Tanya Chapter 15

Honoring Family: Sponsorship and Special Occasions So actually today's today's class is sponsored by Esther Hech, my sister. Thank you Esther for two wonderful occasions. Last week was our our grandmother's yard site. Pessia Basavaram was her second yard site. She lived, she lived 100 years old and we just commemorated her second yard site and and her great grandchild. So wedding is tomorrow. So Esther also sponsored in honor of the wedding tomorrow, God willing of our shamdo to Haya Hanoka. So that's also very special. Actually, I think it was Haya's family sponsored by their engagement a few months ago. So it's very exciting to honor to dedicate our learning in honor of this couple again. Chapter 15: Beyond Comfort Zones with Divine Love So actually this this chapter, I'm going to start at the end. I'm going to begin at the end because the Alto Rebbe at this point is about to ask us to step out of our comfort. Speaker 1 Zone and before we understand what he's asking of us, I think we need to 1st understand the spirit in which He's asking it. Speaker 2 The posture that he that that we should have the energy underneath our striving for growth. Because until now, what we've been talking was about the Benini as someone who has achieved mastery over their thought, over their speech, over their action. Their impulses on the left side of the heart might still be there. There's impulses towards survival, towards safety, towards control, towards pleasure. But the Benini no longer allows any of that to determine his behavior. Speaker 1 Again, I use the he as a just as a general way of speaking, but of course I'm talking to a bunch of she's over here, so excuse me for doing that. It just steadily comes out that way. Speaker 2 So the Ben and he has learned to move away from impulse, pivot towards alignment, and her choices reflect her values, her truth, her godly soul every single time. And over time, what typically might happen is that what once took tremendous effort could now become second nature. So the reactions at once completely threw us off. They no longer do because we have trained ourselves, God willing, hopefully, and including all of us here to respond differently. So you would think, great, that's the goal. I've done the work and now the altar of it comes along in chapter 15 and says, not quite. He tells us that there's actually two kinds of abedini. There's the one who's called the Ivadelaqim, the one who's actively serving God, and then there's the Asherleh Abadai, the one who's not actively serving, serving God, the one who's doing the work, and the one who's not doing the work. Now to be clear, obviously the one who's called not doing the work, it does not mean this beanany is failing. It means that he it. It doesn't mean sorry that he he's doing anything wrong. His behaviors are still perfectly aligned. Thoughts, speech and action perfectly aligned with his godly soul. He may be living exactly the way that we have spent the last several chapters describing. The difference is that this dignity is no longer working to push past his nature. What once took a lot of effort is now second nature. And so now the outreb is coming to ask, once your growth has become your comfort zone, are you willing to go beyond that? The outreb is going to tell us that the Avaida, the work, doing the work means that we are continuously moving beyond our nature, even when that nature is something that we may have worked incredibly hard to develop. Now, I could almost hear some of the reactions here. If, if you know from the beginning of the Tanya, we talked a lot about how you know, unfortunately, sometimes many of us have learnt the Tanya through through a trauma lens, through our survival classes, through through the lens of the animal soul. And if you're reading the Tanya through that lens, through that perception, then you might hear what's coming up in chapter 15. And you might, you know, ask like seriously, is it not enough that I don't act on every impulse? Is it not enough that I've learned to regular regulate myself? I've learned to choose my thoughts, my words, my actions. I've learned to align fully with my godly soul. Now the altarb is coming and telling me once that becomes comfortable, I want you to push yourself even more. And and, and you might be like, seriously, is that isn't it enough? Which is why I want to begin the end, the beginning of this class. I want to talk about the end of the chapter because otherwise we hear this entire chapter through the voice of an inner critic. The inner critic that says more, do more. You're still not enough. Don't get comfortable, push harder. And obviously this is not the tone of the altar of his words at the end of the chapter. The altar of it tells us what makes this effort and work possible. It's love when you develop your love for God, when you contemplate the greatness of God, when you contemplate the relationship that you have with God, when you allow godly truth to become so real that it becomes the deepest truth to which you understand yourself, it becomes the deepest truth to which you understand life. Because when godly truth is a truth you're living from, then of course I want to keep expanding. Of course I want to know, what else can I grow? Where else am I still being limited by natural reactions? Where else can I become more available to my godly soul? Growth, dear. From that lens, growth isn't a punishment. It's not a weed on my shoulders. It's the natural movement of a relationship that I love. When I arouse that love in my heart, then the natural consequence is that of course I don't want to be living simply as a human animal. Of course I don't want to be simply doing what is comfortable to my animal soul. I want to steadily be expanding myself to be an expression of my godly soul. And I think that this becomes even deeper when we look, we look at something like the rabbit point said about why the Benini needs to continue pushing himself, because there literally is there. There's potential danger. When you reach a plateau, you know, you climb, you climb, you climb, and then you come to a plateau and you stay in that same level for a very, very long time. And, and this is an idea that the Reba shirs here. And I'm obviously paraphrasing in my own words. You know, let's say that I've done a lot of work on myself and I've learned new responses and I've developed healthier patterns. And things that once triggered me don't trigger me in the same way anymore. So eventually I become very good at being the person I am within the life that I've now become accustomed to living. But that doesn't necessarily tell us what would happen if life took us out of that range. Imagine someone who spent two years learning how to regulate herself in in relationships. She used to become incredibly defensive whenever, let's say her husband, OK, let's say her husband criticizes her. She used to get very defensive. Maybe she would lash out or shut down or immediately need to prove that she's right. Everybody reacts a little differently. Everyone else's defensive mechanisms come on differently. So this, this person has done the work. Now she feels that defensiveness arise, but she doesn't act from it. She could pause, she could listen, she could stay present. She could tolerate the discomfort of being misunderstood without immediately trying to control the other person's perception of her. This is real growth. This is absolute real, real growth. But let's see. The conflict that she learned how to navigate all existed within a certain range. And then one day, this is what happens in life. One day something happens that's beyond that range. Something's a little bit more extreme. God forbid A betrayal or a financial loss or a child that's struggling. Something that she she thought was secure suddenly isn't anymore. And suddenly your nervous system is not able to to go beyond that level of uncertainty that she has so long been practice, she's practice holding it for so long. But this is beyond that. So now what happens? All of the old survival patterns and survival responses come rushing back again. Not because the work that she did wasn't real, it it was, it absolutely was, but she developed this capacity to remain grounded within, in a very particular range within a certain window of tolerance. But that capacity has to keep expanding. If I only ever practice staying grounded inside of a window that is already comfortable for me, then I don't actually know know what is going to happen when life pushes me outside of that window. In the most simple terms, we're talking about our comfort zone versus something outside of our comfort zone. If I know how to engage and speak and be social within the people that I'm familiar with versus when I suddenly have to do it outside of my usual comfort zone. And, and I really think that this, this connects to something we've talked about. We've talked about this in recent chapters. We talked a lot about, you know, what is Classicus approach to to challenge, What's the Rebbe's approach? The Rebbe's perspective on challenge that challenges themselves are obviously opportunities for growth. Speaker 1 Or I I. Speaker 2 Shouldn't say, obviously challenges could be very tricky, but if our, our eyes remain open and if it we are conscious and aware, they potentially are huge growth opportunities. If we're awake to that. And and we talked about how sometimes God challenges us precisely in those places where we've become overly dependent on a particular form of safety. I'm used to this. I'm safe. So suddenly the rug gets pulled out from underneath something that we thought we needed in order. I need this in order to be OK. Suddenly the rug gets pulled out and we're forced to discover that there's a deeper place to stand. I don't have to stay on this rug. There's an even deeper holding ground that I could reach for. We're forced to develop trust. We're forced to discover their capacities inside of ourselves that we didn't even know we had. And I had then I had given the examples of an, of, of an employee versus an entrepreneur. And I, I'm bringing that back here because this really, really speaks to, speaks to this idea of the Benini who has to steadily push himself outside of the comfort zone. We think about an employee who goes to work every single day from 9:00 to 5:00. He does his job, he gets his paycheck every two weeks, the same exact amount lands in his bank. There's absolute predictability. There's a certain kind of safety. There's knowing I do this and this is what's going to happen. Then you look at the entrepreneur by contrast, and there there absolutely isn't that same level of predictability. One month is great, the next month isn't. A client might back out, an expense comes up that wasn't expected. The bank calls the loan that needs to that that we had for longer now needs to be repaid. Something that was supposed to work doesn't end up working. And every single time the entrepreneur has to figure it out. So what's happening to him psychologically? He's constantly practicing uncertainty. He's practicing flexibility. He's practicing problem solving. He's practicing the capacity to feel fear that comes when we don't know exactly what's going to happen, how things are going to work out, and still to move forward. And obviously, more deeply, he's practicing trust. He's trusting in himself. He's trusting in the process. Ultimately, he's trusting in God. He's continually discovering. I don't actually need to know exactly how this is going to work out in order to be OK. I can take the next step without having the whole picture. So if a crisis comes, we're not meeting uncertainty for the first time. He's been practicing this every single day. Whereas the employee might have a tremendous amount of, you know, internal strength, but his entire life existed inside of a very predictable structure. And then suddenly the structure disappears. I don't know whether he loses the job or the company closes or the paycheck stops or whatever it is. He suddenly discovers that he has no idea how to respond when the structure that made him feel safe is gone. And this is the point here. I'm using this as an as as an analogy for what emotional and spiritual growth has to look like. The analogy. Obviously the analogy itself speaks to the message, but it could be applied to all kind of inner work. The point is that one person in this example has been repeatedly exercising a, a particular muscle. He knows what it feels like to be outside, what's predictable and to still be able to stand straight. And I think actually that this is this is what the this is what the rebel was explaining about. What's the idea of the I did. This is, by the way, a commentary of the rebel on on the section of Natanya, the one who has to do the work, the Ivan Hashem, the Ivan, like him, it's he was called, the rabbit tells us. Don't wait for an an enormous challenge in order to discover whether you should you could remain connected to your truth. If you're going to be forced out of a familiar range. The rabbit says don't wait for the challenge. You keep pushing yourself voluntarily sign up for things that are. Speaker 1 Outside of your comfort zone. Speaker 2 You move your muscles steadily every single day. Push yourself beyond what you're comfortable to. Because if I continually expand my capacity, then God doesn't need to keep pulling the rug out from underneath me in order for me to discover that I could stand without it. God is not trying to punish us ever. Those tests are never, ever a punishment. He's only trying to teach us. So if we volunteer ourselves to those lessons, then they won't have to show up in, in an abrupt fashion. And this is exactly, you know, I, I think of this, this is the idea of Shilkas from my perception to me, this is shilkhas of, you know, of course, the purpose of, of shilkhas is, is that to reach another Jew, right? The rabbit wanted every Jew wherever he lived to have access to, to Tyra, to mitzvahs, to community, to a Jewish experience. But think about what the life of Shilkhas does for the Shila himself, for the Shila herself. The rabbit took young couples and what does he do? He encourages them to choose a life in which they are steadily going to have to stretch themselves beyond their comfort zone. You may not naturally see yourself as a leader, but now you're going to be asked to lead. You may not be a teacher, but now you're going to have to teach. You may not know to do public speaking, but now you're going to have to get up and speak. You may know nothing about fundraising or construction or counseling or running an organization, but somehow over the years you are going to find yourselves doing all of that. You're going to show up at the hospital and you're going to show up at a Shiva house, and you're going to go sit with somebody in a crisis and you're going to be asked questions that you didn't know you had answers to. And you're going to have to represent Judaism in in situations that you've never encountered before. You're going to have an idea that actually feels way bigger than your current capacity. And then you're going to have to figure out how to make it happen. And then just when you become comfortable with all that you have now come to do, something new is going to be asked of you. That's the life of Shuhas. You're continually being pulled beyond the boundaries of who you already know yourself to be. And I think there's something very deliberate about that because every single time I move beyond what comes naturally to me, I'm forced to reach somewhere deeper. I can't rely on the version of myself that I already know. I have to develop a new capacity, I have to access new strength, and ultimately, I have to learn, and I have to become deeply aware that I'm not doing any of this alone. Now, over time, something that once felt completely outside of my comfort zone, it's now normal, right? Like those examples I gave you for the first class is terrifying. And now I teach every week. The first fundraiser is impossible. Now I know how to do it. The first crisis feels completely beyond me, and now I know how to show up. Our capacity keeps expanding. And then again, life asks us to stretch it even further. So in that sense, the idea of shukhas, it literally creates the life of an Aida de like him, a life where I'm not only living from the nature that I've developed, but I'm continually being invited to move beyond it. Now we're, we're continually invited, not because again, I'm Sam emphasizing this, not because where I am isn't good enough, but because I was never meant to stop discovering what else, what else is my godly soul capable of? Now again, Shilpas is just one example of this. The author is speaking to every single one of us. He's speaking to every single Jew, but he's asking us, where have you become comfortable? Where has yesterday's growth become today's nature? And now where are you being invited to stretch yourself a little bit further? Now I, I want to emphasize this because the word stretch, it sounds very cliche. It sounds like very cliche. And we're not simply, we're not being asked to stretch. We're literally being asked to ground ourselves deeper and deeper into who we are, who is your truth so that we are steadily living a life that's an actual expression of our soul's potential and not like a stunted yet, you know, now it's comfortable. It's a stunted yet comfortable version of ourselves. Again, not because there's something wrong where we are today, the exact opposite. I built this capacity and now I have to build the next one. So This is why, This is why I wanted. This is just an introduction by the way. This is why I wanted to begin this chapter with the ending. Because if we don't understand the love underneath it, Chapter 15 could turn into another impossible standard. Never rest, never be satisfied, always push harder. But. Speaker 1 That's not the energy, the altar of it. Speaker 2 Ends by saying work on loving God. Contemplate the greatness of God. Contemplate the incredible reality that you, a finite human being, have a relationship with this God, and allow that awareness to become real enough that it'll weaken something inside of you. And then the movement beyond your nature begins to come from a desire. Of course I want to keep growing. Of course I want to keep expanding my capacity to meet life without immediately collapsing back into survival and safety and control. Of course, I want to keep discovering we're my godly soul can lead me beyond the boundaries of what my animal consciousness believes is possible. Again, the goal here is that we don't want to be living according to the natural programming of the human animal. We have a godly soul. We have a relationship with the King of kings. And if that relationship is real to me, if I love God, then I don't experience this chapter as God saying you're still not enough. I experience this as as an open invitation. You've come this far. Look how much more is available to you. And from that place we're going to go into the beginning of Chapter 15 and understand what is it that the Altaraba is distinguishing between the two different types of Abenani. What is the Ivide Aliqim and the Abenani who's the one who's not doing the work? Defining Benini: Habit vs. Active Divine Service So we're going to actually go right now into the words of the time. I'm just starting with the very beginning of this chapter. The altar of it quotes the Gemara on a of the Gemara has a verse that says and you will return or the Gemara quotes a verse and you will return and see the difference between the righteous and the wicked between he who serves God and he who does not serve God. Now, right when you read this this puzzle, it seems there's a the question that comes up is it seems repetitive. The righteous seems to be the one who serves God and the wicked seems to be the one who doesn't serve God. So why repeat? So the Algravic tells us here, no, we're talking about four different categories, not 2 categories. And repeating, we're talking about four different categories. There's the righteous, there's the wicked, and then there's a bean in the in between who gets divided into two types. And again, we've already explained that one bean in the is the one who's called the ividevidevidevide, the one who serves God. The other one is called Ashurlayevidai, the one who does not serve him, the one who's not actively in service. And I, I already explained this, but I'll repeat quickly. The one who does not serve doesn't mean that this Benini isn't living the way he should be living. He still has complete mastery over his behaviors, over all of his thoughts of each in action. The distinction is whether he's currently doing the work to move beyond his nature. And, and there's something very precise in the language here. The Benini is called IVA de la Kim. Ived is present tense, steadily working. He's in the work. He's actively waging the battle. His animal soul again, still active, still still pulsing with with with survival impulses. And he is, he's going. He has his ongoing process of meeting that nature and rising above him. Chapter 15 adds here. That even when the healthy response itself becomes natural, the ivid continues to find a place where effort is still going to be required. The tardic on the other end is called evid Hashem, right? You hear the difference? Ivid alaikum and evid Hashem, a servant of God, present tense. He's already achieved. It's like a noun. It's not a verb for the tardic. Because again, because the tardic already accomplished this work, the transformation already took place. The battle that defines the Bainini, his daily Aveda, is no longer his battle. The animal soul for the Tadik has already been transformed. But I just want to highlight something here that the fact that specifically the Banani gets his title Ayveda like him, again, it's just a reminder to us. It's another proof that the Banani struggle is not a failure. It's not evidence that he hasn't yet arrived. The Bananese title, the the whole entire identity of a Banani is that he's in the work. He's doing the work. The struggle is the Aveda and this again, this helps us understand who the Altaraba means when he's describing the other Benini, the one who's Loyabadi, the one who's not presently doing the work. Again, this can be a person whose life is completely aligned, but the issue is that it comes easy to him already. It's it's either could be simply his nature. For example, Altaraba describes somebody who who by temperament, he's a he's a student. He loves to study. His animal soul doesn't fight him in any way He doesn't have to. He's not, you know, there isn't something pulling him outside of the Bass Madras. He wants to sit down and study and learn. He doesn't have to drag away drag himself away from watching a sports game. He's always eager and happy to open a safer. He wants to open the book. Learning comes naturally to him. So Alderaba says this could be that type of Lai about that. He's not doing the work. It's easy. Serving God is is an easy job for him. And also this not just this isn't just about studying. This isn't all temperaments. He doesn't have any pull towards any other kinds of physical or sexual pleasures or worldly pleasures. He's not constantly having to exert mastery over those desires, quite simply because those desires don't have much of a hold on him. His animal soul is not presenting A tremendous amount of resistance. So he could be he hasn't transformed it. He's not a Tadic. He's just like, it's easy going for him. So it's either that kind of abeni or or it could be talking about somebody who it and this connects to everything we've talking we've been talking about in the introduction is that maybe this wasn't his original nature. This could be a person who did have to do an incredible amount of work at one point. There were years of pushing past old patterns, years of choosing differently, or years of training himself to respond to his godly soul rather than following his impulses. But he's done it for so long now that eventually that new behavior is his. It became habit, and now it's his second nature. So whether this was his nature from the beginning or whether it became his second nature through years of work, the point is the same. Right now, his nature is no longer resisting him. And that's where the author Rabbit calls this person Laia Badai. Not because he isn't serving God with his entire life and certainly, you know, not because he's doing something wrong, but because at this moment he doesn't have to push himself outside of his comfort zone. And this explains this explains what we're going to go on to the next part where the chapter where the altar have explained to us in the Gemara, they call the Ivy like him, the one who serves God. And and any of you who've learned Tanya before are going to be familiar with this. He's the person who studies his his he his regular studies, his regular routines. He pushes himself to 101 times, whereas the person who, the person who's not serving God, he's the one who only does it 100 times. You get that you're not doing the work. You follow your routine to #100 you are doing the work you have been put. That means you pushed yourself to 100 on one. Now this sounds a little absurd, obviously, right? A person who reviews 100 times, we're calling him someone who doesn't do the work. And all you have to add is one extra and and it changes your entire designation. But what the author of his explaining here, what explains in the Gemara, is that back in the day, it was natural. This was the norm. You studied whatever you were studying, you learned it 100 and 100 times. That was normal. That was the routine that was expected. It was customary. That's what people have become accustomed to do. So the difference between 100 and 101, it's not the extra review. It's about what is this 101 represent the 1st 100 is a cut is what you're naturally do. It's what you become accustomed to the 101st time that pushed you to go beyond yourself. And and the rabbit actually emphasizes something a deeper point there, he says. The difference between the IVA that I came and the Liabadi, It's not only in the 101st repetition. It's not, oh, finally you get to one O 1 and that's where you earn your title, he says. When you're in that state, when you're when that's the energy under the work you do, when you approach your learning with the intention of pushing yourself beyond your nature, then every single one of the 1st 100 falls into that category. It feels different. There's a different energy underneath your efforts. You're no longer simply repeating 100 because that's what you always do, because that's your routine. Everything you do, your entire learning, is now infused. Speaker 1 With that effort, somebody has their their mic on if you want to just mute yourself. Speaker 2 His entire learning now has that energy of of undoing the work. I'm doing this with intention to push myself beyond what's comfortable to me. So again, the real distinction is not 100 versus 100 O1. It's habit versus Avaida, the habit versus doing the work. Two people could be doing the exact same thing, even the first 100 repetitions, but the inner quality of what we're doing is entirely different. One is moving along the path of what's comfortable, what I become accustomed to, what's normal, what's expected, what's my routine, default mode setting. The other person is actively moving to push themselves beyond it. And, and to illustrate just how significant it is to move even slightly beyond what's natural, the alt rabbit continues with the analogy that the Gemara brings about a donkey driver. Again, this is back in the day in order to say why 101 is that extra mile, why it's that you know where it changes your entire designation, where it changes your entire the way you're you're viewed is he says that the standard routine for a donkey driver was to go 10 parsa, let's call it 10 miles. So you charge your regular fee within 10 miles. But if you ask that same rider, that same donkey, to travel 11 miles, one extra mile instead of the 1st 10, one extra mile and the price is doubled again. Not because that extra mile is such an enormous distance, all it is is one extra mile over the usual, but because now you're asking the donkey to go beyond what it's accustomed to. The effort is worth double the price. And that's what it means. The 101st time. The significance is not about how much you're doing, it's that your entire posture, your entire energy is that you're stretching yourself. You're pushing beyond what's natural, beyond what your animal soul is programmed to do. And you're standing in truth. You're, you're, you're exerting so that you can find your deeper truth. And, and the rib actually pulls a little bit of a deeper analogy here. He points out that it's not by accident that we're talking, that this analogy is specifically a donkey. Those of us who are familiar with with Jacidas, you're probably familiar with the with the Balshemtov's teaching around the donkey. You know, the mitzvah about if you see your enemy's donkey collapse under its load, you should go and help him, right? And now there the author ever gives a whole teaching. I mean, sorry, the Balshemto gives a whole teaching when he says Hamar. Hamar is translated as donkey, but read it as Heimer, your Mundine, your body, your animal soul. When you see how your animal soul is weighted, it's heavy, it's burdened. Don't just push it aside. Don't repress it. Don't just ignore your life existence and and all you're trying to do is be a holy person. He says, no, Azif Kazevima, you have to go and assist. You have to do the work so that your animal soul comes on board. You have to do the work so that you're training your survival instincts to to to appreciate this lifestyle of being aligned with with the godly choices. So the rabbit says here again, you see this example of the donkey. He says it's not accidental, but the analogy here is on a donkey. We're talking about again our animal soul are Kaimer. The person travelling with a donkey doesn't own the donkey in in the Talmud's analogy. He doesn't own it. He's hiring it for the journey. So the author of it tells us, look, this is the work of the Binani. You don't own your donkey and you don't have to feel bad. You don't own your animal soul. It doesn't you do you have not fully transformed it. That's the work of the Tadek. The Binani's primary avaida is escafia. The animal instinct is still there, but I don't follow it where it naturally wants to take me. I could subdue that impulse. I could redirect myself. I could choose differently. In the analogy, I don't own the donkey. I haven't transformed it. It's not something that's completely mine, and it naturally wants to go where I want to go. It's still a donkey. It's still an animal soul that's pumping all these impulses of survival and safety into me. But as a beanie, I recognize and I realize and I feel empowered to, to hire it for this job, I can still push it in the direction that I need it to go. And how simply by being an Ivadela Kim, by pushing myself beyond my nature, the fact that I don't own it is me or I become an Ivadela Kim because I'm steadily pushing it to do something that it doesn't want to do, but I know I want to do. It's in service of my truth. It's, it's a very important point and point because sometimes we imagine that our spiritual work and that our, you know, we've evolved. That means that we've transformed ourselves. The desire disappears, the impulse disappears, the struggle disappears. And now my animal soul is naturally going to want everything that the godly soul wants. But the altar up is reminding us here you don't have. You could still have the same animal soul. You could still have the same impulses. You could still feel yourself pulled towards what's comfortable and what's familiar. But when you take that nature one step beyond where it would naturally go by simple escapia, by not allowing that impulse to determine the direction. Speaker 1 You're called an Ivad aliqim. You're a servant of God. You're doing the work. One more little beautiful pointer that this from Rablev Yitzhak from the rabbit's father. Speaker 2 The rabbit's father does a lot of commentary on like the the words and the play on words and the rabbit. The rabbit's father emphasizes here. He says, you know, notice that when the tadek is called evet Hashem, it focuses on Hashem's name evet Hashem. The binani is evet is evet Alaikim. It's a different name of Hashem and the name Alaikim is the one of Vura. The name Eliquim is 1 of concealment and that's. Speaker 1 What the the the? Speaker 2 Bhinanese working with that energy, if he's working with the energy of Gura, of restraint, the energy that's associated with limitations, with concealment. And remember, Liviazuk explains that this is the work of the Bhinani that either eliquim that he's working with those gurus, but he is the rectifying them. He's sweetening them Montikenes Edguras. He's sweetening the the the the the restrictions. He's softening the restrictions. He's taking somewhere where there was initially an energy of restraint and contraction and limitation and the bean and knee softening it and redirecting it, which would brings us back right to to the heart of this chapter. The Ivan and Ikim isn't necessarily. Speaker 1 And again, I feel like I emphasize this every single chapter of the Binani, but I feel like it's important because I meet this, I meet this in myself. I meet this in every single woman that I work with, this frustrating, this voice of frustration, like this inner critic that says, come on, why are you still looping here? And the altar of again, emphasizing this idea that the Binani is not the person who has evolved past their animal soul. They keep meeting their limitations, but he also keeps stretching beyond them. Finding Your '101' Beyond Natural Talents Now I I actually want to conclude this with something that the altar of it teaches. I actually I should end the chapter also where the altar of it comes and tells us how. How can you push yourself to do this work? Because it is hard to. Speaker 1 Steadily, you know, especially to those of you who came on a little bit late, I started the end of this. Sorry. I began this chapter with the ending. The altar of it was emphasizing that you could do this work when you develop a loving relationship with God. So he ends this chapter by reminding us to take time in developing this relationship, something we've talked a lot about through dominating, through contemplating God's greatness and the glory of the world and the fact that this same God wants a relationship with us. Speaker 2 Because it's one. Once you feel that your your strive, you strive. Speaker 1 Towards growing, it doesn't feel like a burden, it feels like this is the only way that I can be living in my truth. But I I want to conclude with one other thought. It was something that the altar of A teaches in another. It was in the Maimari Atmar Azakim. There's a compilation of maimaram of the altar of A where he. Speaker 2 References this idea of the Ayda aliking the one who serves God. But before I share what the altar of a was teaching, I first have to give you the story that he's referencing. He was referencing the story in the. Speaker 1 Gemara And it was This is brand new to me. It was not something I was familiar with. I happened to teach Kurdish society classes here for the ladies in my community. Speaker 2 And I came. Speaker 1 Across this there and it was exciting to me because it it fits right into what we're we're learning here. So I have a lot of gratitude for them bringing it to my attention. So again, I'm going to share this story from the Gemara historical. Speaker 2 Context This takes place during in Israel during 2nd century during a very dark period for the Jewish people. This the Romans were. It was. Speaker 1 I think it was even after the base of English was destroyed if I'm not mistaken. Speaker 2 But either way, brutally suppressing Jewish life or Torah study forbidden. Teaching Torah publicly could literally cost you your life. Now this is the. Speaker 1 Background for our story about Rabbi Khanina bin Tridayan. He used to gather people. He was not afraid. He used to gather people. He used to teach publicly. Speaker 2 And at one point. Speaker 1 A fellow, A fellow Atana. I don't even know what they were called at that time. I'm sorry, this is not my my field of expertise. But Rabias even Kisma became ill, and Rabi Kanina goes and visits him. Speaker 2 And he's visits he, he visits Rabiosi, and Rabiosi challenges him. And he says, what are you doing? He's like, look what's happening. Speaker 1 Around you, the Romans are in power. They've destroyed the base of Mingos, they've killed our people. This is quoting, by the way, my my own translation from the Gemara. He says they've their decrees are still in force. Speaker 2 But you're gathering people publicly, and you're teaching Tara with the Torah scroll on your lap. You're putting your life in danger. So Rabi Kanina responds very simply. He says, heaven will have mercy on me. But Rabiosi wasn't satisfied with his answer. And he said to him, I'm giving you a very practical warning and you're telling me that heaven's going to have mercy. And he's like he warns. And he says, I won't be surprised if they burn you together with with the Torah squirrel. So Rabi Khanina asks him, He says, how do I stand with regard to Ilam Hava? He wants to know. And Rabiosi asks him in order to find out. He asks him. He says have you done any particular deed recently? Saraba Khanina answers him. He says he remembers that recently he was in charge of a igmach a a charitable fund and he accidentally mixed his money into the gamache and he had given out his own money to the poor and he never reimbursed himself for it. He let his own money go to the stucca. So when Rabiesi hears this, he says, ah, if so, may my portion and island Mahaba be with your portion? This is the story that the Gamara shears. And now there's an obvious question. Here we have a story about Rabbi Khanino literally risking his life to teach Tara. He's publicly defying the Roman government knowing that it could risk his life, he could be killed for it. So he is demonstrating extraordinary courage, literally self sacrifice for Tara. And yet he was unsure. Like, where's my lot in the world to come? Like, what's what's my story there? Where do I stand? And even more strangely is that Rabiosi doesn't know. He can't. He he's unable to answer him based on the fact that he's teaching Tara, he isn't able to reassure him. It's only once he hears A seemingly much, you know, much smaller story about his stucco money then he knows. He says. Ah, if so. Speaker 1 I want my portion with yours. Why? So this is where La Altroba gives us a very incredible reading of this story, based on this idea that we're teaching about Ivan and Alaya Badai. Speaker 2 Rabi Chanina wonders, Is my devotion to Tara Sorry, Rabi. Yeah, he wonders. Like it could be. It's not a big deal that I'm doing this. I'm risking my life. But perhaps it's connected to my natural temperament. Maybe learning comes natural to him. Maybe teaching comes natural to him. Maybe this is simply who he is. And if so, as extraordinary as his self sacrifices. And it was, it was obviously an extraordinary mitzvah. He's risking his life for Tara, but he's he's questioning himself. If this is part of my natural temperament, maybe I'm not even an Iveda like him. Maybe I haven't actually be gone beyond what comes naturally to me. So when Rubiosi though asks him what else have you done recently? And he's easily able to tell him, I gave a tremendous amount of stucco and I let it go. When Rubiosi heard this, he was able to know something about his natural temperament. He when he tells him about this stucco Rubiosi understood something. Nadravi explains us that being a student, being a a studious person and being somebody who generously gets stuck at their two opposite temperaments, they emerge from very different personality types. He describes a person who's naturally deeply inclined to study as someone who he calls a maharshayra, someone who is much more of a melancholy temperament, someone much more serious. That nature is someone who tends towards inwardness. It's somebody who who expresses himself financially in a much more withholding way, more careful with one knee, maybe even miserly in the altar. Speaker 1 Of his words. Speaker 2 In other words, intense studiousness tends to emerge from a personality of someone who's closed off and someone who's more withholding. But Robert Kanina's story about that stucco, It reveals to us something different about his temperament. If he accidentally gives away a ton of his own money and he doesn't even reimburse himself, he clearly has a very expansive nature. He's open hearted. He's open handed with his money. The Altarva describes him as someone who's a spendthrift. And this is diametrically opposite to the person that the Altarva is associating with studiousness. So when Rabiosi hears a story he understands clearly, he sees in that Rabi Kanina's extraordinary studiousness is opposite of his nature. It's not something he typically does, which means that again, like I said, if he was naturally someone with expansiveness, then becoming this intensely devoted as a as a scholar, somebody who is capable of sitting and learning with this diligence, someone who has committed his entire life to Tara and is willing to risk his life for it, That means he developed something that was contrary. Speaker 1 To. Speaker 2 His natural disposition. He had worked on himself. He had brought forth a capacity that wasn't his default setting. And now he knows his answer. It wasn't the story that impressed. It wasn't the story of the Tstucca that that was his one O 1. That was his 101st effort. That story just revealed who he was. It revealed his nature. And when Rubiosi understood his nature, he understood that his Tyra study, his diligence, his commitment to Tyra, that was his 101. His extraordinary devotion to Tyra wasn't an expression of who he was naturally. It represented deep inner work. He moved beyond his natural temperament and and he did something much more extra, something beyond what he was given naturally. And that's when Rubiosi says, if that's the case, I want my portion to be with your portion. And I think this is a very, very powerful way to end this chapter because for all of us, there are things that come naturally to us. We all have talents, thank God. We have strengths. We have personality strengths that that make it, you know, certain forms of giving, they feel more effortless to us. Speaker 1 Maybe you're naturally generous. Maybe you're naturally disciplined. Maybe you're warm and nurturing. Maybe you're an incredible host. Maybe you're a natural. Speaker 2 Intellect. And you could like, use love to study. Maybe speaking in front of a room doesn't scare you at all. Maybe you're naturally organized or responsible or patient or creative or driven or whatever it is when we have those gifts and when we use those gifts, it's beautiful, it's meaningful. Those are God-given strengths that we were given. We're supposed to use them. They are the gifts that we receive to channel into the world. But chapter 15 is is asking us to focus on something else. Chapter 15 is about where is your work? Where's your arvaida? Our deepest inner work is found in places where not where I shine most easily. It might be in the small things, like a conversation that I've been trying to avoid. Or it might be learning to speak up when my natural inclination is to disappear. Or it might be learning to listen when my nature is to speak. Or it might be learning to give where I typically hold tightly, or creating boundaries when I would naturally give too much. It might be staying present with discomfort when my instinct wants to run, to fix the control to to, to make it disappear. And I think this is a very important distinction. Our gifts, the gifts that God gave us, the things that come easy, that shows us where we are meant to contribute in the world, those are the gifts we are meant to. Speaker 1 Share with others. Speaker 2 The resistance that we find internally that shows up where we are meant to grow. The gifts, the the things that come easily. Speaker 1 Those are our contributions to the world. Speaker 2 The things that come harder, those are the work that we're. Speaker 1 Meant to do. Speaker 2 Again, that which comes naturally, it matters. It's enormous. Use them, develop them, give them generously to the world, but don't confuse it. Don't confuse what comes naturally with the entirety of your Avaida. Because sometimes, again, our most important work is happening in places that nobody else notices. Someone else might look at it and think that's your big accomplishment, but you know, you know what it took to hold your tongue there. You know what it took to say no. You know what it took to say yes. You know what it took to stay open instead of protecting yourself. You know what it took to to do the thing that another person does effortlessly. And that's the whole message of this 100 versus 101. God is not measuring us by a visible distance. God is measuring the distance between your nature and your choice. For one person, 100 comes easily. For another person, getting to 10 requires everything that they have inside of them. Which actually is another point that this chapter helps us with is is it helps us look at other people differently. Also, we have no idea where someone else's 101 is. Something that looks effortless and impressive in one person, it might come absolutely naturally to them. And something that looks tiny from the outside might represent an enormous act of Aida for someone else. So the question again isn't how impressive does my look life look in compare in comparison to somebody else? The question is, where's my one O 1? Where am I being asked to move one step beyond the person I would be if I had simply followed my nature? Because that's a place where I am, not just. Speaker 1 Expressing what God gave to me, that's where I am participating with God and who I become. This is what the idyllic chemist. This is what it means to do the work. And with that I conclude. Navigating Grief with Godly and Animal Soul Perspectives Hi ladies. Hello to all of you who joined. Any questions? Speaker 2 You know what I mean? I see you here. We could jump to your question. Speaker 1 Should I read it out loud? Give me a second. I'll read it out loud for just to make sure I address all of it. Speaker 2 This is just. Speaker 1 A chat a question that had come up on the chat that I had forgotten to come back to I had thought about it by the way, I didn't forget about it. I just forgot to come back OK our. Speaker 2 Question is about grief, the component of grief that we've been touching on in the last two weeks. Can you expound on the Neshamah's narrative and the role in grieving versus the survival souls part? Do they coexist simultaneously or sorry? Or does the neshama hold the nefesh Obama's raw emotional parts in the process? For example, sadness, remorse, anger, pain would. Speaker 1 Appreciate clarity and perspective on this. OK, I'm and I'm actually. Speaker 2 Reading it a little. Speaker 1 Differently than I read last time. So I'll, I'll answer what I'm reading here and then I'll I'll at the things that I've been thinking about in this the animal soul. The animal soul grieves things that the animal soul cares about. The godly soul also has grief attached to it. The altar actually describes, and this I had seen in a mimer the altar over describes that the grief of the animal soul is feeling the distance from God and the joy of the animal soul is feeling closeness. That simple. Now it could be that when I'm struggling in life, God forbid what person, let's use hypothetical and somebody's struggling, whether it's with a, a, a, a challenge of health or a challenge with money or a challenge with, with, with relationships. Speaker 2 That is the animal soul's experience. From the godly souls perspective. It would feel completely different if the experience was like, why? Why is gollas this long? Why is the shrina having to present itself in this way? Because as the altar of it describes when my cures and when my worries and when my grief are over things like Bunny, hayu, mazzaini, just natural things, money, health, sustenance. He says that's the shrina in Gollas. That's the the godly soul is, is, is is, is, is concealed in a way that it's a view of the world, is not perceptible, is not perceived. The godly soul sees through godly lens, and it sees through godly truths, and it sees and experiences life. Speaker 1 From God's. Speaker 2 Perspective and so when it sees these kinds of things it's only grief would be why. Speaker 1 Is the shrina still in goalless? Like why? Why is life having to present itself in a way where godliness is concealed, where we experience pain? Any other form of grief is a animal soul's grief. Now the animal soul is human. We don't have to judge ourselves or criticize ourselves or shame ourselves for having human experiences. That's what symptom is symptom means that we're experiencing life. We're experiencing life through the human lens. We don't see the godly truth in this experience. And and, and, and within clust of this, there's so much of an expression, you know, Speaking of dominion, because we talk about that a lot here also the, the I'm trying to remember, I think the Baal shemto says or the Magid. No, there's an idea in in halacha or in Gemara that we, we don't, we don't dove in other than with a kaivedreich like you come into doveening with, with a heaviness, a heaviness of the head. It means. Speaker 2 Literally the literal. Speaker 1 Translation is submitting. Like you're coming into doveening, submitting, you're putting all your things aside and you're coming to dove into God the the maggot I think it is. Speaker 2 Translates this as a kaivedreich is like. Speaker 1 You know, it's that a heavy head, but you give it to God like you're coming to Davin isn't like this is my peen God, but it's yours. And whether it's something as simple as my leg hurts or whether something's in my child hurts or or or I'm struggling, give it to God. Coming to Davin with this recognition and realization that God's your partner, hand it to God. Now this requires obviously a deep level of trust to move in, to move from a space of like this is my grief and this is I'm a victim of it into giving the the you're, you're standing side by side with God and you're saying, God, this is your peen. Can you help us solve it? I don't want to see your life through the, the glasses of my animals. So I want to be able to see and perceive your truth here on a very practical. Now I, I ended up going off and giving my explanation. But now on a, on a very practical psychological therapeutic level, when we notice our animal soul having a hard time, when we notice ourselves in a state of grief, anger, resentment, jealousy, hurt, pain, when the animal soul is the only person driving the car, we are the victim of that feeling. I am angry, I am hurt, I am sad, I am grieving when the godly soul comes on. Speaker 2 Board. Speaker 1 I am now the parent. Speaker 2 Holding the part of me that's still having a really hard time seeing truth. Speaker 1 Does that make sense? This part of me that's hurting is now sitting on my lap, and I'm saying there's still a part of me that is not able to buy into the godly perspective. It's still hurting. It still reacts so intensely every time that happens or every time that person does this. But I recognize in reals, it's not me. It's not my whole truth. It's a young part of me that hasn't yet evolved. It hasn't yet gotten updated. It hasn't yet been able to buy in to my godly soul perspective. And so that it's a completely different posture. You're no longer the victim of this pain. You are the one. Speaker 2 Holding it, You're no longer the victim of this fear. You are the one holding it. Speaker 1 And you're no longer you. You have No Fear of these emotions. You're not afraid of them. You recognize and meals. I'm human and there are human parts of me. I still have an animal. So I'm not atotic. Not all of me has just been transformed. There's a part of me that's still hurting. And the idea, the ideal of the beanie is that part can grieve. I can hold it. It will not take control of my thought, my speech, or my action. I will not allow it to control this narrative and control the way I think about that person or about the situation. I will not allow myself to speak according to its narrative and I will not allow myself to act according to its narrative, but the fact. Speaker 2 That it's still. Speaker 1 Holding grief, sadness, anger, jealousy or resentment. It makes sense that part hasn't been updated. And here's the most beautiful, amazing thing is that in the process of stepping in and parenting these parts, you becoming the assertive adult, that part soft and soft and soft, and it no longer needs to control the narrative because there's no mother came home. Speaker 2 I think of these. Speaker 1 Parts as as children who have been parentified. The parentified children are trying to manage a household because the mother's out to lunch. Literally. Figuratively. Speaker 2 And so they say they have to manage. They have to keep you safe. There isn't an assertive voice inside of you. They're always scanning for danger. They're always scanning to make sure that we're going to be OK. What do I need to control? We're what's, what's unpredictable? Where do we have? Speaker 1 To check in, How do we manage those people? How do we manage our interactions with those people? Once you're home, how do you come home? Literally by tending to these parts, recognizing and realizing, oh, that's just the part of me. As you come home to tend to these parts, you are the mother. The kids can all settle down or the mother came home. I don't have to manage the story here. She's bringing with us a godly truth. She's bringing with her a different perspective, a much more mature perspective. That's borrowing, you know, that's using the lens of our godly soul that can see past this very, you know, black and white details of the story. I got an answer that yes, this, this is, this is clear, this is understood. Let me know if there's any other questions on that and if I fully covered your your the question that you initially had. Speaker 3 Yeah, thank you to the, I think that brought a lot of clarity to the question. Kind of like that, that dialogue between the Neshama and the Nefeshal Bahamas, where they are kind of they're coexisting, but the ultimate is for the Neshama to hold the parts of the animal survival instincts. Speaker 1 Absolutely. Speaker 3 And then I guess ultimately to like, lead it to a place of either surrender, slash trust or forgiveness if it's grief. Speaker 1 Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you for sure. OK, I'm just going to read this question and see if it when explaining the hand motions look like the little veness are going back and forth. OK, that that was a comment about by the way my hands were moving. Just if I understand correctly, the the the hand motions look like the little Vanessa are going back and forth to different directions. All the different emotions from the heart. Yes, and there was one other thing that popped into my mind. I was just going to say I may have shared this before and I I don't remember. I feel like it may have been something from the Samalta that who's talking about, you know, the way that we engage. Maybe I mentioned it when we were talking about my and again, I think it was from the this, this idea of of the mind of the animal soul and the godly soul. They're it's almost like. Speaker 2 They're they're they're like a partner, They're partners. They have to like be that the free to grow, I think calls them like haversas, like they're it's not there's no, you know, it's not like suppressing or pushing down or like noticing a part of you and just like, you know, shoving it out the door. We want to bring it on board these emotions, this passion, like the author of a talks about also this is a huge part of of. Speaker 1 Of of the. Speaker 2 Altar of his way of seeing this is that you know when when our our passion that the animal soul has such fire and has fire in it. It has passion and it has drive. It's a horse with horsepower when it's driven towards. Speaker 1 All of the, you know, pleasures and joys and and amazing things that the world has to offer, but it's not coming with the intention of a higher service. It's just like, I want that. I need that it feels. Speaker 2 Good it looks. Speaker 1 Amazing it you know this drive. Speaker 2 It has superpower, but it's being, it's being misdirected. The author of his whole idea is through his scafia. You tame it, you slow it down, tame the horse. Speaker 1 And then through his Hoppa, as you channel it, you're like, you're actually take that same. Once you have a relationship with God, you're able to take the horsepower of the animal soul and use it in service of your truth of your expression. Don't ever get rid of that passion. Don't ever get rid of that horsepower. You want to bring the animal soul fully on board, but it's going to 1st be teamed from its usual inclinations and only then can you come into the to the to the motion of his haka. I do use my hands a lot. They're very, they're very, they're a big part of the conversation. Channeling Unchanneled Energy and Overcoming Shame Checking in if anyone else has anything on that or anything else we discussed today. Speaker 4 Hi, Sidney. It's Brushy. Speaker 1 Hey. Speaker 4 Just as you said that which holds so much truth for me is I I wonder it's more of a statement. How much do people hold back or disconnected is more appropriate word from self because of the fear of this unbridled power of strength, passion. And it made it made me pause and think like, what are the things that get in the way Most of the time is that people are not showing up as their truest self, experiencing it in someone else, being triggered by it, because they have in themselves this unchanneled energy that didn't yet get the platform of expression. Speaker 1 I I, I'm hoping I hear you correctly or maybe my mind immediately. I think this is what I, you know, we all do. I immediately heard it in through my own frame of reference. What I do know for sure is that and this we talk. I don't know if I, oh, it was a talk that I gave very recently. It wasn't here. I felt like I, I had talked about it last week here. The the notion that all of the energy that we have can be redirected either this direct in this direction or this direction. I actually did quote this a few weeks ago talking about the Val Shemtov who said that he could have, he said, thank God I became a leader of the Jewish people because I could have become, I was meant to be a leader. I could have become the leader of a gang of thieves. This is the exact same case for every single one of our energies, our skills, our talents, our horsepower. It's either going to go in that direction in the unrectified version. That's what happens to these unchanneled, unrectified energies. That is what happened. That was Shriya Sakhalin. That's how they ended up in our in, in the horsepower of the animal soul. The idea and the goal would be to attune to this so that they it could be redirected. If we are not doing the, the, the work of Escapia is extremely important because if that energy is being directed in an inappropriate way, then it needs to be shut down. You're behaving, thinking, acting, or speaking in a way that is not in alignment with truth. It's not an expression of your truth. So it has to be tamed. But we talked, I think this was an introduction to the last class or two weeks ago. Speaker 2 The the goal would be eventually to look inward and see what is this energy here? What is this? What's the narrative? Speaker 1 That I have. Speaker 2 Around this can can this be what is like literally sensing into the feeling inside of me? Speaker 1 So that this could be redirected, we had given the example of jealousy or no, give me the example of anger. Think about jealousy also if you some very often. Again, this is a conversation I've had with so many women. There's so much shame around those feelings. Like what is wrong with me? This is actually a great example for us to use. OK, the horsepower quote UN quote of jealousy feels so shameful that people just literally just the inner critic comes in and goes, what's wrong with me? Why can't I focus on the good? Why can't I focus on all the blessings in my life? Why can't I focus on all the things that I do have? Why am I looking at that person? And then, you know what eventually happens with that level of discomfort, we end up pushing that other person down in our mind. We're like, no, there so this and there so this, and there so this. Speaker 2 Which is an easy way to me bring me back into balance. We try to either lift ourselves up, like with all the things that's good about me, or we try to push the other person down, or we try to shame ourselves for even. Speaker 1 Thinking or feeling this way, imagine being able to just sense into the literal sensation of the jealousy moving through you. Speaker 2 And I, I can speak for myself that same jealousy. Speaker 1 Become like you just recognize and realize it's a deep longing for something that you should have that you don't yet have and that you should be working towards. And then the question becomes, why don't I have that? Where's the resistance? Why am I unable to make those? I don't know. Let's say within relationships, you're jealous of the way other people could connect. So you're longing for those kinds of connections. So then it it gives you the opportunity to again, step number one is get rid of the shaming critic, judge and see what can I do with that horsepower? There's something here. My soul is longing for something, yearning for something and and doing the work literally means to figure out what is it that I that, that I'm longing for and where's the resistance? Why am I not able to reach for it? Where's my fear? What am I afraid of? Speaker 2 And so this is no. Speaker 1 Longer a narrative of what that other person is, or what is that other person is, there's no longer a narrative of shame or a narrative of I should have more gratitude. It's simply a narrative of I have a deep longing. How can I get myself there? What's the? What's the blockages in the way that I have to work through? Speaker 5 Yeah. Speaker 1 I'm just reading this comment out loud because I it feels very important. I really appreciate how you reframe the idea of do more, don't be, don't be satisfied from we reframed it from a heavy burden to a warm invitation to grow. I, I really feel like that was the theme of this chapter, which is the theme of, of, of growth and cloacidus. How many times have I heard people coming to me with this, like the rabbit had such urgency and I feel made me feel so guilty and I feel we heard if you heard the rabbit's urgency as a sign of guilt. And I've, I've done a post about this. I remember last year, I think I'm Gimel Thomas or two years ago. If you hear the rabbit's voice of urgency from your survival mechanism, then you are clearly going to hear I'm not enough. I'm not good enough. Whatever I've done till today is not good enough. And then you're burdened with the scent. I have to do more. Similarly similar with chapter 15. It's so it's such a similar message to what we're here in chapter 15. The altar of is literally telling the Banani, even if you worked for this and then this many years to get yourself out of your comfort zone and you, you pushed yourself and you pushed yourself and you'd become better and you'd become better. But now it's nature and the altar was like no push yourself more. Imagine reading that from the survival from the trauma lens. No wonder people read the Tanya and go ah but the altar was so harsh on us. Then you see the ending of the chapter and the altar of us says no. Develop a love for God. Develop a just recognize and realize you have a relationship. Speaker 2 With the king of all kings and he's inviting you to be an expression. The thing I say this, it sounds harsh, is like you're not a human animal. You're a person with a godly soul. If you get comfortable in your comfort zone, you're expressing only what comes natural to you. Speaker 1 But we have to push ourselves beyond that now. We have to. You want to push yourself beyond that. Once you recognize and realize that, like, Oh my goodness, like there's even more truth to me. There's there's. Speaker 2 The I could be standing and I could think, think about this, think about let's push, put, let's. Speaker 1 Give an example because relationally, because I think many women relate to relational examples. Imagine being in still in a state of survival in the way that you relate to your spouse or to your friend and you're still have hyper vigilance and you're always checking for safety and you're always seeing what should I say? What shouldn't I say? How do I make sure he does respond this way? How he doesn't respond this way? It is. Am I being too much of A burden? Am I being less of a burden? Should I show up this way? Should I not? Right? Who are you in that space? You're an animal soul. Imagine the capacity to just be grounded in your truth, knowing exactly who you are, knowing exactly what your value is, knowing exactly that it no matter what in the world happens, no matter how I'm responded to, I, I, I just sense my own self, my own truth. There's no narratives that start flowing through my mind of like, oh, you shouldn't have. Oh, you couldn't have. Why did you? Why didn't I just imagine living from a state of truth versus that for survival that I just described that I think is very relatable to everyone who wants to be in their animal soul when they could be living in that state of truth? Speaker 2 Now imagine. Speaker 1 Applying that to every single one of our experiences in life, either we're in a state of control, an illusion of safety, or you're just in flow. You're in flow. You're an expression of your truth. You're showing up. Speaker 2 As as just as a. Speaker 1 Godly being that you are, as the ambassador of the divine that you are. And that's what the author was he's saying to us. How do we get there? You have to keep pushing out of your comfort zone. If you keep pushing out of your summer zone, you. Speaker 2 Expand your capacity. It's that simple. Speaker 1 The more you expand your capacity, the more you are an an expression of truth versus an expression of what feels safe and comfortable. Speaker 2 To me, we become we become able to live in a state of flow more steadily, more consistently, more predictably. Speaker 1 Because we do the work of pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zone. Because we do the work of expanding beyond our capacity. So my, my, my, my encouragement today would be to pick something, something from a spiritual perspective or an emotional perspective that is challenging, that feels hard, that feels a little unsafe. And do it anyway. Expose yourself to a new experience that's more aligned with your truth and just hold. Hold the part of you that's afraid. Hold it with a lot of compassion, but do it anyway. Don't let the part that's afraid to guide your next decision. I'm going to read the comments out loud. I find it fascinating that when struggling and then we learned something that changes the entire struggle to what you just said. An invitation to grow. Just this morning I woke up and told my husband I want to cancel 2 teacher training workshops I was hired to give at the onset of the upcoming school year. I have good reason to want to cancel. He suggested I wait two days before deciding. And then I came to this class today. Amazing. I love that. OK, so you're, you're, you're staying with it, you're pushing yourself beyond what's comfortable. And that's what I understood at least. Listen, comfortable is amazing. We're comfortable. We're comfortable allows us to stagnate and hit that plateau. And like again, we started the class with this where the rabbit says you hit a plateau and you have no idea what what you're capable of, what you're practice. And this I maybe I didn't express this clear enough, but this is a very big emphasis of the rebel. This idea of choosing Mesiras Haratzan is what the rebel would call it. You don't have to have. Speaker 2 Mesiras nefesh is when you're you're at this, you're the rug was pulled out from under you, and you may need to make a choice that's aligned with truth. Speaker 1 The rabbit talks about mesiras haratzan, meaning don't wait for the rug to be pulled out from under you. Practice this through daily Mesiras Haratzan, through pushing past the will of your animal soul, the nature, the inclination, the impulse for safety that your animal soul has, and do something that's aligned with your truth. Speaker 2 Steadily every day so that God doesn't have to teach you again. It's not teaching the hard way again. It's not a punishment. It's literally like I need to grow. Speaker 1 You you can't go from kindergarten to college. You have to. Speaker 2 Go from kindergarten to 1st grade to 2nd grade to 3rd grade to 4th grade. Speaker 1 To 5th grade and then it's easy peasy. Speaker 2 Every single year growth, we expand ourselves. But if we don't pushing ourselves to explain, suddenly, suddenly college comes upon you and you're like and you freak out. So there was like, don't wait for the freak out. Don't wait, don't wait for the you don't have to wait. Put you you expand yourself. Speaker 1 And that's where I gave that example of because that was where I was saying here, I'm going to put you in a situation where daily, daily, daily, you have to push yourself outside of yourself. So again, our homework for today, I, I feel like I might be repeating myself a lot because I, I'm like trying to say it from 1001 different ways. Our homework for today is do something, push yourself, push yourself, expose yourself to something you are afraid of doing, whether it's reaching out to the person you're afraid to reach out for, whether it's whatever it is, you know, I'm, I'll give you a little example, a little analogy that popped into my head yesterday. It happens to me on my way. I was on the way. I don't know if anyone's ever done this before. It's super fun. It's like a jumpy, it's called jumpy fitness. Is that is that the word and you're attached to a jumpy cord? For some reason that word sounds weird to me. A jumpy cord? Is that a real word? Am I saying you're right? Speaker 6 Bungee. Like maybe a bungee? Speaker 1 Thank you. I'm like, what the heck? The word doesn't sound like bungee. Bungee fitness. You're attached to a bungee cord. Thank you. I knew something sounded right and very wrong at the same time. A bungee cord. And you do then that, that's the workout routine. So you're just like literally jumping, flying, running, falling. And the cord holds you up. And it's interesting because one of the movements they called a trust fall. Now, everyone here knows a trust fall isn't like you stand in the middle of a circle. And, you know, let's say you do this trust fall with other women. And it's a way of embodying the sense of like, I could fall and I'll be OK, Someone's going to catch me now. I always had an I, I always had a hard time. Speaker 2 With the trust fall, because essentially you're trusting in someone else and someone else is fallible people are it. It could be, it could be the other person that will fall back with you. It could be the other person who won't show up. Speaker 1 For you, it could be the other person who's going to be in a bad mood and they won't be able to, you know, hold you the way that you need your holding. Speaker 2 At when I when I was when they called this the trust. Speaker 1 Fall. They were essentially you were just like jumping and then just allowing yourself to completely fall to the ground and the bungee is going to catch you. And I in that moment, I was like, oh, this is a real trust fall. Speaker 2 The the idea is. Speaker 1 You're going to always, always be caught because you're connected to God or to your God, your inner God. You're the the peace of God inside of you. You have within you a a spine and an assertive knowing and a deep sense of I know who I am and I know I'll be OK. No matter how bad this experience goes, I'm going to be OK. Speaker 2 So the. Speaker 1 Trust fall Is this knowing that like I'll fall and if I fall I can get right back up. You know like I I remember 1 seeing a meme it said like it had a picture of a bird and it said a bird doesn't land on a branch. Speaker 2 Because it's it's it's. Speaker 1 Confident the branch won't break. The bird lands because it has wings and it knows the branch might break, but I'll just fly away right here that I'm that I'm expressing is that like when you're connected to that bungee cord? And again, I see that as our relationship with God and our relationship with our internal soul, our, our self. It doesn't matter. No matter what happens, I will be OK. How do we get there though? That's like, you cannot get from here to here in one fell swoop. It's literally by practicing these tiny little movements. Push yourself to do something that's hard. Speaker 2 Notice the resistance. Notice how hard it was. Notice how scary it felt even after you might get the rejection you were afraid of. Come back and hold that part of you. You're. Speaker 1 Safe. Your value has not gone down because that other person rejected you. Your worthiness is not dependent on how they respond or not. And literally by practicing those little degrees. Speaker 2 That is how you. Speaker 1 Get to the space where you could just do that, the absolute jump dive, and you're going to be OK. You're going to come right back up. Speaker 5 So I see chapter 15 as the push to see. Speaker 1 You have to keep keep pushing yourself out so you can get to there. Speaker 5 I get a nod, I get a yes. I mean, is it resonating? Does it make? Speaker 1 Sense. Thank you. Speaker 5 Brockie, that was from your question like 20 minutes. Speaker 1 Ago I want to make sure it answered your question. Speaker 5 I just feel I need to add I don't know why. Speaker 4 Like I'm listening to you with my. Speaker 2 Head again. Speaker 4 Cerebrally and, and I'm thinking, so what's the action that's different for me? Inviting God: Releasing Outcome Control, Embracing Action And I have the concept of pause and pray. It's invite Hashem like the difficulty is going to be difficult because I that's the way I've showed up until now. And the only way I'm going to do something that's hard or difficult is I need to, I need a shift in something in some way and somehow that I'm doing this action. And for me is pause and pray, invite Hashem in it. Hashem supposed, you know, I have to say something, Shem, give me be the conduit. And then there's the question of me as I was saying that, you know, if, if I'm consciously inviting Hashem in this very difficult, whatever it is, there's a greater chance I will actually push myself to do it, of course, accordingly to what the circumstance is. And then I've heard in my life, less me, more you Hashem, more me, less you Hashem. But I don't think that's the truth here. It's not less or more, it's expansion. And So what I'm hearing Bruffy. Speaker 2 Yeah, what? Speaker 1 What I'm hearing, I'm gonna say it in in my words and tell me if it resonates. What I'm hearing is inviting God in into this is in every relationship, in every experience, in every circumstance, we are not putting, we are not. It's not like, you know, when I'm pushing myself outside of my comfort zone to engage with another person, like the I started the example of, you know, the relational example with a spouse or a friend. Inviting God in means that it's not the onus isn't on them to respond. It's it's, it's on God. It's on, it's like I'm giving it to God. I'm saying God, these are my needs. These are my desires. These are my hopes, please fill them in. Speaker 5 Whichever way you feel would. Speaker 1 Be best for me. I hope you can fill them. In other words, I trust you God, to guide this process more than I trust myself to guide this process 'cause you know more than I know what the ending's supposed to look like or how this is supposed to unfold. Our expectations are limited. Our expectations are are sometimes limited to the way that our animals soul sees things. It looks like this is would be most comfortable. Looks like this would feel best. It looks like this will feel safest and God has a different God. Speaker 2 Has a much more long. Speaker 1 Term unfolding available. Speaker 2 He's got the bird's eye view and. Speaker 1 When we invite God in, it's our way of releasing control of the outcome. Not because we don't desire like we still being hold on to your desires, hold on to your dreams, hold on to your needs, but release, release control of the outcome. Your well-being is not dependent on one particular outcome. It's it's dependent on God, right? So yeah, so it's it's inviting the Abistra. Speaker 4 In and then finishing off. If it's if it's, if it's your will, if it's meant to be, you know, it's like this is where my limited finite self sees where I'd like it to go or or need or want or how, and I and the surrendering a neighbor to it. If it's your will and and you know, the acceptance of the outcome is not mine. I think that for me that that just being consciously aware before I do whatever it is I do kind of takes me out of the old and into a new I'm I'm imagining. Speaker 5 Again, this is just. Speaker 1 The way my brain is interpreting this earlier, I had given the encouragement, I said push yourself. Notice a place where there's resistance and fear and push yourself out of your comfort zone. When we invite God in. Again, this I'm stating the obvious, but this is a question so many people ask. It's like, wait a minute, where does my effort versus God's involvement pushing past your comfort zone means? Speaker 2 You. Speaker 1 Still have your eye on what it is that you need so you're not laying on the couch and saying God, however you want the circumstance to turn out. No, you have to actually get up and make the action and then let go of the outcome. That's where you let go, not before the action. You still have to do the ACT, let go of the outcome, but don't let go of the the initiative. Yes. Speaker 5 And I think that's where it happens. Speaker 4 Like as soon as there's a recognition, a conscious awareness, I'm not alone in this process. It's difficult. I think that's what happens right there. The conscious awareness of shifting between. I'm scared, I am uncertain. I whatever it is, which is the I and the invitation Hashem, this is, you know, the prayer, whatever it is for whoever it is, the pause that happens that or I to me that feels like that's the conscious awareness of I. I'm letting go of the old way of showing up. I'm aligning myself. I'm not alone in this and I'm curious to see where we're. Speaker 5 Going with this. Speaker 4 And we'll see where this takes us. You know, guys, we should do homework. Everybody could come back and tell us. Speaker 1 Yeah, a little accountability here I. Speaker 2 Think that's the. Speaker 1 Answer You pushed yourself this week, yeah, but it's holding on like you were. Speaker 2 Saying the bungee rope, you know? Speaker 4 It's like all of a sudden there's a bungee jump available, no? Speaker 5 Yeah, I, I, I. Speaker 1 That it was interesting I feel like that bungee rope was a really good. It was like a good visual for me. I had literally on the way been texting with someone about this like the. Speaker 2 Like where does? Speaker 1 Safety come in. Where does trust come in? Where does safety come in? Where does trust come in? And it's, it could feel tricky in our brain and our brain, it doesn't, you know, like I need to control this. Where do I trust? Who do I trust? How do I trust? Speaker 2 The only. Speaker 1 The only place we trust is God and our deep knowing that we are grounded in that godly truth. And then and then that's it. That's where trust is in the bungee. Speaker 5 Good visual. Yeah, thank you. You just have to get access to the. Speaker 2 Bungee if you don't have access yet to the. Speaker 1 Bungee life feels very scary and so it's in this tiny little 1% movements where we gain more and more access. Speaker 5 So you have to, you have to push yourself and hold. Speaker 1 Hold the fear, push and hold the fear at the same time. Summarizing the Benini's Path and Weekly Homework All right, ladies, anything else before we sign off for the day? Thank you. Can you just sum up? Can you just sum? Speaker 2 Up the the way it relates to the banning in this chapter in like 2 sentences. Say that again. I didn't hear you. Can you just? Speaker 1 Sum up like the way it relates. Speaker 2 To the Bainani in this chapter in like 2 sentences. The altar of it in this chapter. The altar of it in this. Speaker 1 Chapter calls the Bainani. He says there's two types. There's the one who's doing the work and who's not doing the work, the Ayvid Hashem, Ayvid Alai Kim and Leyavidi, the one who's not serving him, the one who's serving God, the one who's not serving him. And he explains that the one who's not serving him is the one that just got hit a plateau. And so he's not, he's not pushing. Speaker 5 He's not pushing himself. Speaker 1 So altar, the altar was basically pushed the same to us here. Like it's you may have done a lot of work and you may have like, you know, regulated yourself into a space where like it's it's easier, it's easier to stay aligned, making choices that the alignment, but in order to. Speaker 2 To expand and go deeper and deeper into your actual truth. Speaker 1 You have to keep pushing yourself beyond your nature because your nature's, your animal soul at the end of the day becomes second nature, becomes easy. The animal soul's comfortable there, so he wants us to push beyond that. Amazing. Thank you. Speaker 5 I. Speaker 2 Thank you, Tuvi. Speaker 5 I just it's really. Speaker 6 Interesting. It's like, it's like you, you toil and you toil and you toil and you're like, OK, Then then you start to get grounded and you're like, OK, I'm good. And then all of a sudden you're like, OK, no, this is not enough. And then you got to like walk and do it again. You like, it's like you got to like walk up the hill, like push past the resistance and then you toil again and it's like, it's like another. We're just constantly like just yeah, yeah. I think, Sarah, what you're saying makes me, makes me realize. Speaker 1 That like, if we're awake and conscious, life invites us into this. It's not like you. Speaker 2 You don't even have to wake up in the morning and go. Speaker 1 What? Speaker 2 What should I do differently today? Life invites you. Stay awake, stay conscious, stay aware and and you know, you're gonna notice yourself. You're gonna notice yourself either slipping into a default setting. Something feels uncomfortable, and that's your invitation. Speaker 1 It is. It is the invitation. Speaker 5 But it's but the. Speaker 6 But the true part of it is like not listening to the voices and the stories and just like kind of putting 1 foot in front of the other. Like that's what it is. What are the typical voices and stories? Give me an example. Speaker 1 I mean fear. Speaker 6 Resistance, other's perceptions, destabilization. I mean, it could be a million. I can, I can, I can go on and on. No good. I just wanted you to to to clarify. Speaker 2 That for any of our listeners. Speaker 1 Yeah, but but ultimately those are the voices that live. Speaker 6 Inside and those are narratives. Speaker 1 Those are narratives. And so a narrative means, uh oh, my animal. So got control of my thought, come back into truth and. Speaker 5 Like this is a growth opportunity. Speaker 1 This is another stretching your muscle experience. You've just you've just upped a level. Yeah. Speaker 6 Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Have a. Speaker 1 Beautiful week ladies, take care.