully understand it. I'm not emotionally carried by it. And still I'm here not because I shut myself off, but because I'm choosing to align with truth, even though I don't have access to that truth right now. So I'm not bypassing my experience. I'm not numbing myself out. I'm not disconnecting with from what's real inside of me. I'm still very weak to it and still I'm acting from a deeper place of commitment. The deeper place is that this is what God wants from me right now and I could hold both at the same time. The honesty of what I'm feeling and the clarity of what's true. That's Kabbalah's soul. It's not suppression and it's not shut down. It's a very alive, very present kind of surrender where I stay open and I still choose a line. I, I still choose to align with what's real beyond my, my momentary state. So now we're, we're up to the conclusion of this chapter, making one final point while referencing actually a very foundational idea on Hassidis and I. Unifying God's Presence Through Every Mitzvah I want to take a moment to elaborate on this because it might be new for some of us here, or you may have heard it but not fully understand the ultra references. The idea in class. It is about the feminine waters below arousing the masculine waters. This is in relationship to God that we we arouse the feminine waters in order to awaken the masculine waters. You may have heard it in the terms of an Isa Rosa de Lasata, an awakening from below to arousing awakening from above. So that's just the introduction. We'll, we'll elaborate. OK, This is this is an experience that happens every time we do a mitzvah. The altobe explains here that the reason a complete Sadiq is called Vinay Aaliyah. He concludes with this in in one short paragraph, but it'll take us a moment. He says that the reason they're called Vinay Aaliyah. We we explained already 2 separate ideas. Number one, that on the one hand, they're called Vinay Aaliyah because they elevate reality itself. They transform darkness into light. They take the physical world, including the realm of clipas *** and even their own animal soul, and they raise it up. They refine it entirely into holiness. Another reason they're called Binalia is because their Avaida is completely selfish, so sorry, selfless. Their entire orientation is not towards themselves here, it's this Aaliyah, there's this, there's this rising upward towards fulfilling what God alone desires. And this utterly selfless service is what allows God's presence to be drawn down and revealed in this world. So the altar of it says these are two reasons, but they're part of the same truth. They're not 2 separate ideas. They're one in the same. They're part of the they're two parts of the same process. So bear with me here. Because the elevation of the lower realm and the drawing down of the higher realm, they're, they're interconnected ideas. This expression of ma alin mayim nukvim, right? We raised the lower waters with Nasim Yekhudimalien. I'm reading the words from Natanya. We nasim Yehudimalien, we, we 'cause these unifications above the higher it mayim nukvim. Sorry, Mayim Dukhrin, the rising of feminine waters draws down the masculine waters. So here's the explanation of what this means. In the order of creation, there was a separation between the waters above and the waters below. The upper waters represent the divine flow, that which which with was that, that what is given from above. This idea of Mashpia, The lower waters represent creation, our world, our experience, that which receives the idea of the macabre. That's why the upper waters are the masculine waters, the lower waters are the feminine waters, and the entire purpose of creation is to create the reunification, to bring a unity between those two waters. In order, though, for the upper waters to descend, the lower waters have to first rise up. That's where our role plays. That's where we come in here. This means that when a person takes on anything from this world, a physical act, an object, a moment of time, and we use it for a mitzvah, we are elevating it upward. This is our awakening from below. This is our isarosa de la SATA. Practically, this is what happens every single time we do a mitzvah. We take the coin for tadaka, or the tefillin, or the candle, or the mezuzah, the words of prayer, the words of Tyra, and with our intention we are elevating it. We are reorienting it towards its source. This upward movement creates A vessel for a response from above. And in response there is, this is a Rosa de la Elah, this awakening from above the upper waters, the divine flow descend into that act and godliness is revealed within the mitzvah itself. So, so every single mitzvah, it's not just one movement, it's a it's a double movement happening at once. We rise from below and that rising draws down from above, which is essentially what desire is, is phrasing is liacht cuchibriques trente. This is the uniting of Hashem with his srina down here, his presence in the world, because this is there's there's this meeting point. Every single mitzvah is I mean, again, the term mitzvah is tafta. It's a connection. Every single mitzvah is a meeting point. The world is lifted upward towards God, and godliness responds by becoming revealed within the world. And the author of it adds that this is the essence of every mitzvah. It's not only a human act, it's not only a divine revelation, it's a fusion of both. There's this collaboration between the human effort and God's response in this one act. So this brings us back again to the original point, the meaning of Benayaliya, the two meanings of Benayaliya, they're not separate explanations, they're one structure. The elevation of the world and the drawing down of godliness are there again the same system from two sides, the higher reality response to the lower and the lower reality is elevated into the higher. And, and again, just to emphasize, this isn't this exact experience is not only for Tsadika and the entire system of this of of you know, the Isirosa de la SATA to the Isirosa de la Aila. This is the daily structure of every single the the work cut out for every single one of us and every single It's what we do. Again, even though we're not at the level of the Tata Gamma, every mitzvah we do has this dynamic. We take something in our world, we lift it upward, and in that movement we are drawing divine presence into the world constantly. With every mitzvah, with everything we study, with every act we do through our intention, This is what we're causing this the lower waters rising up in the upper waters descending. It's not, it's it's again before you learn it. In this context, it might sound like some kind of abstract idea from Kabbalah, some abstract mysticism, but really it is the inner structure of our daily life in our relationship with God. Every mitzvah becomes that moment of ascent and descent, a moment we're having an earth meet, a moment where we are participating in the the Ahad Kuchibrikuchente, where we are participating in the unification of God and his presence in this world. Bittersweet Yearning and Attaining Tzaddik Moments I am. I will end on that note. Ladies, thank you for joining me and those who joined in the middle. Nice to see you. I know there was a, there was a little, there were a lot of complex ideas explained there, especially at the end. So if anyone has any questions or comments or or input, perhaps even from the the question I started with, if anyone wants to share their own personal experience. You seem to are you trying to mute there? I see a lot of finger movement there. If anyone. Hi Liba, totally missed the hour. What's that? I said I totally missed the hour. My kids are OK. Did you come on, I'll just say hello and I hope to catch up. Yes. Anybody anybody with any questions? Should I should I hit the record button or we have any? Speaker 2 Sylvie I do. It's breathy. Speaker 1 Go ahead. Speaker 2 To hear this is like, you know, as, as it unfolds in the learning and in the, in the psyche and then and, and then and then processing and then soaking it in and then feeling it. There's a yearning for what you're describing, a strong yearning for what you're describing. And in the same sense of yearning it, there's like a bittersweet feeling of is it possible or is it just can we have moments of such experiences of feeling in that alignment of like I there, like there's, I don't know, the description of it almost feels unattainable. Speaker 1 So it's interesting, Brocky, because when you said there's a bittersweet, say that sentence again about the bittersweet because that that word stuck out for me because of what I do feel is that the way we access these kind of moments is it has to move through the process of the bittersweet distance, the sense of feeling. The sense of feeling distance is what allows us to come into the sense of connection. It, it's kind of described that way in Encacitus, the, the the author of uses the word Mariros like the, the recognition that we're so far like this realization when a child has this awareness that he's been living so far away from his parents for so long and he misses them and he feels their absence and he feels the longing for connection. It, it almost starts there and then it moves into the sense of connection. And so if you could presence with that sense of distance and that sense of longing, it trans it like it moves into into the next step where that sense of connection becomes so alive. Speaker 2 Right. So I guess it's, I guess what I'm hearing then is there's no measuring stick of this. It's not an experience of, you know, to hear that. It's, you know, Rabbi Shimon Barakai was one of those people that attained that. You know what? I'm glad we know Rabbi Shimanbhayekhai. I'm glad he's part of our lives. I'm glad that we can siphon some of that energy from Rabbi Shimanbhayekhai. Absolutely, you know. Speaker 1 Absolutely. I want to. I actually want to find this exact quote. I know I shared it. I shared it with with us. I I shared it in the first week of learning something that I had seen in the Tanya of the commentaries of all the rabeum. We are the altar rabbit. The Friedrich rabbit was describes hold on. I'm going to look for it on my phone where he describes it. When we see this level of tadek that's discussed here in in the in the Tanya. It's a here it is. I found it Hatsadika Omar Bhitanya MI madriga MI Madriga Sabina name. The tadek that's referred to in the Tanya is a level of the level of the beenonym Shahariya Seifer Nikra seifer. She'll beenonym the lace Seifer Shaltadika because this book is called the book of the Beinen and not the book of Tadika. And so the mere fact that the author of his bringing us this information in which I kept emphasizing throughout the the class today. The reason it's brought here is because it wants to it. It wants to open our eyes to something that could exist within us to send a sense that we could actually have within us to be at the level of Tadakamur. This is actually only only certain souls even have that capacity. A soul has to be born in the world with that capacity. It's not something you could earn. It's not something you could work towards. Only certain souls can reach this. And yet the Tahdik reference here allows us to peek into moments where the rabbit tells us that we could all have these these Tahdik moments. This is what it's talking about. So that's why I actually started the class specifically with that question of have you experienced any something in your life that was once a struggle and today doesn't isn't because I really wanted to you to to to notice. Yeah, Terry, what were you going to say? Speaker 3 I was wondering with respect to in Hasidis, we're always hearing that every descent is for the purpose of the ascent, right? So all struggles are with the underlying intention of growing us. Is this the same fusion that we're talking about? How Tasting Truth Transforms the Soul's Desires Absolutely, absolutely. It's the exact same fusion. It starts with the soul. That's the story of the soul itself. You think about it. The soul is like resting in the heavenly abodes and it's perfect. It's hanging out among you know, it's in its comfort zone there. It's in the, it's in the beautiful world of heaven, hanging out with, you know, the righteous men and, and, and angels and God himself. And yet it comes down into this world and it's like, why? Like what, what, what does it need that journey for? And that's the answer. The you read the, the, the descent is for the sake of the ascent. The whole it can't, it will reach an even higher level than it ever could have through its experience down here on earth, through moving through the challenges, through engaging with the mundane world and elevating it through sharing a body with the animal soul and transforming parts of the animal soul. That's where the, the soul is going to reach its greatest. That's where it's going to manifest its greatness. And that same ideas then apply to every single experience we have. Every single experience, every single thing we see in God's world, we recognize and we realize God himself had to had to contract himself, make himself smaller, so to say, for the sake of creating this world so that we could have a relationship with him. And then therefore every single thing in this world had went through that process of eurida that Sarah Kaliya. Speaker 3 OK. Speaker 2 I feel like what I'm hearing talking about you like healthy food, you're talking. It's like when you taste the right thing and you experience the right thing and you feel an all-encompassing experience of alignment. I think the yearning double down, you want more of it. Speaker 1 Absolutely, absolutely. You know, I I've given the simple analogy of like, you're thirsty. OK, this is it. But call samela Kubamai, right? We know you're thirsty. Go drink water. That's that's a saying from the from the prophets. When you're thirsty and you drink Sprite, it quenches your thirst for a minute if you have nothing else. But once you taste water, you want to, you are repulsed by the taste of Sprite. Once you taste the pure, clean bottle of water and somebody offers you a bottle of Sprite, No thank you. Who needs Coca-Cola when you're, you're thirsty? And this is the scene with every, every single one of our pleasures in life. And, and there's a whole long teaching on this. And I've actually, I've actually given a talk recently on this topic, but the, the notion that everything in this world again, the, the, we talked about how the, the topic in this chapter, we talked about the topic might have a residue from the, the, the element of water or some of the residue of the element of fire. What is the, the element of water? It's the source of pleasure, of everything in the world. Every kind of pleasure came from God. God created it. So it makes sense that it feels good. It makes sense that all the things that the human being likes feel good. But those were pleasures that diverted from God's original intention. How much more so how much more so when we taste truth. The moment you taste truth, there is going to be an aversion to the other stuff. When you have a deep sense of bliss and pleasure in, in a, in a even think, take something as simple as a healthy relationship versus one that has toxicity in it. You don't want to go back. Who wants to go back to the toxic relationship? Once you once you feel what it once you sense what it feels like to be in a healthy relationship. And again, those are just another an analogy and another analogy. But once you taste the truth like the Tadik has, he's going to have an absolute aversion to anything that's not aligned with that. Experiencing New Sensitivities Through Spiritual Growth And then so and then so as you just said, that sounds idealistic, but like you just mentioned, when you're in a toxic relationship or in a not toxic relationship, you'll feel the difference. And for those that are in situations that don't lend for that, 'cause that could be idealistic. Speaker 1 So can we? Can we? That's literally why I started the class with that initial prompt. For those of you who weren't there in the beginning, I asked, is there anything in your life, 1 aspect of your life that seven years ago or even 12 years ago or even 20, you struggled with a lot within a relationship with, you know, within something that you know, you knew a habit that you knew was not good for you again, but there was a habit just about you and yourself within your relationship with, with God. You know, whether it's comes to, to prayer or to, to study or within you in relationships, you know, the way that you interact with other people, something that you used to struggle with a lot and today it doesn't take up space. Can you think of one thing in your life that's like that? And that is that's a taste of what we're talking about here. Yeah, go ahead, Terry. Speaker 3 And and really, IFS demonstrates that so beautifully. The moment that you understand that all of these different parts of you are in fact beautiful parts that you can welcome and love and nurture. And it's so amazing because then when you go ahead to like beat yourself up or you know, you're, you're hating this part of you in this moment, it's so much easier for me in particular to catch myself and just recognize, wow, the godly soul is here from a Tanya perspective or wow, this is all self energy that's also present. And it's like it, it was so easy to go to the self sabotage and to the guilt and the shame years ago. And now once you taste how simple it is to offer compassion to your parts and just hold them and build that safety, it's so exquisite to see how you can funnel that energy into something more for Hashem. Which for me, that has been the all time greatest experiential change and that impacts anything. When I go to yell at my husband, when I go to yell at myself, it's like EW, that felt so ugly that that doesn't help it anymore. Speaker 1 Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Yeah, it's way easier to pivot towards being in a space. This is what I heard you say. It's way easier to pivot towards being in a space where your soul is leading and you're able to recognize and realize how those other parts are not your truth and you're not going to let them be in the driver's seat. The transition is easier because you're just accessing a little bit of self energy with the compassion. But that's what I heard you say. Speaker 3 Yeah. And of course, for years, that's a process that takes. Speaker 1 Yeah, of unfolding. Speaker 3 But but eventually it, it just becomes really quite a natural. You know, at the beginning you tasted it and wow, that felt nice. And that's the same thing with khasidis coming into my world. Wow, I tasted it and now I want nothing else. And, you know, joined a Khabad house and two and two years ago left a Conservative synagogue and just recently joined. And like when you go back to that Conservative synagogue and I sat there for Shabbos for a simp, I was like, they don't want this anymore. Speaker 1 So interesting. Pretty interesting, Yeah. Anything else, ladies? Speaker 2 I think life gets quiet when this happens. It's. Speaker 1 True. It's true. Yeah, I think the noise stops making noise. Speaker 2 Yeah, just gets very, you know, I, I feel like it's just a little few of us. I heard someone, not to mention any name, someone who was revered and and really looked up upon, be very raw and authentic about their journey in, in, in seeking and searching what we were just learning and describing that the authenticity of what they were seeking and searching was if it isn't with the with, with the, with the core of closeness or connection or oneness with Hashem, then it's just not anymore. Like that's the alignment they've come to, and because of that, so much of life just loses its point of interest or battle or. Speaker 1 Like I was saying before about like, you know, the, the, we've, I've said this in past classes as well, but it's like I think it was actually in the last class. Once you know who you are, once you have a relationship with God, and again that does that. That sounds abstract, but once you can sense your worthiness. Speaker 2 But is that a separate entity city you? Speaker 1 Just said. Speaker 2 Once, because you said once you know who you are, once you have a relationship with Hashem to me. Speaker 1 It's the same, all one and the same. It's all one and the same. Yeah, one and the same. I just wanted to know. I, I, I use as many terms as possible because it relates to every, everybody relates to a different 1. You know, even this into having a relationship with God. It might sound abstract. And what when I say having a relationship with God, I mean like when you know that you're a channel, when you know that that's your role in this world and you feel it and you sense it inside your bones, you no longer, it's not like you have to stop yourself from seeking somebody else's approval or stop yourself from comparing yourself to others success. You don't. It's not, it's just a natural unfolding that happens, which again can be seen as it's you become. There's an aversion to that. There's A and again, I don't want to use the term aversion in the sense of a volatile emotional reaction, but there's just like you're aligned with truth that no longer even like there's no room for it to enter you. There's no space for it inside your psyche. Overcoming Fear and Grieving Old Structures But you know, Cindy, I find that people are, there's like there's a fear factor involved here because once you have that sense of clarity and connection and you taste it and you have an experience, there's a lot of choices in a person's life that become challenged. And there's a fear of certain friends, relationships, interactions, choices that you've made that might not anymore serve you. Speaker 1 I roughly 100% we talked about this how that's why we talked about it in a, in a sense, it feels like Nasira Nefesh, right? In the past class, we talked about this. This is the ego death when when a part of us that once held onto a certain structure and we built life structures based on certain beliefs we'd had or or a need that we wanted to fill, those crumble and it's very destabilizing. But what emerges in its face, the true you, the most authentic version of you, the most like the real, your real voice now has face. And so it's true certain certain parts of us, certain relationships might, you know, nothing has to be extreme. We don't have to cut people out of our lives, but it could just be a, a, a. It's slowly. Speaker 2 Just no. It'll happen organically, but it'll happen with a grieving process, with a, with a, with a shift that you might not. You know, most people stick with a life that's mediocre because it's comfortable and familiar than to step into the realm. Speaker 1 What is that you know from, from like I've heard the saying of like you may, you may, you may invest in something. Let's say you invested $100,000 and then it goes bad. But because you already invested that much money, you keep feeding money into it, right? So you could you have a choice to make here. I've invested 40 years of my life here. Does that is that a good reason to keep investing the next 40 or do I have to grieve what was grieve the choices I made, grieve the the the money that I lost. And, and again, I actually shouldn't even see that it's not money lost. The only reason we're standing at this threshold is because of all those choices. Nothing was a mistake. Like we have to really, really emphasize that nothing was a mistake. Our soul made those, we were guided to make those choices because that was the, the, the trajectory of our soul and its learning and its growth. And we know this is a, this is a powerful, powerful notion on the idea of Cheshuba, like the, the, the idea that Zynas Nasum Kazakhi has that our sins become merits is based on this found this truth. It's a foundational truth that those sins were what caused, quote UN quote, not sins. Those choices are what caused the trajectory of growth and they are not mistakes. They may have been, but they were part of at the moment. We may have made a choice not aligned with our absolute truth, but they today we can't look back at them and be like, OK, 40 years of lost time. No, it was 40 years of of, of moving towards this stage of growth in our life. Speaker 2 You know, I heard the word mistake. Mistake is just that it's a mistake. So do a retake. Speaker 1 I love it. I like that, I like that. Never heard. Speaker 2 Just do a mistake. Yeah, it's just a mistake. So just do a retake. I love it. Speaker 3 And also what I'm finding is a bit of an issue is when you're tasting it, but the family and the people around you, it's you're stepping into a new world and not everyone's tasting the same taste as you are. And and it's a little difficult when you have older children. And again, you said don't go extreme. So again, it's like when you taste it, be a role model for what tastes, what feels beautiful. And then there's a a joining in parts and a not joining in parts. So you do have to make decisions as to how to not disconnect from what's full point. Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what excellent point you make. And I, I think that part of the growth and the taste comes with the capacity to have room for everybody else's experience because it is, it is, it's, you know, when you, you see, when you see truth and other people are still struggling and holding on to darkness and gripping onto old narratives. It, it's very painful until, until you recognize and realize that like you actually have more capacity to be with them and their experience and present, you know, just sit side by side with them while they, while they shed those layers. Yes. Speaker 2 That's where the word compassion comes in. And you know when you, when you're the oneness is there. You don't even have to make choices. They just happen. They just happen. Speaker 1 Excellent point. Like we said, when we're a channel, when we're a Clear Channel, these things happen. Engaging the World with a Clear, Unified Channel If, if you're making choices, you're still trying to control, you're still trying to figure it out, it still has the animal soul involved. But when you just are, you're light. Light is lights, more light. It doesn't need it just is. And then it's just fashionably available, you know? Speaker 1 We we're still, we're still choosing, but it doesn't feel we still have to make choices, but it doesn't feel there's no constriction. There's No Fear, right? When we're choosing out of fear, it feels like I have to make a choice. We still have to choose, right? You still, we still everyday we're, we're, we're choosing to go Tanako to give Tanaka to be, you know, right, But it doesn't feel it's not loaded. It's not loaded. You're, you're, you're, you're channelling and it, it feels, it feels easy. Speaker 3 So like you said, Gem is saying open for me and opening like the size of a needle and I will open for you, you know, the entrance Great Hall. So it's like, OK, well, I'm not really choosing anymore because you're, you noticed and and you're sending me all these things and the Great Hall is opening. So I'm choosing much less. That's what. Speaker 2 Comes. I'll tell you what though, once you get a taste of it, you just want to hang out with Hashem you. Speaker 1 Have to come back 'cause that's the whole, that's the residential, the Tadic, which is it's important. Glad you said that. The tad, the gum or doesn't actually run off. He doesn't escape. There's no escape. If you're escaping, you're already left the level of the Tadic, the Tadic, he's so integrated in this world that he can be present to whatever's here and it's not he doesn't have to make choices. He's already it's like, you know, like you chess and you're on the other side of the board and now you can you can move in any direction. When you come back, there's like he anything he chooses, anything he does, anything he engages with, he's channelling. And, and so that's why I said. Speaker 2 Before it's not a choice 'cause once you're the oneness just creates. Speaker 1 It just yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 It just invites. It just makes space. Speaker 1 So we're very engaged. Just just to give clarity, we're very, very engaged in the parts of life, the Tadek Gomor, especially to him, there's zero escape 0 escaping from, from, from the worldly things. You know, actually, I, I read a story, I'll, I'll share a story and then I'm going to hang up. But a story that I read in the Steinfeld Tanya, it was talking about a Tadik that was ill and he, he sent a message to, to the rabbit. I don't know which rabbit it was a Hasidic rabbit said for guidance, like what should he do? He was, he wasn't well. And the rabbit told him that he should eat a, a large amount of dairy foods, a large quantity of dairy foods. And that will be his that will bring healing. And the explanation given was that this topic had had refrained from any milk products. I guess he was like innocent. I don't know if it was like as a parish of somebody who was abstaining from engaging with those pleasures. And it's so the the milk came through the heavenly court and complained. He said this topic didn't elevate me. The topic has given gave nothing of himself to refine me. He and so the, the Rabba's message to him was eat these products and your healing will come because these, these there was a complaint against you in the heavenly court. So again, just I'm, I'm sharing that story just to emphasize that the the the topic Amor is completely engaged in this world. But because every part of his animal soul has been elevated and transformed, anything he touches and engages with is for the service of of a higher a higher purpose. We'll end our thoughts there, ladies. That's true. One second. Speaker 3 Say what's ratson vashuv for one second ratso. Speaker 1 Vashuv sure kind of hinted at it before. Ratso is this thirst, this journey, this pull to just connect is coming back to knowing that that entire purpose of being in connection was so that I could come back here and engage in the mitzvah and in the daily life to run off into a, you know, to sit in the forest and just pray and all day. That's this experience of Rutzo like the soul just wants to bond with God. It wants to do nothing else. It doesn't want to be busy with the day-to-day. But shove is the knowing that like that's why I'm here. The whole reason we came into this world is so that the soul could engage with the day-to-day. Thank. Speaker 3 You. Speaker 1 In the service of. Speaker 2 For the pleasures of life, that's the third way goes on. Speaker 1 Yes.